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Desperate-Nectarine Archive

View 1 posts and 93 comments by Desperate-Nectarine on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
1

SEEKING ADVICEDesperate-Nectarine/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/05/20 03:53 PM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
28

I’m ok with the ones who admit that up front. That’s great! Then I can leave them alone. It’s the ones who pretend to want more but actually don’t that are the problem.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/05/20 01:15 AM
13

My ex ran over my tomato plant with the lawnmower and then ridiculed me when I got upset about it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/20 05:02 PM
64

I don’t go out for drinks with anyone I barely know. For them to even ask just shows how much men take their safety for granted and also don’t care about women’s safety at all, trying to get us drunk around them when we barely know them. For me, getting drunk is dangerous because people use it as an opportunity to take advantage of me. Most men have no idea what that’s like and never will.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/05/20 10:24 AM
93

They’re just giving you a bunch of compliments because they can and it costs them nothing. They’re trying to butter you up so they can get something from you (sex). It’s very insincere and they probably do it to every woman they come across until they find one who is insecure enough to be impressed by it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/05/20 10:19 AM
8

Yeah, I understand what you’re saying. Having your own hobbies is great for this. It will occupy your mind with something other than him. When you do hang out, you’ll have more interesting things to talk about because you’ll be doing interesting things without him. It works better if you can get involved with other people too, like friend groups that revolve around your hobbies, but that’s not really possible right now because of quarantine. Just pick something you think is interesting and try i…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/20 04:09 PM
10

I don’t think women should propose to men, but we should definitely expect them to propose within a reasonable timeframe and if they don’t, we should leave. Don’t be a forever girlfriend.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/20 04:05 PM
16

It can be that way sometimes. This guy who used to be my best friend and is in a super toxic relationship for the past 12 years, ALL his posts are about his boyfriend and they always comment and like each other’s stuff. It’s because he’s pushed all his other friends away because he won’t go anywhere without the bf and the bf is a huge pain in the ass. So maybe if someone has an abusive boyfriend and ends up isolated because of it, all their posts are about the relationship because that’s literal…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/20 04:01 PM
14

Find some solo hobbies. Maybe a musical instrument or some kind of art, or just doing yoga videos on YouTube, or get a bike and go for bike rides if you live somewhere that is bikeable. Something you can do that’s quarantine-friendly that totally doesn’t involve him at all.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/20 03:55 PM
25

Casual sex is an oxymoron. Sex, by it’s very nature, is not casual. It’s the most intimate thing you can do with another person.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/20 11:36 AM
19

Ugh this guy is a nightmare. I can’t even imagine what it’s like to marry someone and have four kids with him and then be treated the way this guy treats his wife. That’s why Im so reluctant to have kids. I read stories like this and it’s terrifying. So many guys think their job ends after they provide the sperm, and that women love taking care of babies so they’re actually doing you a favor by getting you pregnant and then letting you do all the parenting.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/20 10:48 AM
5

I’m 32. I date guys from 28-32. Maybe as low as 26.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/20 10:27 AM
20

All of the worst, most aggressive drivers are men. The ones who speed and tailgate and act like they’re going to run you over because you happened to be in their way. It’s ALWAYS men doing this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/20 10:19 AM
20

Yeah. People post stuff like, “Fat women aren’t attractive,” and, “I think tattoos are ok on men but on women they are trashy,” and, “Single moms shouldn’t date.” Or whatever other brilliant ideas pop into their heads that they feel the need to share with the world. It’s like they think women’s only reason for existing is to try to please them. Like if I had an opinion about a total stranger’s appearance, I wouldn’t assume that anyone gave a crap about my opinion because why would they? But thes…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/20 10:16 AM
209

It always seems to make guys mad when I tell them I only date younger and I’m only interested in marrying someone younger. It’s like they all have this fantasy that they’re going to be fuckboys until they’re like 35-40 then find someone 5-10 years younger to marry them and have their babies. They get upset when confronted with the reality that attractive late 20s/early 30s women with options don’t want their old ass. It’s always the guys who are in their early 30s and talk about wanting to settl…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/20 01:07 AM
16

