Eaglingonthemoor Archive

Upvotes	Title	Category	Author	Subreddit	Date (UTC)

Upvotes	Comment on	Subreddit	Date (UTC)
1	Is there actually a manosphere? That is actually an incredible article. Genuinely has given me a lot to think about. I have a real hatred for when previously useful language turns into what I can now identify as a conceptual superweapon. I've made a video or two about men's issues and would like to do another but the problem I'm coming up against is that all the language I would be using has been kind of "stolen" and now can't be used for its intended purpose and it's really, really hard to write around. "Men's rights" is a ri…	/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates	28/07/24 12:45 PM
1	The comics subreddit is having a bit of a reckoning I've been a bit cheeky honestly because I don't actually take on the label. I just engage with the ideas. There is no central feminism authority or even a central feminist ideology. It's a broad array of contradictory ideas and theories. I disagree with as many feminist writers as I agree with. Some feminist ideas actively harm women, and as noted there are feminist ideas that cause harm to men (though I would not say that's the whole of the field). I would be deeply uncomfortable with uncritica…	/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates	28/07/24 12:28 PM
0	Is there actually a manosphere? I guess the thing about this is that for me manosphere does exclusively refer to the people who operate under those beliefs. I am quite specific with when I use it. You are right to point out that there are groups that many people would categorise as manosphere that do not actually operate on these beliefs, and those people are wrong to do so in my opinion. Like, some people would throw this whole sub in the manosphere category and I would disagree with them. I personally find it a useful term f…	/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates	28/07/24 01:24 AM
1	The comics subreddit is having a bit of a reckoning I do find the language to be often needlessly accusatory and mean spirited, but I just take the interesting ideas and leave the junk. I try to have a bit of patience with feminist academics because I understand they feel very strongly and are often very frustrated, in the same way I have patience in this sub and in conversation with men when the tone turns accusatory and mean spirited and frustrated. Essentially I distinguish between good faith (but sometimes aggressively worded) ideas, and the …	/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates	28/07/24 01:11 AM
0	Is there actually a manosphere? This is honestly a really interesting question. I do actually think it is fair to group those types of guys together despite their seeming differences. The reason for this is that they share two core beliefs: Women are the cause of my problems The only way for me to get what I want is by changing/manipulating/controlling women This is not always apparent on the surface level within these groups. You might say that pickup artistry, for instance, does not actually believe the first one, only the s…	/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates	26/07/24 12:18 PM
0	The comics subreddit is having a bit of a reckoning Me! I find the concept of patriarchy to be long past its usefulness, am very engaged with feminist academia, and am very invested in men's issues.	/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates	26/07/24 10:25 AM
4	What are people's opinions on TERFs and trans rights in general? Do actually agree with you about quotas and I don't think they work to actually solve the problems they're trying to solve. Sorry, I can't seem to track down a link, but the one I am thinking of was related to the studies to do with how much men speak in university classroom environments. The studies themselves are pretty ungenerous towards men and assign a lot of motive to the described behaviours that I think is not actually supported by the data, but one part I did find interesting is that wh…	/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates	18/07/24 09:56 AM
4	What are people's opinions on TERFs and trans rights in general? I don't disagree with you on this but it's worth noting that men also have an in-group preference, and I have seen studies that demonstrate the same thing you're describing in reverse - that all things being equal, men perceive equality as unfairly disadvantaging men. Everyone has an in-group preference. It is a human trait, not a gendered one, and overcoming it will be a shared effort.	/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates	18/07/24 05:39 AM
3	Another double standard that I've noticed on Social media recently This is really good stuff. That quote is excellent. I had been looking for discussion of these sorts of ideas but didn't know where to find them, I really appreciate you sharing.	/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates	17/07/24 08:44 AM
6	Another double standard that I've noticed on Social media recently Yes!! Yes!! I found this element of the man v bear rhetoric profoundly insulting and disturbing!! I am a survivor myself and it is obviously a terrible thing but I would certainly not be better off dead.	/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates	17/07/24 08:40 AM
13	Another double standard that I've noticed on Social media recently So much of the dynamic around sexual violence stems from this. I notice many women, even very progressive women who would call themselves feminist, place a tremendous amount of importance on their "purity". It's all very subconscious but definitely present. I have a strong distaste for it. In my opinion, what is so terrible about sexual violence is the violation of bodily autonomy, but there is a quiet undercurrent of belief that what is so terrible is the violation of the sacredness of the vagi…	/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates	17/07/24 12:48 AM
