~ archived since 2018 ~
~ archived since 2018 ~
| Upvotes | Title | Category | Author | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
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| Upvotes | Comment on | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
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| 1 | Is it bad that I pay for my own meal?This is a really beautiful and thoughtful response. For OP and anyone else interested in the invented notion of virginity, I highly recommend Hanna Bank’s book, Virgin: The Untouched History. | /r/ExRedPill | 19/03/23 02:17 AM |
| 4 | Is it bad that I pay for my own meal?This is an EXCELLENT point! | /r/ExRedPill | 19/03/23 02:12 AM |
| 3 | Is it bad that I pay for my own meal?If you are most comfortable paying for yourself, particularly early on in the dating process, then that is exactly what you should continue to do. For what it’s worth, my partner and I (40M and 40F, respectively) will occasionally treat each other, but we mostly split the bill 50/50. | /r/ExRedPill | 19/03/23 02:10 AM |
| 5 | I think I can ask women questions in this sub. "Women only like the tallest, richest, and most handsome men and don't give the others a chance" and "They don't care if a man with these qualities is an asshole." Why do you bother about when we say this?No response then? Just felt like being shitty? Thanks, comedy wizard. | /r/ExRedPill | 08/11/22 05:31 PM |
| 6 | I think I can ask women questions in this sub. "Women only like the tallest, richest, and most handsome men and don't give the others a chance" and "They don't care if a man with these qualities is an asshole." Why do you bother about when we say this?What part was supposed to be funny? Also, you don't get to dictate my response, so there's absolutely no need to tell me to chill. | /r/ExRedPill | 08/11/22 05:04 PM |
| 5 | I think I can ask women questions in this sub. "Women only like the tallest, richest, and most handsome men and don't give the others a chance" and "They don't care if a man with these qualities is an asshole." Why do you bother about when we say this?Should I have used a different tense for someone I loved deeply at one time (20 years ago) but am no longer in regular contact with? | /r/ExRedPill | 08/11/22 04:12 PM |
| 32 | I think I can ask women questions in this sub. "Women only like the tallest, richest, and most handsome men and don't give the others a chance" and "They don't care if a man with these qualities is an asshole." Why do you bother about when we say this?Those things are simply not true because ... once more everyone: "Women are not a monolith!" Is it possible that there are SOME women who only like the tallest/richest/most handsome men? Probably. Are there women who put up with an asshole because a guy is tall/rich/handsome? Probably. But I look at the men I've loved -- some are taller than me and some are not. Most have earned less than I earn. And while I've certainly been attracted to each and every one of them, I'm aware that some fall outs… | /r/ExRedPill | 07/11/22 06:28 PM |
| 9 | Promiscuity is unfilling for both gendersI think the key is, are you chasing sex or are you chasing validation? I think this is the core distinction more than anything else. It's not even just validation in the sense of "am I loved?" or "am I desirable?" I was in college in the early 2000s, so peak Sex and the City era. I saw a lot of young women who were seeking validation in the form of "this is what empowered women want and do" without ever stopping to ask themselves "but is this what I want?" or "do I feel empowered by this?" Peopl… | /r/ExRedPill | 03/11/22 05:10 PM |
| 4 | Promiscuity is unfilling for both gendersI dunno ... I had an awful lot of fun during college. | /r/ExRedPill | 03/11/22 05:05 PM |
| 2 | I have a question exredpill. How come my girlfriend can yell, scream, and curse at me during an argument. But when I tell her to stop because it's abusive it's "Too bad".No. You would not be the bad guy for leaving someone who does not treat you the way you want to be treated. That is a perfectly acceptable reason to break up with someone. | /r/ExRedPill | 28/10/22 03:39 PM |
| 11 | Is it true that promiscuous males are good because they have to be desirable to get sex?Nope. | /r/ExRedPill | 28/10/22 12:16 AM |
| 5 | What are the correct, non toxic/non redpill influenced way women should live in their 20’s?Note: I am not a dentist or a dental hygienist. I am someone who just learned the hard way. Skipping a day here and there probably isn't a huge crisis, but it is something you need to make part of your regular dental care routine. I do it daily because I am someone who thrives upon routine (my preferred mode is autopilot) -- and having done it for [x] consecutive days just makes it more likely that I won't forget to do it in the future. When I start skipping days, I fall out of the habit very ea… | /r/ExRedPill | 25/10/22 05:19 PM |
| 3 | What are the correct, non toxic/non redpill influenced way women should live in their 20’s?You know -- I was not diligent about flossing in my teens/early twenties and I paid DEARLY for it once I hit 30. Now I am a flossing evangelist. | /r/ExRedPill | 25/10/22 03:36 PM |
| 6 | What are the correct, non toxic/non redpill influenced way women should live in their 20’s?Pretty much the same way everyone should live in their 20s: Figuring out what gives them a sense of purpose and direction in life. Figuring out how to balance competing priorities (professional/personal, friends/partner). Starting to shed the unhealthy behaviors they learned in childhood/adolescence (Note: this work will continue into your 30s and - if you're not on it soon enough - your 40s as well).' Figuring out whether they want to be parents someday (on their own terms without pressure from… | /r/ExRedPill | 25/10/22 03:23 PM |
| 5 | What we men have lost.Some basic things that have historically been considered masculine that are actually just toxic: Expressing emotions other than anger/aggression = weakness The need to be the sole provider for one's family, even if it means working 3 jobs, burning yourself out, etc. Homophobic and misogynistic behavior Hyper independence Avoiding tenderness/gentleness Avoiding all forms of self care (mental and physical) other than acceptably masculine options (lifting weights, contact sports, endurance sports, … | /r/ExRedPill | 21/10/22 07:15 PM |
| 7 | What we men have lost.Good thing rates of false reports of SA are very low (about 2-10%, which is comparable to rates of false reports of other kinds of crimes). | /r/ExRedPill | 21/10/22 06:56 PM |
| 3 | What we men have lost.Sorry your mom was on the extreme side of hating all men, she was clearly coming out of a non-healthy place of hurt. Please understand that while this had a major impact on you and how you view men vs women because you grew up in this environment, it is not applicable how people feel in general since everyone grew up in all kinds of different environments. What a great perspective! Speaking from personal experience, it is REALLY difficult to learn that while your experiences are real and your em… | /r/ExRedPill | 21/10/22 06:56 PM |
| 24 | [FOR WOMEN - Experiment on penis vs height]Measurements themselves may be objective, but their importance is not. In my experience, decent and serious people do not care that much about these things to the extent that they'd say something like "I'll trade an inch of height for half an inch of schlong." | /r/ExRedPill | 20/10/22 06:43 PM |
| 46 | [FOR WOMEN - Experiment on penis vs height]I'm sure this is not the answer you're looking for, but it is the most honest answer I can give: I would prefer someone who doesn't reduce himself to his height or his genitalia like this. Why would you even want to date someone who cares that much about either of those things? | /r/ExRedPill | 20/10/22 05:52 PM |
| 16 | Can someone explain the whole alpha fucks/beta bucks thing to me? Do you think it’s real? What are your thoughts. It sounds downright terrifying.The space between your comment and "worshipping women as 100% morally pure" is a fucking canyon. I can't speak for anyone else, but I downvoted you because you're spouting pure redpill nonsense that is helpful to exactly no one. | /r/ExRedPill | 18/10/22 09:28 PM |
| 3 | An Interesting StoryI'd recommend reading the intro and first chapter all the way through -- from there, you really can jump around to the chapter titles that speak to you. | /r/ExRedPill | 03/10/22 10:40 PM |
| 5 | An Interesting StoryFor anyone looking to explore feminist thinking and theory -- but who wants/needs to stay rooted in common language and real-life examples, I highly recommend bell hooks' Feminism is for Everybody -- she has entire chapters on feminist masculinity, race, and gender. I cannot recommend it enough. From the intro (which explains why she wrote this book): "Everywhere I go I proudly tell folks who want to know who I am and what I do that I am a writer, a feminist theorist, a cultural critic ... I ten… | /r/ExRedPill | 03/10/22 07:48 PM |
| 1 | How to stop being an incelI'd like to challenge you to frame it like this: In the world of addiction, people will often refer to themselves as "in recovery" or as a "recovering addict" as opposed to a "former addict" -- someone could have been sober to 20 years and still refer to themselves as "in recovery" or "recovering" because they recognize that they still have the capacity to relapse and that casual use is just not possible. Changing your mindset is a lot like that kind of recovery. You've spent the better part of … | /r/ExRedPill | 30/09/22 08:24 PM |
| 7 | Just realized something - both RP and Fem are anti sharingWhen it comes to a purely sexual fantasy, I dunno. Everyone’s into something different. When it comes to building an actual, reciprocal relationship? Not women who respect themselves. | /r/ExRedPill | 30/09/22 02:35 PM |
