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Dependent_Vast_4272 Archive

View 2 posts and 216 comments by Dependent_Vast_4272 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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1

Absolutely not!
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/23 03:08 PM
3

If this is the case you are doing marriage wrong.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/23 02:05 PM
2

I did for 2-3 years....there was a lot of trauma and it got the point where I didn't care what price I paid to eacape. At that time I engaged in casually sexual interactions to achieve a goal, to feel some level of being desired, to get what I needed, but I stopped when I met my husband. He was different and I wanted something real with him, and I started getting my life on track. Never looked back, so I hate the argument about body count or behavior when you are younger determine your ability t…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/23 05:29 PM
3

I love my husband beyond what words can describe. However all relationships (save probably parent/child) should have a level of conditional love. Actually its not even conditional love, it is boundaries in which they will not allow themselves to be disrespected, abused, etc. With that being said, within the bounds of those major deal-breakers, my day to day love is unconditional.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/23 02:27 AM
1

Most men masterbate, not rape someone.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/12/22 12:25 PM
1

That is not what leads to rape.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/12/22 12:20 PM
1

No thanks
/r/PurplePillDebate27/12/22 10:29 AM
–

I have had men literally telling me how hideous and fat I must be and that I am being cheated on but too stupid to know it in response to comments about being happily married. Shit like that is what I am talking about. Well that and guys trying to convince me that all men fantasize about rape, molestation of children/animals, necrophilia etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/12/22 05:55 PM
–

As long as it remains about related content then yes I agree, but there are those who take content and either twist is or go off on a completely different tangent.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/12/22 05:18 PM
1

I'm the same way and likewise.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/22 11:51 PM
1

I guess I just look at it as 1) be a decent human being 2) be professional at work 3) be relaxed around family and friends.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/22 10:43 PM
1

I don't get it though, why not just be who you are regardless.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/22 10:31 PM
1

That is understandable, I think sharing an opinion without a belligerent attitude or insults is totally fine personally.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/22 06:46 PM
1

Feel free to list contradictory statements or move on.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/22 04:18 PM
0

Carry on. Making ambiguous statements and random insults just embarrasses you.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/22 04:03 PM
0

Carry on. Making ambiguous statements and random insults just embarrasses you.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/22 04:03 PM
1

Carry on. Making ambiguous statements and random insults just embarrasses you.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/22 04:03 PM
1

Well checking forums for my interactions and commenting insults on all of them is pretty obsessed. And sad.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/22 03:58 PM
0

Either engage in logical discussion or leave me alone.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/22 03:58 PM
0

Cool then stop stalking marriage forum posts🤣 Your level of obsession says you do care🤣
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/22 03:52 PM
0

Please go be obsessed with someone else, baseless insults really don't phase me.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/22 03:51 PM
1

So you view married people as hypocrites, cool beans. Not sure how being married is contradictory. I have a real life, the internet is not my source of entertainment.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/22 03:51 PM
1

Please find someone else to stalk.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/22 03:49 PM
0

You seem obsessed with me since you are searching through all my stuff. I spend most of my time in real life, not putting it up on the internet. And yeah I don't use any social media or forums for sexual gratification, I have that in real life too🤣
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/22 03:48 PM
0

You really have an issue with anyone being in a happy marriage don't you?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/22 03:45 PM
0

You are intentionally obtuse. Have a great day.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/22 03:44 PM
1

Thank you, that was very concrete.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/22 01:20 PM
0

Ok I'll simplify for you. I don't use social media or forums for deep stimulating conversation regarding career topics. As I am a married women, being involved in relationship and marriage forums seems like a logical choice rather than "a typical drama nosey woman.". You can view marriage and relationships as pointless but others don't have to share that view.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/22 01:15 PM
1

This debate is pointless because you are not debating you are trying to beat it into me until I agree with you. I guess on a law of averages you would have to determine "how much sex men want." Male/male relationships having the most sex makes sense because as a general rule most men need no other relationship dynamic addressed to have sex. So the relationship can be shit and they still have sex. Lesbian relationships doesn't mean they are both perfect at meeting each other's needs.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/22 12:04 PM
1

Exhibit A lol
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/22 11:55 AM
1

What response are you looking for?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/22 10:54 AM
1

Yes because men shouldn't treat women better, women should just want sex more. Got it🙄
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/22 10:30 AM
1

