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Dracent-Rez Archive

View 2 posts and 55 comments by Dracent-Rez on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
24

Dracent-Rez/r/Divorce_Men08/06/23 05:58 PM
13

Dracent-Rez/r/Divorce_Men11/06/23 12:46 AM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
2

I've decided to not confront right now. I need to set up mediation for my son. I need her to graduate so she can make money. Too many things can go wrong or difficult just so I can get a gotcha moment with no extra value.
/r/Divorce_Men11/06/23 07:52 PM
1

But she will get 50% custody. It's more important to be strong for my son then to just get a easy "hit" in.
/r/Divorce_Men11/06/23 07:50 PM
1

I've decided to not confront her, at least for a long while.
/r/Divorce_Men11/06/23 07:48 PM
1

With meditation do you need lawyers?
/r/Divorce_Men11/06/23 05:17 PM
1

Do all states have mediation? I'm going through something more and I just want to understand what everything is and does. Why is it better then going to court? Are the outcomes the same?
/r/Divorce_Men11/06/23 12:35 PM
1

I don't think evicting will look favorable to me when the courts goals and honestly my hope in the way future is to co-parent
/r/Divorce_Men11/06/23 12:31 PM
1

Photos and recordings of all conversations.
/r/Divorce_Men11/06/23 12:31 PM
-1

I know people say to wait for the lawyer, but I really just want to end it now and ask her to leave now. I already have the proof.
/r/Divorce_Men11/06/23 12:30 PM
1

I have the proof. She's a good mom and I guess expected to be and to just live here as a faux family while going out on the side. Maybe she planning on telling me, but regardless I found out.
/r/Divorce_Men11/06/23 12:28 PM
1

Sigh
/r/Divorce_Men11/06/23 10:26 AM
1

I just don't think I could do that. I could have done that if we were just separated and nothing more. But not this.
/r/Divorce_Men11/06/23 10:25 AM
3

Ok
/r/Divorce_Men11/06/23 03:39 AM
1

In terms of the joint account. Should I take half out for myself?
/r/Divorce_Men11/06/23 03:19 AM
7

Not really. My parents are in my corner, so is my sister. I have a few local friends that are all for me.
/r/Divorce_Men11/06/23 02:34 AM
2

It's not that. Random guys. Dates. Doesn't seem like sex based on messages.
/r/Divorce_Men11/06/23 02:22 AM
2

5 years old
/r/Divorce_Men11/06/23 02:04 AM
6

Honestly? I was checking her laptop that I have the password to, to see her grades in school and to help with her schedule. The window was up for the texts chats.
/r/Divorce_Men11/06/23 02:03 AM
3

I've heard that so many times. And I don't plan on confronting her tonight. But tomorrow is Sunday I don't know how I'm supposed to contact anybody
/r/Divorce_Men11/06/23 01:41 AM
0

My question is why shouldn't I grab all of my most expensive things take my son and move to my parents which is only two blocks away?
/r/Divorce_Men11/06/23 01:37 AM
1

In my case I'm not paying almost anything. But I do agree, I've read many about many times this has happened.
/r/Divorce_Men10/06/23 10:19 PM
1

I am for sure, thank you for the post and concern.
/r/Divorce_Men10/06/23 12:49 PM
1

I just want to thank this community and it's members for all the comments, advise, and support. There might be different opinions because everyone has experienced different things, I'm glad to have read it all. I feel stronger than I've felt in months even considering the current situation. One thing I noticed that it is a complete SHAME that there are not local support groups for men. I'm in a huge commercial/urban location and there still isn't almost anything. The community is amazing but it …
/r/Divorce_Men10/06/23 11:47 AM
1

You might be right. But I also have a purpose as well. Her being finished and having the ability to make good money is good for my son no matter the outcome. And technically good for me if we do get a divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men10/06/23 11:40 AM
2

I will check the book out. I don't know if it's salvageable or not. I appreciate the input.
/r/Divorce_Men10/06/23 11:39 AM
1

Sorry to hear that. Feel free to drop a DM to chat. Bros gotta support bros.
/r/Divorce_Men09/06/23 09:16 PM
2

I respect the lessons others learned. Which is one reason why I'm not out right dismissing it. I am keeping my eyes open and my mouth shut (outside of my son). Obviously if she puts in no work I'm done, as it takes two. But for now I'll put my son first.
/r/Divorce_Men09/06/23 07:33 PM
1

Luckily I started the gym thing months ago. And before that I lost some weight on keto. So I'm ahead of the game on that point. Feeling good and looking better than ever currently. I'm not blind to the possibility which is why I'm focusing on my son. I will check that channel out.
/r/Divorce_Men09/06/23 07:30 PM
2

Luckily I've already jump-started working on myself months ago even before shit hit the fan. So I'm ahead of the game there. But yes, I'll definitely continue to do that as well as purely focus on my son and his needs. Honestly that already happens as a primary caregiver, but I'll do it even more so.
/r/Divorce_Men09/06/23 02:12 PM
1

If it ends up being that way then I agree with you.
/r/Divorce_Men09/06/23 02:09 PM
1

That's one of the areas that significantly improved over the last 6 months.
/r/Divorce_Men09/06/23 12:25 PM
2

If that's is truly the case I will. There are reasons I don't believe so, but I'm not going to blind myself to the possibility.
/r/Divorce_Men09/06/23 05:25 AM
1

It's been about two months leading up to this point, even though the last 6-12 months have been rough. But the last two weeks have come to head with conversations about only just being a family without the relationship side due to very low feelings in that realm. The reasons stemmed from the past leading up until now of "not doing more together" (of course that means me planning everything including child care) and making sure we could afford it. I also only had so much vacation time. To your qu…
/r/Divorce_Men09/06/23 05:11 AM
1

