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DuffBude Archive

View 2 posts and 72 comments by DuffBude on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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11

I don't think that looks are a propaganda at all. It's a natural desire innate in us. But as others have said: The really rich and famous sometimes just have a marriage for show and status, while they also have a lot of side chicks. Looks are often associated with shallowness, not just career wise but personality wise in general. If a girl is really good looking, she has less incentive to develop her character, because she can already get a guy without much effort. There is also the modern pheno…
/r/RPChristians05/10/20 05:03 AM
2

Thank you very much for your prayers! You are right, we've been praying for him but we can always pray more.
/r/RPChristians17/08/20 04:21 PM
3

That sounds like great advice. Thank you!
/r/RPChristians17/08/20 04:18 PM
1

OYS #8 (OYS #7) 29 years old, 6'0", 193lbs (down 5 lbs), ~19%(?) BF. Married since last summer. Wife pregnant with our first (girl). Fitness I'm surprised that I lost 5 pounds in a week. I think I didn't weigh myself last week, but I even thought I was gaining weight back then. I've mostly stopped eating sweets and continue to eat smaller meals - I just get a small portion, eat it, and then ask myself "Am I still hungry?" The answer is usually "no" so I eat small meals in this way. I also try to…
/r/RPChristians02/08/20 06:13 AM
3

Yeah I'd stay away from the sexual ones, as they probably have high N-counts. Your second paragraph is exactly what I'm talking about. I imagine they are just women who had decent dads. I think you can find them if you know what to look for. They dress more modestly and don't use social media as much. You might have better luck with the younger ones since it's less likely they've been corrupted by some Chad. As they get older, with no Faith, it's only a matter of time..
/r/RPChristians28/07/20 03:59 PM
8

I think /u/UpTanks is giving good advice. But in the meantime, you are right to want to try to develop the abundance mentality. You should definitely get out there and hit on other girls. As for secular women in general, from my experience, the most important thing is just to find a girl with a low/zero N-count. After that, even if she is secular, as long as you are truly a high-value red-pilled man, willing to lead, then usually she will see that your way is much better than all those other les…
/r/RPChristians28/07/20 12:53 PM
2

OYS #7 (OYS #6) 29 years old, 6'0", 198lbs, ~19%(?) BF. Married since last summer. Been a little too busy lately, need to balance things a bit so I can have time for stuff like this. Fitness Eating too many dang sweets. We went blueberry picking and raspberry picking last weekend, so the wife made some treats from that, and I just eat it all up for fear of anything going to waste, haha. Cutting back on that now though. Same ol dumbbell routine 3x per week. Still making progress every week though…
/r/RPChristians24/07/20 06:49 AM
5

Catholic
/r/RPChristians02/07/20 03:30 PM
2

Oh good point! I'll have to give that some thought. Might as well start with Genesis in the meantime though
/r/RPChristians02/07/20 03:13 PM
1

Yeah, we've just finished reading Acts together daily, and now I'm wondering about where to continue. I saw your reading plan in your OYS I think and have been considering that actually. Although, I do like the idea of reading through chronologically so that, for example, I know better what they're referring to in the New Testament when they reference the old scriptures.
/r/RPChristians01/07/20 02:53 PM
1

Side bar and posts the others have linked. The first red pill book I read was When I Say No, I Feel Guilty. I didn't think the title applied to me before I started reading. It was a game changer.
/r/askMRP26/06/20 03:31 PM
3

OYS #6 (OYS #5) 29 years old, 6'0", 198lbs, ~19%(?) BF. Married since last summer. Wife: 29 years old, very little exercise but healthy weight, 6 months pregnant (our first, a girl) Keeping the theme with last week, I've been really working on not getting upset and instead AA etc. It's getting easier with each instance I think. The other day, my wife got upset at me because I didn't want to spend too much money on a stroller (I even suggested we buy my friend's used one off them). She said I was…
/r/RPChristians26/06/20 08:09 AM
1

