~ archived since 2018 ~
~ archived since 2018 ~
| Upvotes | Title | Category | Author | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
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| Upvotes | Comment on | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
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| 6 | How to ask for boyfriend to be more thoughtful while I go through medical school?I know it’s overstated but exercise really helps. As much as I hate to admit it. Eating right (meal prep) and getting good sleep. Simple stuff but genuinely makes a huge difference. My skin care routine is fairly straightforward- wash, moisturiser, vitamin C (day)/ retinal (night) and sunscreen spf 50+ (everyday regardless of season). I don’t like complicating it because I wouldn’t have enough time. | /r/RedPillWomen | 20/07/24 11:50 PM |
| 6 | How can I avoid becoming a low investment backup option?Coffee dates are fine for first dates. They tend to be somewhat short (unless it goes really well), daytime (safe). It’s a good relaxed environment to get to know the person before investing in a 2-3 hour evening with someone (which you might not even like after the first 15 mins). Plus, for me personally evenings/weekends are prime time hours for myself/family/friends. I’d hate to waste it if a dinner date went badly. Dinner dates are great for second dates onwards. | /r/RedPillWomen | 20/07/24 11:11 PM |
| 16 | How to ask for boyfriend to be more thoughtful while I go through medical school?Ah. I find that when I get down from feeling like things are imbalanced in relationships, I take a step back and try my best to really remember the things that they’ve done for me. Sometimes I’m surprised that I’ve ‘forgotten’ things and actually they’ve done more than I think they have. But also, love languages can differ. Advice from a fellow medic- try to focus on your own (physical/emotional) self care rather than expecting anyone else to do that for you. I feel like if you’re putting that o… | /r/RedPillWomen | 20/07/24 10:48 PM |
| 13 | How to ask for boyfriend to be more thoughtful while I go through medical school?You mentioned that your boyfriend brings you groceries and the occasional sweet treat. What else does he do for you? | /r/RedPillWomen | 20/07/24 08:55 PM |
| 38 | How can I avoid becoming a low investment backup option?I’d reply something with “Oof, caffeine at 8pm wouldn’t be too great for me. But if you’re asking for a coffee date, I could do it at xyz. There’s a lovely cafe in town that serves great coffee. x” Then I’d just leave it in his court. If there’s no follow up or another low effort reply then he wasn’t that into you to begin with (Sorry if that sounds harsh). And you can move on. Just for future, “I thought everything was perfect, that I finally met a good guy.” Careful with that line of thinking … | /r/RedPillWomen | 20/07/24 09:40 AM |
| 7 | late cyclesHow long has it been since you were off the nexplanon? In some cases, it takes between 3-6 months for periods to go back ‘normally’. However if you’re wanting to start trying to children, you can already do that now. You can buy ovulation strips to track when you’re ovulating for maximum chance of success. Weight loss also helps improve your periods and subsequent fertility levels, that’s why fertility specialists recommend this to couples that are trying. That said PCOS can be a possible diagno… | /r/RedPillWomen | 13/07/24 11:01 AM |
| 3 | How to politely manage a friend who is a bit of an energy drain when I have a newbornu/aussiedollface2 just wanted to say congrats on the new baby ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ | /r/RedPillWomen | 12/07/24 05:35 PM |
| 13 | Please guide me about how to change my dating life. I wish to marry within two years.I’m a 34F doctor. Just celebrated our one year wedding anniversary. We dated for 1 year before I moved in with him (semi LDR as I was posted further away) and was engaged at 2, married just before our 3rd year. I met him at 29. So maybe I can offer some perspective. I think as women who invest heavily in our careers, ambition is seen as a very attractive quality (that we adapt to ourselves but also in partners). You mentioned this in your post. Other RPW can comment on female hypergamy but other… | /r/RedPillWomen | 18/06/24 08:57 PM |
| 18 | Husband has no hobbies or interests“He works a ton so it’s relaxing for him to not have to think.” I think that’s the key here. It reminds me of my late father in some ways. As a child I remembered standing in a gift shop in Vegas and picking out a big pencil with dollar bill patterns. When my mom asked why I picked that for him, I shrugged my shoulders and said, “because daddy’s hobby is money.” My dad’s ‘hobby’ (or rather his drive and purpose) was being the best provider he could be. And he honed it over many many years that i… | /r/RedPillWomen | 03/02/24 09:26 PM |
| 1 | Birth Control AdviceI did not get on with hormonal birth control because it affected my moods, caused bloating, PMS- symptoms. I’ve been on the copper IUD for almost 10 years and that’s the one that works best for me. Yes, the procedure is uncomfortable but on balance, the long term benefits far outweigh short term discomfort. Side effects are heavier and more painful periods (managed fine with ibuprofen) but mine settled after about 5-6 months. Hormonal contraception works well for some women too. Patients say the… | /r/RedPillWomen | 30/12/23 05:37 PM |
| 4 | Married women, can you please respond to some questions? It would be very helpful to me and other women in my situationWe met on OLD and we just got married this year. Dated for 3 years before tying the knot a week shy of our 3rd year anniversary. We’re both in our early 30s, met each other at 29. I was clear that I believed in marriage and children after marriage. I was also clear that I’m not looking to get married ‘because marriage’ unless I genuinely met someone that I felt I wanted to commit to. I don’t have a particular burning desire for children and would only consider it for the right man. I remember fo… | /r/RedPillWomen | 19/10/23 09:36 PM |
| 15 | should i use him or drop him ?Oftentimes if an offer is too good to be true, it’s because it is. I say this in the nicest way, if you come in thinking that you’re controlling the strings- you’re in for a very painful lesson in the realities of the world. Do you genuinely think that a 20 year old is going to manipulate a much older man 20 years her senior who has political and monetary influence into her frame? Offers like this come with plenty of caveats- everything looks rosy as long as you play along and once you stop, thi… | /r/RedPillWomen | 29/09/23 09:05 PM |
| 4 | How do you quell an adversarial view on men?For those women lucky to have good male role models in their lives it definitely creates a foundation to find a balanced narrative. Otherwise you should seek it out as another commenter has mentioned. I think the adage- “misery loves company” can’t be truer so when you frequent blogs, forums, books that vilify men- you’re left with thinking all is doom and gloom with the opposite sex whilst in reality it’s likely less so. So maybe a social media detox from negative views and an influx of positiv… | /r/RedPillWomen | 14/09/23 02:10 PM |
| 8 | How do I stay feminine in a job that wears scrubsPersonally, I didn’t do any drastic changes to my scrubs to maintain my own professionalism. Albeit in departments that allowed it- it would be tailored/fitted but colours were kept muted/within department policies. The only times I saw bright/patterned scrubs was in paeds so it wouldn’t be appropriate in my speciality. I can’t say that I did my hair in any special way but I keep my hair long, healthy and well maintained. I also liked to have a simple make up routine so I looked fresh and put to… | /r/RedPillWomen | 13/09/23 08:43 AM |
| 3 | Struggling with strong feelings of envy towards a more beautiful girlOne of the most profound verses for me “Lord grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, Courage to change the things I can, And Wisdom to know the difference.” Sometimes we lose track of things when we spend our lives on social media. We’re deluded into thinking that our worth is based solely on being young and beautiful. The truth is in reality, women are valued for being mothers, daughters, partners in life by the people around us who love us. True not everyone will and we sho… | /r/RedPillWomen | 16/08/23 01:19 PM |
| 8 | Struggling with strong feelings of envy towards a more beautiful girlMy mother used to tell me growing up- “No matter how beautiful you are, one day there will be a more beautiful younger girl than you.” She didn’t mean it in a bad way but instead accept that that’s just how life is. And that’s why it’s worthless to base your value solely on your looks because it will pass but substance grows with time. The way you’re feeling is normal but also is unhealthy and it’s important to acknowledge that. Understand that envy is the thief of joy. I believe that is true an… | /r/RedPillWomen | 16/08/23 01:03 PM |
| 5 | How does a husband balance between his parents and his wife?I cannot agree more with this especially the part about being a good wife. Personally as a wife, It is unwise to intentionally cause disharmony and peace in your husband’s life especially with people close to him. If I thought I would’ve been a wedge between him and his family, I would take that as a major incompatibility. | /r/RedPillWomen | 11/08/23 10:23 PM |
| 8 | How does a husband balance between his parents and his wife?I grew up in a traditional close knitted family structure. My father being the eldest son was not only responsible for our/his family but also became the ‘head of the family’ consisting of his mother and younger siblings. It’s a dynamic that was difficult to understand from an outsider’s perspective but essentially for all their family matters- my dad had the final say. My father married someone from a different culture so it caused a lot of rift between his family and my mother. It was mainly b… | /r/RedPillWomen | 11/08/23 10:13 PM |
| 13 | Discussion: "Wife Privileges"People have asked me how things have changed since we got married. I tell them nothing. My husband and I have lived together for a year until he proposed. We got married a week before our 3rd year anniversary. I didn’t magically become something/someone else when we signed the documents to be legally husband and wife. Our lives are largely the same since we already had shared finances, responsibilities which we did after a year of being together. RPW talks about incremental commitment which I th… | /r/RedPillWomen | 26/07/23 02:07 PM |
| 11 | How to make more female friends as someone who gets along better with guy friends?That quote boils down female friendships to its essence. It is about being supportive to one another rather than trying to be the centre of attention. I struggled with female friendships growing up with too many bad experiences to count. I do think it gets easier as you get older when women aren’t so competitive to find mates, are more settled in their careers and themselves (ie less insecure with their looks, bodies, more accepting of themselves and others). I was in an all girls school for muc… | /r/RedPillWomen | 14/07/23 09:37 AM |
| 9 | Am I overreacting that I don't want my husband to go abroad?Continuation- sorry for the long intro but it’s to set base context Circling back to RPW POV- the basis of a lot of the books/RPW advice is viewing our partners as leaders in our relationships. Captain (him) and First Mate (us) dynamic is there with the aim of a more harmonious long term relationship dynamic. This means that seeing him as leader is trusting him in his ability to make decisions and supporting him as he follows through his goals to make these plans a reality. If he sets this as hi… | /r/RedPillWomen | 07/07/23 04:20 PM |
| 11 | Am I overreacting that I don't want my husband to go abroad?I understand where both of you are coming from. On one hand, life is good where you are- why fix something that isn’t broken? On the other, the desire for greener pastures for him and his family. A reflection of his own ability to provide rather than relying on family inheritance. I did something similar and know a lot of other doctors who left their countries to do the same- many driven by supposed financial gain, political stability and other personal circumstances- sometimes it’s just to prov… | /r/RedPillWomen | 07/07/23 03:56 PM |
| – | loyalty until marriage?I think in context to hers is that esp in religious Muslim communities, they tend to marry relatively early ie early commitment due to (lack of) boyfriend-girlfriend dating as it is somewhat frowned upon (pre-marital sex is a huge no-no). However in non religious communities, there isn’t such a large societal pressure to get married. The reason for multi-dating is to prevent a scarcity mindset. I multi-dated for a bit before I met my fiancé. I did state that I wanted marriage someday but was cle… | /r/RedPillWomen | 29/05/23 10:34 AM |
| 1 | Do you use dating apps/do HVM?I don’t think it means anything. There is no way to tell and it’s better to focus on yourself rather than other women around him. This is the only thing you can control anyway. Part of vetting is to see a pattern of his behaviour. Is he consistent with pursuing you? Consistent in his habits of self improvement, relationships with the people around him. Keeping tabs on things like likes just drains your own energy to keep you from focusing on your own betterment as a woman. | /r/RedPillWomen | 24/05/23 08:05 PM |
