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Deus_Ex_Mortum Archive

View 0 posts and 38 comments by Deus_Ex_Mortum on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Can't sleep. Nightmares. Panic attacks daily Not entirely sure I'm not in a coma and every single bullshit thing that happens everyday isn't just a subconcious reminder that I'm stuck in some liminal state somewhere between life and death.
/r/MenSupportMen11/12/24 12:37 PM
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What do you do when you feel, for lack of a better phrase, physically starved? I'm feeling rejected, unattractive (not that there was much to work with there) and unwanted. It would also behoove me to mention that I'm married so "find a one night stand" isn't an option. Anyone experience something like that?
/r/MenSupportMen30/09/24 04:34 PM
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I haven't commented on these check in's for awhile because for a bit, I was doing okay. My mental health is struggling. I'm lonely and feel like lately I've had to repress my needs and wants to make up for everyone else's. I need to find a new therapist. My last one disappeared mid treatment about a year ago and I refused to find a new one because I just didn't want to start from scratch again (I've had to do it a couple times for numerous reasons over the years. Insurance changes, therapists do…
/r/MenSupportMen15/08/24 02:00 AM
2

Oh my friend. I understand all you well where you are coming from. If I can give you one piece of advice, don't bank everything on marriage and parenthood. Those come with a whole host of new challenges and unfortunately, there will still be plenty of moments of loneliness. You need to live for yourself. The autism diagnosis isn't a deal breaker. You are learning more about yourself which is never a bad thing. You'll be alright.
/r/MenSupportMen09/05/24 06:55 PM
4

Not great... Had three anxiety attacks this week alone cause I'm having a hard time trying to communicate and understand my wife and daughter who have recently been diagnosed ADHD / Autistic. My daughter, that's different cause she is young and still learning the ways of the world. My wife, is different cause we've known each for 18+ years and just recently discovered her diagnosis. It leads occasionally to arguments but mostly occasional resentful feelings on my end because of the changes. So m…
/r/MenSupportMen03/06/23 10:46 AM
3

I was invited to help moderate a new group on Facebook and I'm glad for the challenge and camaraderie. I've been needing a win and this feels like a chance to spread my wings and be useful.
/r/MenSupportMen22/04/23 10:02 AM
2

You know, that's a really great idea. I'm still "new" to the area that I live in and haven't fully explored it. I never really considered looking into groups like that. Great idea! Thank you!
/r/MenSupportMen16/04/23 10:25 PM
1

If I didn't have my puppy, I'd be utterly miserable.
/r/MenSupportMen15/04/23 08:32 AM
2

No, that sounds just about right. I'm left alone all the time. I try to be social and strike things up with friends and family, however I come from a "Neurodivergent" household and as the token neurotypical, my needs often... Always... get overlooked. It's my primary topic of conversation with my therapist.
/r/MenSupportMen15/04/23 03:41 AM
1

There was no physical abuse. The hard thing that I'm dealing with is that I feel like I'm alone all the time. I work alone. My wife and daughter are doing their own things.... I don't have much of a social circle but the friends I do have are either too far away or because they are new dad's, have no time for social calls (which I can respect. I went through the same thing.) It's all making me very vindictive... Hateful even. I am miserable of being miserable.
/r/MenSupportMen15/04/23 01:04 AM
2

Tech's not an issue. I don't use my phone much as is. Since I have kids, I would just be more stressed thinking that they couldn't find me if they needed me. On top of that, I have health issues and it would just stress my wife out if she couldn't find me. So I appreciate the thought but tech is kind of my saving grace at the moment. I wouldn't have anything to fill my time if I shunned tech.
/r/MenSupportMen14/04/23 10:43 PM
5

Still struggling with life changes. New responsibilities and realizations that I've lost an essential part of my life in physical human contact. Maybe lost is a bit extreme but it has been severely diminished. I'm trying to find alternatives but being social is hard after years of pandemic imposed loneliness. Being naturally introverted isn't helping things either. Everything ebbs and flows. I don't know where to start. I feel like I'm in a self loathing spiral. I need to break it. I have to fin…
/r/MenSupportMen14/04/23 06:39 PM
2

Good on you for recognizing a toxic environment and simply walking away. I find it's simultaneously painful, saddening and otherwise silly to get into any kind of debate right now. This whole world is a hotbed of strife and anything other than complete submission to an aggressors will is an invitation for trouble. But I digress. Good on you again. I hope you can find something to fill gap and bring yourself at least a modicum of joy.
/r/MenSupportMen31/03/23 08:54 AM
1

I appreciate that. My reply gave off more of a pessimistic tone than intended. I know it's a great group of people here. Music used to work really well. I still very much enjoy it. It's been my life passion. But even when I try to listen to "trigger songs", I don't get the same response as I used to. It's the best option I have though. Maybe if I try to soften my psyche first with some reading or even THC (it's legal where I live and helps with things immensely in low doses). I appreciate everyo…
/r/MenSupportMen17/03/23 12:29 AM
1

That's understandable. I spend my life trying to do everything the opposite of my dad. Don't let that become your drive though. Resentment impacts everything around you. Just gotta find that even keel. Good luck
/r/MenSupportMen15/03/23 04:45 PM
1

I'm so full of emotions and feelings about how things have developed that I just wish I could cry or scream or something but I can't find it in me to do so. I just need to find somewhere to put this abundance of feelings and I have no idea how to do it. It's all starting to give a numb feeling to it. I know this feeling as I felt it when I be was younger and things were at their absolute worst. I don't want to feel that again. Luckily I'm on the North American cocktail of depression and anxiety …
/r/MenSupportMen15/03/23 04:39 PM
2

