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DivorceDaddy Archive

View 3 posts and 68 comments by DivorceDaddy on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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1

DM'd you
/r/Divorce_Men05/03/26 01:50 AM
1

DM Sent
/r/Divorce_Men05/03/26 01:49 AM
1

Greatest day ever
/r/Divorce_Men25/08/24 01:04 AM
1

Three words: Men-o-pause
/r/Divorce_Men24/08/24 06:28 PM
1

Texting that guy yesterday was just so out of character for me. I feel like I'm making dumb decisions and not acting like myself. You're becoming a new person. This is a good thing.
/r/Divorce_Men31/05/24 04:45 PM
2

Work on yourself until you can easily get laid.
/r/ExRedPill27/05/24 06:27 PM
3

not everyone is capable of getting laid Getting laid shows that you're capable of getting laid and dissolves its importance. Like the saying "Sex is like air; it's not important unless you aren't getting any"
/r/ExRedPill27/05/24 04:03 PM
2

Only you know if you're ready. Go on some dates and check in with yourself on how you feel. There almost certainly will be some weirdness as you meet new people. Make sure that you're not repeating old patterns (make all new mistakes!)
/r/Divorce_Men23/05/24 05:52 PM
11

When it comes to women, the relationship is over when the tears stop. You've got to do the same thing. Like others have said here, you're now in a business negotiation. Put the emotions aside and get it done.
/r/Divorce_Men22/05/24 03:48 PM
2

Psychedelics might not be for you then Don't take them with your son.
/r/Divorce_Men22/05/24 02:44 PM
2

This guy knows how to do a healing journey
/r/Divorce_Men22/05/24 02:12 PM
1

Marijuana isn't a psychedelic. Try this book. Or this one. Look into meditation as well.
/r/Divorce_Men22/05/24 02:11 PM
3

Wish the men luck
/r/Divorce_Men26/04/24 11:12 AM
3

All you can do is take full responsibility for where you are, and then make steps on improving yourself. Don't worry about her. Focus on yourself.
/r/Divorce_Men23/04/24 03:04 PM
4

/r/overemployed maybe
/r/Divorce_Men23/04/24 02:05 PM
7

Just move on. Spite costs 10x more than you'll ever get out of it.
/r/Divorce_Men23/04/24 10:16 AM
2

I hear you. I've had similar thoughts. It's difficult to quantify emotions. Quantifying is language of the mind, and we're talking about emotions. You could try journaling and giving your emotional state a score each day. That would give you some context when you look back. But it's always going to come back to feelings.
/r/Divorce_Men22/04/24 09:18 PM
4

Here’s how it was explained to me You’re on an upward spiral. You’re improving daily Some days you’ll feel worse. Some days you’ll feel better. But your highs will be higher and your lows will be higher than your previous lows. Look at the chart of a stock that’s mooning. Higher highs and higher lows You are becoming more aware. That’s why you’re feeling those lows. It’s a good thing. Keep going.
/r/Divorce_Men22/04/24 04:24 PM
1

I think of it as paying her to go away
/r/Divorce_Men22/04/24 03:18 PM
5

What’s he into? I made times with my kids all about them. That way they connected naturally because they knew I was interested in whatever they were doing.
/r/Divorce_Men22/04/24 03:17 PM
7

People are free to ask for whatever they want. Doesn’t mean they’ll get it.
/r/Divorce_Men22/04/24 01:23 PM
1

I know it's hard to see where you're at, but there's a massive opportunity ahead for growth. Don't give in to the fear, and anger.
/r/Divorce_Men19/04/24 04:50 PM
1

Pretty much what I figured. Thanks for the extra insight.
/r/Divorce_Men18/04/24 05:19 PM
9

Genuine question. Has therapy helped to save anyone’s relationship? I keep seeing it get slammed here
/r/Divorce_Men18/04/24 01:46 PM
7

There’s a misconception here about masculinity Being manly/macho/whatever isn’t about being robotic. It’s not about suppressing feelings — except occasionally short term. You have feelings for a reason. They’re part of the human experience. They give you important feedback about you, your environment, and the people around you It’s absolutely insane to want ignore them Don’t be driven by them Listen to them but don’t take them on It’s natural to feel grief. It’s the end of a relationship Feel it…
/r/Divorce_Men18/04/24 12:54 PM
12