I mean he has six kids with six different women so even if he did have a lot of money most of that is going to child support
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/20 12:25 AM
30

No he didn’t call her. He called me mom. As in he would call me and be like “hey mom can you pick me up some Oreos from the store?”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/20 12:08 AM
107

I wonder if she gets to spend an hour a day playing video games too
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/20 09:31 PM
31

Yeah this is completely ridiculous. What is this idea that men aren’t responsible for the burden of cleaning up after themselves? If they aren’t, then whose responsibility is it? Even children can do things like vacuum and do their own laundry, so why would a grown adult not be expected to do these things?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/20 08:15 PM
15

The only thing you can do is leave as soon as they show their true colors. You get better at screening for red flags. It’s not that you attracted a certain type of guy. They try this shit on everyone they meet until they find one who’s willing to stick around and put up with it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/20 07:58 PM
77

My ex could cook but expected me to do it because he was too important. Or if I wasn’t there he would cook and then not clean up after it and leave dirty pots on the stove literally until mold grew waiting for me to come clean up after him. He also had a cleaning lady that he fired when we moved in together and then told me it was my job to keep the house clean. Also before me he would take his laundry to wash dry and fold but once we got together he expected me to do that service for him. He al…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/20 07:56 PM
46

A guy who really loves you will be able to listen to you talk for hours, and he’ll be totally present while doing so. Not on his phone, or playing video games, or keep interrupting you, or just nodding and pretending to listen. That’s how I knew I wanted to be with my fiancé. Because of how easy he was to talk to and how much I felt valued by him. I felt like I didn’t have to do anything to impress him except be myself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/20 07:41 PM
44

The worst part about it is that it hasn’t affected their self esteem at all. They still think they are God’s gift to women and deserve to date a supermodel, and not put any effort into the relationship.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/20 06:35 PM
9

Once I went to my bf’s house and he started playing video games so I asked him why he invited me over, and then I left.. Why would you stay?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/20 06:17 PM
4

What do you want out of this relationship? If what you want is to be led on, constantly feel off balance and like you need to work and earn this man’s commitment, which he will never give you, then go right ahead and keep doing what you’re doing. But if you want commitment, marriage, stability, a future, to feel secure and loved, this guy cannot give you those things and never will. If a guy is going to give you a secure commitment, he will do that from the start. There’s no waiting for it to tu…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/20 05:39 PM
100

Leave him!! You can do it. I believe in you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/20 05:34 PM
10

He couldn’t find someone he’s never had sex with to cook for him? Really the worst part of this is that he tried hiding it from his wife. My fiancé is thinking of getting a tattoo, and his ex is a tattoo artist. She’s really good, I’ve seen pictures of her work. So, he came to me and asked me how I would feel about it. Because he cares about me and wouldn’t want to do something that would hurt my feelings. He didn’t just go do it and then act all surprised when I found out and got mad.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/20 10:16 PM
13

The worst is the guys who say they’re 5’8” but actually are 5’5”. I’m 5’6”. Then you get to the date and it’s just awkward.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/20 10:13 PM
1

You can’t make him want to commit. You can leave and find someone who does want that though, which is what you should do
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/01/20 01:46 AM
54

Why the hell would she want her father in law IN the delivery room? I wouldn’t even want my own father there much less someone else’s. I can’t believe she’s even entertaining this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/01/20 01:08 AM
2

I would date a guy like that but I’d definitely make it clear I’m looking for marriage, and then if two years go by and no ring I’m out. But a guy who had no prior LTR I’d wonder about his ability to even be in a relationship. If he didn’t easily do all the things I’d expect a boyfriend to do, I’d be out.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/01/20 05:46 PM
9

I can see how this might be a red flag, but also, would you consider it a red flag if a guy’s past relationship was with a forever girlfriend who lived with him for 4 years and he never married her?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/01/20 02:38 PM
54

I’m 32 and my fiancé is 29. The last several guys I got involved with were all under 30. There is no way in hell I would even consider someone in his 50s! They do approach me, and it’s so disgusting, because they’re old enough to be my dad. Also they have beer bellies and their dicks probably don’t even work so really what would they do with me if they got me? It’s so, so awkward when older men hit on me in public. Delusional older men are so cringe.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/01/20 02:48 AM
7