| 10 | Just realized something - both RP and Fem are anti sharingAs I see it, emotional support is more about saying "I care about you. I believe in you. I want good things for you. I'm here to help however much I can and you can trust me with your thoughts and feelings." Therapy, by contrast, is much more focused on self-reflection and action items to actually change your circumstances or mindset. I think there's a real danger in constantly venting to a friend or partner because the good listener often winds up not having any support in the relationship. It … | /r/ExRedPill | 30/09/22 12:11 AM |
| 10 | Just realized something - both RP and Fem are anti sharingThat’s a great question. Where do you think the difference is? | /r/ExRedPill | 29/09/22 11:46 PM |
| 19 | Just realized something - both RP and Fem are anti sharingReal Live Feminist Here: We are not anti-sharing. I don't have any comments about the emotional tampon thing (beyond the fact that "friendzoning" is not a real thing) but I do want to comment on the latter. "Women Aren't Your Therapists" is akin to "women are not rehabilitation centers for damaged/broken men," which I think articulates the issue more clearly (though I'm not exactly comfortable with the use of "damaged" or "broken" in this context). Many, many girls and young women are sort of in… | /r/ExRedPill | 29/09/22 11:35 PM |
| 8 | Question to r/exredpill; Do the women in these videos exist in the real world? How do you avoid them? I mean r/exredpill tells me that these women don't exist.I only managed to watch about a minute and a half of the video, which featured several women saying they don't really care about the make/model of a car, but would prefer not to ride around in a vehicle that is unsafe, unreliable, or full of trash. I find it hard to find fault with those sentiments. Then I saw the entire video was 40+ minutes and just ... nah. Assuming that they go on to say that salary and job title are very important (as that's what comments on the video say) -- of course wome… | /r/ExRedPill | 29/09/22 07:32 PM |
| 9 | I’m falling back into the red pill due to being jaded that I have to do all the approachingDating sucks, period. TRP loves to make it a men vs. women problem when in reality it's just a shitty people problem. There are a lot of shitty people in the world and weeding through them is exhausting. It's true! And there are also a lot of non-shitty people who just aren't a match for you, too! That is also exhausting. In fact ... it's so fully weird when you're kind of getting to know someone and then you're like "You know what? We're both nice, decent, attractive people ... but it's still n… | /r/ExRedPill | 29/09/22 06:42 PM |
| 5 | How to stop being an incelOr -- outrageous but true -- some of us don't sit around all day frantically refreshing reddit or looking for reply notifications and we just respond when we get to it. As for me, my lunch break is now over ... so enjoy being spiteful, or whatever it is you intend to do with your limited time on Earth. | /r/ExRedPill | 23/09/22 08:50 PM |
| 9 | How to stop being an incelOP -- I'd really like to emphasize that this response is extremely thoughtful and full of really helpful, practical information. Changing your mindset is difficult work (and that difficult work is never, ever done), but you can do it. It's worth it. | /r/ExRedPill | 23/09/22 08:08 PM |
| 4 | How to stop being an incelNo, I'm not interested in that. ... which I'm sure you hear a lot. | /r/ExRedPill | 23/09/22 08:06 PM |
| 4 | How to stop being an incelNeed I continue? No, you needn't. | /r/ExRedPill | 23/09/22 07:43 PM |
| 3 | Do men need college to be successful and attractive to women?And even more than financial success, I think a lot of women are attracted to stability and reliability. Even if you're not in a super successful place career-wise yet (or ever), being the sort of person who can hold a stable job and who honors their commitments goes a really long way. | /r/ExRedPill | 16/09/22 03:40 PM |
| 4 | Do men need college to be successful and attractive to women?Of course not! There are MANY careers and life choices that do not involve formal university education -- some of these are quite lucrative and some are not. I will note the more lucrative choices do involve some sort of formal training/apprenticeship program (electrician, plumbing, construction, etc.). This scenario does not involve a man, but I think it's still relevant - my former partner did not have a 4-year degree (though she did have an associates' degree) but worked her way up to an incr… | /r/ExRedPill | 16/09/22 03:38 PM |
| 1 | My red pill journey(essay)It sounds like you are really growing! Keep up the good work — we’re all rooting for you! | /r/ExRedPill | 16/09/22 12:35 AM |
| 0 | The wall for trans people.I won’t debate or discuss your transphobic talking points because you are not discussing those in good faith. You are regurgitating some really transphobic ideas and I don’t think it will benefit either of us (or anyone following along) to dig into them in this forum. As far as the points about dating and children: I don’t know how old you are, but I grew up in the 80s-90s, and the world has changed A LOT in a very short amount of time. Marriage Equality and other civil rights protections for th… | /r/ExRedPill | 16/09/22 12:17 AM |
| 1 | The wall for trans people.Not even a little bit, but enjoy the pseudoscience circle jerk here. | /r/ExRedPill | 15/09/22 11:44 PM |
| 8 | The wall for trans people.Every time they talk about “how men are” or “how women are” as through their little theories are some sort of established fact, they fundamentally ignore the existence of the LGBTQ+ community. It is a fundamentally heteronormative/trans exclusive worldview. They don’t deny that queer people exist — they just ignore that we do. Do you understand the difference between denying that something exists and just not talking about it or considering it? | /r/ExRedPill | 15/09/22 11:41 PM |
| -3 | The wall for trans people.All of them are at least mostly based on reality however. Good grief. Not one credible study on sexuality or gender supports any of these statements. | /r/ExRedPill | 15/09/22 11:07 PM |
| 10 | The wall for trans people.For the most part RP completely ignores that queer people and trans people exist (and are, in fact, people) so the fact that there's a potential contradiction just doesn't even factor in. | /r/ExRedPill | 15/09/22 10:38 PM |
| 8 | The wall for trans people.As a non-RP, even I don't find any of them attractive I sincerely doubt that. In fact, I would bet good money that you've found a trans person attractive at some point -- you might not have known that they were trans. Lots of people stay closeted because of ignorant violent assholes who make the world a dangerous place. | /r/ExRedPill | 15/09/22 10:37 PM |
| 0 | The wall for trans people.Four sentences and not one of them is remotely correct. Good grief. | /r/ExRedPill | 15/09/22 10:29 PM |
| 9 | I don't understand hypergamybecause that's how women date? I have been a woman for all of my adult years on this earth (and I was a girl for 18 years before that), and I can assure you ... it's not. | /r/ExRedPill | 02/09/22 03:44 PM |
| 8 | I don't understand hypergamyThere is a difference between platonic connection and romantic connection. My friends are the most incredible people in the world and they enrich my life immeasurably. But I don't want to have sex with them. They are a wonderful support system, but they are not my partner. | /r/ExRedPill | 02/09/22 03:42 PM |
| 5 | I don't understand hypergamyBecause I am a monogamous person, when I am in a satisfying, happy, healthy relationship I would be unavailable to even the best looking, wealthiest person. It's really that simple. I have a partner, so if someone makes a move on me it's always a "no" because I am not available. Does that mean I don't find other people attractive? No. But there is a massive chasm between finding someone attractive and leaving your partner for them (hence the classic line, "I'm married, not dead"). If a partner l… | /r/ExRedPill | 02/09/22 03:39 PM |
| 3 | I can't tell stories to save my lifeThere is some good advice in these comments as far as working on storytelling goes, but I'd also encourage you to think about building conversational skills beyond storytelling. Few things are more tedious than trying to talk with someone who only wants to swap stories rather than engage in discussion. One thing that sounds great is that you said this: I rely on other people to tell stories so that I can be myself (make jokes, ask follow up questions, etc.) That's awesome! It sounds like you are… | /r/ExRedPill | 02/09/22 03:24 PM |
| 52 | I almost lost my two year long relationship due to red pill theoryLet's be really clear: You didn't torpedo this relationship because of an ideology. You nearly lost this relationship because of your choices. You stumbled upon these ridiculous videos that fed into your most base desires and said "absolutely, yes." Take some responsibility for your decisions and then maybe you'll be worthy of this woman. | /r/ExRedPill | 29/08/22 08:17 PM |
| 2 | How are you meeting people online? What sites/apps are you using?When I found myself single for the first time since 2006, I decided to check out OkCupid because I remembered it from when it was a website with mostly personality quizzes. It is now a full-fledged dating app but what I really like is the number of questions designed to get at your interests, your lifestyle, and what you're hoping your relationship will look like. Not only are you answering the questions for yourself, but you can also indicate how your potential partner would ideally respond to … | /r/ExRedPill | 29/08/22 06:01 PM |
| 3 | How many here actually have degrees in a field of study that pertains to Red Pill (e.g. Psychology, Sociology, etc). If so, what is your expertise in?I have degrees in subjects that are not explicitly RP-related: While my undergraduate courses of study (Latin, Linguistics, English Lit) are not explicitly related to Red Pill, they have endowed me with a strong understanding of Western archetypes, ideals, and values and how they've evolved over the past 2500 years or so. Most of my coursework in linguistics was in the field of sociolinguistics as well, and the jargon of the manosphere (even the label "manosphere" itself) is just fascinating to … | /r/ExRedPill | 26/08/22 03:30 PM |
