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Elegant_Flight Archive

View 5 posts and 77 comments by Elegant_Flight on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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19

Someone is getting dumped.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/04/20 05:19 PM
40

Give her a hug!! She needs it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/04/20 05:17 PM
20

“COmMUniCaTIng” about this issue and your concerns is not the right approach. You are not going to get a strait answer from him. I would be very skeptical about your relationship and listen to behaviours more than lip service. I think “not dating for 10 years because he was getting his PhD” is a bullshit response. A lot of people get their PhDs while dating. Tread lightly, protect yourself and be actively thinking about how the power differential may be manifesting in your relationship. A man wh…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/04/20 02:32 PM
5

How can you build one when not using OLD?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/04/20 09:08 PM
14

This is disgusting. Ewwww.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/04/20 07:01 AM
2

It sounds like he was triangulating you with his wife. That’s an awful position to be in. I’m sorry you had to deal with that. Yes, being an attractive women is difficult when you work for men because most of them don’t see the issues with hitting on us.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/04/20 06:43 AM
6

This is great. Thank you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/04/20 08:44 PM
3

Thanks lady. Yeah. It sucks.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/04/20 06:04 PM
8

Yeah. They all have revenge boners.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/04/20 09:03 PM
11

This!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/04/20 12:27 PM
13

Yup. And we make less money than they do. They better not complain about paying for a date when women make so much less for every dollar a man makes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/04/20 08:15 PM
26

We should send them to Mars with Elon Musk.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/04/20 07:12 PM
3

I left Christianity due to my education (seeing that the church is too patriarchal and rigid) and also when I left an extremely patriarchal “Christian” marriage.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/04/20 04:52 PM
13

Well done, lady!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/04/20 07:05 AM
12

So ladies, the moral of the story is to not demonstrate blind kindness to men, focus on your pleasure and dump quickly.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/04/20 08:27 AM
2

I agree that the therapist has to be a good fit. When screening therapists (yes.... you should interview your potential therapists if you have the privilege to accessing services) you should ask them how they feel about various feminist issues/the FDS perspective and how one should handle toxic relationships. If you don’t agree with the therapists’ responses and if you don’t get a good impression when you meet with them for the first time, don’t see that therapist. Also, I agree that they should…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/04/20 02:23 PM
2

Done! :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/04/20 08:41 AM
7

Totally. I agree. Access to care is a huge issue! For those who have the privilege of attending therapy... DO IT. You will have to carve out the time and resources (financial and mental) to do it, but it will be worth it. But, like what other posters have pointed out, it is SUPER important to find a good fit with your therapist. There are some good therapists and some bad therapists. If you have the resources to shop around, don't stop trying after one experience if it doesn't work for you. Peop…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/04/20 08:34 AM
16

Yes! Pickmeisha ways can also be influenced by cultural mysoginy. However, when you DO receive the education to stand up to the cultural messages you've received your whole life, it takes a strong dose of self-esteem to change your behaviours and go up against the cultural norms. Therapy can help provide you with the support to do that! Also, you may also have a lot of trauma from acting upon your pickmeisha ways and from prioritizing male vs your own happiness; therapy can help you value yourse…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/04/20 10:23 PM
3

Maybe it’s because you’ve posted the same question before and are not listening to the sub’s feedback.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/04/20 08:53 PM
2

I was meaning the comment directly above mine about “all men remarrying younger, childless women.” I don’t think that’s true, as most couples are typically within five years of each other. I’m sorry that this happened to you…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/04/20 11:01 PM
28

I think stating that there are fewer eligible partners for women who divorce or loose their partners is not the healthiest way of framing this and it adds to a scarcity mindset. I think there are HVM in every stage of life. However, it is safe to say that we (except for pickmeishas) may be more picky than men because we realise that we don’t need them as much as they need us.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/04/20 08:56 PM
10

I’m unable to even tolerate romantic comedies and mainstream television anymore!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/20 09:32 PM
22

Thank you for the brave gift of your wisdom.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/03/20 09:28 AM
1

This sounds like sexual grooming. Baaaaaaad....
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/03/20 11:05 PM
17

This!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/20 10:19 AM
1

Seriously, CuriousCat, you should write a book for men about harnessing “Big Dick Energy.”
/r/askFDS20/03/20 09:23 AM
1

This is spot on.
/r/askFDS20/03/20 08:57 AM
10

Move....
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/03/20 02:19 PM
47

Agreed! They want hot lady servants.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/03/20 08:55 AM
12

This is spot on.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/03/20 02:07 AM
15

