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DivorcedConfused Archive

View 4 posts and 46 comments by DivorcedConfused on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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3

I read that book. I was definitely in anxious attachment style before my divorce but now I am more of the avoidant attachment style
/r/Divorce_Men10/08/21 04:36 PM
2

I am taking a break right now. Unfortunately I have several women that still have feelings in my peripheral that are a temptation to me
/r/Divorce_Men10/08/21 04:16 PM
6

You are right. I really do like being alone. I sleep better. But… I love dating and I enjoy sex and this has been my struggle
/r/Divorce_Men10/08/21 03:44 PM
3

I agree. This is literally one of those “It’s not you it’s me moments”. I am on a break from dating right now because I realized it was my problem.
/r/Divorce_Men10/08/21 03:43 PM
4

This is just a power play. You have a hot woman that needs you. The bar is set lower for them. The problem is, when they don’t need you then you have set yourself up for failure. I used to do this until I got burned for the last time. I prefer now women that genuinely desire me. The sex is much better and I sure well at night.
/r/Divorce_Men03/08/21 10:10 PM
4

Most of the women I date are divorced women. I am in my mid 40’s and them in 30-40’s. All have kids at different stages. They have been through the same shit I went through. They understand. Some of them have no desire to remarry, have more kids or even cohabitate with a guy. I am clear. I say look I am just casually dating. I have no plans at this point to remarry. I had kids and don’t want more. If that’s not cool with you I understand and we can go our own ways. I communicate this either via …
/r/seduction22/07/21 01:25 AM
20

This has actually been my strategy in dating post divorce and it has been amazing. I let the women I meet know that I am in no way ready for a relationship and that I can be a good friend, lover or both and that’s all. I don’t lie. I don’t get jealous. I don’t judge. I don’t put pressure. I have a great time with them. When on a date I give them my entire attention. Women open up to me about all kinds of things and I treat them well. I always take them out on dates (dinner, drinks, dancing, trip…
/r/seduction21/07/21 10:18 PM
1

Good for you mate. Your protective gesture greased the wheels of seduction. Made yourself stand out from the rest.
/r/seduction15/07/21 07:22 PM
1

Ah ok I get it. We always ended up having sex because it was mutually good but it left her and I feeling like shit afterwards. Eventually both her and I agreed it was not good mentally for us to continue. We had huge issues between us and the sex just covered them up. Both needed to heal. If she had rejected me I would have felt the same way. I probably would have been grateful for the rejection because it would have made it easy to replace her. It wasn’t. It took me a long while to get over her…
/r/Divorce_Men15/07/21 04:11 AM
6

Did that a few times. It’s a hard habit to break. I was still attracted to her. I still had love for her. Even after she cheated on me multiple times (found out after she asked for divorce). Sex was the only thing we did right. Ultimately I realized it left me feeling like shit afterwards. Like I was betraying myself and giving her power. I stopped cold turkey and never went back. I looked for other women to take her place. Women that really did want me around. Women that weren’t pathological li…
/r/Divorce_Men14/07/21 08:14 PM
1

Go for it. We need more advocates for men. The law is biased and not caught up to the modern reality of gender equality.
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/21 03:30 PM
1

This sub, family, friends, other divorced people I meet and talk to.
/r/Divorce_Men11/07/21 05:28 AM
2

But you are miserable with her dude. Family will get over it. You can’t live your life pleasing others at your expense. That’s a recipe for a shitty and short life. You only live this life once make the best of it. After my divorce I met lots of wonderful women that treated me 1000 times better than my ex. I regretted not divorcing earlier.
/r/Divorce_Men09/07/21 01:06 PM
9

Why do you feel the need to justify it? Marriage is not forced on you. Get out while you are young and no kids.
/r/Divorce_Men09/07/21 05:10 AM
1

It’s not all roses though. Sometimes loneliness hits during those dry spells. Fortunately they don’t last long. It’s usually feast or famine out here though.
/r/Divorce_Men06/07/21 09:07 PM
2

I am in my 40s. 3 kids (one in college, two in high school). No alimony just child support. She works and has a masters.
/r/Divorce_Men06/07/21 09:05 PM
2

Had to lookup “she was a beard”. Never heard that term before. Glad it worked out for you. You have what I eventually want. A relationship of mutual love and respect and no kids forcing you to stay.
/r/Divorce_Men06/07/21 09:04 PM
8

I sleep like a baby. I save more money than ever in my 20 year marriage. I am able to execute on any plan I have with no compromise. I buy whatever the fuck I want. Go wherever I feel like going. Flirt and sleep with any women that are interested (and there are many). Women treat me with desire and respect. My relationship with my kids has actually improved exponentially. I swear that the best part of my marriage was the divorce. On top of that. I live a simpler life. I have money but don’t need…
/r/Divorce_Men06/07/21 08:52 PM
1

I freaking loved the movie.
/r/Divorce_Men03/07/21 02:53 AM
1

I appreciate your comment. I’ve met plenty of wonderful women that were in my shoes too. I don’t blame all women just my ex. I have made genuine efforts to be picky with the women I date and have been very fortunate to meet very good women along the way.
/r/Divorce_Men27/06/21 04:31 AM
8

When I was going through my divorce I figured something out that really helped me get over her. I figured out that there are two versions of my ex wife: 1) The idealized woman that I thought was my soul mate and 2)The scheming lying, cheating bitch that she really was. I came to the conclusion that only one was real 2) and the other was a figment of my imagination. That helped me fall out of love with her and helped me move on. Once I did that I started dating and finding women that treated me s…
/r/Divorce_Men26/06/21 02:35 AM
3

