~ archived since 2018 ~
~ archived since 2018 ~
| Upvotes | Title | Category | Author | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
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| Upvotes | Comment on | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
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| 1 | If you don’t care about personality, you’ll attract people who also don’t care about personality.I feel like you’ve told me before that I need to get off this subreddit because it can really have a negative effect on you mentally. I think you’re getting to that point no offense. I don’t think I’ve ever met someone who did not care about personality at all. Maybe from the scope of early dating where the newness of it all coupled with strong physical attraction can blind you to personality deficiencies. But, to paraphrase Billy Bob Thornton based on what he said one time after his marriage to… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/06/26 07:19 PM |
| 5 | Red pill brain but wanting to be betterWhen reading online dating forums, the ones focused on mean usually have a tendency to create 2 separate paths in the male dating advice sector: Looks are everything (more so about being in the top 20%/10%/5% matters) or looks don’t matter (and it’s all about game or personality traits). It’s a very black and white perspective when the truth is more so in the middle. I’ll even go as far as to say that both extreme perspectives are toxic for different reasons. The “looks are everything” crowd are… | /r/ExRedPill | 06/06/26 04:22 AM |
| 1 | Men are only loved transactionally if they choose to entertain itYou mention someone who appreciates you as a person. I have a question. Would you do the same for a woman who you personally didn’t find attractive? In other words, would you go for a woman just because of her character and who she is as a person instead of what she looks like? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/05/26 12:44 AM |
| – | There's nothing morally wrong with the af/bb strategy.Pretty much what I took away from OP’s depressing post. This idea that you’re either attractive (and I presume this means a generically blessed 9/10 or 10/10) or you’re being settled for is so fucking toxic. I had an entire comment written up but the poor fucker is too far gone if he believes strongly in this. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/05/26 08:35 PM |
| 3 | The CubeI think something like that is a crutch. If you’re a beginner and new to interacting with people there can be a benefit to using a crutch to help get your feet wet with experience talking to others (just realize that isn’t going to magically make a woman become attracted to you. Nothing really will). But after awhile, it’s best to move away from that type of crutch and start being yourself, albeit an improved version of yourself that is more open to conversing and meeting new people and social i… | /r/seduction | 22/05/26 02:31 PM |
| 5 | Realized I don't actually know how to hold a conversation.Honestly, this may get downvoted, but I would watch interviews and see the dynamic between the people being interviewed and the interviewer. This isn’t to say ask a million questions only but at least watch and see the flow of the conversations. A good person to watch is Craig Ferguson back in the day. Not because his “charm made these women madly attracted to him” because I think that’s a silly take away. Just watch and see how the conversation flows and how he’s able to go back and forth with … | /r/seduction | 22/05/26 02:27 PM |
| 1 | My answer to the "do looks matter" questionI pretty much agree with everything that you said. PUA/seduction advice has always come off as an ugly guy game where it’s guys looking for the tips and tricks in spite of their self perceived ugliness. I always thought the mindset was completely ass backwards because you’re by default pedestaling the woman and basically saying “I know she thinks I’m ugly so how do I convince her to be attracted to me inspite of my ugliness?” And the answer always comes down to having to try incredibly hard to t… | /r/seduction | 21/05/26 02:24 AM |
| 4 | What made you better/more natural?This was what I was about to say. My results got better the moment I learned to care less about outcome and learned to be ok with rejection. There’s 8 billion people in the world. That helped me to relax and to just let the chips fall where they may with women. If they’re interested great! If not, on to the next one. | /r/seduction | 19/05/26 01:01 AM |
| 2 | Does anyone notice better results when comfortable?I agree with the sentiment. I did better once I dropped the games and PUA rhetoric and just went out relaxed as myself. You still need to initiate but I became more ok with a “take it or leave it” approach and learning to be ok with rejection. Once I got past that and developed an abundance mentality, I became more relaxed and comfortable in dating and social situations in general and my results did improve as well. | /r/seduction | 19/05/26 12:58 AM |