OYS #5 (OYS #4) 29 years old, 6'0", 205lbs, ~20% BF. Married since last summer. Wife: 29 years old, very little exercise but healthy weight, 6 months pregnant (our first, a girl) I think I'm finally starting to take to heart what others here have told me about not arguing. The last silent treatment lasted about a week. Silent treatment doesn't affect me now as it used to. I'm fine to just do my own thing and I get a lot done then. But after a week, I figured it's not good for our relationship to…
/r/RPChristians20/06/20 06:45 AM
1

OYS #4 (OYS #3) 29 years old, 6'0", 205lbs, ~20% BF. Married since last summer. Wife: 29 years old, very little exercise but healthy weight, 5 months pregnant (our first) I know I should be posting here more often.. and not just when things get rough.. but well here it is (been kinda busy too). We eventually made up from the argument in my last OYS, but here's a new one. I've been trying to implement yall's advice though, it's always much appreciated. Silent treatment My wife has been not talkin…
/r/RPChristians06/06/20 10:18 AM
1

Thanks for the input, yeah if I had treated it that way it probably would have been over a lot quicker, even if she had been upset. And my weight has been commented on here more than once I think, guess I should really lose a bit.
/r/RPChristians02/06/20 09:38 AM
2

Thanks, yeah, if I had taken this approach, it probably would have gone a lot differently and been over a lot quicker.
/r/RPChristians02/06/20 09:30 AM
3

Others have written a lot of good stuff on this already, but my personal thoughts: One great feature of being "red-pilled" that has jumped out to me the most is the matter of freedom of choice. I realized this when I read the secular book "When I Say No, I Feel Guilty". What makes a man red-pilled is that he maintains complete control of himself and of his destiny, and conversely also respects the right of others to their own self-determination. Applied to women, this means being properly assert…
/r/RPChristians26/05/20 08:30 AM
2

I highly recommend this book also. I didn't even know I had a problem with saying no until I read it. It also helped me in general to become more assertive and confident, and less regretful. I didn't really get the stuff in the later part of the book about sex, so I stopped reading it, but the first of the book was well worth the read.
/r/askRPC12/05/20 10:47 AM
1

29 years old, 6'0", 205lbs, ~20% BF. Married since last summer. Wife: 29 years old, very little exercise but healthy weight, 4 months pregnant (our first) Last week's post: https://www.reddit.com/r/RPChristians/comments/gab8hd/oys_where_progress_is_made_042920/fp15l4e/ Had a run-in with the wife today. She tried to call for me from the couch, but I couldn't hear her, since I was working in the other room with headphones on. When I finally did hear, she was annoyed, telling me she had been yellin…
/r/RPChristians08/05/20 09:05 AM
1

Thanks for the feedback! Re: diet. I'm just having a protein shake every day, and otherwise eating normally. No junk food or sweets (most days), but eating fruit and nuts for snacks. I'm not sure how to actually cut aside from that, because when I get hungry, I get a headache and irritability, which goes away if I eat some fruit. It makes it very hard to focus on work, so I'm not sure what other choice I have. I guess I could at least start tracking those days that I do eat junk food (i.e. a pie…
/r/RPChristians06/05/20 06:39 AM
4

I've been thinking lately about how my Faith and the Red Pill have both been such a blessing for me in this quarantine. It prevents me from falling into the victim mentality of letting myself become lazier using the coronavirus as an excuse ("I'll just watch a bunch of TV today, I deserve it because of the coronavirus"). My wife has been so happy to have more time together also, constantly in a good mood and telling me how happy she is. And it looks like others in this thread are having the same…
/r/RPChristians01/05/20 03:32 AM
2

OYS #2 29 years old, 6'0", 205lbs, ~20% BF. Married since last summer.Wife: 29 years old, very little exercise but healthy weight, 4 months pregnant with our first. Been a while since my last post, so this one is a little long. Last post:https://www.reddit.com/r/RPChristians/comments/fdeb3g/oys_where_progress_is_made_030420/fjobu34/?context=3 ​ TL;DR here: I slacked a bit when the quarantine hit. Got mostly back on track but still need to iron out a quarantine-updated version of my mission. Wife…
/r/RPChristians30/04/20 05:37 AM
2

