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Efficient-Mango7708 Archive

View 4 posts and 43 comments by Efficient-Mango7708 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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2

I stabbed some artwork she left the other day and then threw it out. It felt great.
/r/Divorce_Men07/03/25 01:56 AM
11

There are two parts to owning a house: 1 the title aka the asset 2 the mortage aka the liability You should never be in a situation where you are on one and not the other. You should NOT file a quit claim deed unless your name is removed from the mortgage. If the judge is ordering this nonsense you need a better lawyer to fight your case.
/r/Divorce_Men06/03/25 04:45 PM
8

God bless the joy of a simple task accomplished without questioning, second guessing or nagging.
/r/Divorce_Men04/03/25 01:32 AM
5

That’s a bad faith offer. She makes almost 3 times as much as you. You should not be splitting expenses 50/50 without her paying you child support and alimony. Full stop.
/r/Divorce_Men23/02/25 02:56 PM
1

Like shopping at a store around Valentine’s Day and getting an overwhelming feeling of joy knowing you don’t have to buy a crappy present for someone who won’t appreciate it anyway.
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/25 07:52 PM
13

I am at 1 year. I have become a hermit and barely leave my house. I have been taking care of long neglected repairs on my house because I did not want to invest in it when she was here. I’d much rather do that work than deal with some woman’s new expectations. Dating is work. Communicating with women is a lot of work. I actively choose to do other work.
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/25 11:52 AM
5

I had two hurricanes, a rat infestation in the attic, two roof leaks, ac handler leaked and dishwasher leaked, so yeah this whole year has been editing. Now I’m getting rid of the rest of the furniture that was her choice or just needs replacing.
/r/Divorce_Men01/02/25 11:05 PM
2

I have never had issues like this but I take a sari, not a ssri these can have an impact on libido and ED. I definitely noticed a change. That’s the first thing to rule out. I see people mention alcohol, but if I’m reading your post correctly it says daily thc user. This is another thing to try to cut back on. If the issue persists you can also try watermelon as it has amino acids that help with blood flow, additionally fish oil can thin your blood. Or you can pop a pill. Finally there is a pote…
/r/Divorce_Men30/01/25 06:00 PM
5

I saw a reel recently that said. Be the thermostat and not the thermometer. My ex was always saying crap like this. “The kids get scared when you yell at them.” I never mentioned how they felt neglected by her. Practice a more stoic response emotionally and stay strong she will manipulate the situation. You are listening to her story not the truth necessarily. He’ll have different experiences. Your goal is for him to love and enjoy both of you even if you don’t love or enjoy her anymore. That ta…
/r/Divorce_Men19/01/25 06:58 PM
2

That sounds pretty familiar I spent my first Christmas alone since 1999. My ex also did not take anything from our life. She left pictures, kids mementos etc. we had our issues, but also fun times, It’s just baffling and sad how she walked away. When you get back into a a daily routine I’m sure it will get less emotional. I know exactly why she did not love me anymore. To not have any ideas sounds like a problem you have and should figure out.
/r/Divorce_Men06/01/25 02:55 AM
3

Feel like I’m still working on this almost a year later. Yes it can feel overwhelming so figure out a realistic game plan. A lot depends on if you are staying in the space or not. Maybe think about hiring someone to help as they won’t be as sentimental about your stuff.
/r/Divorce_Men29/12/24 06:58 PM
1

Sounds like you’re exactly where you are supposed to be. It’s like going back to the gym after some time. If you don’t feel a bit sore and your movements are awkward I’d be surprised. Take is slow, have patience, and you’ll build yourself back into dating shape.
/r/Divorce_Men26/12/24 05:28 PM
1

Later in life I learned this was trauma bonding. I proposed about 9 months after 9/11. We were a few miles away from the pentagon.
/r/Divorce_Men25/12/24 09:42 PM
2

I was just dealing with this yesterday. Sometimes I look back with fondness, other times I I wonder what happened. Her life post divorce is going smoothly compared to mine. Anyway they are just thoughts and emotions. I have learned to examine and process them. I thought about turning the feature off or deleting, moving pictures but it’s also a reminder that I experience nostalgia I cherish old moments. She left the house, left pictures, left presents from friends. It’s a reminder that I was tryi…
/r/Divorce_Men19/11/24 01:40 PM
7

