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Dr_Venkman_ Archive

View 3 posts and 100 comments by Dr_Venkman_ on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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0

Ah yup
/r/Divorce_Men04/06/26 09:45 PM
1

Stop being a simp and go no contact.
/r/Divorce_Men19/03/26 12:04 AM
9

We get blindsided or are hopelessly optimistic. Or the vows actually mean something to us.
/r/Divorce_Men15/12/25 05:01 AM
8

My story, and probably others too. Stay up king.
/r/Divorce_Men15/12/25 05:00 AM
3

Congratulations brother. Every word of advise you mentioned is 100% accurate: -->Don't bother with therapy. Why? Because your spouse already made up her mind to leave you; therapy provides a "safe space" third party where she can drop the bomb on you while getting evidence if you blow up in front of the therapist. -->They'll gaslight you as easy as breathing. I knew for a fact my ex was cheating on me and when I confronted her she said, "just a friend". They'll flip the script and make it seem y…
/r/Divorce_Men13/10/25 06:04 PM
24

One thing that helped me was realizing I was glorifying the nostalgia. I was thinking the past me was the best version of me. The future me was all downhill. When I started thinking how exciting the future will be, how I could reach my goals and be happy and peaceful, that’s when my funk broke. I still get tripped up sometimes but the thought of the future in a new mind frame, a positive setting, got me through tough times. It can for you too brother.
/r/Divorce_Men23/02/25 09:06 PM
12

This post sounds like what my ex did to me. It's gross, they're gross.
/r/Divorce_Men06/01/25 03:09 PM
1

Downvoted for having preferences. Unbelievable
/r/Divorce_Men08/09/24 03:46 PM
5

Thank you for your support
/r/Divorce_Men04/08/24 05:13 PM
0

Realest shit I’ve read this year
/r/Divorce_Men28/07/24 04:42 PM
5

I agree it’s old as time for sure.
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/24 05:21 PM
18

The pandemic accelerated the pace of this promiscuity onslaught. The vows don’t mean shit anymore to them. Never seeing women the same again. Years in I still struggle with how someone can say I will love you, forever, and then go and have sex while abandoning her kids. Unreal.
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/24 06:32 AM
2

Hey friend. Do you mean reconciling the marriage?
/r/Divorce_Men14/07/24 12:47 AM
1

That's great that you got accurately diagnosed and your life is better. Like I said, without going into details, I know for a fact my kid doesn't have ADHD. Thanks for your input.
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/24 07:45 PM
1

There’s a lot more to my reasoning that, for reasons of keeping anonymous, prevent me from divulging. I appreciate your input friend.
/r/Divorce_Men10/07/24 04:55 PM
1

Preteen. No, the ex just wants to outsource all aspects of parenting so she can focus on being a whore and having fun with the kids. Kid doesn’t have adhd.
/r/Divorce_Men10/07/24 03:04 PM
2

YMMV I guess. My friends want to know every detail, which sometimes man I just want to forget about for a moment and just hang.
/r/Divorce_Men10/07/24 12:45 PM
1

This too will pass my friend.
/r/Divorce_Men10/07/24 03:09 AM
5

Therapy is bullshit. Couples therapy is a place where you’re torn down by the spouse in a “safe” space. By the time you’re in couples therapy it’s over. Going to your to your own therapist is hit or miss. Most therapists don’t gaf ultimately resolving anything. Couple and individual therapy was a total waste of time and money for me.
/r/Divorce_Men10/07/24 01:28 AM
2

A study suggests (unfortunately) shot talking about the xoparent will mess up the kids later on. It said the key to well adjusted kids with divorced parents is to successfully co-parent, meaning treating the xoparent with respect. As the days go on in my separation, it gets harder to respect someone that destroyed my family to chase her delusions of what will make her happy. I’ll respect her for my kids sake, but man it’s hard. My kids are young too, and seem ok and happy. Maybe a testament to m…
/r/Divorce_Men09/07/24 01:00 AM
3

Oh ok I yup. I agree. Thanks for clarifying brother
/r/Divorce_Men07/07/24 03:09 PM
2

