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Elisa_LaViudaNegra Archive

View 1 posts and 141 comments by Elisa_LaViudaNegra on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
1

PICKME CULTUREElisa_LaViudaNegra/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/11/20 11:07 PM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
60

I got catfished like this. Met up with a man expecting a certain look. He hadn’t had a haircut in a year and it showed. None of his photos reflected his current look. Sir. I am not fighting with any man walking this planet for hairties. It didn’t work out for other reasons on top of that one.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/03/21 12:49 AM
487

I have a friend from childhood who married the man she started dating at 17. (We’re in our 30s now.) I will never forget attending our other friend’s wedding years ago while her firstborn was a baby and her husband was complaining about “babysitting” while his wife did bridesmaid duties. She even asked her own father to come along to this wedding weekend and help her husband watch the baby because he was acting so put out. 🗣 IT’S NOT BABYSITTING WHEN IT IS YOUR CHILD She just had her fourth chil…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/21 01:45 PM
30

My LVM ex used to have flowers delivered to my job if I said I was having a challenging day. Or for no reason at all. By the end, I was buying my own Valentine’s Day flowers and pretending to my coworkers they were from him because I was too embarrassed to say I bought them myself. 🤡🤡🤡
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/21 06:26 PM
27

This clown’s profile on FB said “future millionaire” and all he can talk about is these two. What a weirdo. Why is he so obsessed with them??
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/21 06:24 PM
23

I’m fine, for the most part. This is a guy who rejected me over something he considers a dealbreaker but really isn’t, if he were to do some basic fact finding. Since he didn’t, I can only take that to mean he’s just not as into me as I thought he was, so I need to act accordingly. It just hurts because I know he was all in on me prior to that. But that’s kind of the point - if he could be dissuaded from pursuing me this easily, then clearly he wasn’t all in on me. C’est la vie. 🤷🏻‍♀️ How are yo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/02/21 04:10 PM
24

He really was. Especially because this was the 2nd time we matched (1st time on Bumble, which I got off of and told him I wasn’t ready to date yet, and this time was on Hinge). He texted me and said, “Maybe this is... fate? 🥰” I was so skeeved out I put my phone down and hoped he went away. Then I got the above. Dodged. A. Bullet.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/02/21 03:55 PM
74

Yes. Yes. Yes. You can send all the paragraphs you want but they don’t care. They know. They just don’t care. I did the same thing yesterday - typed out a whole paragraph and then said to myself, “No. He knows.” And I backspaced and moved on with my life.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/02/21 02:37 PM
142

I once told a match I was in the middle of something and would text him later. Ended up a day and a half later and I was still busy and this dude is not a priority yet. He texts me, “So you meant way later?” It made me feel so gross that I blocked him immediately. Bro, I don’t know you. You don’t know WHAT was going on with me and your first instinct is to be shitty and act entitled to my time when you’ve done dick all but find me attractive? Kick rocks forever. I hate it here.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/02/21 02:33 PM
29

Bingo. I have gotten 2 absolutely clear F you signals from men from my past in the past 4 days and they are banished to the hellmouth forever. Those chapters are superglued shut. Only new disappointments, no old ones. 💀
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/02/21 11:55 PM
15

I don’t have the brain cells to try and figure this one out. The fact that men like this find partners and keep them is just... yikes to the nth degree.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/02/21 08:19 PM
2

Men like this don’t want to love us. They want to possess us. Fuck that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/01/21 05:41 PM
129

!!!! Isn't it wild to realize that some men in your past legit didn't even LIKE you, based on their behavior and words towards you? I was just thinking about this the other day. I had an ex who I'm 99% sure liked absolutely NOTHING about me but was so lonely that he dated me. I just-
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/01/21 07:15 PM
3

Thank you. I’ve done a lot of healing and leveling up since then.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/01/21 05:22 PM
35

Yep. My assault sent me into full fawn response. I couldn’t do anything else.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/01/21 03:14 PM
161

Absolutely. If my man has any woman under the impression that she has a shot while he’s with me, I’ll make it easy for them both. Take him. I don’t want him anymore.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/01/21 07:09 PM
24

🎤 COME ON COME ON COME ONNNNN 🎤
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/01/21 11:27 PM
54

