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EstablishmentHot4889 Archive

View 4 posts and 46 comments by EstablishmentHot4889 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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1

OYS Number: 1 OYS Comment Preference: 3 Demographics: 50 F, husband 51, 2 children Gratitude list: My husband is very handsome, smart, gentle, fucks me well and fills me up, my children are in perfect health, I have a fabulous house, don't need to work right now (!) because my H takes care of that, the ladies down at r/surrendered_wife, my friend L who ALWAYS supports me, Things I Did for My Present: Massaged my own hands and told myself I was doing good, Smiled about my ladies down at r/surrend…
/r/RedPillWives24/06/26 08:35 AM
1

Get yourself down to survivinginfidelity.com and start posting and reading.
/r/Divorce_Men19/06/26 06:23 AM
1

https://www.alturtle.com/archives/1326 What to do when He/She Leaves? This the best I can find.
/r/Divorce_Men15/06/26 08:19 AM
1

Read this website from top to bottom and listen to the Interviews https://www.alturtle.com/
/r/Divorce_Men10/06/26 05:09 PM
1

Read this website from top to bottom and learn all The Relationship Skills mentioned on it with your next partner. https://www.alturtle.com/ Listen to John Gottman: Making Marriage Work. Do the stuff he says that The Masters Of Relationships do with your next partner.
/r/Divorce_Men08/05/26 04:10 PM
1

Who gets to decide who a high value man is? Maybe your definition of high value doesn't match what your ex wife considered high value. Long term it turns out there are more important things that Providing to most women. The emotional component of relationships is a non negotiable. A man puffing out his feathers saying he's high value because he can earn a high salary and has symmetrical facial features and broad shoulders, well maybe he subconsciously wants a pretty young unquestioning and undem…
/r/Divorce_Men10/03/26 08:04 AM
0

Society is asking too much of people if they want all of that. I've literally never seen a man in a high-demand career also be a nurturing and present father and a supportive and faithful husband, when we count nurturing and present to the same number of hours per day of a typical 'nurturing' mother. The husband is out because he usually puts far more effort into the career than the nurturing. He doesn't learn balance. The women get burnt out picking up the slack and see the men as the problem. …
/r/Divorce_Men09/03/26 08:52 AM
1

The picture is complicated. I think a large part of why people are having fewer children is the impact it has upon them financially and the cost of housing and educating them. Other factors are probably not being able to find a satisfactory life partner (and I think for women the bar is higher than for men as their bodies risk far more with pregnancy, childbirth and nursing), and having other life goals such as travel and work so delaying having a family. I think, on the whole, women are quite f…
/r/Divorce_Men08/03/26 09:09 PM
-1

Just to add - my husband is a Cool Dude - NOW. He wasn't 8 years ago I wasn't either. We both needed to grow up a lot. The relationship was miserable and not working. He worked a lot to change and improve and so did I.
/r/Divorce_Men08/03/26 03:22 PM
0

I agree it is not telling the whole picture. There are a lot of interdependencies. However the global trend is to lower willingness from women to have children which is a women-led movement. It's a complicated picture on whether this makes women happier overall but some studies indicate single childless women happiest overall.
/r/Divorce_Men08/03/26 03:15 PM
1

I think Divorce can provoke a lot of learning! Getting to the point of Divorce often seems to be a lack of skills. Both women and men lack these but in general women are more idealistic about relationships and want more out of them and hence keave nore often. My opinion.
/r/Divorce_Men08/03/26 03:11 PM
0

Yes. He knows about me posting on Reddit. It's not particularly controversial stuff? My phone is an open book. As I said, he's chosen to reconcile and he knows my background. There's no point being engaged in lying if you're in reconciliation.
/r/Divorce_Men08/03/26 02:56 PM
0

He's had therapy and he told me he feels safe with me. That's good enough me. I'll let him make his own decisions.
/r/Divorce_Men08/03/26 02:47 PM
1

Check my post history on this sub: https://www.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/s/nz4ojGjZPC Examples of ways you feel disrespected by your wife over the years
/r/Divorce_Men08/03/26 02:45 PM
-4

Yes I'm ok - I come on here to understand perspectives of men whose wives have left them. Just to get all sides. I cheated and left 8 years ago but am now reconciled. Not divorced.
/r/Divorce_Men08/03/26 02:40 PM
1

Yes, they sometimes do it to wake you (and themselves) up If you're interested in being woken up and work on it, follow this advice: https://www.alturtle.com/archives/1326 If you're not, leave.
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/25 09:22 AM
7

The issue womem very frequently have is not about chores themselves but about the feeling of not being alone in the house doing things, when you are there and could be a team with her. She often just wants someone to talk to. This is what her community of women used to provide. Women usually are not able to express this need precisely. I recommend you listen to the audiobook by John Gray "What Your Mother Couldn't Tell You and Your Father Didn't Know". It will help you understand both your point…
/r/Divorce_Men12/03/25 08:37 AM
1

Turns out the latest development is she snooped on him and he was having an affair and waiting to spring the divorce on her. Just a shit marriage.
/r/Divorce_Men11/03/25 08:05 PM
2

Did you see it coming? Are you surprised by the difference in points of view?
/r/Divorce_Men10/03/25 07:52 PM
3

