~ archived since 2018 ~
~ archived since 2018 ~
| Upvotes | Title | Category | Author | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 12 | Game without Games(Free Book on Amazon) on Confidence, AA, Rejection, Fear and Inner Game | EpictetustheWise | /r/seduction | 03/08/15 02:23 PM | |
| 4 | 40 Books that Crush Social Conditioning, Fear, Approach Anxiety, Etc. | EpictetustheWise | /r/seduction | 08/02/17 12:17 AM |
| Upvotes | Comment on | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Game without Games(Free Book on Amazon) on Confidence, AA, Rejection, Fear and Inner GameHa...I don't know that I'd recommend my book or if anyone will even like it. (It's sits at #7 on this best sellers list as I write this behind a book about Bondage, maybe guys will like that better? http://www.amazon.com/Best-Sellers-Kindle-Store-Love-Romance/zgbs/digital-text/156559011/ref=zg_bs_fvp_p_f_156559011?_encoding=UTF8&tf=1) It's just an expression of my perception on things because I was tired of meeting and reading things from guys who have the same problems over and over again and g… | /r/seduction | 04/08/15 02:29 AM |
| 1 | Game without Games(Free Book on Amazon) on Confidence, AA, Rejection, Fear and Inner GameNo problem...that's what I always tell myself, another one won't hurt, which probably explains why no matter how many I read, I've always got 20-30 more books on deck. | /r/seduction | 03/08/15 07:42 PM |
| 1 | Game without Games(Free Book on Amazon) on Confidence, AA, Rejection, Fear and Inner GameI'm glad you think so, haha. | /r/seduction | 03/08/15 06:20 PM |
| 1 | Where does your confidence stem from?Glad to be of some help | /r/seduction | 03/08/15 06:20 PM |
| 1 | What are the steps to gaining confidence?Some guys asked this question over the past few days on here, these were my responses and it's still applicable: I also wrote a whole book about it here (it's free to download today and Tuesday, once Amazon updates. You just need to download the free kindle app, as well): http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00XB2I8NU?*Version*=1&*entries*=0 "Nothing 'makes' me feel confident, I simply am confident because I exist as a man. This comes from acceptance of yourself and your place in the universe and u… | /r/seduction | 03/08/15 01:46 PM |
| 2 | Where does your confidence stem from?Yes, accept that we are non-perfect beings and that life consists of variables that are outside of our control BUT still work to improve oneself. Looks, status, and other things DO MATTER, in that, they have influence over the outcome of social situations but they guarantee nothing and you can never totally control what happens when you try to get with women. You are surrendering and accepting your core self not surrendering to the fact your life is currently not where you want it to be and you … | /r/seduction | 02/08/15 05:22 PM |
| 5 | Where does your confidence stem from?Nothing 'makes' me feel confident, I simply am confident because I exist as a man. This comes from acceptance of yourself and your place in the universe and unlike most people's definition of confidence is not based on external stimuli. Any time confidence is based on something external (the environment, how a girl reacts to you, alcohol/drugs) it is a tenuous boost at best. After all, if something goes wrong (a negative reaction from a female) your confidence plummets, as if you are somehow les… | /r/seduction | 02/08/15 02:50 PM |
| 5 | Breaking PointUnderstand two things: you already ARE what you need to be. You are not that important. Stay with me here and I'll explain what I mean with those two statements... 1) You are not that important You mentioned that when approaching (or thinking about it) you fear being rejected, being perceived as a weird guy, that girls hate you, etc. All of these are symptoms of being caught up in your own head. Being egotistical isn't just telling everybody how great you are, it can also be just being so self-a… | /r/seduction | 01/08/15 03:03 PM |
| 3 | Struggling to get my head around Alex's 'you are enough' concept"See that you fear without reason, that you foolishly desire what you do desire; seek not the good in things external; seek it in yourselves: if you do not, you will not find it." -Epictetus How I embraced a new mode of thought and cultivated the internal framework to allow myself to simply 'be' was through direct experience and reading philosophy/self-help books which reinforced the notion in my mind. I began to learn that I had no absolute control over things/people external to me but I could … | /r/seduction | 01/08/15 02:24 PM |
| 1 | College.College is almost 100% social networking in terms of getting girls...seriously. Yes, you can indeed get a bad rep for doing the usual 'game' approaches (having conversations is different from running game). The beauty of building a huge social network is that opportunities just fall in your lap with little to no effort...for instance, maybe you get involved in some volunteer group or other student academic or social club, and a girl in there sees you just being social then becomes attracted then… | /r/seduction | 23/07/15 01:43 PM |
