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Due_Arm1454 Archive

View 0 posts and 14 comments by Due_Arm1454 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
1

Don’t do that. Be calm and neutral and move on. It’s not worth it. You have to get out of the cycle. The only way for it to not control your life is if you don’t allow it to control your life. Focus on you and your future. Don’t be cold. Don’t be warm. Just be cordial. You owe that peace to yourself. Let her do what she does, you can’t control it and you can’t let her actions control your behavior and emotions.
/r/Divorce_Men26/02/26 07:04 PM
3

I’m still with my wife. I’m in the very very early stages of divorce. I don’t care if other women aren’t ok with it. I don’t want to be with any woman that wants another child. We fundamentally wouldn’t be compatible.
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/26 04:00 AM
2

It actually got better. I was terrified of another kid. I love my kid but the way he came into my life and the things I had suffer to support then left me traumatized. The sex got better because that emotional weight got lifted. That lasted a good while. She encouraged the decision though, not that that would have mattered.
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/26 03:41 AM
3

Do it under clarity. I did it. Best decision ever. But I was 1000% sir and emotionally sound.
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/26 03:31 AM
1

It’s tough man. Accepting that and realizing nothing is probably going to change has really stirred literally every emotion in me, often at once. I guess my primary job right now is try to maintain some form of stability and think through the right decision and move towards it, no matter how difficult. Anything’s better than numb acceptance. Has she felt a shift? Have you moved towards any exit strategy? Or are you just starting to sit in it and think?
/r/Divorce_Men19/02/26 07:33 PM
1

I’m using ai to help me with understanding the grieving process and processing my emotions in a healthier way. It is able to pick out unhealthy patterns and guide me towards more stability. It’s also helping me with logistics and other functional necessities during this tough time. I use it for things like “I don’t understand why I have these feelings of x y z and why she’s suddenly doing this.” And things like “what are the next steps in this phase of divorce.” I will even go a little further a…
/r/Divorce_Men19/02/26 04:07 PM
1

Good job. Things like that aren’t about you and her, it’s about her children. I can’t imagine what hell it would be internally but externally all you can do is put on a smile shake some hands and keep it moving forward.
/r/Divorce_Men19/02/26 03:59 PM
2

Thanks for sharing. I’m glad you got to experience that and that you had someone that helped you maintain healthy boundaries. It’s horrible and heavy that that’s what it takes to realize and it’s not fair to all parties involved. Unfortunately life is complicated. I just opened up to an old fwb from prior to marriage. I had to stop it this morning and let her know I couldn’t communicate with her anymore. I felt guilty, not because of what I was doing but because I saw the trajectory and I didn’t…
/r/Divorce_Men19/02/26 03:52 PM
1

That’s what I’m struggling with now. Don’t get me wrong. I’ve been struggling with this for a decade. I’ve found myself longing for that intimacy. I thought it was sex but when I broke down and started contemplating cheating and looking for potential partners I found myself prioritizing intimacy needs over just sex. Which is very dangerous imo. The last thing I need is becoming attached to another woman out of grief and emotional chaos.
/r/Divorce_Men19/02/26 04:39 AM
1

Sorry I’m blowing you up. I’m assuming you’ve also tried calm talks. Showing how. Praising little things like putting her dish in the sink after you cooked for her and it still didn’t work? Instead does it become “nothing I do is good enough” and “I do everything for you, sometimes I just am too busy” If that’s true. I’ve thought about this a lot and I honestly don’t think you can create a change with that behavior. If they aren’t willing to put in the work then all you’re able to do is drop you…
/r/Divorce_Men19/02/26 04:35 AM
1

To us it’s disrespect. To us it’s a sign of basic hygiene. To people like that, it’s not even in their radar. It’s like this. I can leave my shoes by the door and it doesn’t bother me. I’ll put them up in the morning. The equivalent to them is not doing laundry or dishes for a month.
/r/Divorce_Men19/02/26 04:31 AM
2

I asked mine to shower more and she cried and then made it about a fight and how she was a victim and I was trying to control her body and how it made her feel shame. I as gently as I could brought it up. Concern over lack of hygiene and how it made me lose feelings of intimacy and I wanted to be intimate. It blew up so I dropped it. I just hit the breaking point and I’m in the beginning of my exit strategy.
/r/Divorce_Men19/02/26 04:28 AM
3

Man. Me and you are going through such a similar situation. I’ve considered cheating. I’ve even tested the waters a little in a spiral. It’s not worth it logically and you can lose leverage in an exit. But emotionally and sexually it’s such a strong pull. The need to feel wanted again. The need to feel mutual attraction without expectation. It’s a very hard thing to fight mentally.
/r/Divorce_Men19/02/26 04:25 AM
6

Same boat. I did everything. 10 years. Same boat. I can’t do it any more man. I have been numb for so long but a switch just flipped and I can’t repress reality any longer.
/r/Divorce_Men19/02/26 04:20 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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