Empress1978 Archive

Upvotes	Title	Category	Author	Subreddit	Date (UTC)
19	Appreciation Post for the Community	Success Stories	Empress1978	/r/Divorce_Men	07/10/25 08:18 PM

Upvotes	Comment on	Subreddit	Date (UTC)
1	Put the retainer down yesterday and got all the paperwork notarized and to the lawyer today... What’s yours is hers and what’s hers is hers	/r/Divorce_Men	29/06/26 10:28 PM
7	I thought my year long nightmare was finally over… She knew you were close and said … nope, let’s ruin him for no reason, even if I go down with him. I’m sorry. You’ll make it!	/r/Divorce_Men	26/06/26 10:28 PM
5	Would you remarry her again? Absolutely not, nor will I live permanently with any potential partner again. If you really love me, we don’t need to live together nor be married for you to show that, and I think it means so much more. I see a lot of folks who are divorced and do this, and have partners for many years happily with this arrangement.	/r/Divorce_Men	15/05/26 06:14 PM
6	I think this was my 1st and last marriage Yep. This. One marriage. Never again. Live life happy. If you truly love me … no contract required.	/r/Divorce_Men	10/05/26 05:08 AM
5	Had our 2nd therapy session Get out. She’s already decided and this is what I’ve learned. Once you’ve gotten to couples therapy you’re both done and no salvaging no matter what you think. Be happy. Sold the house and. Ow I rent and spend my money on what I want - travel etc and I live in the downtown I wanted. Home owning sucks in all ways these days, especially money. Now no more grass to worry about, leaky roof, property taxes, etc. most importantly, no partner who I loved for so many years and is now a stranger because …	/r/Divorce_Men	29/04/26 07:01 PM
1	Rent or buy after divorce This is me and can’t agree more on this all. Had a house for 10 years then divorced and made a shit ton of money from the house even after it only being half from the divorce. I have no debt now and rent while saving the money for enjoying life, traveling and my retirement. No grass to deal with - leaky faucets …. Property tax. Etc. no kids also helps… bottom line, ditto!!!!	/r/Divorce_Men	28/04/26 10:18 PM
3	Roles of media Exactly.	/r/Divorce_Men	15/04/26 07:19 PM
3	Roles of media All of the above plus tik tok reinforces the whole idea that men all suck in various ways and will always be selfish and let you down. I agree, a lot of dudes suck. But I see much of the same shit from the decent men on here that went through eerily similar situations as me and to each other. That seems like more than coincidence. I thought I was alone but I wasn’t. If I didn’t have my ducks in a row for the divorce (or if I had kids), she woulda tried to burry me.	/r/Divorce_Men	15/04/26 06:55 PM
2	We got a win and surprise Nice!! We lost $15,000 in profit because she painted so many rooms the dumbest fucking colors that no one wanted (that I even said at the time why) and it cost us - when the realtor told her what I said she flipped out and ate crow. So that plus the thousands she wasted to originally paint … I did so many things to get real value out of the house and she wasted just like yours said …. No accountability nor having to deal with anything real and that’s how I got out of this. I was fiscally respons…	/r/Divorce_Men	07/04/26 06:36 PM
2	I think I get it: she will never admit it. Exactly. 10000%.	/r/Divorce_Men	07/04/26 05:03 PM
1	How have you been in a marriage for so long with no kids? Soooo happy didn’t have kids. Divorce went so much smoother and I have a wonderful child free life of travel and fun. Married 8 years together 16.	/r/Divorce_Men	04/04/26 08:16 PM
1	Divorcing.. Keep the house or get an apartment? Apartment. Sell house and get the money and run!	/r/Divorce_Men	29/03/26 10:10 PM
4	It’s better… Honestly I could have written this exact same thing lol except she can’t be bothered to even be interested in sex so I know she’s not with anyone nor would anyone want to. The rest … yep. It’s insanity how similar many of the situations among us are.	/r/Divorce_Men	29/03/26 09:08 PM
2	UK man In an abusive marriage with US woman. Help. Agreed on all of this!!	/r/Divorce_Men	23/03/26 08:03 PM
4	Tired You’re doing all you can do and more. Keep positive - it sounds corny, but keeping those good vibes around you while making the most of life is what the universe will return to ya. Plus you’ll live longer to prove the haters you’re loving life despite the BS and her shit. I’m loving life so much now too despite it all and was tired of always being angry, stressed and down.	/r/Divorce_Men	22/03/26 07:52 PM
