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DifferenceThat8887 Archive

View 0 posts and 145 comments by DifferenceThat8887 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
108

Get a lawyer. Do not leave your wife alone with your kids, and perhaps also see if there are any domestic abuse agencies (ones that specifically state a willingness to recognise and/or help men) so you can get some documentation. In particular make absolutely sure she isn't alone with the children if she knows you are getting a lawyer and have evidence bscause she might do something drastic. If you have to contact police as a last resort stress that it is the safety of the children you are worri…
/r/MensRights03/06/23 10:47 AM
65

Yeah this has been getting to me as well. It's frustrating because feminists will talk as if they are somehow being oppressed or silenced yet it's genuinely risky to even discuss men's issues in academic or corporate environments. You do basically end up just self policing and throwing in a few comments were possible.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates27/05/23 02:53 AM
2

This is exclusively going to be used by abusive women to control their partners, especially given that its spain and they can use the app to hit their husband with charges for unpaid housework (And let's be realistic she's going to be the one putting the info into the app and he's not going to get any say if the numbers she is entering are wrong).
/r/MensRights27/05/23 12:55 AM
6

Realistically it won't though. It's going to include a narrow range a traditionally 'feminine' tasks.
/r/MensRights18/05/23 10:05 PM
16

100% this app will be used almost exclusively by controling and abusive women as a weapon to trap men and enable abuse.
/r/MensRights18/05/23 10:03 PM
2

The fact that feminists are often biased does not mean women are intellectually inferior or 'emotional' thinkers. Misogynistic comments like this are not only ignorant but undermine any attempt to raise awareness of men's issues.
/r/MensRights08/05/23 12:58 AM
97

Not since high school. It happens but is not the norm for most men. Certainly not the way it's portrayed. Ironically the only shaming I've ever experienced from adult men is from feminist men with a superiority complex basically telling other men to stop whining and demanding 'emotional labor' or insisting that men who want to talk about experiences of abuse from women should just shut up and get therapy since 'women have it worse'.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates07/05/23 08:25 AM
44

Juryless trials are a terrible idea. Lone judges are extremely biased and ideologically driven.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates27/04/23 08:59 PM
29

Had this exact thing happen. Honestly it's what turned me against feminism. The articles I read literally described abusers using false accusations to harm victims as a severe issue..... When it happens to women. While saying it never happens to men despite being something men are particularly vulnerable to. It made It clear that they just refuse to consider men as potential victims.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates27/04/23 09:24 AM
15

Except a huge proportion of false accusations are used as a form of abuse and to trap men (And women in many cases) in abusive/violent relationships. They cause trauma and enable trauma-causing abuse. Depp had 100s of mill8ons of dollars, worldwide fans and hours of actual recordings demonstrating his inocence. He isn't representative.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates27/04/23 09:23 AM
9

Yep. Have ptsd from an abusive partner. Two close friends who have had a psychologically abusive one (insults, suicide threats etc). Another close friend who's mum physically abused his dad for years and then got custody and got the dad charged with DV for defending himself once. It's not some kind of rare exception to the rule.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates25/04/23 11:28 AM
2

This sort of thing is why strength matters a lot less than people realize and why its not the same as a one tine fight. Even without the cops if you fight back she could get you back later to pjnish you for that when you are asleep or with a weapon. At which point you learn to just let her hurt you for fear of her doing something worse.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates21/04/23 04:41 AM
1

Legit if you look up the feminist authors from that post listing violent/hateful feminist quotes they all despise transgender women. Modern feminists often claim to support trans people but it's just a quid pro quo because they assume trans people will back them up too. The moment a trans person stops backing up their misandry they turn against them.
/r/MensRights20/04/23 01:41 PM
19

No they use physical abuse plenty because the dynamics in relationships are different to one-time fights and strength differences matter a lot less.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates19/04/23 11:02 AM
7

It is mostly because women who are victimised often have a similar niceness and self-blame and often keep their victimisation hidden, while the people who go around being the loudest about how all their ex boyfriends were all horrible and shitty are more likely to actually be abusive themselves. They are saying these things in bad faith. The negativity towards men is itself the point. They aren't looking for any specific 'change' and if you interact with them you will see that they are even more…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates11/04/23 12:15 PM
5

Yeah methodology is super important. Heaps of studies that just take men claiming that they are 'not afraid' or are 'managing' at face value and conclude that there was no abuse even if there was evidence of violence and controlling behaviour against him.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates11/04/23 10:58 AM
3

Not more, but also not that much less. And yeah holy shit the extent to which men are brainwashed by society and themselves into accepting abuse is crazy. One of my favorite shows as a child was My Name is Earl and I can't even watch it now because of one of the female characters abusing her male partners as a running joke in the series.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates11/04/23 10:51 AM
18

Except that's not how it works, is it? We end up respecting women, unconditionally, to our detriment, because it presumes perpetually innocent behaviour on their part. We end up allowing ourselves to be vulnerable, to be neglected or taken advantage of, and our feelings and needs are never given the reciprocal care that we're expected to give everybody else's. This succinctly describes one of the core issues with modern feminism. Feminists go out of their way to insist that any talk of women doi…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates11/04/23 10:38 AM
6

Whenever I see people commenting about how feminism has let them/their friends stand up to shitty men and demand more my assumption is that they basically just abuse their male partners and feminism has given them a rhetorical weapon to help justify/enable it. Because that's honestly my experience.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates06/04/23 09:20 AM
12