You might be over reacting, but there is the concept of the death by 1000 cuts for both you and her. I don’t have a disability per se, but a chronic auto-immune disease and I lost my left eye. Being the full time care taker, in sickness and in health, is a tough job. Do you have open and honest conversations about this? Have you figured out more specifics, have you tried applying more money to fix the problem, say hiring additional help? Do you go on date nights? Also this period when the kids a…
/r/Divorce_Men28/10/24 05:51 PM
1

I was surprised by this too. I had the same experience with my lawyer suggesting yet another lawyer, while hers was willing to do it at no additional cost.
/r/Divorce_Men23/10/24 12:23 PM
1

Sounds like it could be postpartum depression. Does she have a good support network? Has she seen a therapist for this? Is she taking any medication? Have you gone to counseling? If the answer is yes and it’s been over 6 months or a year then prep like this guy GreyTooFast says. Otherwise put in the effort to help your kids mother even if she may not be your wife in the near future.
/r/Divorce_Men23/10/24 12:12 PM
4

Yes. It’s called a qdro, Qualified Domestic Relations Order, any lawyer should know about this. The order of operations can be confusing, but in my case, her lawyer drew up the qdro that was executed along with another payment for equity on the house. If you both have assets in the same type of retirement account at the same institution, we had vanguard, then you can execute everything online.
/r/Divorce_Men23/10/24 12:04 PM
1

People going g through divorce are emotionally attached to their a d their partners actions in the past. The law generally is not. It’s pretty simple, in most cases it does not matter about the details of who paid how much for what when you were married. The house is joint property so it’s split 50/50.
/r/Divorce_Men14/07/24 10:39 AM
3

10 years before divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/24 10:37 AM
1

A mortgage assumption is a refi where you are removing a person, usually for divorce or a death of a co-borrower. There is a transaction fee, in my case about $4000, but I keep the rate.
/r/Divorce_Men11/07/24 09:38 PM
3

We got an independent appraisal and then I negotiated for less based on sales transaction fees. I have been working through the mortgage assumption process since the end of February. I had to pay her out within 90 days. So now I am in limbo waiting for the mortgage company to unfudge itself. If it comes through I’ll end up with a 2.65 mortgage and pay about $3800 for that.
/r/Divorce_Men11/07/24 12:01 AM
3

I’m 5’4 so imagine what it’s like for me.
/r/Divorce_Men11/05/24 05:19 PM
2

When people say sorry, just say thank you. You don’t have to explain anything. If they have more questions or actually care they will ask.
/r/Divorce_Men07/05/24 07:55 PM
2

That was me six months ago. Divorce was finalized last week. Someone posted a link here about how women think about relationships like men think about jobs, a means to an end. You are no longer providing what she wants emotionally, physically, financially or a combination of all three. Move on. For me, I had to actually focus more on feeling anger as a way to motivate myself into action. Don’t stay in a victim mentality or deal with thoughts telling yourself if you’re not I had done x or why for…
/r/Divorce_Men04/03/24 12:34 PM
1

I don’t think that is to my advantage. I actually want my ex to live a happy life and be the best she can be for our kids. Petty revenge will not help with that goal.
/r/Divorce_Men06/02/24 08:39 PM
5

I feel you. I carry a similar weight and a fear of the story she will tell the kids, the other parents etc. I have mostly come to terms with this though by focusing on the idea of trying to understand instead of being understood. For me these character trait of hers, little reflection, a lack of taking responsibility, seeking others understanding and approval through appeals of sympathy are all reasons why I’m better off grey rocking and moving on.
/r/Divorce_Men06/02/24 12:04 PM
3

Oh I have gone down that rabbit hole. There is a country song, can’t have mine. Find you a girl that leaves you speechless Gets wild on the town but still loves Jesus One that's worth the wait even when she ain't on time Find you a girl that loves her daddy And talkin' 'bout babies makes her happy Yeah, take it from me, that's the kind you need to find You just can't have mine Wish I had heard stuff like this back then or from my family. I ended up coaxing my ex into have my a relationship with …
/r/Divorce_Men04/02/24 05:26 PM
1

There’s always going to be someone taller, faster, more fit or whatever. The journey is about learning to love yourself only then will other things fall in place. If you can find comfort alone with your thoughts and emotions you can accomplish whatever you want. Think about building friendships hobbies, your health and mental capabilities. Don’t be afraid to seek help in therapy or spirituality.
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/24 02:51 AM
1

ABBY by Travis Denning - “Her name is Abby, that’s anybody but you.” I have a get over it playlist and a cry it out playlist. Definitely going to add from this thread
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/24 12:13 AM
4