2	A win in court today. I got a lot of the same - so may times she wanted to just be pure evil and petty but I was just being super fair and calm and even her lawyer was telling her to chill and that it was all more than fair do both of us and I’m not trying to pull anything other than make this as quick as possible and not pay lawyers any more than needed. My lawyer was a woman and was super supportive of me and fought to hold the line. I had my ducks in a row and she tried to fight a super fair agreement for nothing …	/r/Divorce_Men	13/03/26 06:08 PM
4	STBX posting inspirational quotes - why is this a thing? Jesus — I could have written this exactly thing. Word for word. Amazing how so many of us went through nearly identical things.	/r/Divorce_Men	10/03/26 06:45 PM
3	STBX posting inspirational quotes - why is this a thing? Exactly!!! Like they’re blameless and like anyone knows the true story. Men will always be victimized, especially the good ones, because we don’t say anything back. Why would we? We loved them and despite the pain, we don’t wish ill. But other women, especially online, are quick to judge all men. Just because you get divorced doesn’t mean either are bad.	/r/Divorce_Men	10/03/26 06:44 PM
9	STBX posting inspirational quotes - why is this a thing? Ohhh man, mine lovessssss to do this shit. Especially thinly veiled specifics too and it’s just hilarious and also kinda infuriating. I’ve moved on after over a year and she’s still doing it. Like - I’ve never posted shit - just living my best life. Friends and family find it so cringy what she does and says I’m doing the right thing. She’s so delusional like she was blameless. Typical but it’s the wanting affirmation from others. She has no friends really and this is how she gets it from others…	/r/Divorce_Men	10/03/26 06:42 PM
3	Anyone else just feel exhausted… Brother, welcome to the club. It’s always exhausting. But it gets better. I’m over a year out and I’m no longer ever exhausted. I’m busier and happier than I’ve ever been yet have more energy at 38 than I did at 30 when I was fighting for survival daily. I was also 16 years total 8 married and I didn’t know how much freer I could be. You think you have the great life and have to suck it up. Nope. Just keep going and hang in there.	/r/Divorce_Men	10/03/26 02:14 AM
3	I fucking hate my life now Go back to endless tik tok scrolling to get your only validation.	/r/Divorce_Men	07/03/26 04:52 AM
8	I fucking hate my life now She WANTS you to feel like this. She’s reveling in it. Don’t let her. You’re so much better than you think and you’re trying. That’s better than most people in this world. It gets better. I know that sounds hollow - but it does. Just keep trying.	/r/Divorce_Men	06/03/26 11:23 PM
1	Is it difficult for everyone to find a lawyer or am I doing something wrong? No - if you have your ducks in a row, you’re good. Don’t settle. Any lawyer is worth it .	/r/Divorce_Men	05/03/26 04:57 AM
5	Divorce I do not want. You’ve done everything right. But I’ve learned - nine times outta ten - when one is finished, it’s already too late and it’s then about the process of acceptance. Will be difficult, but you’ve shown, despite not wanting to, that you’re gonna defend yourself and your relationship with your kids. Look ahead and the great opportunities you now have for yourself as a man to grow as well as for your relationship with your daughters. It’s exciting! Yes, mourn the life you thought you were going to cre…	/r/Divorce_Men	03/03/26 01:32 AM
5	Is this a valid perspective? No more marriage and if you get into a relationship, keep your own place and finances. Never moving in with someone either. Been just having fun and enjoying what’s out there and traveling and improve yourself.	/r/Divorce_Men	03/03/26 01:22 AM
5	First full week in my new apartment I have to say, this hits. Going from my nice townhouse and neighborhood to a downtown apartment has been a change. While I love it, I miss the quiet, the house, my cats also, just having a comforting body in bed with you. Having more room than a little space. It’s a change and hard for the body to adapt. It’s been a year and a half for me and it’s still hard to sleep - I never had sleep issues. But you’ll get there.	/r/Divorce_Men	25/02/26 03:18 PM
1	Paying down the mortgage while on Child Support We sold ours and made a shitload of money and split it - neither of us could afford it alone and ain’t no way either of us was buying the other out. We didn’t have kids tho - I assume you have a reason you wanna keep the hose as I don’t know your whole situation. Any chance you’d just sell and downsize?	/r/Divorce_Men	24/02/26 07:33 PM
2	How do you find shit to do? I definitely get that! I have a coworker in the same situation as you and went on Reddit or the local trivia forum for our area and just said he was looking and ended up finding one and now they’re great friends. If you have other friends maybe ask them to make a team - that’s what I did.	/r/Divorce_Men	02/02/26 04:22 PM