| 2 | 20y M Never had a girlfirendIf you're contemplating suicide...it runs deeper than just your perceived lack of success with women. Seriously, a woman is not going to make things 'right'. I was in a very similar place as you at that age and then started to get girls (which was great for a while) and then ended up even more miserable because it was never about them. I wrote all about my experiences and how my outlook/philosophy on life changed here: http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00XB2I8NU?*Version*=1&*entries*=0 It is ver… | /r/seduction | 20/07/15 06:32 PM |
| 1 | If I only have sucess with average girls... that means Im average/ugly as fuck ?Wait, what? Why would hooking up with girls, hold you back? Yes, looks and other superficial level factors matter more in the bar and club scene than they do otherwise....but most girls (even hot ones) are insecure with their appearance and in everyday life it is much less a factor for them, in terms of whether or not they hook up with you. If you want hotter girls...then build up your life and character as a man. Be smart, in shape, social, funny, caring, have goals, passions, etc. and you will… | /r/seduction | 20/07/15 06:17 PM |
| 0 | Just Been Shunned after Trying to Talk to Girl :-(Shunned? You spit some weak shit and got shot down. It shouldn't be a biggie and certainly shouldn't effect you enough to start a thread on Reddit about it. You sound like you are way too attached to outcome, perception, and taking things personally. She wasn't into you or didn't feel like talking at that point in time. Learn to let go, see: http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00XB2I8NU?*Version*=1&*entries*=0 | /r/seduction | 20/07/15 06:07 PM |
| 1 | Stop gaming and just focus on yourself? Good or bad idea?It's eventually about finding balance and living the life you want to...not allowing girls or others to dictate how you live or interact with the world around you. I did a solid 3-4 years of going out and messing with girls and it got me nowhere in life (ended up even more miserable despite getting laid and achieving my goals of being able to approach girls). After that, I gave it up for about a year and a half (didn't talk to one girl, in terms of trying to hookup with them) and that was the mo… | /r/seduction | 30/05/15 03:20 PM |
| 1 | I feel like a Beta Male, how do I stop caring about failure?Detach yourself from outcome and don't tie up your self-value in the validation of others. Break things down further to its base...What is success? How do you measure it? Is it making out with a girl? Is it still a success if that make out gave you a case of Mono or a cold? Is fucking a girl a success? What if she's absolutely nuts and now you have some crazy person screwing up your life...was it still a success? Stop believing the narrative you create about life in your head...this society is u… | /r/seduction | 30/05/15 03:09 PM |
| 1 | I honestly have no idea what I'm doing?See, things aren't as bad as they seem. You have an education, interests, employment, and at least the ability to get dates. These are all apart of the foundation which you can build upon. You seem to always buy into the narrative that's in your head about your life and while things do indeed get frustrating as hell, most problems are just a matter of working them out. I used to talk myself out of doing things all of the time too (just like your interview)...like why workout? I can put it off un… | /r/seduction | 28/05/15 11:21 PM |
| 1 | Have gotten called creepy on several occasions, what is the deal with this?She isn't comfortable with you, she doesn't like you, you're awkward...etc...pick one because it could be any reason. I honestly hate the concept of kino. It's so premeditated and why bother if it doesn't feel natural? You're obviously talking to girls, so that's a start but why try to rush your intentions by forcing a touch when she might not be ready for it? Not every approach has to end in a one night stand (or any for that matter). It is perfectly ok to take a longer term approach (long-term… | /r/seduction | 28/05/15 09:19 PM |
| 1 | I honestly have no idea what I'm doing?First of all, relax...life doesn't have to be this stressful and feel like a giant failure. You have a set of problems in front of you, take them down piece by piece and slowly improve your lot. Ok, you had a shitty date and have a shitty job. That's actually better than plenty of guys (who can't get either), so you really aren't at square one. The first thing I would recommend is to work on your mindset on a daily basis. When I was really depressed years ago, I would listen to audio on YouTube … | /r/seduction | 28/05/15 09:02 PM |
| 1 | Is physical self-improvement really that important?In terms of getting girls? Yes, it matters in short-term attraction (approaching at a bar) and less so as the relationship moves forward. Everything is based on how they perceive you and if you can alter that perception, you can alter the outcome of the interaction. I had the opposite problem, I was too overweight but there was a definite shift in the reactions I got from girls when I added muscle and leaned up. If you were to put on more mass, the same thing would happen to you. Whether you wan… | /r/seduction | 26/05/15 09:17 PM |