You can look at the situation in Russia to see that women are just as militaristic as men. This idea of men starting wars while all the peaceful women wished they would stop is a complete myth.
/r/MensRights03/04/23 10:55 AM
7

Unfortunately it's an uphill battle to get people to realise that women actually do things like this and that it isn't some rare exception and that it is actually traumatizing to experience. Any normal person will be able to see that what she texted was not normal. Make sure you save these texts and back them up.
/r/MensRights25/03/23 02:15 AM
2

The story is that the woman is controlling and abusive and OP has left them
/r/MensRights25/03/23 01:58 AM
22

I suspect the reason the intimate partner homicide ratio has become more skewed is because domestic violence awareness has led more women to recognise and try to leave abusive partners which is usually when the abusive partner ends up trying to kill the victim. Plus abusive women are often now able to use courts etc against male victims. I have a friend who's mom beat his dad for years and his dad ended up getting charged with DV and lost custody for defending himself one time. He ended up sendi…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates24/03/23 10:20 PM
1

I don't think the racial element is necessary. Black men get a massive amount of gender related discrimination and I don't thnk making the race distinction here really helps at all. I think it also weakens the point. The focus should be on the impact that unemployment and loneliness have.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates09/03/23 08:00 PM
1

What will happen is more and more women who are abusive will acrually get arrested and charged leading to an outcry by feminists and claims that women are being wrongly arrested.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates07/03/23 10:36 AM
14

Even ignoring the effects of the accusation a huge proportion of the men it happens to have already been abused by accuser in other ways.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates02/03/23 09:23 PM
18

What got me about that was people who said false accusations never happen then turning round and claiming men who make abuse claims are lying to get back at victims. So they do happen but only men make them apparently.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates02/03/23 09:20 PM
10

A huge a portion of men who suffer false accusations are themselves victims of abuse/domestic violence from the person making the accusations. Justice is great but the tradeoff here is subjecting another group to further victimisation. Personally I don't think false accusations should be heavily punished simply because it stops false accusers from walking back their claims. But general caution regarding accusations, particularly made by people who have a reason to want to hurt the accussed is im…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates02/03/23 09:14 PM
3

Given what she did he probably had good reason to not tell her.
/r/MensRights26/02/23 10:21 AM
2

As others said, get a lawyer. Also do not ever interact with this person again. She is clearly abusive and wants to have control over you while she is dating other people. She might use the accusations to try to get you to take her back in the hope that she will stop. Don't do it. Eventually she will do worse things to control you. Make sure you gather evidence of text messages etc to show that she is just doing this because she is angry you were with someone else. The fact that you were afraid …
/r/MensRights26/02/23 10:18 AM
2

This is exactly it. I make casual jokes about the abusive partner that gave me ptsd. It makes it feel less threatening and more manageable.
/r/MensRights26/02/23 10:05 AM
3

Its not 'all'. Personally I'm glad I have the example of my mother to and know that not all women are like this. If I was going by the experiences of me and my friends It would definitely feel like it was 'all'.
/r/MensRights26/02/23 09:58 AM
1

Yeah in most cases he can't fight back because if he does she will use it against him or she will get him back worse in some other way. Its a completely different situation to one-off random encounters. Plus most women are still strong enough to cause severe injury and seriously hurt their male partners.
/r/MensRights26/02/23 09:56 AM
5

I won't address laws because other responses have. Basically while feminists will usually claim that they recognise male victims they don't in practice. The official domestic violence pages in my country have specific sections about male victims of female abusers which are entirely devoted to claiming that men who claim to be victims of abuse are often lying and advising that men should be questioned on what they did to deserve it. These pages reference feminist research and were written bases o…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates25/02/23 01:55 PM
5

Not trying to be hostile but this feels like the 'black on black' crime response. Homicide between men is immensely complex and has all sorts of motives. Addressing male homicide basically means solving every social and economic problem in existence. I don't see what a specific group on that would be able to do. It feels like the only purpose a group like that would serve would be to basically be yet another group telling men how bad and dangerous they are. What people are talking about here is …
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates25/02/23 01:31 PM
6

I'll give a thorough response to this when I have time later
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates24/02/23 01:01 AM
12

When you say a "men against violence group" do you mean a group stopping men from being violent? Because plenty of violence men experience comes from women in relationships and groups specifically addressing male perpetrated violence are already common.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates23/02/23 11:26 PM
20

Look most of the men's issues addressed on this page relate to abuse etc perpetrated by women against men and the way it is downplayed/ignored/understated, or relate to the disproportionate perception of men as dangerous/deserving of punishment and a lack of empathy for issues affecting men. Most of the posters here are otherwise left wing men who have directly experienced the effects of this. Both of these also involve biases which come from both men and women and which feminists play the most …
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates23/02/23 11:21 PM
20

This page supports progresive economic policy, lgbt rights, and opposed racism. The one thing it is critical of is feminism.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates23/02/23 07:24 PM
5

Yeah. Its a classic problem with any kind of theory. When you have very broad statistics like 'more men than women do xyz' there are all sorts of seemingly plausible explanations you can come up with to explain it. If you collect a lot of statistics, and come up with a bunch of explations for them that fit your theory, you can make it look like your theory has a lot of evidence even if you haven't actually proven that any of your explanations are actually correct. Feminism is basically just theo…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates22/02/23 10:39 AM
28

They have deliberately conflated violent misogynists with lonely men so that they can be contemptful and nasty towards vulnerable men while pretending to be progressive. In practice they use incel as an insult because it means 'unattractive', 'fat' or 'autistic' etc. If you actually know the kinds of women who use it as an insult a lot you will realize they are awful people. They are often very predatory people who bully and abuse people in general.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates16/02/23 11:27 PM
38