| 1 | Do you use dating apps/do HVM?You’d have a look through different profiles and swipe right/like the ones that appeal to you. Then if they match with you too, you can start a conversation. Most of the time the men messaged first but I remember for my partner, I technically wrote the first message based on something on his profile. We messaged and scheduled a video call after a few days. Met up for the first time after a few weeks. Though this was during COVID so there were restrictions anyway but it worked out great. On our f… | /r/RedPillWomen | 24/05/23 03:39 PM |
| 4 | Do you use dating apps/do HVM?I did. Met my fiancé on Hinge. We’re getting married in 3 weeks. In more ways that I imagined, he’s been the most amazing man I’ve ever met. An app is just a tool. Just like RPW. They aren’t rules that say if you use apps you’re not HVM/HVW. Without the app, I still had men approach IRL and didn’t have problems dating. I used the app because it was lockdown and I was curious. It surprised me when the men I met would say things like, “it’s been really nice to be able to have an actual conversatio… | /r/RedPillWomen | 24/05/23 09:12 AM |
| 10 | Is this true?Men or women, I don’t think anyone should love someone from day one. That sets you up for a lot of unrealistic expectations and definite disappointments. Being attracted to, liking someone is normal and essential. But love is a process of trust that builds over time by consistently showing up everyday for the other person. Personally, I’d be very concerned if a man told me they loved me from day 1. I’d think they have very poor vetting skills. They don’t even know me as a person so that only mea… | /r/RedPillWomen | 18/05/23 03:15 PM |
| 1 | how to embrace aging and age with grace?Everything in moderation. I don’t believe in going one way or another with crazy exercise and avoiding treats because life is meant to be enjoyed! I had a pain au chocolat yesterday and thoroughly enjoyed it. Main thing is to keep your body moving and nourish it. | /r/RedPillWomen | 04/05/23 10:54 AM |
| 6 | how to embrace aging and age with grace?Someone made a comment when I was in my teens- “The women in your family have great genes.” The truth is, ‘great genes’ costs time, effort and if you can spare it, money. My grandmother still goes shopping in places like Zara, does her nails, hair and often gets mistaken for my mother’s older sister. But she’s had things done- little face lifts in her 40s, skin care, good diet, hair done. She doesn’t look unnatural in any way, she still has wrinkles and other signs of aging. She’s just done it g… | /r/RedPillWomen | 03/05/23 12:52 PM |
| 2 | How long did you and your husband wait before you were engaged?Thank you! x | /r/RedPillWomen | 30/04/23 08:07 AM |
| 17 | How long did you and your husband wait before you were engaged?1 year dating, then moved in together for a year before getting engaged at the end of that. Getting married a week before our third year anniversary. | /r/RedPillWomen | 29/04/23 09:27 PM |
| 14 | Dating tips for female medical students and doctorsPossibly u/aussiedollface2 has her own thoughts of this. This is my 2 cents. Medicine can be both beautiful and sad at the same time. I’ve seen and personally dealt with a lot of raw human emotion professionally which in turn has affected how I process these emotions in my own personal life. The main thing medicine has taught me is that life is fleeting and fragile. Something I took for granted before I started practising as a doctor. I think every doctor has a ‘graveyard’ in their minds of pati… | /r/RedPillWomen | 29/04/23 08:38 AM |
| 8 | Dating tips for female medical students and doctors@u/aussiedollface2 you did it! I remember you told me you wanted to write something for medical students and doctors who come to RPW with some helpful advice! Just wanted to chime in to second this post with agreement. For anyone else reading this- absolutely do have a life outside of medicine. It’s important because otherwise it ends up being your whole personality. Focus on your health and don’t skip the gym. Night shifts are hard on your body and you’ll be thankful in the long run if you have… | /r/RedPillWomen | 29/04/23 08:14 AM |
| 5 | Do men actually care if a woman is smart/professionally successful or not?I also just remembered something which made me laugh but also summarises men in general. Whilst I’m proud of my career, I have reached a point where I’m looking into more work-life balance. COVID has immensely drained me and I’ve switched to working part time as a result. I’ll likely reduce my hours further (which affects my earnings). However my partner is fully supportive and even actively encourages me to focus on my wellbeing. His dream is so that I just work ‘for fun’ which is great. Back t… | /r/RedPillWomen | 28/04/23 07:15 PM |
| 7 | Do men actually care if a woman is smart/professionally successful or not?I guess probably it could be geographical? I’m in Europe. I haven’t really met men who were outwardly intimidated by my job. In fact, the non doctors loved it and worked harder to make a better impression for dates etc. I’m Asian too and back home, my career is a bigger selling point for dates. What I’m trying to say is- the ones who take themselves out of the running because they’re intimidated aren’t worth crying over anyway. I’m afraid I cannot comment objectively on the surgeon bit because I… | /r/RedPillWomen | 28/04/23 01:48 PM |
| 23 | Do men actually care if a woman is smart/professionally successful or not?People tend to end up with people similar to them ie educational background, social class, looks match etc. The ones publicised in media tend to be outliers but the fact is, majority of people do end up with people they have things in common with. I see my partner as highly intelligent (aside from his educational accomplishments), high earning. I myself am educated and similarly high earning. However, in this or my previous relationships, I don’t think I spent my time ‘challenging’ them intellec… | /r/RedPillWomen | 28/04/23 01:15 PM |
| 1 | RP women - what do you look for in a partner?Aside from basic requirements for a long lasting relationship ie good communicator, loyal, loving etc- I was looking for a man who wanted to be the leader in our relationship. Not surprisingly, I’m very attracted to men that have well earning careers who hold leadership positions and is respected by others. Contrary to women outside of RPW circles, I don’t want an equal 50-50 partnership. I want to be respected by the person who loves me but I also want to be protected, taken care of. Despite my… | /r/RedPillWomen | 21/04/23 06:11 PM |
| 3 | How to stop feeling inferior to women in STEM degrees?Muchas gracias! | /r/RedPillWomen | 20/04/23 08:54 PM |
| 10 | How to stop feeling inferior to women in STEM degrees?One thing I remember about my late teens and early 20s was the paralysing fear of future ‘what-ifs’. I made all these plans and contingencies in case things didn’t work out. Finish my medical degree by 25 and thought I’d marry my childhood sweetheart by 25 and have two kids by 27. Life didn’t work out that way. I decided to switch to dentistry, moved to a foreign country to do it, left dentistry, moved back home and did another STEM degree. Then moved to Europe to do my medical degree. I didn’t … | /r/RedPillWomen | 20/04/23 03:45 PM |
| 15 | Can someone kindly assess me unicorn list and tell me if I need to lower my standards?I think there’s been a lot of comments about your list. Looking at your list- they don’t seem too much of an ask, it’s pretty standard for someone to have any long term relationship with. I am going to come off as harsh but I think someone needs to point it out and maybe would be a good opportunity to reflect. However, I am trying to help you see something. Based on my observations you do come off as somewhat caustic (as another commenter has pointed out). The whole “should i lower my standards … | /r/RedPillWomen | 11/04/23 11:13 AM |
| 10 | Advice on dating as a bisexual womanI know this sounds cliche but I tend to let it come up naturally in conversation. Usually if/when the topic of exes come up or sexual turn-ons. But to preface, I’ve never actually lead my dating life with my bisexuality as the forefront but rather as just a part of me so I tend to mention it more casually. If I make it awkward, then it becomes awkward. In my experience, most men aren’t bothered by it. Some men actually would admit it is a fetish but I am clear that I am monogamous so threesomes … | /r/RedPillWomen | 31/03/23 09:26 PM |
| 3 | Goal Is to travel somewhere every month: how to look like a high value woman while travelling and ensuring my own safety?When I travel as a solo female traveler, I dress down. Mainly because I pack light with practical clothes I can mix and match but I avoid wearing things to attract attention. So no flashy jewellery, watches. But my usual jewellery tends to be small and nondescript anyway. Personal preference is I tend to wear looser tops and more fitting trousers. I despise joggers with a passion because I think it makes people look slouchy. I do take care of smaller details though- light/subtle make up, hair an… | /r/RedPillWomen | 20/03/23 09:44 PM |
| 16 | What can the girl, for whom RedPillWomen's advice is not working, do?I’ve read some of your responses to other commenters. I do notice a pattern of self-sabotaging behaviours ie ghosting the person who messaged you on fb, deleting your tinder after colleagues mentioned it at work. It is unfortunate that the person you ghosted responded the way he did but ghosting isn’t the way to treat someone- I have been guilty of this too but I realised it’s better to be honest. The colleague situation is an example of that self sabotaging behaviour. It seems you have taken an… | /r/RedPillWomen | 11/03/23 01:22 PM |
| 34 | What can the girl, for whom RedPillWomen's advice is not working, do?I agree with other posters that something sounds off. I don’t know your personal circumstances but I can share personal observations of other women who struggle to find partners. I have a friend who on paper has all the right feminine qualities- slim, dresses well, cooks, cleans, caring, warm etc. She’s approaching 38 but looking at her, you’d think she’s in her late 20s. When we went to parties, it seemed that men found her attractive and would talk to her. When I first met her, I did wonder wh… | /r/RedPillWomen | 11/03/23 12:12 PM |
| 8 | You see a man out and about as he has a really attractive vibe…. What actions do you take to signify interest or open yourself up to let him know you’d like to be approached?I know others have said before but smile. More specifically, have your body language be open and receptive to give him an opening to speak to you. | /r/RedPillWomen | 01/03/23 08:32 AM |
| 1 | Moving in togetherThank you! | /r/RedPillWomen | 28/02/23 05:19 PM |
| 9 | Moving in togetherMy fiancée and I moved in together for a year before we got engaged a couple of weeks ago. For us it was the right thing to do to see any fundamental lifestyle compatibilities before we decided to get married. One of the first few things we did was decide on our finances. We opened a joint account and calculated our contributions based on our salaries. This would pay our mortgage, bills, dates, groceries, pets and any other shared expenses. Then we decided on our household chores. We both work v… | /r/RedPillWomen | 27/02/23 04:55 PM |
| 2 | Feeling super stressed and moody latelyIt worth examining the cause of the low mood since if it pre-dates you being on birth control. Sure birth control can affect it but by that, your symptoms should’ve improved being off them. That said, I would try to focus on ways to manage it. Try to focus your energy elsewhere like exercise, hobbies. It takes your mind from it and provides additional benefits like endorphins. Distancing yourself from people works to a certain extent but you’d need to learn to self regulate through other means | /r/RedPillWomen | 16/02/23 12:52 PM |
| 5 | The Frustrating Trickle Down of Trying to “Have It All”Have you read about the concept of locus of control? Essentially we can only control our own actions and have very little effect on others beyond that scope of our internal locus. Frustration, resentment, anger, anxiety happens when we feel like we have control over these other/external factors. Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned. - Buddha Similarly to this, although we cannot control the actions of othe… | /r/RedPillWomen | 13/02/23 11:57 AM |
| 4 | Book recommendationsNot so much being a woman per se but I highly recommend this book for building good relationships- The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work by Dr(s) Gottman. I think it really sets the foundation of good relationship habits prior and when in relationships for long lasting happy marriages. | /r/RedPillWomen | 10/02/23 09:16 AM |
| 18 | What are you doing for your man on Valentine’s Day?Taking him to a surprise candlelight orchestra of his favourite composer. | /r/RedPillWomen | 10/02/23 06:32 AM |
| 1 | Is anybody here in intercultural relationships?Like u/SecretFeminine mentioned, each of us speak our native tongue to our child. They’ll naturally learn English anyway because it’s the main language where we live. I’m learning Spanish too so it’s smoother for them to speak to both of us (and they can’t sneak around speaking a different native language to the other parent). | /r/RedPillWomen | 06/02/23 05:24 AM |
