~ archived since 2018 ~
~ archived since 2018 ~
| Upvotes | Title | Category | Author | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
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| Upvotes | Comment on | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
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| 0 | Maybe Divorce Made Me a Chauvinist100% of women are sociopaths. Some are better at hiding it than others. “Whores” has nothing to do with it. Women are incapable of empathy or any other actual emotion. Some cheat, some don’t, but they’d all leave you dead in a ditch if it was profitable or would benefit their social standing. | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/03/26 07:57 PM |
| 8 | Ex is saying I violated MSAApologizing for doing the right thing for the kids health will mean that next year at the checkup, he has to say "no" to the doctor's recommended care. Apologizing means you lose the disagreement before it even starts. This is the kind of thing OP needs to stand up for. | /r/Divorce_Men | 26/02/26 08:30 PM |
| 5 | Stuck in a Mediated Settlement Agreement (MSA) While My Spouse Violates It—What Can I Do?You fucked yourself giving up parenting time. The person with the kids makes the rules. Get your lawyer to fight that and take back the time with your kids. It’ll cost you a ton at this point, but you need to do it. | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/07/25 03:19 PM |
| 1 | 10 years post divorce - GAL added to caseThe right GAL will likely want to keep 50:50, and will see through mom’s bullshit. But it’ll cost you thousands to hire them. The wrong GAL will come in and push an agenda, likely taking everything mom says as gospel. Lawyers are good at knowing which GAL is which. If mom’s lawyer is picking the GAL, expect it to be the kind that railroads you and lets mom write the recommendation. Have your lawyer figure out what’s going on, and if the judge insists on a GAL, make sure it’s one you pick, not he… | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/07/25 05:35 PM |
| 5 | Anyone else get financially wiped after divorce and have to start over? How did it go? I may have to as well. My situation is described.Go to court. It’s more expensive than mediation but at this dollar value it’s worth it. | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/05/25 10:17 PM |
| 1 | Hypergamy and Monkey-Branching in Family CourtDoesn’t matter. Only thing that matters are W2’s or 1099’s with her name on them. | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/04/25 10:23 PM |
| 1 | Hypergamy and Monkey-Branching in Family CourtCourts everywhere have regularly decided that the income of the new *spouse* does not impact custody or support orders. And that's if the kids mom re-marries, not just if she was cheating. You'll get nowhere with intentions and hopes here. It's your income vs. her income, into a state provided formula. Custody is more wishy-washy, but honestly the less blamey you come off, the more likely you are to get more custody. If you keep trying to re-litigate the breakdown of the marriage in court, the j… | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/03/25 05:57 PM |
| 1 | Hypergamy and Monkey-Branching in Family CourtI'm not aware of any US state that doesn't allow parties to file an at-fault divorce, even though no-fault divorce is available. At-fault typically requires a trial, and legal proof of wrongdoing. But if you have the funds to support a trial, and the proof to win it, by all means do it. Most lawyers will wave you off because no-fault is cheaper and, outside of extreme circumstances, will give you mostly the same outcome. | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/03/25 05:54 PM |
| 2 | Well, well, well.Look at the statistics of the prison population. The highest represented group is people raised by single mothers. The lowest represented group is people raised by single fathers. Women are much more likely to abuse children. Single mothers even more so - there's no man in the house to protect the kids. When my kids visit their mother, I'm not worried about what her boyfriend might do to them. I'm worried about what she is doing to them. I'm glad he's there as someone to keep her from going craz… | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/03/25 03:18 PM |
| 8 | Well, well, well.This kind of sexist nonsense definitely doesn't belong in this group. Women and step-mothers are substantially more likely to abuse children than men and step-fathers. The mis-characterization of men as predators is misinformation that you're parroting and it just keeps supporting the cause of separating kids from their fathers. | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/03/25 02:44 PM |
| 3 | What do you pay for child support?That sounds like the lawyer ran the “mom has full custody” numbers and sent them over. If OP’s lawyer really is trash, the other lawyer can walk all over them. FWIW, I have 3 kids 50%, my ex makes about $20k less than I do, and I pay $285/month plus I cover insurance. | /r/Divorce_Men | 26/02/25 11:30 PM |