Proportion of deaths from cardiovascular is probably higher because more men are dying of other things at younger ages. I also love this 'sounding the alarm' phrase. Like men dying is normal and unremarkable but when something starts to affect women slightly more that's a serious problem that something needs to be done about.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates16/02/23 11:13 PM
6

People assume the woman must have been coerced into it because they cant imagine a woman doing something like that on their own initiative. They never consider that maybe the reason women usually commit crimes alongside men is because they want the extra muscle and/or hope to pin the blame on the man.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates15/02/23 08:27 AM
9

If they are white ask if they are consistent and apply the same logic to ethnic minorities and watch how uncomfortable they get.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates07/02/23 07:22 PM
14

My abusive ex did the same. She wasnt even feminist but over time started adopting the 'men are trash' aspects and other parts of feminisr rhetoric. It's probably correlation more than anything. If they are kind of the person who is willing to sexually assault someone they are probably also more open to holding offensive and/or sexist beliefs. I think a fair few also get invested in that kind of rhetoric precisely because it helps them justify/downplay their own behaviour.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates03/02/23 09:40 PM
7

Yeah. I mean I know it happens to plenty of women as well but feminists seem to have convinced people that this never or rarely happens to men which is not the case. The default seems to be to assume men are lying. Usually the women I see getting most publicly angry about this are exactly the kind of FDS women who treat their partners like slaves.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates14/01/23 10:16 PM
4

It's just a slippery and poorly defined concept. Power usually involves emotional power and fear and in many cases the person who has that might seem less powerful in terms of wealth/income etc. It's also difficult because abuse gives abusers power over the victim but abusive people don't necessarily explicitly think about power as a motive and are mostly just instinctively responding to emotional cues such as jealous and insecurity using the strategies they learned from childhood environments (…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates09/01/23 08:03 AM
5

Nah it was definitely racist but again the tweets were ten years old and he was like 16 when he made them. It's not a reason to mock his death at the hands of an abusive partner. It's just a manifestation of misandry that punishment for any failing or character flaw no matter how minor takes precedence over sympathy for severe victimisation for men and especially black men.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates08/01/23 10:33 PM
20

And yeah holy shit misandry against black men is off the charts. I remember when Christian Obumseli was murdered people were basically mocking him and saying he deserved it because 10 years ago in high school he wrote a racist twitter post about how he preferred white girlfriends. Like ok they were ignorant tweets but seriously he was in high school and immigrant Africans are often kind of ignorant regarding African American issues. He got brutally killed after years of abuse and his murderer wa…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates08/01/23 11:57 AM
26

The problem is that they insist on talking about gender in terms of 'oppression' as if it is the same as race and (outside of actual ideologically misogynist regimes like in Iran) it just isn't. The relationship between men and women is completely different to the relationship between black and white Americans. 'Traditional' gender relations emerged because pre-modern societies were extremely harsh which encouraged men and women to specialise in different roles to meet each others needs to survi…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates08/01/23 11:42 AM
2

Yeah I made this argument to someone a while back. Plus the financial proceeds of crime etc almost always benefits women close to the men involved who often encourage it. Feminists like to act like women are all helpless innocent bystanders regarding violence and crime by men but its not true. Most men just dont have the option of shaming their girlfriend into robbing a liquor store to make money for them.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates05/01/23 09:55 PM
17

Yeah holy shit this. It's normal for people to get defensive over things like this but whereas men have faced lots of pressure to listen to women's experiences lots of women have basically been told by feminists that any defensiveness they feel hearing men's perspectives is completely justified, and that if any man's experiences contradict common feminist assumptions he is just a liar trying to derail women's rights. One of the best examples of this was a menslib post where a woman was apologisi…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates31/12/22 04:23 AM
22

Yeah this is really amplified among younger generations where men have felt pressure all through school and from social media etc to listen to and be aware of women's experiences etc (Which is a good thing) but younger women have not felt the same pressure. Then they make really inaccurate and even offensive assumptions about men, such as assuming that male mental health issues are all caused by men having shallow friendships or being obssessed with 'toxic masculinity', or assuming that only wom…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates31/12/22 03:46 AM
3

If you want another atrocious 'study' read M. Hester (2012):https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.1177/1077801212461428 This one takes a situation (the Mr /Mrs. Teal example) where a man is getting death threats during minor disagreements and is being attacked while he sleeps and claims that the female perpetrator is not a real abuser/intimate terrorist because the male victim is in a position of gendered power and is not experiencing true fear/control because he was able to respond by hiding…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates15/12/22 05:31 AM
1

Yeah agreed
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates13/12/22 02:06 AM
9

I agree but it's a good way to criticize the 'toxic masculinity' idea. Most women would be justifiably offended if you described mean girl behaviour as toxic femininity which can be useful to show why men find the toxic masculinity idea offensive since it is doing the same thing.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates13/12/22 12:36 AM
9

And people with no experience with bit will believe it because it's cognitively difficult to perceive women as aggressive.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates29/11/22 05:42 AM
13

People are recognising it mostly because more men are learning to not just keep it quiet so more people know men who have experience serious controlling abuse etc.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates29/11/22 05:40 AM
9

Perfectly put. I have a social science background so it was shocking to see stuff like this not only pass peer review but also get that many citations.i couldn't believe my eyes when I saw their reasoning for using the sample. Most research I've seen is not quite this bad, but makes mayor the same mistakes. Usually there is absolutely no consideration of biases in perception and reporting (which are massively important in this kind of research). Massive discrepancies in coding whereby male aggre…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates16/11/22 10:06 AM
2

