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View 1 post and 69 comments by Dwro1234 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
83

Dwro1234/r/Divorce_Men13/08/22 11:28 AM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
2

Any family law firm worth their salt will shotgun subpoenas to local banks and credit unions, as well as the national ones. Can't hide accounts when the banks are compelled to provide information.
/r/Divorce_Men26/06/26 01:07 PM
1

In that case, do not tell her. In the wirds of my attorney: " give her enough rope to hang herself"
/r/Divorce_Men21/06/26 05:19 PM
3

Check your state laws on that. Depending on them any recordings nay not be admissable and you could actually be charged. That's why i stated loudly and clearly at the beginning of each recording, that "i am video and audio recording this interaction"
/r/Divorce_Men21/06/26 02:00 PM
1

The second she made that threat: "from now on all of our interactions will be recorded"
/r/Divorce_Men21/06/26 01:31 PM
20

She makes more than you? Don't be afraid to ask for alimony
/r/Divorce_Men19/06/26 06:06 PM
4

She's clearly depressed, and reading this I think we can infer why. She's stuck living with someone who doesn't love her and the main complaint is sex... Not her mental well being, not the lack of drive, not the physical health, but sex and appearance.
/r/Divorce_Men30/05/26 10:08 PM
2

Exactly! I'd rather fly kites or rides scooters than go on a date. That may change in 10 years, but right now I want to spend time with my kids. I lost a lot of time with the older ones while i was in the army, can't justify it now.
/r/Divorce_Men27/05/26 11:19 PM
7

Get a therapist, it'll help get some perspective and how to deal with these pent up emotions. It'll also address your internal need to be with someone. You need to learn to be happy on your own and with your kids. Only then should you even consider dating again. You don't want to be with someone who is mid 30s and wants their first kid. They're dating with the intention to get pregnant and marry. Instead you should look for someone that wants to date to find a lasting connection. Yes, those are …
/r/Divorce_Men27/05/26 09:39 PM
6

If it's casual, then you shouldn't meet the kids. If it's serious then at least 6 months of serious dating before meeting the kids. Even if the kids are teens, you're becoming part of their lives once you're introduced. A partner shouldn't be introduced to kids unless its a stable relationship with long term potential. That is actually in my divorce decree as well, because x had a habit of bringing people around the kids.
/r/Divorce_Men17/05/26 02:25 AM
3

That's a whole different level of fucked up then. Sorry
/r/Divorce_Men03/05/26 04:28 AM
0

The other guy probably doesn't even know she's married.
/r/Divorce_Men02/05/26 10:53 PM
19

Do not tell her anything. Play along, low friction, collect evidence. In the words of my attorney "give her enough rope to hang herself". Contact an attorney now, get a plan of action, figure out the next steps, and a timeline WITH that attorney. Do not let ger know anything. You can do this on your terms, or hers. Once you tell her it's her terms.
/r/Divorce_Men02/05/26 10:51 PM
2

If you have the money, just offer to pay 50% of cash tuition (that's after scholarships and fafsa), which is fair that each parent contributes half. That's a very reasonable compromise. If the ex wants to support this then she'll have to get the job to finance her half. You shouldn't be used like a wallet, and i think your daughter should be talking to you about this moreso than the ex
/r/Divorce_Men18/04/26 03:44 PM
7

Why do you have to pay for the whole thing? Shared responsibility. Make the ex take over half, that'll change her tune
/r/Divorce_Men18/04/26 02:24 AM
3

Why do you think that apartment living means lower quality of life? 6 years post divorce and I'm still in the same apartment. I don't have to mow the lawn, shovel snow, pay for appliance repair or replacements, etc. on top of that i have 3 pools i can use, one of which is literally a stone's throw away from my patio door. If you do some shopping around you can find some nice places. I would just stay away from the newer construction ones, thin walls, etc. find a brick one. Downsides: smaller, po…
/r/Divorce_Men29/03/26 10:26 PM
7

Document EVERYTHING! Trust me. In the wwords of my divorce attorney: give her enough rope to hang herself. Figuratively obviously. Let her do what she wants. Document everything. Frequent phone back ups. Shit, if the phones are in your name get full back ups of all the phones. When she asks to separate that means she's been done for a while. There's no saving it, no going back to it. It's been over in her mind. Sorry this is happening to you.
/r/Divorce_Men10/03/26 11:35 PM
12

