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DumbDumbDatingPhD100 Archive

View 3 posts and 83 comments by DumbDumbDatingPhD100 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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I came across a familiar user name. This person said that a claim was unfalsifiable: https://www.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/17vxtf6/comment/k9edzi0/ And again: https://www.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/17vxtf6/comment/k9ecl3j/ So where did I remember that username from? Oh yeah: https://www.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/17mgm9a/comment/k7ld9ql/ (Claims my gf of a decade ago would have moved with me had I not cried in front of her at some point years earlier) Cue Ala…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/11/23 02:31 AM
3

Shared equity. By definition, no new person can offer the time spent together and the built up emotions and trust. That has added a great deal to the relationship over the time. The fraction of the value of my relationship attributable to the things that we brought to the table immediately (looks, some aspects of personality, etc) is tiny compared to the whole.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/11/23 07:33 PM
17

Yes but people don’t want to cry, usually, to begin with, so that’s kind of moot. At least, I didn’t choose to cry in those moments… or suppressing crying would have taken more effort than it was worth. I don’t feel aroused or more attracted to women when they cry. So yes, I would rather not cry, but (in my experience) the cost to crying hasn’t been exorbitantly high. It’s also context dependent: if you cry at the drop of the hat, I can see that being very unattractive
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/23 01:54 AM
11

I dumped her… I gave two examples. Do you need my whole sexual resume? Listen man, you clearly have a prior you are unwilling to change. That’s fine. You are welcome to believe whatever you want about me and my life.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/23 01:46 AM
13

Ah yes, the woman I cried in front of in 2012, when we broke up in 2016 because I moved away… Or my gf of 7 years whom I have cried in front of multiple times? Do you want an update in 2055?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/23 01:34 AM
35

I have cried in front of many women for totally real and legit reasons. I still had sex/relationships/etc with all of them. Nothing “changed” after I was emotional. It didn’t matter because they were already attracted to me, dating me, sleeping with me, etc. While I’m sure there are men who get dumped after that, I know many, myself included, didn’t. I would be interested in any data on this, because there are anecdotes both ways.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/11/23 11:56 PM
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Depends on the bar. Can take a while to find one.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/11/23 01:37 AM
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Take a book and go read in a bar. Netted me many dates and escapades
/r/PurplePillDebate02/11/23 01:24 AM
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I wouldn’t care if my wife/partner made less. I would care if it was lower because she didn’t want to pursue something intellectually challenging. It’s not a moral failing, just a compatibility issue.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/11/23 01:05 AM
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Thank you, yours too
/r/PurplePillDebate02/11/23 12:56 AM
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I don’t deny men get it too, but the context is a bit different. I’m talking about women/people who receive praise, garner successes, etc that are ostensibly due to non-beauty related activities but are actually getting a leg up on their less attractive rivals due to looks (implicitly). In the Meeks example: if everyone just said “the millionaire married him because he’s a great cook!” In reality, it’s because he’s hot, but there’s no supposition that it’s due to something else
/r/PurplePillDebate02/11/23 12:51 AM
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Rock on
/r/PurplePillDebate02/11/23 12:38 AM
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I guess the flip side is, if you were gorgeous you might never trust that anyone truly respects you for non-physical attributes. I have female friends who often feel like that, and it is truthfully impossible to tell what’s an honest appreciation of talent vs, well… simping
/r/PurplePillDebate02/11/23 12:28 AM
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Yes but I see this more with things that are directly targeted towards appearance: gym stuff, clothing, etc Like I see a lot more ugly men doing comedy than I see ugly women doing comedy
/r/PurplePillDebate02/11/23 12:25 AM
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Can women be unattractive and accomplished? Because your response is exactly the response I expected. Why are there no fat, unattractive women getting attention for their travel pics? The public facing one doesn’t hold water: there are numerous ugly guys on all these “sports shows” getting plenty of attention.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/11/23 12:24 AM
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Q4 Traditionally unattractive women: Do you find non explicitly sexual pretty privilege of “hot” women annoying/frustrating? A couple examples: I follow lots of travel pages on IG. Every now and again a recommendation from a semi-amateur IG travel photographer comes up. When they are women, I see a trend. They are often very attractive. They will have a photo of themselves in front of some waterfall in a bathing suit. They will have a hiking pic, in which they are wearing basically boy shorts an…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/11/23 12:16 AM
1

