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Enflamed-Pancake Archive

View 0 posts and 114 comments by Enflamed-Pancake on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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–

Everyone enjoys the benefits of a high trust society, even if they pretend they don’t because no one wants to fuck them.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/25 04:26 PM
–

We owe other women and other men due moral consideration - the same kind of moral consideration we implicitly expect from others when we leave home and assume that most people aren’t going to rob us or harm us. But we don’t owe specific or special considerations to women over men.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/25 03:51 PM
–

Yes. I try to only worry about things within my direct control. I can do my best to be the best possible version of myself. I can’t control whether women find me attractive though. So I stopped worrying about it. It won’t change it. Took years for it to finally become my default though. I might live my life alone or I might find a partner, or any other range of possible outcomes. My agency in shaping those outcomes is not entirely up to my actions, so all I can do is my best and make peace with …
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/25 03:37 PM
3

Of course. Her being a victim of a bad person has no bearing on how I would feel about her. Though I would encourage her to also seek therapy to work on her issue where she cries if I am upset with her. I’d also have to also demonstrate over time that regardless of how I might feel at a given moment, she is at no risk from me and that the relationship is a safe space regardless of how annoyed we might be at each other.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/25 11:38 AM
–

Men are seen as disposable because early human societies likely worked out that your woman population represents the bottleneck that controls how quickly you can reproduce your society. A man’s involvement in reproduction is both more limited and scalable, so sacrificing them is a no brainer compared to women. It’s fucked, but it’s a byproduct of our biology.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/25 12:26 PM
12

Good comment. Truthfully, I fall into the latter camp. Working as hard as I can to improve myself - physically, socially, educationally, career - to be in the “people who matter” camp. But there’s definitely a time limit, after which if I am still failing I will kill myself. I don’t want to have to live through middle and old age alone, unloved and undesired. It is emotionally painful though I do my best to not let it get in the way of productive activities. My motivation to act is rooted in a b…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/12/24 11:56 AM
7

Let’s give it 20 years and see who is killing themselves then. I suspect a lot of young virgins who feel deeply depressed about it will opt out in their forties. What we’re seeing is a relatively recent phenomenon.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/12/24 11:22 AM
2

It was not a criticism or a ‘you should already know this.’ Apologies if it came across that way. I meant it more as ‘it’s a good phrase to pick up upon and add to your repertoire.’
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/24 06:35 PM
2

It’s a really common expression.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/24 06:24 PM
4

Not in the slightest. I consider such notions abhorrent, and often demean women to the status of cattle.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/12/24 12:34 PM
–

‘The bar is on the floor’ is just rhetoric from single women who want to pretend that the only reason they are single is because men don’t meet their reasonable standards. What is actually happening is the men they are physically attracted to don’t meet their behavioural standards because those men have no incentive to behave as such. I personally know three men who would make good, committed partners. Good jobs, educated, progressive - they aren’t the type to drink beers in front of the TV whil…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/12/24 12:32 PM
2

I don’t cold approach with the immediate intent of asking for a date. When I speak to women at the bar, or are introduced by a mutual acquaintance, I’ll just chat normally and if I think there is some compatibility I’ll throw in some flirting and see how it’s responded to. If the response is positive I’ll ask for a date. But over the last 5 years I’ve had only 2 instances where that flirting got a reciprocal response, out of at least 40-50 attempts.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/24 10:31 AM
5

The question of kids is a bit of a joke to me because I haven’t met anyone who would be interesting in procreating with me anyway. But I don’t think I’d want kids anyway. I believe would make a poor parent and I’m not convinced that life is universally affirmable.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/24 12:50 AM
2

I would say that if you come across someone who interests you, you don’t have much to lose by at least trying. It is unlikely to work, but the time and effort involved is small so it’s easy to do incidentally as you meet people.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/24 05:17 PM
2

I’ve known cases of lonely men finding brides abroad and it’s evident from the get go that she’s there for the opportunity to get out of a shanty town into a western living standards. While you might be able to cynically say both parties benefit from the arrangement, it feels gross and exploitative to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/24 12:35 PM
6

Agreed. If you’re going to (being realistic) poorer countries in order to have more leverage/appeal compared to the native population, don’t be surprised when you are selected solely for your means.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/24 12:21 PM
1