Grey rock is your best friend. Keep it up.
/r/Divorce_Men17/04/24 09:53 PM
2

Interesting. What was your biggest insight from it?
/r/Divorce_Men05/04/24 01:13 AM
1

Thanks for the reply. Yes a call would be amazing. LMK if these times don't work for you and I can find some more.
/r/Divorce_Men02/04/24 07:06 PM
3

This is great. Thank you.
/r/Divorce_Men02/04/24 01:38 AM
2

The gym saved my life too
/r/Divorce_Men02/04/24 01:26 AM
2

I'm very sorry for your loss. I can't imagine dealing with that pain If you ever need to vent, please reach out
/r/Divorce_Men02/04/24 01:25 AM
2

Thanks for your message. Really helpful. We must maintain composure when someone attacks our character You hit the nail on the head here. We're not good at this.
/r/Divorce_Men02/04/24 01:18 AM
1

I think a lot of stems from the whiplash from society telling us one thing about women Why do you think this narrative exists?
/r/Divorce_Men02/04/24 01:17 AM
1

The truth does not matter This definitely hurts. I feel you.
/r/Divorce_Men02/04/24 01:11 AM
1

I could chew your damn ear off for well longer than 30 mins if you wanted me to detail everything. I've repeated the shit so many times now (friends, family, therapist, even this reddit). Yes please -- this would be amazing. Thank you for the offer.
/r/Divorce_Men02/04/24 01:10 AM
1

Once I realized the benefits over what I was losing, I am so freaking glad I got divorced and want to slap my old self silly for thinking it could possibly be worse Great realization. I went through something similar.
/r/Divorce_Men02/04/24 01:07 AM
3

its really simple. women have a far bigger social circle to rely on than men This theme keeps coming up. I figure a lot of us sacrifice those connections in order to further our career to provide for our family.
/r/Divorce_Men02/04/24 01:06 AM
1

Super interesting. What was it that flipped the switch from hard to easy mode? Was it just leaving her, or was there something deeper?
/r/Divorce_Men02/04/24 01:04 AM
1

Divorce is hard because it's someone holding up a mirror, and many men don't like what they see. Instead of leveling up their career/body/mind/fatherhood, they'd rather level up a video game character. A man's burden of performance never ends. Great answer. I liked this especially. Many men certainly live in a fantasy.
/r/Divorce_Men02/04/24 01:00 AM
4

Divorce has been brutal for me because I made a promise that I did not weigh lightly and was bound to I feel you brother. Promises are critical to us. We're not men without living up to them
/r/Divorce_Men02/04/24 12:59 AM
2

Great reply. Thanks, it made me think. society has made it almost impossible for anybody to really know us as people, as men, we seem to have to hide away from a lot of our healthy masculinity, because its called toxic This is exactly what I'm thinking about. I'm trying to figure out what it is specifically about men -- which attribute, or which action that we take that makes divorce so difficult for us?
/r/Divorce_Men02/04/24 12:56 AM
2

How was the process of separation difficult?
/r/Divorce_Men02/04/24 12:54 AM
1

Thanks for your answers. Really helpful.
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/24 11:59 PM
2

How did you address that? I can imagine that mindset keeping you frozen in place.
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/24 11:55 PM
1

Its society viewport (outdated) that men must provide and ignore their own well being Not sure I agree here. I don't know if it's so much a view as it is an instinct. It's nearly impossible to override a millennia of instinct in the matter of a few years. Another reason why men are painted the villain is it works in family court I agree here.
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/24 05:01 PM
1

The foremost psychological need for any man is the belief that they belong to this world Your first sentence here reminded me of Man's Search for Meaning by Victor Frankl. Another feeling it invokes is the serious self-doubt I imagine a big part of that self-doubt comes from thinking you did it right the first time -- and having it blow up in your face. One bitten twice shy sort of mentality. I believe that the greatest strength any human being posses is the feeling of being loved We're hard wir…
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/24 04:13 PM
3

