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Electronic_Sun2314 Archive

View 3 posts and 34 comments by Electronic_Sun2314 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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1

This is the exact reason I will never marry again. I want someone who WANTS to support themselves.
/r/Divorce_Men11/08/22 01:09 PM
1

My advise would be to go to counseling with your wife. Also individual therapy. You are clearly trying to figure out your next steps in your life and taking the time to work with professionals can really accelerate that learning curve. Also, the exit relationships are very challenging because you haven’t taken the time to do the self work to decide what you really want. I tried to make my first few relationships post separation be long term romantic relationships, that was just the mindset I was…
/r/Divorce_Men10/08/22 03:43 PM
8

Exactly! My STBX thinks I should be a wallflower and let her AND her mother run my family while I am just a paycheck.
/r/Divorce_Men15/12/21 12:21 PM
1

Can you go into more detail about moving out as leverage? I currently have set the garage up as a “studio” for me to get give me some space when I need it.
/r/Divorce_Men19/11/21 07:14 PM
1

Thank you!
/r/Divorce_Men19/11/21 07:11 PM
2

That is what I want. Just $3k for a 1-2 bedroom apartment is a killer.
/r/Divorce_Men19/11/21 07:11 PM
1

I understand. I have already considered the in-kind support. My attorney has said it is very easy for folks to “get away” with that sort of thing and it would be difficult to prove it as income. I plan on imputing income. She has a stem degree and could be making significantly more than minimum wage. In CA minimum wage is $31k. She hasn’t worked in 10 years and her field is in demand even if she has to start back at near entry level she could make $40-$50k or more.
/r/Divorce_Men19/11/21 07:10 PM
1

It is not. We are in a different unassociated rental home. She would move in there when moving out of this rental.
/r/Divorce_Men19/11/21 07:06 PM
1

She can stay because her family has a rental condo that she will live in. And I’m happy for that so the kids can stay in the school district. I can’t imagine living with a roommate with children as small as mine. So far that idea has been off the table.
/r/Divorce_Men19/11/21 04:55 PM
2

One of the things that is attractive about moving to the cheap town a distance away is to get some distance from a controlling in-law (in-family?) situation. I feel like that distance will help me re-establish who I am as a person, versus who I am in a controlling, manipulative family.
/r/Divorce_Men19/11/21 04:52 PM
1

Yeah, I was worried about that. I might be able to find something in this range.
/r/Divorce_Men19/11/21 04:50 PM
2

Her family owns a rental condo that she will stay in. I’m still not sure if she will break even, but her family will take care of her. I’m really bummed and feeling in a financial pickle. Not a great feeling for a guy with an advanced stem degree and a good career.
/r/Divorce_Men19/11/21 04:50 PM
2

I’ll take a different angle here. You need to put yourself first. It’s a taken me almost 2 years of therapy to realize how much internal guilt I harbor for hurting other people. Truth is, I only hurt them because I am not honest with myself and them upfront and stringing them along after the relationship should be over only causes them more pain.
/r/Divorce_Men19/11/21 02:12 PM
1

I have used AirBNB and HomeAway, they have apps, it’s super convenient.
/r/Divorce_Men23/10/21 03:46 PM
1

You can get an Airbnb, I have gotten on month to month before. Fully furnished, it takes the pressure off.
/r/Divorce_Men23/10/21 02:41 PM
1

That is what I did when we first separated. Put bunk beds in the bedroom and put a twin behind the couch in the living room for me. It wasn’t too bad, I was just happy to be away from her.
/r/Divorce_Men11/10/21 01:05 PM
2

Absolutely, my STBX tries to draw me in and get an emotional response out of me. I have been working on not arguing and it has made a world of difference. You disagree with me, ok, agree to disagree. We used to fight so hard always to win or be right or for me to attempt to justify myself. The truth is she is better at thinking on her feet and better with words so I always lost.
/r/Divorce_Men11/10/21 12:50 PM
2

Thanks man. I’ll PM you. We can share experiences and bare minimum bitch and vent to each other! Lol
/r/Divorce_Men01/10/21 03:45 PM
2

Thanks. My kids are pretty young. Elementary school aged. I’m hoping they are young enough that it just becomes the new norm.
/r/Divorce_Men30/09/21 09:32 PM
5

I’m so glad to hear the kids have thrived!! That makes me smile!
/r/Divorce_Men30/09/21 08:44 PM
4

Yeah, I am so fucking done with the concept of marriage. How fucking stupid is it? I am flawed as fuck and I know it. The issue is when folks aren’t aware of their flaws.
/r/Divorce_Men30/09/21 08:44 PM
4

Thanks, my kids are my number 1 priority, I am just worried about the pain they will be going through. I know they will be fine in the long run. I just hate to see them in pain. I hate to see anyone in pain which is why I have stayed in my marriage this long, to avoid hurting my STBXW, but I have been hurting her all along by wishing she was different, wishing she was what I wanted.
/r/Divorce_Men30/09/21 08:43 PM
5

Oh, I am so fucking jaded, I believe marriage is a bullshit construct and we have had the wool pulled over our eyes. I feel like I have had my eyes opened the last few years.
/r/Divorce_Men30/09/21 08:40 PM
1

Ah, excellent point. I need to do more of that in my life. Answer the question that is asked without divulging extra information. I do it at work, and I never thought I would have to do it at home.
/r/Divorce_Men23/09/21 08:36 PM
1

Thank you, that is great advice. My plan was actually to get the cheapest place I could find (within reason) temporarily until everything shakes out. My eventual goal is to move to something larger and stating that out during the proceedings is a great idea.
/r/Divorce_Men23/09/21 05:52 PM
2

Thank you for your advise. I don’t think you are wrong at all. In fact you have me thinking if a studio is really the right choice. I will definitely keep an eye on 1 BR places as well to have a separate bedroom for the kids. Then I can partition the living room into a bedroom for me and a living dining area.
/r/Divorce_Men22/09/21 03:20 PM
2

I know a studio sounds terrible but the cost of living is so high in our area that the courts are much more forgiving.
/r/Divorce_Men22/09/21 12:56 PM
1

Thank you.
/r/Divorce_Men22/09/21 12:54 PM
1

Lol, thank you.
/r/Divorce_Men22/09/21 12:53 PM
1

The calculator includes spousal support. And I do fear the duration of spousal support due to a 10+ year marriage.
/r/Divorce_Men22/09/21 12:49 PM
5

STBX has a bachelors degree in a science field. She would have no trouble getting a decent job if she actually looked and applied for one.
/r/Divorce_Men22/09/21 01:10 AM
2

Yeah, I plan to keep the kids on my insurance. In CA child support is directly proportional to income, income difference and % physical custody.
/r/Divorce_Men21/09/21 10:27 PM
4

Absolutely not. I now don’t believe in the concept of marriage for me. I’m just so jaded at the idea that I thought I could make a decision that would bound me for the rest of my life.
/r/Divorce_Men18/09/21 03:47 PM
2

That is exactly what I am looking towards and hoping for. I have no illusions that it won’t be hell for a few years. We already had a separation for almost a year and the feeling of finally taking action to meet my needs. Sadly, I went back (due to finances) and now am struggling again. I’m getting my ducks in a row this time, last time was an explosive mess. Finances will still be a huge issue, but what cost can you put in mental health?
/r/Divorce_Men08/09/21 03:42 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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