Right there with ya! Thanks for the good links, that second one is unreal
/r/RPChristians28/04/20 12:05 PM
1

I was already working out at home only, using adjustable dumbbells. I'm also planning to get back into taking walks with some of said weights in my backpack (rucking). If I didn't have those I would do the Recommended Routine on /r/bodyweightfitness.
/r/askMRP15/04/20 11:27 AM
1

Good points. Yeah, I was kind of confused from the feedback on my post about the debt. Some guys were saying to keep finances split for protection, but it seemed the most solid advice was saying to combine finances. You've given me a lot of resources and it all looks great, got a lot of reading to do! I'll update on my next OYS what I've done.
/r/RPChristians12/03/20 10:12 AM
1

I remember that post. Here's the question: do you see her as financially responsible, or irresponsible? Because based on that post, she has access to your account but you don't have access to hers, or even know her financial situation. So whether you've "made up" or not, where are you at on this? Good question, she has told me that it's about 6k, so I overestimated it. She is putting all of her paycheck towards it. She is only on a one-year contract, and will have to quit even a couple months be…
/r/RPChristians10/03/20 02:16 PM
1

Makes a lot of sense. I'll get more consistent with praying with her daily and start giving her a few more tasks around the house. She is not bad with doing things I ask her to, I just was trying not to ask her to do so much since she was pregnant. I guess she and I were both thinking that she should get as much rest as possible. But if you say from experience that it's not THAT debilitating, well that's something I that will account for. And I'll look into that Bible study, thanks.
/r/RPChristians10/03/20 09:51 AM
4

As far as serious comparisons with other women, I just remind myself that even if I got with them, I would still become bored of them and be thinking about yet other girls after that. Just human nature. So I'm better off just staying with the one I got. As for how to just stop plain lusting after women, this helped me: https://youtu.be/VKN1lssGINk In general I find that it's easier when I am fully cognizant of the fulfilment of my life goals, and actively working towards that. I feel fulfilled i…
/r/askMRP08/03/20 09:41 PM
1

Hey, thanks a lot for the input. Your comment was timed very well. This morning I just started on a guided meditation Bible study book, and after reading your comment I went to my wife and invited her to join me in doing today's meditation. I rarely do anything like this these days, much less with her, so it was very awkward, which shows how much we need to do it more. I've already learned that being genuine and relating my personal experience in the Faith is critical to getting her to relate. A…
/r/RPChristians08/03/20 08:29 PM
1

Hi all. First time posting here. 6'0, 205lbs. Lift dumbbells 3x a week and carry a 40lb backpack to/from work every day, do pullups at work. My wife and I just got to see the ultrasound of our first baby. I really want to make this the start of a great life for the whole family. So I'm posting here. My wife is happy and things are going well, but considering that we've argued in the past, I want to make sure I stay on the straight and narrow. We had disagreements about children and debt as recen…
/r/RPChristians06/03/20 07:57 PM
4

In my experience, a woman is not going to cure your loneliness. If you aren't comfortable being alone with yourself, she won't be either. And that requires liking yourself, which requires making wise decisions for your spiritual, mental, and physical health, for the benefit of your future self. Living the Faith will help you with that. But it takes time. I second the others in saying you should find a church to become a part of, and to help you grow with Christ.
/r/RPChristians23/02/20 11:20 AM
3

My mission is to have a family, to raise the kids in the right way, and to build a lifestyle that allows me and my family to be happy and healthy, physically and mentally. My career is a means for that. I think the fact that my kids will outlive me and go on to have grandkids, that's what gives me the feeling that my efforts have a lasting effect on the world. But if a family is not possible for whatever reason, perhaps you can pursue having a lasting effect through some other way in your career…
/r/askMRP20/02/20 07:35 AM
1