| 6 | What Do You Think of the phrase "Men love unconditionally; women love conditionally?"I think that phrase is just about as myopic and misogynistic as anything else you hear from the red pill. | /r/ExRedPill | 19/08/22 07:04 PM |
| 1 | Shortcut To Bonding With A Romantic PartnerI've actually done this exercise before! The full set of 36 questions, along with how to actually manage the exercise is here: The 36 Questions that Lead to Love. I would not consider it a "shortcut to bonding with a romantic partner" so much as I would describe it as a series of increasingly intimate (note: never sexual) questions that really help to give you an understanding of who someone is. Fun Story: I first started seeing my partner in late Spring of 2020 -- that's right, prime pandemic s… | /r/ExRedPill | 19/08/22 03:17 PM |
| 1 | My ex girlfriend (untreated BPD woman) made me redpilled.But you DIDN'T ask for advice. You posted an inflammatory one-sentence title with zero explanation and absolutely no evidence that you are willing to take responsibility for the media you choose to consume and internalize and then got defensive when someone said "that ain't it." I'm glad you're trying to take better care of yourself. I recommend checking out the pinned post at the top of the community page (the first aid kit, I believe it's called) -- lots of great resources in there that should… | /r/ExRedPill | 18/08/22 08:31 PM |
| 12 | My ex girlfriend (untreated BPD woman) made me redpilled.I'm sorry you had a terrible experience, but here's some hard truth for you: You redpilled yourself, using her as an excuse. Millions of men and women across the world (myself included!) have been in relationships with people who were toxic, abusive, and/or struggling with untreated or undiagnosed mental illness and do not "become redpilled." Was your ex a contributing factor? Almost certainly. But she did not "make you redpilled." Learning to take personal responsibility is a tremendously power… | /r/ExRedPill | 18/08/22 03:41 PM |
| 3 | Do women truly prefer men with high body counts or who have been with alot of women?Truly, I do not care how many people a potential partner has been with, provided they use safer sex practices and come to me with a clean bill of health. I will note: - Men who brag about their prowess and/or experience are often the laziest lovers you can imagine. - This group tends to have a set list of moves -- most of which are not very good or are decent moves that are poorly executed. - Men in this group are less likely to be tuned into my body language and how much I'm enjoying things. | /r/ExRedPill | 16/08/22 08:14 PM |
| 27 | The red pill is the Bible on how to manage toxic people?Redpill is a Bible on how to BE a toxic person. | /r/ExRedPill | 15/08/22 05:31 PM |
| 6 | Is the notion that another man can steal your gf stupid?Objects and possessions can be stolen. People cannot. | /r/ExRedPill | 12/08/22 10:50 PM |
| 2 | I finally understand what people mean when they talk about romantic "love"I wanted clarification on what "falling in love" means in this context. That sounds a lot like limerance in Fischer's description i.e. "the rush" is basically an addiction/obsession, right? I think lots of people confuse limerence for love. Limerence can last for years but it is ultimately not enough to support a healthy, fruitful, lasting relationship. Limerence be a spark that spurs on a relationship where the people can grow into love, but it often does not. So once the limerence reaches the … | /r/ExRedPill | 30/07/22 12:54 AM |
| 5 | I finally understand what people mean when they talk about romantic "love"Are you saying Helen Fischer is wrong? No. I am saying that your interpretation/understanding is flawed or incomplete at the very least. In the interview you linked to, Fisher talks more about the brain chemistry and biological imperative behind that chemistry. You'll note that Fisher does not use the term "limerence" and instead focuses on terms like "madly in love" and "the rush." This makes sense because she is an anthropologist, not a therapist. Anthropologists are great at describing what p… | /r/ExRedPill | 29/07/22 10:10 PM |
| 9 | I finally understand what people mean when they talk about romantic "love"I conclude that romantic "love" is a fancy term for "obsession about the object of interest. Not really. It seems like you've stumbled upon a lot of resources about limerence, not necessarily long-term love. Limerence is the term most used for that all-consuming, have-to-have-you-now feeling we get when we're "falling in love" with someone. People who we describe as "lovesick" or "in love with love" are actually constantly chasing that excitement that comes with limerence or an intense/passionat… | /r/ExRedPill | 29/07/22 08:37 PM |
| 3 | Can two average looking people be genuinely in love?whom we find attractive varies a lot more than we admit as a society, There's a lot of peer pressure to conform to some conventional standards of what sexy is and isn't, That right there. That's the truth. The second we stop focusing on what we think we're supposed to want or what we think our relationships should look like, we can actually focus on what (and who) feels good to us. | /r/ExRedPill | 27/07/22 07:39 PM |
| 3 | Can two average looking people be genuinely in love?Fun fact: All of the men I have fallen in love with are akward/shy introverted men who are incredibly nerdy. :) SAME :D When I think of the two men I've been the most in love with AND have been most attracted to, they have both been fairly softspoken, definitely not the "alpha" type, and have exceptionally dorky tendencies and interests. | /r/ExRedPill | 27/07/22 07:36 PM |
| 6 | Can two average looking people be genuinely in love?Neither my partner or I are the type to turn heads on a street, but my goodness it is the best sex I've ever had. I look at him and I think he is just about the most attractive person in the world. Seriously, we're more than two years in and I can barely keep my hands off of him. I am completely in love. | /r/ExRedPill | 27/07/22 07:29 PM |
| 7 | Redpill is bad for men. Bluepill is just as bad as redpill. Blackpill is king.This is so over the top bonkers that I am choosing to read it as satire. | /r/ExRedPill | 21/07/22 06:29 PM |
| 1 | Does a man with a high body count impresses you?No -- that would not impress me. I don't particularly care how many partners someone has had before me. The older I get, the older my prospective partners/lovers are, which more or less has a positive correlation with the number of partners they've had. I don't care either way. The only thing that would impact how I feel is if someone were actively trying to brag about their prowess. In my experience, that's a red flag and an indicator that this person is more interested in counting notches than… | /r/ExRedPill | 20/07/22 04:05 PM |
| 6 | How often do women get "girlfriend-zoned"?Honestly, it's only happened to me a few times -- only two incidents come to mind right away (once in high school, once in college) -- but I have always had more friends who are straight girls/women, so I'm sure that's a factor. I also usually have not fallen within a lot of the guidelines for what's considered "conventionally attractive" for girls and women, so that's probably a factor too. | /r/ExRedPill | 15/07/22 08:44 PM |
| 20 | Women In Their 30's Aren't Lowering Their StandardsMy standards are significantly higher at 39 than they were at any point in my 20s. | /r/ExRedPill | 13/07/22 08:09 PM |
| 3 | Since when TRP suddenly became synonymous with Alt-Right fringes?Talia Lavin’s book Culture Warlords does an EXCELLENT job of delving into how alt-right and other white supremacist groups target incels and MGTOW types in particular. | /r/ExRedPill | 12/07/22 03:06 AM |
| 1 | Why do women seem to care so much about height? And how can I get over it?I think the way you can get over this is by reframing the way you think about it. Do some women care about height to the point that they have some sort of dealbreaker threshold? I've never met any personally, but I'm sure there are some out there. Ask yourself this -- are YOU even interested in THEM? | /r/ExRedPill | 01/07/22 03:36 PM |
| 17 | Will the Roe V Wade decision make dating even harder in the future?Explain why women have it worse in dating than men? Buddy, it's explained to you in excruciating detail at least once a week since you started posting in here. Maybe just go read some of your old posts? | /r/ExRedPill | 27/06/22 08:02 PM |
| 10 | Will the Roe V Wade decision make dating even harder in the future?I am 39 years old and child free by choice. I was in a monogamous relationship (which I assumed would last forever) with another woman for most of my 20s and 30s, so I didn't have to think about my personal birth control through any of that. After that relationship ended and I entered the dating world again (I date across the gender spectrum), I looked into sterilization for myself. I could not find one in-network doctor who was willing to perform any procedure for me without recommending that I… | /r/ExRedPill | 27/06/22 07:58 PM |
| 16 | Why should I leave the red pill?Agreed, and I will note that that includes destroying your ability to have a healthy relationship with yourself. | /r/ExRedPill | 05/06/22 03:14 PM |
| 1 | I have trouble accepting a womans sexual pastYour first time with any given person is still a first time, you know? There is ALWAYS some awkwardness -- and that's part of the fun! | /r/ExRedPill | 18/05/22 04:23 PM |
| 7 | I have trouble accepting a womans sexual pastFor the purposes of giving the most relevant response to this question, I'm going to leave out the relationships I've had with other women. Because I have had only a handful of monogamous relationships with men (literally 5), a MASSIVE majority of my male sexual partners have been people I slept with three or fewer times. In my experience, the best sex I've had is not the person who has had the most partners, but the person I have been with the most times. The first few times you have sex with a… | /r/ExRedPill | 17/05/22 08:14 PM |