| 5 | Rebuilding your wealth as fast as possibleFirst off, your premise is bullshit. No one ever benefits from spending time with their mother. Women are universally, biologically, sociopaths. It’s not a safe place for children to be. Kids raised by single mothers have a massively higher risk of ending up in prison or homeless than children raised by single fathers. Children of single fathers do better than those raised in 2 parent households. So, it’s imperative that the children live with you. 50% is the bare minimum. 100% is optimal. Get t… | /r/Divorce_Men | 14/10/24 05:40 PM |
| 26 | Wife 45/F caught sexting then locked me up 45/M then had an affaire while kids were taken awayInfidelity doesn’t matter at all in court. Just drop it and move on. You need to get a lawyer and start filing to have the kids returned to you at your home asap. The clock is ticking on your wife getting the kids residence changed to her new state. At 6 months, you’ve lost and you’ll be fighting in those courts, not yours. Do not attempt to play fair and do the right thing. File for full custody. She will be doing the same, and if you try to file for 50:50, you will end up with minority custody… | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/09/24 06:33 AM |
| – | There's victim blaming everywhere I goI’m not sure what women feel. It’s all a mask. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 23/06/24 02:20 AM |
| 36 | There's victim blaming everywhere I goWomen cannot be part of the solution. The problem is that men have walked or been pushed away from all the male support structures that used to exist. Men are left to be servants and investments for women to extract value from. Men need to support their sons, their brothers, their friends. They need to reach out and help one another break free of women who dictate our lives. Men need to be comfortable in solitude without searching for women to fill our time with. We need to trust that we can spe… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 23/06/24 02:18 AM |
| – | There's victim blaming everywhere I goThey really don’t. They care about what men can provide for them. How they can use men to get what they want. They pretend to care, but then abuse. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 23/06/24 01:52 AM |
| 2 | Can she come back for alimony at a later date?Child support is alterable to guidelines at any point if her financial status changes, so that's where she'll get you. 50/50 custody doesn't mean no child support. I have 50/50 custody and still pay my ex roughly half the difference between our salaries every week because that's the way guidelines in MA work. 50/50 means each household has the same amount of money from the total "family income." (Not actually, because I pay her and also pay taxes on what I make, so she ends up with more money) | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/02/24 10:21 PM |
| 5 | Higher earner afraid of losing big in divorceMy ex worked for the 14 years we were together, as a software developer in a high COL area, never making more than $55K/year. She had a better degree than me, a security clearance, and was in a higher paying field, but I was always responsible for paying all the bills, so the entire time we were together, I earned 3x what she did. We divorced and I was paying her a ton of money in support. Within a year of our divorce she tripled her salary and is now making the same money I do. 3 years later we… | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/12/23 08:42 PM |
| 4 | Am I supposed to insure their new life?Seems like you should list the home for sale and evict the non-owners from the premises. Or let it go to foreclosure and let the bank do it. Either way, stop paying for a house you’re not living in. | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/12/23 12:05 PM |
| 10 | Wife has my 4 children kidnapped, it's been 2 weeks and i still have no clue of their whereabouts....If you have a computer that can go online, you can get a phone number from Google voice for free and start making calls. It will have a voicemail box and a local number, and you can make outbound and receive inbound calls on it. So do that and call for jobs. Voice.google.com You’re going to have a lot of excuses and reasons why you have to only work jobs with your union, but you’re 2 months from being homeless right now. Fix that. The court isn’t going to consider giving you parenting time if yo… | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/12/23 01:00 PM |
| 13 | Wife has my 4 children kidnapped, it's been 2 weeks and i still have no clue of their whereabouts....Yes, without a custody order, either of you have the right to take the children wherever you want, without the other’s consent. Unfortunately, you’ll need to act quickly and decisively here. The clock has started on her case to relocate the kids and sideline you as a parent. For now, they are still legal residents of where they lived with you. You have 6 months from when they moved out to get in front of a judge and get a custody order in place. That sounds like a lot of time, but it’s not a lot… | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/12/23 11:45 AM |
