| Upvotes | Title | Category | Author | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 19 | Life is better overall, but some days really suck | Need Support | EltiiVader | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/03/25 03:32 PM |
| Upvotes | Comment on | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Old seperation taking its toll on current relationshipI'm separated 14 months, and I've been with my incredible girlfriend for the last 10 months. You need to filter the crazy from the ex. Make that shit stop at you. Don't allow her to affect you. I personally use ChatGPT to reply to my ex because she's a legitimate NPD sociopath. No matter what I'm feeling, I pop it into the message thread that constructs all messages to read well when they're eventually audited by a judge in family court or by a court appointed custody evaluator. And in doing so,… | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/08/25 07:23 PM |
| 1 | Old seperation taking its toll on current relationshipI don't agree whatsoever. I've been with my girlfriend for 10 months now, I'm separated 14. My estranged wife is also a high-conflict sociopath. Even when the divorce is finalized, she will never stop. It's like that quote from Terminator "It can't be bargained with. It can't be reasoned with. It doesn't feel pity, or remorse, or fear. And it absolutely will not stop... ever... until you are dead." So, no. I'm not putting my life on hold because of this sociopath. I will live, and I will live we… | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/08/25 07:18 PM |
| 1 | Child supportI had no option. It just immediately started coming out of my check. Perhaps its a state based thing? Because of child support (which is reasonable) and APL (alimony pendente lite, not fucking reasonable whatsoever), I now bring home less than my employee's employees. | /r/Divorce_Men | 07/08/25 01:46 PM |
| 5 | How do other men manage their anger without becoming violent?Same. I’ve been going to mine for years and about 18 months before the ending. Hell, I’m in the lot now as I write this, about to walk in for my 10am appt | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/06/25 01:52 PM |
| 3 | Wife set to say "I don't feel safe"Yep. You're going to get a restraining order soon and will be evicted from your house with no warning. Happened to me with my sociopath estranged wife. She didn't even allege physical abuse - she said that I tried to "run her down" which was a blatant lie (She was trying to force her way into my car. She opened the door and I said "NO! I'm driving away." and did so. She walked after me like the fucking Terminator.) The judges don't care. If there's even a .1% chance, they'll give them a temporar… | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/05/25 12:17 PM |
| 2 | Figuring out what to do in regard to intimacy/sex?My attorney all but encouraged it. She gave me the green light when I asked and said it would probably trigger my BPD ex into doing something stupid | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/05/25 07:33 PM |
| 2 | My role as a man in my former marriage has turned me off from datingThis. Fucking this. So much garbage advice on this particular post. Especially that one idiot talking about the wife’s “feminine energy,” or some shit. If she has BPD or NPD, potentially up to 10% of the population might be afflicted, you will not succeed and will never be good enough | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/05/25 03:48 AM |
| 0 | Should I ask for alimonyIf he wasn’t getting a $52k cash payout I’d agree to an extent. In this case he’s able bodied and it was only a 3 year marriage. Alimony is theft 95% of the time. It punishes success If the roles were reversed, I feel the sentiment I’ve witnessed would be different. | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/05/25 04:50 PM |
| 0 | Should I ask for alimonyI agree 100%. OP needs to be his own fucking man and not take her money that she earned. She shouldn't be punished for success. If the shoe were reversed, every guy in here would be talking about how she's a parasite for leeching alimony after a 3-year marriage. She's also buying him out with $52k in cash. That's a fair sum of cash that will allow a comfortable restart on life. | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/05/25 12:40 PM |
| -4 | Should I ask for alimonyFuck no. Do the right thing. Be your own man, don't depend on forced handouts from your ex-wife. Sounds like you're getting a fair deal in cash to start over. My parasitic estranged wife is taking $2,400 / month + benefits from me and drawing out the divorce to maximize her robbery. If the shoe were on the other foot, how would you feel if the government decided to steal $XXXX / month of the money you work hard to earn every day? There are special cases where it's warranted, but for the most par… | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/05/25 12:37 PM |
| 1 | Life is better overall, but some days really suckWhen did I say my girlfriend has kids? I work 6am to about 5pm, Monday through Friday. I secured the day off yesterday for family court when, SURPRISE, my ex "couldn't make it" and continued. Yours reads as a very high horse comment. | /r/Divorce_Men | 15/04/25 03:36 PM |