Why do you need to get married again?
/r/Divorce_Men16/09/25 11:26 PM
5

Do you actually need proof? The behavior is proof enough. Honestly, just confront her and ask to see the phone. If she refuses then that's proof enough. My ex said "if you ask to see my phone then I'll file for divorce" i just said "ok, lets see it" Talk to an attorney, eat the cost for a one hour consultation and see what your legal obligations and limitations are.
/r/Divorce_Men11/07/24 01:17 AM
2

Seems like a cop out to avoid dealing with the root issues at hand. Your situation is the sum of your decisions up to this point.
/r/Divorce_Men02/07/24 08:42 PM
2

I deal with this too often, doing tax for divorced people. RSU are tricky, because it is a marital asset (I don't agree with that but that's the case in most places), but you don't have control of all/some yet. What you need to do is, have a talk with your attorney, figure out exactly how and when rsu are transferred, then consult a tax professional to figure out what the tax implications are. There are no cooky cutter answers for this, this is calculated on an individual basis. For legal reason…
/r/Divorce_Men12/06/24 03:03 PM
-5

Wtf is a "man card"? We aren't middle schoolers here. Nothing external should make you feel more or less of anything.
/r/Divorce_Men04/06/24 05:31 PM
14

You're not telling the whole story then. An LLC is a legal entity created through the state, but you then have to determine how it's taxed; disregarded entity (schedule c), s-corp, c-corp, or partnership if there are multiple members. Each have their own rules with pros and cons attached. If you have a schedule c and you continuously run a loss (more than 2 years in a 5 year period) then the IRS can determine that it's a hobby and disallow your expenses (and can go back 6 years). You can only cl…
/r/Divorce_Men04/06/24 12:50 PM
7

That's not how that works.
/r/Divorce_Men04/06/24 11:20 AM
11

Why would you want lube on the other hand.... I'll see myself out
/r/Divorce_Men20/05/24 01:58 PM
1

That just sounds like a nightmare.
/r/Divorce_Men26/02/24 05:12 PM
2

Att told me it was quite common for them to do, for divorces and when separating kids accounts from their parents accounts. I do agree with the work interference though, a judge may see that in a negative light.
/r/Divorce_Men26/02/24 10:45 AM
2

Why do you need a "companion" to be happy? Your happiness should be purely intrinsic before you even try to date. You should find a better therapist and get to the bottom of why your serotonin so heavily depends on being in a relationship. Enjoy the single life for a bit, pick up some new hobbies, there is so much more to life than having someone to watch tv with.
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/24 06:00 PM
4

They all still love me. I spend more time with her dad than she does now. All but two friends sided with me, but those two I never had a meaningful friendship with anyway.
/r/Divorce_Men31/01/24 12:42 PM
2

Exemptions is a pre 2016 thing. Some states still use exemptions, but the IRS got rid of that a while ago. You can claim children/dependents for credits, child care expenses, HoH filing status.
/r/Divorce_Men26/01/24 10:09 PM
3

So 1.5 years of child support? I'm gonna play petty devil's advocate here: for the next 2 years you downsize your life, max out savings and in 2 years you quit your job and file a motion to reduce alimony since you no longer have any income. That's just me being petty though. I did a lump sum settlement in lieu of alimony and got primary custody, so no child support. I also had other lurking variables that I was able to play in my favor.
/r/Divorce_Men18/01/24 01:08 AM
6

Yup that's pretty terrible. I've done alimony vs gross and after tax income analysis for a few clients. They used that to try and lower their alimony. I don't know if they were successful because that's where our engagement ended. Depending on your state and tax bracket a 50% alimony based on gross income can easily be 70% of net income.
/r/Divorce_Men17/01/24 10:23 PM
2

But you haven't really been single. If you're still sharing a roof then you aren't on your own. Live alone for a bit. Go out and re engage some old hobbies, discover new hobbies and passions.
/r/Divorce_Men11/01/24 11:11 PM
8

According to my attorney back in the day: no dating at all until you have the signature from the judge. From my shrink back then: go be alone and work on yourself for at least one month for every year you've been married. Find yourself before finding someone else.
/r/Divorce_Men11/01/24 06:51 PM
3