Honesty is good, but I'm talking about randomly picking people to be beligerent towards.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/22 10:27 AM
1

Pretty sad that people are that spineless honestly.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/22 10:25 AM
1

I've always been very outgoing and can usually establish a rapport with some of the most difficult people.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/22 03:28 AM
2

Yes, but there are people here who are capable of rational discussion rather than baseless degradation.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/22 03:16 AM
0

Because again I prefer stimulating discussion from colleagues. I'm not the one having a hard time reading. Please go find someone else to annoy.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/22 03:14 AM
1

Fair enough. I'm more talking about the unprovoked beligerence though (not referring to you).
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/22 03:12 AM
1

Choosing you how?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/22 03:11 AM
1

Ok so then I prefer to discuss science, logic, and research with colleagues, rather than the people I usually see on this forum.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/22 02:48 AM
0

I'm not mad. I use social media for random scrolling and discussion, and real life for science, logic, and research (ironically its my career field actually). I would not try to discuss any of those things with most of the people I see interacting on here.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/22 02:42 AM
3

That also makes sense. I think what gets me the most is how much long term relationships are mocked and being told there is zero chance my husband is happy or faithful.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/22 02:34 AM
3

That makes sense. I guess since I'm a woman I only see the men being degrading and belittling towards me.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/22 02:28 AM
2

No kidding! Honestly 1)I am thankful I am happily married instead of trying to date and 2) I am genuinely worried about what things will be like for my kids!
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/22 02:09 AM
0

But there is a huge difference between keeping it real and being an asshole for the sake of being an asshole....
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/22 02:08 AM
1

Honestly for the most part! I mean granted there are always difficult people, but not like this!
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/22 02:07 AM
0

So much truth🤣🤣🤣
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/22 02:06 AM
1

Lol truth!
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/22 01:23 AM
0

Isn't that the truth!! Dude some of the comments I get either to post or in pm piss my husband off so bad! Don't dare ask any relationship questions, you will be innundated with comments/messages about how fat and hideous you must be or that your spouse is definitely cheating on you given how long you have been together and you are just to stupid to know it🤯
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/22 01:06 AM
0

That is a bit of a different circumstance. I literally had guys trying to convince me the other day that ALL men fantasize about rape, molestation of children/animals, necrophilia, etc. You really can't convince me someone wouldn't realize that was wrong.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/22 12:58 AM
3

Very good point!
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/22 12:34 AM
6

Whoa!!!! And yes I absolutely agree that they are cowards, but the fact that they hide their behavior shows they know it is wrong, no matter how much they claim it is "normal" online.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/22 12:21 AM
2

It is unsettling to me as well, and definitely makes me want to withdraw a little more from people I don't know well.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/22 12:20 AM
2

This is a really good perspective, thank you. Maybe the subreddits and the level of radical opinions do play a heavy role. I'm definitely getting tired of the "ALL men" or "ALL women" narrative 🤦‍♀️
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/22 12:19 AM
1

Probably so! I'm the same person regardless of how I am interacting. But yes, so much of what is said would be statistical anomalies at best 🤣
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/22 12:17 AM
0

Holy shit. Fine. Since you are going to annoy the hell out of me for no reason. Some people seem to not need relationships while others seem to thrive in them. It may not be a physiological need but for some it does seem to improve quality of life. Better??
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/22 12:15 AM
1

Maybe I'm just seeing some of the more negative examples lol
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/22 12:07 AM
1

Very true.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/22 12:07 AM
3

No kidding! Either there are a lot of people who like to run their mouths, or psychopathy is way more prevalent than we realized....
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/22 12:03 AM
-2

I would say "sex positivity" seems to be more of "toxic sexuality" truthfully. As far as women, I haven't seen much of it (definitely not saying it isn't there!), but I can't tell you how many men have used this as a reason to tell me what all women are, and that clearly since I am a woman I must embody these things.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/22 12:02 AM
1

Thank you for sharing! It has honestly made me really consider whether thr benefits of social media platforms outweigh the negatives.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/22 11:59 PM
0

I think you may be right! Ironically these are the same men who complain that "higher quality" women don't like them.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/22 11:53 PM
0

Is there something you gain from mocking strangers?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/22 11:15 PM
3

No sorry, men need to step up and better themselves if they aren't happy. Somehow forcing women to be with shitty men so shitty men don't feel bad about themselves doesn't seem to be the answer.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/22 10:29 PM
2