1	How do you find shit to do? Gym, trivia nights, sports leagues (basketball, bowling, and football etc), volunteer on nonprofit board… lots of low impact things!	/r/Divorce_Men	02/02/26 03:03 PM
3	How to handle the giddiness Good way to look at it!	/r/Divorce_Men	29/01/26 07:57 PM
2	How to handle the giddiness Absolutely. Sad for what has ended - for the 16 years spending with someone you love. But we both were not the same people. I wanted to better myself and therapy and friends helped me see my life wasn’t as perfect as I assumed - opening my eyes. Yes I lost a lot - but gained even more. I was afraid of what I’d lose I was blind to the freedom. She refuses to talk to me and that’s sad but ok because she hasn’t decided to fix herself and move on - just be angry. She also gained 75lbs when she was a…	/r/Divorce_Men	29/01/26 07:38 PM
3	How to handle the giddiness Hey I was the same. Sad, but so excited to be free of the emotional abuse. Like the world is your oyster with myriad of possibilities for the future! I’m a year out and have been traveling, seeing friends and family, going out and doing things - seeing the country. Amazing apartment in my downtown near work. So freeing.	/r/Divorce_Men	29/01/26 07:24 PM
11	Men who left a long term sexless marriage with kids after meeting someone else how did it turn out This is me but I don’t have kids - the woman I’m with does have one who is 12 and just got divorced. I was with mine 16 years married 8 and she with hers 20 years married 11. She’s essentially my favorite person and it was unexpected. I didn’t expect it at all. I don’t have sex with my wife for 6 years and intermittent before that…. She became manipulative and wouldn’t deal with her mental health and manic anxiety. I’m doing great and sex has been amazing - I had lots of flings and they were all…	/r/Divorce_Men	14/01/26 05:57 PM
4	Wife frequently calls me a “useless piece of shit” She sounds like fun at a parties.	/r/Divorce_Men	12/01/26 03:30 PM
7	Couples Therapy Scheduled - But I'm Already Done This. I thought I’d be able to be honest. Nope. 45 mins of her non stop bashing you. It won’t matter. Never did. It’s all performance. Kicker was I was the one who was the one who wanted to do it lmfao	/r/Divorce_Men	06/01/26 10:12 PM
6	Does anyone else feel like "a looser" despite "winning" at most things in life? I’ll reiterate, you’re doing great. I’m almost 38 but divorced at 36 over a year ago, got a ton of money from half of the proceeds of our house and have no debt for the first time since 18. Have my car paid off, live 2 walking mins from work, a great apartment that is affordable in the downtown where I live, my retirement is now decent and money to travel and see family and friends. I literally feel the same as you but I don’t do as much as that, but I’m so grateful I came out relatively unscath…	/r/Divorce_Men	06/01/26 08:56 PM
18	Every now and then you get a good little reminder Dear god, I feel this - that was also us to a T. Only 2 of us, no kids, $250 a week in groceries because it “all had to be done” and “it’s what adults do, make dinner and plan everything out”. Then the arguments in the store … goddddd. The manic anxiety of having to have everything like that done, house spotless all the time for no reason … but no time for intimacy nor anything else. Now I’m you … when I need it. So freeing.	/r/Divorce_Men	05/01/26 09:24 PM
1	What was your ex wife’s occupation? Dude yes. She is a school counselor (!!!!) and essentially has a degree that can be a therapist as well. Practice what you preach? Nope. Lol	/r/Divorce_Men	02/01/26 03:03 AM
1	The trap waiting for you 3 years from now I appreciate the words. Nice to get some more perspective that I did the best I could. Hope you’re making it as well as best you can in your situation.	/r/Divorce_Men	30/12/25 05:44 PM
1	The trap waiting for you 3 years from now Right, that’s all true - and what I did it for. I think my emotions were so fucked and tamped down that I had nothing left to get mad at her over. I knew I had to look out for number one (after years of allowing myself to be less than second best). Yes, it was sad and upsetting - but when it came to it, I had no emotions left and it was a mission, as you said. I lost some family and friends, but only because of them. I was an open book to everyone and made it a point not to badmouth her (which s…	/r/Divorce_Men	30/12/25 05:37 PM
3	The trap waiting for you 3 years from now I appreciate that - sometimes it doesn’t feel like it but I was lucky to keep a straight head through it all. I had to have my ducks in a row and shit locked tight with a lawyer before telling her I was done after a year of therapy. Thankfully I had no personal debt and she had a lot, and one we sold our house we split a nice chuck of change - all of which I got to invest, save or use for travel. After getting rid of the mortgage, I’m debt free for the first time since 18 - and it is surreal. Sh…	/r/Divorce_Men	30/12/25 05:19 PM