Everyone I know says Tinder is for sex. I guess the demographics I pick > 32 is not the sex demographic because all of them want a relationship. I am fit, I do well financially and I seem to smell like marriage material so I get automatically placed in the relationship category.
/r/Divorce_Men26/06/21 02:07 AM
6

If you have no ties, assets, kids, home and there is no love then it will not be so difficult to end it. When you have those it’s painful. Get out while it’s easy.
/r/Divorce_Men22/06/21 04:14 AM
5

Remember this. Remember in the future when she needs you. Remember when she tries to manipulate you with pity. I am always grateful for the evil my ex showed me. I gave me armor against her.
/r/Divorce_Men20/06/21 03:47 PM
4

I remember the day my case closed. Not ashamed to say I cried. NOT FOR HER. She did me wrong and I was glad to get her out of my life but for the loss of the marriage that I worked so hard for and invested so much into. I felt like it was the biggest failure in my life. I felt like I let my kids and myself down. Now that I look back I am much kinder to myself. My relationship with my kids actually improved exponentially. She was exposed (by her own hand) for the lying cheating asshole that she w…
/r/Divorce_Men18/06/21 01:05 AM
2

I would separate my accounts now if it’s a stressor. I did that a few years ago in my marriage and it eliminated 100% of our money fights. Get ahead of it. Divorce sucks and is financially and emotionally draining.
/r/Divorce_Men20/05/21 04:45 PM
6

Yea $500 is a break. You need another perspective. You are doing your financial duty as a father and I am sure you are also doing more than just financial duties. Your ex should not even be in your view. What she does with that money will be on her conscience and will be noticed by your child at some point. Plus if she is on a shitty route then you may end up with custody. So I say let her do her worst. It will take a toll and on the end you will win.
/r/Divorce_Men19/05/21 11:15 PM
1

Yea. I have a bunch of married friends and they all seem miserable. Lots of my male friends envy my freedom.
/r/Divorce_Men19/05/21 08:18 PM
1

Totally agree. None of the women I dated have met my daughters. I have one adult son and he has only met 2. My daughters went through enough and stressed a lot when my ex introduced her boyfriend even before we divorced.
/r/Divorce_Men19/05/21 04:42 PM
1

Yes I am noticing that this age group is quick to “fall in love”. I’ve been with a few 20 year olds and have had my share of threesomes but I would say they are not easy to talk to or get along with. Plus I don’t want kids anymore.
/r/Divorce_Men19/05/21 04:17 PM
1

I am really not even considering marriage for at least another 4 years. That is when my youngest is 18. I was more taking about commitment in the sense of the obligations of being a boyfriend and working towards marriage.
/r/Divorce_Men19/05/21 04:09 PM
2

I have thought about therapy. I have great insurance that covers it and I have put my daughters through it. It has helped them so much. As men we tend to neglect ourselves. Need to work on that. Thank you for your response.
/r/Divorce_Men19/05/21 01:47 PM
1

Yes I had the same pressure from my first wife. Totally understand. Thank you.
/r/Divorce_Men19/05/21 01:43 PM
1

I’ve met women at dance schools, Facebook social groups, Facebook dating, bumble and tinder.
/r/Divorce_Men19/05/21 12:15 PM
5

Thank you brother. I love your point on the women won’t be competing with other women they will be competing with things that bring joy and fulfillment.
/r/Divorce_Men19/05/21 12:08 PM
3

Thank you brother. That is some real wisdom you just gave me!
/r/Divorce_Men19/05/21 11:59 AM
1

Even more reason to rejoice getting rid of her
/r/Divorce_Men19/05/21 04:54 AM
1

Wow. You are definitely lucky to get rid of her. I remember thinking exactly that several months into the divorce. At the very least I am not in bed with a woman that is betraying me. I sleep so much better now. Best sleep I have had in 20 years . Forget all that hell and move on. Even being alone is better than in bad company. PLUS.. There are ALOT of great lonely women that are even grateful to have someone to talk to. I was talking to a woman at a bar that confessed to me that she even talks …
/r/Divorce_Men19/05/21 04:32 AM
2

All the best to you too brother
/r/Divorce_Men19/05/21 03:55 AM
5

Love it. Thank you. Your motto summarized exactly how I feel. I love coming home and sleeping alone in my bed. Best sleep I have had in 20 years. I love dating and having someone I share time and intimacy but I prefer to do that with boundaries. Each of us should be able to go to our respective homes.
/r/Divorce_Men19/05/21 03:45 AM
1

Stay off the apps at first. Go to social events via singles groups or dance classes. Our generation does better meeting in person. Local Facebook groups are great ways to meet women.
/r/Divorce_Men19/05/21 03:36 AM
2

I learned in divorce that there are actually 2 versions of my ex wife. Who she really was and who I thought she was. 2 very different people. Once I came to grip with reality I let her go and was actually grateful not to be by her side. I felt like I got rid of an enemy.
/r/Divorce_Men19/05/21 03:34 AM
2

Go out and get some physical activity. Biking helped me. Go out to bars and restaurants alone and talk to people. That helped too. Meditate. Exercise. When it comes to money I was actually surprised I kept more. 2 people can be expensive
/r/Divorce_Men19/05/21 03:31 AM
3

To be clear I am not talking about marriage. I am taking about boyfriend. I like the freedom I have. I don’t want to feel obligated and I don’t want to feel jealous. Also The one I am dating is actually better off than me financially.
/r/Divorce_Men19/05/21 03:18 AM
5

That cracked me up. Thanks for the advice
/r/Divorce_Men19/05/21 02:51 AM
3

She is either cheating or finding justification to do it. That is a weak accusation.
/r/Divorce_Men19/05/21 02:45 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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