I love this....women are doing a bad job of picking men, so lets strip women of their right to choose. It definitely could NOT be that some men just need to step up and be better people🙄
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/22 10:24 PM
1

I didn't have any number in mind, it was just an honest discussion.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/22 09:57 PM
2

Just tell the truth! If you are planning to marry someone you should be able to be honest or you should just walk away.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/22 09:53 PM
0

Have a great day
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/22 09:51 PM
1

Not evading just seems like a pointless pursuit. 1) You have already concluded that men don't need to change how they interact with their partner in order to improve sexual quality and frequency. 2) You refuse to believe any woman can have a high libido. 3) You are happily stuck in genders stereotypes. I know women that are higher libido than most men, and I know men who are turned off from sex if there is distance emotionally.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/22 09:51 PM
1

So you randomly picked and skimmed, got it. Again let me help. If we are discussing heterosexual relationship and the negative impacts of the partners behaviors, then yes that would by default be a man. But regardless, I can't simplify it any more, and its not worth trying to convince someone who is happily and willfully ignorant.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/22 04:45 PM
2

Again, lashing out at a complete stranger for no reason
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/22 04:35 PM
1

So by your logic no one should respond? Since we can't respond from life experience we haven't lived? I wasn't resorting to a defensive insult; statistically speaking those that lash out for no reason on perfect strangers are not in a good headspace. My comment seemed to trigger you and since it was regarding a mutually happy marriage it seemed logical that was a sore topic.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/22 02:04 PM
0

I answered based on my life view. Not narcissistic or egocentric. Sorry someone hurt you.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/22 01:09 PM
1

Wow you cherry picked those and clearly don't read well for comprehension. Not random studies; studies regarding the impact of emotional connection, pornography usage, uneven distribution of labor, relationship satisfaction, etc on female sex drive. In your effort to pick a quote out of context, you missed the one in the same study that stated "The majority of the sample, rather, fit the predicted pattern—those who abstained from pornography experienced greater marital stability over time, while …
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/22 12:36 PM
0

It was a general question whether you like my answer or not
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/22 12:19 PM
1

There is no "one size fits all" example of attraction. Some people are attracted to appearance (and beauty is subjective), some attracted to money/power, some attracted to personality/values etc, etc. I love sex. But I want to have sex with the man who loves me, cares about me, and works to maintain an emotional connection. I likewise do the same for him. That shouldn't be difficult to understand. Well connected, intimate relationships lead to much higher levels of sexual satisfaction for both p…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/22 02:55 AM
5

If you are truly in to someone you shouldn't base your treatment of them based on their perceived number of attractiveness.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/22 02:12 AM
3

In the technical sense, no I don't "need" my husband and he doesn't "need" me, but we have no desire to do life without each other!
/r/PurplePillDebate18/12/22 08:36 PM
2

You keep telling yourself that🤣
/r/PurplePillDebate18/12/22 06:16 PM
1

You are a CHILD arguing about things you have no clue about. Good luck finding an obedient doormat.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/12/22 06:13 PM
1

But again I have done BOTH so I do have the experience to know what I am talking about.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/12/22 06:10 PM
1

1) You have no kids 2) You have zero experience being a any kind of parent 3) You fail to realize taking care of children is exhausting, when you are always home trying to keep things clean is an exercise in futility, and there is no recognition for what you do at all.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/12/22 06:09 PM
1

Hahahahahahahaha you have no idea what raising children is like. I have been a stay at home mom and a working mom. Stay at home moms work just as hard!
/r/PurplePillDebate18/12/22 05:56 PM
1

https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&url=https://drrebeccajorgensen.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/09/Sexual-Desire-Descrepancy.pdf&ved= 2ahUKEwjytsHbnoP8AhVNMlkFHabdDiQ4ChAWegQIBxAB&usg=AOvVaw0Clyg9frE8ZUk47vp6P37m https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/full/10.1111/andr.12224 https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&url=https://researchonline.jcu.edu.au/57792/1/JCU_Pers%2520Relat%2520Accepted%2520Peer%2520Review.pdf&ved=2ahUKEwj01Ze5w4P8AhX1UjUKHet3AHk4FBAWegQICxAB&usg=AOvVaw2qRF…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/12/22 05:55 PM
1

