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Electronic-Zucchini9 Archive

View 0 posts and 343 comments by Electronic-Zucchini9 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
1

Makes sense to me
/r/PurplePillDebate10/12/23 05:01 AM
2

I don’t disagree, just thought you were painting an overly rosy picture of women’s mental health in that last comment. Everyone is struggling.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/12/23 04:20 AM
2

t's like, do you know why so many people from America are going down in woods with their new age spirituality, making a tiny house, and living a 'peaceful, mindful life' with their hydroponics system and solar power panels? Making their own barn and farm and then they say they're "working hard" farming and raising the chickens and cows. That's such a tiny sliver of the American population that I don't see how you can draw any wider conclusions from it.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/12/23 01:29 AM
3

According to the multiple peer-reviewed studies mentioned by the NIH, women also show higher rates of neuroticism, anxiety, and low self-esteem. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3149680/
/r/PurplePillDebate10/12/23 01:24 AM
2

Because almost none of the rules in this sub are followed. Imagine how much better it would be if rules 7 and 8 were actually followed here?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/11/23 05:07 AM
1

The person I responded to wasn’t. “Women know men only care about sex so that’s why women lack empathy.” This comments under this post are full of women making blanket statements about men, not the one man who wrote this post.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/11/23 04:07 PM
-1

1 man on Reddit said it, guess we know all we need to about 4 billion men.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/11/23 01:39 PM
0

It’s not valid, because it’s obviously untrue. Anyone who isn’t a complete misanthrope knows women who have other values besides just money. I think you’re expressing a lot of common attitudes here. That every opinion is valid and anyone can decide what’s true based on whatever examples they choose to focus on. That’s just blatant stupidity. Think I’m done slumming it here this morning.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/11/23 03:51 PM
-3

They’re mascots because they’re the worst people intentionally selected by others to represent the whole. Their opinions are THEIR opinions, they don’t have a lock on half the world’s population. This mascoting move is common online, and it’s a predictable way that people reinforce their biases. Should I let /r/MarryRich convince me that the only thing women care about is money?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/11/23 03:42 PM
6

Who’s angry? I’m just procrastinating here, slumming it in a forum that’s full of vapid ideas and knee-jerk hot takes. I’ve written posts and comments about how men in this sub generalize and wallow too often, but of course you want to redirect the conversation.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/11/23 03:34 PM
3

You’re still the one describing compassion for others as work. I feel sorry for anyone who’s close to you.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/11/23 03:31 PM
–

I can find idiots with any opinion I want to make into mascots for an entire demographic. That says nothing.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/11/23 03:28 PM
2

Try reading my previous comment again, slowly if you have to.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/11/23 03:26 PM
5

You give pop culture and social media the final word on mental health issues? That seems vapid. Regardless of what your social media feed tells you, male loneliness is a real issue that social scientists have documented to the nth degree. Any mental health professional will tell you that it’s about more than just getting laid.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/11/23 03:25 PM
5

I just started working a side hustle delivering DoorDash so I can keep my mom out of a nursing home. I’ve spent so much time in emergency rooms with a friend who has a chronic illness that the nurses know me by name. I have hobbies most women don’t care about or actively mock, like tabletop wargaming. I’m learning Doric Greek on my own time because I want to, and I doubt there’s much ROI on that in the sexual marketplace. I’m also renovating an old house so it’s livable for me, not some hypothet…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/11/23 03:21 PM
6

And yet, we never hear that expression applied when it’s a woman who’s suffering. Compassion gets described as “labor” when it applies to men.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/11/23 03:14 PM
2

That’s ludicrously facile. Compassion isn’t a task like carrying a bag of groceries, it’s an automatic response from anyone with an ounce of humanity in them.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/11/23 03:11 PM
5

Somehow, compassion and empathy for other women never gets that label.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/11/23 03:03 PM
16

This is a good take.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/11/23 03:02 PM
11

It isn’t. There have been tons of books, articles, and academic papers written about how too many men lack any close friendships, either with men or other women. If you didn’t know that then you’re just not interested. Not to mention that this sub is about relationships between men and women, so of course that’s going to be the slant here.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/11/23 03:00 PM
4

Maybe if you’re under 22, otherwise I would consider the possibility that the men you’ve decided to spend your time with don’t trust you well enough to open up to. Given the blatant stereotyping you’re dropping here, that would be no surprise.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/11/23 02:58 PM
2

This is dehumanizing and ignorant. There’s not a single emotion you’ve ever felt that men are incapable of feeling also. Have you not read any works of literature written by a man? Or do you honestly believe male depression can be cured by a quick lay? Your take here shows you’re just as shallow as the cartoon image of men that you have in your head.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/11/23 02:55 PM
5

The biggest yikes is selectively redefining simple compassion as “emotional labor”.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/11/23 02:49 PM
10

Your stereotyping and reductive bullshit is only proving OP’s point. Most men care about more than just sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/11/23 02:46 PM
3

If you’re one of the group who don’t obsess over women, then why give a shit what they think? This is what makes MGTOW so funny to me. Men who so loudly proclaim they’re not making women a priority in their lives, who also can’t ever seem to shut up about women’s opinions.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/11/23 12:55 PM
–

Act what way? He’s not describing anything that women online don’t also say daily. And a message like “the good ones are never single” has been a constant complaint since forever.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/23 10:09 AM
2

Imagine being stuck on something as trivial as dialect.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/23 07:17 AM
7

The only positive note I can see is that more people are getting sick of dating apps.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/23 12:31 AM
–

Neither do you.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/10/23 05:04 PM
–

Way too many absolute statements here. Like most of what gets posted in this sub.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/10/23 05:04 PM
2

I think this only holds true for perpetually horny 20 year olds. When a man is over 30 or when he already has his sexual needs met, he stops thinking with his dick all the time. I have several female friends who are conventionally attractive, and I don’t think about having sex with them. Other than that, you’re making too many absolute statements about too large a number of people.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/10/23 04:52 PM
1

What part of life isn't a performance, though? The only people anyone can expect to appreciate them unconditionally are their parents - and even that isn't a guarantee.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/23 08:30 PM
1

I am, too. If you're only willing to make generalizing statements about women but not men, then it seems like you're only interested in how half of the world is. Also, this is pointing fingers: Women don’t have to bring their best selfs to the date tho
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/23 08:27 PM
1

Ok, but if you’re going to make a generalizing statement about how women behave on dates, it only makes sense to look at how they’re able to get away with it. If men were more picky about women’s lack of engagement or effort on dates then women would be incentivized to try harder.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/23 05:57 PM
2

Then whose fault is that? Maybe if men were more selective we’d all be on a more even footing.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/23 03:35 PM
1

I learned that mods here won’t lift a finger to enforce some of this sub’s rules (especially 9 and 10)
/r/PurplePillDebate09/10/23 03:19 PM
–

“Not all men” is accurate, and it wouldn’t need to be said if women didn’t make generalizing statements linking half the population to assault, rape, and murder. A vast majority of men aren’t guilty of these things, yet somehow pointing that out is a problem.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/23 02:42 PM
5

For a majority of Americans, willingness is irrelevant.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/23 06:06 AM
11

Forget whatever chip you have on your shoulder for a second. Most people - men and women both - can't afford therapy—even those who can often can't find a therapist taking on new clients. Maybe you don't know this, but there's been a nationwide shortage of therapists in the US since 2020. That's reality.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/23 05:02 AM
8

You're free to read statistics So are you. "Neuroticism describes the tendency to experience negative emotion and related processes in response to perceived threat and punishment; these include anxiety, depression, anger, self-consciousness, and emotional lability. Women have been found to score higher than men on Neuroticism as measured at the Big Five trait level, as well as on most facets of Neuroticism included in a common measure of the Big Five, the NEO-PI-R (Costa et al., 2001). Additiona…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/23 04:48 AM
16

Therapy exists. Use it? The average cost for therapy is $100-200 an hour. You might as well just give useful advice like "be rich."
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/23 04:47 AM
1

No one’s stopping you from being a self-centered prick who can’t be arsed to do something as simple as send a text letting someone know that you don’t want to take things any further. That costs nothing but a few seconds of your time. That mentality won’t serve you or the people around you.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/23 11:04 PM
1

It’s ancient history, but thanks anyway
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/23 11:00 PM
1

“Next time” Ok, the next time I’m 19 I’ll take your advice into consideration. Be less stupid.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/23 10:59 PM
12

This is an overstatement. I have several close friendships with women, and I'm not attracted to them.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/23 09:23 PM
1

Yes, after a first date. That's just basic etiquette. If you don't see a problem with that, then this is beyond any redditor's ability to correct you. I need y’all to apply that same logic to women who do so and also say they were uncomfortable Who said I don't? I do. Ghosting is tacky, classless behavior no matter who does it. Be a man and have some class.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/23 09:13 PM
1

I've read it and have it on my shelf; thanks for reminding me of it.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/23 08:26 PM
2

I hear you, and too many stories like this are why I've learned to hold back emotionally from women. Or really from anyone other than my parents. This mismatch between what women say they want in relationships and how they respond is so massive that I've lost any trust I had to begin with.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/23 08:08 PM
3

Absolutely neither. This is a false dilemma. I'd rather treat a woman like an equal; neither denigrating nor putting her on a pedestal.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/23 08:04 PM
2

Punishing individuals for what other people have done is objectively shitty behavior. It's not hard to tell someone you don't want to date them anymore, it's just a minor inconvenience.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/23 07:58 PM
2

That's fucked. If a man can't cry about losing a parent, then he cannot show any amount of vulnerability. Sorry you had to go through that.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/23 07:57 PM
1