I firmly believe that the emotionally abusive man I dated during a pivotal point of my college career shut me out of career opportunities in my program. I spent more time managing his insecurity and feefees over my success than pursuing my dreams. I’ll never forgive myself for letting that happen.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/01/21 02:13 AM
18

I heard Lizzo’s “Soulmate” for the first time and I almost cried. I needed that song years ago and this post reminds me of it. We are our own soulmates.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/01/21 10:46 PM
25

I reject every single man with a photo like this. Every single one. Can you imagine kissing that face, knowing that some men (especially the kind who do this) are less fastidious about hygiene and grooming than most women? Crumbs and cooking smells and god knows what else? Yuck.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/01/21 07:22 PM
9

Sis, I KNOW that’s right. 💀💀💀
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/01/21 03:44 AM
103

I was talking to a super friendly, kind, HVM coworker. I said something about always having a notebook on me to write down my great ideas before I forgot them and he really liked that. A few days later, I found a little package on my desk. It was a brand new notebook with a beautiful design and a note from him that said, “I was buying one for myself and got one for you too, for all your great ideas!” Before anyone asks, he’s married and has only ever been upstanding and appropriate. It was so ki…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/01/21 03:54 PM
16

Howling. My LEO ex claimed to have no cash savings other than retirement (the more I think about it, the more I feel like this was a lie to make me continue to pay him) and insisted on a pre-nup. Bro, WHAT money do you think I’m coming for? You have none!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/01/21 04:41 AM
5

Right. “Life is just disappointing, so stop thinking you can do better than me. You can, but stop thinking it.” No. You choose to see it that way. I can choose differently.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/01/21 04:14 AM
16

My LVM ex said something striking right before we broke up. I was talking about all the things I would never get the chance to do if I married him. He said, “Well, that’s life. No one gets everything they want.” Sir, that might be YOUR life and YOUR decision, but it will never be mine. He was really projecting his narrow existence onto me and trying to convince me that better isn’t an option. Nah. Better was mine for the taking and he knew it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/01/21 04:07 AM
25

There’s a podcast called The Read that has some merch with the phrase “break up with him” on it. I think I need to finally buy it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/21 05:11 PM
34

YES. Some of the meanest, most heartless exes I have looked like bridge trolls. I dated them for their personality. 😑
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/01/21 04:46 PM
40

The bar just keeps descending into new circles of hell. My god.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/01/21 04:01 AM
35

👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼 LOUDER!! It is NEVER too late to leave a connection that is draining you. Period. No matter how long you’ve been in said connection. Your happiness doesn’t have an expiration date.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/01/21 07:02 PM
4

Uh, it was ABSOLUTELY his place to step in and tell this little freeloading shit what was what. Especially if the dad spent his money on gas to get him there, food to eat while he was there, electricity to charge this boy’s precious phone, etc. He should have been DELIGHTED to go on a sunset walk with his girlfriend whose family had shown such hospitality, especially if that was all that was being asked in return. Come on. Parents, please teach your children to be more gracious than this flushab…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/12/20 05:36 PM
21

I will never forget the night my ex-fiancé knew I was coming home late from work after commuting 40 miles each way, getting home at 8pm (after having left the house that morning at 6:30am) and the house was a mess and everyone was still in front of the TV watching a show since 5pm (I know because their routine was predictable). The kitchen was a mess. They hadn’t even cleaned their own stuff up, let alone the kitchen, which was covered in dirty pots and plates that they had dirtied. This man and…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/12/20 05:28 PM
13

SAME. I'm looking for friends just like these.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/12/20 05:29 AM
20

My ex absolutely would have done this if I'd actually married him. He never actually put together the pre-nup he insisted on, but I guarantee if he did, he'd stipulate that if he passed, I'd only get anything that was left over after his kids got their share. Even though it was likely this only would have happened after they were both adults. He would have had to have savings and a house that was worth something for that to happen, but it's the principle of the thing. The best gift I gave myself…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/12/20 05:14 AM
24

This is it. This right here. Men reveal FAR more about their character when you let them down somehow than any other time. Do they lose or face disappointment with dignity or ugliness? THAT is his character.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/12/20 04:48 AM
14

5'2" and I am honestly good with dating my height or taller. I really haven't met a man shorter than me since middle school. We dated. He cheated on me. SMH. It's not the height that bothers me or doesn't bother me. It's whether he's confident and honest about it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/12/20 04:47 AM
39