| 1 | Live Approach Demonstrations: Hit and Run ApproachesYepp agreed. Honestly if I could go back in time to tell myself one thing it would be to read what I read from the PUA community for about a month and to then just lay it to rest and just start putting myself out there instead of holding myself to this ridiculous expectation that I needed to be perfect to make the woman attracted to me. Messed me up for a long time and really caused me to fumble quite a bit in my 20s. The best thing I ever came across that got me out of that head space was learn… | /r/seduction | 11/05/26 02:41 AM |
| 1 | Why is it that most guys naturally learn and figure out the whole dating/seduction thing, how to attract and talk to women correctly without ever having gotten help from a dating coach or pick up artist, or is it False? Did most guys have some help along the way?This is the irony of the seduction community. Most people don’t need dating advice and PUA advice to become successful with women. Men approach/initiate and are willing to shoot their shot. They developed their social skills in general by being social with everyone. From there they just went after what they wanted and either they got the girl or they didn’t. I had a buddy of mine who was incredibly good at getting women. He laughed at the idea of people reading dating advice because he felt like… | /r/seduction | 11/05/26 02:23 AM |
| 3 | Live Approach Demonstrations: Hit and Run ApproachesCompletely agree with the overall sentiment of avoiding over complicated game tactics making things worse. Knowledge and learning in the beginning is good but getting too bogged down in the weeds and not looking at the bigger picture doesn’t help. Learning to relax and being willing to take more chances and learning to be ok with rejection are substantially more important than any outer game tactics that are a crutch at best. | /r/seduction | 11/05/26 02:09 AM |
| 5 | How did you overcome approach anxiety, hesitation and stop overthinking before approaching someone?Exposure helps. But the big thing that helped me was learning to be ok with the negative outcome and developing an abundance mentality. I used to be too caught up in my head worrying about what to do and afraid of making the wrong move. It caused a lot of stress and panic and made me feel like I was walking on eggshells. Reading PUA seduction advice did not help and actually made the problem worse for me because I was so focused on the small details and fearing messing up that I couldn’t look at… | /r/seduction | 11/05/26 02:05 AM |
| 1 | If flirting isn’t your cup of tea, is it bad necessarily to just straight up have a discussion with the girl about if she wants to get intimate?That makes sense as well. I think in that scenario though it’s less about creating attraction and more about letting attraction breathe. You’re giving it the room required for it to be expressed from both sides and letting it grow like oxygen and space required to make a flame grow. If the attraction isn’t there, it’s not going to make that much of a difference (which is where we may disagree). However, if it is there, what you’re explaining is pretty much the best way to determine if it is in f… | /r/seduction | 05/05/26 02:45 PM |
| 2 | If flirting isn’t your cup of tea, is it bad necessarily to just straight up have a discussion with the girl about if she wants to get intimate?Sure I can clarify but I will add that what does make this more difficult is the whole friends first thing. There will definitely be people who can give better incite in to how to potentially take what you have as friends and progress/escalate it to something more. For a person you’re just getting to know, you can progress the situation by saying that you like their smile or that you really enjoy talking with them, give them a tap on the arm to prove their point. Put out your hand to give them a… | /r/seduction | 05/05/26 02:40 PM |
| 1 | If flirting isn’t your cup of tea, is it bad necessarily to just straight up have a discussion with the girl about if she wants to get intimate?I see what you’re saying. It’s not a cut and dry think in the sense of “do this to be more attractive to all the women” so much as it’s using your personality to create a better image of yourself compared to the first impression before an interaction has even taken place. That makes sense to me and I can get behind that. Appreciate the comment! | /r/seduction | 05/05/26 02:30 PM |
| 1 | If flirting isn’t your cup of tea, is it bad necessarily to just straight up have a discussion with the girl about if she wants to get intimate?So I have a question for you. You mention that flirting builds attraction. Can you go in to detail on this? I’ve always been close-minded to this idea that attraction can be created and built. I think attraction is a crap shoot that is either there or it isn’t and it’s your job to use the conversation to create rapport and build a connection while flirting to show interest as a means to test the waters and see if it reciprocated. However, I truly don’t believe that attraction can be built. In ot… | /r/seduction | 05/05/26 02:18 PM |
| 1 | If flirting isn’t your cup of tea, is it bad necessarily to just straight up have a discussion with the girl about if she wants to get intimate?I don’t think flirting is necessarily required. But you do have to show interest. Flirting is just a way of dipping your toes in the proverbial water to see if she feels the same about you. Too many dudes on this subreddit think that you need to do a certain set of actions to make a girl feel a certain way and if you don’t do those actions, she won’t feel it for you. However, reality isn’t that black and white. There are women that have been interested in you who you haven’t had to flirt with or… | /r/seduction | 05/05/26 02:04 PM |