| 40 | Why do women complicate their lives so much?Yes. It's always all busy work. My kids go to her house and they're doing chores constantly, cleaning, yard work, then constant activities that only she finds interesting. They come to my house and the house is already clean, the yard work is purposely minimal and not their job, and we do a small number of activities that are focused on them. Otherwise they get to do their hobbies, spend time with their friends, and relax. 50/50 time in both houses, but my house is just more relaxed for everyone… | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/12/23 09:43 PM |
| 21 | Wife divorce (update)Let her stay where she is. Cancel the cards, empty the bank accounts, and change the locks. Talk to a lawyer ASAP and file first. | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/11/23 11:37 PM |
| 17 | I saw a post on this sub and it seems like a lot of you only put women downVery, very few men initiate a divorce due to lack of sex. Most of the experiences on this sub are men whose ex-wives have cheated on them repeatedly, or left them for someone else. Complements don’t help, and more often than not, it hurts the marriage significantly. Men who constantly compliment their wives are portrayed by women as annoying or pathetic. The truth is that almost all women plan the divorce before the wedding. Divorce is the goal. It’s how women “cash out” of a relationship. Once … | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/11/23 11:01 PM |
| 3 | [NJ] Parenting time: is my argument weak ?If the judge says they can't rule on it without a trial, you might be stuck. I'm not sure what the scope and credentials of the expert report is, but have you considered getting a GAL in? The GAL will talk to the kids, both parents, teachers, doctors, etc, and make a recommendation. If both you and your ex agree, you can file a motion to appoint a GAL more quickly than going to trial. The GAL's report won't necessarily change the parenting time, but it might give the Judge more confidence to app… | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/11/23 08:01 PM |
| 3 | Am I overthinking the consequences of getting married?The tax benefits are substantial, though. Being single after filing as married for most of my life, I’m paying an extra $30k/year in taxes compared to when I was married. So, there are benefits, but being married certainly cost me more than I saved in taxes. It seems like a good deal at first, but you basically put your life in the hands of a sociopath to get that. | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/11/23 04:00 PM |
| 0 | STBXW claims I am going to owe her tons in divorce.. what is the reality in a 50/50 stateIf she’s earning $100k on her own, she’s probably not eligible for alimony. She doesn’t need the money to survive. Split assets, retirement and pension 50/50 and you both walk away. | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/11/23 01:23 PM |
| 2 | "How a Weekend Trip Unveiled the Cracks in Our Marriage"Yes, as a married couple all your assets and debts are shared, no matter whose name is on the account. | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/11/23 12:51 AM |
| 3 | "How a Weekend Trip Unveiled the Cracks in Our Marriage"Don't focus too hard on the why. It's not important legally, and in the end it's not really worth it personally. No court cares about infidelity unless there's a prenup and even then, it can get thrown out. If you don't have kids, it's probably best that you just split assets/debts down the middle and move on. There's a possibility that you're entitled to some spousal support - especially if she's initiating the divorce and you're out of work due to an industry-wide strike. Keep in mind those cr… | /r/Divorce_Men | 07/11/23 07:02 PM |
| 5 | Why are we telling men to wait a year before dating?Women are controlling and manipulative and will take advantage of a guy freshly on their own, to the man's detriment. It's important that men, especially men with children, build a new routine that prioritizes themselves and the children. Going from one woman's control to another's will result in a guy losing time with their kids and losing money. | /r/Divorce_Men | 19/10/23 05:50 PM |
| 1 | Your salary after separationIf they're only separated, they probably haven't gone through financial disclosures yet. When they get to court, the court will want paystubs, which will be used to calculate salary and bonuses. Once you're done with the divorce those things aren't brought back up unless someone files for a modification, but at this stage he probably is going to need to disclose what his current income is. | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/08/23 08:04 PM |
| 1 | "Real" Cost of AlimonyAt least with assets accumulated or spent during the marriage, you were aware and actively choosing to remain in the marriage. That's what you signed up for. You should be able to "cancel" at any point and just walk away from having to support another adult, though. Alimony is just unnecessary punishment for previous poor decisions. | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/08/23 05:43 PM |