Period. If you have to ask to be a man’s priority, you never will be.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/12/20 03:40 AM
13

Lord, be a wall of discernment so that I don’t ever invite a man like this into my life, let alone procreate with him. In your name we pray. Amen. 🙏🏼
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/12/20 11:01 PM
6

It wasn’t my choice but I hope he appreciates it later in life. I know it’s the right thing to do. Right now it’s clear he’s uncomfortable.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/12/20 04:51 PM
101

I could have written this myself. My ex only wanted the vicarious enjoyment of the fun, exciting life I was going to give myself with his help or without it. He had no interest in pouring back into me in that way. He just wanted to ride my coattails. I hate that this is so common.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/12/20 07:05 PM
6

I have no idea what that means and I have absolutely no desire to. 🙃
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/12/20 07:02 PM
10

Affirmations said to yourself in the mirror. I’m dead serious. Write down beliefs you want to hold about yourself as if you already have them. Sit down in front of a mirror (if you have a vanity, this is a great place to do this because it’s a space where you focus on yourself). Look at yourself and either say the affirmations in your head, or out loud, and just let it resonate. Don’t argue with yourself, don’t negate it, and stop negotiating against your own worth. Things like: I am worthy of e…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/12/20 06:58 PM
5

Right??? Like, bro. Please don’t let me distract you from your precious meal. 💀 Damn, just come right out and let me know what a low priority I am to you. Make it easy on me to quit being attracted to you in any way, shape or form.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/12/20 05:23 PM
16

There's a guy from my past who's been hitting on me HARD lately after sliding into my DMs. I entertained it because I'm curving him pretty hard and he's fun to talk to in general. He knows I'm not dating anyone for the foreseeable future, so why not practice flirting on someone I'm not attached to. Earlier today, he asked if we could video chat tonight. I said sure. He messaged me a couple of hours ago and ladies, talking to him was like pulling teeth. He went from super chatty and engaging to l…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/12/20 03:34 AM
8

I'd be weirded out by this. Even my most reclusive, weird exes had other men they were close to. Does he have platonic female friends? My only question is, does this mean he's going to expect you to be his only friend and confidant? Because that's a red flag for me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/12/20 03:26 AM
5

Use that anger to fuel your forgiveness (that's for you, not for his benefit) and healing so you can level up so much he barely recognizes you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/12/20 03:25 AM
5

The handbook has a framework for the pre-date interview. Definitely read over that. Also, I'd have no qualms about telling him that Olive Garden will make it through the pandemic just fine, and you'd prefer to support a smaller business that needs the support. Or you can go full joke and say something like, "Damn, you can't pick a place better than you'd take your 8-year-old niece to celebrate her first communion?" or whatever is authentic for you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/12/20 03:25 AM
15

I’ve never thought about this but it’s so true. My ex was almost completely emotionally withdrawn outside the bedroom but so connected, warm, giving and loving inside of it. I felt crazy because I knew he had that side to him but I only saw it when we were intimate.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/12/20 06:39 PM
27

This. If you gotta tell somebody you’re this or that, instead of letting your actions say it for you, then you’re clearly not.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/12/20 06:22 PM
12

Absolutely. My emotionally abusive ex claimed he was an alpha male. Yet he spent more time crying and throwing a tantrum than I ever did in my entire lifetime combined. What a weirdo.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/12/20 06:21 PM
21

Absolutely. In my younger years, I was so starved for love and acceptance and validation that I soaked up love bombing like a sponge. Then I felt crazy when they switched up on me because I KNEW they were capable of acting decently. They had just done it a second ago. Never again.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/12/20 06:10 PM
8

Please heed this. My passive aggressive ex used to tell me EXACTLY how he felt using "humor," then when I said that wasn't funny, he doubled down on why he felt it was funny. Then got mad at me when I brought it up in the future talking about the pattern. You will make yourself crazy trying to get him to own it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/12/20 02:46 AM
9

I know the disappointment, shock and grief is heavy. It's hard to accept that someone you were hopeful about decided to let go of you. The cognitive dissonance of that is very real. But I promise, given some time and perspective, you'll realize that this was a gift. I don't know how and you probably don't either. But it'll become clear with time. Will be thinking of you as you heal.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/12/20 02:44 AM
25

