TheRedArchive

~ archived since 2018 ~

DrBeaufort Archive

View 1 posts and 60 comments by DrBeaufort on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
Search in:
In subreddits:
More
Filter by year/month:
Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
16

DrBeaufort/r/askMRP12/05/20 09:02 PM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
3

OYS #14 Stats Age mid 30s, together with wife ~15y. 1 toddler. Height 6'1", weight 222lbs. Squat - 320x5, Press 132.5x5, Deadlift 320x5, Bench 185x5 Sidebar Finished: NMMNG, MMSLP, MAP, TWOTSM, WISNIFG, SGM Summary I think myself and others have somewhat written me off as a failure at this OYS/MRP thing... I'm 4 months in and haven't had much progress yet, and have been skipping a lot of OYS writing weeks. I've felt depressed, have really bad work and life habits, and have been generally acting …
/r/MarriedRedPill11/08/20 04:49 PM
3

OYS #13 Stats Age mid 30s, together with wife ~15y. 1 toddler. Height 6'1", weight 222lbs. Squat - 320x5, Press 132.5x5, Deadlift 320x5, Bench 185x5 Sidebar Finished: NMMNG, MMSLP, MAP, TWOTSM, WISNIFG, SGM Summary I'm shifting the format here because I was copying other people's template as a way of excusing myself from focusing on what matters, and talking too much about my wife. I want to simply choose the most important things in my life, clarify what needs to be improved about them, and the…
/r/MarriedRedPill24/07/20 07:07 PM
1

Thanks, I need to stop trying the same thing with no results, and am pivoting my OYS strategy now.
/r/MarriedRedPill24/07/20 07:06 PM
1

OYS #12 Stats Age mid 30s, together with wife ~15y. 1 toddler. Height 6'1", weight 222lbs. Squat - 320x5, Press 132.5x5, Deadlift 320x5, Bench 185x5 Sidebar Finished: NMMNG, MMSLP, MAP, TWOTSM, WISNIFG, SGM Reading now: re-read WISNIFG Summary I have been depressed, and spent a week and a half not doing much, including missing my OYS last week, and doing it late this week. I also resumed some previous addictive and time wasting behaviors such as scrolling news/reddit feeds. I am determined to ge…
/r/MarriedRedPill17/07/20 04:55 PM
1

After reading the 2nd stage vs 3rd stage idea in TWOTSM, I am starting to think Nietzsche was confused about the problems with Buddhist, Stoic, or Christian ethics. I think these ethics are about insisting the world be a better more just place from a place of strength and calm.
/r/MarriedRedPill02/07/20 01:15 PM
1

OYS #11 Stats Age mid 30s, together with wife ~15y. 1 toddler. Height 6'1", weight 223lbs. Squat - 320x5, Press 132.5x5, Deadlift 320x5, Bench 185x5 Sidebar Finished: NMMNG, MMSLP, MAP, TWOTSM, WISNIFG, SGM Reading now: re-read WISNIFG Non-sidebar books: Meditations (finished), Power of Now (~50%) Lifting/diet I'm still losing weight easily and steadily doing 3x ~20 hour long bone broth fasts per week. I've also started doing slow mindful eating after reading about it in DirtyNuke's OYS, which h…
/r/MarriedRedPill02/07/20 12:58 PM
2

Similar situation here- I'm white and my wife is black, and the current situation is overwhelming to her, and nearly all she can think or talk about. I've had regular accusations of white privilege and even white supremacy for not talking about it as much as her, even though I am the furthest thing from that. All I can say is that if you have any desire to fix the relationship, you should try to understand how viscerally terrifying recent events have been to black people, and support her. Tell h…
/r/askMRP25/06/20 04:04 AM
1

OYS #10 Stats Age mid 30s, together with wife ~15y. 1 toddler. Height 6'1", weight 226lbs. Squat - 320x5, Press 132.5x5, Deadlift 320x5, Bench 185x5 Sidebar Finished: NMMNG, MMSLP, MAP, TWOTSM, WISNIFG Reading now: SGM, re-read WISNIFG Sleep My sleep is much improved the last few weeks, and I have felt calmer and less stressed. Lifting/diet My doctor required me to take two weeks off from doing a valsava maneuver, and I stupidly tried lifting heavy without a valsava and injured myself. I'll need…
/r/MarriedRedPill23/06/20 11:51 PM
1