| 1 | Men need to stop trying to get women to like them.True lol maybe it’s just the demographic of this subreddit. I know that this subreddit can provide a mixed bag of people so maybe I’ll take back my comment and say maybe you’re right lol | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/05/26 10:00 PM |
| 9 | Men need to stop trying to get women to like them.I think the concept of “jumping through hoops” means that the guy actively has to attract a woman to be in to him. Let’s put it this way. Guy meets girl. Guy gets to know girl. Guy finds girl physically attractive and enjoys conversation with girl. Guy is interested. In the roles reversed, guys will feel like this should be how it works for women as well. If it doesn’t, it means that the guy must do extra than just converse with women to make them attracted to them. And not just more, but the un… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/05/26 09:52 PM |
| 2 | Men need to stop trying to get women to like them.I’ll be honest with you. I’ve always been very biased and close minded to this way of thinking. But I will also say that I’ve become more open minded to the idea of being able to attract someone as a skill from an inner game perspective but not from an outer game perspective. This is me not shooting down your post. Far from it. Would you be willing to share what some of the skills are that can attract someone? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/05/26 09:45 PM |
| 1 | Men need to stop trying to get women to like them.But that seems to believe in the concept that you can make someone attracted to you. If that were the case, I don’t think there would be as many men complaining about dating if they can just simply learn a few tips to make and convince a woman to find them attractive. There’s a difference between trying with a woman who is a baseline attracted to you physically and trying to make magic happen when it’s not there to begin with. Can it be done? Sure. Will it? Probably not. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/05/26 08:51 PM |
| 3 | LOOKS WEEKLY DISCUSSION THREADCute is intended and good. People get too amped over this idea that they aren’t 10/10 and it kills their self esteem. The thing is though being a 10/10 is not necessary when being a 7/10 with a good personality who has the courage to take initiative and shoot their shot is enough. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/05/26 03:35 PM |
| 3 | how much do you guys 'plow', if at all, with girls who don't seem attracted?I’ve read your posts as a lurker and I agree with your overall sentiment. I believe that in this community there are 2 types of people: People who think you can game a woman who isn’t attracted to you and make her attracted People who believe game is important for closing the show with women who are interested enough I fall in line with group 2 (similar to you I presume). Like you said as well, reading about PUA made me feel like I caught up to my peers in a sense. The person I ended up becoming… | /r/seduction | 01/05/26 09:49 PM |
| 1 | Working on my approach game, Never really worked out! Need advise.It’s the inner conflict that I have had myself with the industry my friend. I cannot say with honesty that it was all bad. Like you described, at 18 when I first started reading it I was blown away at the knowledge that was available online (and this was in 2009 so it’s ten fold or even a hundred fold now). The first 2 weeks to a month were amazing but then something happened. The initial high of learning wore off and I started to question what I was reading. Then I started developing ridiculous… | /r/seduction | 01/05/26 07:06 PM |
| 1 | Working on my approach game, Never really worked out! Need advise.Agreed. It just always sounded too good to be true and a bit hypocritical to me. Like yeah I can accept that men care more about physical attraction than women for example but I think game takes that concept to the opposite of the extreme which is looks don’t matter and the correct use of game can get you any woman you want. It’s ridiculous to me and I think people drink the kool aid too much with it. | /r/seduction | 01/05/26 04:44 PM |
| 5 | how much do you guys 'plow', if at all, with girls who don't seem attracted?Completely agree. I just think this whole PUA thing causes guys to miss the forest for the trees and just makes dating out to be rocket science and just so overly technical. I’ve read PUA advice starting in 2009 and though there were good things that I took away from it, my God all it mainly did was make me walk on eggshells afraid to say something wrong and think that I needed to convince and work really hard to get women to be interested in me. | /r/seduction | 01/05/26 04:16 PM |