| 9 | I'm extremely weird, where can I find women who are like me?I talk aloud to myself sometimes when I'm alone too -- sometimes purposefully and sometimes I don't realize I'm doing it. I'm not hearing other voices nor do I think I'm actually talking to someone -- it's just one way my brain likes to work through certain things. I know this is not what you want to hear, but finding new hobbies as a way to meet women is not really an organic way to go about things. Rather, think about the things you already like (sports games and metal detecting are two you me… | /r/ExRedPill | 11/05/22 03:52 PM |
| 12 | How do I view women as individuals and Human beings?One thing that could help is to listen to them. Really listen, even when there is absolutely no social/sexual benefit for you. Two things you can do that are literally free: read books by women on subjects that interest you and follow women on social media who are using their platforms to share their experiences (no need to comment/engage, you can just listen) in all kinds of areas. The more you start to see that (a) there are women who are interested in the same things you are, (b) you can lear… | /r/ExRedPill | 07/05/22 01:35 PM |
| 3 | Kevin Samuels diedI lost a friend who was relatively healthy except for his energy drink habit. One night he had a massive aneurysm while walking to the store -- was braindead even before he hit the ground. 35 years old. That shit is scary and I fully believe a 3 Red Bull a day habit could lead to a major cardiac event. | /r/ExRedPill | 07/05/22 01:44 AM |
| 2 | What do you love about a healthy man?But here’s the thing: that 80% of the time when it’s working? It’s actually not. I also believed that my avoidant behavior was a way of dealing … but it was coping, not dealing (if that makes sense). That box on the shelf (you weren’t by chance raised LDS were you? That’s a popular metaphor they used) is a reasonable strategy for waiting until you’re safe to deal with your stuff. But if you never do? It’s always there, lurking. With my ex, shutting so much stuff off had the net effect of me bein… | /r/ExRedPill | 06/05/22 07:47 PM |
| 2 | What do you love about a healthy man?That's a great question. Honestly, I think it's less that I am inspired to grow as a person, but more that I finally feel safe to work on the things I need to work on. For example, I've always had a really hard time talking about feelings. I come from a family that doesn't talk about feelings or verbally express love/affection and in my previous relationship (13 years, most of which were very toxic and unhappy), any time I tried to set a boundary or express that I was hurt by something, I would … | /r/ExRedPill | 06/05/22 05:09 PM |
| 8 | Kevin Samuels diedHe was not a good person but I am not dumb enough to believe that the world will be a better place without him in it. His toxic legacy will live on. | /r/ExRedPill | 06/05/22 04:13 PM |
| 21 | red pill apparently hates working women who are independent who are not so economically dependent but want a submissive obedient housewife who does not work, takes care of the children and lets them leadThe red pill just hates women, full stop. | /r/ExRedPill | 05/05/22 03:34 AM |
| 6 | What do you love about a healthy man?I'm not totally sure what you mean by "a healthy man" but ... here are the things I love about my boyfriend's healthy approach to being a man: He is able to deal with his shit (primarily by reflecting on his behaviors and thoughts, evaluating where they're coming from and whether they're healthy or damaging), and that means he doesn't take his frustrations and fears out on me. He's able to be open and vulnerable with me. Even when it's hard. He does not have any gendered expectations of me, and … | /r/ExRedPill | 04/05/22 09:28 PM |
| 7 | Hello to all of you ladies. I want to ask you a question, but I want all women who see this to at least give an answer. And be honest, no one has the right to judge you for your choices.My first super serious boyfriend was somewhere around 5’6” (maybe a little shorter? Definitely shorter than I am, at any rate) and I don’t think I’ve ever been so overwhelmingly attracted to someone in my entire life. | /r/ExRedPill | 04/05/22 07:08 PM |
| 2 | Hello to all of you ladies. I want to ask you a question, but I want all women who see this to at least give an answer. And be honest, no one has the right to judge you for your choices.I would and I have. For reference, I am somewhere between 5’7” and 5’8” | /r/ExRedPill | 04/05/22 07:07 PM |
| 3 | Do women have it easier than men?What makes you so sure that these "worser looking" women have as much intimacy as they want? Do you actually know this or are you just assuming? | /r/ExRedPill | 02/05/22 07:41 PM |
| 3 | Do women have it easier than men?Okay, well ... good luck with that, I guess. | /r/ExRedPill | 02/05/22 07:40 PM |
| 2 | Do women have it easier than men?Buy the user above said the risks are so great that it isn't worth it. They didn't. They said it's much more likely for the encounter to come out disadvantageously for women -- which is true, because between the consequences (which they listed) and the pleasure gap, women generally risk more and "benefit" less. They also said that it does make you wonder why women risk it -- not that it isn't worth it. The desire/drive for sex is primordial and often overpowers our analytic skills -- especially … | /r/ExRedPill | 02/05/22 07:39 PM |
| 3 | Do women have it easier than men?You sure an average looking middle class man has it better than an average looking middle class woman? Yes. | /r/ExRedPill | 02/05/22 05:36 PM |
| 4 | Do women have it easier than men?Then why do some women still engage with casual sex. If it's so bad then why do they still do it? Because women get horny too. Because sex is fun and is not inherently shameful and is a basic human want. I've spent 15 out of the past 20 years in monogamous relationships, but during times where I was single, I absolutely pursued casual hookups. Is that to say these encounters were risk-free? Of course not. The only risk-free option is abstinence ... and since I was decidedly not interested in tha… | /r/ExRedPill | 02/05/22 05:34 PM |
| 3 | Do women have it easier than men?Chad and is busy fucking the Beckies and uglies while Tyrone is busy fucking Stacy and Beckies. Mr Average is occasionally getting lucky through betabuxing or he is watching porn rn. That is not how any of this works. Like ... not even a little bit. | /r/ExRedPill | 02/05/22 05:26 PM |
| 2 | Do women have it easier than men?If you can still use terms like "SMV" and talk about people who are in the "top 20%" without even a hint of irony ... you have a lot more work to do. People who do not subscribe to this mindset don't commodify people in this way. You might be starting to notice some cracks in the system (which is great -- keep examining the ways in which all that RP claims to be true doesn't really make that much sense). Honestly, I think you're correct about needing to get your head on right before you try to p… | /r/ExRedPill | 02/05/22 05:22 PM |
| 1 | Women aren't attracted to 'nice'If you believe that you are incapable of finding love, that will impact your ability to do so. People all over the world self-sabotage in love because they think they’re undeserving or incapable or ineligible for love. YES! OP, you've got a real self-fulfilling prophecy going on here. Not one person in this subreddit is arguing that it will be easy and without struggle or setbacks ... but your attitude here is your main problem at this point. You have to be the person who decides he's going to g… | /r/ExRedPill | 15/04/22 10:55 PM |
| 1 | Women aren't attracted to 'nice'Probably ugly and introverted didn't help me much either No - probably not. Your self-defeating attitude probably deserves the brunt of the blame here, though. | /r/ExRedPill | 15/04/22 06:50 PM |
| 15 | Women aren't attracted to 'nice'You should still be nice in general, to all people preferably, but don't expect it to get you noticed by women This. And if the only reason you're being nice is to try to convince someone to [whatever], well ... that's not actually nice. And people can smell it from a mile away. | /r/ExRedPill | 15/04/22 06:43 PM |
| 2 | Women aren't attracted to 'nice'My boyfriend is probably one of the kindest, most gentle people I've ever met. And I am still overwhelmingly attracted to him, 2 years into seeing each other. As for the "nice guys finish last" trope? Yes ... women are put off by "nice guys" who think women owe them sex or flirtation for being decent human beings. We can see when that's what you're doing. I'm not saying that that's what you were doing in high school, of course (though SO MANY boys and men in their teens and twenties do this). Bu… | /r/ExRedPill | 15/04/22 06:34 PM |
| 2 | How does female attraction work, or rather how does a man become attractive?I know you’re fixated on that first sentence, but I encourage you to read the next two. They explain how attraction works, regardless of sex or gender. Did you think I copied the whole paragraph just for decoration? If a single sentence covered my entire point, that’s all I would have copied or written. I would have hoped that the second read some of that would sink in. Or do you just ignore text that doesn’t fit into whatever point you think you’re making? | /r/ExRedPill | 13/04/22 11:49 PM |
| 2 | How does female attraction work, or rather how does a man become attractive?I never said that, pal. I have to get back to work, but read it again: “Female humans are not some foreign species -- attraction works pretty much the same as it does for any human, regardless of sex and/or gender. You see someone and you're either into it or not. That may change/shift as you get to know them better. And, as always, what is attractive to one person is not necessarily what is attractive to the next -- and one person finding you unattractive does not mean that you ARE unattractive… | /r/ExRedPill | 13/04/22 08:54 PM |