You're right
/r/MarriedRedPill10/06/20 10:13 PM
1

Not much, I'm down to 1 cup/day on waking up, but I am a slow caffeine metabolizer (a pretty common liver enzyme mutation). It's possible that is enough to mess me up as I am very sensitive to stimulants in general.
/r/MarriedRedPill10/06/20 10:06 PM
1

Thanks, I will check it out. This is exactly the sort of thing I need right now.
/r/MarriedRedPill10/06/20 10:04 PM
1

Exercises in PON helped (continue to help) deal with the internal anger, self-hate, "need for justice", rehashing the past, etc. What is PON? I spent some time searching, looked through the sidebar here and TRP, and couldn't find anything with an acronym like that.
/r/MarriedRedPill10/06/20 05:28 AM
1

OYS #9 Stats Age mid 30s, together with wife ~15y. 1 toddler. Height 6'1", weight 226lbs. Squat - 320x5, Press 132.5x5, Deadlift 320x5, Bench 185x5 Sidebar Finished: NMMNG, MMSLP, MAP, TWOTSM, WISNIFG Reading now: TWOTSM audiobook (substantially different than text version), SGM Sleep Still sleeping terribly, and waking up in the night often feeling anxious and angry about random things. I have started experimenting with breathing exercises before bed, and after waking up in the night, and they …
/r/MarriedRedPill10/06/20 05:03 AM
1

Nice covert contract there on the marriage counseling. Can you spot it? Yes, she will stay with me if I 'show that I am working on things.' What the fuck did you do to need to apologize everyday or mommy gets upset? The same events you quoted a few posts back about not being willing to leave no matter how I'm treated, but responding with victim pukes, etc. A long string of things related to pregnancy and childbirth where she was having a really really bad time, and I acted mean, defensive, and h…
/r/MarriedRedPill03/06/20 10:45 PM
1

It was my idea to do the marriage counseling, because I wanted her to see that I was doing something about our relationship, and my internal stuff isn't visible to her. The marriage counselor said I need to apologize everyday until my wife feels 'healed' and my wife got really mad at me that I didn't apologize for several days... and says if I can't do this I need to leave (our house), and I am a 'liar' for not saying I wouldn't do it when the counselor asked me to. I ended up DEERing in respons…
/r/MarriedRedPill03/06/20 10:03 PM
2

OYS #8 Stats Age mid 30s, together with wife ~15y. 1 toddler. Height 6'1", weight 227lbs. Squat - 317.5x5, Press 132.5x5, Deadlift 320x5, Bench 180x5 Sidebar Finished: NMMNG, MMSLP, MAP, TWOTSM, WISNIFG Reading now: TWOTSM audiobook (substantially different than text version), SGM Sleep This is at the top of my list nowadays since I realized it's my biggest issue. I tend to wake up in the middle of the night, apparently having a panic attack about my relationship or work, and don't get back to s…
/r/MarriedRedPill02/06/20 01:32 PM
3

During lockdown she is on main kid duty. But apart from that she just whittles her time away uselessly. Am I understanding correctly- she's watching a young kid 24/7 in a lockdown where she can't get a break, you aren't helping, and you're pissed she tries to relax sometimes? I thought my wife was 'lazy' too, until I realized she was spending all of her mental energy taking responsibility for things that were my responsibility.
/r/MarriedRedPill27/05/20 01:16 PM
1

It makes me fucking depressed to fully know that I am really the only person I can rely on to make things happen. Anything I care about seeing happen has to come from me. If you haven't already, check out Nathaniel Branden's books "taking responsibility" and "the six pillars of self esteem" for a very positive and inspiring spin on this reality: "No one is coming."
/r/MarriedRedPill27/05/20 12:59 PM
1