| 1 | Working on my approach game, Never really worked out! Need advise.I read your first comment and this one and i wholeheartedly agree with your stance. Too many dudes get sucked in to this belief that they can make something out of nothing and create attraction out of thin air by running game. The only thing it creates is a sense of belief that quickly evaporates in to neediness and desperation by believing that they need to work extra hard to get a woman to say yes and be interested and if their “game” isn’t working then there must be something wrong with them.… | /r/seduction | 01/05/26 12:56 PM |
| 1 | I’m confident with people, but I shut down around womenYou’re too concerned over saying something wrong or being friendzoned or a negative outcome from taking place. My suggestion. Talk to women as you would a friend or whatever mental concept that allows you to relax. You don’t need to be suave or charming or make all the right moves to get the chick. Breathe, do whatever you can to relax your mind during the conversation and if you like the girl, shoot your shot and ask for a number. | /r/seduction | 29/04/26 06:24 PM |
| 1 | how to have interesting convos with womenThis is a good example that illustrates what I mentioned in my comment about Deep Diving. Asking a question and branching off on a conversation based on one of the things they mention. In your example above, you can branch off in to a discussion about the hobbies she used to do, her interests back then vs now, what she does for a living, what drove her to that field, etc. And it’s not just about asking questions but also making statements pertaining to what their interests are and tying them bac… | /r/seduction | 21/04/26 03:02 PM |
| 3 | how to have interesting convos with womenStart off by learning how to have interesting conversations with people in general (people you aren’t attracted to). Experience is the best teacher. If you’re looking for an example, look in to the concept of Deep Diving which focuses on having conversations by asking a question, seeing what the person gives you in response, and diving deeper in to 1 of the key points in their response. I can articulate examples to you but I think a google search will be more beneficial. From there, once you can… | /r/seduction | 21/04/26 01:11 PM |
| 2 | What were the subject of seduction that you struggle the most?The idea that you need to run perfect game to attract someone. All it did was put me in my head paralyzed by analysis and walking on eggshells afraid to mess it up. The more I read the worse I did because there is a general theme of seduction advice that I don’t resonate with and that’s you can create attraction and make someone interested. Can you increase the probability? For sure. But nothing is guaranteed. You can’t make someone like you and be attracted to you. However, I will add to my las… | /r/seduction | 20/04/26 02:50 PM |
| 1 | She went cold againYepp that’s the way. Too many women in this world to spin your wheels trying to lock down one who is not putting in reciprocal effort to get together. | /r/seduction | 19/04/26 03:49 PM |
| 8 | She went cold againShe’s playing hot and cold. There may be a way to turn this around in your favor and maybe someone on here will be able to give you advice who can turn this around better than I would. But my view is that she’s playing hot and cold and is barely interested so fuck that. Bounce the fuck out of there and go cold on her. It may make her put more effort in but that’s not why you should go cold. You do it because why the fuck do you want to deal with someone who is this hot and cold. That being said,… | /r/seduction | 19/04/26 03:37 PM |
| 2 | The ultimate list of unattractive traits that turn off women even if they were initially interested in you.You realize that you can’t change your height right? If you believe that you’re doomed and fucked then why are you on a dating subreddit? If you believe that no amount of self improvement and self acceptance will make a different then that’s fine. But go ahead and complain in the corner while rocking back and forth in the fetal position while people who are your height and race are managing to be successful in dating. Remember that everyone gets rejected and some women will reject you over the r… | /r/seduction | 19/04/26 03:29 PM |
| 5 | The ultimate list of unattractive traits that turn off women even if they were initially interested in you.Too long and too much effort worrying about coming off as any of these. Following your advice will just have dudes walking on eggshells making sure they don’t commit any errors or else the woman will leave him. Either way the solution in most of these cases is to develop solid inner game and to learn to be ok losing the girl and fully realizing that you would be ok if you lost her because there’s 8 billion people in the world and plenty of women would be interested in you. | /r/seduction | 19/04/26 03:27 PM |
| 1 | The loser mindset of "I don't know what to do / say"I had a post written initially towards this comment but I felt like it was too aggressive towards you and your stance and that’s not right or cool to do. I do think from lurking on this subreddit for quite some time and seeing your comments from time to time that you’re overly technical with your approach and I do question how you’re able to get out of your head and be in the moment instead of trying to run scripts and this overly technical game. But who am I to question something that works for… | /r/seduction | 18/04/26 04:24 PM |