| 14 | Is anybody here in intercultural relationships?I’m Asian, my partner is Latin. Despite growing up on literally opposite sides of the globe, we share similar family values and life goals. He makes me more outgoing and I keep him grounded. Although we both grew up conservative, we left our family homes to pursue a life in a different country (where we met), so we’ve adapted ourselves with some more liberal values interwoven with conservative foundations. It works. The main cultural difference we have is how… touchy feely Latin people are compa… | /r/RedPillWomen | 05/02/23 03:51 PM |
| 11 | What do you do to maintain a fun and light spirit when going through a stressful period?My partner and I both work stressful jobs. But we do our best to self-regulate and not depend on one another solely as an emotional crutch. We both have our own de-stress times. He goes off to do his own hobbies while I do mine (for us we do these things on weekday evenings) but our weekends we spend together. It helps us ‘sort out our heads’ and let it out so we don’t bring that into our time with each other. We also like more physical together activities like hiking or the gym. Of course, we d… | /r/RedPillWomen | 05/02/23 11:49 AM |
| 2 | Is sunscreen good or bad?Shiseido is my no#1! It’s really light and has an almost silky powdery finish when it settles on your skin, it’s so lovely. ⭐️⭐️⭐️ Unfortunately I can’t really recommend any online sites because I get it when I go back home to Asia. When I’m back in Europe and if I run out, I use La Roche Posay (from their official site) which is also really good. | /r/RedPillWomen | 03/02/23 03:57 PM |
| 2 | Is sunscreen good or bad?Oh also, don’t forget to apply on your neck! | /r/RedPillWomen | 02/02/23 05:24 PM |
| 7 | Is sunscreen good or bad?I’m a huge proponent of sunscreen. Have been using it since my teens and in my 30s, people often come up to me to compliment the lack of fine lines by friends, strangers and also professional aesthetics/doctors. I’ve been told many times that I look much younger than I am. While there’s an element of genetics (I’m Asian), I do believe that good skin care and sun protection helps a lot in the long term. Factors that influence rates of skin cancer vary in terms of skin type (fairer skin types more… | /r/RedPillWomen | 02/02/23 03:05 PM |
| 5 | I don’t feel like my husband is more manly than meI just had a thought that maybe could be helpful- practicing gratefulness. Oftentimes we hyper focus on the things that we don’t like, we end up with tunnel vision and not see the things that is going well. Maybe making a list of 5 things that he does that you do enjoy and focus on those. Encourage him when he does those things and put aside the things that do annoy you. Over time, the hope is that this inspires him to do more of the good things so you can build and eventually overshadow the neg… | /r/RedPillWomen | 30/01/23 02:19 PM |
| 8 | I don’t feel like my husband is more manly than meHey. Don’t let anyone make you feel like you should put yourself in harm’s way. Whatever it is, you should always aim to take care of your mental health. Sometimes our subconscious is screaming for help to resolve deeper issues- listen to it. From one doctor to another future one- I get where you’re coming from. However in my case, my parents taught me two things- my dad taught me to rely on him while my mother taught me to rely on myself. See my mother taught me life skills very young and alway… | /r/RedPillWomen | 30/01/23 12:51 PM |
| 3 | Moving onWishing you all the best u/pearlsandstilettos! Thank you for all that you’ve done for this sub. You will be missed | /r/RedPillWomen | 13/01/23 03:37 PM |
| 30 | How much longer should I (28.5F) wait for marriage / children with my partner (29M)?This is really difficult and I genuinely empathise as a lot of women feel trapped in this catch-22 situation- wanting to settle down and have a family due to the biological clock ticking vs not wanting to drive a man away by being pushy or worse resorting to ultimatums. Your questions don’t have hard and fast rules either. Other commenters have mentioned reading Surrendered Wife/displaying good long term wife tendencies and I do agree. But being aware that these are long term behavioural pattern… | /r/RedPillWomen | 10/01/23 01:09 PM |
| 1 | Joint bank account?We’re not married yet but have had a joint account pretty early on our relationship in plans for our future. We both work but contribute proportionally to our income into the joint account (his 55%, mine 45%)- this goes into paying the mortgage, bills, joint savings, eating out, investments, holidays. He also allocates a certain amount to my transport bills to balance things out- as I have long commutes daily. Individually we have our own separate bank accounts + own personal savings account. We… | /r/RedPillWomen | 27/12/22 08:38 AM |
| 0 | Am I damaged goods?Thank you. I miss him everyday but genuinely, after I lost him- I’d rather go through 1000000 breakups rather than feel the gut wrenching grief I felt when I lost him. Reading what you wrote about not recognising yourself in the mirror, the feeling that a part of you died with him- that’s grief. It will take time to learn/rediscover yourself again. Alas, it’s been almost 2 years and I’m only starting to recognise myself in the mirror again. All I can say is treasure every moment you have with yo… | /r/RedPillWomen | 21/12/22 11:48 PM |
| 7 | Am I damaged goods?I know this might come off as apathetic but how you’re feeling is completely normal for someone who has experienced their first major heartbreak. It’s normal and it will pass but understand that you’re looking at the relationship with rose-tinted glasses and minimising the true extent of the reason the breakup happened. I believe that no matter how ‘good’ a person is, the person I ultimately end up with should never be a drain to my life force but instead inspire and enrich. I’ve been in passion… | /r/RedPillWomen | 21/12/22 10:43 PM |
| 2 | How can I go about talking to a man I like who goes to a dance class I go to?My partner and I go for weekly salsa then bachata after! It’s a great space to express yourself and because the dance is so close contact like in bachata, really good starting point if you’re interested in a person. If I were you, I’d actually make it a point to go to the Latin parties just to put myself in a less ‘formal’ class setting so make it easy to strike up a conversation. Eg- “Hey, I saw you in x class the other day. How did you find it?” “I really struggle with that move. Can you show … | /r/RedPillWomen | 05/12/22 01:24 PM |
| 4 | Ironic regret of not having a careerI’m sorry this happened to you though one should count your blessings that you found out early enough before marriage papers were signed or children are involved. And with moving forward, there isn’t much stock in dwelling on the past too much. Can’t be changed but you can learn from it! Maybe look at the relationship more closely to see if there were red flags that you didn’t pick up on, what you could’ve changed. Personally, although I knew why my past relationships ended, I always felt analys… | /r/RedPillWomen | 29/11/22 02:33 PM |
| 16 | What are some habits that a 15 y/o girl can form to become a better woman in the future?Skin care don’t worry about long winded 50 step routines, pick one that you can stick with. Be consistent SUNSCREEN (even in winter) Always use moisturiser + sunblock up to your décolletage. Exercise and diet, avoid smoking, get good sleep It’s better to develop these good habits early on rather than struggle with this when you’re older with bad habits. Career/ SAHW I thought I’d elaborate slightly more on this because it’s something I’m quite passionate about in this sub. I think RPW can be man… | /r/RedPillWomen | 24/11/22 01:20 PM |
| 3 | Dating outside of religion, any success?I grew up in a multi religious family (due to generations of inter-religious and interracial marriages). All my romantic relationships have followed this. From personal experience and observation, for a relationship like this to succeed, it rests on mutual respect for each others religious views. Religion aside, you do need commonalities in terms of basic moral principles, core values (ie honesty, trust, openness etc). You both should have the same vision for your futures. One person shouldn’t t… | /r/RedPillWomen | 22/11/22 08:55 AM |
| 2 | Thoughts on invasive cosmetic procedures?My view on Botox and fillers is similar to cars. Probably reductive and simplistic but- essentially a brand new car needs minimal maintenance to run smoothly and look shiny but as time goes by, you’d need yearly servicing/oil/tyre changes to keep the insides running smooth and regular polishing to make the exteriors shine. If you can spend that money on a car, why can’t you invest that time, effort, money on yourself? It’s important for your general health and longevity to exercise, eat well, ge… | /r/RedPillWomen | 17/11/22 06:39 PM |
| 2 | How to live a soft life when you're in stressful job ?Dermatology would be perfect! It’s a great speciality and I really enjoyed it. Great work life balance and huge scope for private work. | /r/RedPillWomen | 28/10/22 08:28 PM |
| 20 | How to live a soft life when you're in stressful job ?Yes. Doctor here. Medical school is incredibly stressful and when I was in hospital (ED during the pandemic), it was peak levels of stress. I barely slept (or just had completely messed up circadian cycle from working through night shifts for weeks on end), barely ate and overall felt subhuman because I was so damn emotionally, physically and mentally exhausted. But the most important thing I learnt was to mentally separate work and home. Don’t get me wrong, it’s hard. At work, I’m managing unwe… | /r/RedPillWomen | 25/10/22 10:10 PM |
| 12 | Ambitious but energetically feminine red-pilled women...I think both qualities can exist harmoniously together. I have a career and still enjoy being feminine. My partner and I have a traditional relationship and we both find balance and happiness in it. In my case I was brought up by parents who were both traditional but also quite forward in their thinking. My dad was (still is) a very strong male figure in my life. My mom was a SAHM but she studied economics and worked as an incredibly successful stockbroker during the early years of their marriag… | /r/RedPillWomen | 22/10/22 09:43 AM |
| 44 | Handling infidelityWhat do you want OP? Might be because I’m on my period and I have a bit of brain fog but it doesn’t seem clear to me reading your post if you’re asking for advice on how to navigate accepting his infidelity issues or ways you can prevent this moving forward, or dealing with issues for yourself personally that this whole ordeal has caused. Do you want to save your marriage or is this the last straw? I think it’ll help with those giving advice (if that’s what you’re seeking or maybe this is just s… | /r/RedPillWomen | 21/10/22 02:18 PM |
| 3 | Is it true that couples who move in before marriage are 33% more likely to divorced?I’m going to approach this from a non-religious POV. Whilst it is true that couples that have strong religious foundations tend to have lower divorce rates, doesn’t mean that secular couples have less fulfilling marriages. There are a myriad of factors that lead to higher rates of divorce. I’ll list down several papers but the common reasons for divorce are: Infidelity Abusive behaviours/personality traits Financial problems Mental and physical health This article talks about reasons for divorce… | /r/RedPillWomen | 19/10/22 11:49 AM |
| 1 | According to surveys, among people over 50 women are less interested in dating and relationships than men but among people under 50 women are as interested in dating and relationships as men. What is the reason behind this difference?I like that word- daddy sitting! It’s cute. I wish you well in your journey but the offer still stands if you feel you need a safe space to share. It’s also doesn’t have an expiry date! Do take care. ☺️ | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/09/22 11:18 AM |
| 1 | According to surveys, among people over 50 women are less interested in dating and relationships than men but among people under 50 women are as interested in dating and relationships as men. What is the reason behind this difference?I’m so sorry for your loss and my deepest condolences to you and your family. My dad was just 2 days short of his 61st birthday when he passed. Best way for me to describe him was stoic when it came to showing his emotions. Never one to say he’s struggling, the first time I saw him cry was at his father’s funeral and when his dear mother passed. It broke my heart to see him so sad. Though one thing about him was that he was never shy telling us how much he loved us. This was because his parents … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/09/22 06:52 PM |
| 16 | I keep destroying my boyfriends clothes - help?!Yes to all this! ALWAYS separate your whites and colours. Check the pockets before putting anything in the wash in case there’s a coloured tissue or handkerchief. My partner sometimes forgets his AirPods in them Also some washing machines have ‘delicate’ settings so if it’s something that doesn’t need hand washing you can use that. I’ve accidentally ruined sweaters because I just lumped clothes in too quickly without individually checking and realised after. So try your best to do a quick check … | /r/RedPillWomen | 25/09/22 02:07 PM |