Cut it off with a dude today who was jobless, lives at home, doesn't drive, and doesn't vote. Honestly, WHY do some people put themselves out there to date if they have nothing to offer but the audacity?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/12/20 01:01 AM
115

Not one part of my former engagement/proposal was a surprise. It was such a buzzkill. Men shouldn’t swing too far in the other direction either.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/12/20 04:00 PM
18

OMG. Bingo. If I’m going to be reminded of every kind gesture you’ve ever done for me when I have an issue with you, just save the energy and don’t. Kindness is not meant to be tracked.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/12/20 07:20 PM
2

Right? Like, bro. You look like a leprechaun, you joked about me giving you a blowjob when you barely knew me, and are clearly expecting me to say how high when you say jump. That’s not how things work in my world. If I hear from him again, which I probably will not, I’m just going to block him. Fuck outta here with this foolishness.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/12/20 07:19 PM
18

I communicated a standard to a guy I was talking to. Said I don’t do xyz with dudes that aren’t my monogamous boyfriend. He said “monogamy is great. I just think titles and marriage are arbitrary bullshit.” I know this man in his 30s did not hit me with the same TIRED dusty line that teenage boys use to try and manipulate young girls. I should have stopped talking to him then. He then went on to say that “most girls have a hard time keeping up with him mentally” and he “needs some serious wit.” …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/12/20 12:43 PM
6

I had a NVM ex years ago who didn’t care for one of my friends because she was poly and didn’t really do relationships. He thought “it would rub off on me.” He straight up forbid me from seeing her. Bear in mind, this was one of my DEAREST, attached at the hip friends since I was 11 years old. He drove the biggest wedge between us and honestly, our friendship never recovered, even after I kicked him to the curb. One of the great heartbreaks of my life. We’re still in the same friend group and ch…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/11/20 03:31 PM
6

There it is. They should be a part of your life, not something you do uninterrupted for 16-18 hours a day when you’re off work. He told me once that all he wanted to do was play video games. That’s it. Everything else was an obstacle for him to get through so he could get back to playing video games. I wanted to ask him why the fuck a 40-something father had the exact same hobby as his teenage sons. Honestly it was a turn-off after a while.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/11/20 05:57 AM
2

I know, totally late response, but: there's a poem that has a line about "there are enough ballrooms in you to dance with everyone you'll ever love." OP, your heart will expand to love others in the future if you let it. And it will make room when needed.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/11/20 11:28 PM
5

All my exes kick the tires and see if I'll respond to them after 6 months. Almost like clockwork.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/11/20 11:25 PM
6

I really want to respond to these with "Check on your mom or your grandmother. Not me." But that would be giving attention to someone who doesn't deserve it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/11/20 11:25 PM
11

WaS jUsT tHiNkInG aBoUt YoU aNd WaNtEd To SeE hOw YoU wErEeEeEe Barf. Nothing to rustle up here, dusty. Keep it moving.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/11/20 11:24 PM
13

I do find that there are good dudes who are into different types of gaming. But they are certainly the exception rather than the rule.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/11/20 11:22 PM
13

Oh my god. How did you know my life. My ex really liked that I liked video games and played them myself. But damn if he didn't eventually start treating me like a piece of furniture who would always be there no matter how he acted.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/11/20 11:21 PM
14

YES. They will follow hot streamer girls on Twitch and claim it's because they like the game(s) she plays. Don't ask me how I know.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/11/20 11:20 PM
81

This reminds me of my former would have been SIL. Apparently someone asked who would be cooking Thanksgiving dinner last year if everyone was coming to mine and my ex’s house since he certainly was no Wolfgang Puck. Her answer was, “that’s what [my name] is for!” Oh, word? THAT’S what I’m “for?” To feed a bunch of adults who also have hands and can bring food to our house instead of me panic shopping and cooking 3 hours before you all invited yourselves over? My only purpose in life? Kick rocks.…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/11/20 11:44 PM
37

Yes. I read a tweet somewhere that said something like, “Your trauma is not your fault, but it is your responsibility.” Meaning you didn’t choose to inherit it, but you can choose to heal it so it doesn’t keep poisoning you and others. I really felt that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/11/20 03:04 PM
9

Not LinkedIn!!! The depths of desperation!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/11/20 09:54 PM
78