This is a sign that he’s trash. The thing is that no matter what you look like, if someone is looking for flaws they will find them. I had a shitty ex once who would insult me saying my breasts were too small. Then if he saw a woman with large breasts he would say, she has nice tits but she’s kind of fat. Or a thin woman with large breasts and he’d say how much he hates implants. Literally no matter what your body type was, there was some insult. Like he had some impossible standard and no woman…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/20 06:09 PM
16

Idk about internalized misogyny but my mom (who is 68) is very sexist and always has been. Also she always had a chip on her shoulder over not being married. She got pregnant with my oldest brother when she was like 19 or 20 and the dad was never involved, and then after that she basically believed she was trash because she was a single mom. Then when my brother was a teenager, she had another son and then me right after, and my dad wouldn’t marry her even though they’d been together for like ei…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/20 05:28 PM
13

I don’t think that it is. I don’t find domestic work to be inherently degrading in any way, and I enjoy cooking and cleaning. I find it honestly more degrading to punch a clock for some corporation, but that’s what I do because I have to to survive. I would love to be a housewife, and have my only responsibilities be keeping my house clean and cooking food. The problem here is that she wants the guy to also control the finances. That’s not the kind of thing anyone should submit to. She should be…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/01/20 06:53 PM
39

Ugh I just went to r/seduction and looked around and it’s honestly disgusting and makes me never want to talk to guys again. It’s like they don’t see women as people.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/01/20 06:17 AM
2

I like cooking though. And cleaning. I was going to do all that anyway. I think, while dating, as long as a guy is taking you out and/or cooking for you at least twice as often as you’re cooking for him, it’s fine. When I’m married I plan on cooking and cleaning more than he does, because he’s going to pay for everything. We’ve talked about this. He hates doing housework. I hate punching a clock. My ideal situation is to be like a 50s housewife. Even when I was a kid my parents or whoever would …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/01/20 05:50 PM
12

This is true- most men have little to offer other than money, and some don’t even have that. I’m fully aware that men don’t contribute equally to housework and childcare, and you can’t make them, so really the only way it makes sense to marry is if the guy can take care of everything financially. But, it’s a pretty rare guy who can do that without becoming drunk on power and use your dependence on him to take advantage of you or control you. It’s honestly not worth the risk in most cases. And th…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/01/20 02:51 PM
30

This reminds me of a guy I matched with a year or two ago. His pictures were all 4 or 5 years old and he seemed pretty normal, but then I met him and he was hard to even talk to, couldn’t speak in complete sentences. You could tell he had done a lot of drugs and his brain just didn’t seem to work right anymore. So we had one date which ended up being our last, then a couple weeks later he sends me a link to his gofundme because he can’t afford his rent next month because he lost some job he had …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/01/20 10:35 PM
6

They will wait, and tell you all kinds of things then change their mind when it’s time to actually deliver on any of it. This probably sounds bad but my conclusion is to not get too attached until the guy actually marries you. I’m engaged right now, we have a date set and he bought our wedding rings already but still there’s a part of me that doesn’t actually believe we’re getting married. I’ve been engaged before, but I’ve never been married, so I’m fully aware of the possibility that he may ha…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/01/20 02:57 PM
1

Yeah, I don't necessarily agree with everything everyone over there says. I think it's pretty unrealistic to expect a guy to shower you with gifts and expensive dates for months with no commitment or intimacy on your end. I'm trying to imagine the kind of guy who would go along with that, and it's difficult. But I also think it's reasonable to want to get to know someone well before committing to sex or a relationship with them, so I think a guy should at least be willing to invest an extended a…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/20 03:33 PM
2

"It's not worth debating about." Then why are you debating about it? Obviously we disagree. But I'm not over here telling you, "just don't keep going around disagreeing with (whatever)." My opinion is just as valid as yours. You may want to rethink how you talk to people, because it's pretty disrespectful.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/01/20 03:23 PM
-1