Eh, maybe just a smidgen but I'm getting by, day by day. My daughter is gonna be awesome at whatever she chooses to do. And so help me, I'll have her back till the day I die.
/r/MenSupportMen11/03/23 12:07 PM
2

My daughter is 7, almost 8. She was diagnosed autistic with ADHD. She is a strong girl. Resilient like her mom (also autistic ADHD. Didn't learn till just this year) and crazy like me. I know she will be okay. It's just hard to reconcile. The PTSD stuff is rough. Been dealing with it myself for many years. I appreciate the kind words.
/r/MenSupportMen11/03/23 10:08 AM
1

I'm sure I'll find my peace eventually. But thank you for the kind words nonetheless.
/r/MenSupportMen11/03/23 02:30 AM
2

To not feel heard is immensely frustrating. I'm sorry you're going through that on top of the stressors that come with college life. Hang in there, take it step by step and just look out for you the best you can.
/r/MenSupportMen10/03/23 09:11 PM
3

I dunno.... I feel conflicted. This whole last year has been a challenge. I just passed my one year anniversary from my near death experience. So that has been on my mind. But my most challenging thing as of late is my daughter getting a medical diagnosis. Nothing life threatening, strictly mental. But it has been grating on me. Knowing the life long challenge that is now standing right in front of her. I'm not allowed to feel bad or speak indifferently about it lest my opinions influence her fe…
/r/MenSupportMen10/03/23 09:08 PM
2

Dealing with life changes alot slower than my family would like, so that is stressful. But I've definitely felt worse in the past. So.... Net gain, I guess?
/r/MenSupportMen28/02/23 05:25 PM
5

Finally, after 10 years of not living on my own, I finally have a small corner of the institution. My wife decided my daughter could have my most recent bastion of peace in the house and make it a play room. It had been a "family room" where I was able to keep my PS4 and a spare TV in there. After much debate, I decided to build a man cave. I used an old utility room in the basement that was little more than a place to store random shit. I cleaned it out, hung some cheeky tapestries, used some X…
/r/MenSupportMen21/01/23 07:59 AM
2

That is true.... Sometimes it is better to cut losses. So long as you have done your due diligence and weighed your options appropriately, you shouldn't have any regrets.
/r/MenSupportMen28/12/22 02:57 PM
2

Fingers crossed. Thanks for chatting.
/r/MenSupportMen28/12/22 03:40 AM
3

How long have you been feeling like this? 7 years is a long time to walk away from. It seems like alot of these feelings could be talked out and a solution could be found. Relationships are all about compromise. You can come out of the other end pretty okay if you take the time to state your feelings and work out a plan. Don't make a hasty decision with 7 years of your life when the issues are reconcilable. Just my thought.....
/r/MenSupportMen28/12/22 02:11 AM
3

Rebuilding after the complete breakdown. Yesterday sucked, migraine all day. Today was better. Hoping tomorrow will be better still.
/r/MenSupportMen28/12/22 01:55 AM
2

As far as I can narrow things down, it was a combination of the general pressure that comes with Xmas, being in a too small room with FAR too many people (one of which was getting their inner paparazzi on as well), and finally a series of incredibly passive aggressive text messages from my mother and brother This last year or so have been very testing for my personal side of the family (mother & brother). We don't see eye to on anything and it's really starting to weigh on my psyche.
/r/MenSupportMen28/12/22 01:10 AM
7

One step at a time. Good on you for finding a method that while maybe not the best long term, can at least help you function now. Don't let atrophy set in. Work towards your permanent fix, whatever that may look like.
/r/MenSupportMen27/12/22 10:27 PM
2

That's a tricky spot to be in. Want to talk about it?
/r/MenSupportMen27/12/22 10:24 PM
2

Things have been getting better since the weekend. On the upswing, one might say. Had a complete and utter mental breakdown / panic attack on Xmas day and have just been rebuilding since.
/r/MenSupportMen27/12/22 10:24 PM
3

Nah.... I'm just a recipient of holiday stress and it's that same stress that is killing most of my fledgling self esteem. But I appreciate the check in nonetheless.
/r/MenSupportMen25/12/22 02:59 AM
3

Was going good till I got micro managed to oblivion. Now I gotta make with the fake happiness and I don't think I can muster much more. My method of fake it till you make it is starting to fail me and that scares me.
/r/MenSupportMen24/12/22 10:48 PM
2

Best of luck!
/r/MenSupportMen08/09/22 04:40 PM
2

I know that one all too well. Baby that knee. A solid knee sleeve will do wonders. Good luck on the start of the school year. Thank you for all that you do. Teachers don't get nearly enough credit for what they do.
/r/MenSupportMen07/09/22 08:38 PM
2

Kid went back to school today. I can finally get back to fixing up the house, cleaning and preparing for the prolific Minnesota winter (I'm a stay at home dad but take gig work where I can for extra income) Felt pretty good today, being able to get things done without too much distraction. I'm still recovering from a near death experience and learning to live with my limitations. All in all it's been one of the better starts to a week in recent weeks.
/r/MenSupportMen07/09/22 12:51 AM
2

Thankfully my SO and I are a united force in both of our respective life changes. We're still happily married, we've just had individual trials that came on at the same time. Honestly, I don't know where I would be if not for her. I'm taking everything one day at a time but by bit. We both are.
/r/MenSupportMen14/04/22 05:18 AM
3

Not gonna lie.... I'm not in a great place. I've been struggling with the aftermath of a near death experience and with sudden life changes with my significant other. I'm constantly in pain due to lung damage and fear that if I were to contract Covid, it might put me in the ground for good, which of course leads me to not wanting to leave the house. I feel so beaten down that my tolerance for jabs at me are honestly quite devastating. I'm trying to find a therapist but everyone and their brother…
/r/MenSupportMen13/04/22 07:05 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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