Not sure I follow what you’re saying
/r/Divorce_Men07/07/24 02:28 PM
8

I know what you mean brother. But on the other hand men bury their feelings deep deep down, for years on end. We don’t want to shame men for getting into their feelings here. “Pick yourself up by the bootstraps” is what needs to happen, we all know that. But also let our brothers vent. Some men have exhausted their friend outlets and this could be the only place they feel safe to share and get advice.
/r/Divorce_Men07/07/24 01:45 PM
3

Kids older or younger? Hang in there brother.
/r/Divorce_Men07/07/24 01:41 PM
5

Mediation works for you too. Your first mistake is listening to ANYTHING her father is telling you. You can go to mediation ($5k total) split it, and work with a side lawyer to review your agreement. Otherwise you’re stuck in $10k retainer land and endless motions to your LAWYERS BENEFIT. You’re in for a rough ride bc you just don’t get it yet. I was there too.
/r/Divorce_Men06/07/24 07:02 PM
9

You gotta acknowledge this is your enemy now. You’re getting sued, will face a judge, and half your shit will be gone, and if you’re LUCKY you’ll have only half the week with your kids. 2. She turned her back and broke her vows. DO NOT TRUST ANYTHING THIS PERSON SAYS. 3. You will go through the stages of pain, where acceptance is at the end. You will find peace, but not without suffering. 4. From a business perspective, it’s beneficial to go through a mediator. It’s cheaper. Do your own research…
/r/Divorce_Men06/07/24 04:55 PM
6

100% agree with you. I budgeted out and while it’s tight, it’s manageable. 5 Star restaurants at $250 or more each time? Ain’t nobody got time for that.
/r/Divorce_Men06/07/24 04:07 PM
5

I don’t want to self adulate. I wanted a partner in every sense of the word. I wanted someone to grow old with, to care of, to take care of me. I wanted a family, like the ones I e seen on tv growing up. I love and adulate Jesus, and on earth I thought entering a marriage meant a forever partner. It didn’t, it doesn’t, and I was used all this time.
/r/Divorce_Men06/07/24 04:05 PM
17

Wife was cheating for years, getting egged on by her “all the ladies independent throw yo hands up in da air” crew. Gaslighted into thinking it was my fault. She initiated, she broke her vows, she abandoned her kids every weekend to f her girlfriend. Her.
/r/Divorce_Men06/07/24 04:01 PM
-3

Anything that brings you closer to Him makes sense. I’m all for living my best life and if that means no fap them so be it.
/r/Divorce_Men06/07/24 03:39 AM
6

You can film in public whatever the eyes can see. You can't trespass the eyes. Many "auditors" challenge anything to the contrary and win in court.
/r/Divorce_Men05/07/24 06:49 PM
9

2nd this. In fact, anywhere in public there is zero expectation of privacy. Drop offs in public is a great idea for filming. She seems psycho bro so be careful and protect yourself. Wear a go pro or bodycam while in public. Remain calm and if shtf you'll have video evidence.
/r/Divorce_Men05/07/24 06:48 PM
9

Damn bro that’s gotta hurt. Gods speed on the uncontested and hope it’s fair.
/r/Divorce_Men01/07/24 03:17 AM
5

I could have written this word for word as this is my experience. Unbelievable we all have to go through this. Big shout out to this group of men divulging their pain, and all of us helping each other get through it. Really powerful advice here.
/r/Divorce_Men30/06/24 02:50 AM
20

Everything I learned about women in the last 5 years of marriage. They don’t value the words, the oath, the loyalty. They’re like WiFi: always scanning for the better option. ALL OF THEM.
/r/Divorce_Men26/06/24 02:21 AM
2

Yup
/r/Divorce_Men25/06/24 03:31 PM
4

She said she was “unhappy” one night and in tears. Said it was a lot to handle, kids, housework, work, etc. To appease I doubled down and took kids to appointments, watched the kids on Friday nights while she partied until 4am and came home drunk and high, paid for more things, and on and on. I knew it was over when she said “I was talking to my ultra liberal, no kid, unmarried friend and want an open marriage”. No amount of honey do list items will ever be enough to make them shoot once they fl…
/r/Divorce_Men24/06/24 07:01 PM
5