I responded to the other comment with a link tout. Dobash and Dobash 2004.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates16/11/22 01:13 AM
20

https://academic.oup.com/bjc/article-abstract/44/3/324/471260 Here it is. Dobash and Dobash (2004). More than 800 citations. The abstract doesn't make it clear that their sample is exclusively drawn from abusive men and their partners.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates16/11/22 12:56 AM
43

Well one study claimed that female-perpetrated violence was largely defensive based on a sample of consisting of men who were part of a batterers program, along with their wives/girlfriends. They constructed a sample that consisted exclusively of men who were DV perpetrators and women who were DV victims and extrapolated this to the general population. I've seen this study cited by articles downplaying DV against men.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates15/11/22 03:33 PM
50

You should see their DV research. Its shockingly poor quality and often ignores basic social science research principles.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates15/11/22 12:16 PM
33

While this is a good article overall I am hesitant regarding the idea that men are inherently more aggressive due to physiology. Studies on testosterone and aggression have had inconsistent results. My personal theory is that testosterone and male physiology in general is predisposed towards risk taking and short term physical arousal and that this indirectly mediates aggression levels (with this, and simple rational decision making leading men to more frequently choose direct physical confronta…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates15/11/22 11:29 AM
2

Edit: I just realized you are the same person I have reaponded to before with almost identical experiences/feelings on this topic as me so my example is probably npt necessary lol. Exactly! This is what shocked me also. Their narratives conflict not only with my experiences but also with the the experiences of most women who I have talked to. In some conversations I had people react with strong scepticism when I talked about things like needing to constantly apologise to and placate the abusive …
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates14/11/22 02:48 PM
3

Yeah exact same problem. I would love to be more active on men's issues related stuff but if my ex saw that I was talking about female perpetrated abuse she would instantly know why and there's no way I'm going to risk pissing her off again now that she has left me alone. I always find it suspicious when discussions about abuse center on whether people are 'believed' by the public when making accusations after the fact simply because in my experience facilitating after the fact social shaming of…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates14/11/22 02:31 PM
10

Yeah i saw academics in my country writing about hpw men who claim to be abused in relatuonships are actually just whining about dinner not being ready in time or other inconsequential things. Actual academics at respected universities who have access to the resources and studies showing that this is not the case. Just pure bias.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates14/11/22 12:57 AM
9

The UK is the worst for this shit. When I was leaving an abusive relationship I learned to just avoid resources published in the UK because I knew they were going to be egregiously sexist such as referring to me as a male victim of violence against women.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates14/11/22 12:55 AM
7

Most of the violence I have experienced came from female partners and none of it is recorded in any police statistics. The same goes for several men I know. The main form of violence that is disproportionately committed by men is random violence against strangers since that depends heavily on strength. But this is not the only important kind of violence. Violence between partners and against children is often comitted by women. Plus a lot of economically and socially motivated violence between m…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates14/11/22 12:11 AM
15

I don't think anyone here necessarily wants women to do anything. This is men's issue to address. I think it is more pointing out the level of contempt a lot of posts in feminist subs show for men. Generally the same people are happy to treat intimacy as an important need when it comes to the issue of high earning women struggling to find partners, but not for men. Its more about just being aware of it so you can empathise better in situations where it is relevant, for example if you see men tol…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates10/11/22 03:24 AM
1

I mean that there are many relationships with male victims and many with female victims. It seems that some people who see evidence that women are also violent in relationships assume that this means that abusive relationships are mostly bi-directionally abusive which is not the case.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates08/11/22 10:25 AM
3

Look I really disagree with this one. Specifically the characterization of domestic violence as a fight/shouting match that gets physical. Some milder violence between couples fits that model but most serious violence involves people with controlling personalities and empathy difficulties who use violence (physical and psychological) as a coercive tool. Sometimes both partners are like this but that is a minority of cases. It is true that often women are the perpetrators of this form of abuse an…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates05/11/22 05:22 AM
17

Unfortuately women now have an entire ideology that specifically prevents women from ever listening to men's experiences.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates01/11/22 01:35 AM
5

Yeah I'm really paranoid that I will say the wrong thing and offend a woman with an abusive personality and if she knows I have an ex like that as well they might back each other up to spite and then it's two people making accusations and no one will ever believe you then. My ex never went through with any accusations because of the evidence I have against her but every day the potential that she might have a bad few weeks and decide to target me again hangs over me. It feels like being gaslit h…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates29/10/22 12:09 AM
9

Yeah I have the same addiction. I sort of double traumatised myself after leaving by engaging with the Johnny Depp stuff and realising that the self-described experts and activists still wouldn't believe a man even with hours of recordings of textbook psychological abuse tactics. There's this really cold hostile tone that some people get where their empathy just switches off for men specifically. The moment you try to raise the issue it shifts and they treat you as just some mra incel whining ab…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates28/10/22 01:35 PM
3

“if you don’t get back together with my I will likely commit suicide”, but then called the next day to apologise profusely. I was distraught, but I still wouldn’t call it abuse. They were just really struggling, and a good person at heart who was losing themselves. Its difficult because its an emotional response to a particular trigger (such as being broken up with). The emotional pain they feel is real, just triggered by very minor things. There's no clear line between 'just struggling' and abu…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates27/10/22 11:39 AM
20