| 16 | Am I crazy for breaking my engagement and for loving being empowered?Before I comment about the relationships, I just want to get it out there that your career is about you and your own fulfilment but has very little or no bearing to how sexually attractive you are viewed by potential partners. If you’re happy and fulfilled within yourself with purpose (whether it’s from career, children, hobbies, charity) you are likely to be a better partner. This adds to your RMV but again, does little to your SMV. I’m a doctor and although I’m proud of my achievements, I don’… | /r/RedPillWomen | 24/09/22 01:47 PM |
| 2 | Things to talk about with boyfriends mother?I second this. Often when I find myself wondering what to talk about I open with questions about them. Eventually you’ll find some common ground or something you can inject a bit of yourself into. People like to talk about themselves and it helps if there’s someone interested to listen. Plus it’s good to know where she’s coming from and her expectations on things based on her lived experiences. Sometimes you even get little nuggets of info about the things that they like or random facts. Tip: ca… | /r/RedPillWomen | 19/09/22 07:19 PM |
| 13 | Separate diets - managing 2 dinner menusIf you cut out eggs and diary, you’d still have plenty of keto/low carb options Just some examples- Lean meats: - chicken - ground turkey - lamb - beef (I know you said red meat 1-2/week) You can add fats from other sources aside from cheese/diary with foods like avocados, nuts. You’d still have most your leafy greens. Just avoiding your starchy veggies that you can just put separately. You could probably get away with making one main meal that both your daughter and husband can eat (keto/low ca… | /r/RedPillWomen | 10/09/22 01:40 PM |
| 12 | My father has potentially ruined most men for meThis. I agree with this. | /r/RedPillWomen | 11/08/22 11:36 PM |
| 11 | My father has potentially ruined most men for meIt wasn’t anything massive. The biggest expense for my dad was probably my braces/orthodontics which helped a lot because I was incredibly insecure about my smile at that age. The other thing was weight loss. I wasn’t very overweight or anything but I decided I wanted to lose about 20 pounds. I had a personal trainer then and I still do now. I was approached by model scouts when I was walking down the street with friends and eventually signed on with one of them. Similar to the beauty pageant th… | /r/RedPillWomen | 11/08/22 11:12 PM |
| 37 | My father has potentially ruined most men for meSorry for the long post I grew up similar to you with my dad being in my mind the definition of HVM. Rags to riches, extremely ambitious, proud family man, generous to a fault. My mom was scouted to be a beauty queen but decided to pursue her degree in economics, became a stockbroker early in their marriage and gave it up to became a SAHM to raise us (this is relevant to how I modelled myself in my pursuit of being a HVW). They were married for 31 years before my dad passed and he left her every… | /r/RedPillWomen | 11/08/22 09:11 PM |
| 25 | "Whatever it is, we're in it together" - My husband is a rock and I need to tell someone.Your husband sounds like an absolute gem. Treasure him and remember these moments. I had a cancer scare too earlier this year and the whole ordeal terrified me. My partner took time off his work to attend the appointments with me and sat through the whole procedure while I held his hand shaking like a leaf (I had a reaction to the anaesthetic). It’s just one of the many times he’s ‘showed up’ in my life to help support me through difficult times. I’m truly lucky to have him and I love him to the… | /r/RedPillWomen | 09/08/22 09:45 AM |
| 2 | Am I not good enough?Reminds me when I went to a wedding sometime ago. This couple met when the girl was in uni doing her masters, both south Asian. She’s from India and he’s second generation Indian from a western country. Both from the same region of India too I remember her bridesmaids giving a speech in the wedding saying that all the bride wanted was to meet a tall south Asian man. She was 6 foot tall herself too so it was one of the most important things for her. He is about 6’5. Essentially she moved to the U… | /r/RedPillWomen | 12/07/22 06:23 PM |
| 1 | Am I not good enough?I think that most people have covered about adjusting your expectations with height if you choose to live and date in a country where the majority of people tend to be shorter. The only other thing I wanted to add is on the point if you decide to open up your dating pool by dating someone of a different race. Anecdotal evidence based on my own experience. By chance every single relationship I’ve had has been with a person of a different race/nationality. Racism exists everywhere even in your own… | /r/RedPillWomen | 12/07/22 12:08 PM |
| 2 | the dating scene these days is making me feel like I'll never find love and I'm only 21, what can I do ?Hello! I saw this in the morning and thought it would be better to answer when I got home from work. Thank you u/SunshineSundress! I’m chuffed you thought of me You being a doctor later on shouldn’t have bearing on HVM. I’ve never had problems meeting HVM (in fact I would argue a lot of male doctors I’ve met and dated quite liked women who have traditional values). Traditional can range from SAHMs to women with careers who value marriage, family values but still choose to work full/part time. Th… | /r/RedPillWomen | 11/07/22 06:25 PM |
| 24 | How can I reset my life plans after LTR breakupA quote I read from a book recently- ‘People prefer the certainty of misery to the misery of uncertainty’ So well done for having the insight that the relationship was ending and for accepting that you need to move on. The only thing I have to caution is you saying that ‘we were compatible besides for differing life goals’. In relationships, having shared life goals is the basic tenet for a successful relationship. Plenty of women get into relationships with men and hope that their life goals wo… | /r/RedPillWomen | 10/07/22 03:57 PM |
| 14 | Career or Family?I understand. Similar-ish situation, I’m Asian (32F, doctor) and partner is Latin (32M, engineer). All other careers are ‘failures’ and I admit I have the stereotypical relationship that Asian women have with their moms- that constant feeling of needing to please/seek her validation (I know it’s unhealthy). The constant comparison to my cousins (xyz has 2 kids still maintains her weight, look at so-so’s daughter with her promotion). It’s…… pressure. Granted my mom is so much better now because I… | /r/RedPillWomen | 08/07/22 01:03 PM |
| 1 | Did I inadvertently blue pill this situation?I’m happy to hear that it worked out in the end for you! I’m also sorry to hear that your dad was critical of you but I hope that in some way it’s helped you find the root cause of your feelings. I do think that it’s incredibly humble and commendable how remarkably open you’ve been to the suggestions the other commenters have given you. I sincerely wish you the best in your new relationship OP x | /r/RedPillWomen | 07/07/22 07:13 PM |
| 7 | Future Financial Security as a SAHW/SAHMI hear you. Honestly, I think very few people genuinely enjoy work. I think as women, it’s an absolute privilege to have the choice of not working (being a SAHM) or to pursue a career. Men don’t. Oftentimes if they check out, their dependents-wife and kids suffer. So they just have to push through whether they like it or not. Mental health is a huge (often undiscussed issue) with men. This is hugely the reason why men have higher suicide rates. I’m a doctor and I have a love-hate relationship wi… | /r/RedPillWomen | 07/07/22 11:56 AM |
| 2 | Did I inadvertently blue pill this situation?I echo what someone else has commented about criticism, nobody likes it. But I encourage you to step back and re-examine the whole ‘criticism is a big trigger for me’ issue. Is it an underlying insecurity that you’re attaching something more than the actual issue that was criticised in the first place? For example- I had a patient who came in demanding a potentially harmful test for her child (who was fit and well with no symptoms suggesting otherwise). I explained my concerns about exposing a h… | /r/RedPillWomen | 07/07/22 11:28 AM |
| 21 | Future Financial Security as a SAHW/SAHMLife is unpredictable. The only control you have over that is to make the right foundation choices to begin with so you’d have someplace soft(er) to land if you fall. That’s why I think the vetting process for a man is very important. I would argue that choosing who you marry is the most important decision you would ever make because not only will you be tied to this man legally, financially, emotionally, he would also be the father and role model to your children. The right man will also make s… | /r/RedPillWomen | 06/07/22 07:06 PM |
| 5 | According to surveys, among people over 50 women are less interested in dating and relationships than men but among people under 50 women are as interested in dating and relationships as men. What is the reason behind this difference?Thank you | /r/PurplePillDebate | 06/07/22 04:10 PM |
| 13 | According to surveys, among people over 50 women are less interested in dating and relationships than men but among people under 50 women are as interested in dating and relationships as men. What is the reason behind this difference?You know, as heartbroken as I am for the loss of my dad, my mother and I agreed that in a weird strange way it was better that he went before her. It did cross my mind that without my mom, my dad would’ve just withered away sitting in his chair. He wouldn’t have sought help for medical issues until it was too late, he wouldn’t have eaten as well as he should. He would’ve struggled with day-to-day household things that my mom did seamlessly for years (I doubt he even knows where his socks were ke… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 06/07/22 04:04 PM |
| 14 | I am F32, divorced. Live with parents. I recently started an affair with my neighbor M40 widower, single dad. I love the child and am hoping it becomes something, but the dad doesn’t want to marry again. Do you think it would change with time ?What do you really want OP? From my experience, getting into a ‘relationship’ with someone that has established barriers (in this case him being a widower that has explicitly stated he doesn’t want to marry again) and hoping that this can be re-negotiated is a bad, bad idea. Very few happy endings come from this. Your sexual history aside, women often fall into a trap of using sex thinking that can eventually secure commitment from a man. In that time, she develops stronger feelings and becomes … | /r/RedPillWomen | 06/07/22 12:20 PM |
| 70 | According to surveys, among people over 50 women are less interested in dating and relationships than men but among people under 50 women are as interested in dating and relationships as men. What is the reason behind this difference?My mother lost my dad in her 50s. They only had a 4 year age gap, he died unexpectedly young. My brother and I told her separately that we would support her if she met someone new being a youngish widow. But she said that she isn’t interested. She’s spent her life raising kids and being a wife to my dad- she was happy with that. Now she fills her life with projects my dad and her started, family, friends, travelling. She’s leading a rich active life with a great support system and community arou… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 06/07/22 11:50 AM |
| 7 | Using the childlike demeanor to attract men -- do other women see you as competition?To be honest, I don’t see how being ditzy/an airhead would help in any way in attracting a high value man. In fact, it might put a lot of men off (I grew up around a lot of high earning traditional men, my dad being one of them + have dated/am with someone I would consider very high value). There is a subtle difference about having a child-like innocent demeanour (that would illicit a man’s natural protective instinct) rather than well… just being stupid. Most HVM are looking for partners that a… | /r/RedPillWomen | 27/06/22 07:29 PM |
| 18 | How do you shut down questions from people who believe that it’s their way or no way when being a SAHM?I actually do that quite a lot haha. I smile and nod my head then just get on with my original plan anyway. After sometime they realise that I’m not really listening then stop. | /r/RedPillWomen | 24/06/22 07:34 PM |
| 1 | How do you ladies handle conflict with your partner? Display your (justified)anger and frustrations?Yeah haha. I’m an INTJ and my partner is an ENFJ but he’s almost perfectly balanced as an ENTJ. Though I think for us it’s largely due to our jobs with dealing with people/difficult situations on a daily basis. Acknowledging how the other person sees a situation is vital in understanding the crux of the misunderstanding in the first place. That way you can move to find a middle ground so everyone can see big picture and solution. Being aggressive, argumentative really doesn’t help the situation … | /r/RedPillWomen | 24/06/22 07:29 PM |
