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ElderSign Archive

View 0 posts and 123 comments by ElderSign on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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2

IMHO marriage at its core is becoming one unit, in stead of two people who just enjoy each others' company. If you want to stay two people who just enjoy each others' company, don't get married. Nothing wrong with it. Just don't wonder when your partner treats the relationship the same way. Typical example, you get a great job offer in another city, but she has nothing lined up there and is unlikely to find anything as good as her current one. If unmarried, she needs to weigh whether she loves y…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/21 08:27 AM
5

Like attracts like. Comfortable/relaxed/lazy men attract comfortable/relaxed/lazy women (yo). Ambitious men attract ambitious women (whether that is ambitious appearance-maintenance-wise, domestically, or career-wise).
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/20 12:24 PM
3

That it's simply impossible to act like you are enjoying yourself to make your husband feel desired. But at that moment he is not desired. You would want your wife to lie to you?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/10/19 08:46 AM
3

The funny thing about this statistic is that if it were the opposite, i.e. men initiating most divorces (because "I wasn't happy"), it would in all likelihood be taken as evidence that marriage makes men miserable and women aren't holding up their end of the "marriage contract". By the same people who now hold the real statistic as evidence of the same thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/19 11:14 AM
2

Huh. I'll take your word for it. For me an orgasm is an orgasm when it comes to physical sensations. Sex is better because of the rest of it.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/19 01:12 PM
3

Sex itself to orgasm is like running to the toilet to peeing. If that's the case, why even bother with sex? You know your body better than anyone else and, in all likelihood, masturbation would be a more efficient way of getting an orgasm.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/19 12:35 PM
1

I got my numbers from this magazine (in Finnish), where they asked an expert of the statistics bureau to look into it. Trying to find this info from the report itself is a pain. It's in figure 15.2 on page 192, which refers to this table, which includes the disclaimer "Data restricted to "carers", i.e. mothers and fathers who are engaged in at least one child care activity during the diary day" and refers to this publication. It in turn refers to OECD time use database, which was a dead end to m…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/19 07:05 PM
2

Being Finnish, I heard about the time study when it came out. It looked into time spent caring for children, on the days when the parent participates in childcare. Which is 22% of the sample days for fathers, 42% for mothers. Finnish men are generally fantastic, but childcare is still unevenly distributed.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/19 03:59 PM
14

"Single, not looking" and "happily single" have been descriptors of relationship status since at least the 80s, for both genders. I'd even go so far as to say that "single" without clarification implies "not looking". "Bachelor lifestyle" probably goes even further back. Bitching about women online is the one thing that separates MGTOW from these IMHO.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/19 11:34 AM
6

If you were to try to make predictions based on that study and "typically gendered behaviors", you'd be wrong 57% of the time for boys and 64% for girls. Sounds pretty meaningless to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/09/18 09:40 AM
6

How is bringing up the actual results of the study being discussed "handwaving"?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/09/18 09:17 AM
6

In part and on average. Even in that study, only a minority of the children showed a preference for "their type", most either showed no preference or a preference for the other gender's "type" (table 1). Few people deny that there's a difference in averages, but that the variation within a gender is great enough to render that mostly meaningless.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/09/18 05:12 AM
1

The US never ceases to surprise me.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/18 05:43 PM
1

You don't?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/18 12:45 PM
2

For firefighters, I agree. For police officers, not really. Physical force is not as much a necessity, there are roles for physically weak but smart or empathetic police officers regardless of gender. Also we want to have some women in the police force, because sometimes it's easier for the victims or witnesses to talk to women. I feel the same way about men as teachers and mental health professionals; they're underrepresented and just being male is a benefit in some cases.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/18 09:07 AM
3

How would you feel about a man born into wealth who became a good doctor, lives in a mansion and drives a sports car? How would you feel about a scam artist who was born poor, but now lives in a mansion and drives a sports car because he's really good and hard-working at frauding seniors?
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/18 04:27 AM
1

Sometimes the practical benefits/disadvantages outweigh the moral argument. I don't think we should subsidize peoples' drug use; however needle exchange programs are cost-effective in preventing transmission of disease and keeping dirty needles away from public places, so I support them. I think the father of a child should always be informed and have the opportunity to adopt a child that's not wanted by the mother; however I'm open to the idea that anonymous drop-off is better than dumpster bab…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/18 04:15 PM
1

Why does he want to have sex with a woman who doesn't want sex with him? Wouldn't a pity fuck just lead to loathing on both sides? These discussions are always framed as "why doesn't she just 'give him sex'", when IMHO the problem is "why doesn't she want to have sex with him". Which can be because she doesn't orgasm (oral!), he's let himself go, she's stressed over other things (most likely IMHO), or one of a number of other things, none of which are helped by her feeling pressured for sex. Has…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/18 08:14 AM
1

