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Eliseruk Archive

View 1 post and 60 comments by Eliseruk on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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14

It sounds like he was hanging out with some people he met at the bar by the way she described the situation. It doesnt sound tome like these were his friends.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/01/22 04:50 PM
3

I struggled alot and was a flaky friend because of what you're describing. And now im on the other side feeling bummed seeing my friends act similarly. I will never be as important or as close to them as their boyfriends or husbands. I know that in general thats true right? Its natural especially since you build a life with a partner and not always a friend. I feel a bit selfish when i find myself upset over it. But at the same time, i remember how unhealthy my dynamic was as the overinvested gi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/06/21 04:25 PM
15

One guy i dated used to make weird comments about the clothes id dress with.not all the time, but enough that it irked me. I wore a super fun peavock bright neon green blue eyeshadow raccoon look on my eyes, very excited about it and he told me he just didnt like it. He would point out if my shirt was ill fitting or if my underwear was ill fitting. I used to think he was just being honest and helpful but literallyno one else in my life had ever made comments like that except maybe my dad. It was…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/06/21 08:51 AM
8

I think I always disliked a lot of movies/shows i watched, and would be very vocal about it, until I started dating a guy and hanging around people who were not on the same page. FDS has helped me rekindle that flame. Theres so much shitty sexist coolgirl porny pickme bullshit. Thinking back to the shows popular when i was growing up that just looked voring and full of sex. That one show american something with girls getting pregnant. Scrubs? I dont even know. Right now i remember watching some …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/05/21 08:07 AM
15

Im hispanic american and even I got the same feeling!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/21 02:54 AM
66

yes! I got the same feeling watching this as I did when I remembered an ex, that showed the same disdain for me but he never called me names, or yelled so aggressively. But he would ignore me, not look at me, mocked me on one occasion, sometimes would curse plainly in his speech, and instead of telling me to shut up would tell me that he no longer wants to speak. It was a mindfuck because then I was hysterical and he appeared to be calm. I was used to running from yelling/loudness/aggression, so…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/05/21 02:12 AM
8

This is wonderful and inspiring! I'm slowly trying to help other women emotionally in my social circle, but one day I hope I have the capacity to guide and mentor other women in the way you are now. I wish you the best in reaching your goal!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/21 09:12 PM
9

Ohh white collar. I definitely agree. Im woc and dated a man with fairly successful white collar parents. And i felt very awkward being a small women, with a not stable or well off family, and brown essentially. They all acted very friendly but in reality I never felt like they actually saw me, and all but one couple in the family were conservatives. I can definitely understand how people can display that kind of body language even if they seem to be friendly. I think that ex in particular's non…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/05/21 11:59 PM
4

What would that look like? And what are white color environments?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/05/21 11:19 PM
62

Its a staple in my experience. Starting at home with a dad who is so sensitive he gets offended if you dont think his jokes are funny. 😐
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/05/21 11:01 PM
7

I have a flip example on number 6. Lol an ex of mind had essentially nothing taking up his time, but would still not even conversate with me because he was sooo busy. Sitting on reddit, eating, watching videos, or playing a game xD
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/05/21 01:34 AM
11

I feel like the last I dated had a little taste of all of the above. o.o
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/05/21 12:40 AM
4

cheers to that, it's the truth.
/r/askFDS23/04/21 11:51 PM
8

Please heed this comment OP. He may seem harmless or clueless, but it's a trap. Even if you do have anxiety, his reactions are not normal. I went through the exact same thing with a man that I thought just "didn't know how to comfort me", that I just needed to communicate and explain. And it ended up being the most toxic hellfire, my anxiety spiked horribly, and it was a result of his self-centeredness and emotional incompetence. This man probably knows he's messed up, it's likely that others in…
/r/askFDS23/04/21 09:25 PM
2

Same here! I'm also glad to hear you're out of that situation too. Here's to living our best lives and filling our time with activities and people that truly add to our lives.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/04/21 01:32 AM
2

Thank you for your comment. I read it a while ago and I've been reminding myself about it since, every time I've felt a flicker of guilt or sympathy for him. "the crazy inappropriate response is a flat affect, no emotion response." And I agree. I'm also very glad I'm out of it. He told me himself multiple times that we seemed to be incompatible, but I insisted that we just needed to keep improving and communicating. But obviously that only works if your partner actually respects and values you a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/04/21 01:29 AM
1