Whats more expensive, paying an accountant or paying the wrong alimony because your income was inflated by 20k per month? And then dealing with the follow up court cases, motions to change, appeals, etc.
/r/Divorce_Men04/01/24 11:25 PM
8

Advice? Have your attorney contact a forensic accountant, run the numbers, and testify in court. We have this type of client all the time.
/r/Divorce_Men04/01/24 08:08 PM
28

She can move out if she doesn't want to disrupt the kid's lives. You moving out is bad precedent for custody and later child support.
/r/Divorce_Men04/01/24 05:59 PM
2

Never move out of the home. That's your home and you're essentially just giving in and if kids are involved you're setting a bad precedent.
/r/Divorce_Men31/12/23 12:25 PM
1

Airsoft, sailing hobie cats, table top gaming. Those are the hobbies i picked up after divorce. All take about $500-1000 to get started but are a lot of fun imo. All three have very different kinds of people to interact with. But you are interacting with actual people, which really helped me , instead of just staying home alone. We are geographically not far from each other. There is an airsoft field in Webster MA, costs $35 to play and rent gear for the whole day Wednesday, and $45 on the weeke…
/r/Divorce_Men14/09/23 02:01 PM
1

So def lawyer up. Also, wifi cameras are cheap. Record every interaction with her. Leave nothing to chance. It's your house, I personally would stay. And I would follow my old lawyer's advice: record and document EVERYTHING, give her enough rope to hang herself in court (figuratively speaking).
/r/Divorce_Men12/03/23 03:52 AM
2

That's exactly what I mean
/r/Divorce_Men13/11/22 11:28 AM
2

I thought so too for a while, but sometimes someone special just walzes into your life.
/r/Divorce_Men13/11/22 12:47 AM
4

Main rule about cheaters: it's not the first time they've done it, it's just the first time they got caught. The cognitive dissonance necessary to have a full on relationship while married doesn't just appear over night. It is most often the result of serial cheating, which starts with one night stands, expands to fwb, and then culminates with a full affair (those are all usually different partners). Go see an attorney, get your ducks in a row, and divorce her.
/r/Divorce_Men01/11/22 11:23 AM
5

Go travel, way easier abroad than in the US, especially if you're not looking for something lasting
/r/Divorce_Men25/10/22 01:01 PM
18

You're not even single yet and already trying to figure out the dating situation? Take some time and enjoy some alone time. Start new hobbies, make new friends, travel, etc.
/r/Divorce_Men24/10/22 09:48 PM
2

Narcissists dont change, they only put up a front to get you to come back and then its back to the usual. Life now is less stressful since I've moved on. Whichever decision you make, I hope you find the peace you are looking for
/r/Divorce_Men21/10/22 10:20 AM
3

My ex tried that bc I see a therapist on a regular basis and used to be on medication. My lawyer gave them a little speech that if my mental state was such an issue that custody is awarded to my ex that we will file child neglect and endangerment against her, since she willingly left my kids alone with me. Essentially "if you bring this up in court the kids will go to the grandparents" . That made them change their tune really quick.
/r/Divorce_Men21/10/22 10:16 AM
2

I'm sorry, that really sucks. I would probably do the same then, to make it easier for the kid and avoid a fraudulent dv case.
/r/Divorce_Men20/10/22 01:01 PM
2

I did something similar, essentially I got her to sign an alimony waiver in lieu of cash upfront.
/r/Divorce_Men20/10/22 12:09 AM
2

Were you ordered to move out? Move back in, its your place, that will get her to agree to final outcome quicker.
/r/Divorce_Men20/10/22 12:07 AM
1

Hey, fellow vet, similar story medically discharged, found out she was cheating etc. I'm sorry, you got screwed on this and it sounds like your attorney is as useless as an LT with a compass. In my state there are tons of attorneys that provide free legal services for disabled vets. Contact your state bar and see if they can guide you in the right direction to find a competent attorney. You said you make too much for most assistance programs, but there are a lot of non profits that may be able t…
/r/Divorce_Men12/10/22 12:18 PM
1

That's essentially what I did. Got her to sign waivers for alimony and any rights to my retirement etc. Each state is different though, so def consult your attorney.
/r/Divorce_Men10/10/22 03:09 AM
16

