TheRedArchive

~ archived since 2018 ~

Dirty_Lew Archive

View 2 posts and 25 comments by Dirty_Lew on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
Search in:
In subreddits:
More
Filter by year/month:
Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
18

Dirty_Lew/r/Divorce_Men12/02/26 07:31 PM
10

Dirty_Lew/r/Divorce_Men19/02/26 09:11 PM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
1

It’s a pretty big clue!
/r/Divorce_Men05/03/26 12:37 PM
0

In her own words she said she was selfish.
/r/Divorce_Men04/03/26 10:51 PM
3

This is a similar situation to where I’m at. Child support for three kids plus spousal support means she gets more than half my take home pay. But you know what, when we were married, she was spending about 90% of my take home pay. I make six figures and basically gave myself a $50 allowance every week when I was married. Even though she now gets half of my pay, I still have way more spending cash than I ever allowed myself during the marriage. So I’ve got my budget squared away for myself and l…
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/26 01:58 PM
10

This one is tough. My ex was exactly my type in the looks department. I think the frame of mind I’m taking is just one of “I’m not going to settle.” For me that’s more in the personality/emotional maturity area because that was the cause of the toxicity in the marriage. But physical attraction is still a high priority, just maybe not the highest.
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/26 01:44 PM
1

It’s not about me knowing about their mother’s dating life, it’s about the kids knowing. It’s about treating my teenage daughter as an emotional sounding board. I’m worried that she’s starting to put too big of an emotional burden on our daughter.
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/26 04:25 PM
1

Thank you, this is great actionable advice.
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/26 01:16 PM
2

Of course it’s more exciting, but it’s inappropriate. It blurs the lines between being a parent and a friend. It starts to create a situation in which my daughter becomes the emotional sounding board for her mother, and then potentially becomes responsible for her mother’s emotional wellbeing. Look up ‘Emotional Parentification’. Where a child becomes a parent’s confidant, it can place an unnecessary emotional burden on the child. I’m not saying it’s at that level yet, but I’m concerned it’s tre…
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/26 01:14 PM
2

I think it’s inappropriate. It’s not about being comfortable. I think it’s irresponsible of my ex and am concerned that it’s manipulative.
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/26 12:56 AM
1

Yeah, that was about during the marriage. I was expressing that I’ve realized making her happy was a futile effort.
/r/Divorce_Men19/02/26 10:30 PM
5

Would it be “sweet” if I shared details about my dating life with her? IMO that would be inappropriate. Especially about someone that I had been dating for less than a month.
/r/Divorce_Men19/02/26 10:23 PM
3

Where did I mention I’m trying to make her happy? I’m coming at this from the perspective that it would be inappropriate for myself to share info about my dates with girls with my kids. I’m worried that my ex is subtly manipulating my teenage daughter by acting like more of a friend than a parent, and my daughter is too young to understand that. I care because it’s feeling like my daughter is starting to take “sides”.
/r/Divorce_Men19/02/26 10:08 PM
5

If you didn’t agree to that stuff don’t sign a letter that you agreed to it. Especially with it getting notarized. Sounds like she’s trying to manipulate the situation. I’d recommend getting an attorney ASAP and don’t do anything outside of the legal process that you aren’t required to. Her buying a house isn’t your problem. It’s her responsibility to do it without you. There will be divorce papers at the end of the process she can use to get a loan. Tell her you need to research it and consult …
/r/Divorce_Men17/02/26 06:17 PM
1

In my case, I pay for the insurance and the uninsured medical costs were split according to salary. For me that’s 78/22. I also pay $2800 per month in child and spousal support. The insurance I pay was factored into the child support calculation.
/r/Divorce_Men16/02/26 09:05 PM
1

We have three kids so hardcore no contact is impossible.
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/26 07:19 AM
1

Thank you. I’m glad I posted. I know logically I shouldn’t do it, but my emotions are all screwed up still. I appreciate the perspective and support.
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/26 04:33 AM
0

My ex is so pretty, she’s just my type. It’s been so hard looking around at other women because of that. I’m sure she’s got guys falling over themselves for her attention and she’s eating it up. I’m not a bad looking guy but the experience just seems to be night and day.
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/26 12:33 AM
1

We coparent so we’re trying to at least remain amicable.
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/26 12:30 AM
0

I guess I am hoping for some sort of reaction. I want her to feel some guilt for the hurt she’s caused me, for ruining my dreams of the future together, and breaking our family apart.
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/26 12:28 AM
3

My therapist suggested the same thing; write the letter but destroy it after as a symbol of letting it go.
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/26 12:24 AM
1

There are three kids. It’s so hard because “no contact” is impossible.
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/26 12:13 AM
1

The best advice i can give is to take a day alone and really sit and think about the history of your marriage. Look at all the signs you chose to ignore because you were in love. For me, there were many I glazed over because I had the marriage blinders on. To that point, I’ve recruited my sister in law to send a daily “remember that time…” text. Like a daily affirmation, but an ex-wife criticism. Lol. It’s honestly helpful. It’s easy to only remember the happy times but helps to be reminded abou…
/r/Divorce_Men08/02/26 08:29 PM
7

You need to think about YOUR future. Don’t give up YOUR future, for your kids sake and your own. Remind yourself that this was her decision and she needs to own the consequences of that decision. You don’t need to be spiteful but you also don’t need to fall on sword. You can make some compromises, perhaps for the kids sake, but you probably shouldn’t give up more than you’d be legally obligated to. You’re still going to be father and will need assets to do that properly.
/r/Divorce_Men08/02/26 03:28 PM
1

For the financial: who gets to claim the kids for tax purposes. I overlooked that and regret it. The tax credit for each kid is like $6k. Times three kids and how ever many years ends up being a huge chunk of money. Maybe you get to claim one child and she claims the other two. But at least have a plan.
/r/Divorce_Men07/02/26 03:27 PM
9

I’d recommend therapy and the gym. I moved out three months ago and am still very much struggling with it. I thought I was getting better a month ago , then some stuff came up and it hit me like a ton of bricks again, worse than when we first separated. It’s a rollercoaster for sure. I’ve also been reading “When Things Fall Apart” which has been helpful for some perspective. It’s heavy with Buddhist principles and how to apply them to the chaos of life.
/r/Divorce_Men07/02/26 11:56 AM
15

This resonates. I feel like so much of my identity was tied to my role as a husband and father in the structure of the nuclear family. I loved playing that role. Now that the structure is gone I feel lost.
/r/Divorce_Men06/02/26 08:11 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

© TheRedArchive 2026. All rights reserved.
created by /u/dream-hunter