Its a well known fact that you can accept or choose to ignore. How many men look at spending time talking to their wife with open honest communication a burden? How many men feel doing anything around the house or participating in child raising is "not their responsibility"?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/12/22 10:53 AM
1

I'm not sure where y'all are finding these women. My husband doesn't "owe" me sex or vice versa. We also don't "owe" each other money, we just both do what needs to be done to provide for our family.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/12/22 10:50 AM
1

So will you always believe there is better out there no matter who you are with? Yes I'm sure its not as bad as I imagine. A woman being lesser than a man, with no real decision making capabilities, 100% responsible for childcare, etc etc. Sounds lovely.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/12/22 10:47 AM
1

Either I get my way or I leave🙄 If not manipulation, lay your "standards" out from day one. If you believe your standards are reasonable this shouldn't be an issue.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/12/22 03:27 AM
1

Manipulation is probably the only way, so I guess I see why you wouldn't share your opinions of women until she is already deeply involved.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/12/22 03:20 AM
1

Good luck finding a real relationship like that, but for her sake please lead with that so she knows how you really feel right from the start.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/12/22 03:06 AM
1

We are equals
/r/PurplePillDebate18/12/22 02:48 AM
1

Anyone can get a one night stand....it takes a lot more to maintain a relationship
/r/PurplePillDebate18/12/22 12:55 AM
2

Omg I'm so glad someone gets it!!!!
/r/PurplePillDebate18/12/22 12:54 AM
1

There are still men who find sex with a long term relationship desirable, passionate, and fullfilling. Creativity and intimacy are much better than laziness.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/12/22 12:51 AM
1

There are both women and men who remain faithful.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/12/22 12:49 AM
1

It requires believing women as lesser than men.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/22 11:27 PM
1

Yes you are correct, it does seem that you are trying to emulate the early to mid 1900's.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/22 11:10 PM
1

All relationships aren't the same, nor are they all healthy.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/22 11:04 PM
3

Well you have fun with an insecure lazy wife if that is what you are into.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/22 11:03 PM
1

I'm not divorced so the statistics don't apply.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/22 11:02 PM
1

Judging by the success of our relationship and our mutual happiness we must have done something right.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/22 11:01 PM
1

I'm not trying to insult you and I'm not talking in circles. We have productive discussions all the time. Your idea of a relationship is your right, however it is reasonable to say that someone who has no experience in any area of the discussion has no expertise on the matter. Maturity and experience teach and mold our views.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/22 10:56 PM
1

Omg I didn't know I was talking to a child with zero experience in anything he was presenting himself as an expert on🤣🤦‍♀️ Life is gonna teach you some tough lessons, but hopefully they help you grow.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/22 10:47 PM
6

So if confidence is masculine, insecurity is feminine? If driven is masculine, lazy is feminine? Have fun with that🤣
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/22 10:45 PM
1

My husband and I are a team, which can mean anything from 50/50, 100/100, 25/100, etc depending on what else is going on. You can feel bad for him if you choose. Not sure why you would feel sorry for a man who is happily married and has a wife as an equal partner. The success of the relationship with his mentality speaks volumes. But you sound miserable so do you.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/22 10:44 PM
1

Whatever you want to believe is on you. It doesn't sound like you have a successful long-term relationship anyway, so you aren't exactly a reliable source.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/22 10:40 PM
1

Whatever I would rather spend time with my family than cater to someone who is intensional obtuse. You can find the studies too. Yes a woman who is sexual satisfied will want sex more often, and a woman that has an emotional connection and intimacy outside the bedroom is more sexually satisfied. I'll let you figure out the correlation.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/22 10:27 PM
1

Sorry, but you made them too, so yeah it is all your responsibility too. Wow I need to seriously go thank my husband for being such an amazing man!
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/22 10:24 PM
1

I can honestly say the vast majority of couples in our age bracket that I know are just like we are
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/22 10:24 PM
1

You should want to be involved with your kids honestly.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/22 08:54 PM
2

Then you shouldn't commit to a relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/22 08:54 PM
1

Both of our checks go into the same account. We discuss any purchases over $50, and I don't like shopping, so 🤷‍♀️
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/22 08:48 PM
1

So women work for no purpose while men pay the bills??
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/22 08:43 PM
1