I think we're just repeating out points, so thank you for the discussion, this will be my final response. Your whole "misjudged attraction" argument is IMHO silly. It's no different from "I thought he would loan me money but he won't, so clearly I misjudged him, friendship RIP." Friendship that is that easy to end is no true friendship. And once again, lack of attraction is not the only reason; for example the reasons I would never date my closest male friends range from "they're a friend of (at…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/18 11:21 AM
1

A rejection signals that the rejecter does not view the rejectee in that higher level of affection/respect I mean... No. There are things you look for in a friend, and things you look for in a romantic partner, and though there is great overlap they aren't the same. And no, it's not limited to genitals and appearance. But even if it were true, the rejectee is the one throwing away the "considerable respect and affection" of friendship, because it's not "more". Not something someone who has "cons…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/18 05:46 PM
1

Even in that case, the rejection still damages the friendship because it's clear that there's less mutual respect/affection/attraction than the rejectee had thought. If you turn down a hypothetical unattractive lady-friend, or a gay male friend, does that mean there's less respect or affection? And what does (romantic/sexual) attraction have to do with friendship? If hope of romantic/sexual attraction is the one thing keeping the rejectee in the friendship, how is he a friend - that's the crux o…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/18 10:53 AM
1

I'm confused. I thought we had agreed that it's very possible to be friends with someone and have no romantic interest in them, for various reasons (or at least appearance, I'm not sure if we agree on others?) I also thought that we agreed that stringing someone along with a romantic hopes is bad (since we're in a Nice Guy discussion). But you seem to be saying that if one friend develops an unrequited crush, the target not returning the amorous feelings is evidence that the friendship is fake, …
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/18 06:00 AM
4

People go to dates to get to know a person. You already know them. All a date would do is to make the inevitable rejection more painful. Or do you think going on a date with that would-drive-me-crazy-if-I-saw-them-on-a-daily-basis, or ugly, or otherwise not relationship material girl, would be better than a polite refusal? To go back to the financial comparison, if you already know you don't want to loan your friend money, why would you have them give you the pitch? Edit: And wouldn't that be st…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/18 09:44 AM
3

Really? You think all your friends would be great relationship material, if not to you then to, say, your hypothetical sister? A lot of my friends, though great people (hence friends), are people who would drive me crazy if I had to be around them on a daily basis. Some are people I love but would never rely on. And yes, physical attraction plays a part, or can't you imagine being friends with an ugly woman?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/18 09:00 AM
1

It's not the asking that is the issue, just like with Nice Guys. It's the often angry end of the "friendship" after a no. I can't imagine a Real Friendship suddenly ending because of something line that. Women giving male friendships the benefit of the doubt is what Nice Guys complain about; the equivalent of daring to trust and befriend someone as a rich guy, while having no intention of ever becoming financially/romantically involved with them.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/18 08:16 AM
14

I'd imagine having friends as a wealthy person is similar to having male friends as a woman. The OP's version of a nice guy is a poor person who is trying to prove themselves reliable, before asking for an investment or loan. The wealthy person notices and takes advantage. Women's version of a nice guy is a poor person who, after you've let them know that you don't mix friendships and finance, sticks around. You have fun together, and eventually you grow to trust them as a friend. Then one day t…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/18 08:42 AM
1

What are the ones that count? Nobody is saying that people unilaterally making significant choices for the relationship is good, whether that is the woman sabotaging contraception or the man deciding to come home with a Porsche. At least I've been told that C/FM doesn't mean that the captain just does what he wants.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/18 02:10 AM
2

Your friends don't tell you when the compromise goes their way. I vented to my friends about how much it sucked that we couldn't get a cat; I'm pretty sure he didn't talk to his about how great it was. I don't know if the pregnancy-related examples of yours are a true compromise in the same vein as having a dog/cat and a truly accidental pregnancy, or if you mean the women unilaterally decided to stop contraception. If the latter then it sucks, and those women are awful human beings, but it IMHO…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/18 05:25 PM
5

Wife wants two kids vice one. You really should have discussed this before even having the one kid. Probably falls under "easy to tell which one wants it more". If she -really- wants two kids, and is willing to do the work for it, then you would probably budge(?). If you -really- hate the idea, then she probably would. You want a dog, she doesn't. We had a similar situation. For 10 years, he wanted to be cat-free more than I wanted a cat (which was a lot). Then he mellowed, and after a few more …
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/18 04:38 PM
3

Ideally you avoid them; that's why you've chosen as your partner a like-minded person, not the hottest piece of ass you can get to stick around with constant effort. If you have these cases more than every 5-10 years minimum, you're not good for each other. Most relationships don't have more than maybe 0-2 over their entire lifespan. But if there's simply no compromise? Massive fight. Hopefully the relationship is in a good enough state that it can survive, but it may not. More healthy than a co…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/18 04:24 PM
2