This ex had adhd, so in my mind I excused that (and so many other things) because of it. Especially because he didn't gorge on junk, he grazed and survived on protein/nutrition bars/shakes and healthy snacks. But the attitude is still a red flag. It's so selfish. Your ex was a piece of work to blame you for his stupid choices. It's so stupid when they default to the learned helplessness and show no interest in actually learning, changing, and growing!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/04/21 01:21 AM
1

The they play into your good nature is awful. I'm guessing that you also felt guilt after he would say these things to you, like I did. I'm glad you're not there anymore. He wounds scary.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/04/21 01:15 AM
2

Bro, this dude had no problem satisfying himself sexually if i had my period. He even knew better than to say anything if I got my period in the middle of sex. Yet instead of just humoring me/any curiosity for what I go through, he shamed me instead. NSFW warning: On top of that he had a piss fetish. I won't go into more details, and I won't compare urination to menstruations like he likely would if I confronted him about it. But the mindset is astounding. I am just particularly bothered at the …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/04/21 12:38 AM
8

My dad is a macho hispanic dude, who is big on being the provider and his house being HIS house, and stuff like that. I think once as a teen I asked my dad how old his wife was (she was in her 30s, he in his 40s? I imagine it is a big gap, almost 10 years if not 10 years). He told me that it was normal for men to be older in relationships. I remember not liking it then, but just decided to ignore it and move on doing whatever I did at that age. Recently, we were chatting and he talked about gett…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/04/21 12:10 AM
19

I agree with you, I am terrified for my little brother. I so desperately want him to be a good man but with the way my family lives (constant poverty/mess/state of tiredness/no good support in anything), I fear the only activities he and the rest of my siblings have are media, screens, games. My most recent ex (huge avoidant screen/game/porn junkie), forced me to reevaluate the men in the life. From my father to my recent ex, they all have some form of 'i can't regulate/talk about my emotions or…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/04/21 11:39 PM
22

Ugh, my ex at first (until he started spending 30-40 minutes in the bathroom with the door locked playing a game or probably watching porn at some point), had no problem taking a crap while I was in there. I thought it was disgusting, but was super insecure pick-me, who just assumed this meant closeness between us. I never said a word beyond, "I don't think I'd be able to do that." I'd sometimes spend a lot of time sitting there on my period just to bleed out a heavy flow, and and one time he'd …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/04/21 10:42 PM
6

yep, exactly what my ex said to remove any accountability for his poor efforts. i want you to actually talk to me about life/daily stuff/my interests? We're incompatible because I 'talk a lot', while he only wants to fill the void with games/books/reddit. I want you to actually interact with me/call me at least once a day to check on me? We are incompatible because he just can't do that. But can take two hours to wake up and immediately jump on a public minecraft server. I want you to cook for m…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/03/21 02:53 AM
1

they were downvoted to hell :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/03/21 10:41 PM
1

that was great!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/03/21 10:39 PM
2

Or men in charge would rather continue their awful business practices to rake in money, while also having access to great healthcare/houseing/what have you. It's all so depressing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/03/21 09:16 PM
1

And its so beautiful and not cheap looking! It looks like it was done with care,
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/03/21 09:12 PM
8

I'm so grossed out tbh lol. This is the quirky/nerdy/geeky culture I was suddenly thrust into in college. With board games/DND/etc. And though board game nights can be fun, I'd prefer watching a film and chatting. Or camping/hiking, as I'm very outdoorsy. My ex was both super outdoorsy and also a huge board game/magic the gathering nerd (I can play some times but I really hate the mention of magic now, before I barely knew what it was). Before I knew what kind of relationship I was really in, I …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/03/21 08:50 PM
15

I'm really feeling your comment and this post in general, but just wanted to point out your first line, really clicked with me xD. Such a simple perfect way to describe it. I've been having a rough day today, feeling down about everything I went through and put up with, even if he was seemingly HV, or just mediocre. But that's exactly what happened. I particularly remembered one occasion (god theres more than one) I refused to break up, even when he gingerly told me that he wasn't going to be ab…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/03/21 01:51 AM
6

I don't think she is defending his behavior? She's making the point that if he is in a relationship, despite the severity of his autism if he does have it, he is functional enough to feed himself, and is acting like a man child and taking advantage of the girlfriend. It's kind of hard for me to tell what's happening here.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/03/21 12:18 AM
5

the and part, AND EMPATHETIC. It's one thing to ask what's wrong, it's another to actually care and know the person enough to do something about it, instead of saying okay, or "don't be sad, silly".
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/03/21 10:57 PM
4