2	[Canada] In one Canadian study, 64% of male survivors of IPV who called police reported being treated as the abuser (Dutton 2012). I will grant you that I don't know how often that kind of coercion/gaslighting actually happens, but even without the stats, it is necessary to consider it as a possibility. That's the thing about abuse. In nearly every area of our lives, we operate with at least some degree of trust. When your friend tells you about what happens at work, you just trust that they are telling you the truth. You don't even have to think about it. Abuse is where that trust relationship breaks down and fails to func…	/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates	21/06/24 10:51 PM
2	[Canada] In one Canadian study, 64% of male survivors of IPV who called police reported being treated as the abuser (Dutton 2012). It is absolutely true that my assessment here is super reductive, because as you bring up, a woman with a knife is a higher risk to a man regardless of how strong he is. That example from the article is still more difficult from a law enforcement perspective than it may appear though, because there are instances of victims of abuse kind of "snapping" and responding with extreme violence such as that, and that is something they take into consideration when it comes time to prosecute. This is comi…	/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates	19/06/24 02:42 AM
3	[Canada] In one Canadian study, 64% of male survivors of IPV who called police reported being treated as the abuser (Dutton 2012). This issue has always stressed me out and I don't have any good answers to it, because law enforcement can't litigate this stuff on the spot and need to prioritise the party that they understand to be at higher risk. It is an unfortunate biological reality that in an intimate partner violence situation, where it is unclear to the police who the aggressor is, they must usually assess women as being at higher risk of serious injury due to men generally being the physically stronger party. I unders…	/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates	18/06/24 01:14 AM
2	Male violence and female fear Very important to acknowledge this. I try to bear in mind that there are places in the world where the fight for women's most basic safety/human rights is not yet won, but I forget too often. I am grateful to be reminded.	/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates	16/06/24 01:26 PM
25	Male violence and female fear I'm just gonna throw my hot take out today and others can feel free to expound. Many women have legitimate trauma from legitimate traumatic encounters with men. I am speaking as someone who has trauma herself so I am not trying to be dismissive - the fact of the matter is that trauma disconnects you from reality. Your nervous system goes into threat-seeking overdrive and you are no longer able to appropriately judge danger. This is compounded by our media environment and exploited by advertisers…	/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates	16/06/24 02:50 AM
2	What the TERF mindset misses is that even in entirely cis female spaces predators would still occur. This is a wonderful perspective to see here. I think in some ways you are being very generous with feminism, as there have always been sects within it that are gender essentialist as hell, with plenty of man-haters on the books, though I tend to have more patience for that in the earlier waves because they do have a right to be angry. But I see what you mean about it having its roots in egalitarianism and especially humanism and that's really interesting to me. I studied art history and thinking…	/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates	11/06/24 10:39 PM
36	What the TERF mindset misses is that even in entirely cis female spaces predators would still occur. For once, I agree with ascribing malicious intent to a group of women. I feel like this sub should really be much, much angrier at terfs. Terfs are active misandrists, much more so than your typical liberal pop feminists. Terfs hate trans women in large part /because they hate men./ This is a dizzyingly massive blind spot for modern feminism imo. If we want to fight against terfs, a huge part of what we need to do is fight against the villainisation of men.	/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates	11/06/24 10:26 PM
4	I’m starting to worry that the discourse is pulling me to the Right. Needed to hear this today, because I've been engaging with the comments a lot to try and coax a healthier environment out of the usual youtube wild west, and it was absolutely getting too much for me. It's all very emotionally charged stuff. Time for a break I think.	/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates	10/06/24 10:37 PM
4	I’m starting to worry that the discourse is pulling me to the Right. This means so, so much to me to hear, thank you! You can really tell I took your criticism well on board hahaha. It was important feedback. Just between you and me, the woman vs tree video is performing really well considering I am a very small baby creator, and I have a lot of hope it will reach a broader audience.	/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates	10/06/24 04:25 AM
11	I’m starting to worry that the discourse is pulling me to the Right. Happy to share a link tho I will warn, as I've said elsewhere, from this sub's perspective my work to date is quite frustrating because it's very shallow compared to what we talk about here, but I'm warming up into a bigger project that's more comprehensive. I also don't exclusively make gender politics content, for my own sanity. Link: https://www.youtube.com/@surprisinglysincere	/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates	10/06/24 02:27 AM