*Brene Brown - only correcting so people find it easier to find her work, because she's a great author.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/23 07:56 PM
1

I've been through diversity training in several companies that included men needing to be more accepting that women would cry at work, and it was okay. It's not OK. If men have to emotionally self-regulate in a workplace setting, then women should too. Do we want equality, or do we not?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/23 07:54 PM
–

Sure, she's totally blameless. I shouldn't have forced her to fuck 3 dudes I knew while I was in boot camp and sell all my shit - real blunder on my part. Totally my fault. /s
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/23 07:49 PM
0

Men are routinely told by women to "be better." Women respond to conversations about men's normal dating frustrations by quoting SA statistics as if any more than a small minority of men are guilty of SA. You don't like being judged by an immutable trait or treated like you're nothing but a single member of a collective? Welcome to the club, sis.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/23 07:39 PM
–

I've seen this first-hand. I was engaged to a woman, and we made plans to get married and build a life together. I was committed to that promise enough to enlist in the military so that we could both get degrees. She would get free housing, free everything while she got her degree first, and then I would use the GI Bill to get mine. She cheated on me only two weeks into boot camp. I found out when she told me on a weekly 10-minute phone call, and she wasn't even sorry. When I got out of basic tr…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/23 07:31 PM
–

I don’t think it’s always about compliments, a lot of men just want to be seen. That’s not a man thing, that’s a human thing. Loneliness is painful for anyone, and men are much more likely to have no close friends. https://www.americansurveycenter.org/why-mens-social-circles-are-shrinking/
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/23 05:36 PM
14

I see WAY more red pill content in this sub, what are you smoking? It’s bad enough that I don’t know what the point of this sub is. I was looking for a place where I could hear contradicting opinions backed up by at least some reasoning. It’s hard to get that when we just get the same complaints from frustrated men over and over again. And I say this as a man who’s very frustrated with modern dating.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/23 05:27 PM
1

Funny how poor behavior gets that excuse when it’s coming from a woman, but never a man. If a man is shitty to other people because he “feels antagonized”, that’s no excuse at all. Strong “men bad, women good” vibes here. Typical.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/23 05:23 PM
1

I’m learning that women in this sub and others like it almost always end things with a bad faith argument or a cheap insult
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/23 06:41 AM
2

Never said anything about a man’s need to swipe right under pain of execution. Good Lord, are you actually reading my words? I just said pickiness is a losing strategy for men on OLD, because it is. That’s not a moral issue, it’s a statistical reality given the drastic mismatch between male and female profile counts.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/23 04:12 AM
3

Yeah, a lot of women turn homophobic real quick as soon as a man declines sex. The only times I’ve been called f*g since high school were from women I said no to. It’s absurd how rarely this ever gets mentioned.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/23 04:09 AM
1

I’ve said nothing about anger. The farthest I’d go is to ignore any woman who tells me I’m lucky she’s willing to talk to me. That’s not anger, it’s indifference. If you have a problem with that, then you’re essentially asking men to grovel before a woman simply because she’s pretty. Hell no to that.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/23 04:06 AM
5

I’m not just speaking from my own experience. I’ve heard the same from friends, and that’s including women friends who complain to me about how their self-image is crushed when they were turned down for sex. I have some basic level of sympathy for the emotional turmoil they feel, but at the same time I want to tell them “this happens to men all the time”. Like, welcome to a man’s world, I’m sure you’re just visiting.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/23 12:20 AM
2

I’m ok with the idea of feeling grateful and fortunate in a relationship - but only if that’s reciprocated. If there’s an expectation that this gratitude ought to be one-sided, and that a woman is doing me a favor just to speak with me? Then my self-respect will win every time, no matter how attractive a woman might be. I’m allergic to encouraging self-entitled behavior, maybe more than most. Not just every man, but every person ought to slam the door on that kind of arrogance. Anything else onl…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/23 12:15 AM
2

I take your point about “next working day”, and I missed that. Men have to swipe yes on every profile because dating apps are 80% men. That fact alone ought to put women’s inflated egos in check on dating apps. The competition among men is through the roof. If you know that any woman you’re interested in has dozens of other options, then being picky is guaranteed to be a losing strategy. And I don’t think men expect women to be friendly and accommodating on OLD - far from it. If any man believes…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/23 12:11 AM
2

In that wall of text, you still never addressed my point. Any interaction - dating or otherwise - is a two-way street. If you want to bring gratitude into the picture, then where's the gratitude on a woman's part for having so many men who are interested enough to respond? You can say that women don't need men, and I'd agree with you. But this woman apparently does want a male partner; otherwise, she wouldn't be on OLD. As such, she's in no position to demand some kind of one-sided gratitude. Th…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/23 11:26 PM
–

Men play it cool in relationships because that's the behavior women choose to incentivize. I grew up believing in all the stereotypes about how women want men to be emotionally vulnerable and as verbally communicative as they are. Lived experience taught me that most women actually find these behaviors repulsive in a partner. You're here asking for men to be more affectionate. Meanwhile, women also tell us not to be clingy. Clinginess will drive a woman away faster than aloofness every time, esp…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/23 09:39 PM
–

What is it then?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/23 09:33 PM
2

Why does a man have to know how "lucky" he is for the "privilege" of getting to have a conversation with this woman? That's where the arrogance comes in. Why can't people just interact with other people they're attracted to without one party feeling uniquely privileged for the opportunity? Any kind of relationship is a two-way street, it shouldn't involve some asymmetrical gratefulness for the privilege of the other person's company. Any sane person would say that the ideal interaction is one wh…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/23 08:54 PM
7

Women's sexual entitlement while in relationships can get pretty insane, and it's almost never talked about. I think the fact that we never discuss it is part of the reason why. There are no guardrails on that behavior when it's a woman.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/23 08:38 PM
0

Easy. Why do you think people date at all? Or buy a house? Or start a new job? All of these things can end badly. Most people don’t require a 100% guarantee of success to pursue something when there’s a chance it will have a positive result. If that’s how you see the world, then you have my sympathy.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/23 08:28 PM
3

You strongly implied it. How is anyone “used” for engaging in a mutual activity they enjoy as much as the other person?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/23 08:15 PM
–

You may want to pursue women who feel likewise if physical fitness matters to you. A woman who cares about her health isn't going to want to spend every night with you on the couch eating ice cream. You might even find a relationship where you can call each other out if either of you is getting lazy and letting yourself go. A relationship where both parties hold each other accountable is great.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/23 07:58 PM
1

Good Lord. Does someone really need to tell you that women enjoy sex too? No one's being used.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/23 07:55 PM
1

As a 40-something man, I avoid interacting with women younger than 25 like the plague. I know what the zeitgeist is, and I hate how I would look to everyone else. The end result is that we chip away a little bit more at people's opportunity to connect with others. The dominant mentality seems to be, "Let's all be safe and alone."
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/23 07:38 PM
–

I grew up in the country, and I've also lived in big cities and suburbs. Big cities were the best places to meet people. When you live in the sticks and have a smaller dating pool, you're less likely to meet people who are compatible. That leads to more people settling for each other, which leads to bad relationships. I saw this first-hand with my high-school friend group. Those who got out of the small town we were from waited longer and had more relationships over time, before what look like h…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/23 07:35 PM
–

10-20% isn't a small minority, that's still millions of men. How often is a man going to be having sex when he knows it is always available? Um, men like sex. A lot. And the more sex men get, the more they want it.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/23 07:31 PM
10

What I find astounding is how different the response is when a woman reports not having enough sex In my experience, whenever women are turned down for sex, they often go into full-on emotional meltdowns. If a man is sexually entitled, it's a problem. If a woman is sexually entitled, well, we don't even talk about that. Sexual entitlement is shitty behavior, regardless of whether it's coming from a man or a woman. But as usual, the narrative gets reduced to "women good, men bad."
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/23 07:22 PM
–

Who talks in a library? I go to one 3-4 times a week and they’re intentionally quiet. People are there to read or study.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/23 03:59 PM
–

Do you say that to women with social anxiety? It sounds like you’re just reinforcing what OP said.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/23 03:53 PM
1

About your second paragraph - how could you possibly know?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/23 02:47 PM
1

I don’t disagree but isn’t this like 47 steps ahead? A man already has to have a lot going for him to get a girlfriend in the first place.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/09/23 02:15 PM
–

The left uses empty slogans at least as much as religious conservatives do. No reasoning, just endless repetition of belief, preferably simple enough to fit on a sticker. One more example of horseshoe theory in action.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/23 11:58 PM
4

I’m rewatching Boardwalk Empire right now and that is absolutely true. The man’s a beast.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/23 07:18 PM
–

This exactly. I wouldn’t even see a problem with the trans movement if it didn’t include this “trans men are men / trans women are women” aspect. Trans men are trans men. Trans women are trans women. Why can’t everyone just be ok with that? Instead it leads to absurdities like erasing women’s identity in concepts like “birthing people” instead of “mothers”.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/23 05:33 PM
1

How are outlier viewpoints helpful when they’re completely non-applicable to anyone else? Like I said, you’re the lottery winner giving advice on personal finance. No part of your experience applies to anything we’re talking about on the subject of dating.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/23 04:43 PM
–

I'm just noticing how much trans ideology leans hard into traditional gender roles. Like in the 90s and 2000s, it was becoming okay to be a boy or a young man and like more feminine things, or vice versa for girls and young women. But now? If a young man identifies more with female friends, doesn't feel competitive with the other men around him, or doesn't like traditionally male pursuits, then he says he "feels like a woman" and wants to transition - as if any of these things were intrinsically…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/23 10:23 AM
2