| 1 | "Real" Cost of Alimonyit's insane that one adult can be legally required to support another adult's living expenses for any amount of time. Split the assets obtained as part of the marriage, and then each person should be allowed to go on their way. | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/08/23 05:08 PM |
| 2 | "Real" Cost of Alimonyit's insane that one adult can be legally required to support another adult's living expenses for any amount of time. Split the assets obtained as part of the marriage, and then each person should be allowed to go on their way. | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/08/23 05:08 PM |
| 9 | "Real" Cost of AlimonyMy ex cheated and was only out of work for a couple of years when we were married, so alimony wasn’t even on the table. But jesus, how is someone supposed to survive while paying 40% of their gross income to another person?! So taxes and health insurance takes 40%, then she takes another 40%, and you’re left with 20% to live on? Your gross is $220k and you’re left with $45/year? That’s barely above minimum wage. As others have said, if you don’t have kids, just leave the country. | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/08/23 12:22 AM |
| 8 | I won my OFP dismissal!Family court lawyers all know each other and send each other work. They do their best to keep that relationship positive. Judges are also part of this culture. The result is that even if one lawyer is playing dirty and filing unnecessary or delaying motions, none of the other lawyers will call them on it. Good on you for finding a lawyer outside the system. TBH, I didn’t even know lawyers could be personally sanctioned for misconduct before reading your post - my lawyer told me I had no recourse… | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/08/23 10:17 AM |
| 1 | Well, it's "Go Time" Fellas!!My GAL was picked by me and my ex’s lawyer. The judge had no input. He spent probably 20 hours talking to people in my kids life. Teachers, doctors, family, the kids, etc. I met with him for 3 hours over two seasons. The kids each met for 1 hour. He testified on my behalf for 3 1/2 hours in court. | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/07/23 02:48 AM |
| 12 | What’s the deal with mandatory attorney fees for STBXWs?I didn’t pay my ex’s attorney’s fees. Her lawyer never even asked, and the idea of alimony was never suggested. However, her and her attorney filed frivolous and unreasonable motions and demands around custody and we spent tens of thousands of dollars in court only for her to lose every single motion and basically the whole case. I asked for her to pay my fees but wasn’t reimbursed, even though the judge scolded her for wasting so much money on something that she was obviously going to lose. | /r/Divorce_Men | 26/07/23 11:50 AM |
| 3 | Well, it's "Go Time" Fellas!!Judges tend to go with the GAL report recommendations - GAL is essentially a court officer and has spent dozens of hours interviewing you, the kids, family, doctors, schools, etc. The judge isn't going to get that amount of time with your case. Go over your testimony with your lawyer. Be ready for your ex's lawyer to try to push your buttons or to get you angry. Be calm and remember that you're not going to win an argument with them, and being angry counts against you in the judge's eyes. Then, … | /r/Divorce_Men | 26/07/23 12:40 AM |
| 3 | Let's be honest here. No macho answers, and no judgement. In reality, how many guys here would be happy to get validation from your ex that the divorce was not your fault?My ex never admitted fault for anything in her entire life. The 13 years we were married, she never once said the words "I'm sorry." She does, however, emotionally manipulate everyone she encounters with fake crying, playing the victim, and lying. So if my ex ever once admitted that she was at fault for the divorce because of her multiple affairs and violence, I would assume she was up to something. | /r/Divorce_Men | 19/07/23 05:42 PM |
| 5 | Retirement accountsIf you have more invested than her, it makes sense for her to drag her feet because she is likely to get more from your accounts because of market growth. For some reason, many retirement fund administrators don’t do divorce splits correctly and split the account on the day the request lands on their desk. I had to push pretty hard for mine to split based on the date of the divorce, and not several months later when my ex finally got her paperwork in. | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/07/23 06:15 PM |
| 1 | Wife is divorcing me and moving overseas w kids (2M and 4M)You’re making a mistake letting her leave the country with your kids. I understand you’re feeling pretty down right now. It sounds like your stbxw is controlling and probably pretty abusive, and it takes years to undo that kind of trauma. But those are your kids and you’re their whole life. How were you “tapping into her finances” if you’re married and a stay at home parent? That’s your money, you have every right to access it. What you’re describing is financial abuse, by her. If she relocates … | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/07/23 12:29 AM |