Really interesting point about Flowers. It sent me down a rabbit hole of thinking how women 'don't need no man' ... so doesn't that imply that we're not giving them what they want / need? And if that's true, who do we need to become? Is our role as men changing? Super interesting. Thanks for the thoughts.
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/24 03:45 PM
5

Men have a tendency to make a marriage thier whole identity being called the villain is what destroys men and causes the hardship that you're referring to One of the things I'm struggling to articulate is why men get called the villain. What is it about us that makes us villains? Or maybe a better question is -- what makes someone CALL us the villain even if we don't see ourselves that way?
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/24 03:21 PM
1

So she wanted to end it, but didn't want to look bad? Is that the right read? So that ties back to the loneliness / lack of support in that we often are made out to be villains and we're therefore isolated?
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/24 03:17 PM
1

How much of that is her projection (esp the cheating part), or a shit test?
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/24 02:46 PM
1

how many times are women asked if they cheated, were abusive, or are gay? Can you expand on this a bit? Super interested in this vein.
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/24 02:25 PM
4

Yeah, I spent 5 years there. Anti-depressants made me numb. I did not enjoy that time in my life. I got to the point where I realized that the fight wasn't worth it. I just gave away whatever my ex wanted (except for time with my kids). She could have it -- I'd just make more. I used the anger as fuel -- which worked for a while.
/r/Divorce_Men28/03/24 03:32 PM
11

She does this because she doesn't want to be held responsible for her actions. The worse her actions, the worse she'll avoid responsibility. Don't expect her to have a realization. She won't. Move on and focus on yourself.
/r/Divorce_Men27/03/24 05:19 PM
1

Look, you can displace your anger at me, or you can start figuring out what is really pissing you off. Your choice. It really is that simple.
/r/Divorce_Men27/03/24 01:35 AM
-2

Do the work until it is. It's not going to get any easier.
/r/Divorce_Men27/03/24 01:11 AM
2

Go get 'em
/r/Divorce_Men26/03/24 10:50 PM
1

Make sure you're feeling it and that you're not in your head. Big difference.
/r/Divorce_Men26/03/24 07:05 PM
4

Anyhow, as you can image I'm struggling with a high level of anger, frustration and injustice trauma. Can you please offer me some advice on how to cope with this? I'm already aware of therapy, exercise, meditation, let it go, think of the future, forget the past, approaches. Anything else you can think of? Maybe using the anger as a motivator? I used anger as fuel for a long time. I was very successful. In the long run, it's not sustainable, so I would only use it for a while. Use anger to get …
/r/Divorce_Men26/03/24 06:28 PM
5

So don't react. Simple.
/r/Divorce_Men26/03/24 03:34 PM
19

She's not thinking. She's feeling. Thought and feeling aren't compatible. Don't let her drag you into her emotions. Do your best to become non-reactive.
/r/Divorce_Men26/03/24 02:34 PM
1

Here's the link to book an call: https://calendly.com/divorce-daddy/market-research-call?month=2024-03
/r/Divorce_Men26/03/24 01:59 PM
2

You also have to factor in what the fight will cost, both in time, attention and money. You might spend $100k to save $50k. I wish I had just made a deal and moved on instead of fighting for "what's right"
/r/Divorce_Men25/03/24 07:00 PM
2

;)
/r/Divorce_Men25/03/24 01:46 PM
22

100%+ I left with the clothes on my back and a BS child support payment Five years later, I had 10x what I had before the split. Anger can be a hell of a motivator.
/r/Divorce_Men24/03/24 06:03 PM
3

Stealing this.
/r/Divorce_Men22/03/24 06:37 PM
4

In my opinion women are a waste of time Brother, you're angry now, but deep down you know this isn't true. The wrong woman is a waste of time. Now go find the right one.
/r/Divorce_Men22/03/24 02:36 PM
3

It sounds like you've put her on a pedestal. When you put someone above you, they have no choice but to look down at you. You're getting a divorce. It would serve you not to love her like no other. For your own sake, get out of your emotions and get ready to move on.
/r/Divorce_Men22/03/24 01:04 PM
5

"Sorry, I'm busy that day"
/r/Divorce_Men18/03/24 02:14 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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