I disagree completely. I think it’s important to say what you want, but also, actually require that standard. Say that you want a relationship, and then don’t have sex until he’s been dating you for months, introduced you to friends and family, and really invested in you. For months. Yeah if you say you want a relationship and then sleep with him on the second date because he said he wanted one too, that may not work out well, but if you actually require him to prove himself worthy and capable o…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/01/20 01:58 PM
13

They don’t want those women. It’s kind of like kleptomaniacs who steal stuff they could just buy, like a $2 candy, but they steal it instead because they want to get away with something.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/01/20 01:52 PM
71

I won’t date older. I wasted my 20s dating older men thinking they were more mature and would be ready to settle down sooner. In reality they were dating me for the opposite reason, because I was still young and had time to waste.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/01/20 01:49 PM
2

I don’t think the guy should be spending money on me before we’re in a relationship. We should take turns paying if we aren’t in a relationship and are just getting to know each other. Especially since it seems like if a guy spends money on you then he’ll expect sex soon. I don’t want to feel pressured like that. My fiancé and I dated for seven months before we ever had sex or decided to be in a relationship. Our dates were either free or we took turns paying or paid for ourselves. Now that we’r…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/20 11:58 AM
3

It’s because guys are willing to have sex with a lot more women than they’re willing to have a relationship with, and I don’t want to have sex with them before they know me well enough to know if they want a relationship or not. It seems to take guys a couple months to figure that out, and in the meantime I don’t want to be having sex with them because I’ll get too attached. Also a lot of guys will pretend they don’t know, even though they really do, but if you resist that push to have sex super…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/20 02:44 AM
1

“I mean both strategies basically hail from old days, "make him wait for it" and the other is "keep his balls drained and stomach full".” Those are both good strategies. You use one, then the other. Just being the best lay of a guys life gets you nothing. I know from experience. Guys don’t want the best lay of their life. They want a challenge. They want to feel like they got lucky and won something that they don’t actually deserve.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/20 08:27 PM
2

Lots of really shitty things can happen if you have sex too soon. That’s the point I was trying to make. None of that has anything to do with taboos or cultural norms. It’s about minimizing risk.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/20 08:25 PM
1

A guy can’t commit to a woman who wants him more than he wants her. It makes him feel like he can do better. The best thing is find a guy who you really do want, and are attracted to, but hide this from him as much as you can because then he’ll feel lucky to have you, and like he had to work to earn your affection. Even though in reality you just wanted him because he’s hot. It’s ok to feel this “raw desire” you’re talking about but you can’t let the guy see it or he’ll feel like he’s too good f…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/20 07:52 PM
6

How would a guy even know how long other guys waited to have sex with me anyway? To straight up ask that would be tacky as hell and I think most guys would know better.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/20 07:16 PM
4

No it’s not. If I had 15 guys before and didn’t make any of them wait, and they all used me and threw me away like trash, then why the hell would I want to give you a chance to do the same thing? Maybe before, I was naive and I believed that being sexually open could lead to a commitment and happy relationship, but now I know from experience that it does not, and I know better than to easily get attached to someone before they show me that they’re really into me. It’s not about you, or whether y…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/20 06:34 PM
2

It’s OK that he’s banging other girls on the side. I’d rather be the one he’s pining for/ trying to impress rather than one of the ones he’s banging on the side but who means nothing to him and will never get his commitment.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/20 06:26 PM
3

I agree with this. I don’t think a guy should pay for everything if you’re just getting to know each other and aren’t exclusive or in a relationship. But I do think it’s best to spend an extended period of time getting to know each other before a relationship/commitment/sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/20 06:24 PM
6

What ridiculous logic is this? Just because you made a mistake in the past and learned the hard way why you should wait for sex means that literally any guy who buys you a cheeseburger is owed full access to your body? Nope.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/20 06:10 PM
4

Three months is not a long time. At three months, do you know someone well enough to move in together? To raise a child together? To introduce to your family? Even to go on a two week vacation together overseas? I’d say no to all that, so why would you know them well enough to want to put their body parts inside of yours? To show them all the parts of you that normally no one gets to see? To expose yourself to any disease they might have, and to the possibility of them impregnating you? Sex isn’…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/20 06:06 PM
3