Literally the only time I ever see anyone claim that physical abuse is more traumatizing than psychological is when they are arguing in favor of focus on male perpetrators/female victims. Whenever that isn't the foremost topic, anybody with any personal experience or education on the subject focuses on psychological traumas. Yeah holy fuck it gets to me so much. Its so clearly just them reaching for an excuse to avoid examining their own cognitive bias. I had the same bias before experience chan…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates27/10/22 11:13 AM
2

Well no its also exaggerated for lethal outcomes because people often basically refuse to believe its even possible or a risk for men. Even the overall rate of about 1 man to 5 women is less extreme than the assumed difference. Plus the assumption people make is that this difference occurs because women are less abusive or less dangerous whereas I think it is mostly because abusive women are less likely to find themselves in the circumstances that motivate the murder of partners (hence why the r…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates27/10/22 10:52 AM
5

Yeah that's not abusive I'm not talking about stuff like that. The person I was with held a gun to their own head to stop me leaving the room after they hit me. Even just sitting or talking in a way they thought was disrespectful or was not giving them enough praise or attention could make them threaten suicide until I apologized enough to satisfy them. It was literally daily at some points.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates27/10/22 10:44 AM
10

but I think it’s also good to acknowledge that men end up killing women at a much higher rate. People do. Most men don't even conceive of the idea that a woman might end up being a genuine physical threat to them. Women literally do directly kill male partners in non self defense. Death threats from a woman are credible and frightening. And no suicide threats can be a massively fucked up form of abuse. It is desperation but so is all abuse. Abusive people feel desperate in normal circumstances. …
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates27/10/22 09:50 AM
2

Proportional differences are misleading for extremely rare events like murder. The difference is significant mostly in an abstract mathematical sense. Most people's likelihood of being murdered by someone they are dating is extremely small and in real terms is only very slightly higher for women. At the same time its common enough that its a serious concern for both men and women trying to leave abusers. The difference justifies putting more emphasis on physical protection for women leaving abus…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates27/10/22 09:43 AM
2

Intimate partner homicide should not be treated as simply a severe form of physical abuse. Often abusers who murder their partners were only mildly violent before the murder. Murder usually happens when the abuser feels a complete loss of control. The difference in murder rates used to be a lot smaller and women are much more likely to leave abusive relationships (and get custody etc when they do) so abusive women are far less likely to be in a position where they feel motivated to murder a male…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates27/10/22 06:44 AM
33

The main problem I have with the physical injury aspect is that while yes women are more likely to be injured on average, the limited fact that women are somewhat more at risk of physical injury is used as an excuse to treat male and female perpetrated abuse as qualitatively different when actually they are mostly quite similar in form and in consequences. Plus most stuff on abuse now has moved away from seeing abuse as a physical confrontation and focuses on the broader pattern of control, mani…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates27/10/22 06:20 AM
52

It gets to me so much constantly seeing things I have had done to me by women shown in this way as something only men do (The controlling abuse one in this case). I don't mind that the example shown is male abuser because I can sympathise just as much with female victims it's just the way it's so clearly targeted at men. And if I raise this anywhere that isn't this subreddit I know the response will be condescending feminists telling me to get therapy like i'm somehow in the wrong just for comme…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates27/10/22 01:33 AM
8

I guess I'm coming from my own experiences and I definitely do get enough hugs from family and friends but still feel intimacy starved. I guess there's a lot of different aspects. On one hand actual romantic/sexual closeness would be nice for its own sake. But also I have a very masculine personality and theres something very fulfilling about intimacy with someone who is very feminine. Sort of knowing that they trust you and that you make them feel safe and comforted etc and that they actually w…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates20/10/22 01:15 PM
7

Yeah sorry knew that but my comment sounded like it was disagreeing. Honestly I think it's just straight up romantic intimacy a lot of men are struggling to find, and I think even for some straight men if they don't get that anywhere else then m a gay man being affectionate towards them probably probably helps with that even in a very limited and mostly platonic way. Sexuality and intimacy are pretty messy like that.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates20/10/22 12:32 PM
30

The biggest problem is the assumption that (straight) women would be emotionally fine without male affection and from what I've seen that is not true. I think it's just easier for women to get affection from the opposite sex when they need it so they are less likely to ever feel that deficit. Imo men's isolation is mostly driven by the nature of modern interaction.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates20/10/22 11:55 AM
9

I think the drunk homoerotic behaviour is just a sort of numerous/ironic way of expressing friendship rather than being a repressed desire for intimacy.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates20/10/22 11:52 AM
20

Women in a college setting are so much more powerful than 90% of the men they interact with and they don't even realise it. They have no reference point to understand men's experiences or what actually being vulnerable to social/legal aggression is like so they wrongly assume that all men have the advantages that extremely rich and/or predatory men have.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates18/10/22 06:23 AM
27

I dated a woman in college who was physically and psychologically abusive who trapped me in the relationship using death threats and threats of false accusations. I basically had no choice but to stay because an accusation would have got me kicked out of college. I then had to go through domestic violence literature that told me what I was experiencing wasn't possible and had to see feminist campaigns describing the things I was experiencing from a woman as 'male violence' while telling me i was…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates18/10/22 06:16 AM
14

"But if you go over to askfeminists or another similar sub and the whole rhetoric is just blatantly punitive towards men with absolutely 0 nuance (men are always bad (or almost always bad), women have no institutional power, etc)." Yeah this is one of the things that has increasingly turned me off of feminism. Honestly the way they talk about men in feminist subreddits sometimes would make you sound like an extreme misogynist if said about women. I saw a TwoX post that talked about how dogs bein…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates17/10/22 08:50 AM
7