9	I’m starting to worry that the discourse is pulling me to the Right. Not at length yet, but me! Have done some short vids. From the perspective of this sub they are probably frustratingly shallow, but the intent is to soften folks up to the idea of advocating for men. I am working on a big project where I will cover the subject in, hopefully, exhaustive detail.	/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates	10/06/24 01:48 AM
18	I’m starting to worry that the discourse is pulling me to the Right. I know for sure it does exist because I am trying to make some! But I am trying to make some because I see there is a HUGE gap in the market for it. And I can tell you also that I fully expect to be harassed for it if I ever get any traction. I try to make it as hard to cancel me as possible by expressing my ideas very carefully but I am still waiting for my death threats.	/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates	10/06/24 01:46 AM
88	I’m starting to worry that the discourse is pulling me to the Right. I don't make content that is exclusively about gender politics, but I've made vids about man v bear and woman v tree, am currently working on a bigger project about the fear of men, and I am trying to walk the line you describe. There's a huge gap in the market for content that is pro-men without being anti-woman. Something I've noticed on the videos I've made is that lot of where my traffic comes from is videos with titles like "why women are the inferior sex" or insane nasty shit like that. I …	/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates	10/06/24 01:39 AM
15	‘It’s hard to have compassion’: can interventions change violent men’s behaviour? I feel like this is a good point to make but definitely think it's pretty condescending in isolation. It needs to exist as one point in a broader conversation. Is now a good time to share the video I made that argues for being compassionate to men because it is simply the right thing to do? I feel like that would be a nice chaser to this article but I also don't want to be that person who's always derailing conversations by droppin like "oh ya check out my youtube channel" lol Edit: if I'm gonna…	/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates	09/06/24 01:38 AM
3	Opinion \| Boys and Men Get Everything, Except the Thing That’s Most Worth Having This is not exactly directly related but there's a Little Joel video that this reminds me of that really shaped the way I think about this stuff and I think you may enjoy it. It is just a short one at 4 mins. https://youtu.be/iij97S7fjTk?si=92-CeaXlAsm5USOL I have been watching the toxic masculinity conversation play out for awhile now and it feels like an absolute dead end. Your phrasing of "where the inequality is located" is very strong and useful here, because as my boy and best friend lil j…	/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates	08/06/24 10:51 AM
4	Opinion \| Boys and Men Get Everything, Except the Thing That’s Most Worth Having As someone who is in the same position as the author of this article, in the sense of that my target audience is a particular type of left-leaning woman who needs to be softened up to the idea that men's issues need advocating for, it's an unbelievably difficult line to walk. It is very, very hard not to sound like you are dismissing women's very real issues and denying the areas where men do have certain advantages. But then once you've adjusted for that, you end up sounding like you are just r…	/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates	08/06/24 02:02 AM
4	Opinion \| Boys and Men Get Everything, Except the Thing That’s Most Worth Having I really like hearing this perspective because it aligns with my personal belief that our current gender roles are shaped by the incentives of capitalism more than basically any other factor. I can't tell whether that's obvious and barely worth stating or if I'm practically a conspiracy theorist for thinking it though. There was a story awhile back about how drone operators who go to work, do some killing, and then go home to their family have a harder time psychologically than soldiers in the f…	/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates	08/06/24 12:21 AM
3	Opinion \| Boys and Men Get Everything, Except the Thing That’s Most Worth Having Oh yes I think I see what you mean, you're talking about men who actually are properly regulating their feelings and just process emotions internally/privately. But then get lumped into the "repressing their feelings" category because that can sort of look like not feeling your feelings to the untrained eye. Just wanna check if I'm understanding that properly, is that the sort of thing you're talking about?	/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates	07/06/24 02:10 AM
4	Opinion \| Boys and Men Get Everything, Except the Thing That’s Most Worth Having Ah, and then there's this! ADHD and other neurodivergencies so absolutely compound the issue. This is very much part of why I am not happy with describing any of this as men "lacking the skills". I also have emotional regulation issues including the kind you get from ADHD and in hindsight it's pretty obvious to me that, as a kid, I just needed guidance from adults on how to work through these big intense emotions and nobody gave it to me, so I suppressed them. Those skills were denied to me. And…	/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates	07/06/24 12:04 AM
