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DetteBavis Archive

View 2 posts and 66 comments by DetteBavis on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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8

Essie Gel Couture (with the dedicated top coat) is the only nail polish that lasts on my nails. And even then I have to trim the top bit when the tip starts to show wear. Keeping your hands moisturized (especially your cuticles) also helps your nails from drying out and becoming brittle. For feet, l slather lotion on and put on a pair of socks overnight.
/r/RedPillWomen02/03/20 03:10 AM
9

It's totally normal to need time to yourself. My husband and I lived in a studio apartment for the first four years of our marriage and perfected the art of being "alone" together. Where we were in the same room, but we're on our own laptops, doing our own thing, just enjoying time alone. Mental solitude can be just as restorative when physical solitude isn't an option.
/r/RedPillWomen02/03/20 02:56 AM
1

There are different types of sexy. Marilyn Monroe sexy is VERY different than femme fatale sexy. It's always best to find what suits you, rather than try to do something that doesn't feel natural. Start paying attention to when your guy is most turned on by you and lean into that.
/r/RedPillWomen29/01/20 01:59 AM
3

I suppose it depends on how you use ovulation strips. Do you use one every single day of your cycle, even after your fertile window? An advantage of charting temps every day is that you can track patterns beyond ovulation. For example, if your luteal phase is too short for implantation to occur or if you actually have gotten pregnant, but miscarried early on and mistook it for a period.
/r/RedPillWomen29/01/20 01:45 AM
3

To add some positivity to this thread, waiting until marriage was the right choice for my husband and I and we have a wonderful sex life! There are a millions ways to know if you have sexual chemistry beforehand because there are millions of ways to be intimate with a partner that don't involve penetration. People often talk about their first time being awkward and I just can't relate to it at all. The day of our wedding was pure joy that culminated in a brand new experience for both of us. It w…
/r/RedPillWomen12/01/20 05:24 AM
5

Couldn't agree more. My husband and I chose to wait until marriage, but we were intimate in just about every other way while we were dating. Its not like you go from zero to a hundred when you choose to wait, there is a whole spectrum to experiment with that will reveal if you have chemistry or not.
/r/RedPillWomen12/01/20 05:12 AM
16

Exactly this. Really channel that Coco Chanel "I don't care what you think about me, I don't think about you at all" energy
/r/RedPillWomen24/12/19 06:25 AM
62

Of course marriage and motherhood can be a goal! Marriages and families don't just materialize out of thin air, they absolutely must be worked towards. To think otherwise is just silly. That said, I personally think it is always wise to find a career, even if your ultimate goal is to stay at home. You will need to be able to support yourself until staying at home is a viable financial option, and it is always wise to have a means to make money should you ever need to support you and your childre…
/r/RedPillWomen24/12/19 06:20 AM
16

When guys prefer a more casual look, it's likely because they associate being "done up" with being high maintenance and stuffy. This is a huge turn off to some men and a huge turn on to others. It sounds like your guy belongs in the first category (as does mine). There is something magnetic about being effortless and breezy; it allows for an ease of being that men really respond to if you do it right. My best advice is to still do your makeup and hair everyday, but keep it natural. French girl w…
/r/RedPillWomen23/12/19 04:35 PM
3

Pasta of all kinds.
/r/RedPillWomen23/12/19 04:19 AM
1

Here is the blog post on Gamines if you're interested! https://www.truth-is-beauty.com/9794-gamine-style-type.html
/r/RedPillWomen22/12/19 02:29 AM
8

I love my mom, but I often feel that Martha Stewart taught me more about homemaking than my own mom did. There are actually a lot of authors that I look up to as mother figures. Laura Doyle taught me to be a good wife, but Jennifer L Scott taught me to be feminine. Shauna Niequist taught me to cherish what's important in life. Find your author-moms and let them teach you what your own mother could not <3
/r/RedPillWomen21/12/19 11:52 PM
9

It sounds like you have a "Dramatic" or "Natural" Kibbe type. My best advice would be to embrace your body shape and learn how to adapt styles to make them work for you. Trying to dress for a body shape that you don't have will just look off. https://www.truth-is-beauty.com/blog is a FANTASTIC resource on what styles work best for each type.
/r/RedPillWomen21/12/19 11:46 PM
4