Honestly that idea from your teenage years is basically true, even if it is an exaggeration. Men tend to prioritise direct forms of power and women tend to prioritise social forms of power. I think this is simply because they find that these forms of power work for them early on in life (obviously it doesn't perfectly align with sex). If you prioritise social forms of power your self esteem and mental health will depend on affirming that you have peoples support and sympathy, whereas if you prio…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates11/10/22 12:20 AM
40

Yeah the conflict between what I was told and my experiences were what really changed my perspective on gender issues. Had it hammered into me how bad men were, only to spend years enduring serious abuse from a girlfriend. Found out that one of my friends grew up seeing his mum do the same thing to his dad, who lost custody when he fought back one time, and found out another friend had gone through similar things to me. Literally 4/6 of the girlfriends we had collectively been with had been phys…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates09/10/22 02:46 PM
4

Often its not a super malicious plan but just stupidity and not having the emotional regulation and understanding of consequences that adults have.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates26/09/22 08:30 AM
6

I would never go into teaching, especially with children, fro this exact reason. Children are idiots and lie a lot, often without really comprehending the potential consequences. If that happens you are basically unemployed or worse.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates26/09/22 08:29 AM
14

Incentives, plus men are stronger. Most public violent crime is socioeconomic, which tends to be male perpetrated because men select into provider roles. Women benefit from and encourage this kind of crime. The sex more responsible for protection and economic provision will always be overrepresented in crime. Men commit more crime for the same reasons there is more crime committed by African Americans. Crimes such as random murder and rape in public places are male dominated because they depend …
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates23/09/22 05:29 PM
9

Yeah I found out afterwards that my best friend saw his dad go through courts for DV charges for years after defending himself. My ex convinced me that her previous bf from before me was abusive to her before I realised she lied so I was also aware just how easy it would be for her to do that.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates21/09/22 06:47 PM
52

HOLY SHIT YES. This exact thing has been on my mind so much recently. The only way masculinity harmed me was to the extent that I felt I had a responsibility to endure suffering to help a woman, which is not an aspect of masculinity feminists ever acknowledge. Shame was the last thing on my mind. She was utterly terrifying and anybody who saw the situation would have seen that. Not once did I think of shame or masculinity. I think often guys who do are often actually just feeling vulnerable and …
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates21/09/22 06:12 PM
23

"male identity remains closely bound up with being a breadwinner." No. No it doesn't, Not one bit. Men remain preoccupied with being able to provide because they are treated as having less worth as people if they don't. As long as men receive less social and legal support and face pressure to make money in order to maintain intimate relationships they will prioritize developing their individual ability to provide for and support themselves and loved ones financially. This is a rational response …
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates21/09/22 07:26 AM
2

This. I have never experienced 'man-up' rhetoric from other men outside of school. The kinds of guys who talk like that as adults are a small immature minority. I think a lot of the time when men talk about feeling like their masculinity is threatened what they really mean is that they feel vulnerable or anxious or stressed but they just articulate it in terms of masculinity. So masculinity is sort of a metaphor for men's confidence in their ability to get by and handle the problems they face. I…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates21/09/22 07:01 AM
2

They would be Andrew Tate fans if they were male in non-liberal environment.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates14/09/22 04:16 PM
4

I generally would prefer more assertive women as partners but I go for agreeable women because it's a minefield out there and the last assertive woman I dated ended up leaving me traumatized after years of abuse. They never stop to consider that maybe men have reasons for being cautious when dating.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates14/09/22 04:13 PM
2

Nah it's just biased academically dishonest people coming up with shitty theories that help justify their biases and which are gratifying for them.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates14/09/22 04:07 PM
2

Yeah you really do need a proper social science research background to navigate through some of the trash that's out there
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates14/09/22 04:06 PM
0

Not really fascist. It was a standard developmental autocracy with some unique ideological/administrative elements.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates14/09/22 04:04 PM
3

Nah economics, psychology, and even most sociology is fine in this respect. Feminist 'researchers' are just louder. The 'studies' subjects are separate from actual social science.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates14/09/22 04:03 PM
3

As someone with a social science background and quantitative research abilities, a lot of feminist social science research is absolutely awful and methodologically flawed. They make glaring interpretive mistakes that most good psychologists or economists would immediately spot.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates14/09/22 03:59 PM
6

I mean I'm pretty sure 'pussy' as an insult comes from cats being easily frightened.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates13/09/22 02:42 AM
6

Extremely well put. I've seen some good stuff written by transgender men on how badly people started treating them once they transitioned and other people saw them as male.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates13/09/22 02:41 AM
2

I don't think its that. I think its from cats being easily startled.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates13/09/22 02:39 AM
19

Its related to cats being timid. I'm 99% sure the gendered aspect of 'pussy' is pure coincidence.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates13/09/22 02:30 AM
2

The total hours are fairly similar and the fact that the difference between men and women is so similar across each region suggests its an artifact of question design etc rather than a meaningful difference. Also consider the intensity/danger of the work and travel times etc. Really all this shows is that people tend to cooperate and share workloads overall and that couples where one partner takes advantage of the other are not specific to either gender.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates27/08/22 08:18 AM
9

Yeah you do have to be careful who you talk about IPV experiences as a man because you say one wrong word and you will get criticized as if you are attacking women in general when you described your partner/ex-partner's behaviour, and especially if you discuss the difficulties that come with the lack of recognition that your experiences are possible. Usually you can only speak to close female friends or women who have IPV experiences themselves (and hence can direct empathize). Women who see you…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates25/08/22 07:32 PM
6