Money used to be an issue about two years ago, but I've done much better since then. But that was during covid and my son was 3, so naturally difficult times. I'm going for sure for myself. But it's a good thought to make sure the counselor is good for me and possibly for us if he gets that far. You can read my other post about vacations and such, but yes we did for how much we could spend. Compared to others, we did family vacations a fair amount even through covid. But looking back my assumpti…
/r/Divorce_Men09/06/23 05:01 AM
1

Thanks man
/r/Divorce_Men09/06/23 04:58 AM
1

Not available in my state.
/r/Divorce_Men09/06/23 02:08 AM
1

To be perfectly honest, I'm going to start going to individual counseling next week. It's the first time I've considered it for myself. In terms of marriage counseling the ball's in her court and you can read the post above, but I basically told her I was going to be doing it and she would need to make a decision to tell me that she wants to work on everything by going. Either way I'm going to do it for myself to better myself.
/r/Divorce_Men09/06/23 12:58 AM
1

Well luckily she'll have money in a year (or ability to make money). So I don't think that will be a factor in general. This will be resolved in one way or another in a year - I will promise myself that. I do want my son to have the best possible life, that would include for her to make good money no matter our situation.
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/23 10:43 PM
4

You could absolutely be right. I suppose I'll find out pretty soon.
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/23 10:41 PM
1

Thanks for the input. In my situation there hasn't been that "big conversation". But I do see your point and appreciate it. Thank you
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/23 10:41 PM
2

For sure. I'll drop you a DM in case I decide to not update this post.
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/23 10:39 PM
1

Thanks. You seem to have this as well. You and the other post just will help me get to where you seem to be now with a little less pain/time. Stay in touch man, we seem to have very similar situations.
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/23 09:31 PM
2

Thanks for your perspective. I'm definitely taking the advice of one last convo then just working on myself outwardly. I'll reevaluate the serving her part a little down the road as I get more into myself a bit.
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/23 09:19 PM
6

Thank you. I'm going to do exactly what you said. One last "conversation", tell her essentially what your said, say what I will do, then everything you wrote. You just kicked me into 'better' mode. Luckily I've kicked started things like the gym months ago (down 50lb from 2 years ago, slow burn with keto), and my career is at the top of where it can be for my age in government. I'm going to screenshot this reply and it will be my encouragement. Sorry for your past that gave you this conclusion, …
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/23 09:15 PM
1

I agree they feel very "standard" which is what surprises me the most. I'm probably going to have that one big conversation you and the other poster just suggested, then back off as he suggested.
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/23 09:10 PM
1

The issue with the "family" thing is that what my parents were. Same house, family, no relationship. I told myself I never wanted that (even though it was nice to have both parents). It never really bothered me that they don't have the traditional love, but I told myself I wanted to be different. But here I am! I agree with giving everything time, but yes at a certain but for your own health people have to move on. In my case it's so new and we've never done anything close to counseling, I belie…
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/23 09:06 PM
2

Understood, thanks for your insight. What would you suggest in my situation? I don't think I can just pop the divorce now when I see something as salvageable (see the post above), but I don't want to blind myself either. Just looking for honest outside perspective.
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/23 08:54 PM
1

We seem to be in similar mindsets, with you a few weeks ahead of me. On my end, the "problems" that she had were also unavoidable in my opinion partially due to having a new born/toddler & and partially due to money/child care. Covid didn't help. But like you said the past exist and I've taken ownership. Even recently (last 6 months) I've made more effort on those lacking areas for myself but also the relationship. At minimum it's a net positive for myself. She still wants to be a "family" but d…
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/23 08:52 PM
1

Could you explain the difference? And how would that work?
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/23 08:36 PM
1

Nothing is impossible.
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/23 08:36 PM
1

Obviously divorce is on my mind since I'm here and all. Sorry that happened to you. I'm terms of affair, I'm not saying it's impossible for an affair to be happening, but the time constraints are atronomcal for there to even be one in our situation. She doesn't go out most weekends, school is long/very hard days (it's a physical job so lab), and it's all women. And she has to get home to take care of our son timely. But impossible I'll give you, just unlikely with the time needed. So yet again i…
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/23 08:35 PM
1

I agree with you on that part fully. Luckily with our schedules 'family time' is mostly separate. I'm the primary caregiver since I work from home. If it ever got to the point of being downright bad then yes I would rip the band-aid. For now, no matter the end result, it's better to just deal with it for the sake of my son. But I do get it's not a long term solution.
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/23 08:23 PM
1

Not sure I understand.
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/23 08:21 PM
1

Thank you for this. You expressed what I'm feeling exactly. I do want to salvage it and I feel like the tough times are mostly behind us. I'm sorry for your situation. We've had conversations but after a while it tends to devolve into saying that this is my fault because of the prior years. It's hard to say if she's checked out or not honestly. I believe there is still something there for us, but definitely buried. If I may ask, what are you currently doing to handle the situation?
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/23 08:21 PM
1

Luckily no student debt. 90% grants with no repayment. So that's pretty far down on concerns. A bright side is that she'll actually make very good money like I do very soon which is good for our son no matter what. She might be done already, yes I agree. I will attempt to get individual therapy soon thank you. For the sake of my son I'm willing to suffer through my emotions and not file right now. Sorry, what do you mean 'through it all'? Currently (and most of the time) we are not fighting, I'm…
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/23 06:24 PM
2

Been happening. Much better in that regard.
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/23 06:18 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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