The way people talk about blue pill on head, you would think it is grandma platitudes…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/23 04:53 AM
1

Ok so I’m “no pilled” and that was my impression of blue pill: someone for everyone, just be yourself, etc If it’s not that, what is it?
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/23 01:59 AM
2

But why is that their worldview? That’s the question. People get bombarded by the same messaging. Some just seem to take the bait much more easily.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/23 01:57 AM
3

Well this is part of my contention. Edit: let me elaborate. I can’t speak for everyone, and I consider myself “no pill,” but I think many blue pillers don’t take it literally. So another way of phrasing the question is “why did some people take the blue pill more at face value than others?” This is just conjecture of course.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/23 12:17 AM
4

But I think there are unlucky people who never fully bought in from the get go. I’m asking where the disparity in “buy in” comes from. Or is truly just random?
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/23 12:12 AM
2

Interesting. Sexually successful men and women: are they not aware of the truth by willful or naive ignorance?
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/23 12:11 AM
4

I wouldn’t consider myself blue pulled. I’m no pill, really. I just mean that I never took the “blue pill” that seriously to begin with (subconsciously). And it seems there a lot of people like me and a lot of people who have been betrayed, but not many people “in the middle,” so to speak
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/23 12:06 AM
3

I, as a no-pill male, care about intelligence much more than the actual career. Of course, these things are highly related, so it’s hard to disentangle the effects. And for the most part, career + education is the standard screen for intelligence. But I’m also a huge fucking snob
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/21 07:20 PM
2

Trying to balance my sex and work life. I am deeply connected to my work, and I cannot separate pleasure and business. If my work goes badly, or I am not making creative progress, my sex drive plummets. This is difficult to manage in an LTR sometimes
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/21 11:42 AM
2

Huge amounts of attention (compared to other content you could post) with basically 0 cost. The chances of being outed/caught are basically 0. Your face and photos fade away under the onslaught of 1000s of new ones in an instant.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/21 03:14 AM
1

I never masturbate before working out. I mean, literally within the day. If I’m working out after work, no morning JO. Can’t risk it
/r/PurplePillDebate10/05/21 08:38 PM
1

I think less than half of my partners have been into it, but it wasn’t that small a percentage. Probably at least a fourth of them
/r/PurplePillDebate10/05/21 08:24 PM
2

I send nudes, when asked, to people I’m sexually involved with. My face is not in the photos. They are not just of my dick. I try to make them hot, and my partners have done the same. Some people never ask and it never comes up. Some women are into it and hint at it right away. I am now in an LTR and my gf and I very rarely sext. It just depends on the person.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/05/21 08:07 PM
9

I disagree. Again, it depends on socioeconomic status and education. I strongly disagree with your final paragraph. I would never consider those qualities sufficient for a partner, and I don’t think any of my, let’s be frank, high income + high education male peers would either.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/05/21 12:07 PM
4

Strong disagree, but I suspect this varies greatly by socioeconomic status, career, etc
/r/PurplePillDebate10/05/21 11:49 AM
2

Where did I say you shouldn’t celebrate them?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/21 06:16 PM
4

The marketing part or the other part? I am not a marketer so maybe. As for the second part, that’s just philosophy that has worked very well in my life. To that end, I don’t really give a fuck if anyone here disagrees with the second part, no offense Edit: unless you mean have specific goals. I agree with that, actually, on a micro basis. But I think as life style, it is exhausting. I make highly specific goals for my work, etc all the time
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/21 05:42 PM
28