If we're talking about finding relationships, and you've only ever had to pass that hurdle once in your entire life, then yes. If this was a different conversation about how to have a healthy LTR once it's already gotten off the ground, then you'd have something relevant to add. You have to at least acknowledge that you're an extreme outlier. Most of the conversations in this sub, and this post in particular, are about the challenges around dating and finding a partner. How many men do you know …
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/23 06:05 AM
1

I didn't say anything about bumbling through life, but if your only dating experience was with one single woman, you're nowhere near qualified to speak on what it's like out there. Especially if you've been in a LTR for a long time - the dating scene now is so much worse than it was even 5 years ago. You're working from a sample size of 1, and you're doling out wisdom like you know how men in this sub should interact with women in general in 2023.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/23 05:40 AM
2

Because women give insanely mixed signals about what's too much attention and what isn't enough. Follow up too quickly after getting a woman's number, and he's too desperate and eager. Wait too long, and he's too indecisive. The only "games" that men play are the ones that women respond to. I think if you asked most men, they'd be the first to tell you that we'd all prefer a world where people were just honest and direct with each other. How do I know this is true? Because that's generally how m…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/23 05:35 AM
1

"I have a cruiser sailing class in Annapolis that weekend" I love that this is your go-to example for an attractive hobby that a man could have - something that only 1% of men could ever afford.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/23 05:31 AM
2

You've only had one relationship your entire life and you feel qualified to give other men advice? Jesus, dude, have some self-awareness.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/23 05:27 AM
1

https://www.reddit.com/r/thanksimcured/
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/23 05:20 AM
1

If all a woman does is show up, I’m not going to ask her out again. If women can “just show up” and be successful in dating then it’s on men to have higher standards.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/09/23 03:27 PM
1

People can have different preferences and priorities than you. Shocking, I know.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/09/23 12:44 PM
5

To your latter point, putting the needs of others before one’s own is precisely why humanity has survived this long. If we were evolved to focus solely on our own self-interest then civilization never would have gotten off the ground. We might not even have language without it. From another lens, look at how people respond to natural disasters. In most cases, regardless of culture, people volunteer to help each other. This is adaptive because we aren’t geared to survive outside of a community. U…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/09/23 10:22 PM
13

I mean if that’s your angle, then single men don’t exist at all without women. Does that mean women should be treated like princesses who can do no wrong? Absolutely not. But if you want to make an argument about how women offer nothing to the collective, you can’t overlook pregnancy, nursing, and being a primary source of childcare. Not to mention their own contributions to the economy and daily life. I’m not sure if you’ve noticed, but women can be doctors and engineers now too, and many are. …
/r/PurplePillDebate24/09/23 10:15 PM
31

Modern society coddles women. This allows women to choose to be "alone". Men are still providing her with shelter, clean water, electricity, air conditioning, machines to wash her clothes, etc. Most men aren't building their own houses, running water treatment plants, working in washing machine factories, etc. Everything you just said about women also applies to 99% of men.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/09/23 05:52 PM
1

In that case, I fit your description perfectly. I gave up on women ever finding me attractive about 10 years ago, and nothing I do is pandering to them. I have no fear because I have no hope. So doing my thing is obviously not good enough.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/09/23 05:43 PM
2

On getting rich: I just gave up a high-paying career that made me very comfortable for something I care about more - reforming healthcare in the US so more people can access the care they need. I'll end up making $75-80K with a master's degree, and if that's not rich enough to attract women, then they can go fuck themselves. I'm not sacrificing my values to win their favor. On getting fit: I'm 47, 5'7", and have no face worth looking at. I can get more fit, but that'll only go so far.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/09/23 05:39 PM
30

Having a DGAF attitude about people who don't really matter just sounds like being an asshole. I treat people with a baseline level of respect until they give me cause to do otherwise, and it sucks that our culture denigrates that with labels like Mr. Nice Guy. I tried on that DGAF persona in my 20s just because I heard it worked to attract women, and depressingly enough, it did. Sorry, I'm not going out of my way to be more rude, condescending, narcissistic, and callous than I actually am just …
/r/PurplePillDebate24/09/23 05:33 PM
3

"Just become what women want and then it's pretty easy" WTF does that even mean? Why bother saying anything? I can't change my face or my height. I've been upper middle-class in my 30s and broke in my 20s, and I honestly did better when I had less money, so that isn't the answer either. Whatever women want, it isn't me.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/09/23 05:05 PM
2

Bold of you to assume I'm not out in the real world. I haven't used any dating apps since around 2015. What's left - bars? I don't drink, and drunk people are annoying when you're sober. Clubs? I'm old enough that that would be awkward, plus I don't want to date women more than 15 years younger than I am. Meetups? Most of them are sausage fests, and even when women are present it's irrelevant since they don't want to be hit on when they're trying to do the thing they signed up for. Cold approach…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/09/23 05:01 PM
2

I was in a LTR with a woman who had BPD and I know it’s a struggle. I replied to the wrong person earlier, but I’m glad you both found someone.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/09/23 01:13 PM
1

My mistake
/r/PurplePillDebate24/09/23 01:04 PM
–

Not in my 47 years of life on this earth. Anyway, I shouldn’t piss on your bliss. I have no right to begrudge anyone happiness, especially when they’ve struggled for it. So without any sarcasm this time, congratulations - I hope you both have a long and happy marriage.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/09/23 12:57 PM
8

I’m sorry, but in the context of this post it just sounds like you’re gloating. I’ve struggled with mental illness too. No one gives a shit about men with depression because women are repulsed by male weakness. Women are allowed to be fragile, men are not. Enjoy, I guess.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/09/23 12:52 PM
1

Gratz
/r/PurplePillDebate24/09/23 12:50 PM
6

You mean kill themselves? Yeah no shit, they can and often do. GFY
/r/PurplePillDebate24/09/23 12:46 PM
5

The comments swing differently because there are different motives depending on who’s posting the same message. If a man posts something like this, it’s because he’s experiencing some anxiety over the fact that the cards are stacked against him. He’s lonely and in pain. If a woman posts the same message? It’s a very different picture. I’m trying to find a positive reason behind this post and coming up with nil. This is either gloating or bullying, pure and simple. It’s no different than going so…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/09/23 12:44 PM
3

“I am sure you would rather be single…” blah blah blah
/r/PurplePillDebate24/09/23 08:58 AM
5

What’s delusional is feeling qualified to psychoanalyze a total stranger based off of a few Reddit comments. You have no clue.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/09/23 08:51 AM
4

I’m almost 50 now, have no interest in dating women under 40, but go on with your dumb stereotypes.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/09/23 08:46 AM
6

We’re not even playing the same game, that much is obvious.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/09/23 08:44 AM
10

I had enough casual sex in my 20s to learn that the universe doesn’t revolve around it, and it didn’t even take long to come to that realization. All I’ve wanted since my early 30s was a good LTR - and no, I’m not attracted to women much younger than me. I think more men are relationship-minded than your typical crowdsourced “men bad” mentality can accept.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/09/23 08:22 AM
6

That implies “somebody else” even exists. This is the kind of hand-waving common advice that tells me women have nothing meaningful to say to men who are struggling to find a partner.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/09/23 08:18 AM
3

Hooray for you.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/09/23 08:16 AM
9

Yes. I know I’m not what women want, as I’m short and have dealt with depression for most of my life. I’m happier when I don’t think about the possibility of a relationship. Whenever I take it, and the odds, seriously, it makes me want to jump off a bridge.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/09/23 08:16 AM
1

I grew up surrounded by racist, sexist bigots, and those guys rarely had any difficulty getting laid. Your generalizations are childish snd beyond shallow.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/09/23 07:20 AM
1

IRL interactions also aren’t global. For an average Redditor, a lot more then 65% of people have social media. 10 years ago you could say things like “get off the internet” and things would be different. Now, not so much. Almost every aspect of our culture is mediated by the internet now.,
/r/PurplePillDebate24/09/23 06:22 AM
2

I saw a female poster say this in PPD just yesterday.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/09/23 05:32 AM
8

You’re in a vanishingly small minority of men who ever experience this. Congrats on being born with the right genes.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/09/23 05:18 AM
12

That means you have to be active on social media, which is trash. Everyone carefully curating and editing their lives for public consumption - it’s a joke.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/09/23 05:06 AM
3

Neither does your vague stereotyping of billions of men. You’re here making absolute statements and only now when I gave you a counterfactual did you start making allowances for individual variability.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/09/23 01:54 PM
1

Ok?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/09/23 01:47 PM
2

In the context of this post, you’re just gloating.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/09/23 04:04 AM
1

“baby mama #2”? You’re really classing the joint up around here
/r/PurplePillDebate23/09/23 04:01 AM
1

I got engaged at 20, enlisted at 22 to help both my fiancé and I get our degrees, and she cheated on me 3 weeks into boot camp. She told me on a weekly 5-minute payphone call. When I got out of basic a few months later I learned she sold almost everything I owned. So don’t give me your bullshit generalizing about men in their 20s.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/09/23 03:51 AM
9

Things also have a way of not working out. I mean if we’re just pulling empty aphorisms out of our asses, either one is correct.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/09/23 03:43 AM
1

OP is talking about incentives for bad behavior. What do you think is a stronger incentive? Another dude telling a man to “unlearn his own unconscious patterns of behavior” (which realistically takes years of introspection, if not therapy), or women denying him something he already wants more than almost anything? Herero men and women incentivize each other’s most common behaviors vis a vis relationships. If it were any other way, those behaviors wouldn’t exist because sex and romantic love are …
/r/PurplePillDebate16/09/23 11:40 PM
8