Feminine dressing isn't about wearing certain colors instead of others, it's about wearing the colors that make you look the most beautiful. Don't feel like you can only wear pink! In the right colors you will be striking, healthy, and vibrant. THAT is what truly makes you feminine :) And since you asked, I'm a Soft Summer!
/r/RedPillWomen17/12/19 12:47 AM
1

Clutter happens when an item has not been put back in it's place or never had a place to begin with. The easiest way to make sure a home stays clutter free is to have less stuff, and find a specific home for the stuff you do have.
/r/RedPillWomen06/12/19 12:49 AM
2

I have this little mind trick that helps me when my imagination gets out of control: I think about how every truly bad thing that has ever happened to me has been a complete surprise. I didn't see it coming at all. So the fact that I'm worrying about this or that is a pretty good indicator that it won't happen because the Universe doesn't tend to take my ideas when throwing me curve balls. It comes up with new ones. You can try to talk yourself into not worrying, but sometimes it's better to acc…
/r/RedPillWomen06/12/19 12:43 AM
3

Ah okay, that helps! I agree with the other commenters: it's easiest to get a job right out of school because you will be competing with other recent grads for all the entry level jobs. I would say either go to school and get a few years of job experience under your belt, OR have your babies and go to school later. I wouldn't recommend going to school and sitting on your degree while you have kids.
/r/RedPillWomen06/12/19 12:28 AM
4

Truthfully, there are pros and cons to doing both, but starting a career from scratch in your mid 30s is very difficult. You will be competing for entry level jobs against college grads who will work insane hours (because they don't have families or outside obligations) for next to nothing salary wise. That said, getting pregnant in your mid 30's is much more difficult that getting pregnant at 25. It really is a trade off. What type of a career do you have already? At 25, most people who start w…
/r/RedPillWomen06/12/19 12:06 AM
43

That's wonderful news! Congratulations!
/r/RedPillWomen11/11/19 11:27 PM
4

In the same way you are the average of the five people you spend the most time around, the way you think can be shaped by the content you consume online. Who you follow on Twitter, the subreddits you spend your time on, and the YouTube channels you watch. Sometimes the best way to learn something new is to absorb it through osmosis.
/r/RedPillWomen27/10/19 02:07 AM
15

You can do it! A piece of advice that has always helped me is to do the next right thing. Don't look one month into the future, don't even look one day in the future. Just look at your next decision, what would the girl I am trying to become do? And do the next right thing. One by one, you'll get where you need to be.
/r/RedPillWomen20/10/19 09:01 PM
17

The most important part of keeping a clean home is that everything has a place, and is returned to it's place at the end of the day. Don't put it down, put it away. If you can train yourself to do this, you'll make life so much easier. To add to that, it's way easier to maintain a clean home than it is to deal with a huge mess that has accumulated over time. Deal with problems when they are small.
/r/RedPillWomen18/10/19 01:42 AM
1

Ultimately, whether porn is okay or not in a marriage is between the husband and wife participating in said marriage. I have a hard time picturing a healthy marriage where heavy porn use is utilized, but hey...there are all kinds of people. What's important is that there is agreement between both parties and that the agreement is respected always.
/r/RedPillWomen15/10/19 01:18 AM
1

I would probably redecorate and add in more masculine elements that the two of you pick out together.
/r/RedPillWomen13/10/19 04:34 AM
2

I've worked in several offices throughout various jobs and internships, some male dominated and some female dominated. In my experience, male dominated offices have more politics and female dominated offices have more cattiness. To do well in a female dominated office, don't threaten the status quo and always play by the rules. If you piss off the wrong person the whole group will turn on you. If you get accepted into the group by playing your cards right early on in the game, life will be easy.
/r/RedPillWomen09/10/19 09:33 PM
21

At RPW, we prize being kind and approachable, but when safety is on the line that all goes out the window. Walk with purpose straight into the store and back out to your car, don't make eye contact or acknowledge anyone you are suspicious of. Definitely don't talk to them. Don't be afraid of appearing rude, what these men are doing is completely inappropriate. Just get in, get out, and act confident even if you have to fake it.
/r/RedPillWomen06/10/19 12:58 AM
5

There is a certain amount of confidence and self assuredness that no amount of external reassurance can give you. No relationship will ever be able fufill that need. It sounds like you need to do some inner work and build confidence and are looking for it in the wrong place!
/r/RedPillWomen02/10/19 11:21 PM
5