| 6 | How does female attraction work, or rather how does a man become attractive?Yes -- heterosexual men are attracted to women, while heterosexual women are attracted to men. You're correct about that. The rest of your comment is just really, simplistically wrong. Men (even if we're only talking about the hetero ones) and women (ditto) are not monoliths -- and things like physical beauty are highly subjective. What is beautiful to one person is not necessarily beautiful to the next. | /r/ExRedPill | 13/04/22 08:36 PM |
| 3 | How does female attraction work, or rather how does a man become attractive?What does any of that have to do with heterosexuality? Attraction is attraction. | /r/ExRedPill | 13/04/22 07:40 PM |
| 5 | How does female attraction work, or rather how does a man become attractive?You believe heterosexuals experience attraction differently than other people? | /r/ExRedPill | 13/04/22 06:41 PM |
| 10 | How does female attraction work, or rather how does a man become attractive?Not as a rule and no more so than men do. | /r/ExRedPill | 13/04/22 06:14 PM |
| 14 | How does female attraction work, or rather how does a man become attractive?Female humans are not some foreign species -- attraction works pretty much the same as it does for any human, regardless of sex and/or gender. You see someone and you're either into it or not. That may change/shift as you get to know them better. And, as always, what is attractive to one person is not necessarily what is attractive to the next -- and one person finding you unattractive does not mean that you ARE unattractive/undesirable. I don't know if it's because I am a queer person who is at… | /r/ExRedPill | 13/04/22 06:07 PM |
| 21 | How does female attraction work, or rather how does a man become attractive?As a rough rule of thumb, women are going to look for the 4 Ps. Protector, provider, partner, parent Okay, now it's true. | /r/ExRedPill | 13/04/22 06:01 PM |
| 4 | Will you succumb to hypergamy if another man is more successful than you?Yes. Mostly. Financially independent, career-driven women are kind of filed away alongside queer and nonbinary people. They are sometimes trotted out as examples of wrong ways to be, but are mostly just ignored because it’s more convenient that way. | /r/ExRedPill | 10/04/22 03:17 PM |
| 2 | this subreddit is an echo chamberThe whole point of sex positivity is that you make decisions about your idea to have sex or not to have sex away from coercion or feelings of self-doubt. So spot-on that I thought it deserved its own callout! | /r/ExRedPill | 07/04/22 04:05 PM |
| 11 | this subreddit is an echo chamberThe problem is to extrapolate to every woman on the planet. This simple sentence cuts to the heart of what so many struggle with, I think When you've been hurt - REALLY hurt - it is basic human nature to want to identify your enemy and take precautions to avoid the same pain in the future. It then becomes entirely too easy for someone who is still reeling to paint half the human population with a really broad brush, or to assume that the toxic and abusive dynamics in one relationship will inevit… | /r/ExRedPill | 06/04/22 06:15 PM |
| 26 | this subreddit is an echo chamberAs someone who is also categorically opposed to the cult of toxic positivity, I have never seen it in here. Most people in this subreddit - from what I've seen - will absolutely agree that life can feel unbearably difficult sometimes, and that some people have it a lot harder than others when it comes to things like building relationships and figuring out where they can thrive. Are there some ideas I'm unwilling to engage with, though? Absolutely. I'm unwilling to engage with people who believe … | /r/ExRedPill | 06/04/22 06:09 PM |
| 3 | Starting to become an incel.This is great advice, once OP is in a more positive headspace! | /r/ExRedPill | 31/03/22 06:12 PM |
| 10 | I like a transgender woman.Life is entirely too short not to go for it when you meet someone and the chemistry is right. If you enjoy spending time together and if you bring out the best in each other, you should absolutely go for it. And yay! As far as your concerns about how to deal with what other people have to say, I do have a few suggestions (I’m assuming that you are both adults and that you do not live with your family: Take your time. Particularly if you’re not sure how your family will react, just WAIT. You don’… | /r/ExRedPill | 17/02/22 03:25 AM |
| 1 | I drove uber last night for few hours..so many couplesLike I said: gross. | /r/ExRedPill | 16/02/22 03:38 PM |
| 15 | I drove uber last night for few hours..so many couplesI'm a lit teacher. You don't need to explain a metaphor to me. In fact, I'm probably more qualified to explain your metaphor to you: The fact that you reach for an object like a car to evaluate what women to have to offer is incredibly telling. You did not reach for a plant, an animal, or anything else living. Instead, you chose an object that is purchasable, ownable, and constantly depreciating in value. You, evidently, need me to explain to you that comparing people to cars is unacceptable, me… | /r/ExRedPill | 15/02/22 11:28 PM |
| 23 | I drove uber last night for few hours..so many couplesI dunno. You want a Ferrari to drive to the office? Or do you want a SUV with good mileage. Nice to look at, maybe take a selfie with... but you wanna get wrapped up in that? This just in: People are not objects and objectifying people is gross. | /r/ExRedPill | 15/02/22 07:53 PM |
| 10 | As a Red-Pilled Guy, I had no Idea it was this Bad, and My StoryAnd just as a side note... you said it "wasn't your brightest moment," believing that the way she treated you was normal. That wasn't lack of smarts on your part, that was a concentrated campaign of manipulation on her part. I'm really sorry you went through that, and I think it shows a ton of strength that you identified it and pulled yourself out. Sometimes the side notes are the most important notes -- you are super spot-on! | /r/ExRedPill | 14/02/22 09:15 PM |
| 27 | I just realized how useless looks areHere's the other thing about looks: EVERYONE is attracted to something different. Is there a serious lack of diversity in terms of what's popularized through various forms of media? Of course there is. Are there certain looks or features that seem to be considered universally attractive? Of course there are. Are those standards rooted ways of thinking long past their expiration date? Absolutely. But when you get down to actual, normal, real life everyday people just trying to get down and find a… | /r/ExRedPill | 04/02/22 04:59 PM |
| 3 | Are women even sexually attracted to men?I am a woman and I am attracted to people across and beyond the gender spectrum. TBH, I find most people attractive at first -- I don't have an actual physical type. I'm MUCH more interested in a person's personality (Are they kind? Smart? Funny? A feminist? If not -- I become less and less interested). I have absolutely no idea what "old okCupid study" you're referencing, but I'm going to guess that it's bogus. As for hitting on people, I don't really do that, regardless of gender. People I'm i… | /r/ExRedPill | 31/01/22 07:47 PM |
| 8 | I became anger fueled over power dynamics today and almost fell back into the Red Pill. I found this site instead, then found this article which I think belongs here.So ... the central thesis is that a toxic ideology is an essential phase in a man's development, provided he eventually moves beyond it? Hard pass. Of course we want people to move past and out of and beyond the red pill if they're already into it, but it's really better for them never to become indoctrinated in the first place. There is nothing GOOD to be gained from RP philosophy that cannot be found elsewhere and the damage from that community and mindset is long-lasting and all-encompassing. | /r/ExRedPill | 28/01/22 03:32 PM |
| 1 | Insecurities of having girlfriend leaving for a Dominant Black Guy.Uhhh....yes they fucking do talk about those things to their friends...where are you from? First, watch your tone. Who do you think you're talking to? Maybe some women discuss phalluses on a regular basis, but in my 20+ years of adult womanhood in the United States, it has come up maybe 3-5 times. It's just not something my friends and I sit around comparing notes on. And "masculine traits?" That is absolutely subject matter for insecure men. | /r/ExRedPill | 11/01/22 03:26 PM |
| 6 | Insecurities of having girlfriend leaving for a Dominant Black Guy.Sure, I thought quora was more trustworthy then that. Perhaps I'm wrong after all. Trust me, Quora is a pit. Reddit can be, too, of course, but this is one of the few communities I've found that actually feels worthwhile. For what it's worth, here are my thoughts about penis size: Honestly, most people with vaginas don't even come to orgasm through PIV alone, so it is not difficult to give someone the best sex of their life with a small penis. In fact, I don't have a penis at all and I have mana… | /r/ExRedPill | 11/01/22 03:11 AM |
| 8 | Insecurities of having girlfriend leaving for a Dominant Black Guy.Whats your opinion of this and other posts just like this on quora? My opinion is that Quora is a cesspool of clickbait and trolls masquerading as a place for questions and sincere answers. It's a great site for people looking to confirm beliefs they already have, not so much for people who want to engage in critical discussion. As for that ridiculous post in particular? Read through the responses. Most of the responses answering in the affirmative are (a) men, (b) women who engage in sub/cuckol… | /r/ExRedPill | 10/01/22 11:44 PM |
| 6 | Insecurities of having girlfriend leaving for a Dominant Black Guy.You learn fast that the sex is usually mediocre or painful. Too true. Whereas when it comes to people who are average or smaller than average? You can have sex a lot more frequently and with significantly less discomfort. | /r/ExRedPill | 10/01/22 11:29 PM |