5	Opinion \| Boys and Men Get Everything, Except the Thing That’s Most Worth Having You're not wrong. I do worry about men who identify too strongly with not showing emotions, because I always think hmm, there may come a day where you find you need to and it pays to have an identity that is flexible enough to accommodate that. But it really improved my relationships with men when I stopped expecting them to bond with me by having a big cry or whatever. Some men do like a big cry but a lot of men just don't and I did eventually realise that it's often not because they don't know…	/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates	06/06/24 03:22 PM
61	Opinion \| Boys and Men Get Everything, Except the Thing That’s Most Worth Having This is something I was getting stuck on today, because I think it is partially true that some men do not have adequate skills to discuss their feelings (though that is not nearly the whole story), but in those cases that is usually because the opportunities to build those skills were denied to them. It feels inappropriate to phrase it as, literally, a skill issue. It's not something that happened because men are incompetent. It's an access issue. I still haven't settled on a phrasing for that I…	/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates	05/06/24 02:58 PM
17	"I am trans and hate the online demonization of masculinity" \| The Michigan Daily OP-ED I do not doubt this at all. I tend to avoid bringing the sort of thing I'm saying in my previous comment up in most cases because I'm not really good enough at expressing my ideas to not make it sound like I'm oversimplifying and playing a standard rules game of oppression olympics. The difference in dynamics of sexism between black cis men/black trans men is a great example of how things aren't so simple. I never quite feel I've done a good enough job acknowledging the complexity of things so I…	/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates	03/06/24 06:39 AM
87	"I am trans and hate the online demonization of masculinity" \| The Michigan Daily OP-ED This is really good to see. Something I always bear in mind is that trans and gender non-conforming people are on the frontlines of this stuff and suffer disproportionately from sexism of all kinds. Eg. trans women inherit the effects of man bad rhetoric, on top of stock standard transphobia. Trans men inherit the infantilisation of women, on top of stock standard transphobia. Nonbinary folk inherit any and all. It harms everyone, but I'm personally very motivated by the knowledge that trans and…	/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates	03/06/24 04:15 AM
19	Is there some term for the unwillingness to assign any malignant agency to anything women individually or collectively do? Example: when a woman murders her husband its is always portrayed as 'he made her do it'. Agreed, it is benevolent sexism. This isn't the first time I've heard the term but I'm increasingly struck by how useful it is. It harms women by stripping them of agency and harms men by holding them disproportionately accountable. I would say men are the more injured party here though, as in my own experience the worst I have experienced from this is condescension and dehumanisation, where the worst men I personally know have experienced is, like, criminal charges and what I'd describe as soci…	/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates	03/06/24 02:44 AM
3	30 feminist organizations protested the creation of a foundation to help male victims of domestic violence in Valencia, Spain I am glad to see I'm not the only person who went through the emotional rollercoaster of assuming this was obvious ragebait and then discovering that it seems to be about as bad as it looks. I had all my money down for ragebait and now I have no money and I'm also depressed	/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates	31/05/24 06:31 AM
3	"Men are the problem" I'm glad the honesty is appreciated. I'm amazed by how positive the reception has been here because I imagine this is probably a sore spot for folks here and I wouldn't blame anyone for being sceptical of me. I may tackle it publically some day. It would be tricky to do though because there would be a real danger of just upsetting everyone, triggering people with similar experiences etc and just getting everyone's hackles up. But my experiences really challenge the public conception of abuse and…	/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates	31/05/24 06:22 AM
2	30 feminist organizations protested the creation of a foundation to help male victims of domestic violence in Valencia, Spain Thank you so very much for the provided context. Between this and the accurate translation someone else provided I feel pretty confident about not hedging my bets on this one anymore. I have a particular interest in the way certain feminist rhetoric can be weaponised against male victims of abuse and it looks like the thing I've been worried about is literally happening systemically here.	/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates	31/05/24 12:43 AM
1	30 feminist organizations protested the creation of a foundation to help male victims of domestic violence in Valencia, Spain Thank you so, so much for this. It is so greatly appreciated.	/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates	30/05/24 11:51 AM
4	30 feminist organizations protested the creation of a foundation to help male victims of domestic violence in Valencia, Spain But in my view we need far more women actually just openly stating how fucked up things like this are and that they don't support it, rather than taking a more sensitive approach of trying to see the good in it and looking for diplomacy/alignment instead. That's a really fair call-out because I do worry a lot about falling into the, like, appeasement trap. I still think with this particular article it's really difficult to know for sure what's actually going on without more context, but I can se…	/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates	30/05/24 11:22 AM