The rest of your post completely negates this statement. You expect a woman to work, take care of the kids, hold down the home, follow your orders (as you consider her opinion but make all the decisions), and provide sex on demand. In exchange you will bring home a paycheck. A marrage is a partnership, not a dictatorship.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/22 08:41 PM
1

etd.auburn.edu https://etd.auburn.edu › handlePDF the relationship among marital quality, sexual frequency https://markmanson.net/sex-and-our-psychological-needs
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/22 08:39 PM
1

This is not how it has to be. Find a compatible partner and make a genuine effort to nuture that relationship on a daily basis. Those relationships are the most likely to have satisfying sex lives
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/22 08:17 PM
2

Apparently no man can comprehend the existence of truly high libido women.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/22 08:13 PM
1

When you love someone there has to be compromise.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/22 08:11 PM
1

Wow I don't even know where to start. I have never had a physical type of man I preferred. I also wouldn't be with someone so shallow as to demand a certain physical standard. I prefer real. Women also work. You taking care of the children you created and taking care of the house you life in is not "additional responsibility." Its called being a parent and adult. I have never had a man take care of my "lifestyle.". We both work, and if by lifestyle you mean a home, food, electricity, etc we are …
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/22 08:04 PM
1

I won't even entertain this nonsense. You want a slave, not a partner.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/22 07:59 PM
9

You can be feminine, confident, and driven. What you are describing is wanting a woman who is easy to control.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/22 07:37 PM
1

I'm not sure what you mean by getting more out of your work? We have boundaries in our marriage, but my husband is well satisfied. Marriage isn't one person deserves more than the other.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/22 06:22 PM
3

I genuinely enjoy sex and feel horny frequently! However I prefer to wait for my husband instead of masterbate; our connection is already there, but the type of sex I crave varies if that makes sense.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/22 05:30 PM
1

I completely agree! I do think that they should wait till both are in the mood, or if it is something that is mutually desired, take care of the partner who is in the mood in other ways.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/22 05:25 PM
1

Once a commitment has been made and boundaries set the same rules apply for both.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/22 05:20 PM
1

Men have more expectations by society? Women are expected to look good, not age, fit an "ideal" personality type, work full time jobs and be successful, raise children, and run a home.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/22 05:04 PM
1

This isn't always the case, just HL females aren't often talked about.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/22 04:29 PM
1

Its not talked about, but its not as rare as you think...
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/22 04:23 PM
2

True, but loving someone and loving them in the way they need to feel loved aren't always the same.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/22 02:20 PM
2

Yeah I don't understand wanting sex with a partner just going through the motions. I hsve just seen a lot of men on this platform especially say that if she doesn't comply when he is in the mood he has a right to seek alternative sources because sex is a "need" for him.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/22 02:13 PM
2

You only know men that genuinely enjoy spending time having open and honest communication, emotional vulnerability, date nights, etc?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/22 01:52 PM
3

This is based on selfishness, not desire though. Are you saying that men cannot wait a day or two? What about after she has a baby? Does 6 weeks of waiting give a man the right to cheat in your mind?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/22 01:50 PM
0

Oh I see
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/22 01:23 PM
2

That's not what I was asking though. Why do men feel it is "owed" to them whenever the mood strikes? I would happily have sex at least every day, but my husband in no way is obligated to meet that want if he is not in the mood.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/22 01:22 PM
9

Why is it masculine? You want meek, passive, needy women?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/22 01:19 PM
8

Exactly 🤣
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/22 01:18 PM
6

I did.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/22 01:06 PM
3

There are plenty of women who are not like this for starters. However, sex is also many times a reflection of the relationship outside the bedroom.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/22 01:05 PM
0

Did you change the way you were meeting her needs?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/22 01:04 PM
1

Yes there are copious scientific studies demonstrating this. Most women don't want to have sex with men who don't treat them well. By laws of averages, men have a higher drive. On an individual level there are many women with higher drives than most men, just like there are men who have normal testosterone levels but a lower drive.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/22 12:59 PM
2

Psychopathy which has nothing to do with normal sex drive. I am a female with higher than normal testesterone, so by your description my thoughts should have become more perverted when my levels increased?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/22 12:48 PM
2

Rape is about control not sex
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/22 12:45 PM
1

You are also saying that men (just on the basis of being men) have psychopathic fantasties??
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/22 12:43 PM
3

I don't feel entitled to either, and we both contribute to and share household finances.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/22 12:39 PM
21