Ok? How high on anyone’s list of concerns should “banishment of menstruating women” be in any developed country in 2023?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/09/23 09:08 PM
1

“It shouldn’t count”? Who’s keeping score? Fairness has nothing to do with it.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/23 02:45 AM
1

I think you're confusing descriptive statements with prescriptive ones. I didn't take her comment as saying that this is how things should be but explaining why they are how they are. You're being defensive and emotive.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/23 03:53 PM
3

I seriously doubt most women would be ok with men wearing makeup, let alone all of them. If wearing makeup helped hetero men attract women, they wouldn't give a damn what other men had to say about it. The reward would be good enough to ignore other men's opinions on it. Women often downplay their own responsibility in maintaining male gender norms.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/23 10:00 PM
6

Definitely not everyone. Cosmetic surgery has become increasingly acceptable, even encouraged.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/23 09:58 PM
3

Why does it matter? If you get plastic surgery and end up looking more physically attractive, the benefits will outweigh the minor drawbacks of random people deriding you for it. Besides that, most people won't even be able to tell.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/23 09:57 PM
5

That's certainly part of it.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/23 07:40 PM
15

The first strongly influences the second.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/23 07:09 PM
16

The idea of a starter home is dead, and housing prices alone have made life much more difficult for young people or anyone who isn't already on the property ladder. This is one of the biggest reasons why birth rates are so low - most people won't have children unless they feel like they're in a stable place, and being a renter is inherently unstable (unless they're one of the lucky few with rent control). The decision to marry is also impacted by this, to a lesser degree.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/23 07:08 PM
1

My 2 longest relationships began when I cold approached women in a parking lot and a cookie shop. I don't even cold approach in general, with these two I just felt like I had to and it worked.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/09/23 06:50 AM
1

I started my longest relationship by talking to a girl I didn't know in a parking lot. She was carrying a book I loved, and I just asked her about it. I started my rebound relationship after her by talking to a girl in a cookie shop. This was in the 2000s, though, and I think doing the same thing now would be enough to get labeled as a creep.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/09/23 06:46 AM
1

Most people pay as little attention to other people as possible. People are like trees in the forest, and the only ones who stand out will be rare in some respect. Being unusually attractive is just the most obvious example.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/09/23 06:25 AM
1

I get it. It sucks that some of the most obvious and measured statements are somehow anathema now.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/09/23 04:58 AM
3

That either. But also, people don’t want to talk to strangers. End of.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/09/23 04:55 AM
3

Real people don’t want to hear from strangers. That’s what makes it hard.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/09/23 01:01 AM
6

I can't see how pointing out the fact that bots and marketing exist is ranting, paranoid, or misogynistic.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/23 09:23 PM
6

Get off the apps and go where exactly? It's become socially unacceptable to approach a woman anywhere in public other than a bar, so if you don't drink or don't want to yell in someone's ear to have a conversation, then you're SOL. Don't say Meetups either, since 99% of the time, those are full of couples or total sausage-fests. And anywhere else, people have their faces stuck in their phones. Most people just don't want to talk to strangers anymore, period. That's not just a man-woman thing, th…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/23 09:18 PM
8

I think it's even more likely that the "hot" female profiles on OLD are overrepresented becuase of bots and women advertising their OnlyFans. One more reason OLD is a joke for most men.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/23 09:02 PM
1

Assumptive and insulting.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/23 08:47 PM
–

Apply that same logic to every woman who believes she’s too fat. Society decided that was such a pressing issue that we now have billboards in major cities preaching fat acceptance. Physical insecurity in women is treated like a public health crisis. Physical insecurity in men is treated like comedy fodder.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/23 08:19 PM
–

Only garbage people go out of their way to encourage self-loathing behavior. That’s all you’re doing now, and you’re freely admitting to this. I’ve got no time for bullies, so we’re done here.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/23 08:13 PM
–

You’re a real piece of work.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/23 08:03 PM
–

Men who lack confidence and either the inclination or practice at engaging in some of the most nuanced social interactions possible are liable to blame their lack of success on immutable traits. Why? Because they're frustrated and confused. A decent person can understand that. A self-absorbed POS will just tell them they suck and they know it.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/23 07:42 PM
4

You have to suck beyond words for you to absolutely need to be physically perfect in order to attract women. Speaking as a man who's struggled in the past with social anxiety and depression, fuck all the way off. Men are still expected to initiate everything, and men who are introverted or have any degree of social anxiety will have a hard time. That has nothing to do with looks. All you're doing now is straw-manning some lonely people, or even just young people who haven't had enough life exper…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/23 07:34 PM
1

All of them? Really? You can’t find a single woman your age who isn’t chasing clout on TikTok? Doubt it. Too many absolute statements in this sub make it clear that most people aren’t here to think, they just want to vent.
/r/AllPillDebate08/09/23 02:02 PM
0

How can you miss the word “debate” here? If you’re looking for places where men can vent among other men, those subs exist. I want there to be women here because echo chambers are unhealthy.
/r/AllPillDebate08/09/23 02:00 PM
1

Ok. I guess every man reading this would be better off taking one woman's gut feelings on the matter more seriously than peer-reviewed research.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/23 07:45 PM
1

I doubt anyone is building their life around this study, but that doesn't mean they should just disregard it, either. It's one data point in a life that's full of them, and unlike most, it's peer-reviewed.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/23 07:13 PM
1

I don't disagree, I'm just saying that's the only way for a wealthy man to know for certain that a woman isn't only with him for his money.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/23 07:12 PM
1

You don't know how statistical sampling works, huh?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/23 06:43 PM
9

The flip side is that men with money may expect compliance from their partners in exchange for access to those resources. They may not be willing to compromise or negotiate the way most couples do. They expect to have their own way, and for their partner to go along with it ... or else. This holds true even outside of relationships. I've known and worked with a lot of HNW individuals, and that's a good description of how many, if not most of them interact with anyone who isn't equally as wealthy…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/23 06:38 PM
1

It seems like the obvious answer is for wealthy and successful men to only date equally wealthy and successful women.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/23 06:36 PM
1

Thanks for sharing a thoughtful reply.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/23 04:24 PM
1

I think this is relevant - are you a guy? Because that makes a huge difference in terms of how people respond. Outgoing women aren’t seen as a threat or a pest nearly as often and the word “creep” is gender-specific.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/23 02:35 PM
1

Wait I just realized - you’re not a guy. No wonder it’s been so much easier for strangers to open up to you. I knew something was very different. If a man started interrupting people in public like you just described he’d be asked to leave. Women really have no advice to offer men on the subject of dating or even meeting new people. Our experiences are just too different.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/23 06:53 AM
2

Plus how the hell do you even have a conversation with people in a club? Every time I went to one in my 20s it was almost impossible to hear anyone.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/23 06:04 AM
1

I see that “I don’t want to be bothered” vibe everywhere now. Also I’m Gen X so I’m not socialized like Gen Z. And I’m sorry, the idea of a complete stranger asking what I’m working on while my laptop is out seems borderline unhinged. I think most people would feel the same way. You make it sound so fucking easy. Extroverts can seem like a different species sometimes, and this convo is one of them.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/23 05:40 AM
3

I’m legitimately baffled how anyone could say that the social environment hasn’t changed in 43 years. I don’t even know where to begin with that.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/23 04:20 AM
–

I wouldn’t be here if I did, but that still doesn’t disprove the fact that OLD is garbage for a vast majority of men. If OLD worked for most, it wouldn’t even be profitable. Besides that, I did try OLD for about 10 years. It doesn’t do jack shit unless you’re either an 8 or higher, or rich. Plus I’m 5’7” and not big on lying, so height filters make me literally invisible to the large majority of women who select for tall men.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/23 04:08 AM
3

I carry a bag with Twin Peaks buttons on it, that doesn’t mean anyone’s ever approached me to talk about it. Beyond that, I’m still mystified about even finding an opening to converse when everyone is doing their best to be distracted at all times. If it isn’t a laptop or a book, it’s a phone. It seems like no matter what, I’d have to interrupt someone to start a conversation. I don’t believe people respond well to being interrupted by strangers (unless they’re very attractive). How long ago wer…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/23 04:05 AM
–

LOL
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/23 03:58 AM
3

Clubs are only a thing when you’re under 30, 35 at the most. It’s like I said elsewhere, dating only gets worse the older you get.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/23 03:56 AM
1

We're bombarded with messages about how much women hate being spoken to by men they don't know at the gym. Even in hobby groups, there's this idea that if you're there with the hopes of finding someone to date then you're a pest. The way our culture has changed in recent years, I honestly believe that the best thing a man can do for a woman is to leave her alone. I'm not playing mind games anymore and trying to guess whether the messages I'm hearing are actually true, I'm just taking women at th…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/23 09:10 PM
3

Can't speak for bars and clubs specifically, but the social environment has changed drastically since 1980. We're more atomized than we've ever been. At least in the U.S., where most redditors live. https://medium.com/illumination/the-death-of-third-places-and-the-evolution-of-communities-5bbffc01c5e
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/23 09:05 PM
9

How? I treat coffee shops like my second home, always have, and everyone in them either has their face in a laptop or book or is there with a friend or date. People in coffee shops seem completely walled-off.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/23 09:02 PM
5