| 6 | How do you ladies handle conflict with your partner? Display your (justified)anger and frustrations?I have a similar dynamic with my partner. We’ve never had an argument, disagreements yes but never full blown arguments. If something doesn’t look right or we’re upset about something, we just point it out and say why we think it’s upsetting. The other person responds with what they thought of the situation and explain why they did that. Often it’s just two different perspectives and we quickly find that it’s just a misunderstanding. We address that and move on. It’s actually very quick and with… | /r/RedPillWomen | 24/06/22 07:09 PM |
| 5 | keeping a man past a few datesI can’t upvote this enough! In fact, Incremental reciprocation works in every relationship you have- romantic or not (at least for me). You don’t just trust someone completely 10/10 when you first meet them. Not saying you should live within walls but be open/vulnerable enough to build a rapport over time with consistent reinforcing behaviours which you return to an equal degree. Giving someone everything from the get-go is a recipe for disaster. Over time you can determine patterns of behaviour… | /r/RedPillWomen | 22/06/22 03:40 PM |
| 2 | My brother is addicted to cuckold porn after being cheated on. I need advice...I’m sorry about your brother OP. From what you’ve written, his ex gf’s betrayal has really brought up a lot of self image issues within him. It also sounds like he has a support unit (yourself + husband) and plan in place (4x/week therapy). Therapy is an ongoing gradual process and if he’s just started, it’s worth persevering until trust and rapport are established to be able to begin the healing process. He has a lot to work through to regain his confidence but with time and effort, he can begi… | /r/RedPillWomen | 17/06/22 10:27 AM |
| 9 | Lost my virginity to a guy who wont date meWhile I don’t believe in setting hard-set timelines for relationship progression and appreciate the variability of individual circumstance- I do think 8 months of being unsure about someone that you are seeing/spending time with consistently/sleeping with is too long. If you say that this was an issue with his ex too, I see this as more of a ‘him’ problem particular with his decision-making abilities. This could be influenced by various internal and external factors- seeing other women, stressfu… | /r/RedPillWomen | 11/05/22 12:15 PM |
| 2 | To share or not to share, that is the questionWell… the money that goes into the joint account for us has a specific budget of what goes where (ie groceries, petrol, bills, leisure/dates) and we keep tabs if we’re overspending on one category and adjust accordingly. However we are free to do with whatever we choose in our own personal accounts. If I’ve decided to spend it all on shopping for example- well that’s too bad but it doesn’t affect our investments, bills, groceries because that’s pre-set. My partner doesn’t keep tabs on what I do … | /r/RedPillWomen | 07/05/22 01:58 PM |
| 14 | To share or not to share, that is the questionPersonally, that would bother a lot. Not that I need my partner to pay for things but it’s the reflection of principles. It seems quite selfish with the mentality of ‘me vs you’ rather than ‘us’. A relationship is about forming a partnership to achieve a goal together, a team rather than just two individuals doing their own thing. But other people can be happy with that arrangement but it isn’t for me and I was clear with my partner about that from the beginning. My parents have a similar dynami… | /r/RedPillWomen | 07/05/22 01:40 PM |
| 15 | Feminine charms when you don’t do any domestic duties?I use my commute home as a time to destress and get into the right mind frame (it’s an hour without traffic). I love this ‘me time’ because I can listen to audio books, talk to my family, or just sit with my thoughts for a bit. It sets me in the right state to transition from work to home. We have someone who comes in too but I personally prefer to cook and prepare our meals because I like to make his food look pretty. I love making sure he gets healthy delicious meals. He often remarks to his f… | /r/RedPillWomen | 07/05/22 01:20 PM |
| 10 | "Reformed RPWs": Do you feel bad reading all the stories of other women waiting until marriage when you didn't?Not really reformed RPW because I was brought up in a RP heavy culture. Virginity is a prized thing where I grew up but several things in my life have lead me to where I am. I’m not a virgin and I haven’t any regrets for it. I don’t see it as some sacred thing to be ‘given’ to my future husband because my sexuality is my own. Sexual compatibility is very important to me because I’ve experienced a relationship where Sex. Just. Didn’t. Work. Ultimately it ended because the lack of intimacy made me… | /r/RedPillWomen | 05/05/22 02:51 PM |
| 12 | What hopes and dreams do you have for your daughter?It isn’t my place to decide what will or won’t make her happy. As a parent I can guide her but if she chooses a pathway different than what I would’ve, then so be it. The one thing that I would impress upon her (or any of my children) is that actions will have consequences (good or bad) and part of growing up/adulthood is understanding that these choices will yield results that they must take accountability for that. | /r/RedPillWomen | 28/04/22 06:23 PM |
| 1 | Trying to understand / Am I in the right place?Fair. It wasn’t meant to offend but just offering a separate POV for those of us on the other side due to the generalisation I felt was made about female physicians. ☺️ Anyway, hope you have a nice day ahead! | /r/RedPillWomen | 22/04/22 01:08 PM |
| 1 | Trying to understand / Am I in the right place?Well… not all of us are like that. There is no need to shame another women for making different life choices than I did. I’m neither a type A personality and decided that I was going part time so I can have better work/life balance. I’m aware that there are things that SAHM do that I certainly can’t! I get restless being at home and need something completely separate to keep me engaged, that doesn’t necessarily mean a career but for me that is. It makes me happier as a person to achieve things a… | /r/RedPillWomen | 22/04/22 11:17 AM |
| 2 | My boyfriend doesn’t want me to be a doctor! I don’t know if I should stay.I saw this and I thought the same 😅 | /r/RedPillWomen | 22/04/22 06:59 AM |
| 21 | Stumbled upon a little video reminder of what men need in relationshipsThe video has great points and summary for the things that are brought up a lot in RPW. A lot of the questions we’ve been getting about how to bring up difficult conversations, how to show respect. Talks about how men crave respect while women crave love, not behaving like his mother/nagging on him. Reframing your tone and language At one point she states- want him to feel like a man? Act as a woman. Blunt. I like it. Worth a watch. Thank you for sharing this | /r/RedPillWomen | 21/04/22 08:20 AM |
| 1 | how to make sure I don't get consumed by medical school as a woman that has dreams of getting married and settling down ?I think that’s a great idea. At the end of the day, RPW is a toolbox and there are so many ways one can incorporate that into their lives and relationships regardless if one is a doctor, lawyer, engineer or choosing to be a SAHM. | /r/RedPillWomen | 20/04/22 10:16 PM |
| 3 | how to make sure I don't get consumed by medical school as a woman that has dreams of getting married and settling down ?I know. I thought it was just me but we had similar questions on this topic just this week alone! Maybe there’s a viral video somewhere saying that female doctors make undesirable partners 😅 | /r/RedPillWomen | 20/04/22 09:34 PM |
| 2 | how to make sure I don't get consumed by medical school as a woman that has dreams of getting married and settling down ?Yes! I’m a female doctor who is with a non-medic partner. Dating was never an issue for me and oftentimes high quality men loved the fact that I’m a doctor. Empathy is a big thing from us learnt from all the experience we have treating patients in their most vulnerable. He loves mentioning to people that I’m a doctor and introducing me to his circles. Second the better family friendly hours too. | /r/RedPillWomen | 20/04/22 06:18 PM |
| 6 | Feel like I messed up in lifeNo worries! I’m very happy to help other women who are starting out in medicine. We all go through it and it helps speaking to other women who have gone through those hurdles. Medicine is changing with the rise in numbers of female physicians/surgeons. Although most women choose more ‘family friendly’ specialities like Paeds and family medicine, attitudes in different specialties like surgery are changing to accommodate female doctors that take career breaks, maternity leave, less than full time… | /r/RedPillWomen | 17/04/22 04:16 PM |
| 21 | Feel like I messed up in lifeHi OP. 31F doctor here. Maybe I can help. First of all, congrats for getting into med school because that’s an achievement on its own. I’ll start with the obvious downsides: - Medicine is a long journey often stretched longer for women because of time out taken for children. I’m not gonna lie, I worked my ass off during med school and struggled with balancing basic things like food, sleep, work, exercise, relationships (more on this later) during my first couple of years working. Sometimes it is… | /r/RedPillWomen | 17/04/22 12:28 PM |
| 10 | What is one way your partner lets you know he treasures you?He takes care of me and steps up when he needs to do so without me asking. One of the many examples, I had a Gynae procedure done recently to remove some pre-cancerous cells and I was incredibly anxious. He took time off his work (he leads a team for a huge multinational company so is incredibly busy) to take me to my appointment. Sat with me throughout the procedure and when we got home, put me to bed because I was exhausted + in pain. Didn’t realise he moved his meeting with a partner to our h… | /r/RedPillWomen | 16/04/22 02:43 PM |
| 21 | So...a thing that happenedAwww your story is so sweet! My partner is similar in the sense that he works really long hours too and when he comes home, he’s completely exhausted. I love being able to give him small comforts to take away the stress when he walks through the door. Like yesterday, he came home with one of his colleagues but had to continue working close to midnight in prep for a launch project. When he got in, I already prepped his dinner ready and served it to him before he got to working. He turned to his c… | /r/RedPillWomen | 08/04/22 06:34 PM |
| 21 | About Emma WatsonYour post made me sad somehow because I suspect the reality is much less dire than how you might be viewing it now. You won’t be worth nothing. We’re all human and we hold intrinsic value to those we love, nurture, care for, our families and communities. As mothers, wives, daughters. Our roles evolve through time and experience. I believe if we stay stuck on a certain role or idea, we become jaded, cynical and even depressed. Looks aren’t forever, I’d like to think the definition of beauty only … | /r/RedPillWomen | 06/04/22 09:13 AM |
| 3 | What is love?My dad once told me, “I don’t care if you don’t love me. I care that you respect me.” I learnt that for men being respected and admired/appreciated means more than what we as women view as love. For the record, I love my late father more than anyone excluding my mother but to him it was ‘love’ when I showed him the respect and appreciated his efforts. My partner is the same. For me being loved is being protected and cared for. For him it’s my support with his projects and admiration for him supp… | /r/RedPillWomen | 03/04/22 07:08 PM |
| 5 | hitting the wall and settling for mr wrongI understand believe me I do. Our lives parallel in some ways maybe my story can help. It’s honest advice albeit harsh but sometimes in life we need that. If this isn’t what you want to hear then by all means, skip this. For me, I decided a couple of years ago (I’m 31F) that I’d rather not have children at all than have children with the wrong man. I knew that choosing the right leader for my relationship and father for my children would be the most important decision I’d ever make. A weak man h… | /r/RedPillWomen | 03/04/22 06:33 PM |
| 3 | Ten years a RPW, hit the wall with no loving marriage in sight. Trying to figure out why?Wholly agree. No matter how ‘perfect’ you are, there’s always, always room to improve. | /r/RedPillWomen | 29/03/22 10:02 PM |
| 22 | Ten years a RPW, hit the wall with no loving marriage in sight. Trying to figure out why?I genuinely think meeting the right person is pure luck. Oftentimes you can be ‘right’ on paper and in person but things just don’t work out. That’s life. Seems like you have done inventory on yourself and meeting your personal targets. One could take a step back and re-evaluate these goals and see if you’re genuinely meeting them. If not, then work on them- improve your dressing, lose weight, change your hair etc. And if yes, then could probably raise the bar on it and see if that changes the r… | /r/RedPillWomen | 29/03/22 07:07 PM |
| 4 | Needing AdviceI’m sorry this happened to you OP. When one’s partner cheats and betrays that trust, it’s very difficult to get it back. I’ve been in your situation before many years ago and although I thought I could forgive and move on, I couldn’t. I couldn’t forget what he did despite my best efforts. Granted we weren’t married or had any kids or shared responsibilities (this was in uni) but that betrayal started eating away at me daily until I found myself questioning my sanity. All it did was turn me into … | /r/RedPillWomen | 25/03/22 12:27 PM |