| 2 | Am I in a toxic marriage?I can't even lie, dude. I read this comment, and it makes me want to fucking scream because I intimately know exactly how this feels. ONE YEAR AGO, I was in an almost identical situation. I was afraid of her because of the threats. She beat me down to where I didn't even know who I was. I desperately tried to change myself to be "good enough" for her. Guess what? You'll never be fucking good enough. There isn't a goalpost you can reach. And if you do miraculously reach one, it'll be invalidated … | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/03/25 12:54 PM |
| 2 | Am I in a toxic marriage?You need to make the first move before she decides to hit you with false accusations after she finds a suitable "replacement." Get your shit in order now. I'm divorcing a sociopath of whom I could've written a post that would've been almost identical to your own. You'll see your children. If you don't make the first move, you'll be in an inherently disadvantageous position when the inevitable happens. Every second you waste is more money and resources she'll be able to legally extort and steal f… | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/03/25 12:45 PM |
| 2 | Life is better overall, but some days really suckPennsylvania. It's a fucking nightmare and beyond brutal. It feels like she's being rewarded for bad behavior. Saying I'm bitter is an understatement. Child support is high, but then after child support, they take an additional 30% from my net paycheck for APL (Alimony Pendente Lite) and gave me no credit for the $1,000 + /month I paid before the order so I have almost $10k in arrears. She's a fucking psychopathic parasite. | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/03/25 12:26 PM |
| 1 | Life is better overall, but some days really suckThe most difficult part is my current work schedule - 6am start until approximately 5pm, Monday through Friday. And it's a great job that I really enjoy and I've done a lot of good things here, making the department my own and stabilizing things. I'm having difficulty finding a daycare that'll take my girls that early. I miss them terribly and want to meet my baby in the worse way. | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/03/25 12:16 PM |
| 1 | Life is better overall, but some days really suckI may need to get a different job. I work 6am to 5pm (approx) Monday through Friday. I don't know of any daycares that can take my girls that early. | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/03/25 12:15 PM |
| 3 | Life is better overall, but some days really suckThank you bro, I appreciate the support man. The day got better but I kind of lamented all morning and it felt good to get it out. I hope you’re well and finish stronger and better than where you started! Take care and thanks again | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/03/25 09:27 PM |
| 4 | You suffering is not her punishment.I'm right there with you. My sociopath estranged wife is stealing $41,000 / year off me in "APL" aka spousal support. She's a parasite and I'm her host. We were barely married 3 years. She owes on her phone, and I've tried sending her a transfer of billing responsibility through AT&T. The parasite never accepted the transfer. So, I guess I have to keep paying for it, but as of minutes ago, I learned I can suspend the phone's service, practically bricking it. It's petty but fuck it. | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/03/25 12:49 PM |
| 8 | What will divorced life look like?I make a bit over $100k and with 2 kids and "APL" (alimony pendente lite) I'm paying $2,400 / month from my net wages. Which is about $41,000 / year pre-tax. You're pretty fucked. My estranged wife is a demon and is trying to steal as much as she can. We were only married 3 years. She's also mentally ill with BPD and likely NPD. Zero conscience, accountability or soul. | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/02/25 02:33 PM |
| 6 | Won but Feel BadI HATE spousal support. May as well call it a reward for bad behavior. My garbage ex is stealing $2,400 / month off me. Considering that’s from my net income, it’s equivalent to about $41,000 pre-tax How long were you married? | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/02/25 04:08 PM |
| 1 | Alimony paid to lower wage earning husband in CaliforniaI didn’t read them. In that case, fuck ‘er. I’m paying my cunt ex the equivalence of $41,000 / year pre-tax. It boils my blood | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/02/25 09:36 PM |
| 1 | She’s dating alreadyAlimony Pendente Lite (also known as reward for bad behavior!). It’s essentially granted automatically in Pennsylvania. She liked to be seen as “strong” and “independent” but you would’ve thought she was a helpless damsel in distress tied up and laying on railroad tracks at that support hearing Paying for 9 months is much better than half the company. Realistically, I consider this the price of Freedom. I’m much happier now and love my apartment | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/01/25 06:55 PM |
| 3 | She’s dating alreadyToof, yeah it does. I’ve had to stop paying my credit cards to pay rent / car payment and to buy food. The fucking parasite is stealing $2,400 / month off me in APL. This divorce can’t finalize soon enough | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/01/25 06:35 PM |