I once had a real dillweed try to say that men don’t benefit from marriage because of divorce “taking” so much of “their” money. I ripped him a new one telling him that women’s lives are literally shortened from the stress of being married with the opposite happening to men. Not to mention the career benefits of men choosing a wife that allows them to focus on their career while she handles things at home. It’s pathetic, really, that anyone truly believes that men don’t materially benefit from h…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/11/20 03:45 PM
98

🏅🏅🏅 “You keep bringing up old things I said that aren’t how I feel anymore.” -My ex, three weeks ago when we were breaking up. I’m sure he would have loved for me to believe a tiger changes his stripes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/11/20 06:12 AM
16

My friend asked me to add up all the money I spent putting off my breakup with my ex. I realized pretty quickly when I crunched some numbers that I was a side hustle with benefits. Never again.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/11/20 12:26 AM
40

SAY IT SIS!!! I am appalled at how many men on OLD aren’t even putting anything in their profiles and expecting some kind of response. My guy, do you realize how many men you’re competing with??? So weird.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/11/20 05:04 AM
34

Ooh wee. I am steaming mad. I am still in the process of moving out of my now ex-fiancé’s house. We actually spent Sunday night watching TV and chatting. A nice moment. It’s come to my attention that while we were having said nice moment, this grimy motherfucker downloaded Tinder and paid for gold for 6 months. While I was sitting next to him and talking to him. I am such a fool for almost marrying this man who was too cheap to buy a new mattress that didn’t have his ex-wife’s dead skin cells al…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/11/20 03:45 AM
49

Please take my poor woman’s gold. 🏅 I just ended my engagement for many reasons, but one was because I saw how he parented his current kids and I knew, KNEW, that I was going to spend a lifetime being the bad cop, boundary maintaining parent while he was the lax, hands off, Disneyland parent. I value my sanity too much for that, especially because I see how his current kids “turned out” (they’re older teens) and I did not like what I saw. I could have ridden off into the sunset, gotten married a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/20 02:37 PM
110

Or by forfeiting their own dreams to be with a specific man whose life is incompatible with said dreams.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/10/20 11:54 PM
11

I ended my engagement yesterday for very valid reasons (no wrongdoing on either side, just want different things). I know it’s the right decision on so many levels but the doubt and shock is strong. I can’t bring myself to start packing because then it’s real. I would love to hear from anyone who’s ended an engagement and came out the other side stronger and better. I feel pretty weak rn.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/10/20 07:31 PM
21

I had a boyfriend in HS who had a “rule” that if a date didn’t finish her meal, he wasn’t paying for it. We obviously didn’t last long for far more reasons than that. What kind of condescending, food policing nonsense BS is that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/10/20 07:18 PM
6

It's the complete and total audacity and lack of shame for me. This tickled me so thoroughly that I sent it to my friend who's dating. I hope to be quick on my feet like this when they try it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/10/20 09:51 PM
28

The kids are all right.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/10/20 09:44 PM
133

I did this years ago during OLD after a dude told me he was sitting there eating a sandwich and was thinking about us fucking within 5 minutes of talking to me. Bro. You’re raggedy and boring. Blocked immediately and did not look back.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/10/20 03:33 AM
2

I’m not sure what’s worse: men who don’t know these things and have never bothered to teach themselves, or men who pretend not to know just to get out of doing it. I’ve encountered both and they’re both god awful.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/10/20 03:04 AM
3

I've had at least 3 men say to me while laughing, "Oh, stop that. Girls don't poop or fart." ................
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/10/20 02:29 PM
5

I really wonder how people can get all the way to adulthood being that stupid. I mean. I thought I'd heard it all. Wow.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/10/20 02:28 PM
16

You would think them pooping would mean they could tolerate hearing about women doing that. You wouldn’t believe (or maybe you would) how many boys and men insist that women don’t have that bodily function and don’t want to hear about us and that together. Uh, buddy. 🙃 (To be clear, I’m not talking about going into graphic detail.)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/10/20 01:13 PM
38

Don’t let someone live rent-free in your brain. That shit costs!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/10/20 03:59 PM
8