No one has been born both or grown up as both so meaningful comparisons are pretty much impossible. A lot of it also comes to the man you are born as, meaning Where, when and what (genetics and family).
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/24 04:24 PM
–

One can be not entitled to sex but sex can still be a physical and emotional need. Social connections are also psychological need but no one’s out there suggesting the state allocate you a few mates. Acknowledging something as a need does not mean the state is required to provision it. Needs can also be placed on a scale. We need food and water or else we will die quite quickly. We can live longer without shelter, but we will likely succumb to illness from being exposed to the elements constantl…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/24 04:20 PM
3

My social skills are very good. I’m good at getting people talking and keeping a conversation going, getting them to share about themselves and I’ve great observational humour. I’m very confident in speaking to people I’ve never spoken to before, and I can strike up a conversation with anyone, anywhere. I’m also decently read and have broad awareness of current events and cultural trends, so I can speak to almost any topic you can think of. I’m that good at engaging with people that I consistent…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/24 05:42 PM
5

I’m glad you have that support, everyone should have that and deserves it! I’d say my parents care about me but more at a surface level. If I’m earning well, and generally not a public embarrassment, how content I feel internally is of lesser import. That doesn’t mean I don’t value the care they do have, but again it’s a case of realising that my more ‘existential’ burdens have to be carried alone. My parents are good people and great parents, and I wouldn’t ever want to suggest otherwise. I agr…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/24 01:49 PM
5

I’m not a woman, so I cannot speak for what women’s friendships are like or how they form. But as a man I would suggest that any friendships that I’ve had with other men are not based on a real emotional connection. You’re included in a group because you’re funny, good at a shared activity or you bring something to the table. Those people have no interest or care for your problems, don’t bring those with you when we go to the pub or play 5-a-side. I’ve known plenty of people over my life and bee…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/24 01:29 PM
7

It doesn’t surprise me. While some men will be unmarried and childless by choice, I’d say the majority fall into the group of being too unattractive (physically, intellectually, emotionally, financially or otherwise) to get a committed partner. I’d suggest that it’s likely that men already doing terribly are less likely to find partners, and continue to do terribly due to things like loneliness and isolation. Men doing well get married and have a support network and sufficient motivation (throug…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/24 01:14 PM
12

No, it has to be a moral failing so we can justify looking down on people.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/24 08:52 AM
2

It is costly to tax payers My money is already spent on plenty of shit I will never benefit from and ideologically disagree with. Why is this where we draw the line? Having a father is more important than having a biological father But why shouldn’t men have a right to know whether the child is biologically related to them before committing to fatherhood? Is it acceptable to swindle men into parenthood under false pretences? It will inevitably tears some families apart It will only tear families…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/24 06:24 PM
1

The men who are willing to rape someone probably aren’t amenable to moral arguments or concerned with ‘fixing themselves.’ It’s not a question of these men not knowing that rape is wrong and needing to be educated, it’s a matter of them knowing it is wrong and not caring. I don’t know what I can do about those men, unless I actually see the rape happening, being perfectly honest. It’s like asking what I can do about men who are willing to rob my house. The only thing I can realistically do is lo…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/24 03:17 PM
11

My right hand can’t make a false allegation.
/r/MensRights07/05/24 02:58 PM
361

The question is dumb because it’s a hypothetical. No one, especially not people used to comfortable urban living, would pick the bear in reality. But saying you’d pick the bear from the comfort of your couch is an easy way to signal your feminism. The question is answered with the same consideration that ‘Would you love me if I was a worm’ is asked.
/r/MensRights07/05/24 08:59 AM
2

fact Do you have a citation for this ‘fact’?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/24 06:21 PM
1

I can empathise with women over being harassed when they aren’t looking for anything. That can’t be pleasant and some men do not take rejection well, which can put women under a lot of social pressure to not come across too strongly in their rejection. Personally I don’t understand men who get upset at being told ‘No’, even if the way it is delivered seems harsh. I don’t empathise with women who choose bad partners because they allowed themselves to be blinded by traits they found attractive and…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/04/24 11:31 AM
4

