TheRedArchive

~ archived since 2018 ~

Dodzer89 Archive

View 9 posts and 41 comments by Dodzer89 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
Search in:
In subreddits:
More
Filter by year/month:
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
1

thank you
/r/Divorce_Men07/07/23 02:25 PM
1

thank you
/r/Divorce_Men07/07/23 01:07 PM
1

Thank you sir
/r/Divorce_Men07/07/23 12:50 PM
1

thanks for this. I suppose me acting on the divorce is a step right? She was praising me for this during the week, but it also concerned about my emotions.
/r/Divorce_Men07/07/23 12:23 PM
2

Maybe there's a different culture to where you're from. Technically I thought we working on it for two years and only officially separated for two. In Ireland, we don't rush out the door to divorce. Our laws state that we're to be separated for two years before it's legal. Thats only a recent law, up till a few years ago that number was 5 years. I've been in therapy for 4 years and done some amazing work on myself.
/r/Divorce_Men07/07/23 12:06 PM
2

thanks for the clarification. I've been finding knowing when I'm fully over it is more difficult than I thought. But I know for sure I 100% want to move on.
/r/Divorce_Men07/07/23 11:53 AM
1

I'm confused by this answer. How could she support me? You're suggesting that I wouldn't be ready for a new relationship anyway?
/r/Divorce_Men07/07/23 11:47 AM
1

thank you for your insights
/r/Divorce_Men07/07/22 04:13 PM
2

Thank you.
/r/Divorce_Men07/07/22 04:03 PM
4

i really appreciate this brother
/r/Divorce_Men07/07/22 02:04 PM
1

So much truth to this. It really does pour, and it's hard to see it now, but the lower the downs you experience, the greater the ups. Life engulfs us with shit and your ability to handle it will make you a stronger person. A person that will have a much greater capacity to enjoy the good times than the person you were before these horrible experiences. Feel the bullshit and pain but keep the faith.
/r/Divorce_Men31/01/22 01:42 PM
1

You too brother. Talk to someone professional if you are not already. Theres a light at the end of the tunnel
/r/Divorce_Men24/01/22 09:22 PM
1

thanks for the tips man
/r/Divorce_Men19/01/22 12:47 PM
1

Thank you
/r/Divorce_Men18/01/22 10:12 PM
2

You'll come through the other side of this pal if you just keep leaning into the darkness. Pain that isn't felt won't heal. You've got this.
/r/Divorce_Men18/01/22 10:11 PM
1

thank you brother
/r/Divorce_Men18/01/22 03:35 PM
2

I feel the same way man, this is not a place to get stuck in. I have an auntie who has never moved past a failed engagement. Nearly 20 years later she is just turning to alcohol and lashes out at everyone with anger. I recommend talking to a professional. My own has really helped me work through a lot of this emotional garbage. I'm not clear of it yet, but I can really see the benefit of having a professional listen to me before all these emotions turn into a tumour or some other shit.
/r/Divorce_Men18/01/22 02:53 PM
2

Obviously, I don't know of your circumstance, but if you have moved on and are still plagued with those thoughts about an ex, then perhaps you haven't completed your grief yet? Fighting those thoughts seem to go against all the advice I've found by professionals on the subject. Perhaps a counsellor or therapist might help you work through some of that stuff? You can only go through that grief. Feeling it and submitting to what the abyss has to teach you gives you the best chance to heal it. Best…
/r/Divorce_Men18/01/22 02:35 PM
4

I feel you brother. I'm a jiujitsu student and have trained 4 times a week for over 6 years. I can barely motivate myself to go twice in the last month. But I know that will pass eventually. Surrender into it! I've done the book stuff too but I'm not so inclined anymore. I think they are another attempt for me to try "fix" how I feel. I dont think I'll find it in a book. You are not broken. Someone you care about has left your life. The price of love is grief and you are adjusting to a new reali…
/r/Divorce_Men18/01/22 02:00 PM
1

100% of when it comes to the self imagine comment. I spent years trying to change, believing her view of me and it still ended the same way I was desperately trying to avoid. That's not to say things won't change in the future but you have to put those fantasies to the side and grieve the marriage. Go get yourself a therapist OP, they will let you see that the writing was probably on the wall already. It takes two people to ruin a marriage, always. Learn to accept the mistakes you've made, put d…
/r/Divorce_Men18/01/22 01:13 PM
10

Hey bro, I'm sorry to hear what you are going through. It sounds to me like you are too much in your head. Thats what happens to me when I'm angry, sad or anxious over something. I have an inclination to move onto the next relationship, get the ego boost a new woman can give you. But from my own experience I've found that puts me back into unfulfilling relationships long term. I tried to date a month after finding out my ex was having sex outside the relationship. I'm 5 & 1/2 months on and I'm s…
/r/Divorce_Men30/12/21 12:15 PM
2