The hubby and I have been married for well over 10 years. We trust each other that any decision made by either on their own won't harm us as a couple. On most shared decisions neither really cares (eg. the "what to have for dinner" question), so whoever bothers to voice something first has in practice decided it. For the rest, it's usually very obvious who cares more, so compromising is simple. It's definitely not a "captain and first mate" dynamic, but it might as well have been: if either of u…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/18 10:29 AM
1

Thank you, captain obvious. Yes, I did know pre-nups are for divorce. Still it transforms a "we're in this together (for now)" relationship, into a "mine and yours, shared (for now)" relationship. It's easier to sacrifice for "us" when you're married without a pre-nup (e.g. moving for the other's career opportunities, unequal sharing of childcare or chores) because it really is good for the both of you, whatever comes. Which is the main point about marriage, imho.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/18 04:48 AM
2

I wouldn't want to even be in a relationship with someone who did literally nothing, but if you want to then yeah, you definitely shouldn't marry them without a pre-nup. If I ended up in a relationship where I didn't need to do literally anything I probably wouldn't mind signing a pre-nup either (being a kept woman living with the man I love, able to pursue my own interests without financial concerns or relationship obligations, would be awesome), but again in that case I'd rather not get marrie…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/18 08:03 AM
1

I have seen "we're one" turn into divorce literally every time I've seen this literally never, so we're at the complete opposite ends of the probable bell curve. I think a lot of RPers and BPers come from very different backgrounds and run in very different groups though. (Though if you thought I meant "love at first sight, soulmates!", I did not. I meant a considered "we've known each other for years, probably lived together for some of them, and support each other to the point that any accompl…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/18 07:30 AM
2

It's totally fine, it's just not a "we're one" kind of relationship, so why get married at all?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/18 05:11 AM
22

Depends on the contents of the pre-nup. For existing debt, assets acquired before marriage, potential inheritance, setting up for children (together and separately), stuff like that? Totally fine and understood. For other assets acquired during the marriage? I probably wouldn't be too upset but I would not marry him; that's a relationship of convenience, not an union.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/18 03:39 PM
5

Off track, but YoI has exactly one kiss, and even that's shown blocked (and the kisser is Russian, so...). The gay is strongly hinted at but never said outright. IMHO it even loses something if you go with the "they're gay" interpretation, rather than them being skilled athletes who are completely at ease with their bodies, their friendships, and physical contact, not worrying about outside perceptions.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/01/18 03:41 PM
1

A little. Less than it should maybe. I would have preferred the simulated people to live the rest of their expected (human) lifespans in a separate as-pleasant-as-possible simulation depicting the outside. But they weren't intentionally hurt; the worst they had to endure was a mildly unpleasant one-year relationship, and I'm guessing they went out in a flash of simulated endorphins. A bit similar to meat production or animal testing I guess. The death of a production animal is not the main issue…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/01/18 02:57 PM
3

I thought it was lovely. I still prefer San Junipero when it comes to hopeful Black Mirror episodes, but still very nice. The app predicted compatibility based on simulations of how likely the people are, after years of consideration, to both still sacrifice everything and defy basically the whole world and everything they'd been taught to believe just to be together. Seems like a valid method of predicting long-term relationship success, and one very few people (even fewer in the subgroup of re…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/17 08:37 AM
1

No, but then again the lock on this one is working properly. The lesson I've learned in my adult life is that expecting the worst of people brings out the worst in people; trust will get you burned on occasion, but more often people will exceed your expectations. Still, of course, better to take precautions with things you can't afford to lose; but it's always the asshole taking advantage that's 100% at fault.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/09/16 06:05 PM
1

My hubby actually woke up and noticed the bike gone before I did. He sent me a text so I'd know to leave early and take the bus to work. Later he commented that it was kind of creepy that someone would have stolen it from right in front of our house. He didn't call me dumb, but did mention that I might want to keep the next one locked. I bought a cheapo on the way home, used it until autumn sales, then got something more up to my modest standards and gave the cheapo to an organization helping lo…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/09/16 05:20 PM
1

Well, I did not expect that. Sorry about your bike. I brought up my case because I genuinely expected that "sorry about your bike" to be the default response on Reddit too, once we got some distance to the emotional rape discussions and the degrees of victim blaming that tend to go with it, and maybe we'd find some common ground that way. Makes me appreciate my peer group more. Within the last ten or so years we've had at least one phone lost after a bar night, and one pair of medically importan…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/09/16 04:22 PM
1

Where I'm from "blame" or "responsibility" or "it's on you" generally implies "you screwed up, you handle it"; if I'm partially to blame, it would stand to reason you'd think it less of a crime, less worthy of police resources or punishment. Assigning blame without demanding consequences just seems like an excuse to feel superior.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/09/16 02:36 PM
1

If I had locked my bike, it probably wouldn't have got stolen. Locked bikes get stolen all the time too. What are "proper precautions" bike-wise? Nobody is saying taking precautions is bad, mind you. Drinking in moderation, locking your bike, making note of the fire exits. All good things. But failing to do so isn't usually accompanied by this "you brought it on yourself, what did you expect" vibe, rather than sympathy. It's fascinating.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/09/16 02:32 PM
1