Agreed on Dr K. Wish he had been around when I was 18-21.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/24 05:14 PM
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Anything which has negative consequences for society can be constituted as a crisis. The root cause isn’t relevant. That the phenomenon is being observed in a significant proportion of men indicates that there are factors beyond individual failings contributing to it. ‘It is not women’s problem’ - sure, not at an individual level. But it is society’s problem, since it is contributing to worse economic and social outcomes. By the same logic I could say that it’s not men’s problem that there are l…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/24 11:59 AM
15

I don’t think this is incorrect. For the average man, dating is an uphill battle with more rejection than success. A mindset that can weather that, or dismiss it, will serve better than one that gets upset. Unfortunately I have yet to be able to not take rejection personally (I have never shown this publicly, I always conduct myself with dignity in public), but internally it does rock me.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/24 12:06 AM
2

I don’t go out of my way to specifically make male or female friends, but I’ve met more men with whom I have shared interests and perspectives.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/03/24 01:10 PM
2

If a woman selects the best of who approaches her, she isn’t settling. She’s getting what she can actually get in the market. Any feelings to the contrary are simply delusions on her part.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/24 09:44 AM
2

A prenup is discussed and put on the table before committing to a marriage. Secret accounts are a deception. The issue with a stay at home spouse putting away money into a secret account is that it is money being taken out of the running of the family, putting further financial strain on the sole earner. It’s one thing if you are putting aside a portion of your own income that you earned yourself, and the needs of the family are being met (and you are actively contributing to those needs). But a…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/24 09:41 AM
4

I think it’s simpler, but not necessarily easier, due to less variables in the equation. There isn’t another person whose needs and wants you have to take into account on a day to day basis when making decisions. What you miss is the emotional support of a partner, as well as the ability to split day to day tasks - washing the dishes is twice as fast when someone can dry simultaneously, as a small example. When you’re single you have to contend with life by yourself, without any support.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/24 01:50 AM
–

Given my risk averse personality, yes.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/24 04:38 PM
10

‘If she likes you, you will know. It will not be ambiguous.’
/r/PurplePillDebate09/01/24 06:41 PM
17

Turkeys don’t vote for Christmas.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/01/24 03:58 PM
3

Plenty of men trust their partners who have and do cheat on them. Mandatory testing would also protect those men whose trust has been misplaced.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/01/24 03:50 PM
1

The United States ≠ every jurisdiction in the world. Further you can only get a paternity test for a child in the US without the mother’s consent if you already have taken on parental responsibility for the kid, which largely defeats the purpose of getting the test. So it isn’t a free for all like you are implying.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/01/24 03:46 PM
1

And it would constitute a crime to do so in some jurisdictions, landing you in criminal court if found out.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/01/24 03:33 PM
0

Whether or not you can legally obtain a test depends on jurisdiction.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/01/24 03:30 PM
2

Hard to differentiate the serious ones and the ones who have affairs but still present the wholesome family routine at Sunday service.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/01/24 03:29 PM
52

Fix the housing problem present in many developed countries. I know plenty of women who want to have children and have partners who also want children, but don’t want to have them until they have a secure roof over their heads that they own, as opposed to simply rent. Many young people are still living with multiple friends like it’s University because it’s the only feasible way to afford rent. No one is going to be having kids in that circumstance.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/12/23 08:22 PM
1

I’ve made it reasonably well in my career, but I continue to work at it and see what opportunities open up. I am an amateur game dev in my spare time and I hope to some day share a story with the world that at least a few people can find joy and investment in. Beyond that it’s just look after my family as best I can.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/23 08:28 PM
–

You were incredibly fucking stupid, even for only having been 22. You’re lucky you didn’t end up a father to a child.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/23 09:33 AM
5

Anything less than desire is not a foundation for a relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/23 04:05 PM
2

Yes. In general my preferences seemed to be linked to assumptions in my mind of what kind of individual I would be compatible with. I don’t have much of a ‘type’ in looks. I find a wide variety of women very attractive. But for personality I would have a definite preference for introverted, bookish types over loud extroverted types. I don’t enjoy the company of loud people in general.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/12/23 12:36 PM
4

One key difference is that you can still casually date and keep your social skills up to date for when you meet a suitor you really like. For many men the opportunities to engage with the opposite sex 1 on 1 outside of a formal context is sporadic. Additionally if you have 100 suitors in your current network, it stands to reason that expanding your network will net more suitors (if 100 guys you know like you, it’s pretty likely you’ll meet more guys who like you as you meet more guys) - some of …
/r/PurplePillDebate30/11/23 11:57 AM
29