3	The trap waiting for you 3 years from now Yep. Already decided I’m never marrying again and to not break that rule, no matter what. If someone truely cares about me in the future, then marriage doesn’t need to matter because I’d trust you’re gonna stay because you want to and our relationship is actually strong and not just cuz it’s a hassle to get divorced. Never had kids either so I couldn’t care less about some of the “family” stuff tbh. Was with ex 16 years and 8 married and I’m 38 now. I’ve had the house, the wedding, all the other…	/r/Divorce_Men	30/12/25 05:05 PM
9	She told me today. Christmas Eve Oh i know, I was just like you - good husband that did a lot and equal in many respects. I endured this for 8 years married and 16 together. She had it too good with me, is what I figured in therapy, but once I started to realize I didn’t need to be manipulated and gaslit anymore, she hated it and said “I’m different” like it’s a bad thing. The jig was up, and she knew I realized it. I wasn’t perfect, but damn. I was done and now it’s been a year in my own and one of the best in my life even tho…	/r/Divorce_Men	24/12/25 10:52 PM
15	She told me today. Christmas Eve Yeah, my ex wife would do a lot of the same shit - even waking me up from a dead sleep like that! So glad I’m not the only one. Can you imagine if any of us woke any of these women up like that?? Horrible.	/r/Divorce_Men	24/12/25 10:46 PM
1	I miss my cat I lost all 3 of my cats I took care of for 12 plus years after mine and she took them … I feel this .	/r/Divorce_Men	24/12/25 12:54 AM
3	Things to look forward to as a newly free Man This is me. I took a 2.5 week cross country train trip and stayed across the country as I’ve always wanted to do it as a kid but ex never did. First major solo trip and it was amazing. Traveled other places as well and it is so freeing.	/r/Divorce_Men	22/12/25 05:58 PM
4	Just looking for support for anyone that may have been married to a narcissist. I’m down and struggling here. I have no privacy or peace and trying to decide what to do next and build the courage to actually file. Sorry for this. This was my wife as well, minus the physical aspects or kids (although she did have occasional fits where she hit me but rare). He family was always prioritized and when I tried to actually plan something with mine, she’d say “they didn’t make her feel welcome” despite us being together 16 years - ten gaslight me into thinking I was the problem because I didn’t plan anything with them. Yeah well I wonder why. Just one aspect of the tons of control and manipulation - many of us ex…	/r/Divorce_Men	22/12/25 12:26 AM
3	I fell into the toilet and learned something about myself. lol this is me. When married I did this once somehow too and also got an earful even tho I said I’ve never before. Now living alone over a year … I legit did the same thing and fell into the toilet! I have a feeling most men have this exact experience. Glad I’m not the only one. I also went OH MY GOD GROSS then laughed out loud.	/r/Divorce_Men	16/12/25 07:36 PM
0	Dog Died I feel this. I lost my 3 old cats me and my ex had forever, and I took care of them mostly … and she took them in our divorce due to extenuating circumstances. It sucks so bad because she now told me a year later the 20 year old one is dying of cancer and she won’t let me see her. She knows my love of animals especially mine and taking care of them 15+ years and me and her were together 16, 8 married. I feel for you so much. But - don’t blame yourself totally or cry that much over her - obviousl…	/r/Divorce_Men	15/12/25 10:58 PM
5	@ what point is an attorney worth it It’s always worth it … PLEASE get one. You need protections and to know your rights to keep as much of your assets. She’s taken too much already and I think you’d not have lost as much.	/r/Divorce_Men	15/12/25 10:28 PM
4	Another bljnd side I get this on the part about when shit gets tough. I had a bad TBI and all I wanted was her love and support and she went the opposite way, gaslighting me that she was suffering and doing everything because I couldn’t. Such a crock because she’s so manipulative and has massive manic anxiety and refused to seek help. Bottom line - I was the only one who figured out my health and after therapy got the courage to end a 16 year relationship and 8 year marriage - got my lawyer and ducks in a row and …	/r/Divorce_Men	15/12/25 06:59 PM
8	Tired of the gaslighting BS Dude yes. I thought I had the perfect life and didn’t wanna blow it up. Once I did, things just shed away … the material shit.. the mental gymnastics… I was finally back in control of my destiny. I’m renting a 500 ft apt in the middle of my local town and I’m so happy. Went from a 3000 sq ft house with too much shit to that. Now I travel, see fam and friends, save money. Go out. Do trivia. Read books. It’s amazing.	/r/Divorce_Men	13/12/25 10:32 PM