I'm not really trying to meet anyone, but I do go out and socialize. The sentiment in this post should work for me, but it doesn't. A big reason is that whenever I go out and do things around other people, they're almost always preoccupied with a friend group, a date, or a spouse. In my experience, being alone in a social gathering makes you invisible or an outlier, and neither is conducive to meeting a new romantic partner. Sometimes it just makes me feel depressed and lonelier than I am at any…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/23 09:00 PM
1

Man, I really shouldn't have set up society like this. What was I thinking?! My bad, everyone.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/23 08:50 PM
10

I'm Gen X, and still think that "it'll happen when you least expect it" is stupid. Beyond that, if you think dating in your 20s is hard, try it in your 40s. It gets worse. When most of your peers are consumed with work and family, and most of them are already married. Not to mention how most social activities where people go to meet potential romantic partners are geared towards single people in their 20s.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/23 08:43 PM
2

Word, I stopped trying 5 years ago, and nothing has "just happened." Sometimes that bothers me, usually, it doesn't. I'm dealing with a mid-life career change, getting a new degree, and my friends are some of the best people I've ever met. When I'm ready to date again I'll put in the work, and I definitely won't rely on "not trying". Nothing good in life ever happens all on its own, you have to make it happen.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/23 08:39 PM
1

No, because I don't believe it's my "duty" to add more humans to an already overpopulated world. Also, no, we're not going to go extinct simply because people are having less children. You're thinking in absolutes, there's zero chance that NO people will want to ever have children again. With almost 8 billion of us alive today, even if only 5% of young adults decided to have children it would take millennia to get to a point where extinction is a real possibility. ​ I am nihilistic. So don’t bel…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/23 05:48 AM
3

This will depend greatly on where you live, which should be obvious. Beyond that, I don't think people show much respect for one another across the board. You barely put any effort into making friends or having a career, but you make 6 figures and have friends anyway. It sounds like you live a charmed life and your personal experiences are outliers.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/23 02:23 AM
1

I mean, you can’t force people to make the first move if they genuinely don’t want to. Where did I say I wanted to force anyone to do anything? I'm just pointing out the obvious disparity in how much effort hetero men and women have to put forward to get anything off the ground. Ask a man to risk rejection and put himself out there, and it's standard. Ask a woman to do the same thing, and they get immediate sympathy and understanding for just how hard that is. Rejection hurts? Yeah, no shit.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/23 02:18 AM
24

That's a common platitude. Other people's opinions do matter since there's a lot in life that isn't simply up to us. Whether it's getting hired, getting a relationship, making a friend, etc. We're social creatures, and as such we need to care what other people think of us.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/23 06:46 PM
4

Also many less conventionally attractive and/or insecure women avoid making the first move because they’re also scared of rejection. Oh boo-hoo. Men who aren't conventionally attractive are expected to make the first move regardless, they don't like rejection either, so why can't women? Lots of times when guys say they wanna be hit on, they mean by hot women only. I remember every single compliment I ever received from a woman I didn't know because they've been so rare. Their attractiveness didn…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/23 06:38 PM
7

Trust me. If you're 40's and haven't messed up your life people give you lots of respect. I'm in my 40s and that is bullshit.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/23 06:36 PM
14

The last time I told a woman who I didn’t know “Good morning” while we were in the park she rolled her eyes and said “Um, I have a BOYFRIEND”. I wasn’t even interested in her. Women can be incredibly rude when they perceive a stranger is hitting on them. Not even saying there’s no good reason for it, but that’s the reality.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/23 02:09 PM
–

I’m not dating and it isn’t painful at all. I have good friends, a career, and hobbies I enjoy. My life now feels like easy mode compared to what it was when I was always trying to get a woman’s attention.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/23 02:02 PM
1

Speak for yourself
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/23 06:28 AM
1

Yes, run along now.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/23 06:24 AM
1

You haven’t made a cogent point yet, but snark is easy. I get it.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/23 06:18 AM
3

I read your comment well enough to understand you have no grasp of statistical relevance.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/23 06:00 AM
3

Ok? You’re talking about a different country then. This post is about the US.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/23 12:55 AM
6

Wow, you really are social media personified. Anyone who calls you out for a dumb comment must be tRIggEreD (do you identify as an attack helicopter too?) I don't give a damn about "r-word", I just think it's funny that you insulted tens of millions of people for their immaturity while expressing yourself like an edgy teen in 2015.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/23 07:17 PM
2

If that's the only word you can come up with then your piss-poor vocabulary is really on you. Idiots calling millions of strangers idiots - you are social media with a single username.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/23 06:43 PM
2

There isn't a single man reading this who created the patriarchy. Assigning collective blame over an immutable trait is always going to be a trash argument. It’s not women’s responsibility to solve men’s loneliness when we’ve been conditioned to prioritize them for generations. When the root cause of these problems are misogyny, it feels weird to shift the blame solely towards women. Misogyny is to blame for widespread loneliness - how exactly do you figure? We live in the most atomized society …
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/23 06:31 PM
0

This is the most predictable sub I'm part of, and these posts write themselves. We all talk about how women need to be more willing to accept it when men openly express sadness or anxiety, and I agree. Many women say they want men to be more vulnerable but often recoil when they get what they claim to want. But we almost always leave it there while ignoring how men typically don't respond to other men's struggles any better. I think it's even easier for a man to be open about his emotions around…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/23 06:23 PM
6

That's a massive, idiotic, and very typical-for-this-sub overgeneralization of millions of people. r-words If you're going to trash-talk young people, you can at least use actual words like a grown adult.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/23 06:13 PM
10

Most single people are young, so that isn't much of a brush-off. The older you get, the more difficult it gets since your peer group are 1) more likely to be married themselves; 2) more likely to be too busy with child-rearing and careers to socialize.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/23 05:22 PM
1

https://www.livescience.com/58607-mens-looks-may-matter-more-than-personality.html
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/23 04:59 PM
17

Apps are where most relationships start now. That means more women aren't even looking to meet a new partner elsewhere. Maybe 10 years ago you could wall off the internet from "real life", but now it's all the same thing. We didn't choose it, that's the hand we've been dealt.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/23 04:52 PM
12

Can’t get the part without an audition. Finding and landing THE right woman for you usually requires a lot of trial snd error. Any other story is either Hollywood or dumb luck.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/23 02:31 AM
1

I think part of the problem is how we spend an infinite amount of time and energy talking about what toxic masculinity is, but people hardly even bother acknowledging what regular masculinity looks like.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/23 02:28 AM
4

Why wouldn't it?
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/23 09:17 PM
0

Women have personal quirky preferences too. A female friend of mine thinks Tim Robinson is hot.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/23 05:40 PM
6

What I have realised is that anyone who creates an arbitrary standard as rigid as height and picking a specific number to which they expect their partner to be,has issues far more concerning that will come forth later in the relationship ​ That's great and all, but when it becomes the norm, it makes an already difficult dating environment even worse.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/23 03:45 PM
3

I got female friends the same way I got male friends. It sounds like your inability to be friends with women is rooted in your inability to be friends with anyone who doesn't have "masculine unfemale-like thinking". That's a you problem.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/08/23 12:04 AM
2

If a woman chooses to be child-free, that's her business and none of mine. If she's infertile, I empathize with her if she wants to have kids.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/23 08:25 PM
1

One is a lot more common than the other. And you justify literally anything with that line. “Here’s a common behavior women do that’s less than ideal” “What about men who KILL WOMEN??” Come back to earth and quit mascoting. No one in this sub is justifying homicide ffs.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/23 03:52 AM
1

Several steps ahead of being able to attract and begin a relationship to begin with. That comes easier to some than others, and it requires experience. It’s also age-variable to a large degree. If you’re 50 and you’ve only had brief relationships then something is wrong. If you’re 23 that’s a different story.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/23 01:52 AM
2

You’re still several steps ahead. The downsides of swapping out partners aren’t going to matter if you don’t learn which traits are going to make you happy in relationships, and which people you can be good for. Clearly you need to balance both a willingness to date and to commit when the time is right.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/23 01:35 AM
2

I wasn't just talking about sex and neither was the person I replied to.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/23 12:03 AM
9

I know that's necessary, it just isn't enough all on its own.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/23 12:03 AM
3

Years when I’ve been happiest on my own have always been years where nothing happened dating-wise. It’s not that deep. Before you can change your status quo you have to be motivated to change it.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/23 10:07 PM
25

That is absolutely not a given. That’s Hollywood stuff.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/23 10:04 PM
18

You don’t get the role without the audition
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/23 10:03 PM
3

Statistics isn't your strong suit. All your clearly-this and clearly-that isn't distinguishing between a 1% or a 1,000% greater chance of the worst-case scenario outcomes you're talking about.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/23 06:20 PM
1

I don't know how much there is to even talk about. If you want to be unattached, then just be unattached. How many different ways are there to say, "I don't date anymore"? Anything more than that only lends itself to an echo chamber that rapidly devolves into endless self-victimization and grudges against women. The real MGTOW is not even thinking about women all that much.
/r/ExRedPill21/08/23 03:46 PM
2

Going by the abstracts: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/26445346/ says nothing about how the number of sexual partners affects a woman's ability to be an "effective" mother or wife, or her ability to bond with her children and spouse. ​ https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/18444064/ Conscientiousness is negatively correlated, while extraversion is positively correlated. I don't think it's clear that withdrawn people who are more easily exhausted by social interaction make better parents. None of this…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/23 03:37 PM
6

There are numerous studies that directly link number of sexual partners to inability to bond and be an otherwise effective mother/wife. Cool, can you share one? I'd love to see the data. I'd also love to see what variables mark a woman as an "effective" mother or wife, or her ability to bond with her partner or child.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/08/23 06:24 PM
1