Depends on your location. My state checks are fine. You could get custom ones with a picture of you and your new girlfriend as the background if you want to dial up the petty 🤪
/r/Divorce_Men23/09/22 03:40 AM
1

Which is exactly why thats in there. 6 months was the max the judge would allow. Most shrinks will agree with that being a good baseline too, which is how I sold that to her and the judge.
/r/Divorce_Men22/09/22 12:16 AM
2

Here is one I added that many may want to copy: introduction of romantic partners to children. A romantic partner of either parent may only be introduced to the children once the relationship has been 6 months and the partner was introduced in person to the other parent.
/r/Divorce_Men21/09/22 11:09 PM
2

My ex tried that too bc I have diagnosed ptsd. The counter argument was that my ex was perfectly fine with me being alone with my kids pre-divorce. If my ptds was such a big issue then she would have been negligent as a parent by leaving me alone with the kids and is thus also not suitable for full custody. This occurred in pretrial arguments before we saw a judge. Ex wife dropped that approach rather quickly when my lawyer played that uno reverse card. Consult your attorney
/r/Divorce_Men21/09/22 05:00 AM
1

This right here!
/r/Divorce_Men23/08/22 02:05 PM
2

Just ask for an itemized invoice from them. Then you'll know where the money went.
/r/Divorce_Men18/08/22 11:55 PM
3

Yup, I'll be using option 3... I got 3 kids to raise and support so I don't have time for relationship shenanigans anyways. Once you realize that you dont need to be in a romantic relationship to be happy, you'll see how freeing it is.
/r/Divorce_Men15/08/22 10:45 AM
3

That is exactly why I made this post. When i was in a rough patch I would read these after-divorce posts and get some hope.
/r/Divorce_Men13/08/22 06:38 PM
2

My ex has already had a few "serious" relationships... Which is why I have a special clause in the divorce agreement: a new partner can only be introduced to the children once it has been a serious relationship for at least 6 months and the new partner is introduced to the other parent prior to the introduction to the children.
/r/Divorce_Men13/08/22 04:07 PM
8

Majority of the money was set up in savings accounts I didn't monitor and savings accounts in the kids names. She also opened credit cards in my name and maxed them out. I could have demanded 50% of the money spent back in court and pressed charges for the credit card fraud, but instead I got her to sign off on an alimony waiver, waivers to rights to my military retirement, and not fight me for the kids. Yes I should have monitored my accounts, but who keeps tabs on savings accounts? I do now, b…
/r/Divorce_Men13/08/22 04:05 PM
3

Getting past the depression was hard. I always encourage people to see a therapist. They can help guide you to use that anger in positive ways.
/r/Divorce_Men13/08/22 02:35 PM
5

You can absolutely come out of this happy. It sucks right now, I know, but keep on trucking, you got this.
/r/Divorce_Men13/08/22 02:30 PM
12

Also, technically not "primary". This was a huge point of contention. The judge suggested to strike that word from the agreement and in lieu my lawyer put it that my address will be used for school, medical, etc and the 5 nights a week thing.
/r/Divorce_Men13/08/22 12:21 PM
8

"piggyback" you are either a former NCO or grew up surrounded by military 😂 It does get better over time, and it will continue to get better.
/r/Divorce_Men13/08/22 12:17 PM
15

I had to make a lot of concessions, money wise, but worth it in my opinion. I can always earn more money, but once the kids are grown up you can't get the time back.
/r/Divorce_Men13/08/22 12:15 PM
14

Hang in there, it does get better over time. You might not be able to tell the difference day to day, but when you look back 6-12 months you will see a huge difference.
/r/Divorce_Men13/08/22 12:12 PM
1

Refinanced my car, essentially took it to negative equity. Was the cheapest option in terms of interest rates.
/r/Divorce_Men13/08/22 11:01 AM
2

When i started my divorce, my lawyer suggested that I start posting activities with the kids on social media (I despise social media, I only had my Facebook from back in college when it was only open to students). This has two effects: 1. I have proof of spending quality time with them 2. It shows everyone else and thus makes friends and family statements less likely to be just in her favor. I didn't end up having to use them as proof, but in hindsight its nice to have to look back on.
/r/Divorce_Men13/08/22 10:57 AM
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