You posted in a NSFW group and want to pretend that the behaviour of men in that group is representative of men in their entirety. How can you be sure that your sample is representative?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/11/23 06:30 PM
14

How are men not worse off today than before? I didn’t say ‘worse off.’ Wrong. People are drinking more today than before. More so alcoholism among women is largely not recognize as people still relate alcoholism with drinking alcohol harder than wine. Mention that because women are more apt to drink wine and would more likely drink it often. https://www.statista.com/statistics/1125003/alcohol-consumption-frequency-by-age-group-uk/ https://www.businesswire.com/news/home/20231026376279/en/2023-Roa…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/11/23 02:35 PM
47

The article seems to be paywalled so I wasn’t able to read it. I think the issue with this discussion is defining what a ‘good’ or ‘marriageable’ man is. Sure, there’s probably a baseline set of criteria we can imagine, but baseline isn’t anyone’s idea of good. What I think is happening is a outworking of cultural shifts around marriage and individual autonomy. A woman who is 30 and unmarried is not stigmatised nearly as much as she would have been decades ago. Likewise no one would pass much, i…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/11/23 12:36 PM
16

Do you think misogynistic, racist, homophobic men are mates with men who aren’t? People generally make friend groups with people who are like them, and share similar opinions. I’ve never seen any friend of mine make such a comment or harass a woman before. I feel like there are cultural and lifestyle gaps between men who engage in such disgusting behaviour and men who don’t such that they wouldn’t even be near the same social circles.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/11/23 03:58 PM
3

What you’re highlighting without realising is what ultimately matters is the extent of competition around you, and where you stack up in that totem pole. When you live in a more densely populated place, you are in competition with more men, even just hypothetically. If something about you fails to impress a date, they can drop you in the confidence there’s a massive pool out potential candidates out there. One way for men to become more competitive in dating is to date in areas where there is li…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/11/23 03:46 PM
7

You obviously cared enough to drag this out with your stupidity.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/11/23 08:20 PM
5

I’m not French, so your joke doesn’t work.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/11/23 08:17 PM
15

Speak for yourself. There is no rule stating all content must be in reference to the United States.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/11/23 08:03 PM
19

Depends on jurisdiction. France, for instance, requires a court order as I understand.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/11/23 03:22 PM
14

Many advocates would view it as a gender problem, for while the specifics of paternity testing rights will vary across jurisdictions, and some will be better (in their view) than others - there will still be an observable pattern across numerous places where men cannot access paternity testing. A comparable example is equal pay for women - this is definitely framed as a gender issue, despite different countries have different legal protections, frameworks, initiatives and outcomes around the iss…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/11/23 02:33 PM
8

I never claimed to be in the camp advocating for this. I simply corrected an incorrect assertion in your OP. Depending on your jurisdiction, you may not be able to get one without the consent of the mother or a court order.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/11/23 02:23 PM
33

Concerns about money is not the root cause of the call for mandatory paternity testing. Most men who want them would pay for them gladly, it is more about ensuring that they can actually get one even if the mother isn’t happy about it.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/11/23 02:17 PM
1

There are plenty of tee-total social opportunities where I live (and I come from a country with a bigger drinking culture than the US). They aren’t government created, but plenty of women are into hobbies like hiking, rock climbing, book clubs, dance classes and volunteering initiatives. The men who complain about this don’t leave their houses and just want an excuse for their inaction.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/23 03:12 PM
96

‘Touch grass’ isn’t advice. It’s social shaming to try and paint whatever argument you have made as something only a basement dwelling neckbeard who doesn’t wash would say. It’s no different than people saying ‘incel vibes’, even when it’s obvious the person being accused isn’t an incel. It’s a bad faith rhetorical device, nothing more.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/23 02:37 PM
1

Not once. I wouldn’t use emojis like that because I’m an adult who tries to conduct himself with some dignity.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/10/23 05:42 PM
1

I haven’t lived an especially full life, but I’ve made peace with it.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/10/23 05:21 PM
2

I would say I’m attracted to about 6 in every 10 women my own age, so it’s hardly a ‘few’.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/10/23 10:04 AM
2