It’s the same with any marketing ploy: push the outliers to the front. As far as from the young mens’ perspective: I don’t think it’s bad to believe you can achieve those goals. The key word is “can.” It’s good to have goals to push you to work hard, but it’s ok to be realistic too. The vaguer the better. I want to be a “great” professor. Will I be? Who knows? But the desire to be great is vague enough that I can carry it with me... forever. So if you want to be a “great” man, go for it. But bew…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/21 04:41 PM
2

Right but a lot of the arguing in this thread is about his face. No one is arguing about his height, obviously.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/21 04:14 PM
4

Doesn’t seem to the point on this PPD thread. Lots of comments about he’s easily above average facially. Interesting that almost all those comments are coming from men
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/21 02:52 PM
1

Women are giving him a height halo you mean? Maybe on the apps where he’s having success, yeah. My point is, if he was 5’7”, I don’t think this post would exist.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/21 02:50 PM
4

If he wasn’t this tall, I doubt he would have been that successful. On face alone, I think he is average to slightly above average. But I’m a straight guy, so what do I know
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/21 02:38 PM
16

I see much more attractive men around me all the time. I’m a straight man but I think he is facially average, at best, but his height is obviously exceptional.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/21 02:36 PM
7

Thank you! I’m a straight man but I see more handsome people every single day. He’s not ugly. He’s just... a guy. If he wasn’t 6’7”, we wouldn’t even be discussing this. People are giving him a height halo or something
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/21 02:26 PM
20

Not sure what point this post is trying to make? He’s average looking, facially. And he’s approaching goofy tall levels. I have two friends that height. One does really well, the other struggles. When you are that tall you risk becoming kind of a joke without confidence to go with it. I’d much rather be 6’ ish than 6’7”
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/21 02:18 PM
2

I never even considered texting and blocking till after I read this sub, but I agree it’s a better strategy
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/21 12:19 AM
2

It’s still nerve wracking to send those texts or have those talks. And it’s so easy to chicken out
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/21 11:52 PM
2

It sounds true. I’m a guy. I have only received or given the ghosting treatment pre-sex. This depends on the definition of ghosting I guess. There were some casual encounters where it was sort of understood it was a one time thing, I think. I THINK anyone I slept with more than 1-2 times I at least had a text conversation with saying it was done. I like the quote though. Pithy
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/21 11:19 PM
3

Think about the people who post on this sub: People with bad dating experiences People who are bored and want to laugh at the people in the above category in a cruel and unhelpful way People who are obsessed with extrapolating results from simple cross-sectional psychology studies to the entirety of the human species. Older people who have no conception of what modern dating is like People taking shits and browsing the internet. Is this really who you want your world view to come from? Ironicall…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/21 08:22 PM
2

This is only true for younger men, I think. When you are older, there is an expectation that you be hot and accomplished. So I would say the top tier men in 30+ category are probably pretty interesting/smart/accomplished and attractive. This is my hypothesis, at least
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/21 05:21 PM
2

It depends on who you’re trying to date and fuck. In my experience, being passionate about your work/studies/hobbies is an extremely attractive quality to women. So to that end, the definition of exciting changes. To a 22 year old Instagram influencer, I’m boring. To a 28 year old aspiring “intellectual” (I hate that word), I’m more exciting. This is not a replacement for looks, by the way
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/21 05:04 PM
7

Kind of an aside: I find it interesting how tastes do or do not change. I’m 30 now, and I see women closer to my age whom I’m much more attracted to than this woman. And these women aren’t models or anything like that. 5 years ago I would have disagreed. Clearly, Mr. Affleck disagrees, but I wonder why it happens for some and not others. In fact, I can say my taste has tracked my age consistently through my life
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/21 12:17 PM
2

Yeah exactly. And Covid lockdown making people less inhibited? Who knows
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/21 01:50 AM
1

Yeah in retrospect maybe. I guess his delivery was off. Ha!
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/21 01:49 AM
26