I'm sorry, what? I get the violence and aggression part since testosterone encourages those traits. But insecurity and arrogance? Women are at least as likely as men to be insecure and arrogant. Especially the insecure part.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/08/23 06:15 PM
1

The problem is that hedonistic treadmill, that ratcheting effect. Porn is only images on a screen so it isn’t enough, and the result is that the more porn you watch, the more extreme content you need to see to feel anything. It’s also addictive - it plays directly on a powerful reward circuit in your brain - and there’s almost zero friction in getting more.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/08/23 02:02 PM
5

Exactly, they aren’t really GTOW if they can’t shut up about the bad deal women have given them. The real GTOW would be living a full life as a non-attached man, not endlessly complaining. It’s like moving away from California and then spending the rest of your life online bitching about California. It’s pathetic self-victimization.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/08/23 10:37 PM
5

What foreign countries have you travelled to and how long did you stay? What was it about them that made you want to permanently relocate? Let’s start with that.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/08/23 10:31 PM
1

Amateur content can still include everything I mentioned. It’s not as if no women enjoy the more extreme things you see in porn. I know they exist and I’ve dated some. The problem is that porn leads men to believe that all of them should. Porn is a caricature of sex and the human body, for both men and women. It’s a lie. And when men are socialized from a young age to expect reality to match the caricature, that’s going to have negative consequences for a lot of people.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/08/23 10:21 PM
1

Amateur content can still include everything I mentioned. It’s not as if no women enjoy the more extreme things you see in porn. I know they exist and I’ve dated some. The problem is that porn leads men to believe that all of them should. Porn is a caricature of sex, for both men and women. It’s a lie.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/08/23 10:21 PM
2

Sure they can. Porn is easy, costs nothing, it’s available at a moment’s notice, and it can be tailored perfectly to fit a man’s exact sexual desires.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/08/23 04:04 PM
10

It doesn’t just remove undesirable males, it also creates them. Men who grow up now watching pornstars getting choked out, spit on, and throatf*cked expect that to be what every woman ought to desire. That expectation in turn pushes women to do things they don’t want to do. I starting watching porn when I was 12, and I saw this ratcheting effect where by the time I stopped it the abuse I saw on screen was just too damn depressing. It took a while before I could come back to earth and even know w…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/08/23 04:01 PM
4

What other jobs include a risk of STIs?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/08/23 01:51 AM
1

I can't help it if you don't know how to read citations. Here's a direct link to the US study being referenced. Took all of 3 seconds: https://academic.oup.com/aje/article/159/8/778/91471?login=false Sample size was statistically significant - 1,969 sex workers.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/23 11:15 PM
2

And "The largest of these studies, conducted in the U.S., reported 100 deaths of FSW with the leading causes being violence and overdose (19·0% and 18·0% respectively)" - same paragraph. How intellectually dishonest are you with that kind of deceptive cherry-picking?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/23 10:55 PM
4

Agree 100% with your take on sex work and porn. I'm a man and I think both have been horrible for our culture, and for the women who are working in them.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/23 09:37 PM
8

I think that's conflating leftists with liberals. Leftists don't love corporate work or corporations in general. Liberals are the ones enamored with mindless tokenism at the expense of all else. The only kind of work under a capitalist system that seems to get a pass for the left is sex work. I wish they'd realize that not only is sex work, work, but that sex work is also capitalist.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/23 09:35 PM
2

Do people have the right to work in sweatshops too? 45-75% of sex workers are victims of rape. Not to mention that the statistics around substance abuse and murder00388-1/fulltext#:~:text=The%20largest%20of%20these%20studies,18%C2%B70%25%20respectively) among sex workers are horrifying. Sheltered college-educated suburbanites putting a positive spin on sex work only provide cover.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/23 09:17 PM
16

Speaking as a guy on the left end of the political spectrum, I hate how much other lefties, men and women both, uncritically accept this idea that "sex work is work." It's exploitation, pure and simple. And it's especially galling when progressives are super skeptical about modern employment but do a 180 when the job involves sex. It makes no sense at all.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/23 09:13 PM
2

Figures that you would peace out as soon as you got the data you asked for, and when it didn’t fit your assumptions
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/23 06:02 PM
0

That doesn’t even explain your previous statement. You’re missing the point and making the vaguest, broadest generalizations possible.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/23 05:26 PM
1

That’s a meaningless statement that you could make about anyone or anything. “You don’t really love your children, you only love how they make you feel” “You don’t really like your favorite sports team, you only like how it makes you feel” There is no experience without feeling
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/23 04:14 PM
3

“Immediately”? That would mean leaving a relationship the first time your partner says she doesn’t feel like having sex that time. This is unhinged.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/23 04:08 PM
2

Women fall out of love and leave relationships over lack of sex too. Years ago me and my girlfriend lived together for 4 years. We were both going to school and working full-time. I worked the graveyard shift, she worked nights, and we hardly saw each other. Our sex life dwindled to almost nothing. She ended up cheating on me with my best friend. When we talked about it much later she said that she was extremely frustrated sexually, he was there, and I wasn’t. Other than that, we never argued, w…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/23 04:00 PM
1

What country do you live in? Because “brutal shaming” is a huge overstatement in most, if not all developed countries. Certainly so in the majority English-speaking countries where most Redditors live. Please give an example of a common and “brutal” shaming tactic used in these places.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/23 03:35 PM
1

Just know that the odds are against anyone having their social circles expand, not contract, after leaving a university.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/23 03:26 PM
1

I tried that in bars and never once had a single positive result. The only conclusion I can come to is that I’m an ugly motherfucker and the more I think about it, the more depressing it gets. You know what doesn’t attract women? Being depressed. The activity that makes me feel like an unworthy piece of shit is the same one where I’m supposed to project confidence and well-bring. It’s a death spiral that I don’t know how to climb out of.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/23 03:19 PM
0

Excuse me? Everything I mentioned will happen whether you’re trash or not
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/23 02:58 PM
2

No worries
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/23 02:52 PM
14

No, it gets worse. The older you get, the harder it becomes to make friends, let alone find a partner. More of your peers will get lost in family and work, and whatever looks you have will fade. I'm only saying this to remind people to make your time count, especially if you're under 30.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/23 05:17 AM
11

I feel this. In the end, you can only do two things in this life: take steps to change your situation or revise your expectations. And we don't get forever to get the result we want.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/23 05:12 AM
–

Try being over 40 when almost all of your peers are either married or married to their work. At least you have a ton of daily interactions with women who are your age, most of them single. It gets worse. I remember complaining about how hard it was to date while I was in college - looking back, I was an idiot.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/23 04:52 AM
1

Never drank alcohol even once until my first college semester when I was 18.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/23 04:39 AM
6

Nice stereotyping. I don't want a subservient wife, and I'm not seeing any but a fringe of men who do. Men here are saying it'd be nice if women would start the conversation more often, and your takeaway is that they want women to submit. A woman who isn't afraid to make her desires known is the exact opposite of subservient. You're on outrage autopilot, like just about everyone else on social media.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/23 02:32 AM
7

Red herring? Hardly. Reread the title of this post and tell me how disproportionate - and rising - rates of male suicide and homelessness jibe with that.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/23 02:22 AM
5

Ok? The large majority of people in power are men who are also over the age of 70 who would be utterly lost in the current dating landscape. I think you've got a hammer and everything looks like a nail.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/23 02:20 AM
1

Yes, I did, and then I saw some actual data tonight and revised my original position to something more moderate. Pretty fucked up, huh?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/23 12:37 AM
6

It does happen though, just not in the US or UK. Women and men are more likely to meet each other halfway in countries like Denmark and Sweden. If it can be done there, why not anywhere else?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/23 12:34 AM
1

I feel so bad for men who are diabetic. I'm not myself, but 2 of my best friends have been and that caused ED. Both of them caught hell in relationships.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/23 12:27 AM
1

How big are the differences? That's the only thing I'm asking you. Because the more closely we look, the smaller the differences seem to be.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/23 12:25 AM
1

I can think of a ton of downright offensive stereotypes that are rooted in some fact. That's the problem with stereotyping, taking inconsequential differences and over-applying them. Try saying it out loud for any demographic other than men in general, and you're liable to be banned from Reddit. The point remains people use these dumb all-or-nothing stereotypes all the time when the more we actually look at the data, the fewer real differences we see between male and female libido.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/23 12:15 AM
11

Here, I'll save you 30 seconds, not that it'll matter. Men are almost 4X as likely to commit suicide: https://www.kff.org/other/state-indicator/suicide-rate-by-gender/?currentTimeframe=0&sortModel=%7B%22colId%22:%22Location%22,%22sort%22:%22asc%22%7D 70% of the homeless population are male: https://endhomelessness.org/demographic-data-project-gender-and-individual-homelessness/#:~:text=Sixty%2Dseven%20percent%20of%20all,by%20women%20(29%20percent)) Multiple conclusions and stats on male vs femal…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/23 12:04 AM
12

Its also mens choice to not choose higher education or to be a criminal. Say that right here, in print, about any other demographic overrepresented in crime statistics or underrepresented in higher education. I dare you. Men as a category are fair game in a way that no other demographic is.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/23 12:00 AM
1

Yup. These are more sex-egalitarian societies too, which reinforces my idea that societies where most women refuse to make the first move are holding on to the one part of outdated norms that makes life easier for them.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/23 11:54 PM
1

So they didn't disappear entirely. They're still "much smaller", so how much should that alter the stereotype that men want sex all the time and women are way more choosy about it? I've known more than a few women who have destroyed their own lives because they couldn't get over a man who was good in bed. Cheating while married with kids, etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/23 11:52 PM
1