Thanks, I will keep it in mind but I'm fairly sure it's just caused by worrying about things outside of my control- I can see the pattern correlating with external events.
/r/MarriedRedPill27/05/20 12:51 PM
1

You're right, this is the G rated version of my OYS. I need someplace to really share deeply what I am thinking, doing, and feeling.
/r/MarriedRedPill26/05/20 08:09 PM
1

OYS #7 Stats Age mid 30s, together with wife ~15y. 1 toddler. Height 6'1", weight 228lbs. Squat - 317.5x5, Press 130x5, Deadlift 315x5, Bench 185x5 Sidebar Finished: NMMNG, MMSLP, MAP, TWOTSM, WISNIFG Reading now: TWOTSM audiobook (substantially different than text version), SGM Relationship So my wife thought I was acting weird, did some research, discovered TRP on her own, and confronted me about it. By the way, did I mention my wife is a genius? Not like the smartest kid in your school level,…
/r/MarriedRedPill26/05/20 02:08 PM
3

I'll second this, but it's also applied to modern life. Reading ancient philosophy and figuring out how to apply it to modern day situations isn't easy to do by yourself. In that light here are the four stoic virtues, and how I understand them: wisdom - This is the understanding of what is important in life and is worth worrying about, nothing else matters. Specifically, the only things worth worrying about are things within your control (e.g. your own actions and thoughts). justice - Knowing fr…
/r/askTRP21/05/20 05:13 PM
1

Jung is pretty inaccessible as it's mostly directed towards philosophers and psychologists from his era- you have to read almost everything he wrote to get the bigger picture. "Man and His Symbols" is a book he wrote for the layman, and is a good start but not very comprehensive.
/r/askTRP21/05/20 05:07 PM
1

Thank you, I need to seek out some men divorced with young children. I was going to say I don't know any, but now that I think about it- some of my best friends are in that exact situation.
/r/MarriedRedPill21/05/20 01:04 PM
1

Thanks! What does 'reset' mean? Is this the 'generous tit for tat' game theory idea? e.g. generally respond tit for tat, but occasionally respond nice anyway, even if she is being horrible, in order to break out of a nasty downward spiral? You're right I don't have the frame yet for the cocky funny angle... I tried it a few times and I just came off as creepy.
/r/MarriedRedPill20/05/20 01:19 PM
1

says he can’t hire me. He thinks I’m worth 350k in the market and they can only pay 250k. I recently hired an engineer and told a very experienced candidate basically the same thing... maybe I can offer some insight into what is happening on the other side. Yes, I was afraid the candidate would leave shortly for a higher paying position, but more importantly- it's hard to pay the most you can afford. I ended up hiring a more junior person for half as much as the 'low salary' I would have had to …
/r/MarriedRedPill19/05/20 09:48 PM
1

Great idea, that would have been fun. My problem with STFU is that it seems autistic and awkward, like I'm afraid to tell her what I really feel. I need to get my 'nice guy' filter down and make it playful.
/r/MarriedRedPill19/05/20 09:42 PM
1

OYS #6 Stats Age mid 30s, together with wife ~15y. 1 toddler. Height 6'1", weight 232lbs. Squat - 317.5x5, Press 130x5, Deadlift 315x5, Bench 185x5 Sidebar Finished: NMMNG, MMSLP, MAP, TWOTSM, WISNIFG Reading now: TWOTSM audiobook (substantially different than text version), SGM Lifting/diet I haven't missed any workouts or cheated on my fasting protocol. My strength is going up fast, but my fat loss is stalled, so I am eating too much. My waist size has gone down despite no weight loss, so some…
/r/MarriedRedPill19/05/20 02:01 PM
2

You can get a CAP powerlifting barbell for ~$150 (not the regular OLY one), and a low end rogue squat stand for ~$365. That is good quality equipment for safe lifts up to 1000+ lbs. Get the spotter arms too. Then just couple it with some rusty old used olympic plates for next to free. Edit: skip the leg press and just squat and deadlift
/r/askMRP17/05/20 08:49 PM
1