Thank you. Your post is so necessary and I wish I had FDS years ago. Be proud of the lives that you are changing for the better!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/20 12:10 AM
82

My ex-husband (LVM; was married less than a year... got out early!) told me that I was not allowed to move for my career. Then when I left him (for that and other reasons), I found out during court that he was lying about money and putting money into a hidden savings account (in his name only). He was giving me a $50 a month allowance telling me that we had no money. I wasn’t making anything at the time because I was in graduate school. Therefore, I got a full time job when still doing full time…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/03/20 11:16 PM
14

Love this!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/03/20 01:30 PM
5

First, talk to your therapist about why are you think the therapy might not be working. He or she might provide you with insights about why that might be the case. Evidence-based treatments offered at a local medical center are a good bet. Make sure you feel that your therapist is a good fit. Ask your therapist what he/she recommends. Specific treatments are diagnostically specific and making this decision is best left to someone who understands all your symptoms. It’s better to discuss this wit…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/03/20 07:25 PM
19

Go to therapy
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/03/20 06:49 PM
1

Agreed. My gyno recommends cleaning with an emollient cream because she states that plain ole soap is too harsh for one’s lady parts.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/20 09:25 AM
2

Thank you!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/20 09:20 AM
10

The guys who are leaders in these sports (ie powerlifting and oly lifting) typically are very respectful of women/pick up their weights ect. It’s the guys who are sucky at lifting who typically have a horrible “bro” attitude. Go to a specialist gym instead of your every day gym... The bros just learning how to lift are the worst! And they get all butt hurt when they see you lifting more than they do soon after they just asked you to give up your weights for them. Hahaha...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/20 08:20 AM
2

Hahaha.... this is very “There’s Something About Mary” advice. Reminds me of the Ben Stiller scene.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/03/20 06:41 AM
9

And it starts with us! We can be the movement that makes these big changes happen.... Edit: This post is being crazily down voted. Apparently the scrotes don’t like the vague idea of women waging a “sex strike.”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/03/20 12:34 AM
21

Exactly. That was Jo Biden’s doing. Something all Americans should remember.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/03/20 08:46 PM
51

Several years ago, I was really into learning about beer. I took courses on it and would frequently go to beer tastings at breweries. I was talking about beer once with my friends’ husbands and they told me that the reason why I am single is (note: I didn’t ask them for their opinion) because “I’m too intimidating to men” and that “I should play down my beer knowledge.” I really took this to heart and it messed with my head for several years. I’m really good at and am interested in some typicall…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/03/20 09:36 AM
6

I told a guy that I refuse to see him again because he didn’t respect my boundaries and his response was “good luck finding love... you are going to need it.”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/20 07:31 PM
13

Similar thing has happened to me multiple times. It sucks.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/20 05:28 PM
4

Wow... this response chain is overly obsessive of this guy and is giving him waaaaaaay too much thought. He doesn’t want to be with you. Yes, it may hurt and it may suck because your infatuation love drugs are high this early on when dating someone/it sucks when someone dumps you. That’s legit, but put your big girl panties on, break contact with him (block the guy) and move on. You shouldn’t give someone who doesn’t want to be with you this much headspace. Nor should FDS encourage obsessing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/20 11:41 AM
22

He’s not that into you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/03/20 06:53 PM
17

Yes. And this is case and point... the author of this post is a man. Creeeeaaapppy.... Reported this slime ball.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/03/20 10:29 PM
41

It was posted on the 17th of Feb. You can see who wrote the post and the original content. It was heavily edited down. Original post was slandering.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/03/20 12:22 AM
1

Thanks!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/02/20 02:53 PM
2

I would like more advice about how to retreat without making him orgasm. Are you suggesting starting with oral or fully engaging in intercourse the first time but stopping after you orgasm. What if he can’t get you to orgasm before he orgasms himself. Details about retreating would be helpful.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/02/20 09:21 AM
5

Yeah... if you listen, they expose their red flags pretty quickly. You have to make sure that you take out your ear plugs when going on dates!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/02/20 03:47 PM
7

Haha.... I interacted with this creep online too. He gets around!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/02/20 02:51 PM
4

No. But it could be easy to engage in pickmeisha behaviours.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/20 07:48 PM
2

Agreed! And not worth the agony.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/20 06:04 PM
4

Awwww... thanks! I hope you and your therapist can use this info together to work some new things out.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/20 02:57 AM
8

:(
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/20 02:56 AM
2

Yay!! Thanks. So glad it was helpful.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/20 02:14 AM
10