I can relate. And it's going to be hard to convince your wife to move somewhere based on you, if she doesn't feel confident in you or trust you. My wife didn't trust me when I tried to convince her to move anywhere, because I was complaining too much about where we currently live. She felt that I would complain no matter where we lived. Therefore I made a conscious effort to stop complaining, and she instantly improved. (I think it's a good approach to life in general, in fact.. Counting your bl…
/r/askRPC18/02/20 07:02 AM
2

I once talked to a red pilled Christian gentleman who offers marriage counseling with his wife through their church. He said that, of international relationships, they usually work out better if they are living in the man's home country. I wonder if that applies to states as well. It makes sense that you would be better off if you live somewhere where you yourself have a good social network, are comfortable and confident. So, maybe don't move near her family, but near yours instead? (Just don't …
/r/askRPC11/02/20 04:16 AM
3

Again, why does she have a low sex drive? It could have something to do with you. Have you read the sidebar?
/r/askMRP04/02/20 11:50 AM
8

Do you really think that a vibrator is the solution to your wife's low sex drive? Are you 100% positive that it has nothing to do with you? It sounds to me like a band-aid for a larger problem
/r/askMRP04/02/20 11:33 AM
6

Imo it's related to the welfare state. Before the welfare state, if a woman slept around then she would get pregnant with the child of a guy who wouldn't or couldn't provide for the child. So then she would either have to rely on her parents or just be SOL. Abandon the child to some nuns or something. So that's why there was a very strong stigma against sleeping around. Nowadays she has the welfare state to provide for her, or to ensure that the man provides for her through child support, no mat…
/r/askRPC16/01/20 05:40 AM
2

Different cultures only or also different races? My wife and I are both white, but while I'm American, she's from eastern Europe. Luckily we are both Catholic, but the cultural differences have been a cause for misunderstandings before. And I often wonder how our future kids (God willing) will handle.
/r/askRPC13/01/20 03:22 PM
3

The footnote from my Bible; "Michal’s reaction to David’s dancing comes from her conception of how a king should comport himself. David rejects this understanding, saying he needs no instruction from the house of the failed king, Saul." So it sounds to me more like a personal issue that caused her resentment: if her dad was a failed king, then she might look for any way to criticize a more successful one, out of bitterness. (Especially if she was old, it doesn't mention that apparently.) And in …
/r/askRPC11/01/20 06:42 AM
2

You make good points. Thanks for the advice
/r/askMRP07/01/20 05:53 AM
7

Great idea, thanks! I'll be doing it too then
/r/RPChristians01/01/20 03:03 PM
1

Good points, thanks
/r/askMRP01/01/20 01:48 PM
1

I guess the Catholic perspective is that the two become one. So I would think you should be able to trust them completely, and that's what makes it important to vet properly to find someone you can trust
/r/askMRP01/01/20 01:43 PM
1

Thanks, I think you're onto something. The fact of the matter is that I want a big family. I wish I didn't, but it's the most central, lifelong purpose that I can truly find in myself. But we are both almost 30. I never did the math (about fertility etc) until after we were already making wedding plans. But I couldn't bring myself to do anything just based on that. Plenty of couples end up not being able to have children and it's something that you just have to accept I guess. But it doesn't sto…
/r/askMRP31/12/19 03:45 PM
1

Thanks, you're probably right
/r/askMRP31/12/19 03:30 PM
1

Thanks, practical advice
/r/askMRP31/12/19 03:29 PM
2

You make a great point. I would rather that we didn't get down on one knee like that. But I would probably still do it again if I went back in time. I think it is more of a cultural custom and expectation at this point. It's kinda like how in some languages, you are supposed to use a formal word when referring to older people. It's a kind of submission, even though they don't have an exact authority over you. But it's a cultural custom, an expectation, that you have to fulfill to successfully fu…
/r/RPChristians07/11/19 08:07 AM
5