This is ok. I’d rather be the one he’s waiting for than one of the ones he used and threw away in the meantime.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/20 05:54 PM
7

u/boomcheese44 is right. My personal experience confirms that waiting to have sex is the way to get commitment from a man, and also to avoid being used by men who never would have committed. Lots of guys will be willing to hang around and waste your time if you’re giving them sex. But if sex is off the table, the only guys who still stay and invest in a relationship with you are the ones who see potential for something real. I used to follow crap advice like what’s being given in this thread, an…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/20 05:45 PM
13

Ugh when guys talk about women and their “tingles..”. Like wtf are we supposed to do, get with someone who doesn’t turn us on and then end up in a sexless relationship? Sexual chemistry should be a requirement for a relationship. It’s a totally reasonable one. I think what they want is for us to be with guys who don’t turn us on, but we should have sex with them anyway because it’s our responsibility as women to serve them. Never mind that for most women, having sex when you aren’t turned on is …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/01/20 05:03 PM
14

While that would be great for the woman, most men are incapable of the kind of selflessness needed to take care of kids properly, and honestly can’t even take care of themselves, so I’d feel bad for the kids in that situation.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/01/20 04:58 PM
7

Yeah it’s hard but once you’ve been hurt so many times by guys who pretended to like you then turned out to just want to use your body, it gets easier to say no because you’re honestly terrified of getting hurt like that again. That’s been my experience anyway.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/01/20 04:50 PM
39

I met my fiancé on tinder. It’s possible. I think even guys who are open to a relationship are mostly also open to casual sex, and that’s the problem. For men, the pool of women they’d have casual sex with is much larger than the pool of women they’d have a relationship with, while for women it’s the opposite. So a woman meets a guy, thinks he’s someone she’d like to date and potentially get serious with, and although he doesn’t see that kind of potential in her, he’s perfectly happy to have sex…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/01/20 03:09 PM
8

It’s not that they are pining after having children. They are terrified of that responsibility and the work that comes along with it, and also the commitment and the way that you lose out on other options when you have children. Anyone who really wanted kids would have done it by 35. What these guys have is a fear of losing the OPTION of having children. They can’t make up their minds, have no conviction, don’t know what they want, and they would like to be able to put off making a decision pret…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/01/20 02:31 PM
19

Why not find a guy who gives you good sex and also commitment and love? Why settle for less?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/01/20 07:47 PM
0

Guys like that tend to lovebomb though. As long as you’re on the lookout for those red flags you should be okay. If a guy says he wants a relationship and then starts planning your wedding and naming your future kids all on the first date then you should run obviously. You want a guy who is open to marriage but also is willing to casually date you for an extended period of time with no sex and no exclusivity. That way you both can decide if you’re really compatible without any pressure. Or you c…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/01/20 03:48 PM
7

I ever were single again and looking for a partner, I absolutely would ask men what they’re looking for right off the bat. I’m not interested in casual. I want a guy who isn’t afraid to get close to me, to fall in love with me, to marry me. Clowns like the guy in the op aren’t capable of such things, and it’s helpful to know that as soon as possible so I don’t waste my time on them. I don’t find the op to be confrontational at all. She’s just being honest and true to what she wants. Most guys th…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/01/20 02:14 PM
33

Sometimes people pretend to try to help but they’re really just trying to demonstrate a level of incompetence that will scare you from ever asking for their help again.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/01/20 11:51 AM
13

I don’t like this, because I’d rather just clean up while I’m waiting around for stuff to cook. I clean as I go, so there isn’t really a mess left and it takes less time. If he cleans after I cook, then I’d be expected to clean after he cooks, and that’s unfair because I make way less of a mess. I’m not sure what the solution is, but “I cook, you clean” just doesn’t really work for me. I think my favorite way to do it is we both cook and clean together, or he hangs out in the kitchen while I’m c…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/01/20 04:03 PM
6

They’re insecure. That’s all it is. They’re afraid that you’ll be disappointed with their performance in bed, because you’ve likely had better.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/01/20 03:36 PM
6

