DontEnjoyBoats Archive

Upvotes	Title	Category	Author	Subreddit	Date (UTC)

Upvotes	Comment on	Subreddit	Date (UTC)
2	Constantly having doubt about my 10 year marriage despite my wife is almost perfect. But she may not be the one To be direct, you cheated on your wife with that fling. You need to be honest with yourself. All relationships have warts at different times. Your wife compared to the dumpster fires you'll read about here, sounds dedicated to you. Find some therapy. Not saying your position is wrong, it may be right and we are missing context, but get some therapy either way before you make a decision. Heck, have a chat with your GP, you may be depressed and you don't want to make life altering decisions for yo…	/r/Divorce_Men	06/07/26 04:30 AM
3	After losing my marriage and then losing the person who helped me survive it, I don’t know who I am anymore Suggest you check the Support for Waywards forum for guidance. You need to unpick and amend for your behaviour in your marriage, which will help you understand your dependence on the affair relationship. Take this as an opportunity to grow. Demonstrate respect towards those you've hurt & yourself by understanding yourself deep enough that you'll never repeat the same. Take care	/r/Divorce_Men	18/06/26 03:09 AM
2	Everytime my mind starts to wander to dating again, I just remember this simple truth... Ask for proof of tests before you proceed and wear protection. Get your own tests done regularly.	/r/Divorce_Men	09/06/26 09:08 PM
11	Did your (ex)wife’s friends lead her towards divorce? You have demonstrated massive insight which will hold you in good stead long term. Yes absolutely her friends encouraged her and normalised infidelity, and were constantly in her ear that the marriage was inadequate and that she carried no blame. I've only witnessed men encourage other men to leave if it is truly toxic and abusive and been that way for a sustained period of time with no improvement from the usual interventions and therapies.	/r/Divorce_Men	08/06/26 01:59 AM
3	Physical Health Wrecked from Divorce? Yep this is great advice, and add therapy and the caveat to be mindful not to burn yourself out on these self improvement projects either. Considered self care and downtime is important. We don't need to be perfect, but we do need to be sustainable - for ourselves, kids & future partners	/r/Divorce_Men	07/06/26 12:50 AM
1	Four years out of winning my divorce and I cannot find peace. Agreed. Be as upfront & transparent only up to your own boundaries sure, but be honest & don't mislead. You can still pick up & have casual without the deceit, and if you meet a woman you'd like a complete relationship with, you don't want to start it on such shaky ground.	/r/Divorce_Men	27/05/26 09:44 PM
1	I think this chapter is over? Sounds like you have already decided, best of luck to you and yours with your decision	/r/Divorce_Men	22/05/26 08:37 AM
2	I think this chapter is over? Stop aiming for happy, it's a shimmering myth of an oasis. Consider seeking content, satisfied, fulfilled. Keep away from Instagram etc. Divorce marks kids for life, tread gently there. Good luck regardless your chosen path.	/r/Divorce_Men	22/05/26 01:41 AM
25	Be safe out here fellas No more phone calls. Emails & text. It's business.	/r/Divorce_Men	11/05/26 12:27 AM
3	Small wins: soon to be X didn't get nearly as much money as she expected Ask around, get recommendations. Have calls with them, pay an initial consultation fee if you must. I went with someone who I felt would aim for fair rather than scorched earth. My take was the inflammatory lawyers who think they're on TV will cost their clients more for their own benefit ignorantly or knowingly. Judging by how my exes lawyer behaved & cost, it was the right call.	/r/Divorce_Men	10/05/26 10:20 PM
5	Despair - The Long Term Financial Implications of Divorce as a Dad Sorry you are going through this. It's fair to be frustrated. I too get angry at the costs I've faced through this experience. Angry at the waste of it all, that it has robbed my children of opportunity and experience, and future financial support & inheritance. The sums are grotesque. I'm too fatigued from it all to try to establish a second income to try to claw back. You'll get through it, you cannot undo the losses, sometimes all we can do is try to stem the bleeding and support our kids. So…	/r/Divorce_Men	14/03/26 06:04 PM
3	How long did you do therapy? If you find the right therapist, you'll know it's worth it. You also need to hold yourself accountable to do the homework and put in place the practices that they recommend. It may also be that right now they're trying to simply support you through this very early intensive change by giving you a safe space to vent.	/r/Divorce_Men	09/03/26 11:10 AM
1	What makes men in situationships be REALLY and honestly emotionally close one day and distant the next? Life.	/r/Divorce_Men	19/02/26 10:06 PM
4	53M. Married 26 years. Found out she never really loved me. Trying to understand how I stayed. You sound like a decent man and reliable father. She didn't deserve you. Rebuild, one day at a time, for your boys and for yourself. One day you'll look up and ahead and be so grateful you are out. You'll learn to dust off her spiteful comments, she hates herself and doesn't have the guts to explore that, so she'll project onto and lash out at you. Take care	/r/Divorce_Men	16/02/26 09:59 PM
7	Hyper sexuality?? Yes, I can relate. It's likely a coping mechanism distracting you from the underlying pain, stress & anxiety etc. Get into some decent counselling, exercise until fatigued, journal about it and remind yourself who you want to be and where you want to get to, learn how to ground yourself to return to a place of calm. Don't feel guilty about it, sit with the feeling and explore it alone. Try not to let it lead you blindly into more pain in your life.	/r/Divorce_Men	12/02/26 01:48 AM
