DerekSocal Archive

Upvotes	Title	Category	Author	Subreddit	Date (UTC)
25	Need Exit Velocity		DerekSocal	/r/Divorce_Men	07/09/22 06:20 PM

Upvotes	Comment on	Subreddit	Date (UTC)
1	Should I Stay or Should I Go? Man, this sounds horrible. This is the worst place to be in - just kind of motoring along. I'd rather the marriage be GREAT or the marriage be SHIT, because this middle ground is just where the years fly by and you look up one day and go... fuck. Sounds like she's a cold fish, and you want more. No kids, no issues - recommend you start over and try again.	/r/Divorce_Men	19/09/22 06:51 PM
1	Something I wrote to myself Listen to this guy. You deserve a life just as much as she does. Make sure you have a good therapist and good luck.	/r/Divorce_Men	19/09/22 06:46 PM
2	Some observations on 50/50 after 1 year. I'm so sorry for you guys when there's kids involved, it must make everything so much worse. I'm divorcing at 52, last kid is senior in high school - no custody issues. Nobody tells you when you get married in a rush of adrenaline how fucked up your world will be if you really process what happens if the marriage goes bad. I wish someone had slapped the shit out of me and said "Do NOT get married at 21"	/r/Divorce_Men	19/09/22 06:44 PM
3	Isolation Small bar is a great place to meet friends, just stick to it. Also, a few double Jack and Coke's take the edge off, makes it easier to strike up conversation. Stay with it man. Your life is different now, but there's a whole world out there. I wonder how many of us have the same fucking story - wife pulled us away from our friends. Same thing for me. Pretty soon all of my friends are her friends, or friends through school. Fuck that.	/r/Divorce_Men	19/09/22 06:40 PM
2	Don't know where to start Yes, she's cheating. I don't get the calls to hire a PI though, what difference does it make? Also, I'm sorry this is happening to you - it's horrible. But the only way out is through, and your strength now will be your foundation for your new life.	/r/Divorce_Men	19/09/22 06:35 PM
5	New here, struggling Look man.. guilt, regret - these things will destroy you. You were who you were then, you are who you are now. Take responsibility for your behavior - sounds like it cost you your marriage. But life is LONG, and you have a new chapter ahead - with some hard earned wisdom. You'll get past this - get exercising, stay off the alcohol and week. Take each day one at a time, and in 6 months you will have a new life and a new experience. Good luck!	/r/Divorce_Men	14/09/22 03:47 PM
8	New here, struggling I think you have this one on cut/paste - the answer to everything.	/r/Divorce_Men	14/09/22 03:44 PM
6	Too broke to leave I'm 52 and trying like hell to get out. It's tough. But that regret I hear in both your notes reminds me to be strong and make the jump... You don't often see posts on here talking about how much they regret leaving their loveless marriages...	/r/Divorce_Men	13/09/22 09:23 PM
1	Need Exit Velocity You're in my same situation... My youngest just started her senior year, and in theory I should probably wait until she graduates but I can't imagine living like this another 9 months. Hard decision.	/r/Divorce_Men	12/09/22 11:24 PM
1	Need Exit Velocity Hate may be a bit strong, but you're right on all other counts. She tore me to shreds for 6 months after I told her I wasn't happy, now she's finally coming around and I look at her and realize I've lost ALL enthusiasm. Point taken on the alcohol as well.... I'm hoping it's just a passing phase....	/r/Divorce_Men	12/09/22 09:26 PM
1	Need Exit Velocity Having the conversation AND timing it out so it has the least impact to my 17 year old daughter who just started her Senior Year. Imagine your dad bouncing during your senior year....	/r/Divorce_Men	09/09/22 12:51 AM
3	Need Exit Velocity Yes, have thought long and hard about this. I guess it shows how badly I want it if I'm willing to give up half of everything, and alimony for what will probably be the rest of my life. But what good is the money if you can't enjoy it?	/r/Divorce_Men	09/09/22 12:49 AM
2	Need Exit Velocity Congratulations man, sounds like you've had a journey. It's funny that you mention that you figured out you're gay. I'm not, but I think leaving this traditional marriage so I can finally be myself must be similar to what "coming out" must be. Incredibly difficult to do, but when you're free - my god. I'm happy for you and wish you nothing but good things...	/r/Divorce_Men	09/09/22 12:48 AM
2	Need Exit Velocity I love the "I feel like there's another chapter for me" - that's exactly how I feel.	/r/Divorce_Men	09/09/22 12:45 AM
3	Need Exit Velocity So this is interesting, and is also one of the things that has kept me from pulling the plug. We were both raised conservative christian, and that stigma (and guilt) from not meeting my commitment weighs heavily on me. That being said, I got engaged at 19, married at 21. I had no fucking idea what marriage was, only that my hot blonde girlfriend wouldn't put out and the church said we needed to be married. I grew up - and grew out of the church, but stayed in the marriage to make sure my kids gr…	/r/Divorce_Men	09/09/22 12:44 AM
1	Need Exit Velocity I never thought about just having her served... brutal. But if fear of "the talk" is keeping me from this life I want, then maybe that's the only way to get it done...	/r/Divorce_Men	09/09/22 12:32 AM
1	Need Exit Velocity What stops you from leaving? Do you feel like the window for you leaving has closed? What kept you from pulling the trigger?	/r/Divorce_Men	09/09/22 12:31 AM
1	Need Exit Velocity Yes yes yes!!!! My god, this is my biggest fear. I KNOW I need to go, I just can't get myself to do it. The screaming, yelling, crying, splitting up the shit from the house, having my youngest daughter think I abandoned the family, my god. And yet... if I don't do this, I will regret it the rest of my life. I've got to get this done.	/r/Divorce_Men	09/09/22 12:30 AM
2	Need Exit Velocity That's the thing - I deserve for once to be selfish. I've lived for 30 years supporting her and the kids, but I'm having trouble believing that I deserve to be selfish on this - a big one.	/r/Divorce_Men	09/09/22 12:28 AM
5	Need Exit Velocity OK, so yes - this is what I've done. My wife is extremely religious, I am not. Alcohol was always a big issue in the house, so I started drinking almost every night. I quit going to church, started working the hours I wanted to work instead of what she would "let" me work, and meeting new friends. She is coming around... kind of. She now realizes that she doesn't have the control she used to have, and she's backed off enormously. The problem is... and this is a big one... I'm completely out of l…	/r/Divorce_Men	09/09/22 12:26 AM
3	Need Exit Velocity Oh my god, this is EXACTLY what's happening here. I told her several months ago I wasn't happy, and she did the exact same thing - "I will change! .... Wait... hey... you're the asshole here...." We had about 4 months where she just ripped me over and over and over, but I kept telling myself after 30 years of marriage I had to do my "due diligence". But now the anger is mostly gone, and it's just sadness. I'm just trying to get that moment where I push through with the conversation...	/r/Divorce_Men	08/09/22 01:50 PM
3	Need Exit Velocity I'm going to print this out and tape it to my wall. This is exactly how I imagine it to be on the other side. My biggest problem is that my wife already knows I'm not happy, and she's killing herself trying to keep me - exercise, therapy, sex (where was THAT move for all these years?) - so I see her trying so hard, and all I can think of is "how fast can I get the fuck out of here without destroying her..." I guess the benefit is that she already knows I'm not happy, so it wouldn't be a surprise…	/r/Divorce_Men	08/09/22 01:47 PM