8	Tired of the gaslighting BS Yeah, it’s like I did all that… didn’t matter. Goalpost always moved.	/r/Divorce_Men	13/12/25 09:07 PM
19	Tired of the gaslighting BS What I’ve learned is that she’s on tik tok and Instagram all day seeing the other women talking about how they “tame” their man or “get rid of them” all together, depending on what the issue is. I’m liberal as they get but social media has been a virus to many minds. I was “the perfect husband” but it was never enough. Now I’m happier than ever.	/r/Divorce_Men	13/12/25 09:04 PM
2	Day 1 Agreed with everyone else! It reminds me of Gotye “now you’re just somebody that I used to l know….” It describes this feeling we all have had. 16 years together, 7 married. I get it. Hang in there - work on yourself and the world is at your feet now!	/r/Divorce_Men	04/12/25 06:03 PM
8	Why wait to hook up? Don’t wait. That was a big part of the many reasons we split - dead bedroom. Like you said, as long as you’re up front with who you are and what you want, and so is she, why not? “Just out of a long relationship and marriage and looking for a respectful and up front FWB.” Or similar. It’s worked for me and when things seem like it’s gonna go south or clingy? Move on. Definitely don’t get into an actual relationship for a while. But have fun. I’ve been going out with friends and it’s super fun to…	/r/Divorce_Men	02/12/25 09:23 PM
5	Going downhill pretty fast….. In addition to what everyone else says - no, it only gets worse and never better. You’re both at the end of your ropes and mentally are checked out. Happened to me too. We went to therapy at my insistence and it turned into the “let’s bash me” session instead of us having a safe space to discuss things. It honestly just proved that I was right in wanting to split after 16 years. It sucks so bad, but things you’d suck up before just become irritating and you don’t care. That means you’re ready.	/r/Divorce_Men	02/12/25 07:05 PM
2	Feeling unsettled, lonely, and a little lost. Agreed with what many others say - and this is all normal. You’re mourning the life you once had, and that’s ok. Those memories are yours to cherish forever. Think of it as the end of once cycle of your life and the beginning of the next. Both are equally important, just different. Don’t dwell on it too much - yes mourn, but then move forward to the next. I’m a year out and these feelings hit a lot in the first months and I had no idea how I’d feel differently. But, now I do. With time and dista…	/r/Divorce_Men	01/12/25 04:04 PM
1	Ex wants to send my son with a locked phone that notifies her if it’s accessed — looking for thoughts before I respond Ditto to what everyone else said. Clear violation and also freaking crazy. Holy cow - how does she have the money plus will to do all of this? Like, move on.	/r/Divorce_Men	01/12/25 02:23 PM
3	I told her I’m divorcing her I feel this and similar to me. Once they can’t manipulate or control you anymore they can’t understand why you’re not capitulating anymore. The shoe will drop… they always try other methods to make you suffer or make it seem like they’re in control even when you’re trying to be civil and fair and equitable about the separation. They need us to feel worse off than they feel. But hang in there - be civil, continue to walk away and hold the boundaries. Don’t allow her to walk over you.	/r/Divorce_Men	01/12/25 04:53 AM
1	Holidays alone Feel for you. I don’t have kids but can’t imagine the toll it takes, especially with an ex badmouthing you. I’ve been doing a lot more holidays with friends and found it to be amazing. I will still see my mom and sisters at times but they live 4 hours away, and spent most holidays over the last 15 years before divorce with my ex family (of course, she insisted as always). Leaning on friends who are open to having you keeps the loneliness at bay…even for a bit. Hang in there. It gets better.	/r/Divorce_Men	25/11/25 02:28 PM
1	Dating in this time period is wild! Yes!! My ex wife and I met in college in 2009 and together 16 years total, 8 married until this year. All you said is extremely true. Especially in my area which is a lot of military and smaller pool.. not many. Although I have seen a lot of swinging and cheaters lol not very conducive to genuine relationships!	/r/Divorce_Men	24/11/25 02:15 PM
5	Dating in this time period is wild! Man, I’m 37 and a year into divorce/separation and found the same thing. There are good ones but they’re mostly already married or in a relationship in my area. It’s insanity.	/r/Divorce_Men	23/11/25 08:08 PM