I feel you on the attempted/forced conversation thing. I definitely think some of them use them as a screening tool. It definitely sounds like you're spot on about your ex. The one time I can remember my ex kind of doing that was just asking me what I thought about abortion (trying to find out if I was conservative). I think for my ex it really was just him giving the benefit of doubt to men (also think it's a very far left thing, to constantly give bad people the benefit of the doubt in pursuit…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/21 03:43 AM
31

I remember watching a show with my ex, where some pedophile is getting tortured after death, and I probably made some comment about how he deserved it, as I'm very vocal watching movies. And he said something about how it's too much, that he was dead already. That he shouldn't be kept there in perpetual suffering. I don't remember what happened, but I was honest to god pissed. I think the issue itself could be interesting to talk about: how we should punish criminals? But my family has been hurt…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/03/21 02:51 AM
34

The lack of enthusiasm! Constantly being neutral, or at a stalemate, not taking initiative that doesn't involve pulling away, procrastinating, or avoiding! Sorry for my own excitement, it's just such a simple, telling sign.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/03/21 02:31 AM
4

This was such a sweet thread, thank you for sharing. You deserve this and more ❤❤
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/02/21 04:17 AM
8

It's so frustrating when a person just can't admit they are wrong about something, or did something hurtful. I spent so many years questioning my motives and actions, I can't imagine just assuming that I am right all the time? They can grow past the issue so easily if they take accountability and talk about it, do something about it. But no, it's too hard apparently, and much more fulfilling to ignore it and fill up your time with the internet and games.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/21 07:58 PM
11

In my experience my ex even had this attitude when someone else hurt me. Not all the time, but one was too much. Months after a christmas where his mom did not allow me to be there with them (I had wanted company because my period had started and I get debilitating pain), because christmas day was reserved for him, his father, and his mother (no other siblings or family) and she said it was because they had no gifts for me to open that day, and that she just felt like it wasn't right. I brought …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/21 07:36 AM
52

Reading these comments, feeling that I could have written them, I am so happy there is a group where this can be said so plainly. I honestly believe that having access to this space (and having a good emotional support system), helped me be able to really stick up for myself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/21 07:17 AM
22

Same to all of this. And so many other posts in this thread. I remember telling this ex once that there was clearly something wrong because I always went to someone else for issues, including our own. And he dare said it was because I didn't like what he had to hear. We are here having loving, healthy relationships, and then these guys really ignore that and continue to twist up our reality. There is no other solution but to get them out of your life.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/21 07:05 AM
2

Got it on the list :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/21 07:53 AM
4

It's such a small thing, but it clearly shows a man's nature when he has control over petty stuff like that xD Now when you're ready to unwind with the movie there's no worries besides the payments going through on your end! Good luck!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/21 07:52 AM
44

My financially struggling single mother frequently had her baby daddies and situationships paying for her netflix/hulu/etc, and I finally decided that I would pay for those services so my siblings have access to it without worrying that the men would get petty and take it away to be vindictive. It's such a small detail, but like why let some jerkwad use it like a toy or hold it over your head when you have a disagreement. It's so much smoother this way. One of my little siblings mentioned there …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/02/21 09:49 PM
8

Exactly what I experienced in my last relationship.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/02/21 09:19 PM
1

I'm sure he doesn't even know. If I'd ask what he expected of me or wanted of me as his girlfriend/partner, he could not come up with an answer. He had an extremely limited/protected inner world that he suffocated by constantly seeking instant gratification. Answers from him were usually dug up by me to get generic answers like 'companionship, company, love'. I remember one time when I told him to say excuse me after burping, he responded that didn't I (me) believe that part of the reason to be …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/02/21 07:58 PM
1

I actually did read that book about a year before the breakup, and it helped me so much. I feel a bit conflicted about the author, since in the beginning I felt a bit suspicious because it was written by a man, and some months ago I heard rumours about him having an abusive history as well. Regardless, that book allowed me to clarify what I had been seeing and feeling from the men I crossed paths with in my life. And made me feel a little more confident just being angry when I needed to. I'm gla…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/02/21 07:51 PM
1

Thank you for your response. It's amazing how effortless some people like him could be controlling like that. And I'm honestly sure he didn't even realize he was doing it most of the time, it's just how he was. It's a good reminder, that we need to prioritize trusting and listening to our own feelings first.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/02/21 07:47 PM
1

100% true. I definitely learned that lesson in that relationship. What added to the fire of confusion, is he had diagnosed adhd, and used it as an excuse sometimes. I'd ask if you love and care for someone wouldn't you do X for them (even something as small as sending a good morning message instead of just sending a dumb reddit meme after you've been awake for hours and don't have work or anything to do that day)? He would just say no, in a way where I'm meant to pity him or be understanding of …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/02/21 07:40 PM
1