| 3 | Stress with pregnancy and the risk of nuclear warI think there’s a fine balance to it but I try to convey these thoughts as sincerely and genuinely as I can, because its for the benefit of the person I’m telling this to at the end of the day. I said it because I care and I don’t want to see them suffer. Part of my job puts me in proximity to people who suffer from illness everyday, and I watch and try to alleviate their pain as best as I can. But oftentimes, I find that despite whatever I can offer medically, sometimes just being human and bei… | /r/RedPillWomen | 28/02/22 03:10 PM |
| 41 | Stress with pregnancy and the risk of nuclear warI’ll tell you what I told my partner last night. Everyday when we awake, all we have to do is turn on the news and it’s always bad. If we sit and worry on something that we have no control of, all we do is cripple ourselves with never ending anxiety for something that we cannot change. Unless your direct actions can affect the outcome of the war, all you do is torture yourself mentally. In your case, a mental breakdown. It’s prudent to be aware of ongoings but to plague yourself with constant de… | /r/RedPillWomen | 28/02/22 10:10 AM |
| 2 | Where to get feminine clothes?You could check out the Spanish brands? I’ve always loved them- Zara, Massimo Dutti are my faves. Their colour palettes are more rich and classic so could consider that if you want something non-pastel. | /r/RedPillWomen | 27/02/22 02:29 PM |
| 2 | Is being in the medical field an obstacle to a healthy love life ?I thought the same! I do think there should be a post about it because it makes me quite sad to see younger women panicking about dating/marriage with a career. I echo the advice about aiming for higher earning and educated men whilst still keeping yourself competitive within the market. | /r/RedPillWomen | 18/02/22 01:54 PM |
| 3 | Is being in the medical field an obstacle to a healthy love life ?It’s not. Don’t worry too much about it! In my experience it only becomes a problem when women make their careers their identity in a relationship by treating their partner like how they would a work colleague often disrespecting the other person with needless displays of aggression. Or making it seem like they’re better because of their career. | /r/RedPillWomen | 17/02/22 05:12 PM |
| 24 | Is being in the medical field an obstacle to a healthy love life ?Female doctor here. It always makes me cringe a little inside when I see comments like ‘no HVM would date a high earning woman (insert career here)’. That’s not true As someone mentioned, you’d be in a pool of likely HVM ie other doctors due to work-life interactions as a student and later on as a doctor yourself. Most HVMs I’ve met have a certain standard of how they choose partners. Usually people marry within the same educational, social background and it’s not a myth that doctors tend to mar… | /r/RedPillWomen | 17/02/22 04:52 PM |
| 1 | Advice on timeline for relationship progressionThat too. But also, it’s so important to vet him as a man you want to marry/spend your life with who would be the potential father of your children. I often find women who are so concerned about timelines almost forget about the quality of the man itself and end up regretting their decision later on. They get so caught up with wanting that ring, wedding, kids, white picket fence that they miss out on the one vital thing- the person you’re going to do it with. It took me years to come to a realis… | /r/RedPillWomen | 17/02/22 12:25 PM |
| 4 | Advice on timeline for relationship progressionI think you should note this OP. I understand where you are coming from and your fears about being the forever girlfriend. However, I think there’s a fine balance to be had with taking advice from an internet stranger in a place that can be an echo chamber for your fears consequently nuking your entire relationship in the process. From reading your post, it sounds that like it or not, your partner has some amount of baggage with his divorce. Understandably he is hesitant with jumping straight in… | /r/RedPillWomen | 16/02/22 10:51 AM |
| 12 | Should I Stay Or Should I Go?Second this! Sometimes (oftentimes), women have this idea that they want the family, kids (based on a timeline) and decide to settle for a man because she thinks he can fit into that picture regardless if he is right for the picture. This leads to a lot of resentment from all parties involved later down the line. Please don’t do that to yourself (and him + your future family). | /r/RedPillWomen | 24/01/22 10:43 PM |
| 7 | Gratitude: What are you thankful for?I’m grateful for my partner for being so supportive in getting us through the self isolation period due to getting COVID whilst traveling to see family over the Christmas holidays. I was unable to communicate with local authorities as I didn’t speak the language but he sorted everything out for us (his native language) and made me feel safe + taken care of throughout. I’m grateful that I’ve managed to get a new job closer to him starting next month (after trying for almost a year) and am moving … | /r/RedPillWomen | 13/01/22 09:05 PM |
| 11 | [deleted by user]31F doctor here. Sorry for the long post. First of all, congrats for getting accepted into medical school! It’s so competitive to get into medicine so well done and you should be so proud of yourself for making it through the first stage. Next- I think that one can say education doesn’t matter when attracting a man until it does. While no man is going to look at your medical degree and think, “Damn that’s sexy!”, the right HVM would look at you as a whole package including the qualities that all… | /r/RedPillWomen | 13/01/22 06:54 PM |
| 1 | How to communicate with other womenI used to have this problem when I was younger but I learnt my way around it as I got older. Mostly because I learnt through my job how to communicate better and to put people at ease. It really helps when people naturally open up instead of me trying to pry out information like teeth. Similar to you I’ve always enjoyed deeper conversations more hence why I prefer smaller group settings. Large parties wear me down very quickly but things I’ve learnt with small talk is: ask open questions about t… | /r/RedPillWomen | 16/12/21 12:23 AM |
| 6 | Subtle signs a man isn't HVMI agree with the bit that some men who are overly attached to their families would be a red flag. It became a problem because I felt that he didn’t have his own mind about his own personal wants for fear of upsetting them. It was a reflection to me that he lacked personal leadership skills. Also this happened within the first year of our relationship and he constantly wanted us to be with his friends and family. While I think it’s important to have good personal relationships and often saw it as… | /r/RedPillWives | 14/12/21 07:46 PM |
| 1 | Subtle signs a man isn't HVMAlso, out of topic but I love your username! It’s so cute! TwincessMaker I keep on telling my partner how much I’d love for us to have twins (or at least siblings not too far apart) so they’d be close growing up. | /r/RedPillWives | 14/12/21 07:35 PM |
| 7 | Subtle signs a man isn't HVMI think the reason why people have pointed it out is because the statement was a generalisation ie ‘no HVM would be into anime’. It’s anecdotal. It’s like me saying ‘no HVW would be into coffee.’ An object, interest/hobby isn’t the same as personal qualities ie loyalty, honesty, self discipline. As someone else has said, the issue is with moderation. If someone is obsessive over anything it becomes detrimental even seemingly ‘good’ things like work, exercise, clean eating. So maybe a slight reph… | /r/RedPillWives | 14/12/21 07:02 PM |
| 3 | Gratitude: What are you thankful for?I am grateful for my partner who was so sweet this weekend. I’d been on-call throughout 4 nights this week and woke up late for a conference on Saturday morning (thankfully via zoom). I rushed to get ready while he made my breakfast and coffee without me realising. He also made us lunch. We also drove over an hour to get my favourite hot chocolate in a Christmas market because he wanted me to keep my little yearly ritual of going to this particular stall every year since I was a medical student.… | /r/RedPillWomen | 14/12/21 03:38 PM |
| 35 | Seeking advice on how to handle arguments with boyfriend.This OP. Feminine, agreeable does not mean doormat. I agree with @KombuchaEnema. Him looking at pictures of your friends and making those comments is definitely out of line. It’s inappropriate and is disrespectful to you as his partner. Also OP, I apologise that I may be overstepping but your post made me feel a mixture of both anger and sadness. It seems to me that you’re unaware of normal boundaries ie thinking it’s normal that he looks and makes suggestive comments about other women and only … | /r/RedPillWomen | 14/12/21 03:19 PM |
| 5 | Boyfriend told me he doesnt want to get married?Personally I wouldn’t want to marry someone who feels like he’s doing me a favour by being married to me. It’s deeply insulting. I understand how you feel OP but after a couple of relationships, I realised that it was a hard line for me that marriage is important and I value it as a foundation to building a stable family unit. It wasn’t something I was willing to compromise, even if I ended up childless as a result as I refuse to even consider bearing a man’s child without that commitment to our… | /r/RedPillWomen | 13/12/21 08:35 PM |
| 2 | Feeling shameThe fact that you had that moment of reflection and taking active steps to amend it, it’s such a positive thing OP! Well done for that. Im moving in together with my partner this January so I’m both dreading and looking forward to the packing so I can do a nice deep spring clean and inventory of items to be disposed, donated and kept in easily searchable/unpacking categories. I love fresh starts. | /r/RedPillWives | 06/12/21 03:04 PM |
| 7 | What are some "feminine" careers?Second this! It shouldn’t be off putting specially if you still maintain being feminine. I have friends that are female engineers that are doing great in what they do + so feminine doing it. In fact, my partner’s direct boss is a woman and she’s amazing. | /r/RedPillWomen | 17/11/21 05:47 AM |
| 2 | How should a feminine girlfriend act?No worries! Good luck OP x | /r/RedPillWives | 16/11/21 11:55 AM |
| 1 | I'm learning how to let myself want things from him, but now I don't know where to stop...So the next question is- are you asking for more attention than he can feasibly give in his spare time? Is it from boredom? Or is it from genuine lack of quality spent with the other person? Also, if someone is too busy to spend time with a person it brings to mind how far are they in their list of priorities. Sure, you might not have oodles of spare time but one should make the effort to spend quality time with those they care about. My partner and I both have very busy jobs and lifestyles (eng… | /r/RedPillWomen | 10/11/21 05:16 PM |
| 6 | I'm learning how to let myself want things from him, but now I don't know where to stop...But how is it a burden to get a birthday gift? Or to have attention from your SO? Minimising burden is good but not at the expense of yourself. You have needs, wants and desires because you’re a human being. Exercising self control is not the same as self-erasure. Self-control should equate to self-care and love. Maybe take a step back and think about what it defined as necessary and not. For you. I think it’s important that you understand yourself before letting someone into the equation so you… | /r/RedPillWomen | 10/11/21 04:33 PM |
| 10 | I'm learning how to let myself want things from him, but now I don't know where to stop...While maybe asking for food just for the sake of it might be unnecessary but I don’t see anything wrong with wanting something for your birthday. Most men appreciate it if you give them an idea of what kind of gifts you’d like. I somehow get the impression that you’re either very young and/or yet to develop your self esteem. Being low maintenance doesn’t mean not asking for anything at all and denying yourself basic joys/wants. What does self-denying in a good way mean? | /r/RedPillWomen | 10/11/21 03:42 PM |
| 17 | How should a feminine girlfriend act?I’ve always remembered what the men in my life have said, “With you, it’s like being in air- light, refreshing. After a long day where it feels like I’m fighting hard battles, I come home to peace. You bring me joy with softness, tenderness to nourish me with strength to go out to fight another day.” For me, femininity is softness, vulnerability, tenderness. That said, these qualities don’t equate to weakness, docile behaviour akin to being a doormat. You should/must still be dependable, reliabl… | /r/RedPillWives | 10/11/21 02:29 PM |
| 13 | Jealous and guilt-ridden. Please help.I second this. Doctor here currently in OBGYN, we see plenty of women in their late 30s having children. In fact, in some parts of the U.K (usually the affluent areas) the average age for first time mothers has gone up to 35-37. | /r/RedPillWomen | 24/10/21 06:16 PM |
| 60 | Ladies. Advice needed! In a relationship but can't get a HMV out of my mind.Hmmm… can I be honest? It sounds like you dated your current partner for validation/seeking love since you’ve mentioned absentee parents and listening to you describe yourself, linked to your poor self-esteem/image of yourself. Now this other guy comes along giving you a little bit of attention, you’re starting to see ‘flaws’ with your partner as you’re comparing between the two. It really isn’t a question if there’s something wrong with your partner or if the other guy is better. It’s honestly … | /r/RedPillWomen | 21/10/21 05:08 AM |