Relating to is too broad a term, I think. I have no issues socialising with men or women. Both of my closest friends are women, and I previously worked on a majority women team at work, so I’ve never had issue relating to women. I also have a good relationship with my sister and mother. Where I had issues was in understanding why I was unattractive to women when I would attempt to flirt or show romantic/sexual interest. How I resolved this was through enough social exposure - seeing which guys h…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/10/23 04:26 PM
8

People need skin in the game in order to feel invested in a mutually cooperative society. Most people’s ‘skin’ in this instance is their family. You care about the state of hospitals and schools because you have kids who will need those services. In prior generations cultural norms kept a lid on polygamous sexuality which led to a largely 1-1 pairing dynamic. Thus almost every man had skin in the game, which is why they were productively engaged with society. Of course, I’m not suggesting that s…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/10/23 01:56 PM
1

Basically the same thing I do right now. Work and spend my disposable income on hobbies and good food.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/10/23 03:18 PM
12

I’ve always had a large social circle and I never struck up any connections through it. The only advice that matters is be attractive (both in looks and personality) - that’s it.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/23 07:25 PM
1

The vast majority of people eventually settle, even if they aren’t crazy about their partner.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/23 06:43 PM
3

I watched my cousin, an educated, high value woman, get approached successfully at a funeral. While for most men time, context and place are important when consider an approaching, there is a subset of men who can approach anywhere and anytime.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/23 09:18 AM
–

Even being fat is a 50/50. If you’re not morbidly obese and otherwise have a reasonably attractive face, you’ll still get plenty of attention.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/23 02:31 PM
30

It’s more trouble than it’s worth if it requires lots of effort. If you’re at the standard where you naturally attract others then it’s probably worth engaging in because the effort to reward ratio is favourable. In my case, when I followed all the advice (active social life, strong social network, active group based hobbies, going to bars/clubs a couple of times a month, great job and salary, gym, etc), I could get about 2-3 dates a year while actively looking. Now those girls were all very nic…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/09/23 12:12 PM
6

The driving data is unreliable, as it doesn’t control for the numbers of miles driven. Men are more likely to be involved in accidents, but men are also overwhelming more likely to drive for a living - see taxi driving, truck driving and bus driving. Additionally men represent the overwhelming majority of tradesmen, which typically involves driving to a client’s home or building site to do work. Unless there is an analysis that shows the likelihood of an accident for men and women per mile drive…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/09/23 07:33 PM
2

In my late teens and early 20s my lack of success with women really got me down. Spent a lot of effort on my social skills, fashion, and the gym, but it made little noticeable difference. As I have gotten a little older and little more mature, I have made peace with this, and have cultivated a lifestyle that I find fulfilling and satisfying. I have a great career that pays highly, a great relationship with my family and hobbies that I get great enjoyment out of - and I feel genuine gratitude for…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/23 11:20 AM
1

What bullying is taking place?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/23 10:38 AM
1

I’m 5’8
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/23 07:49 AM
1

Ginger or Brunette Any, but brown eyes are nice Anywhere between 5’2 and 6’4 Not morbidly obese, beyond that I don’t have a major preference Approximately equal Equal status Less than 10 max Less than 30 max Atheist Straight 23 - 35 As long as she’s not a fascist or a communist I’m sure it’ll be fine.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/23 12:48 AM
13

Sure, but the point I am making is that being a “strong, useful guy” may not be a sufficient shield against despair. Hardworking men still get laid off and struggle to find employment during difficult economic circumstances, relationships fall apart for a variety of reasons and chronic/terminal illnesses emerge in healthy people. I have personally known multiple men in their 50s (who are the most at-risk age bracket) who have otherwise been the traditional image of a strong man with good jobs an…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/23 01:34 PM
22

Plenty of the men who kill themselves are the stoic, hardworking, “useful” kind of men you allude men should be.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/23 01:14 PM
1

No. I admit I am unattractive. And besides, I already met her. I could theoretically spend more time in the gym and change all of my hobbies and interests, but making myself miserable in the hopes of being attractive enough to a partner sounds like a grim existence.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/23 11:08 AM
29

That first plain Jane you linked is genuinely cute and attractive. All of the women I have ever had serious feelings for have been “plain Janes” physically speaking. But they were also smart, witty, cultured and kind.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/23 11:42 AM
2