| 3 | The loser mindset of "I don't know what to do / say"Completely agree. Analysis paralysis is a big sticking point in this area. I’ve been there. Reading so much game theory (and not actually believing a good chunk of it) would just bog me down and leave me stuck in my head not knowing what I should say or do in any given moment. I became so shit scared of fucking up that I wouldn’t try and when I did try, I would leave dates and interactions with a headache and muscle stiffness due to how much tension and pressure I would put on myself. What ended… | /r/seduction | 18/04/26 04:18 PM |
| 1 | if you had to choose between investing into either salsa/bachata or yoga as a hobby to maximize the chances of finding a future girlfriend, what would you pick?Neither because you’re approaching taking up those hobbies as a means to find a girlfriend and not because you actually enjoy them. The hobby that you should take up should be something first and foremost you actually would like and enjoy doing even if it doesn’t result in finding a future girlfriend. Joining a salsa class because you want to learn salsa with the secondary reason being the potential to you hitting it off with someone or making a friend who may have single friends is the right me… | /r/seduction | 18/04/26 04:06 PM |
| 3 | How to be more fun and charismatic?Damn good advice. I had a buddy when I was younger who was better than me at hooking up and getting women interested. He had a way about him that was very touchy and flirty. A way that didn’t sit well with me. But it made me question myself quite a bit back then. Eventually I figured out and accepted that I did not want to do it his way cause it felt off to me and that I would find my own way that fits more with my personality instead. It made my interactions less fake and felt healthier to me f… | /r/seduction | 17/04/26 12:35 AM |
| – | Is it wrong for men to learn social skills to become more attractive to women? If so then what should these men do?What you’re saying is absolutely true and holds merit. That’s one of the reasons why the PUA/seduction community are enticing to people who have been unsuccessful in this area of life. It gives them a script/framework to use while you become more confident and comfortable along the way. All stuff that isn’t bad at all. In fact, I think if you’re someone who has very little (if any experience) in dating that reading and learning stuff from those channels can actually be beneficial to help you pla… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/04/26 04:15 PM |
| 1 | Is it wrong for men to learn social skills to become more attractive to women? If so then what should these men do?Yepp I agree with this. Success is not guaranteed no matter how good someone looks or how funny they are or how charismatic or the quality of their game is. But working on those areas can improve one’s odds of success in the realm of dating (and in other related areas as well) and that’s all we really can hope to accomplish by working on those things. An increase in our odds of success in any one particular moment. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/04/26 02:43 AM |
| 2 | Is it wrong for men to learn social skills to become more attractive to women? If so then what should these men do?It’s the difference between becoming more attractive (the adjective) and trying to attract (the verb). The idea of taking actions trying to attract reinforces the notion that you aren’t attractive therefore you need to run scripts and put on a performance to attract. For one night stands, if you can play the part, then have it. But for something more long term, you can’t keep running scripts because the mask will eventually fall off. Therefore you’re better off actually trying to become more att… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/04/26 01:29 AM |
| 1 | Is it wrong for men to learn social skills to become more attractive to women? If so then what should these men do?I have a very love/hate relationship with the PUA industry (mostly hate). On one hand, I think if you’re a very inexperienced guy then I actually do believe that reading PUA advice can be very helpful. Not because you just found the holy grail to attract any and every woman you’ve ever wanted with ease by just following 10 simple tricks and scripts but because it allows you to be able to catch up to the guys your age who’ve learned through experience. That was my biggest takeaway when I started … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/04/26 01:21 AM |
| 1 | Common dating advice straight up doesn’t work for the average guy struggling with datingI’m really late to the party but came across this thread randomly and was reading through the answers. For the record, I don’t believe in the red pill stuff beyond the self improvement aspect (I make that comment based on your caption underneath your user name). That being said, your advice is very fucking solid and I think you identify the nuance between “just be yourself” which is code word for “just relax and don’t try to be someone you’re not” and “becoming someone else”because yourself isn’… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/04/26 10:53 PM |
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