Truth and consequences: using the bogus pipeline to examine sex differences in self-reported sexuality. https://www.researchgate.net/publication/10707596_Truth_and_Consequences_Using_the_Bogus_Pipeline_to_Examine_Sex_Differences_in_Self-Reported_Sexuality#:~:text=Sex%20differences%20in%20self%2Dreported%20sexual%20behavior%20were%20negligible%20in,could%20potentially%20view%20participants%20responses.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/23 11:43 PM
2

Sources are listed at the end of the article. Sarah Hunter Murray, PhD, marriage and family therapist; author, Not Always in the Mood: The New Science of Men, Sex, and Relationships. Justin Garcia, PhD, executive director, the Kinsey Institute, Indiana University. Journal of Sex Research: “Truth and consequences: using the bogus pipeline to examine sex differences in self-reported sexuality.” The Journal of Sexual Medicine: “Women's Sexual Desire and Arousal Disorders.” Archives of Sexual Behavi…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/23 11:42 PM
2

This is what I'm talking about. As soon as women believe the truth would be revealed no matter what, the results changed. This is proof that shame led them to downplay their own libido when asked. Playing Into Stereotypes In a 2007 study, researchers aimed to find out how much social norms influenced how men and women reported sexual behaviors including masturbation, their number of sexual partners, and watching pornography. The people they studied – all college students – were asked the same se…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/23 11:32 PM
2

It's not that obvious and definitely not scientifically uncontroversial. The only reason you think that is because of some cultural norms that have stuck around since the Victorian era. https://www.webmd.com/sex/features/sex-drive-how-do-men-women-compare Women are still shamed for wanting sex while men are admired for it, so it's no wonder that women are less open about expressing this. You're only repeating a message that's pretty sexist at its core.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/23 11:26 PM
21

Damn, sorry you went through that. It's crazy how the idea of sexual entitlement is almost never applied to women.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/23 11:24 PM
-1

Not sure what your "this" is referring to. That men have higher libidos, or that they don't?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/23 11:08 PM
2

Recent research has shown the differences between male and female libido are less pronounced than people used to think. They also show that women are more likely to under-report their own sex drives in surveys because of those same outdated morals I just described. The more you take social influences like shame out of the picture, the less of a difference you see in the sex drive between men and women. https://www.webmd.com/sex/features/sex-drive-how-do-men-women-compare This becomes super obvio…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/23 11:03 PM
2

These stats aren't even that different. Certainly not enough to say women are "used for sex" any time it doesn't happen in the course of a LTR.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/23 11:00 PM
0

I don't even know if it's true that men have higher libidos. I think a lot of outdated pseudo-moral bullshit feeds into that perception. It's also one that does women a disservice.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/23 10:40 PM
4

Women tend not to make the first move because we'd end up being used for sex by men who aren't interested in actually dating us but figure we'd be an easy lay. Women have one-night stands just as often as men do. This is some outdated 1950s bullshit.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/23 10:36 PM
44

Exactly. Look what happens when a woman is expecting sex and gets turned down. Instant emotional crisis.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/23 10:33 PM
2

Denmark is like this, or at least Copenhagen is. According to a bunch of Danes I know.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/23 10:32 PM
7

When hoards of men approach you all the time as an indication of interest, it is natural to assume men who do not approach you are not interested. And at the same time, women complain that men are too thirsty, etc. You just described perfectly how that behavior is encouraged. You either don't want to initiate anything yourself, or you don't want hordes of men approaching all the time. I wish women would pick one, ffs.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/23 10:29 PM
22

Women hate rejection and have no built in immunity to it Nobody has built-in immunity to rejection. The only way men become somewhat immune to it is the same way any other kind of immunity works - through constant exposure. That's uncomfortable work that most women just don't want to do.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/23 10:27 PM
3

Women do routinely make the first move in some cultures right now. I used to work for a Danish company and the Danes I worked with said this is pretty normal in Copenhagen.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/23 10:25 PM
3

Men tend not to attach to women who make the first move. I've literally never heard this in my life, and certainly don't feel this way myself. 2 of my last 3 LTRs were with women who made the first move.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/23 10:23 PM
47

I feel like we're supposed to ditch every aspect of old-fashioned 1950s relationship norms. Except for this one! Because it's the only one left that actually makes women's lives easier. No need to put their ego on the line and try to create something from nothing constantly. No need to feel like an intrusive pest just because they want to connect with someone, but just power through it and try it anyway. That shit is not easy. As you said, men are discouraged from approaching women in as many pl…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/23 10:18 PM
1

Social norms made on the internet find their way into the culture at large. How could they not?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/23 07:36 PM
–

Bars: I literally can't socialize in bars because, most of the time, I can't hear people well enough to follow a conversation. It's not like I'm deaf either, I don't have this problem anywhere other than bars and concerts, and it's been like this since I was 23 or 24. My fault for working on jet engines in the military, I guess. Besides, drunk people are annoying unless I'm equally drunk, and I don't like to get drunk in general. Libraries: I've been going to my local library 2-3 days a week sin…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/23 07:19 PM
1

Compared to previous decades, everyone dresses like a schlub now. You can flaunt your wealth with your car and your house, but outside of that it's more looked down on to show it off than it used to be.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/23 06:44 PM
1

From everything I've heard online in the last 5-10 years, the best thing a man can do for a woman is leave her the fuck alone. Perfect, let's all grow old alone then.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/23 06:08 PM
–

No one reading this has every woman on the planet in their dating pool. If you're in your 20s in a Western country, then tiktok isn't a bad sample for what women in your peer group are like.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/23 05:32 PM
1

It still didn't work that often. Wealth markers aren't as common as they used to be.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/23 05:26 PM
1

Maybe mid-6 figures means something different in San Francisco than most other places.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/23 05:09 PM
1

Bars and clubs are too loud to have a conversation in, so I've never understood how anyone meets anyone else in those places. Parties are only a thing in your 20s. I don't know what you mean by activity venues, but if it's things like going to shows then people are almost always with a big friend group and totally occupied by their friends and the thing they came to see.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/23 05:08 PM
1

Speaking as a man who's 30+ myself, the advice people my age give is no more helpful to me since I'm living in the world as it is, same as you are.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/23 04:46 PM
1

I think a woman's idea of what "wealthy enough to date" looks like is more variable than "handsome enough to date".
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/23 04:45 PM
1

I almost made a post about this yesterday. Most of the advice / complaints here revolve around people who are in their 20s and live in big cities. That's just Reddit's demographic I guess.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/23 04:33 PM
1

I started making mid-6 figures in my 30s and I can tell you this isn't true at all. I had better luck in my mid-20s when I was more physically attractive, but broke.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/23 04:31 PM
1

I think you could add another item to the list: Overthinker. These guys game out a million different scenarios before every interaction that all end in failure. and maybe that's the same as Just fucking depressed.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/23 04:27 PM
–

Totally agree - a lot of what we talk about in this sub goes beyond dating, people just aren't connecting on any level.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/23 04:12 PM
–

I don't think I was clear enough. The problem is that online norms spread to the outside world. Here's one example - a few years ago everyone got the memo in social media that a man flirting with a woman on public transportation is the fucking worst. So now it is.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/23 03:46 PM
–

Guess I'll die?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/23 03:40 PM
–

My impression is that no woman ever wants to be approached in public, outside of bars and clubs. Other than that, everyone is constantly distracting themselves looking at their phones or otherwise occupied.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/23 03:39 PM
1

If a woman gives you the eyes, or gives you the look. IOW, if you're not physically attractive enough to get "the look" then don't even bother.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/23 03:38 PM
1

Stick to places like bars or clubs where women expect to be hit on and are already in an open mindset. And if you don't drink? Not to mention that I don't know how people even have conversations in these places since they're so loud
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/23 03:37 PM
–

bars. That's the number 1 place to visit new people. Almost every bar I've ever been to was too loud to even have a conversation, and I don't like drinking Visit your local park Most of us don't have local parks visit your nearest library I love libraries and go to my local library at least once a week. These are quiet places. Who's chit-chatting in the library? Go to comedy clubs... local music shows... sports games People rarely go to these things alone. Any time I've seen a woman at these eve…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/23 03:35 PM
–

What is a safe and appropriate public space? Because it seems like we usually hear it's nowhere other than bars.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/23 03:26 PM
–

More of us spend more of our lives on the internet every year, so the internet is the real world now. Even people who aren't terminally online themselves can't change that.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/23 03:21 PM
1

So personality isn’t even a factor then? It’s just about money and looks to you? Man, that’s bleak.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/23 02:38 PM
–

I totally agree. Friends are essential
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/23 04:56 AM
–

So, it’s never the father who leaves, or becomes abusive, or dies… And why are we actively denigrating the parent who stayed, while the one who peaces out doesn’t warrant a mention? Your smooth-brained overgeneralizing is as predictable as it is worthless.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/23 04:09 AM
–

My mom raised me on her own for 5 years and worked her ass off to do it. She worked 2 waitress jobs to give me a good home and pay for childcare, working 14 hours a day, 6 days a week, with no help from anyone. Most of my memories of her before the age of 7 was seeing her exhausted. She never took a dime in welfare. Do you want to know why she was single? Because my biological father was an abuser. “Disgusting”? Eat a hot bowl of dicks.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/23 03:36 AM
–

Speak for yourself, because I don’t care one way or another how much sex a woman had before we get together. There are bigger things to appreciate or be annoyed by. I’ll just say it, your post sounds like sexual insecurity.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/23 01:06 AM
–