Thank you for sharing that. You think it's simple for people to understand that you can validate others even in you don't get it, but here we are. Your last couple sentences are so true, and surprisingly I learned from that ex. Because that is how he justified his lack of effort/accountability. What a whirlwind of a relationship. Here's to loving yourself and sharing love with friends and family that actually love and care for you in ways you deserve.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/02/21 07:34 PM
2

That is true. I guess when I read the original comment, I thought to my experience, and literally just thought of someone who read a lot. He was not intellectual or 'well-read'. Like he read for the enjoyment or distraction. We never had a truly intellectual conversation. Honest to god, not one truly intellectual one. He possibly said a handful of things that I thought were insightful. And I overblew it because of how little he talked about things of substance, if he talked at all. I'm pretty su…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/21 06:34 AM
1

You are absolutely correct. And thanks for some validation, I feel crazy even remembering it, because it's not what I initially expect when I think of someone mistreating another. Thankfully I had fun, talkative, intelligent friends then and still now that I could just casually talk about stuff. Whether its a fun movie or a serious issue. Take care of yourself! And surround yourself with loving people and these men will stick out like a sore thumb.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/21 01:32 AM
3

My ex, loved camping, yoga, gymnastics, took care of his body, and also loved board games (occasional obsession with minecraft). And he also read soo much. His mother did as well, I think he got it from her. It was to the point where I got sick of how much time he would spend reading (and of course playing board games and magic the only thing that put light in his eyes) books, fanfics, comics. (I remember him buying the comic sunstone, which people say is great, but I know is full of bdsm scenes…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/21 08:52 PM
9

SL04N I think his most recent video he revealed that he got into some issues with nickelodean over his videos covering Victorious (another one if dans shows). They way they treat Dan in comparison to other people that were fired from nick for hurting minors is super shady.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/01/21 07:09 AM
37

Theres a youtuber who has been covering dan and his past, and one thing he pointed out was that it looked like Dan might have hurt smaller and less big/popular stars worse, because they had less power/popularity. Maybe in some ways he even pit them against each other. So it makes you wonder, why some of these stars are friendly with him/defend him and pretend that what the othet stars are saying about him just doesnt exist.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/01/21 01:28 AM
84

Reading stuff on here can be hard sometimes, because I am still trying to figure out what it means to be confident but still respectful. For example reading this post I feel so validated because I have been in that position where I felt like I needed to convince my ex he hurt me and needed to apologize and he essentially would say that he didnt feel like he did wrong so he wouldnt. He would almost always respond EXTREMELY calm and detatched and I gaurantee he would move on to his phone (sometime…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/12/20 09:45 AM
1

I went through the same thing and now i wonder what hed say if i had asked him that. I did ask him on a different occasion. Multiple times it happened where I would be upset and hed get annoyed and start casually cursing while talking and I would say to not curse at me. On the phone/video he hungup on me more than once or would insist that he was just expressing emotion that he wasnt cursing at me. I would cry and cry and freak out when he did that. Id feel like an ass because sometimes id blow …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/20 04:27 AM
7

My ex didnt hold stuff against me like that, but I remember various times where he would default to inaction. Saying things like we just disagree, or that he just doesnt do certain things, or told me calmly that I dont have to things for him if i dont want to (and that he didnt ask or need me to do those things). That last one really messed me up, because any time I would ask for more or feel like I wasnt getting the attention I needed, I would think that I was being too selfish. He told me hims…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/20 02:01 AM
4

I think, that no matter if yourl are neurotypical or neurodivergent, male entitlement is still a reoccurring issue. I remember a post, where a woman waz frustrated wifhher aspie partner because he did not wash the dishes properly using the dishwasher, and when she told him how she perfected he rprocess to get clean dishes every time he ignored her and shrugged her off as wanting toomuch. I told her that he was being an inconsiderate partner and a jerk from the other things he did, and some guy s…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/07/20 03:30 PM
2

That really sucks. If we can get tired of watching it, it's likely that women can get tired playing a part of it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/20 04:54 AM
1

Do you have any recommendations?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/20 04:51 AM
26

God I was just talking about this with my boyfriend about comedy movies were the male protagonist(s) are problematic/sexist/stupid. I find myself laughing at certain things but getting annoyed for most of the movie. I get really into movies and will show it, whether it's sad happy or scary. He didn't understand why I was so annoyed watching these movies, after all this movie was supposed to be funny. We are supposed to understand that this character's purpose is to makr fun of problematic/sexist…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/20 07:58 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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