| 1 | I want to have a girlfriend but i dont think im good enough.If you're not good enough for a girlfriend, then what makes them good enough for you? Just not being fat and might like to play tabletop games? You probably shouldn't even be trying to have a steady girlfriend a this point in time because you will probably get involved with some chick that takes advantage of your inexperience and lack of self-belief. Your post is just so chock full of negative thinking about who you are, that just grasping for almost any chick that will have you, is 100% guarant… | /r/seduction | 25/05/15 06:59 PM |
| 2 | I can't talk to girls that attract me at allAll girls (no matter what they look like) are just girls...they have a lot of the same traits and feelings, so talking to one is pretty much like talking to any other. You need to learn how to control your desire and believe that you are good enough as a man. Try to not focus on the outcome of the conversation (getting a number, sex, whatever), just exploring who she is as a person and seeing if there is any interest there. Hot girls aren't special, they're sexy as hell, but not special. Think a… | /r/seduction | 25/05/15 06:34 PM |
| 3 | IS late teens-mid 20s the best time to get with girls?Damn, I'm older than 25...guess it's all down hill for me. Guess I can't get any girls my age or younger...ha! You're only 22 and you've already resigned any chance you have with girls because you made up in your head some false timeline? What is behind this false timeline? Fear. Fear of change, fear of rejection, fear of putting yourself out there, etc. In fact, that's what this whole post was, just one big mess of fear, doubt, and anxiety about a future that isn't even real. To answer your que… | /r/seduction | 25/05/15 01:11 PM |
| 3 | How would I meet someone who is like me?This is sort of like going on a hunting forum and saying that you want to hunt a certain animal (but you don't know what), you have no skills or weapons to hunt with, but you want to know where to find this specific creature (that you don't know what it is)... The honest answer is that you're not at a point of being specific yet. You need to cast a wide net (talk to a lot of girls) and learn how to talk and interact with them. Don't put up barriers to what groups you might want to join or what t… | /r/seduction | 24/05/15 08:43 PM |
| 2 | I'm not who I want to beThe first thing that you need to begin to understand is that you already 'are' and there really is nothing that you need to 'become'. Most people public pretend to be something they're not anyways, so not being the man you want to be, really isn't much different. Now, there is who you are internally and who you are presenting yourself to be externally to the world (job title, clothing choice, etc.) and the two often get conflated with one another. Your problem seems to be both internal and exter… | /r/seduction | 24/05/15 08:22 PM |
| 5 | A stoic mental tool to reduce clinginess.Yep, the stoics had it right in terms of the internal versus the external...external things whether they are good or bad must be let go, as they are outside of your faculties, and hence your control. That attachment is to be but a slave to that external person or thing...Epictetus, Marcus Aurelius, and Seneca are all also great reads. Read all of those years ago and applied it to my own experiences: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00XB2I8NU | /r/seduction | 14/05/15 11:38 PM |
| 2 | Suggested summer readings?Anything by stoic philosophers, seriously, will help get your mind right: Marcus Aurelius, Epictetus, Seneca Read Eckhart Tolle: Power of Now and Stillness Speaks Books by Jiddu Krishnamurti Those books will help you to think about yourself in terms on how to live and what your place is in this crazy universe. Then just stack those books (they're short) with any topic that you want to learn more about or get better in. | /r/seduction | 10/05/15 03:44 PM |
| 8 | Is giving number to a girl stupid move??The only stupid move is not trying. I'll give my number to girls but I usually tell them to text me, so I'll have their number. If I get their number, I'll text them while we are standing there, to make sure it's not fake and so that a conversation is already started. Just realize some numbers are going to be dead ends and the chick will never be that into you. Accept that and keep it moving. | /r/seduction | 10/05/15 03:22 PM |
| 1 | How do I stop feeling so crushed when I get rejected?It's essentially your ego at work, most people tend to equate 'ego' with just being a cocky asshole. Not the case. It can also come in the form of the narrative you create in your head. So, for instance, every rejection turns into a 'woe is me' ordeal. You start believing that story about yourself and get to believing that you're somehow unique in your experiences...again, not the case. Every single approach with a girl is different. Meaning, how one turns out will not determine how the next one… | /r/seduction | 10/05/15 03:14 PM |
| 3 | Looking for Advice on my first kiss, as an adult.As someone, who didn't get a kiss until after high school (aside from some random fat chick who ambushed me...god, that sucked), don't worry about it. My first, legit kiss? Was with some girl I had met and hit it off with...she told me I kissed weird, which, I am 900% sure was code for me being terrible at it. Whatever, I had plenty of practice later in the night when I was having sex with her and it got better from there on out. Just keep it simple and don't force anything. | /r/seduction | 08/05/15 07:26 PM |