Let’s be real here. He probably didn’t want a wife or kids when he was younger because it was too much responsibility and he was too busy “doing him” and enjoying life. Now that his best years are behind him and he has no one to be there for him in his old age, he’s trying to get married and have kids. Basically he’s had his cake but would now like to eat it too. He made his bed here. I don’t feel sorry for him at all. Honestly even if a guy waits until 38 to start looking for a wife/mother for …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/01/20 03:31 PM
2

I hope he at least has good life insurance
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/01/20 03:24 PM
5

I’m not saying you should give everyone a chance. I’m saying some people prefer short guys. I’m not settling for a short guy if I’m dating one, it’s because I have a height range that I prefer. I’m tired of this assumption that taller automatically means higher quality somehow. Some of us do not like tall men. 5’11” is the absolute max height I’d be willing to date, but I prefer 5’9” or under. I don’t have low standards. My standards are just different than yours. I get what you’re saying and I …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/01/20 08:24 PM
6

This is so hypocritical. You’re literally shaming women for wanting to date shorter men or men around their own height. Some of us actually like short guys. There’s nothing wrong with it. I’m not going to shame anyone for their height preference but really if I’m 5’6” and want to date a guy who is also 5’6”, leave me alone about it. That doesn’t make me a “pickmeisha.” I want what I want. Taller doesn’t automatically mean better. Short guys can be attractive too. Also it’s more comfortable, not …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/01/20 04:33 AM
1

I agree about some of this, but I won’t live together without marriage. The risks aren’t worth it, and I can get to know someone just fine while maintaining separate living spaces.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/01/20 04:11 AM
8

It’s true. When guys say they aren’t having luck on dating apps, it’s because their standards are way too high. I had a guy friend show me his tinder once and he literally only swiped right on profiles that looked fake because the women looked like models and had professional photos. Also they were all 5+ years younger than he was. He was like, “why am I not getting any messages?”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/01/20 04:04 AM
1

Nope, actually not me. My ex did do something similar though where he posted on reddit a really one sided account of our relationship and then showed me all the comments saying that I was a piece of shit. We stayed together a while afterward but after I finally left him, over 2 years ago, he still to this day texts me and calls me asking me to come back and saying how I was the love of his life and he misses me so much. He actually texted me a couple weeks ago randomly just to ask me if he ever …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/01/20 07:27 PM
1

I think maybe I was the gf in this situation. I kind of remember my ex doing some shit like this once.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/01/20 05:17 PM
7

It’s so ridiculous how men expect women to do all the traditionally female work like taking on the lions share of housework, cooking and childcare, but then also expect us to contribute financially. No wonder women don’t want to have kids. If I marry a guy, we move in together, and he gets to enjoy the benefits of my domestic talents, it’s entirely unreasonable for him to also expect me to pay for it. I’ve tried the other way too where I lived with a guy and didn’t clean after him or cook for hi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/01/20 05:15 PM
34

For a FWB, it’s all about looks and how good he is in bed. Money means nothing, because as a guy’s FWB, you have zero expectation that he buys you anything. It would be like thinking that a physics degree qualifies you to join a dance troupe or something. It’s just completely irrelevant. I tried to explain this to a guy once, because he was complaining he couldn’t get a FWB despite having a good job and owning a house. Those aren’t FWB qualifiers. Those are husband qualifiers. Your money means n…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/01/20 03:56 PM
16

Not first date though. Maybe third or fifth date.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/01/20 03:46 PM
114

My fiancé waited 7 months. The thing is- he actually liked me. Even if we had never had sex, he just really enjoyed my company and we would have kept hanging out indefinitely. No guy is going to wait six months to sleep with someone he doesn’t actually feel a connection with, and that is the point. Sometimes guys only want low effort, easy sex, and if you don’t give it to them, they move on, which is what you want. You want to weed out the guys who only like you enough to hang out if they’re als…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/01/20 03:31 PM
11

Make a list of all the shitty things he’s done and read it every time you think about him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/01/20 12:58 AM
3