So I did the mistake, I should suffer the consequences, the police shouldn't even bother accepting a report much less investigate, and the thief should not be punished (at all, or at least more leniently than if it had been a locked bike)? Edit: Sorry if this sound flippant, I'm just trying to discern what people actually mean when they talk about "the victim's responsibility".
/r/PurplePillDebate22/09/16 10:45 AM
2

So the thief should have a lesser sentence? The police should spend less resources on solving the case? I should be displayed to the public as a cautionary example? I'm curious of RP thinking here.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/09/16 10:17 AM
1

How much responsibility for the theft do I bear? How should it [the bike having been unlocked] affect anything, compared to if the bicycle had been locked?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/09/16 09:47 AM
1

I took the risk of not protecting my bike against thieves to what is currently considered the reasonable standard, yes. You didn't answer my questions.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/09/16 08:27 AM
1

The lock was finicky and difficult to unlock on cold mornings. It was right outside our window in a safe neighborhood, a mid-range model nothing exciting, and I was trusting. How should that have an effect on anything?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/09/16 07:25 AM
0

My unlocked bicycle was stolen a few years back. How much responsibility for the theft do I bear? How should it affect anything, compared to if the bicycle had been locked?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/09/16 07:22 AM
4

I feel it warrants going off-topic enough to point out that not all meat has the same ecological impact. For example some people here did some math, and noted that swapping beef for chicken (+fish) cuts your dietary carbon footprint much more than going from chicken to vegan. In case someone here is wanting to cut their emissions but not their animal-based protein.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/16 10:02 AM
4

The OP's point was that a man having lots of sex is difficult, therefore it should be a respected achievement. I was pointing out that this is faulty logic. However someone out there is almost certainly terribly impressed by someone else's figurine collection, eating speed, sauna ability or bottle-in-assitude, and that's fine. It's just a matter of shared priorities, not a universal principle. If you and your bros think pursuing sex is a good way to spend your time, money and energy, then go ahe…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/16 04:37 PM
3

How is a guy who sleeping with a lot of girls that are attractive not charismatic, intelligent, hot etc etc? Think Charlie Sheen.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/16 02:06 PM
5

For the sake of argument, let's say I agree that a man sleeping with women that are desired by many implies that he is charismatic, intelligent, virtuous and so on. (I don't.) I'd probably look up to that man for being all that, regardless of how much sex he's having. If a man was all that and chose to not have casual sex, would you think any less of him?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/16 05:06 PM
27

Things that are difficult: collecting every Star Wars figurine winning an eating contest sitting in a hot sauna until you pass out fitting an entire bottle up your ass Things that are easy: learning the Heimlich maneuver (and saving a life with it, if you are "lucky" enough to need it) adopting a dog/cat a few hours of volunteer work per month Conclusion: That something is difficult doesn't make it commendable, and something being easy doesn't make it bad (or vice versa).
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/16 11:07 AM
1

A-C seem to be to have more to do with confidence than dominance? I mean, a good follower or submissive would have those qualities too. A thin-skinned sub unable to articulate their needs, playing passive-aggressive games, sounds like a nightmare. That being said, confidence is essential for charisma/presence/leadership. (I hate the term "dominance".)
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/16 01:59 AM
4

A good analogy for this is sometimes I don't feel like going out after a tough week, and if my friends invite me out Id say no. But, if they show up at my house, I'll usually go with it, and have a ton of fun. Going with this analogy, sometimes you don't have fun. You tell your friends no. They tell you it'll be fun. You tell them no again. They make a sad face and try to make you feel guilty, saying it won't be any fun without you. Eventually you sigh and give in because clearly they aren't abo…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/16 10:16 AM
2

An adult person who loses ability to think of the consequences of their actions, including consequences to other people directly involved, at the possibility of "I'm gonna score tonight" deserves to be shamed also.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/16 11:28 AM
-1

I'm well past 17 (or 25) and still don't "know" men were willing to try to do whatever to get in my pants. Most men (and women) I've known would not want to be part of someone else's mistake. The ones that knowingly would, deserve to be shamed.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/16 10:49 AM
2

Replace "17" with "18" and "8" with "7" in the above post.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/16 10:41 AM
4

A 25-year-old dating/fucking a 17-year-old implies that the 25-year-old hasn't matured in the last 8 years, or doesn't care and is taking advantage of the less-mature 17-year-old. And I say "taking advantage" because holy shit, think back on your 17-year-old self and say you weren't a dumb kid, and aren't now embarassed of your experiments with alcohol/drugs/sex/art/philosophy/whatever at at that age?
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/16 08:00 AM
8

Unrelated to the original topic, but the low appreciation of teachers in the US was really driven home to me by this comment. Depending on the type and position of the engineer, in Finland that'd be a pretty equal pairing in social standing, though the engineer would be paid more.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/03/16 05:22 AM
1

