DivorcedStoic Archive

Upvotes	Title	Category	Author	Subreddit	Date (UTC)

Upvotes	Comment on	Subreddit	Date (UTC)
4	I feel like I'm never going to have better sex than I did with my STBXW and I'm really down about it You might be right, and that’s ok. You’ll have new experiences and many of them will be amazing. We have to accept what we have no control over. On the other hand, you’re probably wrong, and you’ll find some even better experiences. And you’ll definitely find plenty of experiences that are amazing and so different that they aren’t comparable. Turn your focus to the things you have control over. For example, you might decide to put all your focus into becoming attractive to all those other potent…	/r/Divorce_Men	03/11/25 11:23 PM
1	If youre getting divorced because your wife walked out or cheated on you do you keep this private? It is the same for being shot. I’ll take what the world has given me and do the best I can. I’m not a victim and I get to decide how I respond. Society is irrelevant. It doesn’t matter who or what is telling me to suck it up. My choices and my response to my situation is mine alone. None of that changes the fact that I don’t need to share the details of others’ private lives.	/r/Divorce_Men	01/11/25 05:12 AM
1	If youre getting divorced because your wife walked out or cheated on you do you keep this private? That’s fair. It’s a consequence they’ll have to deal with when making the choice to cheat. For me personally, I won’t view myself as a victim, and unless I have a good reason to share that information (to prevent harm to someone else for example), then I won’t share. I’d rather focus on what I can control and do what I think a good man would do.	/r/Divorce_Men	31/10/25 01:55 PM
1	STBXW wants us to spend future christmas' together I can’t tell you what’s best for your family (nobody can). What I try to do in any situation is model for my kids what I think a good man would do. That helps me decide in every situation. What do you think a good man would do in your situation?	/r/Divorce_Men	31/10/25 02:42 AM
3	Live close by or move far away? I get emotionally riled up every time I see her (and her mom) which is unavoidable if I want to maintain the friendships with common friends. You could choose to move and avoid this difficult situation or stay and work through it. Neither is good or bad, just a different way to handle it. Work on yourself or change your environment. Both valid. Wondering if there are any who have stayed near their ex wife willingly (not forced because of children, or because you have family) and how did it work …	/r/Divorce_Men	31/10/25 02:31 AM
1	I got a number Love hearing positive stories like this. Remember that you don’t have to have any expectations or assumptions. You can allow yourself to be surprised.	/r/Divorce_Men	30/10/25 11:13 PM
1	I need to not be living at this house... how? That’s a really tough situation to be in. It must be incredibly frustrating. When you’re stuck like that, it’s even more important to remind yourself that some things are out of your control, and you have to accept that. All you can do is handle what is in your control and put in the time to get through this. Maybe the space you need to make for yourself is the space in your mind to focus on yourself and getting through this process. It’s easier said than done, but focusing on what you can contr…	/r/Divorce_Men	30/10/25 11:05 PM
1	I don't know why I cooked her the eggs Communication is important, imperfect, and incredibly difficult to get right. If you didn’t ask her to get eggs and she didn’t say she’d get eggs, you can’t expect her to get eggs. If you would have refused to cook her eggs, then that would have been spiteful. Instead, you were kind. Everything is out of your control other than your own actions. You don’t have to stoop to the level of spite and resentment.	/r/Divorce_Men	30/10/25 10:12 PM
1	Don’t know if divorce is the right choice. Feeling stuck The only thing you can control is what YOU do. You clearly know what you want, but you’re focused on a million things outside of your control, which is why you’re unable to make a decision. You have to make a decision for yourself and allow others to make decisions for themselves. Anything else is going to make you suffer more than necessary. Worrying about what could happen is just suffering in advance, and in most cases, you’ll be obsessing over things that never end up happening anyway. Forgi…	/r/Divorce_Men	30/10/25 07:46 PM
1	I need to not be living at this house... how? That’s a really tough situation to be in. Must be so frustrating. When you’re stuck like that, it’s even more important to remind yourself that some things are out of your control, and you have to accept that. All you can do is handle what is in your control and put in the time to get through this. Maybe the space you need to make for yourself is the space in your mind to focus on yourself and getting through this process. It’s easier said than done, but focusing on what you can control will hel…	/r/Divorce_Men	30/10/25 06:47 PM
1	If youre getting divorced because your wife walked out or cheated on you do you keep this private? This is a great question. I had similar thoughts when I was going through my divorce, but never really thought to ask for help. So, good job being smarter than me! My philosophy is that no matter what another person has done, it’s still up to me to respect their privacy. Do no harm, basically. I am willing to talk openly with people I know I can trust, but beyond that, it’s not up to me to share details of someone else’s private life. In the end, all I can do is go forward and try to be the best…	/r/Divorce_Men	30/10/25 05:08 PM
1	I’m tired of feeling like this. I just want to move on. Moving on is one of the hardest parts, and in my experience, it’s not binary. There is no one moment where we go from being stuck to having moved on. I’m willing to bet that after what you’ve gone through so far, you’ve been moving in the right direction. Some days I wish I could just talk myself into flipping a switch. I can see what I’m doing wrong, I can see what I need to do, but my mind doesn’t seem to get the memo. Even so, I think regular reflection is part of what has helped me move in t…	/r/Divorce_Men	30/10/25 04:20 PM
1	I must have the worst luck ever. Throwing around blame isn't helping anyone, especially when you start aiming at yourself. Humans are gonna human. We're all screwed up, make mistakes, and can't communicate for shit. When you let go of blaming others (and yourself!), you can start focusing on yourself. You can't control what others do. Only how you respond.	/r/Divorce_Men	29/10/25 11:17 PM
4	I'm at the hate stage for her now Hatred is only going to get in the way.	/r/Divorce_Men	29/10/25 11:05 PM
3	Is cheating during a separation a thing Do you want to be the guy that isn't sure he can trust his wife, is going through her things, and calls her ex to see if they're screwing around? If your boundaries are clear (is cheating during a separation a thing? that's up to you), and if someone crosses those boundaries, it's up to you to decide how to respond. During my separation/divorce, the most important thing I had to learn was independence. The more I relied on my ex's behavior for my happiness, the worse I felt. You can't control wh…	/r/Divorce_Men	29/10/25 10:54 PM
3	Guys, I am still so messed up. There's gonna be a ton of advice in the comments, but it's clear you don't need that right now, so just know that you're not alone, and all the things you are feeling are perfectly valid. I hear you, man. Shit sucks. We're here for you.	/r/Divorce_Men	29/10/25 10:06 PM