Bro, you’ve found your people. I’m not going to tell you it’s gonna be sunshine and rainbows, not for a while. It sucks. The constant thinking about it. But here’s the good news: you’re crushing it at work, you’re working! It’s perfectly normal what you’re thinking and feeling. Yes it sucks, but give yourself time. The actual whole divorce process (let alone post-divorce rebuild) is a massive undertaking. Give yourself grace and kindness because you’re loved and worthy. This too will pass.
/r/Divorce_Men20/06/24 07:05 PM
1

Get the SA first. Then wait for the decree. A lot of steps in between. If she wants to move out of the marital home that’s on her.
/r/Divorce_Men18/06/24 03:40 PM
14

Do you share a cell phone account? If so, log in and see her call history. Then use numlookup for the account owner. Google the name.
/r/Divorce_Men18/06/24 02:56 PM
1

Check out https://app.custodyxchange.com/. Look at the 50/50 schedules and what works for you
/r/Divorce_Men18/06/24 01:33 PM
17

She hit me with “I’m not the same person you married” too. Turns out she was cheating (emotionally at first, then physical) for years prior to that talk. I swear they all share the same script. There’s no use trying to understand it but damn the thoughts are hard not to entertain. She agreed to an easy divorce too and when we went to mediation she started arguing about useless shit. God speed bro.
/r/Divorce_Men17/06/24 02:32 AM
2

Thanks brother. I’m so lucky I have my kids, and looking forward to all the memories with them to be made. You’ll be ok too.
/r/Divorce_Men12/06/24 12:08 AM
9

You're NOT the only one! The best I can reconcile with the lying in my own way is thinking about it as the path of least resistance, coupled with rationalizing the lies. She doesn't want to work on herself, that's too hard. She doesn't want to help work on the couple as unit, too hard. The rationalizing and compartmentalizing the lies and stories they tell is their own way of feeling zero shame or guilt for ripping the family apart in the name of THEIR "happiness". And happiness, as we know, jus…
/r/Divorce_Men10/06/24 09:33 PM
3

Same.
/r/Divorce_Men09/06/24 03:06 AM
11

You’re in denial. I get it. I was too. I tried therapy with her. The first thing the therapist said to me, and only me, was “people go to therapy trying to save the marriage. We’re not here for that.” It was a hit job. She was planning the divorce for years and for years I put my head in the sand and said “nah she won’t do x” only to find she did, in fact, unabashedly did x. Brother don’t think for a second she doesn’t have everything all planned out. She’s only acting cordial to GET WHAT SHE WA…
/r/Divorce_Men07/06/24 12:46 AM
2

*Shit AND piss. Don’t forget the piss.
/r/Divorce_Men26/05/24 10:17 PM
3

OP. Pop in your data here and see what’s what https://www.tn.gov/humanservices/for-families/child-support-services/child-support-guidelines/child-support-calculator-and-worksheet-1.html
/r/Divorce_Men25/05/24 02:06 AM
0

Not singing isn’t ad advantage. Tell her “let’s save a boat load of money each and go to a mediator”. Set up the mediation sessions. At the same time, ship as many lawyers as you can. Set up consults, some are free, do those more than the paid ones. Then she can’t use those firms bc of conflict of interest. Settle on a lawyer for yourself after asking them “I need a litigator if the mediation breaks down. Are you successful at litigating?”. Some lawyers just want to rack up fees just to settle l…
/r/Divorce_Men12/05/24 06:22 PM
5

Please see the top post in “all time” of this subreddit for the best advice compiled. TLDR: 1 year after divorce is the waiting period.
/r/Divorce_Men02/05/24 04:53 PM
2

No. If you have a ceremony and cohabitate, it’s considered a common law marriage. And she’s entitled financially. EDIT: *in some states
/r/Divorce_Men22/04/24 02:06 PM
1