Even when I was younger I didn't wear makeup everyday, and my now husband saw me dressed nice and chilling in sweats. Its called being real.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/22 03:06 AM
38

I'm strong, driven, and independent, yet that is not all I am. I am also loving, faithful, comforting, etc. He was attracted to my strong personality, and regardless of what I did sexually before him i have been 100% happily faithful from the day he asked me on the first date. Having a strong personality is not masculine.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/22 03:03 AM
4

Yeah I have kids, but took measures not to get pregnant again and still have a libido higher than anyone I know!
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/22 01:09 AM
1

https://www.foriawellness.com/blogs/learn/spontaneous-vs-responsive-desire-whats-the-difference
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/22 01:08 AM
8

You should really do more research because responsive desire is absolutely valid and not an indication of low libido. Fear of rejection is valid depending on the situation. Men also experience this as well Sex is a reflection of the overall relationship after the "honeymoon phase.". It requires intimacy and effort inside and outside the bedroom, and honestly why is responsive desire a bad thing? If she is being thoroughly taken care of she will probably be more excited about sex. I have zero iss…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/22 11:23 PM
2

Psychopathy has NOTHING to do with any form of normal desire and the fact that you are trying to normalize it is a HUGE 🚩
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/22 10:21 PM
1

On average once a man gets sex he stops treating her in such a way that she would desire to continue having sex. Intimacy is more than sex and it requires effort.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/22 10:19 PM
4

No absolutely not! Normal sex drive and testosterone will NEVER make someone get off on the abuse and SA of animals and children!!!
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/22 10:16 PM
6

Absolutely not!!! No amount of testosterone or sexually desire turns someone into a psychopath that gets off on abusing those who can't consent or fight back!
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/22 10:14 PM
3

And I truly believe that is how it should be!
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/22 10:10 PM
1

I don't want to argue. I was just pointing out the literal definition.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/22 10:01 PM
2

Oh I absolutely agree that is sooo wrong, but I have seen countless men justify it that way which is appalling.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/22 09:48 PM
1

I was specifically referring to the definition of commitment, not the morality of relationships.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/22 09:46 PM
1

It is a different relationship...this should not have to be said🤦‍♀️
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/22 09:31 PM
4

I'm sorry no amount of sexual urge would entice someone into murder, beastiality, or child molestation. The last two in particular have zero to do with normal sexual desire.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/22 09:26 PM
3

So you are saying that male sexuality drives them to this level and I just can't understand because I'm a woman???
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/22 09:25 PM
1

You are assuming here that all women are LL which is absolutely not the case. It is also important to remember both partners in a heterosexual relationship contribute directly or indirectly to how much sex occurs.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/22 09:23 PM
3

Yeah I'm definitely not talking about dead bedroom situations, Im talking about say one partner wants it daily vs the other who prefers 3-5+ times a week depending on what else is going on. There have been times where I was intensely in the mood but he wasn't that particular day....I have never felt it was my "right" to have that desire met at my every whim. Now there are many times he will take care of me in other ways or sometimes we will just enjoy intimacy and both be in the mood the next da…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/22 09:22 PM
2

Yeah society has become fixated on molding others into what they want them to be instead of building and maintaining healthy relationships.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/22 09:18 PM
2

I think that a lot (not all) of the why behind those needs not being met should be evaluated, because they very well may be sabotaging themselves. I would not say this applies broadly because all situations are different, but definitely more than it doesn't. I would rather have PIV sex with equal desire, however we both will take care of the other in others ways if one is in the mood and the other isn't.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/22 09:17 PM
2

Fair enough, but the rational mind should be able to logically formulate a compromise correct?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/22 09:14 PM
5

This is absolutely not across the board.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/22 09:13 PM
5

So then fine if you choose to believe this false presumption, you have to also believe men only want sex subconsciously to procreate.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/22 09:12 PM
3

I can agree that 15 minutes to take care of you is not unreasonable as long as the frequency is not excessive. But sometimes she may just not be in the headspace for it depending on life circumstances (I wouldn't want my husband just going through the motions). Also if most sexual encounters are 15 minutes that may be part of why she doesn't want to.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/22 09:11 PM
5

I could understand 15 minutes occasionally if she isn't in the mood and mostly agree unless the requested frequency was unreasonable. Sometimes life does get in the way. But a couple of things 1) emotional connection shouldn't really be a burden and 2) if most sexual encounters only last 15 minutes that may be part of why she doesn't enjoy it.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/22 09:08 PM
6