Sorry to hear about the relapse man. I don't talk to my wife about that stuff at all. I used to, but it tore her up and she just couldn't handle it. Eventually I stopped talking to her about it, and she stopped asking me about it. It is rough, because your relapses do affect your relationship with her negatively. And at some point, she will notice it, and want to know what's going on. But you just can't tell her. My wife wants me to be her strong leader. She doesn't want to see me as a victim to…
/r/askRPC04/11/19 01:27 PM
1

Do you have a link to where I can read more on this interpretation of that verse? I was debating my other Christian friends about it just the other day
/r/RPChristians28/10/19 09:19 PM
4

Why was she even messing with that guy then or lying to you? I don't doubt you, it just seems like she would want to play things safe then
/r/askTRP14/10/19 04:44 AM
3

I've noticed the same with myself. Not long ago I started trying to speak more often in my deeper, more natural voice. One hurtle I had to jump over was the fear of people thinking I seem weird for changing my voice all of the sudden. I just decided to not give a fuck what they think about it. So e.g. I would see a coworker and say "Hello" accidentally in my high voice, think "fuck" and then switch to my natural deep voice for the rest of the conversation. Eventually it started to become more of…
/r/askTRP13/10/19 07:27 PM
1

If you are doing Strong lifts 5x5, then you need to deload a lot. It's repeatedly explained in StrongLifts that you must start from a very low/easy weight in order to practice your form. (And progess gradually from there) https://stronglifts.com/5x5/#gref
/r/askMRP12/10/19 09:13 AM
0

If you can't stop thinking about her, it is because you still feel like maybe she was a good deal. That means you either (A) haven't truly internalized how shitty she was, or (B) have a bad opinion of yourself, that you might deserve someone like that. Whatever you remember about her probably seems a lot better than it actually was (rose colored glasses). Whenever I meet a girl from the past it always turns out like that. Plus you were less red-pilled back then, so you couldn't see her flaws as …
/r/askTRP11/10/19 12:54 PM
3

Well, I know what you mean. I agree that many Christian communities nowadays really neglect masculinity and give men the totally wrong message that they need to sacrifice themselves to the desires of their wives. And I do have some bluepill habits that I am working on weeding out. But what I meant by Christian principles, and maybe what you were hitting on exactly, was the fact that marriage is considered indissoluble, especially for me as a Catholic. Basically dread game is based on the threat …
/r/TheRedPill11/10/19 08:44 AM
2

That's a great point about not trying too hard. I once fucked it up, I was with my wife at a church event when a young pretty girl (who we both recognized but had never officially met) smiled at me. I smiled back. Then I made a stupid move: in case my wife saw, I explained, "she smiled at me". Wife flipped shit, supposedly because of (1) smiling at the girl and (2) telling her about it, which she claimed I did to make her jealous. She got more upset than I had seen her be in a while. So yeah, ev…
/r/TheRedPill11/10/19 08:13 AM
3

It's never about what it's about. Your wife is not annoyed by stupid towels. She's annoyed by you. I understand that you also find her behavior annoying. But until she feels more lucky to have you then it's not really going to change.
/r/askMRP10/10/19 03:23 PM
1

Read "I Feel Guilty When I Say No". It teaches you how to be assertive. As I understand it, assertiveness means communicating what you want, without feeling guilty about it. You can do this without being an asshole by respecting also other people's right to assertiveness. For example, deciding where to eat for dinner. The beta route would be saying "I'm fine with anywhere, you pick". The assertive route would be saying "I want to eat at this restaurant". If she wants to eat somewhere else, you w…
/r/askTRP10/10/19 12:48 PM
4

Hey man, thanks for sharing, I can relate, especially about principles as a Christian. Sounds like I need to hit that gym harder. I exercise 3-4 times per week, but no six pack or anything. I guess that makes all the difference.
/r/TheRedPill10/10/19 07:29 AM
1

Read the books "When I Say No, I Feel Guilty" and "No More Mister Nice Guy", in that order (it's recommended in the sidebar)
/r/MarriedRedPill08/10/19 01:44 PM
2