| 2 | How do you break up with someone?If you’ve made up your mind in ending things, I would suggest you do it a phone call in this case. Personally, I’d only text if I’ve only been on 1-3 dates with a person but if you’ve been with someone for 4 months, I’d think a phone call is the right thing unless of course you’re worried about verbal abuse etc. | /r/RedPillWomen | 11/10/21 12:38 AM |
| 10 | Back to Basics September: Love and Respect (For Women Only)This is my favourite post so far. Thank you for this. I believe that respect is fundamental for any relationship but as you said here, don’t ignore the problems. Respecting your partner doesn’t mean being a doormat to him. I’ve learnt from my father that respect is something men hold very close to them. He always said that he didn’t care if we hated him when he put his foot down on important matters when we were growing up, as long as we respected him. Now I see why he did what he did and I have… | /r/RedPillWomen | 16/09/21 08:31 PM |
| 26 | Being a high professional and keeping the femininityDoctor here. Heavily depends on your speciality. I don’t know where you’re based but in the U.K., we choose a specialisation after 2 years of housemanship/foundational training. A lot of female doctors opt for more ‘family friendly’ specialities like general practice which allows for more flexible schedules, no on calls during unsociable hours. If I’m being honest, it is very hard to always be on top of things at home when you spend at least 12-13 hours at work. So your time management skills ne… | /r/RedPillWomen | 16/09/21 01:47 PM |
| 2 | Healthy eating and portions when cooking for a manWell my partner gyms 4-6x/week. When he’s bulking it could easily be more than 4500 calories to build muscle. So he needs to resort to specific protein shakes to help him make those calories because otherwise I’ll be spending all my time in the kitchen and him at the table just eating away haha Also your username is super cute! | /r/RedPillWomen | 27/08/21 02:22 PM |
| 6 | Healthy eating and portions when cooking for a manAs someone mentioned about portion sizes. If he works out a lot he should know his maintenance calories. For context I’m 5’5 and my partner is 6’2. He takes about 3600 calories a day which is more than double of what I need. So I tend to take 1/3rd of what I put on his. Plenty of maintenance calorie calculators online that can tell you how much based on height, weight, exercise intensity/week to give you a gauge on how much food he’d need. From there you can work out his macros too depending on … | /r/RedPillWomen | 26/08/21 09:30 PM |
| 3 | Im so nervous.I have a copper IUD. One removed and reinserted. My first experience putting it in was terrible so I was incredibly anxious taking it out. I was shaking like a leaf on the bed. So I can feel where you’re coming from! Good news is that the removal was so quick and painless. I was so surprised. They’d ask you to cough and they take it out. I didn’t feel it at all. Hopefully yours would go just as smoothly! | /r/RedPillWomen | 26/08/21 09:03 PM |
| 5 | Who should say I love you first?I’ve always waited until he says it first. Mostly because to me if he’s leading the relationship, the onus is on him to push it forward. I use it as a gauge of his commitment to us so I can respond accordingly. But everyone is different and if you’re comfortable with saying it first, go for it! | /r/RedPillWives | 24/08/21 07:56 PM |
| 2 | How did you learn to trust yourself?So happy you found it useful! Best of luck OP x | /r/RedPillWomen | 23/08/21 11:27 PM |
| 2 | How did you learn to trust yourself?First off, congrats on your top marks for uni, OP! I don’t think there’s a right or wrong answer here. For context, I’ve spent many years finishing up my undergrad before going for my medical degree even a short stint in dental school prior to medicine. In essence, lots and lots of competitive studying. But being at home making a nice meal for my partner, beautifying our home, nurturing the living things in the house make me genuinely happy. That said, my career makes me happy too but in differe… | /r/RedPillWomen | 23/08/21 04:48 PM |
| 14 | Analyzing the fallacy “I won’t settle for less than I deserve”‘Having good self-esteem is believing that you can get what you want without anyone having to owe it to you’ I can’t agree more with that sentence. To me part of having good self esteem is the ability to be objective with your shortcomings not in a harmful self-destructive way but instead in a way that lets you reflect to improve on. The ability to evolve is a marker of resilience and healthy self belief. And your second point about looking after your loved one without thinking is a disservice t… | /r/RedPillWomen | 23/08/21 04:20 PM |
| 6 | What kind of relationship should I pursue?I apologise if I sound harsh but I genuinely mean mean this to be as constructive possible to help you see light in your tunnel. Reading your post, the one thing that struck me is your self-esteem (or the lack of it). Saying that ‘your future is bleak, that your value as a partner is going to exponentially decrease from now on, irreversibly broken because a man dumped you’ screams to me that you need a lot of internal work to be done to improve how you see and value yourself. The problem with ha… | /r/RedPillWomen | 23/08/21 10:37 AM |
| 28 | I don't know where else to get adviceOP, I hope you read this. Don’t be a martyr. From your post, it hurt just to read it. I’ve been in a similar position with an ex a couple of years ago. He checked my phone when I was sleeping after 9 months of being together and found out that I dated someone else briefly (but did not sleep with) before we became official. Although he did the same too but he kept on bringing up the fact that I did. No matter what I did it was never good enough. He made me feel like I had to constantly ask for hi… | /r/RedPillWomen | 10/08/21 10:12 AM |
| 30 | Would you share him?No. Then he wouldn’t be the man I thought he was ie not high value. | /r/RedPillWives | 03/08/21 08:11 PM |
| 2 | Those in a dual-engineer relationship, how did you modify RP ideas to fit your situation?I’m a doctor and my partner is an engineer. He is clearly the leader in our relationship and I’m very happy with letting him do so. I trust him to make the decisions that benefits the both of us. That said, I still give my opinions and let him bounce his ideas off me so we can explore all our options together before making a decision. It doesn’t take away anything at all from my femininity. Good leadership isn’t about doing things solo, it’s about working together based on each other’s particula… | /r/RedPillWomen | 28/07/21 11:35 AM |
| 4 | Help! How do I make a decision?My mother used to say, “when a man wants you, he’ll get you the moon if you ask for it.” Ultimately none of us can help you decide because we can’t see all the cards on the table. You’d need to know what things are important to you as the very basic baseline ‘entry criteria’. I was in a similar position as you just before I met my SO and I vetted ruthlessly to narrow it down to 6 HVMs (doctor, engineer, pilot basically men with great job prospects). But ultimately, my partner made the decision f… | /r/RedPillWomen | 26/07/21 06:27 PM |
| 1 | My relationship came to an endI see my partner as a HVM. Yes they do exist. Though I kissed a lot of frogs before I met him. However I learnt more about myself and about people with every relationship which for me personally was important in being able to recognise these qualities that I value in a high value person. I’m glad that none of my relationships in my 20s worked out (for context 31F), not that they were all bad, just incompatible. My partner is with me without any compromise to myself or my femininity. In fact, he … | /r/RedPillWomen | 26/07/21 12:12 PM |
| 2 | Please help. I need to face some issues and I need your help to hang on to my composure.Sorry just to tag on this post. I’m so sorry to hear about your husbands stroke. It seems like everything seems to be at hanging by a thread and I can sense your anxiety through your post. Previous poster made good comments about taking care of yourself but maybe I can help with some advice with your in laws. Are you in the U.K.? Because you can contact social services for support with assessment for carers if they’re needing more help at home. That way they can have carers come in 1-4x per day … | /r/RedPillWives | 01/07/21 10:35 AM |
| 32 | Having Career/Degree is Important to MenFrom personal experience- men don’t care about a woman’s career however not in the way it’s portrayed in a lot of discussions in this sub. Someone mentioned that male doctors marry bimbos. No. They don’t. None of the men I know in my circles (female doctor here) marry women without at least a degree. There was a survey that showed that most doctors tend to end up with other doctors or another HCW. The ones that don’t, tend to marry someone from similar educational levels ie lawyers, engineers. O… | /r/RedPillWomen | 25/06/21 08:37 AM |
| 3 | How to make him want you without looking thirsty for him?It’s hard I know. But the only thing is, do your best to try not to project onto him. Have you been talking for long to him prior to meeting up? Oftentimes we get so excited that we think that this person has so-and-so qualities but things may not match up in reality. On paper someone can look so good but we let our judgement get clouded when we’re excited. My mom always said- don’t lose your head. Still vet him as a HVM because it’s so important for any LTR. Still keep your standards before com… | /r/RedPillWomen | 22/06/21 03:14 PM |
| 6 | How to make him want you without looking thirsty for him?Awww like someone else commented- I feel your butterflies! Like others have said too, there isn’t much else to do aside than wait for him to initiate contact, the ball is in his court. That said, please don’t torture yourself waiting around. Continue living your life. I know it’s easier said than done but really it helps to take away pressure from the whole thing. Let him pursue things further and be gentle and sweet about things when he does. If he doesn’t, don’t beat yourself up too much about… | /r/RedPillWomen | 22/06/21 11:55 AM |
| 4 | He is a super successful high flyer and I’m a teacher…Happy to share good stories x Also, if he’s going to be overseas you can look forward to exploring places and build wonderful memories together when you’re together. It’s a great opportunity! | /r/RedPillWomen | 20/06/21 08:53 AM |
| 41 | He is a super successful high flyer and I’m a teacher…First of all- congrats on your new relationship! He sounds lovely, treats you well and you sound very happy. Career doesn’t matter too much to men. A lot of men are looking for a woman who is feminine, sweet, loving- good mother, partner. Though some men like high powered women too- men aren’t a hive mind. But from my experience, a lot of men don’t put too much stake at a woman’s career to be ‘equal’ to him. Also, don’t underestimate how valuable being a supportive partner is. My SO really appre… | /r/RedPillWomen | 20/06/21 08:30 AM |
| 7 | I feel like I do not emit that “feminine energy” that men are attracted to. Will I have trouble finding a partner?INTJ here. I’m not really sure how true it is that NTJs are naturally more masculine. INTJs tend to be quite reserved with their own set of ideas, interests. Quite happy being alone. That said, none of these are exclusively masculine traits. I’ve always been very feminine in how I carry myself and dress despite my quiet reserved nature. I’m not shy with how I speak and present myself (and as you said, you too- very INTJ). It’s a quiet confidence and that’s very attractive to the right person. I’… | /r/RedPillWomen | 08/06/21 11:18 AM |
| 3 | Lifting Weights For WomenOh that’s a shame! I really liked blogilates but kayla itsines is good too! She does lots of HIIT and has weights home workouts on her app Sweat. Brittany Perilee does post partum workouts for core strengthening too | /r/RedPillWives | 31/05/21 07:18 PM |
| 4 | Lifting Weights For WomenCould you go with your husband to the gym or sign up together? My partner and I go together though workout separately but it’s a good time to bond with the routine. I personally prefer heavier weights ie bars + weights for deadlifts, squats because I find it more satisfying when I can physically see the increase in weights. But if you’re planning to workout at home, body weight is really good too (it’s actually harder than it looks) | /r/RedPillWives | 31/05/21 05:58 PM |
| 1 | Am I alone in my beliefs? Where do I go?Hey there! I think you’d find a lot of women here fit into that. I’m in the medical field myself. I feel that men and women evolved differently which means that we have our own strengths and weaknesses. But it doesn’t mean it’s bad in any way. It’s just different. Approaches are different. The complementary feminine and masculine traits can make for a successful child rearing partnership and a rewarding mutually beneficial relationship too. I believe that this is separate from basic human rights… | /r/RedPillWives | 01/04/21 01:16 PM |