| 8 | Insecurities of having girlfriend leaving for a Dominant Black Guy.Have you seen the white women who shame themselves and say they have white privilege? That's the type that does this. I am a white woman who knows that I undeniably benefit from white privilege (no shame in that - it is simply how things are in our society). I have never behaved in the way you claim to have seen and heard, nor have any of my friends, many of whom are also white women. | /r/ExRedPill | 10/01/22 11:27 PM |
| 21 | Insecurities of having girlfriend leaving for a Dominant Black Guy.So are you saying they lust over whites more, or that masculine traits and bigger penises elicit more sexual attraction? No one is more obsessed with "masculine traits" and "bigger penises" than insecure men. Seriously. These are not really things that women who are attracted to/date men talk about among themselves. They are much more interested in stability, emotional maturity, and attentiveness. | /r/ExRedPill | 10/01/22 08:38 PM |
| 10 | Insecurities of having girlfriend leaving for a Dominant Black Guy.So, would you say that this is just something that media is kinda pushing It is a pornographic trope, and one which is largely rooted in racism. It is not some kind of social phenomenon. | /r/ExRedPill | 10/01/22 08:37 PM |
| 12 | Insecurities of having girlfriend leaving for a Dominant Black Guy.I think a lot of white women do this, Based on what? By your own admission, you've never even been friends with a woman. | /r/ExRedPill | 10/01/22 08:34 PM |
| 3 | Can Red Pill make society go back to a time like the 1950s or a patriarchy, even go back to gender roles?I think this claim that RP wants a traditional dynamic is bullshit. They just want women to be submissive and powerless without many options- that way women would be more dependent and these self pitying guys would have a better chance if the bulk of women had no power or ability to be self sufficient. Out of necessity, women would again be dependent on men, and these sad RP guys would have a better chance of finding a partner. Agreed, 100%. | /r/ExRedPill | 07/01/22 07:33 PM |
| 3 | Healing the masculine and feminine energy cores within all us.What pill is this one? The woowoo pill. You should know that swallowing it makes you more likely to spend thousands of dollars on crystals and essential oils. | /r/ExRedPill | 04/01/22 03:44 PM |
| 4 | I hate this man. So hypocriticalImagine thinking you have absolutely nothing to offer beyond money or sex in a relationship. Imagine thinking the only benefits to having a relationship are money or sex. Just pathetic. | /r/ExRedPill | 03/01/22 07:57 PM |
| 1 | [deleted by user]It sounds like you have given a lot of thought to what you want for yourself and what you hope for in a future partner, which is great! I agree that it's really important to make sure anyone you try to build a life with shares your core values. Ultimately, I think humans are happiest when they are able to make decisions for themselves, rather thoughtlessly going along with what they're told they should want or allow or tolerate. | /r/ExRedPill | 31/12/21 12:55 AM |
| 1 | [deleted by user]I know a lot of men have no choice. The BY CHOICE part is important. Lots of men who are virgins by choice do not respect women either, most often (though not always) under the guise of religion. This is rooted in viewing women as property to be conquered and "owned" by her future husband rather than viewing sexuality as something special that they only want to share with one other person (or an extremely limited number of people) in a lifetime. | /r/ExRedPill | 30/12/21 11:55 PM |
| 2 | [deleted by user]Men that have slept with a lot of women in the past see women as sex objects, they use women for sex, and they do not respect women. That is not necessarily true. Are there promiscuous men who view women as objects and treat them as disposable? Of course there are. These men are jerks. But they are not necessarily the rule. PLENTY of men who have had lots of sexual partners respect and value women in general and their partners in particular; they just happen to be extremely liberated and free-wh… | /r/ExRedPill | 30/12/21 10:54 PM |
| 4 | [deleted by user]As someone who is attracted to and dates people across the gender spectrum, I truly do not care how many people my partner has been intimate with before me (provided they have taken appropriate precautions for safer sex and are upfront with me about any STI risks). Since I’m pushing 40 myself, it’s been quite some time since I was with someone who was completely sexually inexperienced, but when I think of the men/masc. folks I’ve been with, the less experienced ones were often better lovers sinc… | /r/ExRedPill | 30/12/21 09:11 PM |
| 2 | Comparison is the thief of joy... Now what?Depending on where you live, there are likely more affordable options than traditional clinical counseling. Lots of mental health care clinics offer sliding scales based on your income and other COL expenses. Beyond that, if you're currently on antidepressants, it's important that you talk with your prescriber (presumably a psychiatrist or a neuropsychologist, if not a GP) candidly about the fact that you are finding it difficult to enjoy anything and that you feel a general sense of despair and… | /r/ExRedPill | 28/12/21 08:24 PM |
| 2 | Comparison is the thief of joy... Now what?You're right that comparing our place in the group to other group members enhanced our ancestors survival. That tendency is a mismatch now, but it's still there. So our best strategy is to recognize all this and accept that some of us (me) have to minimize these comparisons This is some A+ advice! We can acknowledge these jealousies, these comparisons as thoughts. And then we can let them go. Sometimes trying to pretend we DON'T have these thoughts can be so much more destructive (because you're… | /r/ExRedPill | 28/12/21 02:56 AM |
| 3 | Comparison is the thief of joy... Now what?If any of this would help my situation I would already be doing it. Would you, though? You really seem to love saying "no" to things that - by your own admission - you haven't even tried. If you're waiting for some perfect, effortless solution to fall out of the sky fully-formed, it's not going to happen. There is no deus ex machina for unlearning decades of toxic thinking and self-pity. You have been given GOOD advice. Solid advice. And you're so convinced that it won't work for you that you wo… | /r/ExRedPill | 28/12/21 02:50 AM |
| 2 | Comparison is the thief of joy... Now what?It is a lot of work and very rarely is it fun. How many things in life are both worthwhile and easy, though? And how can you possibly know if you have the willpower to work with someone until you at least try it? What’s your alternative? To feel badly about yourself forever? Wallow in self-pity until it drowns you? People have suggested lots of options and strategies to you on this post and others, but you reject them all categorically. Are you actually looking for help, support, and advice or a… | /r/ExRedPill | 28/12/21 02:15 AM |
| 1 | Comparison is the thief of joy... Now what?What I'm saying is I don't even know how to enjoy anything. It's like your speaking a different language to me. What you're describing is depression, and from other posts I've seen you either REALLY love throwing an elaborate pity party or you have extremely low self-esteem and self-efficacy. Are you able to seek out counseling? It's not a quick/cheap/easy fix, and you actually have to be open to actively working with a therapist or counselor (as opposed to going but passively expecting just att… | /r/ExRedPill | 28/12/21 12:10 AM |
| 3 | Do you have friends who make fun of you for never having a relationship or being a virgin?Oh, absolutely. It took me well into my adulthood to realize that teasing between friends is very different from being made fun of by people who don't actually respect you. | /r/ExRedPill | 27/12/21 11:44 PM |
| 12 | Do you have friends who make fun of you for never having a relationship or being a virgin?Agreed -- friends do NOT treat each other that way. I'm so glad you were able to recognize that you deserve so much more and that you dropped those zeros. | /r/ExRedPill | 27/12/21 11:06 PM |
| 8 | why do some women like Andrew Tate?I would assume it's for the same reason some women are drawn toward serial killers or other violent criminals. Years ago (seriously, like 15-20 years ago at least) I read an article about women who fall in love with men who are serving hard time (and often life sentences) for seriously violent crimes. As you might expect, lots of these women have extremely low self-esteem or may have experienced enough trauma at the hands of other men or partners that there is something appealing about a man who… | /r/ExRedPill | 16/12/21 05:32 PM |
| 8 | what is it like to have a husband or boyfriend red pill?Redpill stuff didn't quite exist yet when I was 16, but the boy I dated for about 4 months when I was in 10th grade absolutely bought into a lot of ideas about gender that are espoused by RP. It feels like walking on eggshells constantly. You know that every move you make is being scrutinized by someone who assumes you are deceitful, manipulative, and in need of moral guidance. Simultaneously, this is someone who tells you that they love you and care about you, so if you're less sure of yourself… | /r/ExRedPill | 16/12/21 04:50 PM |
| 9 | Women, is the whole "women love dominant alpha males" thing a myth?First, there is no such thing as an alpha male whether among humans or wolves. The scientist who authored the original study on wolves (which creepy dudes who go on and on about alphas and betas love to reference) long ago retracted his paper because he realized it was flawed( here’s why ). Anecdotally, I’ve never met a single person who subscribed to the “women love dominant alpha males” who wasn’t a complete train wreck. Honestly, man who refers to himself as an alpha is like a giant walking r… | /r/ExRedPill | 14/12/21 06:06 AM |
