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Descarted1 Archive

View 0 posts and 45 comments by Descarted1 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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2

I regret not buying her out instead of selling and splitting the proceeds even though I was the only one putting in equity. There is no way I can buy a place as nice again as home prices went parabolic afterwards. There was a desire within me just to do a clean cut and move on and leave everything as I really did not need such a big place. She was also dragging it out and guess who was stuck paying during that time? Your situation may differ, just think real carefully.
/r/Divorce_Men11/06/26 07:28 PM
13

My ex was asking for a boob job before she left. It should have been a warning sign for me as I keep hearing these stories. Make it a sticky in the men's handbook.
/r/Divorce_Men01/05/26 04:06 PM
2

Physical abuse!! Disrespect. No kids. I think you already know the answer.
/r/Divorce_Men25/03/26 11:14 PM
5

Working out access to the vehicles during divorce will be a headache. I'd try to avoid it. Have both vehicles appraised and get an accurate valuation. If she keeps the more expensive vehicle in the divorce, you can use that as a leverage point to pay less in other areas of the settlement.
/r/Divorce_Men22/03/26 03:39 AM
3

I felt that my case was fairly straightforward. Most of the documents seemed like basic templates where you just plug in a few details and generate the final version. What was concerning, though, was that my attorney left in portions that appeared to be from a different case and had nothing to do with mine. There were also several spelling errors, which came across as unprofessional, almost as if the documents hadn’t been carefully reviewed. I ended up having to correct them myself. I honestly h…
/r/Divorce_Men24/02/26 06:25 PM
9

There were moments when she appeared clear headed and genuinely reflective, particularly after I walked her through everything step by step in chronological order. When I explained why I responded the way I did based on her behavior toward others and the way she treated me and our child, it seemed to resonate. For a brief time, it felt like she truly understood. Unfortunately, that clarity was short lived. The blame shifting and deflection quickly returned, which led me to conclude that the earl…
/r/Divorce_Men24/02/26 05:48 PM
1

Lawyer up. If she moved into her BFs place, then this can be considered In-kind income and should be imputed into her cost of living which should affect the amount of support you have to pay. Good luck and tell us how it goes getting this modification done. IANAL
/r/Divorce_Men13/01/26 06:50 PM
20

This might sound simplistic, but honestly its when the money runs out or any provisioning that supports her current lifestyle. Also, if she is working at her job and she has that one really bad day that makes her contemplate quitting. Being single again makes that much harder.
/r/Divorce_Men10/11/25 04:22 PM
13

Like others have said, be prepared for the state to open a support case. Its an automatic thing if she applies for any government benefits.
/r/Divorce_Men12/06/25 01:43 PM
12

You don't ask them if they want to see you. You just show up and be in their lives because you are their father.
/r/Divorce_Men24/05/25 06:02 PM
10

We should definitely be working toward legislation to end Title IV D abuse. When he explains it, you realize the courts are incentivized to make your children fatherless. This is evil.
/r/Divorce_Men09/04/25 12:56 PM
2

Consult a lawyer. Its your property, unless you used marital funds to improve the house during the marriage, but its generally not considered a marital asset.
/r/Divorce_Men05/03/25 05:42 PM
11

My ex never had money to help out with the bills or the mortgage. She also didn't want to be a SAHM but her job didn't even put a dent into her own bills as I had to bail her out a couple of times. Dead weight. I'm sure Amazon misses her more than I do. That truck used to pull up to the house every other day.
/r/Divorce_Men05/02/25 03:14 PM
14

She's unhappy now. Thats all that matters.
/r/Divorce_Men31/01/25 03:55 PM
9

I suppose I'd feel like a failure somewhat, as if I didn't teach my daughter better.
/r/Divorce_Men24/01/25 09:10 PM
10

Remember that this is just the first volley in a back and forth negotiation. She can ask for the world. It doesn't mean she will get it.
/r/Divorce_Men12/12/24 04:13 AM
4

You have to work on getting yourself out of the rut. It is something I've resigned myself to deal with because I don't know if it will ever go away. The mind just... works, and these feelings inevitably bubble up from time to time and I auto ruminate. This might not be the sub for this but I had considered attending an ayahuasca retreat or even some ketamine treatment. Call me a control freak, but it terrifies me as I consider myself pretty functional and not at all suicidal. For now I'm content…
/r/Divorce_Men17/11/24 04:40 AM
14