A big part of the problem is it’s becoming increasingly difficult to have a friend group in the first place. The older you get, the more people in your peer group get married and have kids snd careers. Everyone becomes more unavailable for just hanging out, and even when they do they usually prefer to only hang out with other couples.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/23 01:01 AM
2

If bad boy strategy worked for every woman, women over 25-30 would also be attracted to bad boys. I think some still are to some extent, but they usually go into it expecting nothing more than a fling. For most women over 30 bad boys are only good for cheating with or brief flings. Same deal with men over 30 either cheating or having flings with women who are much younger than they are.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/23 08:11 PM
1

The right pretty much places straight men at the top of the hierachy and denigrates everyone else. I understand how that is attractive to men I'm done with the gross generalizations here, especially when you're not even accurate with your stereotypes. You're completely ignoring the impact that generational differences make - male boomers still have a homophobic streak, while most men under 40 really don't give a damn about who other men decide to have sex with. Not to mention cultural difference…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/23 05:24 PM
3

I remind myself that Reddit skews young, and that people in their teens and early 20s make really bad decisions based on sex appeal. Most people, for most of their lives, won’t go for crazy and dangerous.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/23 04:21 PM
1

I’ve never said sexism against men is worse. It’s milder, but it’s also more socially acceptable. We can talk about problems that women face and that’s fine. Talking about challenges that men deal with is automatically seen as suspect, if not proof of misogyny.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/23 04:10 PM
1

People should just treat each other with respect, period. After 25 years, I've started disengaging from the left largely because of this emphasis on collective guilt and stereotyping when it suits them. The right overcorrects to seeing everything within an individual's control, and the left overcorrects to seeing everyone as no different from their group identity. The latter plays out when denigrating men gets excused by the history of the patriarchy.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/23 03:27 PM
–

The life of the average young woman and the young man are in so many different places that this cannot happen easily. ​ The bigger problem is that we live more and more of our lives online, and we're all suffering for it. It's not just that young men and women aren't interacting as much in person, but people aren't in general. It's actually better for young people since at least they have college. Try being over 40 and moving to a new city where you don't know anyone, something I did this year. …
/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/23 02:08 PM
1

The irony is that being on the receiving end of this can convince young men in particular that they’re already misogynistic by nature, so why bother trying to be otherwise? I’ve been on the left end of the political spectrum for most of my life, and over the last 10 years the message has increasingly been “listen, shut up, and apologize for the rest of your life for social and historical events you had no say in”. I’m getting some of that in this conversation.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/23 01:39 PM
1

Again, what does any of this have to do with 99.99999% of the men walking around on this planet? Most of us weren’t alive when these power structures were laid down, and the vast majority of us aren’t fans of Andrew Tate. You’re still doing the collective guilt thing. Do you really not see that?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/23 01:35 PM
1

I understand the historical context. What I haven’t seen yet is an answer to why every man on earth should treated as personally responsible for that history.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/23 01:29 PM
1

Adding to this, how much control do you think an average man has over “our current systemic structure”? This is what happens when you look at men as a monolith. Vanishingly few are captains of industry, political leaders, or media moguls. It’s like being born with a penis is all it takes to get blamed for the patriarchy.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/23 01:24 PM
2

It makes me think they’re not all that bright and lack accountability. It also pisses me off because I have women I’m close to. And where did my comment about male self-loathing and suicide give you the assumption that misogyny makes me happy? WTF?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/23 01:21 PM
1

What does the history of our planet have to do with any one specific guy who’s only been alive for a fraction of that history? You’re describing collective guilt. You’re justifying taking out grievances against a collective on a specific person. That’s usually been seen as wrong, but it’s ok if the target is a man.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/23 01:19 PM
3

I believe what you're saying. I'm not talking about common behavior here, I'm talking about norms. The difference is that even in polite society we accept it when women make blanket negative statements about men. That's not just seen as acceptable, it's seen as empowering. When men make blanket negative statements about women, the general consensus is that it's wrong.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/23 01:11 PM
1

The thing is it doesn't take many experiences of being falsely accused of harassing behavior for a man to want to give up on offline flirting outside of bars. Even once is enough. The potential consequences are too severe, and believe it or not most men feel shitty when it happens.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/23 01:08 PM
3

Another example - how women are increasingly on a hair trigger to call a man "creepy". The definition of that word has been so watered down that it's become a bullying word used against men who show any sign of anxiety in public, and especially if he's physically unattractive.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/23 01:06 PM
4

Online especially. No one bats an eye if someone posts about how men are shit, categorically. That bleeds over into everyday life. You brought up deepfakes and Andrew Tate fans, as if these things are anywhere near as common. Both are disgusting and literally criminal, and I'd love to see them disappear - I'm not sticking up for these things. I'm saying they're way, way more rare than messages denigrating men.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/23 01:02 PM
1

Dating apps have become real life though, since people spend more and more of their lives online. On top of that, it’s become more socially unacceptable for a man to flirt with women in public. Dating apps and bars are ok, try it anywhere else and a man risks being accused of harassment.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/23 12:47 PM
6

The difference is you’re talking about a lunatic fringe and the other person is describing common attitudes.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/23 12:43 PM
4

Of course people are more accepting in a support group. The rest of the world is different. It seems like as soon as people hear about a man struggling with loneliness or social anxiety and how he can’t figure out how to get a date, people immediately jump to that incel label and all the negative assumptions it implies. And I’m not just speaking from an outsider’s perspective here. I’ve had anxiety and depression for most of my life. Bottom line is when a man has any kind of mental health issue …
/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/23 12:19 PM
6

I struggled to connect with people for much of my life and I only blamed myself. You act as if men are somehow immune to self-loathing, and suicide statistics say otherwise.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/23 06:01 PM
27

It adds insult to injury and goes beyond what you're describing here. We've gotten to the point where if a man, especially a young man, struggles with social anxiety issues, he gets labeled as an incel. That was me 20 years ago, and it pisses me off to see how eager people are to kick a man in the teeth when he's already struggling. The irony is this only adds fuel to the fire and encourages the worst fringe groups. (even the word incel itself is used almost exclusively as an insult - there's ve…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/23 05:54 PM
1

As is the case with a lot of people in this sub, I think your generalizations are vague and unwarranted.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/08/23 08:44 PM
3

I think the first 4 women are cute, and the last 2 are significantly older than me. Women overestimate men’s standards for physical beauty and I blame advertising and Hollywood for that. (Also, don’t forget the fact that gay men are overrepresented in the fashion industry, which sets a lot of cultural expectations for how women should look. What they prefer to see in their models isn’t going to mirror what most men appreciate, for obvious reasons)
/r/PurplePillDebate14/08/23 02:04 PM
1

You’re either generalizing way too much, or you’re very young. I know there are a lot of women who don’t fall into these stereotypes, and if there weren’t I never would have been able to date.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/23 01:32 PM
1

None of my female friends are like that.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/23 01:28 PM
1

“Being a male friend also implies a lot of responsibilities with usually zero reward” I don’t understand this. The reward is having a friend, something too many people have too few of - and especially men. At the same time, I agree with you that there’s nothing wrong with being clear about what we want. If a man wants a partner and not a friend, he’s doing the right thing by cutting off a woman who’s already attached.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/23 01:22 PM
7

Absolutely not. No one is obligated to date someone else, even if their reason is that they can't handle the other person's mental health challenges (or whatever other euphemism for it that you feel comfortable with). I'm a hetero guy with autistic friends, and even on a platonic level it can be challenging to relate with autists because of the communication barriers involved. Romantic relationships require communication that's a lot deeper and more complicated than that, so I can't blame anyone…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/08/23 10:25 PM
3

I think you're the one who doesn't understand basic male anatomy. No man gets hard and stays that way, ffs.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/08/23 10:21 PM
-1

Women are far less likely to date men who earn less than them than the reverse.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/08/23 10:16 PM
2

I don't know, at least dildos stay hard.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/08/23 10:14 PM
6

“Find one woman you like and who likes you back” That’s already 47 steps ahead of what OP is talking about though. Your advice here is no better than “be successful”.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/23 05:24 PM
1

Your comment uses women’s conditioning as an explanation for why their still passive in dating. Men have been urged to overcome their social conditioning for decades, but somehow it’s still acceptable for women to use it as an excuse to avoid the risk of rejection. It’s like you want 1950s social conditioning to disappear, except for the part that lets you sit back and let men do all the initiating. How is that fair?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/23 05:17 PM
2

No way, that’s too sad for words.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/23 04:52 PM
1

Ok, but now you’re inventing a new hypothetical that wasn’t in the post. No one said anything about a guy who’s never attracted a woman before. Lot of absolute thinking here.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/23 02:17 PM
7

You're assuming and generalizing a ton.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/23 02:00 PM
3

It's a quantity vs. quality problem. Women have male interest in quantity, but most of that is low-quality. We get that. But why are we just assuming that the quality issue doesn't exist for men too? People are people regardless of their sex, and most people are by definition mediocre, most are selfish, lack emotional IQ, lack motivation, and all the rest. You're going to find a good partner quicker if you have more options than if you have fewer, that's just a simple fact. Saying most men aren'…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/23 07:58 AM
6

Women don't need to worry about being treated like a sex pest just for chatting up a man they don't know yet. Rejection is one thing, I learned to let that roll off my back a long time ago. But the way our culture has changed in the last 10 years or so, I wouldn't be caught dead flirting with a woman outside of a bar or on a dating app, and I strongly dislike both. It's just not worth the risk.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/23 07:50 AM
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