I disagree with the whole notion. Men don't talk in depth about feelings AS MUCH because it is less helpful for them. Men have grown up physically strong and treated with suspicion and hostility. Mostly they re-affirm their mental health by reassuring themselves of their capacity to support and protect themselves and by seeking to affirm that they are socially trusted and importantly safe. rather than wanting to go super in depth about specific emotions and receiving extensive verbal sympathy. W…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates25/08/22 07:25 PM
1

Its more violence specifically towards partners, driven by low empathy. It is actually very different to other kinds of disputes. Its not really a dispute but one partner using coercion to punish and control the other to satisfy their own self-esteem and abandonment fears. There are a lot of partner-only abusers because people's self-esteem is uniquely tied to their intimate relationships.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates24/08/22 03:29 PM
2

I think its because abusive women gained A LOT more ways to socially and legally harm men over that time period. Notably most men killed are cohabiting or dating their killers rather than married to them which sort of supports my theory. Plus Black women, who have far less trust in legal forms of violence than white women kill black men just as much as the reverse.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates23/08/22 12:38 PM
-1

Depends on the demographic. Generally majority male-perpetrated. Partly because men are physically stronger but also because men are much more risk-taking and so abusive men are more willing to go and kill partners who leave them without thinking about the consequences. Abusive women usually resort to other tactics and only usually murder if they are very confident they can get away with it. Its still a notable risk for men though. usually the ratio is around 1 male victim for every 4 female. No…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates23/08/22 12:35 PM
1

What 'incel' really means is that a guy is unattractive and/or poor. Feminists, like conservatives, think that men only deserve to be treated like human beings if they are successful/have something to give. Feminists know that it looks hypocritical for them to use gendered insults while at the same time insisting that the gender norms they reinforce are part of patriarchy, so they use 'incel' to express the same idea in a superficially 'progressive' way. The moment they have the slightest excuse…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates01/08/22 11:05 AM
10

Yeah I guess. But the thing is there are certain men and subcultures who's idea of masculinity DOES align with the feminist idea, but they are a distinct minority and associate with each other. I guess I should say there's no single masculinity. And also a lot of the time ideas people talk about are just interpretations of underlying ideas that come from experiences mixed with personality so I think the idea that people 'learn' things like masculinity from the outside and then just behave a cert…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates28/07/22 03:06 PM
68

The real problem is that there is no such thing as 'masculinity'. The construct itself is something feminists with absolutely zero perspective on men's experiences and beliefs have concocted in order to blame the actions of predators on men in general and to blame men for their own problems. It would be like taking negative attributes typical of 'mean girl' high school bullies (manipulativeness, vindictiveness, entitlement, narcissism, victim complex etc) and calling it 'femininity' and then say…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates28/07/22 02:04 PM
1

Yeah I agree patriarchy theory is largely incoherent and divorced from reality but the word itself can be used to describe a variety of different ideas etc.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates27/07/22 03:33 PM
2

Yeah for feminists it is that. I'm saying that notion that women are incapable of being morally bad etc is also a patriarchal notion in that actually patriarchal cultures also strongly support this notion.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates27/07/22 03:02 PM
2

Yeah you have to shift it from 'oppressor/oppressed' to 'bias regarding gender that negatively, and differently affect both men and women'. The concept of misandry is useful to describe pathological contempt for men among certain people but the concept of oppression simply cannot be applied to gender in the West without basically turning to shit and enabling discrimination against men.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates27/07/22 02:59 PM
2

I mean it basically is. Its the men = dominant and possessing agency vs women helpless and lacking agency idea. A lot of feminists these days end up aligned with some types of older conservative men on this issue because of this. Obviously the way feminists formulate it is misandrist rather than patriarchal.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates27/07/22 02:54 PM
23

I'm against imprisonment where possible but yeah its basically just the same cognitive bias towards viewing women as inherently good and men as deserving to suffer that causes other things. Ironically its extremely patriarchal. Women who commit crimes are assumed to simply be mentally ill, traumatized, or forced into it, as if women are incapable of exercising agency and being bad people. I imagine at least some of the activists are pretty fucked up people themselves and genuinely empathize with…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates27/07/22 05:18 AM
3

Yeah I spent ages just holding my nose and reading domestic violence information that told me what I was experiencing was impossible. I'm glad I did because that information potentially saved my life but holy shit it was difficult to get through. And holy shit the pretending to care about male abuse victims really pissed me off during the Depp trial. They use the DARVO concept in a way which makes it impossible to defend yourself against false allegations unless you accuse them first, which for …
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates23/07/22 08:35 AM
3

Almost identical process for me. My two closest male friends had similar experiences and I didn't have a clue until I discussed what I had gone through after finally getting my ex out my life. The domestic violence research by feminist scholars is what really stunned me. There are literally studies that get cited regularly that claim women's abusive behavior is only defensive and usually harmless based on studying a sample comprised entirely of convicted male abusers and their female partners (i…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates23/07/22 07:29 AM
4

Yeah they really latch on to the fact that it is mostly quite masculine (which should be expected from a man writing what is basically a war story) as well as superficial things related to the romantic fantasy aesthetic (such as elf women all being beautiful). In actual fact characters like Boromir etc who align more with the kinds of masculinity that feminists criticize are antagonists in LOTR, and while men and women in middle earth tend to generally align with 'traditional' masculine and femi…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates23/07/22 07:22 AM
4