Will where I can brother. Still in the middle of it myself but there's definitely and ear and some encouragement from me for anyone reading.
/r/Divorce_Men09/12/21 10:41 PM
3

try poke the bear and record her in your pocket, then go to the police.
/r/Divorce_Men22/11/21 03:30 PM
3

Yes please, I'm in ireland so zoom works for me.
/r/Divorce_Men29/10/21 07:58 AM
1

Thank you, its good to hear there will be some sort of end eventually. God its tiring!
/r/Divorce_Men26/10/21 01:06 PM
1

Thank you. Sometimes thats hard to remember
/r/Divorce_Men25/10/21 09:40 PM
1

Thanks so much, this is solid practical advice. I definitely find setting 20mins a side to just cry helps me concentrate enough to get some work done but I've never thought of dedicating a song to it. And with the last few months of feeling sorry for myself I have plenty to choose from. Thank you.
/r/Divorce_Men25/10/21 09:38 PM
2

Thanks so much, I hear a lot of these points and family are saying they are seeing the personal growth in me, though its hard to see myself. I'm happy to hear your story, it gives me great comfort. Thank you
/r/Divorce_Men25/10/21 08:06 PM
2

Thank you so much. Your empathy and knowing you're a bit further down the road gives me hope
/r/Divorce_Men25/10/21 07:12 PM
2

Thank you sir, I'm doing my daily practice since all this shit started. I say its helping a lot
/r/Divorce_Men25/10/21 05:34 PM
1

Hope to get there some day man
/r/Divorce_Men25/10/21 05:33 PM
5

100% brother. I totally get you, even in my wording about "my next relationship" was suspicious.... I had a date with this girl already and she seemed great. But I started having anxiety about our second date, I called her and told her what I was going through, that I'll hit her up when I feel better. When I did she wasn't interested. My reaction to that small rejection was so disproportionate that it made me very suspicious about why I'm looking to date again so fast and why. It feels like I'm …
/r/Divorce_Men25/10/21 03:26 PM
4

I agree with a lot of this. After she first moved out I threw myself into my Jiujitsu and earned a purple belt. I've actually read dr glovers book alresdy and even did some "nice guy" support groups. It was a major step i was taking which I think has given me the balls to finally walk away from her bullshit. I've never heard of the rational male, but I'll be onto that now. Thanks for the advice.
/r/Divorce_Men25/10/21 03:18 PM
2

Thank you
/r/Divorce_Men25/10/21 03:13 PM
2

Thank you. I think I have that part figured out. I'm back studying in a career I've always wanted but I just find it all so much more difficult with this emotional burden. I hope it will ease soon.
/r/Divorce_Men25/10/21 03:13 PM
2

The books "no more mr nice guy" and "the way of the superoir man" have helped see they way I was in the past and I'm grossed out and determined to be better. It just is taking a longer time that I've hoped.
/r/Divorce_Men25/10/21 03:03 PM
2

This is what I needed to hear. Those 2 years of therapy and trying to improve myself i think I did a lot of that work, learning about what I accept and how relationships actually work for men, but I thought I was doing all this self improvement for the good of the marriage. Since that illusion has been broken I suppose I just need to refocus on what I've learned for my next relationship. I think I'll read you message to start my day each day.
/r/Divorce_Men25/10/21 02:57 PM
6

You have me in tears with that jesus anaology. That's beautiful. Thank you so much for this brother. I hope you continue on your journey with such grit. I got the headspace app the week after my sepperartion and I'm proud to be on 82 days in a row. (It would be more if it wasn't for one day I missed). The sleep music and exercises really help during those lonely nights.
/r/Divorce_Men25/10/21 02:52 PM
2

Thank you.
/r/Divorce_Men25/10/21 02:35 PM
3

So sorry that was done to you. Thanks for that.
/r/Divorce_Men25/10/21 01:04 PM
3

Sorry you're having a hard time. I found the anxiety got better once I either cried my sadness or screamed in anger. If you aren't doing exercise nows the perfect time to establish a routine. I'm 3 months on now and I'm still having a hard time. I met someone great on a dating app about a month after we split, but I really wasn't ready. I was having full on anxiety attacks for the second date. I wasn't ready. I needed to mourn my situation and distracting myself with another woman wasn't serving…
/r/Divorce_Men25/10/21 12:46 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

© TheRedArchive 2026. All rights reserved.
created by /u/dream-hunter