0	30 feminist organizations protested the creation of a foundation to help male victims of domestic violence in Valencia, Spain I'm sorry for how I'm coming across. I do want to acknowledge the severity of the problem, I don't mean to sound dismissive. I see the many barriers that are in the way of reaching people and I am also mindful that this is much more emotionally taxing for you than it is for me. I hope you know I am a woman by now cos otherwise this is a terrible time to drop that information, right as I am sounding condescending and dismissive. But I just mention it because I agree that it's not fair to put the …	/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates	30/05/24 10:11 AM
7	30 feminist organizations protested the creation of a foundation to help male victims of domestic violence in Valencia, Spain I don't feel you came on strongly or anything and I really appreciate the points that you're raising! You come across very thoughtful. I think something I need to make sure I'm clearer on is that when I think about DV and SA being gendered, I actually do not believe that men are statistically more violent or abusive or whatever. Something that should be extremely obvious to any thoughtful feminist but isn't for some reason is that, if we follow the logic of toxic masculinity (though I dislike th…	/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates	30/05/24 09:50 AM
6	30 feminist organizations protested the creation of a foundation to help male victims of domestic violence in Valencia, Spain Battered women versus female victims of domestic violence feels like a distinction without a difference unless you want to say something ideological about domestic violence. I think you are right about this. In full fairness I think there are distinctions worth making between male and female survivors, for ie. in relation to how the respective gender is culturally conceptualised. A female survivor in a culture that sees women as perpetual victims, for ie, will have a different experience to a ma…	/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates	30/05/24 09:04 AM
0	30 feminist organizations protested the creation of a foundation to help male victims of domestic violence in Valencia, Spain You sound really worn down by things and that's honestly why I want to challenge things like this. I don't want to make excuses but I also think that a headline like this kind of flattens reality into an us vs them that is depressing and not really true to life. I think we can get people on the same team, and I think there are many people who will support men on these issues if we can reach them. I hate to see folks getting ground down from seeing stuff like this and feeling like the world is ag…	/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates	30/05/24 08:45 AM
-2	30 feminist organizations protested the creation of a foundation to help male victims of domestic violence in Valencia, Spain This is what raised red flags for me as well, but I think it might be referring to it being registered as "Valencian Community Foundation for the Defense of Battered Men". This is where it being in google translated Spanish makes it very difficult to parse how pissed we should be and why I dislike seeing a headline like this being dropped without context. To my eye it looks like she is saying that the phrase "battered women" is language that is used to talk about gendered violence against women …	/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates	30/05/24 07:57 AM
2	30 feminist organizations protested the creation of a foundation to help male victims of domestic violence in Valencia, Spain Yes, there it is. I don't want to start shit with you cos I sometimes fall into this way of thinking too and I understand where it comes from. But I'd gently encourage you to not fall into the same kind of intellectual laziness that I am here, in the comment you are replying to, criticising feminists for. It is much easier to conceptualise a grand villain than to contend with the complicated web of systemic and social forces causing the issues men are facing, some of which are, yes, reinforced b…	/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates	30/05/24 07:28 AM
14	30 feminist organizations protested the creation of a foundation to help male victims of domestic violence in Valencia, Spain I am a bit hesitant to engage with this because in order to find out more, I ended up clicking through to a twitter thread with no source I could see, had to seek out the story myself, had to google translate it from Spanish, and it seems like the feminists in question are worried about some kind of government corruption to do with the legal rights granted to foundations. Some claims about domestic violence being a gendered issue, which I technically agree with in that gender is a factor, though…	/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates	30/05/24 04:18 AM
3	"Men are the problem" Yes, can confirm I was undiagnosed BPD and I do see myself in Amber. I heard some of those recordings too and it was very intense to hear back some of the worst things I've ever said and done. There is some debate about whether BPD is the best framing or if cPTSD is more accurate, and I did end up settling on cPTSD, but the BPD framing was important to me to begin addressing what I think was the most urgent issue: the way I was treating my partner. I'm sorry you were on the other end of it. I se…	/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates	29/05/24 05:47 AM