| 0 | Some people aren't afraid of rejection, it's the aftermath.Honestly, most people don't give a shit about you or what you do because they are so wrapped up in themselves...that is, unless you are really fucking creepy or desperate. If you don't have the social awareness to know the difference between a conversation and creepy, you'd better get to work. I remember being at a college party a few years back and there was this dude who was staring at the ass of one of the girls in my group for like 2 solid minutes. Me and him made eye contact, then, I could … | /r/seduction | 08/05/15 07:20 PM |
| 2 | Getting over self-fulfilling prophecies & rejection.Dude..... You are not hopeless, you are fine. This is nothing more than your mind playing tricks on you and you buying into those three rejections as confirmation that you are hopeless. None of which is true. I know that it seems like everything has to be about getting girls when you have none. But, everything is actually about you. Trust me, even if you had a hundred girls to choose from right now, you'd end up miserable eventually because you haven't come to terms with yourself and your existe… | /r/seduction | 08/05/15 06:45 PM |
| 2 | How much does style really matter?Everything about you 'matters' in totality. It's just to what extent. Style matters somewhat because most guys can't dress for shit and so it can help separate you from the pack a bit. You really don't need to spend much money...I swear I've gotten just as much action while wearing $25 outfits as $250 ones. Two basic rules for clothes: Fit for your body- For instance, I'm tall and lean, so some shirts aren't long enough and make me look blocky while others are way too baggy and make me look stup… | /r/seduction | 08/05/15 04:44 PM |
| 3 | What do you do when negs go a little bit too far?If she is genuinely insulted, then just apologize. Maybe you just said something and it came out totally wrong or maybe she is dumb and can't pick up on sarcasm. Keep it moving, it's not a big deal to say sorry, and then continue the conversation. I tease the shit out of women constantly, so occasionally this sort of thing comes up and it's easy to just flip her mood back to being positive. | /r/seduction | 08/05/15 04:31 PM |
| 1 | What do you guys use to deal with Anxiety?I used to really only feel nerves and anxiety socially, so maybe, my experiences are different from yours...But, what really helped me the most out of anything was to change my perspective on life, the world around me, and my interactions in it. This is kind of a brief overview of what I mean: When I was working on my own problems socially, I noticed that, the times I was the most afraid was when I was being the most egocentric. My ego, while trying to protect itself from getting hurt (rejection… | /r/seduction | 15/11/14 04:51 PM |
| 2 | Post college life is SCARYIt's actually about the same as college, just way less centralized, so you'll have to do a lot more footwork. My college experience was different from yours, in that, I was a commuter student and had to work off-campus all through college. Due to this fact, I always had to hustle to get girls. Hottie in English class? I HAD to sit next to her and get the digits, as there was little chance I'd see her again. Anyways, your three options for meeting people are social circle, cold approach, and onli… | /r/seduction | 14/11/14 12:10 PM |
| 19 | In one short sentence, sum up the most important tip you've learned to succeed in the art of seduction.Develop yourself and your life as much as possible and the girls start to chase you. Also, let go of outcome and have standards for what you want. | /r/seduction | 13/11/14 12:58 PM |
| 2 | How do I get started (high school)OK, so let me first just start by saying that high school is a completely unique situation in terms of dating and getting with girls. It's a social circle game (i.e. who you know) like college but wayyy more based on cliques. With that being said, don't learn how to 'game' girls, you need to learn to be social first. Sort of learning to walk before you run. First thing, right off the bat you can change, is your bad hygiene. Seriously, dude, it ain't hard. Take a shower daily or twice a day, wear… | /r/seduction | 13/11/14 03:21 AM |
| 25 | Even though I know I shouldn't need validation from girls, I do. It drives me crazy when a girl doesn't reciprocate the same interest I do. I really want to stop this, how can I?Years ago, when I first started being able to attract girls, I went through a similar thing to what you're talking about. It is interesting to see other guys bring up oneitis because if you did get more girls around it would indeed diffuse your attention/feelings for that one girl you hooked up with and lessen the intensity somewhat. However, in my experience it goes deeper than that, to an identity level type of problem. I also started adding more girls to the 'roster' and while it helped to pr… | /r/seduction | 12/11/14 05:20 PM |
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