4	Wife 29F ask for separation from husband 31M Agreed with this all 100%. This all pretty kick happened to me at 36 and it was the biggest best thing that’s happened to me - rediscovered who I am and focusing on me. Never marry again is exactly right.	/r/Divorce_Men	16/11/25 08:17 PM
1	Need advice What state do you live in on that salary and 4 kids and a house, cars and a camper? I make more than that and I’m solo and doing fine, but I rent and have no debt and if I had any other expenses it would suck. Regardless, get a consult with a lawyer. Usually not too expensive but worth it. You’re in a decent position tbh - her not working is part of it but not all. She has the potential to work but doesn’t and the courts will take that into account. Get concrete details from a lawyer and you wil…	/r/Divorce_Men	14/11/25 02:32 AM
3	Regretting leaving Hard disagree. Yes try, but if it’s like this it won’t change. I learned this. I stayed for 16 years, 8 married and shoulda 5 years ago. Always made an excuse for myself. I will suggest before you leave to go to therapy for at least 6-8 months weekly and explore this and see how you feel. I am almost certain you will be even more confident and be a better man and father. Your kids will not hate you. They will look back and see their father had the strength to do what is hard but still fight for …	/r/Divorce_Men	12/11/25 04:45 PM
1	Processing marriage incompatibilities and impending separation (with young kids involved) So relatable … was me and my ex but no kids. I’m 37m but together 16 married 8. Hang in there.	/r/Divorce_Men	11/11/25 07:43 PM
4	Think of this what you may… Exactly this. This so much. This happened. And being in therapy I was also able to check my own behavior. Insanity.	/r/Divorce_Men	09/11/25 07:29 PM
1	Post divorce, do you guys go dutch on 1sr dates? Yes always. If she’s a real one, she’d insist on split. That’s when I know she’s good.	/r/Divorce_Men	09/11/25 06:02 AM
2	I want your advice - ex wants to charge me for rent, should i? Manipulation. You’re entitled to a portion of that money she saved. She’s not as smart and she thinks she is. Are you completely divorced or not yet? Get a lawyer NOW and disclose everything - I am almost certain she owes you half of that … especially taking into account you paid everything and she saved it … that’s joint marital funds she got during the marriage just like she benefited from you paying everything during the marriage. GET A LAWER and figure this out ASAP before she keeps going. S…	/r/Divorce_Men	04/11/25 09:30 PM
3	My Wife Joined an Ultraconservative, speaking in tongues, Evangelical Cult. Holy shit - that’s quite insane. Its so incredible to me that so many smart people have not fallen into this religious and fascist shut that has all been debunked and rejected years ago - the algorithm has descended once good intelligent people into these pits of craziness and I have no idea how. We’ve had it so good that they’ve forgotten all the work, science, history, civic engagement, voting etc that got us to this that they take it for granted - once it’s gone it’s hard to get back. It’s a …	/r/Divorce_Men	04/11/25 07:34 PM
2	/Coparenting I don’t have kids (thank god my ex wife didn’t want them) but I’m not surprised tbh. Look at many of the stories we all have shared about a lot of the narcissistic, manipulative behavior many of our exes exhibited - not saying we’re all except or perfect, but I’ve seen, even as a fairly liberal man, especially after this experience of divorce and seeing other similar stories, that we’ve definitely got a thing with woman now seeing on Instagram and til tok a lot of pretty crazy shit demonizing AL…	/r/Divorce_Men	03/11/25 07:04 PM
4	She’s flying off the handle Understand a bit of this. My ex thought she was gonna dictate terms because her mommy (she’s 37 and talks to her mom 5 times a day and does whatever she wants) told her all she could do. Problem is that I have my ducks in a row, retained a lawyer and had always been fiscally responsible and made sure I could back it all up since we’d been very transparent financially during our marriage. Every time she tried something (aka her parents told her) my lawyer (and I suspect hers too) basically said n…	/r/Divorce_Men	03/11/25 06:11 PM
1	Finally part of the "It Gets Better" club. This is so right. It gets a lot worse before it gets so much better, but it DOES get better. More than you can imagine. You just have to stick it out and be true to yourself and others, despite the shit they toss your way. I realized that the accusations and gaslighting and mental abuse is all to throw you off your game; to make you seem like you’re a shit man and deserve this - when they seem to have no qualms nor culpability. You wanna scream into the void with indignant righteous anger about …	/r/Divorce_Men	03/11/25 05:31 PM
