~ archived since 2018 ~
~ archived since 2018 ~
| Upvotes | Title | Category | Author | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 6 | Just Need to Vent | Effective_Soil7645 | /r/Divorce_Men | 14/06/23 10:23 PM |
| Upvotes | Comment on | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
|---|---|---|---|
| 7 | Confused - Divorcing but love each otherIf the divorce is having a positive effect on your relationship to each other because of personal changes it is forcing you to make, you should divorce. If she is just saying things to keep you as backup in case newly single life isn't all she thinks it will be, you should divorce. Given what you currently want, the best case scenario is that you can't fix the underlying problems with your relationship while you are in it. If you need to make personal changes, you need to make them in a friendly… | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/11/23 09:17 PM |
| 1 | I'm not healedI feel you. Started talking to a woman recently, and it's sending my anxiety into overdrive. She's pretty, been cool so far, and seems interested. But I feel like it is just going to end with one of us breaking it off, so why bother? It just feels like it would be easier to be alone. No one to worry about hurting. No one to worry about being hurt by. I know that's not what I ultimately want though, so I'm just moving forward at my own pace. Trying to think of things in a way that lets me look fo… | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/09/23 11:37 PM |
| 1 | Let's be honest here. No macho answers, and no judgement. In reality, how many guys here would be happy to get validation from your ex that the divorce was not your fault?Honestly, I would rather she didn't. It changes nothing, and just brings up old pain. The reality is that we got married because both of us had emotional problems, and if either one of us ever chose to really get better the marriage would have ended. I chose to get better. She chose not to. | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/07/23 03:58 PM |
| 2 | How do you guys overcome sheer loneliness?The only potential down side to challenging yourself is that it is predicated on the ability to accept results and analyze them. Otherwise you risk getting stuck in a loop or making things worse. For me the challenge is less about pushing harder and more about moving ahead at a steady pace, and also building my social skills. | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/05/23 03:27 PM |
| 2 | How do you guys overcome sheer loneliness?Challenging yourself is important. A lot of healing is about experiencing new things that allow you to see yourself in a different light. | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/05/23 08:19 PM |
| 1 | How do you guys overcome sheer loneliness?I took a break from work to learn coding right before my ex asked for a divorce. I had saved up some money to finance the career change, but went back to work sooner than I originally intended so I could have some human contact. I'm living with family, but it's not the same. I felt like I had healed up as much I was going to heal in semi-isolation, and I was probably going a little bit crazy from it. It definitely stabilized me. Actually turned down a much higher paying job offer because in part… | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/05/23 12:31 AM |
| 2 | This guy is a geniusI'm glad things are going well for you and hope you succeed in preserving your marriage. As for me, I'm glad thing didn't work out. Step 3 was the lynchpin. It took me a year to realize it, but even though I tried to reconcile, I was done. We literally spent all our time partying, because I was looking for some reason to stay with her. My ex has a personality disorder, and I knew she was never going to do anything to improve her situation. I didn't want to fight for the 'privilege' of raising my… | /r/Divorce_Men | 07/05/23 06:17 PM |
| 2 | What is divorce? A man's perspective.Same. I'm so much less on edge around the kids post divorce. It's way easier and more fun to be around them when I don't have to worry about managing my ex's mental illness. I'm actually starting to feel like I'm doing ok as a dad. | /r/Divorce_Men | 26/02/23 01:22 AM |
| 3 | How do you tell your child?No insulting the other parent. No stating why we were getting divorced. Insisting it wasn't his fault. Stepson(15) When my ex started making the situation about herself I told her I would like to talk to him alone. He deserved a chance to have someone talk with him about him and his feelings. We went to a local diner. The waitress' clumsiness and some fries helped to cheer him up. She got a huge tip. I figured actions speak louder than words and doing something familiar was better than verbal as… | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/02/23 01:05 AM |
| 3 | Better man coaching/learningIf it helps, acceptance doesn't have to mean liking everything about yourself. It can just be neutral accounting. I had much better luck with it once I let go of the idea that self acceptance meant being thrilled to be me 24/7. But from what you're indicating you're still in a situation where someone is trying to make you ashamed of yourself. Things will get easier in many respects once you're not under that influence. | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/10/22 07:12 PM |
| 2 | Something differentShe actually listened to what I said and started calling my son just to say "hello." Initially she wasn't calling because she couldn't have an engaging conversation with a 6 year old. This might come across as backhanded, but I'm sincere. Not listening was a big problem in the marriage, so listening now is a step in the right direction. | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/08/22 05:07 PM |
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