I'm still of the mind that a lot of difficulties in marriages can be worked through and overcome. But, if you fuck another person outside of it, then there is no going back or fixing it. It is over.
/r/Divorce_Men20/10/24 09:27 PM
2

I grew up in the south and the stereotypes can be true with some people, unfortunately. I used to date a girl and her cousin started having relations with her other cousin. She disapproved, but she was so nonchalant about it that it gave me the creeps. It wasn't the reason we broke up, but it certainly didn't help matters. Cousin fuckers. Man, they are definitely out there. Gather your strength because your ex did an illegal thing and you should work to remove your kids from this situation.
/r/Divorce_Men15/09/24 04:30 AM
7

Men with emotional needs have never been attractive to women, despite what they say. They'd sooner tell you that is what your mother is for. I have a young daughter that I pretty much care for all the time. I also have less funds with which to handle it. This was the result of my divorce. Would you be willing to enter a marriage knowing a result like this could be a possible outcome?
/r/Divorce_Men22/08/24 03:54 PM
18

Your in the bargaining stage right now, when the answer is clearly before you. All of what you wrote is like reading a roadmap to many of us. Let me guess, was there a lot of hysterical bonding during your reconciliation? Like others have said- She is cheating. She is cheating. She is cheating. Keep saying that until you believe it.
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/24 01:29 AM
1

How old is the child? I had it done on my 4 year old. Its just a cheek swab and it is in no way invasive. I cant help you with the emotional and legal part as I never had to cross that bridge. I knew my kid was mine, but I "had to know" too. I did this after my divorce was complete, and I contemplated telling my ex I had it done. I just wanted her to know how much trust and love she destroyed in me. In the end, I never did tell her.
/r/Divorce_Men08/07/24 10:46 PM
5

If you've browsed the surviving infidelity sub, the main consensus in this matter is to always tell the other betrayed spouse. The main thought that goes into that conclusion is that they should simply know. Every one I know would want to know. Basically, exposure is the first step to your recovery. Have you mentioned your intention to divorce your wife or is she hoping to rug sweep her affair?
/r/Divorce_Men17/05/24 04:09 PM
5

My ex was angling for this too before our breakup. I should have known. I was still on the hook for paying for her Invisalign, but we had just bought a house at the time. I was happy with her size and I told her all the time. It didn't matter.
/r/Divorce_Men16/03/24 05:05 PM
4

I found out how little I need to keep myself happy. Just be kind to yourself.
/r/Divorce_Men04/10/23 03:22 PM
2

Try to find some social engineering scripts online and use them when you call. Phishing might at least get you an address which can lead to a name. Hide a voice activated recorder behind the dashboard, possibly video as well. Most importantly, multiple GPS devices and A/V recorders hidden around the house and any vehicle, tracking her movements. Do you have access to her phone? This is likely a goldmine of information and if done surreptitiously, an easy way to keep track of her. Don't forget to…
/r/Divorce_Men22/09/23 03:50 PM
47

Tell her you just got out of a "marriage-phase" and its just not who you are anymore and see her reaction.
/r/Divorce_Men06/09/23 06:35 PM
8

Lawyering costs were about $6K. Ex did not want mediation because she "didn't trust me". Division of assets ~$25K plus ~$40K of equity in the house which I paid for. I should have just bought her out since the house basically doubled in value shortly thereafter, and there is no way I can afford a house like that again. There are other cost incidentals obviously I'm not listing but all total, I'd guess $80k. From what I was told though, it could have been even higher as she would legally be entit…
/r/Divorce_Men04/07/23 04:05 PM
1

There must be some kind of evolutionary trick at play for men to be ignoring these red flags in service of continuing humanity.
/r/Divorce_Men30/03/23 02:24 PM
7

When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time. Now, it appears she has moved on and your almost this close to getting it. Trust me when I say this but she is already 3 steps ahead of you. You say you understand business, but then why chase sunk cost? This is what your doing. Consult a lawyer, and start documenting. It could be a clean break or you might be due some alimony if she is the primary breadwinner.
/r/Divorce_Men30/03/22 08:32 PM
21

Even if she wasn't cheating there is so much disrespect and toxic behavior she has for you that your marriage is likely over. And if you have to know, then yes, she is exhibiting all the signs of a cheating spouse. This is exactly how my wife acted before I found out. Everything you listed is the same thing my ex did.
/r/Divorce_Men25/03/22 01:59 AM
4