3	Wife wants divorce Man oh man. What is it with these narcissistic, gaslighting women? My ex wife was pretty similar to this and made me out like everything was my fault even though, like you, you tried - even if you and your own faults and weren’t perfect… like me. Thank god we had no kids. Her mom was exactly like this and treated her dad like shit, who basically made all the money for her and her mom stays home - so this is how my ex wife thinks you’re supposed to be. Hang in there - glad you’re getting a lawyer…	/r/Divorce_Men	30/10/25 04:35 PM
11	No one cares about men I’m a year out from this and 6 months from official divorce. Spent 16 years with the same woman and 8 married. Thankfully no kids, but I felt this same way. In the guest bedroom for a few months until we figured it all out and … it’s lonely sometimes. Honestly, a lot of the time. Therapy and friends and family helped, but it always seems like you have to be the one to engage - which is usually my MO anyways as an extrovert, but during that part of your life, you’re especially raw and are yearnin…	/r/Divorce_Men	29/10/25 03:43 PM
2	Divorced but feeling used Dude no. You ARE being used. Self respect is key in all this and you need to set that boundary.	/r/Divorce_Men	27/10/25 05:16 PM
2	Do I need a lawyer Yes. Always get a a lawyer. Always! We agreed with 95% but she was manipulative so I knew I needed the backup. It was because of the lawyer behind me that she couldn’t pull anything - which she woulda. Those last 20% will be hard without one. So worth it.	/r/Divorce_Men	27/10/25 05:06 PM
3	Paternity Fraud That’s … something l	/r/Divorce_Men	26/10/25 01:26 AM
5	Honest questions regarding all your ex wives I feel this so much.	/r/Divorce_Men	24/10/25 03:35 PM
4	How do I bring it up Yeah, have to agree with the others here. Do it now after you get your ducks in a row and a lawyer ready. It may seem kind to wait til after the surgery, but it’s not. Not only are you gonna be paying for “half”, you’re also gonna be waiting for recovery which could take a while. Plus, as I have found, there is never a “good” time. I shoulda 5 years ago but always found an excuse. It doesn’t matter in the end. It’s going to be better for both of you.	/r/Divorce_Men	22/10/25 06:55 PM
6	Next marriage I will probably never get married again. My thought is that if someone loves me and wants to be with me genuinely that much, we don’t need to be married. Th only kicker is that society and legal norms stipulate marriage for many rights and benefits … so it sucks there. The world needs to wake up to the fact that marriage just serves to put mostly women down, but also both sides in general.	/r/Divorce_Men	22/10/25 12:43 PM
2	Wanted to provide an update to the post below: Things were so much worse than I thought. Ugh, I could feel how much that hurt. But - moving on is the best you can do despite how much pain you feel right now. It will hurt for a while, but it really does get better - SO much better. Hang in there.	/r/Divorce_Men	21/10/25 12:27 AM
7	Just got told my wife didn't want to keep working on our marriage, then she tried to get me to leave this same day First of all - I’m sorry about his all. As a man who lost 3 cats to my ex wife because I was unable to take any of them after our divorce due toys living situation, I feel for you about losing your pets in the circumstance. Second - holy cow. Just - I’m so sorry. This is honestly mental. I’m also 37 and my ex wife turned into a different person to the one I knew 16 years ago. Or even 6 years ago. The fact she’s trying to discard you so easily is heartbreaking. Hang in there. I’ve been browbeaten…	/r/Divorce_Men	20/10/25 12:13 AM
0	How can I convince my SO she has a better marriage that her friends are jealous of? I find this interesting but understandable, in a way. I am one of those now living a comfortable single life after 8 years married and a 16 year relationship that should have broken up years ago instead of this year. I think her friends aren’t necessarily telling her being single is better, she’s just seeing their “freedom” and having thoughts - but if your marriage is relatively ok and she were totally committed, then why is she having these thoughts after being with single friends? There may b…	/r/Divorce_Men	19/10/25 09:07 PM
2	My wife is whoring around I agree with this too. OP is taking this way too seriously imo. She’s doing what she wants now, and while it sucks, she’s acting like this because of her own issues. You’re still a man - divorce her as fast as possible and move on. I know it’s gonna be hard, but you need to get as far away from that as possible and live by your choices. I don’t agree with the no sex before marriage thing, but that’s me. I think this is the fallout from that too, tbh. She never had her wild time in her earlier ye…	/r/Divorce_Men	16/10/25 05:46 PM