I will never forget the day a partner called me fat and said I ate too many cookies. Meanwhile, his diet consisted of “keto,” which meant energy drinks with fake sugar, cheese, lunch meats, the top layer of salads, super processed keto packaged foods, and nicotine mints. Not a minute spent working out, which I WAS doing. LVM really cannot stand having their own mediocrity reflected back to them. I told him how hurtful it was and he just doubled down. The nerve.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/09/20 08:51 PM
5

Not for long they aren’t, if they’re smart. 🙃
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/09/20 07:49 PM
27

LVM tell on themselves so easily. There are lots of HVM out there who will be the first to board the men are trash train. The ones who bristle at the phrase are the ones who know they're included in the statement. If the skidmarked, hole-ridden boxer briefs fit...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/09/20 05:22 PM
17

Honestly, one of my standards going forward will be not being ashamed to talk to me about cycles and working knowledge of female anatomy. If you want to stick it in me, you better have a basic idea of how the plumbing works. I’m not saying ob/gyn level knowledge, but at least not flagrantly wrong or refusing to discuss something that affects me monthly, sometimes taking me down for the count.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/20 09:37 PM
20

I will never forget learning about the vas deferens at 12. Yet there are still men out there who think we can hold in our periods. SMDH.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/20 09:26 PM
10

I didn’t realize until just now what a show of respect this is.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/09/20 09:40 PM
54

I ain’t giving Fox or this heifer the ad revenue or click.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/09/20 05:53 PM
21

It’s just because you’re in close proximity. That’s all.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/09/20 03:09 AM
3

Oh... my... god. Is it a red flag to anyone else that it took 3 years for this woman to see her monogamous partner’s home? Like, sis, why? I would bet there are far bigger issues here than this nest of filth. You know what. I don’t actually want to know. It’s enough knowing that people like this exist and don’t seek help.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/20 04:34 AM
45

My BFF got a pixie cut a few years ago. Apparently the #1 question she got wasn’t how she felt about it, it was, How does your husband feel about it? The real question is, who the fuck asked him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/20 09:41 PM
314

I hear this most often in the context of hair. Apparently many boyfriends and husbands won’t “let” their girlfriends or wives cut their hair shorter than a certain length. I was once at a wedding reception and one of the young women in the group started shushing us and saying we should be quiet. “Why?” I asked. “My dad is talking,” she said as she turned around and listened. Y’all. He was talking in a completely different group 6 feet behind us and wasn’t paying us any mind. I’ll be damned if I …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/20 02:09 PM
50

I am nauseated. What the actual fuck.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/20 01:09 AM
18

A real conversation I had with my dad once. I was maybe 9 or 10. Me: Hey Dad, do you know where Mom is? Dad: Why do you always ask for her and never me? I’m your father. What do you need? Me: [specific question to which he absolutely did not know the answer, which I knew, but I humored him anyway] Dad: ...Yeah, I don’t know. Go find your mom. I could have 10 seconds ago if you hadn’t just wasted my time, Dad. 💀
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/20 12:58 AM
14

I’m so happy you were able to share such a deep and true love with each other, and sad he was taken from you too soon.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/08/20 11:21 PM
37

There’s something sooooo satisfying about ghosting someone so hard that they begin to question whether you ever existed at all, or if they imagined you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/08/20 05:20 AM
22

Omg. Why can some men never bring up issues until we are bringing up a perfectly reasonable issue with their behavior? Like, why is this the first time I’m hearing about this? Oh. Because you can’t stand to be held accountable so you have to deflect and bring up your thing rather than explain your behavior and apologize. Got it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/20 04:04 AM
5

Every community. Black, Latinx (which can include Black), Asian, etc.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/20 03:37 PM
122

He called YOU selfish for accepting acts of service that you didn’t ask for but appreciated? 🤯 No, he’s selfish because he’s not willing to do this for a woman and he’d rather cut someone else down than admit to his own not shit qualities.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/08/20 10:18 PM
59

Aaaaaabsolutely. My ex turned to me one day, unprompted, and said, “It’s a good thing I’m dating you. No one else is going to want you other than me.” TUH! He was wrong and he knew he was wrong. Trash. That should have been an immediate dump but I used to low key agree with him. ☹️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/08/20 09:33 PM
61

I really hope all the newly divorced and newly single men on OLD apps will take this to heart. I know they won’t.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/08/20 10:49 PM
155

Or even better, at 2am, “u up?”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/08/20 04:22 PM
16