5	"Men are the problem" This is a really nuanced view of abusive behaviour that I don't see very often and I really appreciate it. I'd be very interested to read your write-up when it's written. Sorry about my unclear and potentially dismissive phrasing. It was definitely not my best work. I did have to step away from the discourse around the case for my own sanity but it is an important subject to me for several reasons: firstly is that I also dislike the way we throw people into the "abuser" category and kind of leav…	/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates	29/05/24 02:17 AM
5	"Men are the problem" Oh I didn't see this follow up. Yes, the aggressive personal attacks against her coming from some places put a foul taste in my mouth, but at the same time it's an important case to illustrate the way some people have a tendency to default to the man as abuser and woman as victim narrative, even when there's evidence to the contrary. Essentially Amber Heard became a symbol of the way we dismiss abuse against men, and the way the "men are inherently dangerous" messaging of something like man v be…	/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates	29/05/24 01:35 AM
9	"Men are the problem" I 100% agree with you to be clear. I drafted a few versions of this where I went more into why I had a hard time with the irredeemable monster side of things even though I understand it, but it kept requiring more self-disclosure than I wanted to get into and I felt I was getting kind of off topic. I agree that what Amber Heard has done is beyond the pale and the line between myself and her is that she is, as you say, unrepentent. There's no forgiveness without remorse. My difficulty hearing the…	/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates	29/05/24 12:39 AM
10	"Men are the problem" Oof, I forgot about how aggressively I had to avoid the Depp v Heard stuff. Not to out myself as a recovering maniac, but I have some experience with a relationship dynamic like theirs, which meant I could neither tolerate the people who thought Amber Heard did nothing wrong nor the people who thought she was an evil irredeemable monster, and vice versa for Johnny Depp. A problem I had in my relationship was that nobody would hold me to account for my behaviour, while holding my then boyfriend t…	/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates	28/05/24 11:03 PM
2	"Men's forcefully drafting was done by men so we (women) aren't at fault" Yeah my major complaint about feminism is that a lot of the engagement you see with it online is shallow and primarily interested in scoring cheap dunks on dudes.	/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates	28/05/24 10:27 PM
14	"Men are the problem" This is really interesting to think about! The word misandry is really loaded but I'm increasingly finding it the only useful word to describe what I'm talking about, and I find it much easier to separate it out from the anti-SJW type connotations when I am able to say, as an easy off the top of my head example, "Andrew Tate is a misandrist", which I think he is. He hates men who are not his vision of ideal manhood, in exactly the same way he hates women who are not his vision of ideal womanhood…	/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates	28/05/24 07:30 AM
20	"Men are the problem" The nature of internet virality means that while I don't agree with you entirely, I also don't disagree. The question is framed differently depending on who is engaging with it. Some people may have been engaging from a place of trying to make women look stupid, but for good-faith women I think the core of the question is simply expressing that many women feel profoundly afraid of men. That is true, and something worth talking about and addressing. Unfortunately, this fear did what fear does bes…	/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates	28/05/24 07:22 AM
19	"Men are the problem" "Men are utility objects and women are sex objects" may be a simplification, but it's a very powerful way of conceptualising things and I'm so grateful you've said it. I've been trying to put my finger on that exact idea for awhile now. I definitely saw a fair bit of misogyny out of the man vs bear debacle. Something else I'm thinking through lately is trying to place in my mind the type of people who are reachable from both sides of the issue, and the people who are not. So for ie there are peo…	/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates	28/05/24 07:13 AM
23	"Men are the problem" Hello! I wondered if I'd run into you here! Yes there are good folks here. This is where I keep encountering people who seem like they hate women but turn out to just be frustrated that women are not listening to them, so I'm making my presence known 'round these here parts.	/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates	28/05/24 06:02 AM
125	"Men are the problem" My perception here might just be due the fact that this is when I started actively engaging with the subject, but I feel like man vs bear was a bit of a splitting point for the rise of both opinions. I was surprised to see that I was not the only woman who was loudly objecting to the rhetoric, which emboldened me to be a bit louder and I imagine it may have emboldened others. At the same time, because I made the mistake of searching for the original video, my facebook algorithm now likes to feed…	/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates	28/05/24 02:55 AM
6	"Men's forcefully drafting was done by men so we (women) aren't at fault" This one is an example of where a thoughtful feminist should actually be on your side. Women are not "at fault" for war time drafts but the compulsory drafting of exclusively men conceptualises men as automatically protectors and aggressors and women as automatically weak and in need of protection. It is an extremely feminist issue and your best argument would be to point out that any good feminist would care about this immensely and not just write it off as "man problems."	/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates	28/05/24 12:56 AM