| 6 | Why do people get married in 2023 when the divorce rate is so high?Having kids out of marriage sets you up for the exact same problems as getting married, except you’re fighting more of an up hill battle to get custody. | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/06/23 10:14 AM |
| 28 | Is it true that fathers rarely apply for custody and if they do , they usually get it?You’re all over this topic but you’re clearly have no actual experience in family court. 1) visitation rights are completely unrelated to child support or alimony payments. Parents cannot legally withhold child visitation due to the support payor being behind in payments. 2) resolved outside of court doesn’t mean the parties were in agreement, just that they never pleaded their case before a judge. Court is expensive. $80k in my case to win joint custody of my kids. And since my ex knew she was … | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 02/06/23 01:03 AM |
| 10 | Let's play a gameI’ve been fighting for time with my kids since my wife asked for an open marriage in 2017 and I opted for a divorce. It took me 5 years to even get into a courtroom and that whole time I had less time without my kids because that is the default in my state. When I did get to a courtroom, I won equal custody, which is what I was asking for all along. It took me over $80,000 in lawyer bills, which is a debt I won’t finish paying off until my kids are in college. My ex barely had a lawyer and didn’… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 01/06/23 01:16 PM |
| 6 | Question for the peeps in this sub: Do you want the bonding nature of men to change for the better or should we respect the way most men socialize, but encourage more “bromance” culture?Men bond fine, but women invade or remove spaces that men traditionally have used for bonding. When women are present, men have difficulty communicating or being vulnerable because women take those spaces or interrupt continuously. There aren’t many socially acceptable male only spaces left. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 25/05/23 12:53 AM |
| 18 | The "male housework list" or "honey do list" (the second shift) | Sources from Dr. Warren FarrellMy experience is that women and men approach responsibilities differently. Men will typically do everything they feel needs to be done, themselves. I’ve never heard of a man asking a woman to run an errand or clean something or cook a meal if the man feels it needs to be done. They’ll just do it. Meanwhile, women typically delegate first. Then they complain. Then they badger. Then they might do it themselves. I’ve never met or heard of a woman who would lift a finger if it wasn’t the absolute la… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 22/05/23 02:25 AM |
| 2 | need help. I found the text messages and I don’t know what to do.This is bad advice. How you conduct yourself from now on matters. You will be held to a different standard than her. You cannot get mad. If you get mad, you will look unstable and it will affect your custody case, which is, at this point, the only thing that should matter in the whole world. You can be mad, but don't air your anger all over the place. Don't get angry with her. Words matter, too. Angry, non-threatening words were used against me repeatedly in court. Unless you can get her to walk… | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/05/23 08:56 PM |
| 7 | Everywhere I lookDivorce is all part of the plan for women. Women are not emotionally fulfilled by monogamy and they know it, so they get the marriage done, secure the paycheck, and then move on. Most women plan the divorce the moment they meet a guy , if not well before. | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/04/23 04:52 PM |
| 1 | Traditional house chores done by menWhen I divorced my ex wife, I ended up owing her more in monthly payments than it cost to just leave it alone. It ruined me financially. "Cheaper to keep her" as the saying goes. My current girlfriend is going to school full time, and I don't want to see her and her daughter out on the street. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 04/03/23 09:41 PM |
| 1 | Traditional house chores done by menHere are the things that I’ve always been 100% responsible for in every cohabitating relationship: Cooking all meals, washing dishes and meal cleanup, grocery shopping, feeding pets, cleaning up after pets (litter boxes, outdoor poop scooping), child transportation to school and extracurriculars, packing kids school lunches/snacks, child bed time routines, weekend child activities outside of the house so mom can get a break, computer/internet/TV maintenance for everyone in the family, household … | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 04/03/23 04:52 PM |
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