To echo a lot of ladies here, you will just have to let him fail. Will it be hard to not intervene? Yes. Will it be painful to refrain from saying "I told you so"? Absolutely. But in time, he will learn. If he is competent outside the home, it's most likely that the reason he is incompetent in the home is you. Dont treat him like a child, and he won't act like one.
/r/RedPillWomen02/10/19 11:13 PM
10

This is the right answer. Either can be feminine!
/r/RedPillWomen27/09/19 09:56 PM
2

The last paragraph 👌🏻 Yes. Yes. 1000 times yes.
/r/RedPillWomen26/09/19 12:42 AM
1

This is two months old, but I wanted to thank you for your comment. I found this thread in the search bar and it's exactly what I needed. Your wisdom is much appreciated ❤️
/r/RedPillWomen24/09/19 01:59 AM
2

YES. I have just accepted that I will never know how I truly feel in a garmet until I wear it out in public and either feel great or totally foolish. For me it's less of a confidence issue and more of a self awareness exercise. Not everything suits me and sometimes my clothing experiments go well and sometimes they don't!
/r/RedPillWomen24/09/19 01:55 AM
4

Red flag? Sure. Deal breaker? Not necessarily. I don't think that gaming the algorithm to cast a wider net on a dating app is the worst thing...but it's a setback for sure. Talk to him about it, give him a chance to explain himself, and keep vetting.
/r/RedPillWomen17/09/19 03:29 AM
7

I keep a "sentimental" box in my house for things that I have a strong emotional attachment to. My high school marching band shirts, college concert shirts, etc, camp sweatshirts, etc. These things have no business taking up space in my day to day wardrobe, but they are really important to me. Instead of getting rid of things completely, it's always an option to give them a new home elsewhere in your house and use the closet for the things you wear every day.
/r/RedPillWomen17/09/19 03:20 AM
2

I probably shouldn't have been so broad in my anecdote (I'll try to edit for clarification). The important contrast I was noticing was when she was comparing herself to our co-worker who is just as charming and equally intelligent. The only difference is their looks and she didn't seem to realize it.
/r/RedPillWomen02/08/19 04:36 AM
5

Jennifer L Scott (she wrote the Madame Chic books, but also has a YouTube channel)
/r/RedPillWomen18/06/19 09:54 PM
5

It would only be repellent for a man who specifically wants a wife who stays at home, which is obviously not what you're looking for. I don't think career success is a negative for most men, it just isn't a positive per se. It's by no means a bad trait to have, it's just that other traits are more important. My husband is very supportive of my career because he knows it's important to me, but my career is not on the list of reasons why he married me.
/r/RedPillWomen10/03/19 03:18 AM
4

I use the same Multi Purpose Spray (vinegar/water/tea tree oil) spray for EVERYTHING. Bathroom, kitchen, dusting, glass cleaner, everything. When it's time clean or dust, I take my little spray bottle and cloth and never have to switch. I spray it on a dry surface and wipe down with a dry cloth. It cuts out the need to spray on the cleaner let it sit, rinse, and dry. A handheld Shark vaccum was the best thing I've ever bought. I do a daily sweep of our kitchen and vacuum up the pile. No dustpans…
/r/RedPillWomen05/03/19 02:03 AM
2

Have you checked out our sub's Wiki? It's a great place to start, and will answer a lot of questions you may have.
/r/RedPillWomen04/03/19 02:49 PM
2

I love your style! You seem like you have a good grasp on who you are and what you like, and that's great. If you're interested in experimenting with more feminine dressing, switching up the silhouette, fit, and amount of skin shown would be a great place to start. In the first picture (just as an example), you could keep the jeans but swap in a form fitting turtleneck that shows your figure. In the summer, try a camisole or tank top. Do a little experimenting. Feminine dressing is not one size …
/r/RedPillWomen04/03/19 02:47 PM
3

Absolutely not, all men are NOT cheaters. To echo a lot of ladies here, most men may face temptation in their lives, but strength of character is what stops them from acting on it. Good men are out there, and your ex is not one of them.
/r/RedPillWomen03/03/19 07:28 PM
7

Oh man that's a rough night! From one wife to another though, I wouldn't overthink this one. Unless it's a pattern...does this type of thing happen often? Assuming that this was a particularly bad night and not a common occurrence, I think your husband is probably as disappointed in himself as you are, he probably just doesn't want you to know because he's embarrassed. No sense in pouring salt in the wound. Also, drunk people are terrible at judging how much more they can handle. It might not be…
/r/RedPillWomen03/03/19 05:25 AM
8