| 1 | I have no optimism that I will ever find a women that I can actually bond with.That's not a simple or easy fix for anyone. Everyone struggles to build meaningful relationships and to feel less alone in the world. I'm not sure why you're so convinced that you're a special case. | /r/ExRedPill | 14/12/21 12:30 AM |
| 2 | I have no optimism that I will ever find a women that I can actually bond with.many others will have a simple fix that is not available to me. Absolutely nothing about developing a lasting, devoted relationship with another person is "simple." Even when that person is the best possible match for you, it can still be incredibly difficult and complex. | /r/ExRedPill | 13/12/21 11:54 PM |
| 33 | My boyfriend is a Red Piller and it’s ruining our relationship.It sounds to me like you already know what you need to do: nope right out of there. | /r/ExRedPill | 06/12/21 10:13 PM |
| 71 | My boyfriend is a Red Piller and it’s ruining our relationship.He doesn’t see what he is doing is wrong. I can't imagine that he ever will if this behavior is allowed to continue. Why are you with someone who disrespects you like this? You absolutely deserve to be with someone who treats you with respect and appreciation for the person that you are. Your partner should not make you uncomfortable. | /r/ExRedPill | 06/12/21 09:12 PM |
| 4 | To create healthy and good alternative spaces to the red pill, one thing we should learn to do is to not invalidate men's experiences. Instead, engage in the toxic conclusions they can draw from it.And I think when someone's hurt or been hurt, there's a tendency to define the "us" and "them" in broad strokes rather than take a breather and find the nuance of each situation. Oh ABSOLUTELY! This is totally our lizard brain at work. When we have been hurt SO deeply (especially when it's happened more than once or from more than one person), it is an instinct to do whatever you can to protect yourself. And sinking into that Us/Them (or even sadder, me/them) mindspace makes us feel so much more… | /r/ExRedPill | 06/12/21 07:38 PM |
| 3 | To create healthy and good alternative spaces to the red pill, one thing we should learn to do is to not invalidate men's experiences. Instead, engage in the toxic conclusions they can draw from it.You should go read a book on human behavioral psychology. I've read several, thanks. While I completed two graduate degrees. Not one respected, credible contemporary psychologist or sociologist would sign off on the things you're arguing here. Here's a tip if you don't want people to see you as advocating for redpill thinking: phrases like "low status male" aren't typically applied to contemporary human interactions outside of RP/BP/MGTOW groups. | /r/ExRedPill | 06/12/21 07:33 PM |
| 3 | To create healthy and good alternative spaces to the red pill, one thing we should learn to do is to not invalidate men's experiences. Instead, engage in the toxic conclusions they can draw from it.Oh, they absolutely do and I don't disagree with what you've said here. I don't fault anyone for struggling a little bit -- particularly people who are undertaking the hard work of unlearning damaging ways of thinking and treating people -- but I'm also not going to let things with the potential to fester or perpetuate sexist thinking sit there unaddressed. That's not helpful to anyone. | /r/ExRedPill | 06/12/21 07:07 PM |
| 8 | To create healthy and good alternative spaces to the red pill, one thing we should learn to do is to not invalidate men's experiences. Instead, engage in the toxic conclusions they can draw from it.Masculinity is not toxic, neither is femininity Masculinity is not inherently toxic, but there is such a thing as toxic masculinity. Of course I'll get downvoted cuz people can't fathom the facts and evidence. That's not why you're getting downvoted, buddy. If you don't want to be accused of spouting red pill jargon, maybe don't swing around RP talking points like "women won't couple with men that are lower status than them." | /r/ExRedPill | 06/12/21 06:00 PM |
| 2 | To create healthy and good alternative spaces to the red pill, one thing we should learn to do is to not invalidate men's experiences. Instead, engage in the toxic conclusions they can draw from it.That's not what they said, though. If that's what was intended, it should have been framed differently, particularly when you're talking to people who have been primed to regard women as fundamentally untrustworthy. | /r/ExRedPill | 06/12/21 05:50 PM |
| 10 | To create healthy and good alternative spaces to the red pill, one thing we should learn to do is to not invalidate men's experiences. Instead, engage in the toxic conclusions they can draw from it.I think you make some really important points about not invalidating peoples' experiences, and I agree that that is something we all need to get better at. With that said, I don't think you're being fully mindful of how pervasive the tendency to extrapolate ideas about an entire gender based on limited experiences with one or two people actually is, particularly with ex-RedPill people, primarily because RP directly says "all women are like this and therefore this is what you should expect from t… | /r/ExRedPill | 06/12/21 05:29 PM |
| 8 | To create healthy and good alternative spaces to the red pill, one thing we should learn to do is to not invalidate men's experiences. Instead, engage in the toxic conclusions they can draw from it.Women who don't resort to petty games or have unrealistic expectations are not the super vocal and visible ones. See, this is where you lose the thread. Do you see how close this is to "Not all women, just most of the ones we can see and hear?" | /r/ExRedPill | 06/12/21 03:43 PM |
| 2 | Are rape apologists too dumb to realize masturbation is always an option for men?Rape is not about sex, though. So I don't know what masturbation has to do with it. | /r/ExRedPill | 03/12/21 09:24 PM |
| 13 | Ladies of /exredpill what makes you want to help men leave the Red Pill?Because I believe that men are better than TRP believes they are. I believe that it is important for their growth that they learn how to listen to women. I also believe that it is NOT a woman's job to provide emotional labor or guidance for men (we have enough work to do when it comes to unlearning our own internalized misogyny), but that this is a space where women have agreed to provide it on their own time and terms. | /r/ExRedPill | 02/12/21 10:59 PM |
| 3 | Boyfriend is red pill and childishYou do realize that you just linked three opinion pieces, right? Do you understand that those aren't the same thing as serious research? I'm asking sincerely: do you? Further, I don't even think you understand the point of the Washington Post editorial. Since it's clear that you are desperately in need of someone to explicate these things for you, I'll break it down: those essays are about women who know that their personal preferences in a romantic partner do not in any way diminish their ident… | /r/ExRedPill | 30/11/21 02:15 AM |
| 7 | Boyfriend is red pill and childishFirst off, I am not yours to call sweetheart. You need help because you have a toxic personality and are wildly out of touch with how healthy, whole human beings build cooperative, collaborative, and fruitful relationships. Your views on gender are simplistic, reductive, and played out. Read the fucking room. | /r/ExRedPill | 29/11/21 09:06 PM |
| 5 | Boyfriend is red pill and childishYou need help. Seriously. | /r/ExRedPill | 29/11/21 06:35 PM |
| 6 | Boyfriend is red pill and childishSome of us are here because we want to help people who have realized they've been sold a false bill of goods. People who are trying to detoxify themselves benefit from hearing from more points of view and the people here who have never been redpilled are offering emotional labor and answers. | /r/ExRedPill | 29/11/21 06:33 PM |
| 5 | Boyfriend is red pill and childishIt is absolutely a power thing, combined with a really fragile sense of masculinity. My partner -- a cis man who is secure in himself and his masculinity -- is incredibly supportive of my professional success. I make slightly more money (honestly, a negligible amount) than he does, and he is not bothered by it one bit. You know why? Because he knows he brings so much more than a paycheck to our relationship. | /r/ExRedPill | 29/11/21 06:31 PM |
| 6 | Boyfriend is red pill and childishYou cannot fix him and it is not your job to fix him. I echo the others encouraging you to end it -- while it is possible that it's just a phase, it could also be the beginning of a really dark and potentially violent journey for him and it will probably not become safer for you to leave in the future. If you really care for this person, I recommend talking to him one more time and being incredibly clear: - You have career goals and as a whole, complex person, you have every right to pursue them… | /r/ExRedPill | 29/11/21 06:27 PM |
| 1 | Staying off all the dating, while healing?I would definitely avoid what I consider "actively dating" (using dating apps, accepting set-ups, asking people out to get to know them better, etc.), but I would also caution you against closing yourself off to genuine connection based on an arbitrary timeline you have in your head. Based on the fact that you posted this, it seems like you already kind of know you shouldn't pursue anything right now. Focus that energy and effort we all put into trying to find a partner (or just trying to get la… | /r/ExRedPill | 29/11/21 12:49 AM |
| 10 | How do you not fall into the trap of believing hypergamy?You can avoid falling into the trap by actually respecting women. Even if she's your gf there's still men out there wishing they could be with her. It kind of makes you a little paranoid like you know she could change her mind any minute because she has so many options. Whether or not you realize this, and I am fairly certain that you did not intend it to be such, this attitude is actually really disrespectful -- it devalues a woman's choice of partner, assuming she's constantly waiting for some… | /r/ExRedPill | 24/11/21 05:47 PM |