3	I put inheritance in joint bank account. Am I fucked? My brother in Christ, Pleaseeeee get a lawyer! Do what they all say!!	/r/Divorce_Men	15/10/25 04:00 AM
7	Divorce has been one of the best things to ever happen to me. That’s very true. It’s kinda nuts because I’m a pretty emotional and liberal guy, and was a great partner and husband - one that tried to be as self aware and cognizant of her and our relationship. But it was like I was always at the mercy of her whims, yet she made it seem like it was always me and whatnot. No, I’m not perfect, but I was demonized by the end of our relationship, and she had no issues despite me actually getting over my ego and going to therapy and dealing with me shit. After th…	/r/Divorce_Men	14/10/25 06:18 PM
14	Divorce has been one of the best things to ever happen to me. Literally all the same for me a year out….i coulda written 95% of this. 37 now but didn’t know any better at 21. Strange how many men have nearly identical experiences. It’s reading this sort of thing that gave me the courage to get out of it and be who I really am. The part of “ I own the frame now and can cut these women off whenever I want if they annoy me or overstep. I have regained my masculinity, autonomy, and internal validation. I no longer have to spend holidays with my ex’s horrible f…	/r/Divorce_Men	14/10/25 05:04 PM
3	What is it with perimenopause? I’m sorry for all you’ve been through, but you’re def not alone. I’m sure you saw my past from last week and I myself am just a year out from my own divorce and craziness, much of which is similar to lots of other men. The social media thing is infuriating and all men become the villain for one reason or another, despite being good or bad or somewhere in between. I tried so much … as it seems you did. I wish I coulda been to therapy earlier and cut it off sooner for both our sakes.	/r/Divorce_Men	13/10/25 09:36 PM
9	Am I wrong? Yikes. Just…. Yikes.	/r/Divorce_Men	13/10/25 08:18 PM
3	My Wife Asks for Divorce Every Month When PMSing Agreed. I felt horrible because I loved her so much and hated seeing her suffer when I knew she could get help. She just let herself go through it because she thought she knew better. It still pains me a year after our departing and divorce.	/r/Divorce_Men	11/10/25 11:14 PM
3	My Wife Asks for Divorce Every Month When PMSing Agree with this. I suspect my ex wife had the same, plus she had undiagnosed mental illness and anxiety that she refused to correct with her medication, so for months at a time she’d be in rage mode until she relented and tried a new medication. I also suspect pmmd and other physical health issues were part of it too, especially since we had no intimacy or sex for over 5 years. I know meds can do this, but it was like this way before those. Regardless, you’re right - op, don’t be like us. I wait…	/r/Divorce_Men	11/10/25 08:43 PM
3	It's the same story!! My ex wife didn’t have this actually, surprisingly! It was me who was so unhappy and figured it out after therapy and lots of work on myself. She was just stagnant and was going to stay the same as she was as comfortable in her life. After I broke the news she said she was also going to end it if I didn’t - which I don’t believe at all. I think she was trying to make herself like she was motivated, when in reality it was the opposite. Regardless, I do see Thai same formula a lot, though, so you’…	/r/Divorce_Men	11/10/25 08:40 PM
3	Online Dating (Post Divorce) I second this! 37 m and divorced a year. Looked for the exact same thing as you and FB dating is much easier and I’ve been successful as well. Also agree to make sure you’re up front and truthful.	/r/Divorce_Men	09/10/25 07:42 PM
3	Appreciation Post for the Community This is a great idea, and I def have done a few things like this! Similarly, I went on a 2 week cross country train trip as a post divorce gift to myself and it was immensely rewarding. Something I’d always wanted to do but never could.	/r/Divorce_Men	08/10/25 11:06 AM
2	Appreciation Post for the Community It’s good advice - I don’t plan on marrying again (would have to be very convincing at least lol). I was 21 and naive from a relatively sheltered childhood about sex and relationships, and fell into something very fast…then convinced myself it was all normal as the years went on. If someone wants to be with me, then marriage shouldn’t necessarily be something that is needed - I know that’s a controversial take lol	/r/Divorce_Men	07/10/25 11:11 PM
1	Appreciation Post for the Community That’s awesome to hear - it’s something I hear so much from many men nowadays…. I wanted to be a better person and once I shed away my own negative tendencies…. I found it wasn’t just me. It was hard to get there - it sucked a lot really examining yourself and admitting your flaws.	/r/Divorce_Men	07/10/25 09:07 PM