My girlfriend gets approached on the street wearing a mask, in full winter gear. One time a guy said “You look like my ex.” Why would you use that line on someone clearly covered up head to toe where you can’t even distinguish their features?! My point being is that I think it has more to do with the guy than the woman’s attractiveness. I would never approach a woman in the street no matter how hot. I’m sure there are guys who are approaching shit loads.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/21 09:22 PM
2

Not really. There are many ways to date and meet people (online, social circle, school, activities, etc). The fact that one specific form of meeting people is not as prevalent is just too much pickiness for me to have sympathy. I guess it’s her loss
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/21 04:09 PM
1

Someone else also mentioned this: Men have lower risk aversion. Consequently there will be more men taking higher risks on average, and they will reap the payoffs went it pans out. If my hypothesis is true, then we should see more men in the left tail of the return distribution as well. Ironically, this is exactly the sort of thing I should be able to look up or ask around, since this is my field, but I am too lazy to do so. I think OP’s hypothesis, though worded kinda aggressively, is interesti…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/21 02:38 PM
13

That doesn’t address the point that’s irrefutable though
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/21 03:34 AM
1

I hear what you’re saying. I think your characterization of “women good, men bad” is a bit hyperbolic, but that’s beside the point. I sound like a Luddite when I say this but I think places like Reddit, social media, etc (and this includes TRP, I think) are partly to blame. My hunch is the following: Online socialization is a terrible substitute for real-life socialization. Some young men (and women) experience bad outcomes in real-life. Instead of being forced to “suck it up” and try again to m…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/21 09:51 PM
75

Your first paragraph is irrefutable. Not in a good way. What evidence would constitute proof against it? “They subconsciously know they’ll eventually get dumped...” What could anyone say to this that could not be immediately dismissed as “It’s subconscious, so even if you think you disagree, you actually don’t.”
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/21 09:44 PM
8

In my experience, people go through phases. When I was sleeping around, I was doing that because I didn’t want a GF. There were women during those phases that I think, in retrospect, would have been really good partners for a while. I wasn’t ready for that and I preferred to date around. I wanted to seduce, to flirt with someone new. It wasn’t about just sex, for me at least.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/21 01:27 PM
1

I am just trying to be even-handed vis a vis FDS. You could be right they’re all miserable, which I guess is actually the point of this thread, so your answer is more in line. I don’t watch much TV either so I can’t speak to that. The only point I don’t quite follow is the part about “in another age...” Maybe I’m too old (30), but I learned a lot of the standard life lessons from my parents and then my friends as we grew up, went to school etc. Why do you think this doesn’t work anymore? It soun…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/21 04:35 PM
1

I’m happy for you. I think what I’m getting at is that much of what you describe is not specific to TRP/FDS/whatever. It’s just good advice. While you may have come to it via TRP, it’s not knowledge that is exclusive to those movements. Those FDS/TRP movements, to me, seem to have a lot of bitching and moaning on top of the good advice that doesn’t seem to improve people’s happiness. But maybe I’m wrong
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/21 02:52 PM
1

And what did I say that doesn’t fall under that umbrella?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/21 02:32 PM
1

The assumption being that people who are “lower down” would be happier if they had FDS/TRP than if they didn’t? It’s not clear to me that’s true.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/21 02:31 PM
60

I would wager the people who don’t need goons on Internet message boards to tell them how to behave will end up happiest of all.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/21 07:12 PM
3

They’re afraid, and I don’t say that in a cruel way. They’re just scared of a world that hasn’t been nice to them, and they come here and are ASSURED it only gets worse.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/21 04:48 PM
1

Yes because you keep assuming that posting here is a substitute for real-world experience. They are complements. And that’s being generous
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/21 03:25 PM
1

I can’t say what works for me will work for anyone else. I am lucky in that, over that time, I basically discovered what I want to do with my life. One is the thing I’m getting my PhD in, the other is my greatest passion/hobby. It seems unrelated but for me it changed everything. No one can take away these things from me. Of course, I have a small group of close friends and I’m close to my family as well. When you put things together, everything else seems so not worth sweating about. It’s not e…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/21 12:26 PM
1