No regrets yet. Ex moved out last Sunday and waiting on hearing date. First week adjusting, I have been sober and kind of in AA for 8 years, went to trauma therapist for a year about 4 years ago and practice meditation. These all help with processing thoughts and emotions. Regrets have sometimes hit, but more about how I could have setup better boundaries, asserted my position, taken more ownership of problems and solutions in the marriage.
/r/Divorce_Men31/01/24 06:39 PM
–

I had that deafening silence yesterday morning, actually walking around my neighborhood. We had not invested much in decorating this house which we moved into 7 years ago. I have some home improvements to do regardless of whether I stay.
/r/Divorce_Men30/01/24 11:21 AM
2

Thanks for the recommendation. I’ll add it to my “getting over it” Spotify playlist.
/r/Divorce_Men30/01/24 01:56 AM
1

Good luck brother. DM me if you need.
/r/Divorce_Men30/01/24 01:55 AM
1

I was taking 50mg. When I started working again 100mg. I am 5’4”, 160lbs. It takes some time to work, like a month or so. I’d talk to the doc about upping by 25mg increments especially if you’re a bigger guy. Part of the reason I switched to trazadone was the cost too. All these “natural” products were running $100 or more a month.
/r/Divorce_Men02/01/24 11:21 PM
4

I had insomnia for many years and it impacted my marriage significantly. Here’s my recommendations in the order to try: 1. Food & Drinks: Cut down on booze, Don’t eat heavy or spicy meals late. 3. Exercise 4. Meditation. Teaches you how to observe your thoughts, but not follow them down a path. 5. Develop routines. Wake up at the same time and have a bedtime routine. 6. Sleep environment. Adjust temp, fabrics, light pollution and smells. Weighted blanket. 7. Counseling 8. Hormones and OTC Substa…
/r/Divorce_Men02/01/24 12:43 PM
4

I’m walking that same path right now. Besides some jabs at Christmas Eve dinner, the Christmas PJs only purchased for her and the girls was a punch in the gut. The overly enthusiastic responses to gifts etc are all just reminders that I chose poorly over 20 years ago. I too can’t wait for her to move out. Starting to see the end of the tunnel. I’m ready for the next part of the journey.
/r/Divorce_Men26/12/23 11:46 AM
1

The kids are 16 and 14 so I’m not too worried about that. Thanks for the point of trying to get some repairs done now.
/r/Divorce_Men23/12/23 07:56 PM
1

Loan is at 2.65% and assumable. Most conventional mortgages do have a clause for adding a removing family. The house was a house she wanted. The rub is that it’s in a flood zone in Florida. Almost 12,000 in insurance and going up by 10-20% a year. Also I have some items to replace in the next 2 years. HVAC, water heater, washer and dryer. The place I’m looking at would be non flood zone downtown and all in monthly cost would be 500-600 less.
/r/Divorce_Men23/12/23 07:29 PM
3

I have been sober for 7 years. Drinking is such a self sabotaging activity especially at this point in time. Alternatives: Meditation - try guided meditations on insight timer apps Retail therapy- do some shopping like women do to think about what you want, but don’t buy any big ticket items Sugar- binge on some chocolate, cookies, ice cream. There can be a hangover but it has no long lasting impact on your relationships Prayer - if you are into that Hobbies - focus on building the future.
/r/Divorce_Men05/12/23 05:10 PM
1

Some really good advice in these responses. I’ll reference this as I read through some of the divorce paperwork today. My house situation is similar and my mortgage is with Mr. Cooper. I was able to initiate a request for mortgage assumption online and then they mail a package with an additional questionnaire. This needs to be sent back within 30 days, but the wife did not take action and that window has passed. You can create another request for review. I certainly hope she can get the mortgage…
/r/Divorce_Men23/11/23 08:03 AM
1

For meditation is in 3 different forms, group, guided using an app like insight timer and sitting by myself. It’s usually easiest to start in that order. I have done meditation at AA, recovery dharma, a shambla center, Christian AA retreat, and a Unitarian church. Sometimes I prefer guided meditation because it’s td easier to stop my negative thoughts with someone else injecting my brain with their positive words. I hope that gives you some places to start.
/r/Divorce_Men28/09/23 03:50 PM
2

Reading this forum, redpill, incel or mgtow you realize this is probably a pretty normal phase of the anger stage of grieving for men. You can feed the wolf of hate or not. How to stop negative thoughts is a big subject. For me meditation is helpful, actively focusing thoughts actions and improvements in other areas of life are helpful.
/r/Divorce_Men22/09/23 10:31 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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