Definitely a broad spectrum. Basically comes down to the way that feminism has reinforced the idea that men are bad/oppressors/deserving of collective punishment, so even women who are otherwise good people struggle to empathize with men because they have been taught to assume that anything negative a man says about his experiences with women is misogyny.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates23/07/22 06:44 AM
4

I just can't handle the present domination of feminism over leftist spaces. I see talk about buzz phrases like emotional labor, and it just sends me spinning into a dark depressive rage. Yeah very similar feelings at the moment. The main issue is simply that most women aren't aware of men's experiences, which makes them susceptible to lies spun by abusive women. The one or two female friends I have talked to have always had massive looks of surprise on their face when I told them them about how …
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates23/07/22 06:22 AM
3

Fuck this hit hard. Especially the 'second job' part. Spent 6 years doing the exact same thing. Spent every day following her rules and being her emotional and sometimes physical punching bag. When you have spent so much time giving grovelling apologies for things like having the wrong facial expression because you know she might kill herself or stab you to death if you don't placate her enough its so insulting to see feminists complain about emotional labor just because they have to treat their…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates23/07/22 05:53 AM
3

Complaining about being oppressed by men while expressing entitlement to domination over them was like her whole personality. Yeah there is so much contempt in the way they talk. Much like far-right groups/racists they portray themselves as powerful victims. Imagine a black South African under apartheid talking like feminists - saying things like 'these pathetic trash whites need to be called out on their shitty behaviour'. It sounds so weird and out of place because it doesn't make sense for pe…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates23/07/22 05:32 AM
9

This so much. They have seen the worst examples of abusive men, as well as high school boys with poor impulse control and no life experiences being crass, and think this is how all men act. They don't realize that most men actually do not tell other men to man up when they express emotional pain, most do at least sometimes discuss their emotions and support each other, and most men do not judge each other based on how many women they have slept with and do not think they are entitled to control …
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates22/07/22 10:57 AM
4

It makes out relationships to be incredibly transactional and emotional isolation to be a normal expectation. This is such a good point. Its part of why I suspect a lot of these people are really fucked up emotionally. I can't even imagine approaching relationships with this sort of coldness. I've seen them talking about 'setting rules' for partners and how to reprimand them for unacceptable 'behavior' like they are training an animal which seems really bizarre and unhealthy to me. Usually its o…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates22/07/22 10:41 AM
12

This is why they fight so hard to support the idea of patriarchy being something men as a group inflict on women, rather than seeing that gender biases have complex origins and affect both men and women negatively. It should be so clear that this person is seriously fucked up, but because feminism has primed the person reading to view women as pure victims of men at the group level they assume that this person's misandry is harmless or driven by legitimate resentment of violence by men against w…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates22/07/22 10:30 AM
5

I mean really this is what abusive behavior is, just the lower end of the spectrum. Take that mentality, increase the intensity, and you have someone who gets violent over normal things, rarely bothers empathizing with others, and makes threats etc to establish control in relationships because they learned that if they do not have power in some form they will be victims instead. Their partner disobeying them or upsetting them in any way is viewed as a serious threat and they feel victimized. The…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates22/07/22 09:18 AM
7

Yeah when I see feminists complain about men 'using women as therapists' and the stuff they talk about is stuff men deal with constantly in relationships. Often its just normal emotional support people should give their partners. Its a symptom of how much harm certain strains of feminism have done in terms of convincing women that it is impossible for women to hurt men physically or emotionally. If you have been taught that men have 'power' and 'privilege' then its easy to assume any man hurt by…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates22/07/22 09:08 AM
2

Honestly I suspect many of those radfems are abusive themselves. The dismissal of false allegations hurts women as well, because false allegations actually do happen to female abuse victims a fair bit. I tried to point out that the way the DARVO concept is used is dangerous because it basically means you have to make accusations first or else be vulnerable to false allegations which is a huge problem for domestic abuse victims because making accusations is way too dangerous for most to even cons…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates22/07/22 09:05 AM
7

Its a way of basically blaming men for their own suffering. Misandrist feminists use it to basically shut down any discussion of men's issues. Most women don't have much perspective on men's experiences so normal non-misandrist women assume that what misandrist feminists say about men's issues being caused by men refusing to 'open up' is true. Including this pretend sympathy for men who struggle to open up helps convince normal women that misandrist feminists don't hate men which allows them to …
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates22/07/22 08:18 AM
5

Disgust mediates negative perceptions of out-groups and desire to punish. Basically makes women more inclined to see bad things done by men as particularly 'gross' and uncceptable than if a woman did it.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates08/07/22 08:10 PM
3

Men have a weaker disgust reflex and lack the common experience of being physically weaker than the opposite sex (people feel less empathy for those physically larger than themselves)
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates08/07/22 01:02 PM
8

tbh its not really a mental health issue. Its a learned personality style. A small number of people learn to be sociopaths with no empathy who rely on outside validation for self-esteem. Male sociopaths just have fewer avenues to boost their self-esteem than female sociopaths. They don't get as much emotional and/or economic support by pretending to be victims and are much stronger and more comfortable with weapons and so are more likely to turn to violence to make themselves feel powerful.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates07/07/22 09:55 AM
4

I'm pretty sure that case was a 'mutual violent control' relationship where both partners were violent/controlling abusers. A lot of cases with severe violence are. Apparently when arrested she said it was because he didn't satisfy her sexually. It sounds like she was worse than him though.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates07/07/22 09:06 AM
2

Idk he just always seemed like one of the best example of idealized masculinity for me.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates03/07/22 03:30 PM
1

Basically Samwise Gamgee
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates03/07/22 03:11 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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