Ok first off sperm reabsorption is actually psychological fact. I'm not doing a good job of understanding? So do most men strive to understand female sex drive? Most concerning however is the last statement. Are you justifying murder, beastiality, and molestation/SA with the intensity of male desire?!?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/22 08:45 PM
2

I can agree with that
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/22 08:42 PM
4

This is kind of the entire premise of my question. I agree with you completely; I can INTENSELY desire sex, but it is not a need, which means it is not the end of the world to wait a day or two. Yes I want it, and yes the intensity and tension builds, but my spouse does not have to automatically comply if I am in the mood and he isn't. It just shocks me seeing so many men posting or commenting fully indicating they believe it is a need, and one that should always be met.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/22 08:39 PM
1

This is an interesting perception. So if one partner would be content with daily sex or more and the other was 3-5ish days a week they are incompatible in your mind? Does this leave room for compromise?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/22 08:34 PM
3

Fair enough, but testosterone still doesn't make it a need comparable to say the base level in Maslow's hierarchy of needs.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/22 08:30 PM
3

Exactly! Haha sometimes we do hate ourselves a little bit when the alarm goes off in the morning 🤣
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/22 08:28 PM
8

Your body reabsorbs sperm that is not ejaculated. Otherwise celebate men would be struggling to walk while carrying bowling ball sized testicles🤣 As far as your description of the level of craving I can absolutely relate. However, let me ask you this....idk if you have kids, but I'll use that analogy for simplicity's sake. Lets say you are unbelievably horny and planning to have sex with your partner but right beforehand your child begins experiencing a true medical emergency. Will you masterbat…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/22 08:27 PM
6

Lol well since I want sex more than my partner does, no that is not what I am saying. I am talking about the men who say it is as much a "need" as air so whenever they are in the mood they "have no choice" but to do whatever it takes to get release. It seems throughout some of the comments on this thread that there is a misconception that female desire can't be as intense as male desire.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/22 08:22 PM
1

But what defines compatibility in your mind?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/22 08:19 PM
2

I think society promotes such a narrow view and definition of sex. Sex does not have to ONLY mean intercourse, but can absolutely be any activity that has the purpose of and results in sexual pleasure! I will say multiple times a day is usually on non-working days lol where we can really devote time to being with each other
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/22 08:19 PM
2

Yes💕
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/22 08:16 PM
5

No, I'm legitimately trying to understand where this line of thinking and entitlement came from. If testosterone removes free will, no man would be capable of faithfulness....
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/22 08:15 PM
3

But while I truly have a high drive, the quality of our relationship has a huge impact
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/22 08:13 PM
3

I totally get this! I would be perfectly happy with 1-3 times a day!
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/22 08:11 PM
6

I can't have anymore kids lol so I can assure you that is definitely not my reason. Not to mention if that were a motivator it could absolutely result in "functional sex" not intende passionate desire.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/22 08:05 PM
5

So men are slave to testosterone and can't control themselves and women are slaves to trying to get pregnant (even if they can't)? This is not true, and it eliminates the extremely complex psychological aspect of desire.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/22 08:03 PM
4

There are plenty of women who have a higher libido than their partner who don't feel entitled to sex whenever they are in the mood though.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/22 08:02 PM
9

Testosterone definitely plays a role, but by this logic alone you would have to come to the following two conclusions if this were the sole explanation: 1) men are slaves to testesterone and cannot control themselves (which of course isn't true) 2) That a woman could never have a higher drive than a man with normal testosterone levels (again, also not true)
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/22 08:01 PM
2

So seeking alternative means if their partner isn't in the mood is essentially a way to ease insecurities?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/22 07:54 PM
7

This is a very very narrow view. I DEFINITELY do not want to get pregnant, yet I experience intense desire.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/22 07:53 PM
9

But you acknowledge it is a choice? Why do you feel that women don't experience the same intensity?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/22 07:41 PM
8

Correct. I'm just wondering why men seem to feel that they are entitled to having the desire fullfilled?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/22 07:40 PM
5

Correct. I'm just wondering why men seem to feel that they are entitled to having the desire fullfilled?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/22 07:40 PM
3