Have you read Meditations yet? Thanks, I've read it several times many years back, but wasn't ready to internalize the lessons. I'm ready to read it again.
/r/MarriedRedPill14/05/20 11:35 PM
6

I'm not sure how this would have worked out. I could have chosen a wife not smart or strong enough to have a firm opinion on serious medical issues, which to me would be more like having a dog than a partner- and I already have a dog. Or I could have chosen a wife that thinks identically to me on all issues, in which case I'd be marrying myself. No, I think I vetted correctly by choosing a smart wife that can think through difficult challenges, but handled this situation like shit with terrible …
/r/askMRP13/05/20 03:46 PM
2

I decided to go the ruthless dictator route, and it didn't work. It only has any teeth if backed up by a real willingness to leave, which I didn't have, and here I am still here years later... You're absolutely right that this is a clear example of the stoic idea of things I absolutely can't control.
/r/askMRP12/05/20 09:42 PM
1

You had the opportunity to meet that "old friend" on your wilderness hike. That old friend? He is the little boy inside of you. For a very long time he's been even more lonely than you. At every turn you've denied him your time and attention. Thank you, this feels like exactly what happened. Since I also have a real life little boy, I feel like I need to figure this out for his sake as well, so I don't do the same to him that I did to myself.
/r/MarriedRedPill12/05/20 09:08 PM
1

OYS #5 addendum Fears I realized I have, and need to lean into: I am terrified of losing my nuclear family. I am terrified of losing my career from procrastination, or reactive working. I am terrified of being a bad father. I am afraid of major changes coming to my life that I can't control. Things I have been in denial of: I am addicted to the tiny bit of positive attention I get from my wife. My mission is my work, but I have gotten disconnected from it. I override my own judgements with those…
/r/MarriedRedPill12/05/20 04:15 PM
2

OYS #5 Summary I went on a long hike. I need to eat less and focus harder on work. Stats Age mid 30s, together with wife ~15y. 1 toddler. 1 kid (2y/o). Height 6'1", weight 231lbs. Squat - 310x5, Press 130x5, Deadlift 295x5, Bench 185x5 Sidebar Finished: NMMNG, MMSLP, MAP, TWOTSM Reading now: WISNIFG Lifting/diet No weight loss or substantial strength increases this week despite 3x 20 hour fasts, and two lifting sessions (not 3 as planned, skipped one for a long hike). I'm going to work on eating…
/r/MarriedRedPill12/05/20 12:53 PM
1

You are confusing being hard with being strong. They are very different, often opposites- people are hard because they are terrified of being vulnerable, not because they are calm and strong. Read about 'empathetic fogging' in WISNIFG and here. Edit: That said, you still need to decide if being vulnerable is a good idea in a particular situation.
/r/askMRP11/05/20 09:09 PM
1

Interesting point. I have never seen anyone of my generation get substantial support from a wife or a loved one during difficult times. Medical or psychological issues always lead to the woman leaving... It does seem like my grandparents generation was quite different in that regard.
/r/askMRP08/05/20 04:33 PM
13

I don't think the real problem is the wife making more money, but the husband not taking his career seriously and kicking ass. If you are making less by choice because you're doing what you believe in, for a clear reason, it's fine. My marriage isn't a great example to aspire to, but my wife does make more than me. I turn down job offers every week that pay more than my wife makes, because I am accomplishing something in my work that I think is truly important. She does seem a little upset each …
/r/askMRP08/05/20 04:23 PM
1

his wife isn’t thirsty for his dick. It's like following diet and exercise advice from a morbidly obese fitness guru. If it doesn't even work for him how can I expect it to work for me?
/r/askMRP08/05/20 12:54 PM
2

If your wife learns & applies Gottman she might stop shit testing and be nicer and more understanding... which is a disaster from the TWOTSM perspective. Passing those tests is the only way to show your strength, and build attraction. You're either strong enough to enjoy and grow from the challenge, or you're not. If you're not, she isn't going to be into you. Where I can see it has value is in helping you realize when you're getting into fight or flight 'angry' mode and loosing your cool when s…
/r/askMRP08/05/20 12:49 PM
7