The number of single mothers is more indicative of those womens’ exceptionally poor ability to choose suitable partners. They fuck guys with more red flags than the country of Denmark and then act surprised when they bail as soon as a kid appears. Rather than acknowledge they made a terrible decision, they project such behaviours onto all men to absolve themselves of any fault. “The vast majority of men are like this so it’s not my fault, no matter who I picked it would have worked out the same.…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/23 10:45 AM
–

I disagree with some of the assertions of this argument. You claim so many men find relationships on these apps, without indicating any actual numbers. What percentage of men using these apps find relationships through these apps? “So many” means absolutely nothing unless we have numbers to evaluate. Guys who have zero success on dating apps are not reaching the stage where Goals, High Standards for yourself (this could mean anything but you haven’t been specific) and conversation skills are bei…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/23 10:32 AM
5

My closest friend has been in a relationship for about 2 years or so, and he’s constantly saying he’s envious of my freedom and control over my own schedule. One of the reasons I believe I would not be a good partner is because I am too independent. I would not be one for spending a day at the in-laws purely to please her or her parents - fuck that.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/23 07:27 PM
2

Wanted. If you’re needed, you’re only kept around until you no longer needed.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/23 07:08 PM
1

I don’t disagree that a lot of men don’t meet basic standards for long term relationships and marriage, and that they have more work to do to meet those standards. But let’s not pretend that the eligible women have done equivalent work. Women have a much smaller set of standards to meet to be eligible to most men, and thus more women than men are meet the standard of eligible. More women meeting the standards of eligibility is not evidence of women’s moral superiority, rather it is simply that m…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/23 12:15 PM
40

Better to be single than with a bad partner.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/23 11:47 AM
5

Happy to date a female virgin. Also happy to wait however long it takes for both of us to feel comfortable bumping uglies. Virginity is not a point in someone’s favour nor a detriment, for me at least.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/23 07:32 PM
2

I like women, for the most part. I’ve met a few assholes along the way but the majority are decent people overall. Same with men, really. I’m more just at the point where I don’t consider the juice to be worth the squeeze when it comes to dating - but that doesn’t mean I resent or hate women at all.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/23 10:33 AM
23

I don’t get frustrated about women’s choices in men, despite being one of these “normal dudes” who doesn’t have much success with women. But by the same token I don’t have a great deal of sympathy for anyone who gets into a relationship with an individual who showcases easily spotted red flags. This goes for men and women, if you play dumb games and pick bad partners, that’s on you and I do not have any sympathy. The only exception is where kids are involved which can complicate the separation p…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/07/23 03:08 PM
6

I'm a very confident person. Unfortunately it doesn't seem to help.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/23 04:43 PM
8

I know men who are childish and immature, men who are socially inept (can barely hold conversation), men who are unemployed and living off their parents, and one man who is a drug addict. Should all be deal breakers right? All of these men are either in relationships or have been while exhibiting these behaviours. No prizes for guessing what they have in common.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/23 10:29 AM
1

I am a long term single guy. A full decade, to be precise. I am a successful professional, highly educated, active and I maintain a handful of close personal relationships with family and friends. I wouldn’t say I am terribly attractive - I would honestly describe myself as average or slightly below average - not hideous, but a bit bland looking - no one outside of my mother has ever complimented my looks. When I have described my dating life online, the number of people who assume I must never …
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/23 10:23 AM
12

They want the right to leave at any time, for any reason, and to be subsidised for doing so. Only a fool of a man would look at the how marriage and divorced are legally organised and think it’s a good idea to sign up.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/23 10:08 AM
11

Agreed. They’ve been living free on the pig’s back for years and are screeching that their free lunch is being taken away. Alimony should be based on the length of the marriage (and a fair assessment of health and fitness to work and earn for oneself), and should be only intended to facilitate a transition from married life to independent living.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/23 10:05 AM
7

I have no intention of having children, so I would only want to date people who are child free by choice.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/23 03:09 PM
8

Absolutely. I have worked professionally for the past 8 years and have never met a single person who agrees with all of the Diversity, Equity and Inclusion stuff that gets pushed (unless they are in a demographic that benefits from quotas and free promotions). But still people share the posts on LinkedIn and never say anything publicly or to their manager because not being on board with the ideology is a quick way out the door.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/23 08:52 PM
33