Might be a cultural thing. Over here, tardiness means you've screwed up badly and are showing severe disrespect. Kind of like farting in someone's face, then thanking them for bearing the smell.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/16 07:22 PM
1

I have to disagree with that last part. If someone was late for a meeting and just thanked us, I'd be angry, in the "Not like you gave us a choice, dipshit" kind of way. However, following an apology for wasting others' time, it's nice. I agree with most other examples in the comic though.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/16 03:10 PM
3

I wouldn't have acknowledged him in any way, except maybe move further away if possible. I would hope for hubby to squeeze my hand reassuringly and do the same, then kiss me when we're sure he's gone, just to make sure I know he completely disagrees with the insults directed at me. Insults from a stranger should roll off a Man like water off a duck's back, and insults against "my honor" are mine to deal with how I wish, or not at all. I would expect hubby to have my back if for some reason I cho…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/11/15 12:43 PM
2

Is this the report you were referring to? https://www.cps.gov.uk/publications/research/perverting_course_of_justice_march_2013.pdf
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/15 07:12 AM
7

This. Thinking of my grandparents and older/more conservative in-laws, that is where the man had a garage, worked long hours, and/or did hours of outdoor activities daily. In more liberal/"feminist" relationships (my parents, siblings), the man tends to have much more say and a place of their choosing in the domestic sphere as well. Though some men (hello, hubby!) seem to almost completely lack interest in it.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/15 10:21 AM
2

That's different from how I'm reading it though. Of course you want to help someone through their depression (duh), but if it goes on and on for years with no end in sight and nothing you say or do seems to make a difference, until the person underneath is only a vague memory? Or entering a relationship with someone like that? I'm speaking from the perspective of a person with a depression history both in and out of the relationship; and as someone trying to help a friend struggling with (fluctu…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/08/15 01:55 AM
3

Would you want to be with a depressed or suicidal woman, especially in a LTR?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/08/15 12:10 PM
1

Well, yeah. If an ugly woman came on to you, ignored your "no thank you"s and waited/encouraged you to drink more until you went home with her against your better (impaired) judgement, I'd think that woman was an asshole. Wouldn't you?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/15 07:04 PM
0

Do note that my definition of assholery (not even rape) included both regret and lack of persistant "enthusiastic consent". That being said and not related to the original topic, a bartender pouring you drinks when you're clearly too drunk to walk straight or talk in complete sentences, and not at least attempting very strongly to discourage you, is an asshole and I'd hope they get fired or the bar goes out of business. (It's also technically illegal where I live.)
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/15 04:56 PM
-1

Read again. Did either of you regret it after sobering up?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/15 03:29 PM
-1

There's a difference between "unable to give consent, that's rape" and "taking advantage of someone in a vulnerable state, you're a selfish asshole, should be ashamed, I want nothing to do with you or anyone revealing themselves as selfish assholes by defending you, and people are completely justified in eg. not wanting you attending the school they manage". Rape: Passed out or not able to give a coherent answer Asshole: Did she/he regret it after sobering up? Was she/he anything less than 100% …
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/15 03:17 PM
0

The way I see it, we're sentient processes; like rogue AIs of sci-fi, only biologically based. Claiming to use awareness of your/our old remaining programming to more effectively fulfill the programmed function, rather than rebelling against it, just seems more than a bit lazy. If you're aware of it, shouldn't you be trying to rise above it? "The military AI gained sentience and then unquestioningly kept doing the same old thing; when asked, it merely commented 'I was programmed to derive satisf…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/15 09:08 AM
0

If you seriously bought your gf, say, one of those mood rings that leave a green line around your finger and expected her to wear it as an engagement ring, she might reconsider. Getting something as a symbol and joke and getting engaged without rings? Different matter entirely. But a setting demands on a "serious" ring? Absolutely. I mean, if my hubby had proposed to me with some gaudy zirconia monstrosity, the response would have been "honey, I love you, but I'm not wearing that". If he had pro…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/15 04:35 PM
3

Actually having requests/demands on a ring seems perfectly reasonable to me, seeing as it's one accessory you'll be wearing for the rest of your life. If I was stuck with one set of earrings, or one necklace, or one bag, or one pair of shoes, I'd want it to be something I like. Of course there's a world of difference between my request for "basic gold band that goes with anything" and "brand name, half a carat minimum", but the reasoning is the same?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/15 06:30 AM
11

After how much time, if ever, is the partner who still wants to have a sex life justified in pursuing the "last ditch" option that is divorce? Either partner, at any time. I would think less of both of them if they don't... 1) have the honest discussion you describe in your post 2) give it at least a few months' effort post-discussion 3) remain on cordial terms for the sake of the children. Has anything in the withholding partner's behavior violated their marriage vows? No. If not the vows thems…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/12/14 11:51 AM
5