| 12 | Women Compete On Looks, Men Compete On MoneyFirst, I would like to encourage you to push beyond this sort of “men are from Mars, women are from Venus” way of looking at people. No gender is a monolith, and while I can see that you’re trying to unlearn some of the stereotypes you’ve learned (both through RP nonsense and Hollywood/celebrity culture), the more you try to unpack things focused on gender in the way that you are, the more trouble you’re going to have. Second, different people are attracted to different things. Using famously ha… | /r/ExRedPill | 20/11/21 05:02 PM |
| 3 | Can women be as desperate as men are ? Why is it men who are perceived as so?Okay, so you don’t get it. Understood. | /r/ExRedPill | 17/11/21 12:14 AM |
| 2 | Can women be as desperate as men are ? Why is it men who are perceived as so?This is completely untrue, an unattractive woman without make-up can easily get plenty of likes and matches. You do realize that "likes and matches" are not like ... the extent of dating or hookup culture, right? | /r/ExRedPill | 16/11/21 12:48 AM |
| 9 | Why did passion wane? A qualitative study of married women's attributions for declines in sexual desireEXACTLY. The longer you are involved with someone, the more important it actually becomes to become intentional about how you spend time together, how you woo them, and how you express affection and love. People across the gender and sexuality spectrums can become extremely complacent in LTRs, particularly after they start living together. | /r/ExRedPill | 12/11/21 05:47 PM |
| 16 | questions from a woman for ex-red pill swallowers"marriage is a trap and only benefits women." "women trap men with marriage and then stop trying" It's been shown again and again and again that both marriage and having children benefit men more than women. In fact, statistically speaking, unmarried and childless women are often among the "happiest" within a population. Meanwhile, married men are often happier and healthier than their unmarried peers. | /r/ExRedPill | 11/11/21 07:52 PM |
| 3 | Mediocre Tutorials and ReviewsI believe in equity in relationships because I respect my partner as an equal and as a whole, complex person. Because I acknowledge, value, and celebrate my partner's humanity, I do not ask any more than to be treated with the same respect, care, and affection that I am able to offer. Intimacy and love cannot be found if you're conforming to (or expecting someone else to conform to) a prescribed role based on gender of all things. I would never expect my partner to be submissive to me, to feel c… | /r/ExRedPill | 04/11/21 02:29 AM |
| -3 | Mediocre Tutorials and ReviewsWhat's wrong with having gendered expectations of someone who is supposed to be a partner? Are you kidding me? | /r/ExRedPill | 03/11/21 09:28 PM |
| 7 | Mediocre Tutorials and ReviewsIt does seem possible then that maybe he's gotten some weird ideas about roles and behaviors as he starts to think about marriage and that's what's going on. I'm glad that you're seeing this BEFORE getting married, though. I saw you mention in another comment that you've got some counseling scheduled and I encourage you to raise your concerns there. I would encourage you not to go through with marrying him until he can get over these ideas, though. I wouldn't count on him changing after he's got… | /r/ExRedPill | 03/11/21 09:24 PM |
| 3 | Mediocre Tutorials and ReviewsDid you have any idea that he would start saying this nonsense? Like ... were there any inklings before he started listening to some of this nonsense? (e.g. describing himself as "traditional" or expressing a general disrespect for women) | /r/ExRedPill | 03/11/21 06:48 PM |
| 2 | What do you think of these comments? (and yes, I know Quora sucks)Dumb opinions in response to a dumb question on Quora -- absolutely no shock there. | /r/ExRedPill | 02/11/21 03:46 PM |
| 8 | What are your thoughts on Karen Straughan?Watered-down and internalized sexism are both still sexism. | /r/ExRedPill | 29/10/21 03:28 PM |
| 3 | Is female hypergamy a net positive or negative for society?I am 38 years old and I provide for myself just fine, thank you. Even when I had a partner who could cover our combined living expenses just fine, I would never surrender my autonomy that way. Gross. | /r/ExRedPill | 27/10/21 11:47 PM |
| 4 | What does cope mean?Whenever I've come across it, it seems to be used in a "life's a shit sandwich, deal with it" sort of sense. I have mostly encountered it from troll types in a context like: Person A: *says something racist/homophobic/sexist/cruel* Person B: "Hey, that's not cool." Person A: "Cope." In my experience, it's generally used to try to shut someone out of a conversation, to avoid taking accountability for hurtful things that are said/done, or to shut down conversation that might lead to actual emotion… | /r/ExRedPill | 27/10/21 11:43 PM |
| 24 | Is female hypergamy a net positive or negative for society?Hypergamy is a heterosexist myth. | /r/ExRedPill | 27/10/21 06:02 PM |
| 11 | Opinion on being in a LTR before your 30‘s?I started dating my former partner when I was 23 (she was 25). We moved in together at 24/26. When I was 36, she broke up with me. I am now 38 and have been seeing someone "new" for about a year and a half. My thoughts: - I would never say it's impossible to meet someone you can build your life with in your early 20's ... but it has to be someone you can grow WITH because neither of you is done cooking. In retrospect, at 23 I was still very much figuring out who I was, and by the time I realized… | /r/ExRedPill | 26/10/21 03:24 PM |
| 1 | Is less really more with attracting women?It'll make her think about you more and wonder why you're different from the pack. No, it won't. If the advice uses the word "pack" in this way, that's a dead giveaway that it's from someone who has bought into some cheesy pseudo social science. | /r/ExRedPill | 25/10/21 06:26 PM |
| 2 | I deserved to be sexless and single for almost a decade. Because I was a rude and disgusting misogynistThis is not intended to be confrontational, but I know it might sound that way: So what are you going to do differently now that you have had this realization? | /r/ExRedPill | 22/10/21 05:02 AM |
| 4 | Do opposites attract on a physical level?and blonde hair is always seen as a downside. Look up anything about womens opinion on blond hair on men, it's almost always negative and darker is better. Actual woman here. My incredible boyfriend has blond hair, blue eyes (and what is often cringily referred to as a "dad bod" -- all I know is that when I hug him, he is soft and warm and I could hold on forever) and I think he's amazing. My previous two partners were women (one a short Latina with a black mohawk, and the other a tall midwester… | /r/ExRedPill | 20/10/21 09:59 PM |
| 2 | Do opposites attract on a physical level?Honestly, I'm attracted to most people. I've been attracted to and dated all kinds of women, men, and people beyond the binary. When I look at my former partners as well as my current partner, there really aren't any common traits that they share. Some fall under what's considered conventionally attractive, and some do not. There are lots of theories into why people are attracted to x, y, or z -- but they are all just that: theories. As with lots of things, it's probably a combination of nature … | /r/ExRedPill | 20/10/21 05:50 PM |
| 6 | Do opposites attract on a physical level?Why does it MATTER why you find something attractive? Attraction either is or it isn't. Pathologizing attraction is ultimately a waste of time and a huge part of why RP types are so profoundly unhappy. The sooner you stop trying to crack the code, the better off you'll be. | /r/ExRedPill | 20/10/21 05:39 PM |
| 2 | How to save a friend who is red pilled and keeps destroying his relationship?If she’s really your friend, too, why would you encourage her to be with someone who treats her badly? And how can he possibly “really love” her if he deliberately disrespects her and views her as a pawn to be manipulated? You don’t play weird mind games with someone you respect and care for. If you want to be a good friend to him, too, you need to be as direct with him to his face as you were about him in this post. His former partner was unkind to him and that was wrong, but it is beyond unfai… | /r/ExRedPill | 14/10/21 01:57 AM |
| 3 | Is FDS a good way to weed out redpillers or other sexist men?While not literally everything in that subreddit is wildly problematic (although most things in there are profoundly stupid, sexist, and worthy of ridicule) , it is the sort of place that attracts sexist people with super wacky ideas about gender roles and I would recommend taking anything you read there with a grain of salt. Or twenty. ETA: I am a queer woman who dated only other women from 21-36 (with one long-term relationship in there from age 23-36). When I became single again, I had some t… | /r/ExRedPill | 08/10/21 09:52 PM |
| 32 | Why is it so difficult for RP/Incels to understand that attractive women like attractive men?And further -- beautiful women are AWARDED to "nice guys" across genres and media formats. It's not just that these are the women men believe they should be able to snag, these are the women that they believe they are OWED for being a decent human being. Of course, normal human beings are able to distinguish differences between television/movies and reality -- we don't live in fantasyland. Someone deep down that redpill rabbit hole, however... | /r/ExRedPill | 03/09/21 08:18 PM |
| 20 | Why do so many redpill channels hate black women?Talia Lavin's book, Culture Warlords, really dives into this phenomenon if anyone is interested in reading a narrative about this. It does seem that white supremacists see Red pill/incel types as ripe candidates for recruitment into their own movements and communities, which makes sense: they perceive themselves as victims and are desperately searching for someone else to blame for their own shortcomings. | /r/ExRedPill | 04/08/21 04:53 PM |
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