I can relate. I have wanted to be a mother for as long as I can remember, and I've had raging baby fever for as long as I've been married (4 yrs). Until recently though, it was simply not the right time to start a family. So I spent my time learning. Reading parenting books, watching mommy vloggers on YouTube (and living vicariously let's be real), and listening to podcasts. It's not exactly a physical outlet, but it is absolutely a mental one that keeps me busy and makes me happy.
/r/RedPillWomen03/03/19 05:07 AM
–

I'm a loyal Bon Appetit and Martha Stewart reader, and their recipes never steer me wrong. I keep all my tried and true recipes in a pretty binder with plastic sleeves. Because I'm extra, I also have a template that I retype and format all my recipes in so they all match 😂
/r/RedPillWomen02/03/19 04:30 PM
–

Is he choosing a vegan diet based only on the "health benefits" or for moral reasons? The body building community is very pro meat eating (usually in the form of the Paleo Diet). If he is really serious about it, he will probably discover this while researching how to gain muscle. I'd leave this issue alone and stop trying to "convince" him of anything. Let him get there on his own.
/r/RedPillWomen02/03/19 04:26 PM
1

If this is all hypothetical, your captain is in the right here. These are all irresponsible decisions that he has every right to address. The examples given dont sound like criticism to me, it sounds like correction. Correction that is very much needed.
/r/RedPillWomen02/03/19 03:44 PM
17

Kindness. It sounds obvious, but it isn't. A man can be dependable, loyal, and charming, but if he isn't kind to you, run in the other direction. The sexual chemistry could be out of this world, but if he he insults you, has an uncontrollable temper, or harms you in any way, he is not worth it. Healthy relationships cannot exist if both parties are not kind to one another.
/r/RedPillWomen28/02/19 12:08 AM
9

This might be way off base, but did he typically drink when he was out dancing? Dancing while mildly buzzed or drunk is VERY different than dancing sober. My husband has the time of his life dancing, but only if the environment is right: low lights, crowded dance floor so no one is looking at him, surrounded by friends who are equally bad dancers 😂
/r/RedPillWomen27/02/19 05:33 PM
2

Two under two is hard. Doing it on 4hrs of sleep (or less) each night is impossible. There is a lot to unpack in this post, but I genuinely think that getting enough sleep will solve a lot of the issues you're facing right now. Lovingly training your child to sleep through the night is not easy, and it looks different for every family, but it's SO important. A functioning mother is the greatest gift you could give your child, and that isn't possible if you're not getting enough sleep.
/r/RedPillWomen26/02/19 03:50 PM
2

When you're old enough for the responsibility and financial burden, but young enough to keep up with young children without losing your mind.
/r/RedPillWomen25/02/19 10:49 PM
13

My personal mantras are: 1) Having less is always better than organizing more. The less you have, the less you have to take care of. Decluttering and getting rid of the excess in all aspects of your life will set you free. 2) Don't let it accumulate. Whether it's the amount of dishes in the sink or the amount of soap scum on the bathroom sink. It's so much easier to take fifteen seconds and wipe down the sink and counter every night, than let it build into a gross film that takes actual elbow gr…
/r/RedPillWomen25/02/19 06:51 PM
10

I think I understand. To echo a lot of ladies here, humility and gratitude will set you free. Pride and resentment cannot exist when you humble yourself and are deeply grateful for what you've been given in this life. You are no longer dependent on outside sources for validation or your own sense of worth. When you are motivated by something fleeting, whether it's your husband's praise or a feeling of superiority over other women, you will never be satisfied. Outside validation will never break …
/r/RedPillWomen25/02/19 06:36 PM
4

I swear pasta dishes and chili taste better the second time around.
/r/RedPillWomen24/02/19 05:52 AM
1

Idk how many G Strings they have, but I buy all my lingerie at SheIn.com or HM.com for SUPER cheap. Like, insanely cheap. You might want to check it out! It's not the best quality...but that's usually not what your man is looking at when you have it on anyway!
/r/RedPillWomen23/02/19 06:00 PM
3