I did think that they really piled in on him. What struck me is that he agreed to change the financial split at her request yet this gave her no cause to reevaluate.
/r/Divorce_Men10/03/25 07:49 PM
1

WTF
/r/Divorce_Men06/03/25 08:02 PM
1

I notice that my first post asking how you wife disrespected you got a lot of posts quickly. Everyone needs and wants to be validated for their negative experiences, what was "done to them" Flipping it around and asking if the original posters are aware of the dynamic, I notice is the desire to understand the other, the desire to put it into context and see it through their eyes is lacking.
/r/Divorce_Men03/12/24 11:56 AM
1

So you're currently one foot out of the door mentally?
/r/Divorce_Men24/11/24 09:50 AM
3

That's a shame. It takes us a long time to see stuff. I know. Good answer I think. It probably helps more to turn it around.
/r/Divorce_Men23/11/24 08:05 AM
1

Why are you on the Divirce forum? If you don't mind me asking.
/r/Divorce_Men23/11/24 08:01 AM
1

Yeah but how did she disrespect you?
/r/Divorce_Men21/11/24 07:14 PM
4

Yes!
/r/Divorce_Men21/11/24 05:22 PM
1

I see. It's hard to know from a short post. I am always curious to know exactly what people have tried. How did they know it was not going to get better, etc. If you were in love with a person to start with, I wonder why it is not possible to go back to behaving as you used to, ie with respect, admiration, affection and self care and achieve a better relationship.
/r/Divorce_Men18/11/24 08:52 PM
2

That's really sad.
/r/Divorce_Men18/11/24 09:53 AM
0

"It's not going to get any better" Sounds pretty passive. Have you tried to understand, together, what make your relationship better?
/r/Divorce_Men16/11/24 08:33 AM
1

I appreciate how difficult it is for you. The baby is out of your hands as it is in another person's body.
/r/Divorce_Men31/10/24 01:02 PM
1

She needs to do the work, much more than you do. She needs to bust a gut to prove that she can learn to love you. It's hard work. I'm a woman who cheated and reconciled I can tell you it's been hard hard work to realise in how many areas I was failing to be a good partner and correct them.
/r/Divorce_Men31/10/24 12:06 PM
1

She needs to do the work, much more than you do. She needs to bust a gut to prove that she can learn to love you. It's hard work. I'm a woman who cheated and reconciled I can tell you it's been hard hard work to realise in how many areas I was failing to be a good partner and correct them.
/r/Divorce_Men31/10/24 12:06 PM
2

Think carefully why you to make babies with someone with whom you have had a very tenuous relationship for 8 years. Talk over how fragile the relationship is with her and tell her you understand her hesitancy about adding another child into a tenuous situation Then get counselling together and separately.
/r/Divorce_Men22/10/24 06:16 AM
1

Maybe learn to cook?
/r/Divorce_Men20/10/24 07:12 AM
0

In other words,you had no boundaries whatsoever
/r/Divorce_Men20/10/24 06:45 AM
2

Read the Map Of Relationships to understand what is happening to you and what happened in your divorce. It's not a question of marriage or not. Living together generates the same outcomes Here it is Map Of Relationships
/r/Divorce_Men14/10/24 11:34 AM
1

Invest in a great wardrobe and hairstyle. Smell good Cultivate the skill of coming across as confident, which is a lot to do with being happy with yourself and valuing yourself and having a consistently positive outlook
/r/Divorce_Men06/10/24 10:53 AM
2

Playing video games is a hobby that basically blocks out the people you're with. You dont "meet other people's needs" while you're doing it. At the beginning of a relationship, when you have no kids, people have time and energy and can get what they need elsewhere. Which she may well have done without either of you registering it. As life becomes more complicated following children, there is less time for everything, including getting our needs met externally to the relationship . Our partner be…
/r/Divorce_Men04/10/24 07:26 PM
2

I see. It is complicated. I always think the more responsibility we take ourselves in our lives, the better it turns out for everyone ....including ourselves in the long run. That's where I was coming from. So when I hear "but she / he did/ didn't do blah blah and that's why it didn't work" I don't hear responsibility being taken.
/r/Divorce_Men04/10/24 07:12 PM
3

Why not vet the counsellors yourself? Or vet the ones she had vetted? Surely the choice can't only be down to one person.
/r/Divorce_Men03/10/24 07:55 PM
1

But why didn't you put in the effort if you were spending so much time and money??
/r/Divorce_Men03/10/24 07:52 PM
1

Sounds positive. Have a listen to DrPsychMom on Spotify. She has some great, short reality-based podcasts explaining how women like your wife think. She orientates a lot of material to explaining women's perspectives in a male friendly way.
/r/Divorce_Men02/10/24 04:53 PM
6

"I need to feel like my partner wants me". How do you make her feel like you want her?
/r/Divorce_Men24/09/24 12:14 PM
1

She left her husband for a martial arts teacher who was not rich?
/r/Divorce_Men13/09/24 07:53 PM
1

Keep going for counselling and give it more time. People can change their minds about what they want to do if they see positive changes in the other person. The positive changes will be helpful whether a divorce goes through in the end or not.
/r/Divorce_Men01/06/24 07:08 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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