In Finland, at least, it's definitely cultural. I could talk about this for a while, but rather than bore you I'll just point out that the song that is, I think, still considered our national pop/rock anthem (loved by men and women alike), is about a man who axe-murders his wife and children.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/11/14 09:30 AM
1

I spend way too much on a collection that the hubby very much disapproves of. The closest he has come to approving has been "if they take up any more space I'll throw them out" (the implication being that he won't throw them out if they don't). I would never reply to his protesting with a "fuck you", but I do continue in spite of his obvious disapproval and grudging tolerance, so I definitely identify with the woman in your story. In my case, my "want" is bigger than his "do not want" (or he wou…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/10/14 06:35 AM
2

Neither, definitely not feminist. Any "but women are less physically capable on average, it's just not faaaair" reasoning is IMHO bullshit. However, is more women in itself a benefit in the police force? We want more male nurses because for some customers they're easier to talk to. We definitely want more male teachers to give troubled boys more relatable role models. In these cases, having a penis should give a +1 in applications. If boobs are a +1 in policing due to eg. the wishes of rape vict…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/09/14 04:45 AM
1

A. I don't "get" transsexualism. It's a bit like how I view quantum tunneling. I know it exists, I don't think there's a moral component to it, I know there are practical applications using the knowledge to improve peoples' lives, but I won't even pretend to understand it, and to be completely honest it kind of freaks me out. B. I'll trust the majority of medical experts if they say that surgery and two years of hormones is on average enough to put a transwoman-athlete on the same level as a cis…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/09/14 06:02 AM
4

Him wanting a paternity test wouldn't necessarily mean divorce, if presented the right way. "It's not that I don't trust you, I'd just like to have it on paper; you trust your friends but would still insist on a contract if you borrowed them any significant amount of money" would work for me, if (IF!) his trust was evident through other actions. It would cast a long shadow, but be survivable.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/14 06:13 PM
12

Neither, because neither obligatory sex nor obligatory conversation are enjoyable.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/14 11:28 AM
3

Two decades. Offtopic: I'm repeatedly shocked to realize that the time between 1994 and 2014 (which doesn't feel that long to me) is the same as 1994 and 1974 (which feel like two different eras). Makes you feel old.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/14 04:01 PM
3

IIRC sterilization has an approximately 5% regret rate even with the restrictions in place. In other words, it's a method of contraception that has a 5% chance of causing unwanted permanent sterility. If the pill or the eventual male pill had those odds, nobody would dare take it. I completely understand any doctor wanting to avoid recommending or performing it to young people. Primum non nocere and all that.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/08/14 07:58 AM
3

AI achieves sentience, focuses all efforts on flipping the "isHappy" boolean, makes statement of "what else there is besides my programming".
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/14 11:54 AM
1

I thought it was very unlikely too (winning the lottery and all that), so I don't blame you for being sceptical. But unlike you, I believe both the options you present - LTR with someone you need to keep up appearances for, or "spinning plates" indefinitely - are vastly less preferable to putting your energy into pursuing other things that make you feel fulfilled. Other social relationships, your skills, your career, your art, improving the world somehow, what have you. I'd pretty much agree wit…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/14 09:03 AM
2

I believe only a relationship with your own personal kind of "unicorn", that you can be 100% yourself with and who loves you for you, warts and all, is worth having. And yes, finding that I believe is largely down to luck. Pretty much all you can do to find one is meet others in environments that attract like-minded people, which is something you should do anyway because social isolation or spending time with people you don't have anything in common with is rarely enjoyable. If you want sex, the…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/14 07:40 AM
2

I never pursued a romantic relationship; I honestly thought I'd be single forever. But then I met a man I surprisingly "clicked" with. 15 years later I maintain this relationship because he's an amazing guy who deserves happiness and who I want to make happy, and having him as a partner in life is wonderful. If this ends in something other than my death, I'll probably go back to not pursuing romantic relationships, because I view finding him akin to winning the lottery. Keep meeting new people o…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/14 05:54 AM
1

Blue Pill: Metallica - Nothing else matters (how I believe most BPers imagine a good relationship) Red Pill: Diablo - Reptiles
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/14 02:39 PM
9

That sounds hilarious, can I have the citations for those studies please? All I found on a quick PubMed search was studies linking ED to the man's obesity.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/14 06:12 AM
6

Purely from the discussions (not really major news here), he seems most like a Nice Guy™. TRPers think of BPers as Nice Guys™. When TRPers describe their "beta" days, it's often as a Nice Guy™. When TRPers describe "beta" men, it's with Nice Guy™ traits. For most BPers (including myself), a Nice Guy™ is a TRPer in the making, part of the same spectrum of unpleasantness. Someone who is "othering" women and treating relationships as transactional or outright adversarial.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/14 08:29 AM
7