| 7 | She’s dating alreadyI started dating 3 months after my stbxw pulled the rug out from under me. Relatively short grieving period but I personally know I did everything that I possibly could have. Hit the gym and work on yourself. Read “Models” by Mark Manson if your dating skills are rusty. Life will get better but it’s on you alone to make it so | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/01/25 12:16 PM |
| 1 | What is wrong with some menSo it sounds like you’re contemplating cheating while verbally saying the opposite. What if you started going to the gym and become more attractive to your wife? Realize the self fulfilling, self depreciating prophesy you’re in the thick of. Act in a positive manner. See what happens. At least give it a try | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/01/25 07:27 AM |
| 3 | Separated and StrugglingAs shitty as it is, consider yourself as a lot luckier than many other men in this sub. It's fortunate that you don't have children with this creature that you once called 'wife.' Don't waste time waffling about, just get the divorce done. I'm 36 and had a lot of fun dating last year. Biggest thing was to not find a wife 'replacement' where you'll substitute the new woman for the last, relapsing into familiar patterns. I also had an avoidant that I liked a lot suddenly end the new relationship. … | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/01/25 05:25 PM |
| 1 | When did life get better?About 4 to 5 months for me with a wave of almost instant relief when I left initially (despite being forced due to narcissistic weaponization of false accusations) | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/01/25 12:32 AM |
| 1 | Went overseas to date women... kind of stunned really.You’re going off a second hand account and seemingly using it as a reason to give up before even trying. What if you got in shape and gave it a real go? What’s the harm? | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/12/24 03:11 PM |
| 1 | How to justify it to her?Hopefully January. The leach will likely try to drag it out, though. It’s APL so $1350 of that will end over she signs after the 90 day waiting period (90 fucking days - give me a break) | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/11/24 06:00 PM |
| 1 | How to justify it to her?$2k / month in APL and child support. What a fucking parasite… That kindergarten cop scene comes to mind… “I think I have a tumor” | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/11/24 05:33 PM |
| 1 | Lawyers, should they be local (same city) or is someone from another county okay?Go for a lawyer who works and is based in the county or municipality in which everything will be going down. They all know each other, judges included. I had a lawyer friend tell me to get a local attorney because he wouldn’t win for that reason | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/11/24 03:50 PM |
| 2 | How to justify it to her?Sounds like you’re about to divorce a narcissist. Good luck, dude. I’m at my courthouse now waiting to see how bad I get buttfucked as the lawyers negotiate support and alimony… | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/11/24 03:15 PM |
| 4 | Man, Tinder is a dumpster fire, lolLmao, mid 30’s Dad here. It feels like I’m a fucking first round draft pick of the divorcees. | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/10/24 02:22 PM |
| 3 | Man, Tinder is a dumpster fire, lolSo this comment just makes me wonder… did you not have success? Because I’ve been on Tinder for 2 weeks, have taken out multiple women and have already gotten laid | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/10/24 11:42 AM |
| 9 | Man, Tinder is a dumpster fire, lolHa! I just did the same last night! Was a great time - date 2. Came to my house, making out before even getting to my door, skipped dinner and everything else we had planned. Didn’t even finish the first glasses of wine initially poured. Just RIGHT TO SEX! I have another date 2 coming over on Sunday. A date 3 with someone else next week. | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/10/24 11:39 AM |
| 1 | Can Attract but not secure a dateDude, fuck no. Girls text, stop with the whole "phone call" thing. You'll know quickly if they're real or fake. The commenter above has good advice. 4 to 5 exchanges and then boom, you need to ask them out. Preferably within the next 48 hours. You take the lead. You decide on the place / activity. Don't do a dinner and NEVER do a movie (unless it's at your place) Read Models by Mark Manson. In regard to a date, I'm of the mind frame where it's either "fuck yeah!" or No. | /r/seduction | 16/10/24 01:57 PM |
| 1 | I think I’m too picky/ hypocriticalI agree to a point. But I've seen some let the goal of perfect become the enemy of good or even great. | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/09/24 06:44 PM |
| 1 | Planned Parenthood discriminating against responsible men.Maybe I'm naive but I thought it'd be at least acknowledged as a good thing. I mean, I know of piece of shit guys that just blow it in every time and force their girlfriends or wives to take on the responsibility and burden of birth control, plan B or abortion. Those women go to places like this and are welcomed with open arms (as they should be). A guy goes in as a responsible member of society looking to permanently alter his body in the name of birth control and responsibility and they're thr… | /r/MensRights | 25/08/17 03:56 PM |
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