I just re-read chapter 13 of TWOTSM and see the fundamental flaw in what I wrote here. It's impossible to sacrifice your happiness or mission to be a great parent, because you can't be a great parent without it.
/r/MarriedRedPill07/05/20 11:38 PM
4

It's really easy to rationalize yourself out of doing hobbies, but don't let it happen! Other people will give you great reasons not to start. Whenever I take up a new hobby my wife suggests that I don't have enough time for it, and should wait until after retirement (I think she means death). ​ "I’ve always wanted to sail to the South Seas, but I can’t afford it." What these men can’t afford is not to go. They are enmeshed in the cancerous discipline of "security." And in the worship of securit…
/r/MarriedRedPill07/05/20 04:22 PM
1

I wish I had known this long ago, and am glad my terrible experience can be a learning example for others. A single assertive act of enforcing a boundary could have ended the whole mess in a second. When I learn more, I want to write an MRP guide for new fathers. Totally off topic but a few hunter-gatherers did/do have matriarchal societies with fully open hypergamy, and no concept of fatherhood (brothers typically acted as fathers). A better setup than our modern one of basically the same thing…
/r/MarriedRedPill06/05/20 09:30 PM
3

I would absolutely not leave my kid without a father for my own freedom and am willing to live with the obvious consequences of that boundary. I don't think nuking the family would end up like that, but clearly red-sfp didn't either... Edit: see TWOTSM context below
/r/MarriedRedPill06/05/20 09:21 PM
2

Thanks for suggesting this, I haven't had *any* time to myself in years because I was too terrified of starting a fight to ask her to watch the kid by herself. Since it's my first time hiking without a toddler riding on my back in years I'll be able to carry A LOT of tissues.
/r/MarriedRedPill06/05/20 09:17 PM
4

OYS #4 Stats Age mid 30s, together with wife ~15y. 1 toddler. Height 6'1", weight 231lbs. Squat - 305x5, Press 130x5, Deadlift 295x5, Bench 185x5 Sidebar I have read almost the entire sidebar long ago, but reset this to cover only re-reads since I started doing OYS seriously just last month. Finished: NMMNG, MMSLP, MAP Reading now: WISNIFG Lifting/diet I've been sticking to 3x/week strength training, plus 3x/week 20 hour fasts, and I'm still seeing very rapid progress (lifts going up fast, weigh…
/r/MarriedRedPill05/05/20 01:07 PM
3

After I started working out, reading about game, and got into fitness model shape... my wife and I had frequent adventurous sex and she begged me to get her pregnant for years. During the time of the pregnancy I decided I would just support her during this difficult time, and get her whatever she needed or asked for.... quickly I was doing 100% of the chores, and instead of a sleep rotation with a newborn, she would sleep all night and I would stay up *all* night with the baby for weeks, until I…
/r/MarriedRedPill29/04/20 11:24 PM
1

I really don't know how to respond to shit like "don't you think not doing what these things I've asked of you is disrespectful to me." Isn't not doing something she asked, that you agreed to do or at least didn't clearly communicate a boundary around is disrespectful? Why are you not agreeing with her (e.g. fogging)? Why are you telling her you will do things and then "forgetting" to do them?
/r/MarriedRedPill29/04/20 09:12 PM
3

I think I'm one of the few that has benefited at home from this pandemic and the uncertainty of it. It has given me opportunity after opportunity to lead my family. It's incredible how a crisis shines light on leadership... everyone wants to be the leader when there's nothing wrong, anybody willing to take responsibility will be the de-facto leader during a crisis, but most of the time nobody is.
/r/MarriedRedPill29/04/20 09:05 PM
2

I've had to dial back the dread as the wife is halfway through pregnancy and I want to avoid some boat rocking. Be REALLY careful with this one. I had a great marriage, and went full 'nice guy' to give my wife comfort during the pregnancy, and it destroyed everything.
/r/MarriedRedPill29/04/20 08:51 PM
2