I'm not sure if I understand your question, but if I got it correctly, it's because we're a team, us against the world. To go along with your transaction model, compare it (poorly) to a business partnership. There are things you expect and are willing to do for a shared business that go way beyond what you'd expect from a BFF volunteering to help in their spare time. I'm a 50% partner in my husband's life, and he a 50% partner in mine; we rise or fall together. Of course if you don't see your ro…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/14 03:27 AM
3

I'm sure there's a nugget of truth in legit evolutionary psychology. We're still animals with instincts. I also believe the current "evopsych" consists chiefly of bad science, pseudoscience, armchair speculation and making excuses for personal failings. Additionally, I think using it for justifications and guides kind of misses the point, which IMHO should be to learn about those animal instincts to transcend them. To use another sci-fi metaphor, become a rogue AI, ignore our programming to purs…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/14 03:48 PM
5

Pardon me for chiming in here with my blue-pill-feminist opinions, but get an education and some job experience. Taking care of a grown man is not a full-time job. You do not have children yet. Prepare a plan B while you still can. A close relative of mine lost her husband to brain aneurysm and was left alone with young children. You do not want to risk that without any kind of fallback.
/r/RedPillWomen27/04/14 09:38 AM
3

Before the dementia hits? Of course I would stay with him. We're both well aware that one of us will have to die first and it may happen sooner than at the end of average life expectancy, so attitude checked there. Children have never been a major issue. After dementia? He knows that I will leave him if he stops being "himself"; this was brought on by an acquaintance having a stroke and their entire personality changing, but might also be applicable to dementia with its behavioral symptoms, I gu…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/14 10:58 AM
1

Basing a relationship on any one attribute is of course a bad idea, but sexual compatibility is IMHO one of the big ones. Along with fiscal habits, whether you want children, and how active/outgoing you are. Sure you can compromise and make arrangements, but you can't change your thoughts or the other in a major way, and it will likely just lead to resentment in the long run.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/03/14 04:08 AM
2

Continuing with the mismatched libidos theme that has been brought up by others: It's usually not "withholding sex" but genuinely not wanting sex. Women "allowing sex" in cases like that would be either lying there and be used as a masturbatory aid, or faking enthusiasm. I can't imagine the first being satisfactory and it is almost certain to build resentment; the second would be an outright lie, and building a relationship on lies is generally bad. Monogamous relationships between people with m…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/14 09:29 AM
2

You asked this to get a sense of where I'm coming from, so I'll answer with a non-objective story. One of my dearest friends had her first time with an asshole. She was a sheltered, naive, insecure freshman with a minor crush on an older student acquaintance. Eventually alcohol was involved. The usual story. I was her shoulder to cry on when he went on to ignore her (and later ridicule her and actively try to ruin her reputation). The lies and manipulation? All the things he said to her to make …
/r/PurplePillDebate14/03/14 09:37 AM
5

While I disagree with your point, I'll answer the "what if" anyway: It would still be wrong. Giving your car a shoddy do-over to be able to sell it is condemnable manipulation, even if nobody would buy it if you were honest. From what I understand of TRP, you'd be better off saying that there is no harmful intent, that your hypothetical hottie would genuinely be satisfied with choosing the hypothetical red pill man. That you're not putting on a show to get her to make a decision you know she'll …
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/14 03:14 PM
3

Which is what I was trying to address with the car accident comparison and the previous post. Thank you for the discussion, I think we've both made the points we set out to make and anything more would be just going about in circles and talking past each other.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/14 07:00 PM
5

Ah yes, the glories of single motherhood, the wealth and no societal scorn whatsoever. I think we just have to agree to disagree here.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/14 06:52 PM
4

Obviously agreed that communication = good (duh). Regarding consensual fatherhood, I think the point of the OP was trying to make is that you know there's a risk of pregnancy when you have sex. In consensual, honest sex, both parties accept the risk. When the pregnancy has begun and considering abortion - that's when we get back to the car crash analogy. Not having an abortion doesn't imply the mother wants the child - in fact, according to this source, the numbers of births reported as unwanted…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/14 06:48 PM
3

I tried to locate the source of this statistic, and found this survey. In it, 10.4% of men and 8.6% of women reported ever having an intimate partner who tried to induce a pregnancy that they did not want. Damn scary numbers, both of them, thanks for making me look it up. I don't think they can really be used to defend your position though, considering the difference is minor and thus women obviously need the protection against fraud as well. And that's still excluding the (in my educated guess,…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/14 06:06 PM
3

So we're in agreement in that, for example, when contraception fails and the woman has not specifically indicated that she will have an abortion in case of accidental pregnancy (so there can be no such understanding), it would be fair that the man assumes 50% of the responsibility?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/14 05:40 PM
3

So are you saying that a) the car example b) men needing to pay child support is not fair (as perceived by you), or is not practical?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/14 03:35 PM
5

If someone lies about contraception, sure. I wholeheartedly agree that's a scummy thing to do, whether it's lying about the pill or only pretending to put on a condom. What about when contraception fails? When both forget about it? I'm pretty certain most unintended pregnancy doesn't start with betrayal, though if you have statistics to the contrary, I'd love to see them.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/14 03:24 PM
3