I read that it is the tendency for anxious people to immediately turn back to OLD to look for validation when feeling anxious (this is different from screening dates for real danger/real red flags like the ones we identify on FDS) rather than sitting with ones anxiety about being rejected (which may not be accurate but a false alarm driven from a hypervigilance about being rejected that is based upon early childhood interactions) that the author is saying causes problems.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/20 02:08 AM
8

Please!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/02/20 08:42 PM
4

No problem! The author’s psychology today articles are super solid.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/02/20 08:08 PM
49

Love this quote: “Online dating platforms are a place where people shop for partners and interactions without worrying about real-world consequences, and that one of the primary causes of not sticking with one love partner is that virtual proximity has become more important than maintaining proximity to the real people who are already in our lives.”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/02/20 07:45 PM
33

While I put something together, for those who want to address attachment concerns, the best thing to do is to find a good therapist who has knowledge on attachment theory. It takes some time to work on your attachment related dynamics; having a good therapist is super helpful for doing this. Plus, The Attached Book by Levine and Keller is awesome. It is in the FDS recommended reading list. Also, the posts by Hal Shorey on Psychology Today are golden. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-f…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/02/20 07:30 PM
12

Thanks Lady!! :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/02/20 07:20 PM
132

Cool! I’ll write a full post about it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/02/20 04:08 PM
110

Yeah. For those who have an anxious attachment style (pickmeishas?), dating avoidant partners can be especially traumatising. They are often drawn to avoidant people because of the “thrill” associated with an insecure attachment pairing and because it recreates attachment trauma during early life (that led to their anxious attachment), which feels unconsciously familiar. People mistake attachment anxiety for attraction. This is why it’s good to vet partners! Find a secure person but know that th…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/02/20 03:59 PM
471

This is a very common avoidant attachment style technique. Give a full bowl, then if their romantic interest gets too close (this creates anxiety for an avoidant person), they devalue their romantic interests’ positive strengths (to create separation and decrease anxiety due to closeness) and may string them along (because validation feels good) until they start to walk away. Then when the avoidantly attached person senses their interest is out the door, their anxiety about closeness decreases a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/02/20 03:46 PM
4

Yeah... I watched his full program pre-#MeToo. I wonder if it has changed post the #MeToo movement.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/20 02:04 AM
13

He is a former PUA instructor (teaching men to pick up women) who decided that there was money in teaching a variation of these techniques to women. His popularity is due to his own PUA techniques. The guy is a master charmer.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/20 01:55 AM
4

I watched all of his videos (former paid subscription). Although I like his focus on women being their best version of their self and focusing on increasing confidence, I really don’t like that he says that in order to “keep a guy” that a women should convey to their man that are willing to do “anything” in bed when in a committed relationship (except threesomes, which break this “commitment.”).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/20 01:51 AM
7

Thank you so much for the recommendation! It’s a really great show and reminder of the importance of girlfriends.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/02/20 07:27 PM
2

Thanks lady!! Yay to working on ourselves and becoming the best version that we can be!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/02/20 10:50 AM
17

Anxious attachment due to “stuff” from childhood. I’m now working on this with an awesome therapist and have been making great headway. Trying to live my best life and be the best version of myself. I have some ways to go, but I’m getting there.... Trying to visualise my future self in two years and be the person that I want to be. Also, I’m working on being present with friends and being a better friend instead of falling into pickmeisha tendencies, which were associated with anxiety about need…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/02/20 10:58 PM
16

I agree and also feel that Pickmes also tend to have an anxious attachment style. I mentioned this in an earlier post... In the handbook, you feature the book Attached by Levine and Heller. This excellent book talks about various attachment styles. And, with this knowledge, it seems to me that the Pathological Pickmes may have a preoccupied attachment style/strategies/tendencies. It seems as if the skills implemented via this Reddit forum might help them lean towards becoming more secure/improve…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/02/20 02:58 AM
5

Same thing happened to me last year. Dump his ass. Wish I would have dumped my long distance ex’s ass sooner.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/02/20 05:00 PM
39

I am single and bought myself a dozen red roses. Valentine’s Day is the best time to celebrate the most important kind of love... self-love.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/02/20 07:17 AM
3

In the handbook, you feature the book Attached by Levine and Heller. This excellent book talks about various attachment styles. And, with this knowledge, it seems to me that the Pathological Pickmes may have a preoccupied attachment style/strategies/tendencies. It seems as if the skills implemented via this Reddit forum might help them lean towards becoming more secure/improve their self esteem and move away from their preoccupied pickme tendencies. I have empathy for the Pickmes because I’m gue…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/02/20 12:24 PM
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