Maybe related, but the moment I posted a wedding pic, all the girls I was previously with, but haven't spoken to in ages, came out fucking of the woodwork to "like" it. It was weird.
/r/askTRP08/10/19 12:09 PM
1

Well, with some severe restraints, as I explained at length in my previous comment. Don't you get the idea?
/r/askTRP07/10/19 03:09 PM
1

When I say social media, I mean useless feeds of addictive junk that keep you scrolling but don't provide you anything in the long run. So with reddit, I unsubscribed from all the default subs, then selectively chose subs that only brought me something productive (note: politics is not productive), for example the sub for each one of my hobbies and career interests. These are interesting, but only interesting in such a way that they propel me to get out into the world to do things, rather than k…
/r/askTRP07/10/19 02:13 PM
2

I used to be like that, and it was because I was already being overly stimulated by porn and video games. Everything else just became boring in comparison. Since I live in a foreign country without many contacts, it was even worse. So I basically decided to cut out all sources of vicarious living. That means porn, video games, social media, TV, the works. Anything that I didn't feel cool telling my coworkers about when they asked "How was your weekend?" It really sucked at first, and I was faced…
/r/askTRP07/10/19 01:31 PM
5

Yeah there are a lot of assholes on here. I guess they are trying to get away from the beta mentality themselves but overcompensating in the other direction. It's sad that so many of them will get upvoted like heck and drown out the more reasonable and actually confident, assertive guys.
/r/askTRP02/10/19 07:26 PM
33

That's weird. I've always thought that it's kinda beta to make those social media posts praising your girlfriend. Isn't it a bit clingy?
/r/askTRP28/09/19 05:55 AM
3

I think along those lines too. But there are times when I tell my wife something about what I'm thinking and she latches on to the wrong things in an annoying way. Then I just wish I hadn't told her anything. For example, "my coworker is kind of awkward, I'd like to help him out a little", she interprets that as "I'm going to invite him over and he's going to be my new best friend", and starts telling me "no he's weird!", rather than just interpreting it as "I'll tell him to toughen up whenever …
/r/TheRedPill25/09/19 06:49 AM
5

So her implication is that being nice is still important (just not the only factor). This still misses the mark with guys, because being "nice" is exactly what gets them no where. To a guy, being nice means being submissive. But that's not the "nice" that women want. The "nice" that they want is simply this: respecting others' rights to do what they want. Beyond that, you don't submit to shit. You do what YOU want. That's where the "purposeful" part comes from.
/r/TheRedPill12/09/19 11:46 AM
74

I knew it. She was being way too critical for all that to actually have been true. If she actually thought she was that ugly, she would likely be too insecure to talk about it like that.
/r/TheRedPill12/09/19 11:40 AM
32

Same man, that rarely ever happens to me on reddit but this one got me
/r/TheRedPill10/09/19 07:10 AM
1

Two weeks ago, I gave her my number and asked her to hit me up on the weekend if she wanted to hang out. I feel I was pretty clear that I was asking her out and she visibly blushed but said okay. ​ Because why would she go out for drinks with a guy if she was already dating? These are covert contracts. (read No More Mister Nice Guy.) You should avoid them. Don't assume decency like that from women. Women can do just about whatever they want with you and then justify it with "but I only see you a…
/r/askTRP04/09/19 01:09 PM
1

As others have said, you slept with her yet did nothing and kept it as friends. It sounds like you were too scared to make a move. She sees that you lack courage and is thus no longer interested in you sexually. She will still take attention from you though. This 6 month review bullshit is just her trying to keep you hanging on and giving her attention. Don't give it to her. Stop hanging out with her and seek other women (with whom you will flirt and not do this just-friends cuddling bullshit an…
/r/askTRP04/09/19 12:42 PM
8

If not counseling, at least some good MALE friends you can talk to about it. You don't have to bottle your feelings in. You also don't have to rely on your wife with them.
/r/MarriedRedPill26/08/19 06:39 PM
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