For some guys here, its a lot like Andy's escape from Shawshank Redemption.
/r/Divorce_Men14/03/22 05:49 PM
1

The mental anguish was indescribable. By the time we got to the "I don't think you ever really loved me?" spoken by her, I was beyond angry, yet in a way I did not want to show her. It feels strange telling people this but my exwife was actually happier in our relationship the more pain she caused me. I will never understand that.
/r/Divorce_Men22/02/22 07:53 PM
1

I've always had the seat down. It is much cleaner. So, instead my ex was only able to scoff at me for not having the lid down. The lid.
/r/Divorce_Men22/02/22 07:37 PM
6

My ex-wife also thought we could reconcile after D-day. She thought wrong, but I live in a state where they require a 1 year separation period before divorce. This is a horrible law, and she tried to take advantage of it. There was some blameshifting on her part which I shut down. I learned of the term DARVO which fit what was happening. She apologized a couple of times through it all, but her heart wasn't in it, and I could never imagine her putting in the work. Now, I just come home to the qui…
/r/Divorce_Men01/02/22 05:33 PM
3

Adultery can certainly affect divorce proceedings. We do not know whether or not OP lives in an at fault state or not, and even no fault states can take it into consideration. Verification can also bring peace of mind. It certainly did in my case, and gave me greater perspective. If anything, it gave me greater resolve.
/r/Divorce_Men18/01/22 05:59 PM
9

I really noticed it after a job change and her meeting someone new over the course of 3 months. Perhaps I was oblivious beforehand. My marriage lasted 7 years. I really do think women can and do fall out of love quickly. I mean they can truly mean it at the exact moment they say they love you. But give it a short time and they can totally shack up with another. Easily I might add, and its like you never existed at all.
/r/Divorce_Men07/01/22 06:30 PM
9

I was told by my lawyer that 50/50 shared legal custody is the norm and granted as de facto. I dont know why men automatically assume they would lose visitation/custody rights of their children. Is there a DV charge on your record? Only you know your wife, but know this- ever since I've been reading men's stories about their separation and divorce, the specter of a false domestic violence charge, does come up from time to time. It apparently does happen, so beware, because the stakes then get ev…
/r/Divorce_Men07/09/21 02:43 PM
3

It does strike me as somewhat weird how quickly guys want to get back into dating and relationships so quickly after a divorce. I actually wonder at times if they can ever be alone. Being emotionally and mentally self reliant is apparently a superpower. To me, you can only work on this reasonably by yourself, alone.
/r/Divorce_Men22/08/21 08:31 PM
3

I hope you win. I hope other men take tips on this. A divorcing couple can structure their divorce in more ways than one if both are agreeable and all agreements are watertight. However OP, I would not want to be financially tied to my ex like this. I know how she was with her finances, and getting calls from any creditor would stress me out even though my obligations were cut.
/r/Divorce_Men22/08/21 04:13 AM
2

After laying out my story to my lawyer, she eyed me up, and told me "well, it sounds like you didn't do anything to deserve that". It made me feel like I was guilty right off the bat, and I had to prove my innocence to her in a sense. It was belittling. I sound like a pussy typing that out now but I felt quite vulnerable at the time. It felt like I had to keep my stbxw happy and my lawyer as well lol. I was going to fire her when she told me to pay my spouse support and also back support for the…
/r/Divorce_Men17/08/21 04:06 PM
1

I asked for 50/50 and wife ended up leaving my child with me most of the time. She only stays with her mother 1 overnight a week now.
/r/Divorce_Men29/07/21 03:31 PM
2

She's more than likely entitled to half the equity of the house. If you want to keep the house you can look into cash out refinancing the balance and run the numbers from there. Need more info.
/r/Divorce_Men04/07/21 09:38 PM
1

What changed to the point that she elicits these emotions from you?
/r/Divorce_Men30/06/21 06:50 PM
1

It is a horrible law but I dont know why it is considered an advantage to filing first. The one year can be somewhat negotiated when drawing up papers. If you both want this to end faster any date on separation can be mutually agreed upon. The date listed on our paperwork really didn't match up but we both signed off on it and I'm pretty sure the courts would not do anything to dispute it. Yes, It would be smart to have agreements already to go, so you do not waste time and money. How agreeable …
/r/Divorce_Men30/06/21 06:43 PM
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