OYS #3 Stats Age mid 30s, together with wife ~15y. 1 toddler. Height 6'1", weight 233lbs. Squat - 290x5, Press 125x5, Deadlift 285x5, Bench 180x5 Summary This last week has been revolutionary, something flipped inside me and I suddenly have purpose, vision, and energy for the first time in years. I had a major realization: My marriage problems were caused mostly by one big event and subsequent shitty leadership that I had been in denial of. Several years ago I was a drunk captain in a very speci…
/r/MarriedRedPill29/04/20 08:22 PM
4

I'm amazed that you are going through all this, and yet have the strength and time to help me and others on here as much as you have. Your strength is a serious example and goal for those of us just starting this journey. It really puts my situation in perspective where I *only* have marriage issues, but am safe and financially secure. Can't wait to see the articles.
/r/MarriedRedPill29/04/20 08:18 PM
1

Thank you for helping me realize this, it was just below the surface but I didn't get it without your questions.
/r/MarriedRedPill28/04/20 09:43 PM
2

Thanks for calling me on that BS. For one, I realized I've long been avoiding doing the things I love because my wife didn't want me to, and didn't want to come. I decided to do what I want on my own and start living life again. I am an avid outdoors person, and spent the entire weekend every weekend outdoors before I met her, and she did this with me when we started dating. She would even spend the entire day naked in the wilderness, and do anything I could dream up to ask her. At some point sh…
/r/MarriedRedPill24/04/20 05:06 PM
1

Thanks, I know what is going on with her, but she was never any good with lying or secrecy in the past, and I don't see the signs of an exciting affair in her- she isn't taking care of herself and just seems depressed and anxious. I feel that obsessively trying to figure out what's up with her has been a negative thing I need to get past... however I don't want any STDs or someone else's kid that is legally mine. I will fuel this pain into building strength.
/r/MarriedRedPill22/04/20 02:10 PM
1

Thanks, I see that not inviting her seems 'butthurt' or passive aggressive. I should have been clear with my intentions that I wanted some 1:1 time with my son.
/r/MarriedRedPill22/04/20 02:07 PM
3

OYS #2 Stats Age mid 30s, together with wife ~15y. 1 toddler. Height 6/1", weight 233lbs. Squat - 285x5, Press 115x5, Deadlift 285x5, Bench 175x5 ​ Sidebar reading Previous: NMMNG, MMSLP, MAP, WISNIFG, lots of leadership books Now reading: MMSLP (x2), Zen and the art of Motorcycle Maintenance ​ Lifting/diet I've been losing weight FAST doing a 20 hour fast 3x/week on non-lifting days. Down 4 lbs this week, 13lbs in 2 months. I got in all 3 Starting Strength style workouts this week, but failed i…
/r/MarriedRedPill21/04/20 08:20 PM
1

Close enough. I want out (e.g. Rambo), but for my Son's sake I am going to keep running my MAP, and come up with a plan calmly and slowly.
/r/MarriedRedPill18/04/20 03:09 AM
1

Thank you for your advice, it's an honor to get a reply from you, as your posts have been the most inspiring to me so far, especially the anxiety/depression series, which could have been written exactly for my situation. I have absolutely been letting her be the judge, and even running the MAP for her approval. I am still not sure how to change that but I will STFU, sidebar, and figure it out. You're right the relationship is absolutely over. I keep not admitting it to myself, because we had sim…
/r/MarriedRedPill18/04/20 03:05 AM
2

OYS 1 Stats Age mid 30s, together with wife ~15y. 1 toddler. Height 6/1", weight 237lbs. Squat - 285x5, Press 115x5, Deadlift 285x5, Bench 175x5 ​ Reading NMMNG, MMSLP, MAP, WISNIFG. Currently re-reading MMSLP Lifting/diet I was a long term powerlifter that got really strong and lean, but gave it up to "spend more time supporting my wife and baby" after my son was born. This fucked me up big time, and I let my wife tell me I couldn't lift anymore once I realized this was really fucking me up. Lo…
/r/MarriedRedPill17/04/20 08:46 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

© TheRedArchive 2026. All rights reserved.
created by /u/dream-hunter