| 21 | My Grandmother’s Rather Wonderful AdviceThis is great advice! Thank you. Definitely will be practicing this. So far the best advice I’ve gotten about marriage was that the relationship between mother and father is the nucleus of the family. Because often when children come along, husband and wife focus everything on children and see themselves as ‘mom’ and ‘dad’ and forget about their own relationship. Children become their absolute centre and these children grow up to be very entitled. But in a more ‘traditional’ sense, if the man an… | /r/RedPillWives | 01/04/21 10:54 AM |
| 2 | How do I begin attracting men when I’ve always been career-driven?Most doctors do tend to date within the same circles. I do agree and yes it’s mostly because we’d understand each other lifestyles. However that said, my partner isn’t a doctor and works a pretty busy lifestyle too which works well with me. I’ve never been able to date someone who doesn’t have a lot of things going on for themselves/are very independent in their own right. I’d find it too smothering. It really depends on the speciality we choose. I’m transitioning back into family medicine so I … | /r/RedPillWomen | 15/02/21 12:26 PM |
| 25 | How do I begin attracting men when I’ve always been career-driven?Hello! 30F doctor here. Looking back to my student days, it was a lot of time studying. Your time was premium because yeah, you’re struggling to manage sleep/study/social life/personal development (I love this! Big high five to you). And I relate so much to what you say about being shy and not being into loud stereotypical males (though funnily enough my partner is very much an extrovert). So let’s get to your question on how to increase your femininity and attracting the men you’re into. So soc… | /r/RedPillWomen | 15/02/21 12:06 PM |
| 23 | How to deal with extremely blue pill advice from my parents?Hmmm it’s not any pill to have career aspirations. They’re being cautious. Basically it’s providing insurance for you so your husband isn’t your be-all-end-all. We all go into marriages/relationships with happily-ever-after in our minds but sometimes life happens. Spouses die, people get divorced. What’s going to happen if you’re a widow with kids to feed? But you’ve been out of work for x years and find yourself having to get back to the workforce? And being parents they’re trying to make sure … | /r/RedPillWomen | 12/02/21 06:00 PM |
| 3 | Any other book recommendations? And how have these beliefs changed your relationships?Seven principles for making marriage work by John Gottman This is a great book for people in relationships- married or not. Would highly recommend | /r/RedPillWomen | 10/02/21 02:39 AM |
| 3 | How to connect to my sexuality again?Couple of things you could try: If you’re on the pill, it’s worth trying to make a comparison how you’ve felt being on and off it. There have been studies that show that being on the pill affects your natural ability to sense MHC (major histocompatibility complexes) for sexual compatibility. Being on the pill affects your natural cycles and prevents your ovulating phase when you’re naturally feeling/looking sexier as this is your most fertile period. I heavily encourage exercise as a way to boos… | /r/RedPillWomen | 09/02/21 04:54 PM |
| 42 | Tips on not feeling bad about “hitting the wall”Second this! I’m a 30F and I feel much more confident in myself now than I did in my 20s. Mostly because I spent a lot of that time trying to figure myself out and work on things, travel, my career. And it might just be me, but I felt the quality of men I meet in my 30s are also WAY better than in my 20s. Though I always dated men of similar age to me. The men now are more matured, settled in their lives and looking to build something together. As long as you take care of yourself- regular exerc… | /r/RedPillWomen | 27/01/21 01:37 PM |
| 2 | Low-cost lingerie/nightwear/loungewear recommendations? (UK)Ann summers does some pretty lingerie and they’re really good price on sale. Could check them out x | /r/RedPillWomen | 24/01/21 06:01 PM |
| 4 | How to remain confident as you get olderSecond this! I turned 30 last year and I never felt more comfortable in my own skin. I noticed that the skincare routine and exercise I did in my 20s really helped so I’m trying to really hone in on that to keep myself looking good hopefully as I age. Though looking at my grandmother and mom, they’re women who have always taken care of themselves so I have hope that this whole ‘ageing gracefully’ thing is very attainable. (My grandmother wore heels well to her 70s and still does her hair, make u… | /r/RedPillWives | 23/01/21 07:55 PM |
| 1 | How do you reconcile your RP beliefs with your individuality?Well Red pill theory is what it is- a theory. And these are guidelines on how to implement the principles learnt in this said theory. How much you want to stick to it it’s entirely up to the individual, there’s no hard and fast rule. As with any idea- it’s open to question. You should always question anything, be critical if it and rationalise it for yourself rather than following things blindly. These are my own personal thoughts and people are welcome to disagree. For me, being feminine or mas… | /r/RedPillWomen | 21/01/21 02:20 PM |
| 3 | Overwhelmed by taking care of my appearanceJust as other commenters have mentioned, it’s all about getting a routine down. I’m not fussed about eyelashes, nails because I work a busy job that doesn’t allow it. But I like maintaining my hair a certain way so I colour mine every 8-10 weeks professionally (depending on how light I go that season) and get a Brazilian keratin blowout every 6 months or so to keep it looking silky straight. That is mostly for maintenance because it cuts down me doing my hair on a daily basis and it’ll still loo… | /r/RedPillWomen | 21/01/21 01:03 PM |
| 16 | Ignore the hate from other womenI second this. While I overall agree with holding a higher standard for ourselves and respecting the men in our lives I think the framing of the message was a little bit off and almost came off as being a bit ‘holier than thou’. Though I understand the sentiment. I was bullied viciously in school for being ‘that’ girl but kept my head down because I was hell bent in getting my medical degree. I’m lucky that I was considered attractive being mixed race so I modelled part time and was afforded a l… | /r/RedPillWomen | 12/01/21 10:59 AM |
| 3 | Being in love with a red pilled manThis may come from a stranger on the internet, but I want you to know that you deserve so much more. Everyone deserves to be treated with love and respect especially from their partners. | /r/RedPillWomen | 09/01/21 04:47 PM |
| 9 | Being in love with a red pilled manI don’t think it matters if it’s emotional or physical- cheating is cheating OP. And I second that there are plenty of red-pilled men who hate cheating and won’t condone it. I’m hoping this won’t come off the wrong way OP, but I do feel that all those years of him treating you this way has taken a significant dip in your self esteem and your ability to assess situations objectively. I can see it in the way that you somehow try to justify that his cheating is emotional and other excuses for bad b… | /r/RedPillWomen | 09/01/21 04:15 PM |
| 2 | How to pick myself up after a breakupI found that setting a timeline helped me keep a ‘deadline’ in my head to get as much out as possible and to keep me from being stuck in a rut. Plus, it gives myself accountability to take control of my own actions and emotions instead of pushing the blame onto others for my own feelings. It’s easy to do when we’re sad and hurt. You run the risk of falling into a victim mentality instead of growing as a person. There’s only so much sadness the people around you can take and support you through w… | /r/RedPillWomen | 05/01/21 03:23 PM |
| 2 | Increasing RMW from natural RPWFrom my experience, my choice of career hasn’t been a hindrance at all with finding a HVM. Most men I’ve dated were wonderful. It’s dangerous to generalise that saying ‘most men want a woman who has etc etc career’. A lot of men appreciate a woman who can hold her own. When I was dating, it seemed to be a factor that most men picked up on. Granted my partner doesn’t need me to work for our household income but he appreciates it that I can scale up/down my working hours if we needed to (he earns … | /r/RedPillWomen | 05/01/21 01:25 PM |
| 22 | How to pick myself up after a breakupI’m sorry about your break up but rest assured that your feelings are very much justified and you’re already doing the right things by staying busy and picking up a new hobby to break up your routine. What I’ve found for myself that worked was giving myself time to grieve for the relationship when it ended. I acknowledged the good times but focused heavily on why things ended. During this time (I usually give myself 3-7 days) do whatever you need to do- cry, sob, call your friends, lie in bed, e… | /r/RedPillWomen | 05/01/21 12:51 PM |
| 8 | Married Male Friend (early 30s M) is Not Allowed to be in Contact with Me (late 20s F)I think it’s very hard to maintain friendships between friends of the opposite gender because once they start having families, LTRs you’d need to understand that your friendship gets pushed below other life priorities, sometimes completely negated in the process. That’s just life unfortunately. A lot of people think that it’s impossible to have a strictly platonic friendship between different genders and to a large extent I agree and so does my partner. We’ve all had lives before we met each oth… | /r/RedPillWomen | 29/12/20 01:11 PM |
| 22 | Where can I learn what not to wear now im 30?Personally I think if you dress for what is right for your body, it’s hard for you to go wrong regardless of age. That depends on your body type, cut of clothing, colours, occasion. I’ve always loved dresses that accentuate my figure (and that hasn’t changed much since I was in my late teens, 20s). Plus a lot of dress and skirt styles suit a wide age range too! As long as you feel put together, you can rock that look. | /r/RedPillWomen | 27/12/20 07:29 PM |
| 1 | How do I determine my value (19F)?Based on your post history, I can see that this is an issue that’s been on your mind for sometime but ‘value’ is one of those things that’s more of a subjective rather than objective measurement. It’s difficult to quantify looks. Someone could be a HB7 to one man but HB4 to another. There was a study that showed that women severely underrate their own looks and tend to overrate others but when men were asked to rate these women, their scales were way different. So focusing on looking a certain w… | /r/RedPillWomen | 22/12/20 01:41 PM |
| 16 | my boyfriend wants to start a family with me and live our lives together, but not marry meMy heart really goes out to you OP, I’m so sorry you’re going through this. From what you’ve said about him, it’s clear you absolutely adore this man but as hard as it is, loving someone shouldn’t make you to feel this way- this anger, this hurt, resentment, pain. It’ll eat you up inside until there’s nothing left. How can you be a good partner if all that hurt has made you so bitter inside? As painful as it is, take his word for what it is. Take it at face value. He doesn’t want to marry. It’s … | /r/RedPillWomen | 03/12/20 07:28 PM |
| 8 | Dating only foreigners? Putting up with men from country?I feel you. I’m mixed race and if that wasn’t enough, we’re multi religious too. Growing up I didn’t feel like I ‘belonged’ to one race or another but everyone in my family was kinda in the same boat (we’re 3 generations of inter-racial and inter-religious marriages). It was nice within our extended family but society wasn’t too kind. I suffered a lot of mental, physical, emotional abuse growing up (again, from society) but eventually managed to leave the country and am currently living in a pla… | /r/RedPillWomen | 26/11/20 10:08 PM |
| 0 | How do you girls respond to your man drooling over another woman in front of you?Scenario 1,2,4 - it’s literally out of sight, out of mind. Really. Most men won’t even remember it after she’s walked away. They’re biologically wired to find attractive women... attractive. They’re very visual but most often, it’s harmless. Though as a caveat, it depends on the man. If he’s got a history of being unfaithful, then it’s an issue. Take that as an overall picture 3rd situation I’d have an issue with because that’s just disrespectful and I’d call him out on that. If the roles were r… | /r/RedPillWomen | 24/11/20 12:35 PM |
| 8 | Chase love or go for stability?I’ve thought of this question a lot and came to a conclusion that there isn’t a right or wrong answer but ultimate you’d need to have very clear insight of: 1. What are you willing to live with? 2. What are you willing to live without? Both questions you’d need to answer honestly to yourself. Would you be willing to stay with him when things aren’t so rosy? If so, why? If not, why? My mother + grandmother always said that throughout their marriages, what got them through the hard times was simpl… | /r/RedPillWomen | 18/11/20 03:31 PM |
| 5 | How do you tell your family you're traditional?I get where you’re coming from. Law school is a commitment and I understand that at 31 you’d like to focus on homemaking skills, being a mom. I don’t think there’s a right or wrong answer to this but my 2 cents is that I think you should also focus energy on building something for yourself away from your ‘future relationship’. It’s a personal opinion but I feel that a sense of achievement outside of my relationship has made me a better partner to my HVM. He once said that he loved how traditiona… | /r/RedPillWives | 06/11/20 03:10 PM |
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