I know plenty of very attractive, sexually active men who pay lip service to feminist narratives for the purposes of their careers (look at LinkedIn and all the bollocks posted there) and to not alienate partners.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/23 12:29 PM
13

The people who I know who have good, stable and settled relationships are the sort who didn’t list a specific list of criteria - as opposed to just ensuring that their values were similar. You’d be surprised at just what kinds of people you can ignite a romantic spark with - it’s often not the people you might initially expect. Like if you are thinking about what you want your partners hobbies to be, or specifying what they shouldn’t be, you’re not thinking about your prospective relationship in…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/23 12:27 PM
2

I eventually found a suitable solo fitness activity in the form of swimming. It has a meditative quality that I enjoy compared to how loud a gym can be.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/23 01:14 PM
18

I half fit into this description, at least insofar as my life priorities. I have a pretty high paying job as a software developer and good education, but I am not particularly career focussed. I have pursued the career I have because it is something I can do from home in comfort, the specific tasks involved interest me, and it gives me a good disposable income for my hobbies and interests (as well as meaning I don’t have to worry about finances). I haven’t pursued money for the purposes of being…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/23 12:04 PM
3

Thank you. Where I went to school the dominant culture was sport focussed whereas I was always more of a creative, introverted type. Made me an easy target. I joined the sport team to try something new and develop my fitness, but I didn’t have much background with the sport compared to the other guys who had experience from childhood. That disparity in skill is a death sentence in an environment like that. Unfortunately the school didn’t have a team for novices to grow and build the essential co…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/23 11:46 AM
3

Looks aren’t all that matters, but without looks you’re going to have a much harder time. It’s like applying for the job - how you come across in an actual interview is more important than your CV, but a poor CV makes landing those interviews way more difficult. For those people outside the club looking in, their appearance is likely a relevant (but not complete) component of the equation, that unless they have a fantastic personality, can be difficult to compensate for. Not impossible, but ther…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/23 10:20 PM
11

Could be a chicken and egg situation. As far as I understand (not American) high school starts at 15/16, by which point kids have already had a lot of social experiences through elementary and middle education - the kids who were socially excluded or bullied are probably going to be less inclined to join clubs that extends the time they have to spend around peers who they don’t get along with (or simply convinced they won’t), which unfortunately continues to disadvantage the development of their…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/23 10:17 PM
1

Any criteria is fine - people are permitted whatever standards in dating they want, no one should ever be coerced to change standards that are important to them. Your standards might keep you single though, depending on what’s available in your dating pool and what you personally bring to the table.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/23 09:15 AM
1

For lads, don’t put your hobbies in your bio unless it’s stuff like hiking or playing guitar. You’re not getting away with having a Warhammer hobby unless you’re highly attractive.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/23 10:44 AM
2

This ignores that a high body count reduces a woman’s value to most men - meaning that the relationship material guys are less likely to want a relationship with her than if she had kept her body count lower. Depending on where you live, in many towns and cities social circles tend to intermix and everyone knows everyone through one of their friends - I live in such a place personally. That means it’s not only likely that your body count will be known about, it’s even likely that the man you wan…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/23 10:36 AM
1

For a few reasons I have zero intention of having children, so the first option, though sex with a single loyal partner for life would be my true preference.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/23 10:29 AM
3

No one is suggesting OLD is ideal for women. But having options that you can sort through is better than having zero options. And most women have options on OLD. One of the primary skills women need to develop to succeed at dating is to be able to identify men of good character. It’s very common to see women getting together with men who present a lot of obvious red flags, and for things to inevitably fall apart after a few months. This is the equivalent for women of men “thinking with their dic…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/03/23 09:46 AM
8

I wouldn’t date a girl without a decent career or a job she is passionate about because that indicates things about her character that would be red flags to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/03/23 07:32 PM
2

For me it’s more so that the effort and time required doesn’t reliably yield any results, especially when due to work and family commitments my time is incredibly limited. I’ll admit straight up that while I’m not ugly by any means, and I keep myself in reasonable shape, I just don’t have the personality to foster attraction. Personally I think I am hilarious, but it seems my sense of humour doesn’t always land. Dating and attraction is all about how you make the other person feel, and it seems …
/r/PurplePillDebate30/11/22 11:02 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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