Baby steps! Try swapping out your leggings for skinny jeans with A LOT of stretch in a soft material. They'll look less sloppy, but will still feel like leggings. Second, swap out graphic, crew neck T-Shirts for a V Neck cut in a solid, feminine color that suits you. Again, the goal is to feel like you're in pajamas but look a little more put together. Then maybe swap out your Converse for ballet flats and see how you feel. I buy most of my clothes second hand on ThredUp.com or a local thrift sh…
/r/RedPillWomen23/02/19 05:57 PM
6

There are millions of parenting books, but the classics are a great place to start. There's the old standby "Baby and Child Care" by Dr. Benjamin Spock. This was basically the go to for my parent's entire generation. Beyond that you have "Babywise" by Gary Ezzo and "Attachment Parenting" by William Sears. These two books represent two schools of parenting, each with major followings. People have STRONG opinions about both. I recommend reading all three, seeing what gels with you and your persona…
/r/RedPillWomen23/02/19 05:43 PM
2

College is a wonderful time to make friends! It's a new beginning for everyone, no one will know or care who you used to be. The best advice I could give you is to embrace casual friendships, and don't pressure yourself to find a group of friends like you see on TV. Adult friendships are very different than high school friends, it's very rare to have ONE GROUP that ticks all the boxes. It's more common to have a different group of people for each area of your life. As a married woman in her mid …
/r/RedPillWomen23/02/19 04:14 PM
2

I edited my original post in case it was confusing, this was exactly the point I was trying to make!
/r/RedPillWomen22/02/19 07:28 PM
1

Perhaps I should edit my comment, because I agree with you both! I was trying to say that if you want to turn away Blue Pill men, there are certain words and phrases you can use to do it in a more casual way (which is what I thought OP was asking). If you can point me to the confusing part of my comment, I will edit it to make it more clear.
/r/RedPillWomen22/02/19 03:35 PM
3

I'd be interested to know why you tend to throw yourself into relationships. Are you addicted to the butterflies and lust phase of relationships? Are you seeking love and validation from an outside source to replace a lack of self worth? Or are you just taking the opportunities that present themselves because it's what you've always done and it's become a habit? As always, getting to the root of the problem is the best way to find a solution. Resisting temptation is not easy, and everyone has th…
/r/RedPillWomen22/02/19 03:19 PM
26

I absolutely love this, your grandma was a wise woman!
/r/RedPillWomen22/02/19 03:13 PM
2

Someone already mentioned this, but I think they nailed it. Answer the question truthfully, but succinctly, and throw it back to them. Part one: something to establish shared values and beliefs. Part two: describe masculinity. Whether it's "I'm looking for someone who shares my beliefs and has a strong sense of who he is" or whatever variation of that suits you best.
/r/RedPillWomen22/02/19 01:40 PM
7

Instead of explicitly saying you want someone who "has strong views on gender roles and believes women belong at home", perhaps you could share your beliefs and see how he feels about them. Something like "I'm a traditional girl and my dream is to be a homemaker and wife. I love to cook, clean, and look after the home. I'm looking for someone who shares my values, and has a strong sense of who he is and takes care of himself." ​ Blue pill men will likely be put off by the word "traditional" and …
/r/RedPillWomen22/02/19 01:28 PM
2

Typically when my husband is angry with me it falls into one of two categories: 1) I did something that upset him, and was unaware of what I was doing or had good intentions that backfired. When he brings it to my attention, I make sure he feels heard, lovingly apologize immediately, and try to deconstruct the situation to make sure I understand where I went wrong and don't make the mistake again! 2) If I believe I am in the right, or feel the need to defend my actions I put 100% of my energy to…
/r/RedPillWomen21/02/19 07:20 PM
3

We worked at a (religious) overnight summer camp together. We were both counselors for the 1st - 3rd grade students. Our second summer together he was a one on one counselor for children with special needs. We got to know each other in a huge friend group, and started dating when we went back to college at the end of the (second) summer. He ticked all the boxes: Religious? Check. Great leadership skills? Check. Good with kids? Check. We've been together for 8 years and married for (almost) four …
/r/RedPillWomen21/02/19 07:11 PM
12

Presenting yourself well is a form of self respect. You are telling the world that you take yourself seriously, and therefore they should too. The realities of doing so look different for every person. A consistent life pursuit of mine is to get the absolute greatest impact out of everything I do with the least amount of effort. There are few places this applies more to than my daily beauty routine and fashion. It sounds like you are already prioritizing weight management (excellent!), so here a…
/r/RedPillWomen15/02/19 09:24 PM
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