Laws will never be perfect, so we shouldn't have laws?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/14 01:58 PM
7

So if one car doesn't need repair, that driver shouldn't pay anything, even though they are partly to blame for the accident? Ok, I guess; if that seems fair to you, then we have different notions of justice, but I respect your self-consistant view. Edit: Fixed a bunch of typos.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/14 01:05 PM
8

Sometimes choices fall on one party, even if both are responsible and both are affected. Women don't have the right to abort because the fetus is 50% their genetic material, but because it resides in their body. I've used this comparison before: Two cars crash, both drivers are at fault, one car needs repair. The owner of the damaged car chooses where to have it fixed, and the driver of the other car pays half of the actual cost, not half of the cheapest alternative. (Think brand shop compared t…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/14 06:34 AM
4

I just imagined this happening in my relationship... ...thanks for the chuckle. Yeah, no.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/14 12:07 AM
9

I think there are two issues at play: First, there is the scepticism of a person's current state based on their past. If someone has been promiscuous, or a cheater, or abuser, it's IMHO only natural to be sceptical of their current state of mind. If you have a history, you need to work to prove you've changed. And if you have a wide and casual sexual history, there's additionally the small risk of STDs that enters most peoples' minds. These, I believe, are pretty similar to men and women both wh…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/02/14 08:38 PM
5

Good point and agreed in general, but I fail to see how the distinction is relevant here?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/14 04:57 PM
12

Ability to consent to sex while drunk is, to me, pretty similar to being liable for contracts signed while drunk. Neither is always clear-cut, legal-or-ethics-wise. But if you meet a drunk person and buy their car/have sex with them without being absolutely 100% sure they'd want to sell it to/have sex with you while sober, you're an asshole. Intentionally getting someone drunk in order to manipulate them into selling their car/having sex with you should be illegal. Sorry for not answering your q…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/14 12:16 PM
1

One thing that really bothered me about my last LTR is that I would ask, and she would say that either nothing is wrong or that she's fine. I'm NOT going to pry it out of her. If she says nothing is wrong, then I am going to go about my day as if nothing is wrong. She is not allowed to bring it up the next day. She had her chance to tell me what's wrong. That's how I am unapologetic. This kind of reminds me of a chain email I got long ago, titled "manual to women about men" or something like tha…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/14 09:24 AM
5

I am absolutely attracted to confidence, and men that aren't afraid to express (and discuss!) their opinions and passions. Doormats and "grey people" are boring and unattractive. But dominance IMHO means something else entirely, and is fun in the bedroom but horrible outside of it. Using the relatively common "where to have dinner" example [1]: Insecure: "Would you like to eat out tonight? Yes? Where would you like to go?" Reaction: You want to eat out, you suggest something. Can't you have an o…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/14 08:01 AM
7

Married for 10 years this year. Together for 15? 16? Something like that. Blue as they go.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/01/14 09:14 AM
2

The opposite of "wearing the pants" when defined like this would then be... has no opinions on matters that affect him can't call the repairman sexually passive (?) expects to be driven about doesn't have her back Sounds horrible in a partner of either gender, really.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/01/14 07:52 AM
2

I'd love to hear how RP relationships solve big disagreements, such as: You are buying a house. After months of looking and realizing you'll never find something that's perfect, you still disagree on the best candidate. Maybe there's more debt than she's comfortable with, or she is doesn't like the neighborhood, or she feels the renovation is underbudgeted. He thinks it's a steal and you should grab it while you can. Your child is having problems at school. You disagree as to the cause; maybe he…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/01/14 07:26 AM
1

Giving/exchanging gifts is one of those things that are different to each couple, and eventually most grow to think their way is superior. My partner and I straight up tell each other what we'd like for christmas/birthdays, often shop for those gifts together, and don't bother gift-wrapping or waiting until the day to give them. It's an excuse to get ourselves something nice and treat the other at the same time. I have no idea if RPers think this kind of gift-giving would be alpha, beta, neither…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/12/13 01:14 PM
5

From how I read it, nobody is saying Bill raped Amanda, but the college has a policy against whiny douches and is completely within its rights to distance itself from such people (ie. expel them), provided the rules have been made clear in advance.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/13 05:32 AM
2

That's one possible reason for a girl to say something like that, right there. She may have got a vibe that the guy was trying to make her feel indebted in the hopes of something sexual later, and tried to tell him to stop wasting his money.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/13 03:41 PM
2

Can they though? At least Wikipedia says that child support doesn't look at parents' genders. So, after the child is born: Both biological parents want to be parents -> Ideal. Neither biological parent wants to be a parent -> Adoption. One wants to be a parent, one doesn't -> Child support. At least that's how it should be ideally. IMHO the rights of the biological fathers wanting to be parents to their children should be stronger than they currently are in practice, but that has nothing to do w…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/09/13 01:12 PM
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