It’s ok bro
/r/Divorce_Men22/04/24 02:05 PM
3

solid solid advice
/r/Divorce_Men18/04/24 04:55 AM
4

My God. I’m so grateful you posted this OP.
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/24 03:41 AM
6

Nothing toxic about cutting off emotional ties to a wife that left. That turned her back on vows. The faster you get outta ya pity party the better. I say that from a place of love and support.
/r/Divorce_Men10/04/24 12:51 AM
2

Worse by far
/r/Divorce_Men05/04/24 11:02 PM
3

Same. I think during her demon mode just pre divorce she was cheating and trying her new stuff she learned (dirty talk, etc) with me.
/r/Divorce_Men05/04/24 02:27 AM
2

She’s already exhibited all the “body language” this guy needs to see with another dude. Get real bro.
/r/Divorce_Men03/04/24 01:25 AM
6

Holy crap, my story is almost word for word (except my kids are younger). Same: getting boned in the house equity and my retirement. She's just..evil now bro. She's bonin someone else, who she immediately called after our last mediation. Panic attacks, anxiety. I had to go on meds. You give me hope. Rock on brother.
/r/Divorce_Men26/03/24 04:40 AM
8

When my stbxw sucked another woman’s va jay jay
/r/Divorce_Men25/03/24 02:45 PM
3

33 bro. I'm going through this right now. If you're in mediation, it's a negotiation. Plus there's wiggle room. How are you valuing the house? Look at Zillow and Redfin for their estimates. If one's higher than the other, say to her let's just average the two. Or, if you have an extra $500, get your own appraiser secretly, and see if the appraiser will "work" with you, telling him it's for a divorce/equity buyout wink wink. Even though 33 is the number, through out the reality though if you do s…
/r/Divorce_Men22/03/24 02:53 AM
7

The BALLS on them omg.
/r/Divorce_Men18/03/24 03:34 AM
4

Nah bro that’s way too long. Go out for ice and cream or coffee keep it simple. Don’t deny yourself quality interactions for that long. I wish you the best. Currently in the thick of it right now myself and plan on bouncing back.
/r/Divorce_Men12/03/24 05:06 AM
6

Ya hate to see it...lol
/r/Divorce_Men04/03/24 12:35 AM
5

Total back burner and even worse is when they undermine everything you do with the kids
/r/Divorce_Men09/02/24 04:00 AM
2

^ solid advice
/r/Divorce_Men08/02/24 03:15 AM
5

Read title and immediately upvoted without even needing to read the text.
/r/Divorce_Men08/02/24 01:22 AM
4

uhhh...wut?
/r/Divorce_Men25/01/24 05:59 AM
19

Mine is fucking a lesbian as I type this. Dyes her hair purple streaks and abandoned her kids
/r/Divorce_Men14/01/24 05:41 AM
2

They’re associates, not real friends. Real ones will be there for you.
/r/Divorce_Men14/01/24 04:55 AM
5

Or woman (like in my case)
/r/Divorce_Men12/01/24 03:30 AM
2

You've got me, and us behind you :)
/r/Divorce_Men10/01/24 04:10 AM
2

You’re right. And there’s someone waiting for me out there man. Thanks bro.
/r/Divorce_Men09/01/24 07:49 PM
9

So happy for you bro. I’m going through the pain stage now. I was just thinking to myself, “man, I’ll never find another woman like her. “ your story gave me hope, thank you.
/r/Divorce_Men09/01/24 06:34 AM
5

My daughter saw me packing clothes in plastic bins and asked, “daddy what are you doing?”. Told her oh daddy is just organizing closet. She said “ok I’ll help daddy” and made some printed labels with “daddy” on them, and then put the labels on the bins. Absolutely heart breaking for me.
/r/Divorce_Men03/01/24 02:41 PM
2

All true! Which could hurt in court. I’m trying to get out asap.
/r/Divorce_Men03/01/24 02:39 PM
3

Conventional. Yea I’ll call them or go in personally and see what can be done. The rate is low compared to today and I would like to keep it.
/r/Divorce_Men03/01/24 04:31 AM
5