2	How can we actually properly talk about men's issues? One thing I haven't seen brought up yet is that the language we have available to talk about men's issues has been overwhelmingly co-opted by the right to try to reverse the progress of rights won for women. This means that it's very difficult to tell at a glance if a man is sincerely advocating for themselves, or advocating against women. A lot of women have something of an itchy trigger finger in this regard and I can understand why. I made a quick youtube video about man vs bear while that wa…	/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates	25/05/24 04:02 PM
2	AS LWMA's, how do we respond to posts like this one? This is so thoughtfully written and shows a lot of self-awareness, and also really helps me understand the way people are reacting here and stay empathetic and mindful. I really, really appreciate this. I'm actually working on a follow-up to that video and with how hot it was getting for a minute I was sort of thinking mmm, am I taking the wrong approach? Am I doing the right thing? I actually realised awhile after my last reply that, as you say, a lot of the anger here is anger at the way this …	/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates	24/05/24 07:59 AM
1	AS LWMA's, how do we respond to posts like this one? I'm actually glad you brought this up because I was thinking over my response and wished I had clarified something like this. I am personally really interested in addressing that particular sort of woman who is mostly interested in hating men. There are obviously men who are primarily interested in hating women too but I, as you may or may not be aware, am a woman, so I have a bit of an in with women to start trying to change their minds and get them thinking differently. I like feminist literat…	/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates	24/05/24 04:11 AM
7	The neurodiversity movement appear to have a bias against autistic men and autistic people who aren't extremely high functioning. This is really interesting to me because you are absolutely right, the male pursuer/female pursued dynamic is also a huge contributing factor to the perception of autistic men. That's a huge social challenge that women can largely opt out of if they want to. I really appreciate this perspective, it's a lot to think about.	/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates	24/05/24 02:57 AM
0	AS LWMA's, how do we respond to posts like this one? It just doesn't have to be either/or is what I'm saying. Rather than needing to lower interest in women's issues and replace it with interest in men's issues, we can approach things from a holistic point of view. Everything that harms one gender also harms the other, because it all harms society. We ought to all be on the same team. Let's take the high number of men in emotionally or physically taxing roles, like politics or the military. Some people would consider that a men's issue - men are b…	/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates	24/05/24 02:52 AM
-3	AS LWMA's, how do we respond to posts like this one? The effects of decades of discouragement do not go away overnight, and they certainly had not gone away in the 2010s. If policies on education changed tomorrow to better support men, how soon after that change can I ask you to stop caring about it? Is the problem solved? Are there no long term societal effects to be concerned about? Could we retire this subreddit? Would men have no more problems? It might not sound like it, but I'm on your side. It's just possible to care about more than one thi…	/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates	24/05/24 12:26 AM
1	AS LWMA's, how do we respond to posts like this one? I would say probably not responding to it at all would be the way to not raise the complaint from me, because it's literally one dude describing, as you say, social barriers that may well still exist in place and time of writing, and not systemic ones. We are all so quick to say "the problem is solved." In some places, yes! Not for everyone, not everywhere. If the USA changed their policies on education to better support men, and then someone from Australia said that men were still disadvantaged…	/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates	24/05/24 12:15 AM
-7	AS LWMA's, how do we respond to posts like this one? It makes me sad too, cos we constantly seem to fall into men vs women, when it could be men AND women vs the problem/s. Call me soft but I just want the best for everyone.	/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates	23/05/24 07:49 AM
-11	AS LWMA's, how do we respond to posts like this one? I'm really glad you said this, because I think this doesn't need arguing with. It's true that these are struggles that are specific to women. All the struggles the folks here are pointing out are also true. Both can be worth our time. I certainly care about both. We can yes and on this one.	/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates	23/05/24 06:02 AM
19	The neurodiversity movement appear to have a bias against autistic men and autistic people who aren't extremely high functioning. I think a lot of the problem is that level 1 autism and level 2 and 3 autism are essentially entirely different things. They're a different set of problems that need to be addressed in completely different ways. I agree whole heartedly with getting rid of the aspergers diagnosis because of the way it separated people into the "good autistics" and the "bad autistics" but we do need to make the distinction - we just need to do that without moral judgement. The whole diagnosis is made kind of vague…	/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates	22/05/24 11:36 PM