I have male friends. We see each other multiple times per week. They don’t ever try to have sex with me. The special circumstance is that we’re musicians. They’re guitarists and I’m their drummer. It would be sort of like incest if anything ever happened between us. Also maybe we aren’t really friends because if one of us decided to stop playing music we wouldn’t still hang out. Our relationship is purely musical. Or sort of like coworkers who you’re friendly with but you know that if you didn’t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/01/20 12:46 AM
8

If he really were interested in a relationship with you, he would avoid being so overtly sexual in fear that it may push you away or ruin his chances with you. The fact that he doesn’t seem to care about this indicates that his only goal here is sex.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/01/20 11:05 PM
4

That’s awesome. I didn’t say there aren’t female engineers. Just that it’s a very male dominated field.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/01/20 06:46 PM
3

As someone who has cohabitated before with the assumption that it would lead to marriage (spoiler alert: it didn’t), I really advise against it. Here is an article that talks about the negative effects of unmarried cohabitation on a relationship, and the fact that there aren’t really any benefits to it. Unmarried cohabitation is great for men. They can get all the benefits of marriage without any of the risks. For women it’s the opposite. Most guys, if you live together, will let you take on mos…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/01/20 04:53 PM
22

For a certain type of woman, they can be a great choice. I’ve dated two of them, am engaged to one, and know a few others who are happily married and from what I can tell, they are pretty good husbands. They really like smart women. Where I’ve had other guys feel threatened or intimidated by my intelligence and feel the need to try to compete or outdo me, none of the engineers I’ve known have done that, but instead just appreciated it about me and enjoyed having someone smart to talk to. I know …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/01/20 03:57 PM
32

Doctors for sure. Maybe there are some good ones but in general they won’t make time for you, think their time is more valuable than yours, think they’re smarter than you, and have infinite built in alibis if they do decide to cheat on you because they work such long and erratic hours. If I’m looking to date, I prefer engineers or some kind of trade like carpenter, electrician or plumber, or even a car mechanic.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/01/20 02:15 PM
2

If I were you, I would wait to have sex until a commitment is established. You can tell him this too. Tell him you’re looking for something serious, and that you want to really get to know him well before having sex with him. If he’s interested in you as a potential life partner, this won’t deter him. If it does deter him then you know he was just a waste of time anyway. It worked for me with my fiancé. On our first date I told him exactly those words. We hung out and went on dates for 7 months …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/01/20 02:02 PM
67

If you want to be a wife, never be a forever girlfriend. Don’t get into this trap where you move in with a guy and try to earn your way into a marriage with him by being the perfect bangmaid. If a guy asks you to move in while unmarried, tell him he has to marry you first. Make it clear that your goal is marriage, and that you expect it within a certain timeframe. If he doesn’t marry you within a year or two he’s not going to. When you know, you know, and if it’s been long enough and he’s still …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/01/20 01:37 PM
8

As someone with some experience, let me tell you what I’ve learned. Being beautiful doesn’t get you much. It won’t guarantee that men treat you well. It may make them want to be with you but that’s it. You’ll still attract mostly assholes, but in a way it’s even worse because you will attract guys who are literally ONLY interested in you for your looks, but they’ll try to hide it. The thing that gets you treated well is your ability to respect yourself and to set boundaries. Your ability to weed…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/01/20 08:21 PM
14

I get wanting someone debt free, i think most would agree that’s universally preferred over someone with debt. Virgins, though.. most guys are not looking to settle down until their 30s, and most of them want someone around their same age, so it would be a bit weird if a woman were 28 or older and still a virgin. Maybe it happens but not frequently enough for that to be a realistic mate selection criteria. And the tattoos thing is just a matter of preference. Some guys really prefer tattooed wom…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/01/20 08:04 PM
13

I’m familiar with this line of thinking. Some guys (I suppose there are women who would employ this strategy also but here I’m speaking of men who do it) like to withhold things in the relationship to keep the power imbalance in their favor. They think if they give you what you want, they’ll no longer be able to extract more from you than what they give you because you’ll have no reason to feel you have to prove yourself to them. They want to keep you off ease, uncomfortable and always hoping th…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/01/20 07:42 PM
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