I’m being flippant
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/21 11:18 AM
1

I was like that early in college. By the end of sophomore year and I finally shed it. It was a difficult process though
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/21 11:18 AM
0

As opposed to the wellspring of rational, non-emotional posting that goes on here?
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/21 11:10 AM
2

That the TRP has somehow co-opted “be fit and be confident” as part of their dating platform and ideology is truly one of the greatest marketing achievements of all time.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/21 04:05 AM
16

You see a lot of young posters getting analysis paralysis, and that is heartbreaking, for me at least. I wish there was a way to teach low inhibition. I think it would benefit many people here.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/21 03:54 AM
3

What about them? I feel bad for them and wish them well. People fail to find relationships for a multitude of reasons. Sometimes they are kind but lack other desirable characteristics. Sometimes it’s just plain old bad luck in not meeting the right people
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/21 08:52 PM
1

That’s not really the colloquial use of the term. “Nice guy” usually refers to someone who is not sincere in his kindness
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/21 08:20 PM
14

Nice Guy = cloying, insincere, boring. Nice Guy doesn’t actually mean “kind male.”
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/21 04:16 PM
6

People are too inherently jealous, me included.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/21 03:11 AM
1

I only care about money insofar as it can be a reflection of my career, hard work, etc. Put differently, if a woman wanted to take me somewhere I couldn’t afford, I might feel bad not because a woman is paying, but because I am unable to afford it. If I could afford it, but she still wanted to pay for everything, I would be fine with it. Edit: To be clear: money doesn’t matter to me as long as I’m high achieving in my given field. Pride comes from that
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/21 02:27 PM
3

If you go to a video game conference/festival/whatever, you’re more likely to meet women/men who like video games. There will be hangers-on, as with any place, but the incidence of true believers will be higher. I’m not a gamer, so maybe this is wrong. The higher the barrier to entry, the higher the chance of finding someone with a true passion. Also, the less broadly popular the hobby, the less likely to find frauds, as you might say. Hell, I go to sports games I don’t care about just for the e…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/21 12:47 PM
0

I know what it means. No need to get testy, my feline friend
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/21 12:21 PM
1

I don’t think we disagree with anything here. The question is “What are the delineating factors? Is mainly socioeconomic status? Is it mental health? Is the someone’s childhood? Is it the city they live in?” Now the answer really could be “bad luck in life experience.” But I’m interested in if there is a common thread
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/21 12:17 PM
0

I agree. That’s why I said there are dividing lines in education, social class, etc. We could use your examples of location as another line. I’m not denying peoples’ experiences. I’m merely pointing out they are foreign to me, despite me having ostensibly similar traits (on some dimensions)
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/21 02:27 AM
2

I’m short (5’6”) but have been attractive to women a lot of my life (physically), because of athletic build + handsome face. So for me personally, I agree with OP that frame is really important.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/21 10:02 PM
4

Am I the only short man on the Internet who has had a successful dating life, both casually and more seriously? Am I the only person on this sub who isn’t totally miserable and burdened by infinite romantic sadness? I’m not trying to kick people while they’re down, but I made this Reddit account specifically because I want to participate in this sub. It’s like traveling to bizarro world. It makes me wonder if there are educational, cultural, etc lines that I, and others like me, are on one side …
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/21 09:52 PM
1

Leaving aside the fact that Hank is played by a handsome actor in a TV show: The cavalier, devil may care attitude of someone like Hank seems to be the antithesis of this hyper analytical sub... “If the woman says X and then the man must say Y beep boop beep 🤖 “
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/21 09:01 PM
2

OLD is what I have always used. I was just out of college when Tinder was blossoming. Most of my social circle is either 1. Friends who live far away so we keep in touch via the Internet, or 2. Colleagues, whom I don’t want to date. For me OLD = chatting at the bar, with a bigger pool and a less time wasted I think without OLD, we would still be doing approaches in bars.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/21 08:47 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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