DoctorRobotics Archive

Upvotes	Title	Category	Author	Subreddit	Date (UTC)

Upvotes	Comment on	Subreddit	Date (UTC)
2	Fiancé’s ex wife calls and hangs up repeatedly until he answers her texts In case of an emergency my ex can still leave a VM, thats why I prefer the focus trick over blocking. Alternatively my ex could have a family member reach out to me or another member of my family. Bad news travels fast, if its a true emergency she will find a way to contact me.	/r/Divorce_Men	31/12/24 07:59 PM
4	Fiancé’s ex wife calls and hangs up repeatedly until he answers her texts I have a couple of suggestions that may help your fiance with the anxiety and especially the randomness of contact. I've done these myself and they significantly reduced anxiety and added serenity to my life and daily routine. If you use an iPhone (I'm sure android has similar) then learn how to setup and use a custom "focus". I have one (called Serenity lol) that activates itself at 12am. All it does is silence and hide notifications and calls from one contact, my ex. Since I have children invo…	/r/Divorce_Men	31/12/24 07:17 PM
3	I have to let this out I'm really sorry to hear you are going through this. I am going through a similar situation with my ex. She is an alcoholic who spent over 12 months at inpatient rehab last year and in month 10 of her "sabbatical" she filed for divorce without evey discussing it with me. I have two small children, 8 and 6, that I mostly cared for alone that whole time. All that to tell you that I can relate so very much to where you are and how you are feeling. I really want to reinforce what the other poster sa…	/r/Divorce_Men	11/11/24 04:45 PM
2	Struggling with wife's alcohol abuse Seconded on the Al-Anon suggestion. Not just for people with loved ones struggling with this disease. Al-Anon is helpful for anyone dealing with a loved one with toxic and addictive behaviors.	/r/Divorce_Men	29/08/24 01:31 AM
2	BPD violent spouse and divorce 100% this	/r/Divorce_Men	08/06/24 02:49 AM
5	Vent: leave me alone!! A couple of suggestions for everyone going through this. Unfortunately I have an iPhone, so my advice is specific to that platform: Go to your ex's contact in messages and make sure mute is turned on. I also recommend turning on the option to hide alerts and TURN OFF read receipts. You can still check for emergency messages, but the lack of "notifications" helps me regulate my emotions when I'm ready to see what was sent. There is a function called "focus" on iOS. I made a custom "focus" that is…	/r/Divorce_Men	20/05/24 04:02 PM
5	The time has come A lot of good advice here. Let me also recommend reading a book called "Splitting: Protecting Yourself While Divorcing Someone with Borderline or Narcissistic Personality Disorder". It will prepare you a lot for divorcing a high-conflict person as you describe you stbx. It will also provide you information on what to look for in an attorney and help finding an attorney.	/r/Divorce_Men	24/03/24 03:40 PM
8	For years I've been trained to tiptoe around her schedule. Today, I discovered that is no longer the case Strong disagree. Men can and should show their emotions. Real women appreciate that vulnerability.	/r/Divorce_Men	18/03/24 01:56 AM
4	Feeling repulsed… I encourage you to go. I had to go to a family wedding (that was my exw family) because my daughter was the flower girl. Just go and have fun. If something comes up, a song, a dance, or cutting the cake, and you feel unsettled, just go outside or to the bathroom. Take some space. You deserve it and nobody will judge for it. And if they do, F them.	/r/Divorce_Men	09/02/24 01:40 AM
15	So disappointed in myself. A reading the helps me a lot on days like that: “Just for tonight I will let go of any expectation I had for today, as well as any disappointment, shame or guilt I felt for not being perfect today” We are all perfectly imperfect and that’s called being human. Today wasn’t our best, but that doesn’t have to mean tomorrow can’t be. Give yourself the grace and compassion you deserve.	/r/Divorce_Men	04/02/24 08:34 PM
2	Twice now I have tried to put space between me and my ex, and twice now I have failed If you have to communicate with her, I would keep it to your child and logistics involving the child only. Also, in these kind of "trying to goad me" situations, I recommend a BIFF response. BIFF was developed by Bill Eddy from the High Conflict institute. It stands for: Brief, Informative, Friendly, Firm. https://highconflictinstitute.com/communication/how-to-write-a-biff-response/	/r/Divorce_Men	02/02/24 01:17 PM
3	How do you get a sense of worth back? Been here myself. Please reconsider your actions. Suicide is not the solution. It's a selfish act. Think of all the friends and family that love you, even still. Do you want to hurt them in that way? Dial 988 anytime. They are life savers, I promise.	/r/Divorce_Men	01/02/24 04:28 PM