15+ years, but that is with both of us truly investing in our relationship in and out of the bedroom
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/22 07:35 PM
6

I can honestly say I don't relate to this article at all....I still absolutely feel the "gotta have him now" intensity of desire for my husband!
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/22 07:31 PM
5

When you say "can't" you are saying you aren't physically capable? And what specifically do you mean is different about male vs female desire?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/22 07:23 PM
1

Neither of us feel forced, we both chose this willingly. And yes I can honestly say if my husband could be with anyone I have zero doubt that he would still choose me.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/22 07:08 PM
1

Then why do you decline believing that couples are mutually choosing monogomy and are mutually happy? I am not lying, and I know exactly how I would react. I'm not open or interested in any romantic or sexual interaction outside my marriage, therefore I never participate in them. It is not a temptation because I have zero desire for it. I know my husband feels the same way. When you chose monogomy willingly and actively invest in your relationship, your partner is able to satisfy you in ways no …
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/22 07:00 PM
2

Since the literally definition of commitment is "a promise to be loyal to SOMEONE or something" I'm not sure how being poly fits the definition.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/22 06:57 PM
2

1) Ok fine not "forced" just "coerced"....closely synonyms. 2) you persist in the false assumption that couple mutually wants monogamy 3) Since commitment IS to one person, no you can't. 4) Plenty of couples do not lie when they say their wedding vows. There will always be those who can make a mockery out of anything, but that does negate the validy or the fact that it is not true across the board 5) Partners who choose monogamy will always be hurt by betrayal. It is not insecurity.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/22 06:54 PM
2

1) so am I not aware of how I feel? 2) I don't know why you refuse to believe couples can be mutually happy.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/22 06:49 PM
3

I can honestly say after 15+ years together that my husband is the only one I desire, and he feels likewise.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/22 06:45 PM
1

I never said there weren't couple who mutually choose that and are happy. But it isn't commitment and it doesn't mean that those in monogamous relationships didn't willingly choose monogamy.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/22 06:42 PM
5

Why do you feel that it is not a mutual decision? Or that a monogamous relationship can not be mutually enjoyable and desirable? So if a man asks for the marriage and wants monogamy, and a woman does too, how is one being forced? The definition of commitment is "a promise to be loyal to someone or something." So no you cannot be committed to your spouse while "occassionally sleeping with others." Not only is this not a commitment, it makes a mockery of wedding vows,, and one could reasonably que…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/22 03:08 PM
10

There are many, many couples who willingly and happily choose monogamy without insecurity. Some of us truly love and are committed to only our spouse and want to build a life together. The idea that relationships become "boring" after so long together is indicative of partners who are no longer putting their all into the relationship. Instead of looking at it as if you could do better, why not make your relationship the best?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/22 02:45 PM
3

I agree with the comment below this one. However I will break this down. 1)Throw the first study out as it is a survey style specifically from dating sites. The results will automatically be skewed because you are looking at a platform where you initially pick a match based solely on appearance. 2) This study showed that preference is again individualized, but that males based mating decisions on facial appearance more than women did. 3) The conclusion of this study said the following: "Humans t…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/22 01:24 PM
7

What studies though? Because if it is survey the test base can skew the results. Attraction is very individualized.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/22 03:58 AM
10

You forgot about the people who aren't shallow. Yes there should be attraction, but not just skin deep. With these standards the relationship will never survive changes in health, aging, etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/22 03:43 AM
1

Yeah GP
/r/PurplePillDebate14/12/22 11:00 PM
2

He has them checked annually, free and total.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/12/22 10:35 PM
11

Idk mine is way higher than my husbands (he has normal testosterone levels)
/r/PurplePillDebate14/12/22 09:59 PM
2

Why the need to try to make men appear better?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/12/22 12:25 PM
2

There are plenty of women who are faithful regardless.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/12/22 01:26 AM
11

I'm I am a woman, so there's that
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/22 10:36 PM
37

I am, but it took a LOT of hard times and work to get where we are now. You cannot have a successful relationship without trust and open communication, and you have to be willing to be real with your partner (even the things you are ashamed of).
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/22 02:15 PM
1

This is taking men and women and putting them in a box of societal expectations. Trust me, plenty of women want sex more than their partner does.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/22 01:30 PM
1

Sex doesn't equal love, but sex within the context of genuine love can absolutely strengthen the bond of the relationship!
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/22 03:55 PM
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