1	Why women seem to divorce vs men Got kids you're actively involved in, a house & garden and admin you actively maintain, and a full time job that supports and pays for all of these things? Weekly date night... Weekend trip away every few months... 😂	/r/Divorce_Men	10/02/26 09:34 PM
5	Why women seem to divorce vs men 'I'd like a divorce' is a hell of a lot less damaging and more mature than 'You weren't supposed to find out'. What an example for kids.	/r/Divorce_Men	10/02/26 10:33 AM
6	Why women seem to divorce vs men There are numerous examples where there is unrealistic demand for more, when the workload scales are already balanced or worse, imbalanced. There are demands for more connection & time together, which is expected to be organised somehow by the man who is already at or beyond capacity keeping the family afloat, supporting partners careers, kids and all their needs. There are shared counsel sessions which are dominated by an individual, typically to deflect accountability. Individual sessions skip…	/r/Divorce_Men	10/02/26 10:29 AM
6	A Few Words Of Appreciation Yep agreed, the reason I keep coming back is because there is a balance between the new comers who are rightly angry and bitter, and those who are a few years down the track tempering them back to kindness & reality. If this place dives into red pill territory it will no longer be filled with the healthy guidance and support that it is. Thanks all	/r/Divorce_Men	05/02/26 11:25 PM
5	Fuck. 10 months in, no peace First, I want to acknowledge that it's tough and there is no judgement here, been there myself. Second, you can get yourself and your kids though this. See this as an opportunity to set an example for your kids as to how to rise to face adversity with dignity. If you are drinking every night you are trying to cope in way that you know how. Find a decent therapist that you click with and learn new coping mechanisms. Can't get to therapy? Read - mindfulness, grounding, meditation, journalling. Lea…	/r/Divorce_Men	15/01/26 07:41 AM
5	Discovered meditation at 54 after my divorce - sharing what actually worked for guys like us Here's what I've picked up over the years, hopefully it is of use to someone. Grounding is not mediation, mediation is not reflection. Learning how to ground yourself is the first step to dealing with overwhelming feelings, when you're in the fight/flight state you won't be able to effectively meditate. Grounding has lots of different approaches, but simplest ones are box breathing, simply counting and slowing your breaths, focusing on the minutest of details - leaves of a tree you can see, the …	/r/Divorce_Men	08/10/25 05:11 AM
4	How to be the Other Man? Many of us are years ahead of you and have trodden the path, each with our own stories and own mistakes, and the confidence now to help guide others that the right path is the moral path. We've been in your shoes, felt the same anger and considered the same actions you do now. Take care	/r/Divorce_Men	02/10/25 10:54 PM
2	I am afraid that I will be alone forever, and I can’t stop thinking about it. The perfect time to explore inwards. Relish in it.	/r/Divorce_Men	30/09/25 11:05 AM
7	Well, the acceptance is setting in. And it sucks. But I’m proud of myself? Long walks and therapy mate, it's a big shock that takes time to worm it's way out of you. Good luck	/r/Divorce_Men	07/09/25 10:57 PM
13	I hate that men call victims of cheating “cucks” Be mindful of what you expose yourself to online. The algorithms will reinforce it. FB was jamming up my feed with stuff about unfaithful women and affairs, and I'd be like a moth to the flame so it would show me more. It had genuine impacts on my ability or inability to trust someone close in my life when I should have and caused a lot of upset for them and myself. Once I noticed this, I started specifying for FB not to show things like it or blocking the pages it was recommending. It made a hu…	/r/Divorce_Men	02/09/25 11:44 PM
–	Spreadsheet for day to day recording Yep. Email yourself your notes so it is time stamped subject yymmdd. Panel them as Separation or something so you can find them quickly.	/r/Divorce_Men	31/08/25 11:46 AM
2	I'm not sure why it's hitting me hard, 3 years later. Your nervous system may finally be feeling safe enough with this 3 years of distance, that it is lifting some of it's suppressive barriers. You describe keeping your own challenges and thoughts and feelings you yourself. They're ready to come out now. Took me 2 years to crash out after being hyper busy. Therapy is most useful at this point as you learn to be able to sit in the distress and let it eventually melt away, rather than distract yourself through it in one manner or another - work in yo…	/r/Divorce_Men	30/08/25 08:08 AM
9	Got served, STBX went for throat, suspiciously nice while I have our kids… Only communicate by text or email, no phone calls unless there is a genuine medical emergency. Minimise being in her or her friends/family vicinity. Move child exchanges to school hours if you can. E.g. you drop off in the morning, she collects in the afternoon & vice versa. If that's not possible, do exchanges somewhere public - MacDonald's car park. If it must be at your house, get a camera that is prominently visible and point it at your drive and stand in front of the thing until she's drive…	/r/Divorce_Men	13/08/25 12:14 PM
2	Best books for post-divorce advice for men? It links to everything.	/r/Divorce_Men	09/06/25 02:50 AM
2	Best books for post-divorce advice for men? Was going to suggest the same. Make this type of reading your foundation.	/r/Divorce_Men	09/06/25 02:50 AM
7	Children exchange drama If it is feasible for your situation, try to your custody arrangement so that you exchange across the school day. E.g. You drop off to school in the AM, she collects in PM.	/r/Divorce_Men	18/05/25 03:24 AM
1	What do you do with in between time? Walk far friend and often, without your phone. This will pass	/r/Divorce_Men	13/04/25 12:39 PM