Oh my god. What is it with men who do this? I once was doing a once-over of the office before I left for the night. Last one out. Common courtesy. I went into the back office room that one of the younger biz dev guys had been using for calls all day. TELL ME WHY I found a neat little pile of nail clippings on the corner of the table when there was a bathroom with a trash can mere steps away. Some woman is going to have to deal with that one day because she likes other things about him and I just…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/08/20 05:19 PM
28

Tuh! My only full bio sibling is my big brother. Who offered zero protection or safety against the various creeps and abusers who got to me over the years because he was being bullied himself (he was shy and not super social) and he never cared enough to be a safe person for me to confide in. I see now that he also needed that for himself and neither of us got what we needed. Parents have got to stop projecting entire personalities and roles onto their kids. Misogyny and toxic masculinity hurt e…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/08/20 01:34 PM
13

My mom was the oldest and only girl in a family of five kids. Guess who spent her youth looking after all her little brothers!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/08/20 01:29 PM
144

The EXACT face I make. Ma’am, WHAT?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/08/20 04:20 AM
45

The gall!!! If you’re willing to start a connection with such a significant lie, how else will you disrespect me? Wow.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/20 06:00 PM
8

That quote!! I want to paint it in big letters on my wall!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/07/20 04:36 PM
9

Full of shit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/07/20 04:18 PM
81

And many of them know that, which is why they continue to reach out. 🛢
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/07/20 04:18 PM
95

Wow. This hit me hard. My emotionally abusive ex emailed me 6 months after we broke up and went out of contact and said he was sorry IF he ever made me feel mad, bad, or sad inside, because it was weighing on HIM. That IF and centering of himself in his apology made me want to throw my phone across the room. The gall. The audacity. It’s been 8 years and I still hear the cruel things he said to me in my head in my lowest moments. Fuck that dude for life.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/07/20 04:15 PM
8

This was my absolute favorite way to spend a weekend morning pre-COVID. I hope I can do this again someday.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/07/20 03:19 PM
58

I will never stop kicking myself for the time I was dating a guy and we were out to dinner. His phone was face up on the table in plain view of both of our eyes. A Tinder notification popped up on screen. It was still pretty early on, but I was still surprised enough to ask what was up. He feigned SHOCK and INDIGNATION that the app was used widely for hooking up. “I’m just on it to meet new friends??? I don’t understand???” Yeah, that’s why. A whole bunch of new women friends whose photos you ju…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/07/20 07:38 PM
2

Truly. When said ex wasn’t crying or throwing a tantrum over me not texting him fast enough after I woke up (seriously), he was screaming at me and berating me. I could never win with him. But I was never meant to.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/07/20 03:48 AM
59

I once had an ex self-identify as an alpha male. This man cried more than I did. Was the grown man version of a shaking chihuahua. I’m all for vulnerability but he turned into a puddle of insecurity at the slightest things.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/07/20 07:26 PM
15

I laughed a little too loud and a little too long. Oh man. This was good.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/07/20 06:29 PM
11

Absolutely. I have an anecdote farther up thread of this happening to a friend. The nerve.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/07/20 03:14 AM
25

I encouraged a friend of mine to cut off a dude who vacillated between taking 12+ hours to respond to her texts, and subtly trying to push the boundaries she instated to keep her safe. He tried to change an outdoor picnic to an indoor one. He kept changing the subject when she said she wanted to talk on the phone before making plans to meet up. He gave her the impression that he expected her to cook and bring all the food and supplies needed for said picnic, and she still had to tell him what to…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/07/20 03:12 AM
20

I sent my mom flowers for her birthday one year because I couldn’t go see her. She posted them on Facebook and said, “This is the first time I’ve gotten flowers in 30 years!” She has been married to her husband, my father, for well over 30 years. That bummed me the hell out. My mom is a living, breathing angel and deserves flowers every day. Only in adulthood have I realized what an utterly shite husband he’s been and continues to be to her, and it makes it really hard for me to want to foster a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/07/20 03:06 AM
5

For real. I had a partner who told me I was fat and ate too many cookies. Meanwhile, my doctor said my weight was fine and in a normal BMI range and he himself certainly did not have a Marvel actor body, so on some level, I knew he just didn’t care for how happy I was in my own skin, despite not being someone’s physical ideal. Unhappy folks always find a way to pin their unhappiness on others.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/07/20 05:32 PM
11