Currently in month 2 since she dropped the bomb and told me she "never wanted anything more in her life than to divorce me", but still living together/cohabitating. It totally blows seeing her go out on New Year's Eve instead of wanting to spend time with our kids, and lying about seeing a friend when I know she's dating. As others mentioned though the relationship with the kids is at an all time high and just getting better. So there's that. I hope and pray for you brother. Try and keep your me…
/r/Divorce_Men03/01/24 03:58 AM
6

Dang, stay strong brother! I'm rootin for ya.
/r/Divorce_Men31/12/23 03:39 AM
1

I totally agree. Just having fun, being honest.
/r/Divorce_Men25/12/23 06:46 AM
9

I don't know, but I started using Bumble and got a few bites, started messaging. It's a morale booster for sure. Therapist says wait until the divorce is finalized (we're separated atm), but meh she cheated already, and is continuing to do so, before we're officially through so why not connect and get my mind off things while enjoying some nice conversation and/or ice cream with someone else?
/r/Divorce_Men23/12/23 10:27 PM
2

Mine is going to tell me she wants the separation/divorce on Thursday. The past month has been hell. She's so cold.
/r/Divorce_Men19/12/23 04:58 AM
5

"Then COVID. Then friends and family members began dying. Then her childhood PTSD was triggered and all of a sudden she became someone I couldn’t even recognize. She even had schizophrenic-like episodes. I was terrified. Then she left. I was utterly crushed." This hit me, I feel we're in the same boat. The woman I knew and married and dreamed of growing old together, just, isn't there anymore. I'm here for you brother.
/r/Divorce_Men18/12/23 07:10 PM
1

What state if you mind me asking? I'm in Mass
/r/Divorce_Men09/12/23 07:13 AM
1

Thanks brother. So much swirling around in my head, hard to sleep. Like, where did i go wrong? Could i have done something better? It's my fault. Where do i go from here. I feel your pain too.
/r/Divorce_Men07/12/23 06:35 PM
1

What does string it out mean friend?
/r/Divorce_Men07/12/23 04:49 AM
1

Thanks brother. I’m starting therapy and working my plan
/r/Divorce_Men06/12/23 08:31 PM
1

Thank you so much for your kind words:)
/r/Divorce_Men06/12/23 08:28 PM
1

I guess I was thinking if she’s bi, why not stay me (still attracted to men)
/r/Divorce_Men06/12/23 06:45 PM
1

Thank you. I will go to my $350 an hour consult with all business.
/r/Divorce_Men06/12/23 06:45 PM
1

Thank you. I'm hitting the gym again and lost 13 pounds. But tbh, i think it's just stress as i haven't been eating what i usually eat.
/r/Divorce_Men06/12/23 05:46 AM
1

Thank you. I contacted a few lawyers already. One said unless she's literally strung out on heroine, or hasn't seen the kids in a year, or she beat me up or something major, the judge will just say "oh just figure something out and get back to me". Idk bro that's just what the lawyer told me
/r/Divorce_Men06/12/23 05:45 AM
1

She makes more :(
/r/Divorce_Men06/12/23 05:44 AM
1

Thanks brother. I started hitting the gym again consistently about a month ago. I still got it! Back up to pressing 275. Gotta hit that 3 hundo
/r/Divorce_Men06/12/23 05:43 AM
3

I’d like to live in the house we bought and rent out now but it’s in a different town. I’m wondering how to get full custody and the house.
/r/Divorce_Men05/12/23 09:21 PM
4

Thank you. Your words mean a lot my friend
/r/Divorce_Men05/12/23 09:19 PM
7

She’s been destroying me for years. I had to go on anxiety medicine.
/r/Divorce_Men05/12/23 09:09 PM
15

Yup. Thanks brother. Calling lawyers now. I just don’t know what to do or ask.
/r/Divorce_Men05/12/23 09:08 PM
4

uhh wot?
/r/MensRights07/07/17 06:25 PM
1

I'm getting a 404. Is there another link ?
/r/TheRedPill07/04/17 05:27 AM
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