1	Man Bear Megathread Thank you for watching and I'm glad it was appreciated! There is a lot more to be said on the subject for sure and I am hoping to do a more in-depth follow up, but I wanted to push this one out to get even one disagreeing female voice on the books. There are a lot of gleefully bad takes out there.	/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates	16/05/24 12:19 AM
2	Man Bear Megathread Unfortunately for many of us, our willingness to listen / support women's issues is being eroded by the constant barrage of anti-male rhetoric on a daily basis.. The men I know in person that I've talked to about this have expressed things similar to this. They are actively having to fight their emotional responses to stay open and compassionate to women's issues. They don't feel there is anywhere that their feelings and issues and trauma are welcome at the table. And what's frustrating is that …	/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates	08/05/24 10:26 AM
11	I feel like when women fear men it’s viewed as normal and a okay response but not when a man does it This is what I'm starting to think about. Societally we are apparently willing to give up a lot of our freedoms, morals, our sense of justice etc for "security" - security in air quotes because we don't end up any more secure. We just end up more afraid. In my view the fear of men is one expression of this.	/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates	08/05/24 09:56 AM
1	Man Bear Megathread I'll let you know if I do! I appreciate that offer a lot. I need to step away from this and write something less grim for now but when I sit back down to the topic, you might find me in your inbox with a question or two about your experiences. I'm mindful that, while I can guess at what the low hum of mistrust and antipathy towards men in certain spaces must feel like to live with, I definitely don't know as much as men do.	/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates	08/05/24 09:15 AM
2	Man Bear Megathread Oh and also! I keep forgetting to say but your feedback has been extremely helpful to me in thinking through how to address women on the subject in a way that does not do a disservice to men in the meantime and I really appreciate it. Whether for a follow up video or for just compassionately pushing back against harmful rhetoric when I encounter it in the wild.	/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates	08/05/24 02:09 AM
5	Man Bear Megathread We probably would disagree on a few things tho I actually largely agree with both those corrections/adjustments. For ie I was thinking yesterday about how I'd approach a longer video and thought about doing a "what men want women to know" vs "what women want men to know" and found that what I'd be asking from women was bare minimum stuff, remember that men are human etc, where what I'd be asking of men would be fairly complex emotional labour, and I had to scrap the approach because that does ho…	/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates	07/05/24 09:45 PM
3	Man Bear Megathread I think you've hit on a really big complex issue in that no matter who is doing it, being the initiator or the pursuer is "dangerous" in a sense - though I would not say dangerous, I would say that it has a power dynamic to it. The power dynamic is not inherently dangerous but it does have the potential for danger. But pursuing/being pursued can also be really fun! The power dynamic can be really fun! Flirting can be fun! It's not necessarily a bad thing but with the state of gender relations, n…	/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates	07/05/24 02:13 AM
2	Man Bear Megathread I'll reiterate my previous reply here and say thank you for sharing your experiences, and that I see what this discourse is doing to the men in my life, many of whom have experienced abuse themselves. I very much understand the frustration of seeing people refuse to regulate their emotions after having harmful experiences. As I list off in the video, I've had plenty of negative experiences with men, but I've made a very particular point not to let myself stop treating men compassionately because…	/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates	06/05/24 11:27 PM
3	Man Bear Megathread I am sorry to hear it was frustrating in all the things I left on the table. I know the topic could probably hold up to a multi hour video and still be incomplete. I wanted to push this one out in the hopes of encouraging at least that we consider the implications of our beliefs but I'm considering putting out something like a retrospective in a few months when everyone has calmed down. It was also tricky because, as some of the comments I've got indicated, the women who are arguing that the bea…	/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates	06/05/24 11:22 PM
2	Man Bear Megathread Thanks so much for the feedback! I'm glad to see it sounds like I got my point across. I've got no problem with talking about the fear of men and I think it's important to acknowledge, but the bear comparison is just doing damage all round. The percentage of men I've met in my life who have good hearts is something like 99.99%.	/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates	06/05/24 02:40 PM
5	Man Bear Megathread https://youtu.be/Cs5MuZRyFRI This is me, a woman, discussing this as fairly and compassionately as I can while still trying to come down against the idea that men are inherently dangerous. I'd be really interested to see what folks here think about my line of argument, if you have 8 minutes or so. I am honestly hoping that it makes men feel a bit more supported, but the stats so far tell me that not many dudes are actually sticking around to hear me argue in their defense. I want to know how it …	/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates	06/05/24 05:52 AM