Well, despite you being bothered, he clearly isn't. Who cares what he thinks? He obviously doesn't care what you think. I say block him everywhere and keep it pushing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/06/20 10:31 PM
351

I was looking through old emails the other day and I realized that my nightmare ex was constantly giving me mixed signals from the beginning. Demanding to know whether the male mutual friend who introduced the two of us had ever hooked up with me, while simultaneously saying he didn’t need to be in a relationship right now, then the next day demanding to know how I knew a list of five guy friends who followed me online. Then asking me for space for weeks at a time while texting me daily. No wond…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/20 04:53 PM
15

Cops don’t believe video footage of anything, if the past decade has taught me anything. 🙃
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/20 09:27 PM
24

This reminds me of the time I found out through the grapevine that a boy I barely knew had a crush on me and wanted me to be his girlfriend. I naturally said no. Two weeks later, someone I’d never met before marched up to me, said he was this boy’s cousin, and wanted to know why I didn’t want to be his cousin’s girlfriend. Bro, I DON’T NEED TO JUSTIFY MYSELF TO YOU OR HIM OR ANYONE. No is a complete sentence over here. The audacity.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/20 09:26 PM
12

And he knew exactly what response he’d elicit in you by saying that vaguely threatening thing to your rejection. Trash. TRASH.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/20 09:18 PM
228

Have you all noticed that men key into when they interrupt each other IMMEDIATELY and apologize right away, but it doesn’t even register when they interrupt or talk over us? Like their ears don’t even pick up on our voices? (Well, we know they do, they just don’t respect our voices the way they respect each others’)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/20 02:04 PM
41

I used to tell myself it’s a numbers game that is not in my favor, so don’t take it so seriously. Plus, you can’t control who will be attracted to you, and who you attract is not a reflection of your own worth.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/20 05:40 PM
13

Never ever ever ever. I had an ex who picked fights with me DAILY for having had a life before I met him, yet claimed that he didn’t fault me for it. Even made me change my phone number “so [my] exes couldn’t get a hold of me.” Yes, I dumped him, but not soon enough.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/20 06:55 PM
9

🤮🤮🤮🤮
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/20 03:13 AM
27

My STBX partner only has terrible things to say about his ex wife, five years after the divorce. Even after she has remarried and moved all the way on. Burgundy flag.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/05/20 05:11 PM
44

Mine openly flirts with girls in their 20s who post thirst traps and are into weed as, like, a personality trait. He’s in his mid 40s and still hitting on young women in their 20s, the way he did with me a decade ago, because they’re the only ones without the life experience and wisdom to catch on to his foolery. So disgusting that his “target demographic” with women stays the same while he only gets older.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/05/20 05:09 PM
44

My NVM ex painted himself the victim in all his breakups, and yet claimed to be cool with all of them. Still does to this day, publicly, despite the fact that this ex (pointing to myself) would pretend not to see him if I saw him in public and we haven’t spoken in years. His obsession with putting forth an image speaks to a problem no woman can solve.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/05/20 05:06 PM
34

YES. I tried out for the school musical when I was maybe 15. The school’s choir director (a man, natch) didn’t stop himself from loudly commenting about how bad he thought I was and why no one was stopping me. That stayed with me for years.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/05/20 02:49 PM
33

I once did something similar with an ex. He started screaming at me “Oh, you wanna act tough now? ACT TOUGH. GO AHEAD.” It is still amazing to me what I mistook for normal back then.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/20 01:52 PM
3

SAME. My ZVM ex from years ago even told me that he wasn’t comfortable with me watching a certain TV show because the title was a sexual double entendre. Nevermind the fact that it was a major network show so it couldn’t have been that racy to begin with. The whole audacity. And he had an opinion and cast judgement on me for pretty much all the pop culture I consumed if he didn’t deem it good. He never should have gotten past the first date. Period.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/05/20 12:55 PM
5

I always know some condescending bullshit is about to follow when a man starts with “Ladies:”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/05/20 03:57 PM
3

The stacking trash next to wherever it goes drives me batty. Same with stacking dirty dishes next to the empty dishwasher or leaving the roll of TP on the counter above the dispenser. Maddening.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/04/20 01:38 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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