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Exciting-Pomelo1227 Archive

View 2 posts and 32 comments by Exciting-Pomelo1227 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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2

Well for me, I knew how "staying" was going to end. At least when you leave, you're betting on yourself and there's a chance that you end up in a different place. I just couldn't look at 30 more years of that and then lay there in the nursing home saying "I wish I'd had the balls to do something different"...
/r/Divorce_Men24/07/25 09:22 PM
1

Really really good post. The reality is that there is no “good” option at this point, if you stay and make it work, there’s the *asterisk as you say, if you leave, it’s soul crushing in a different way. It’s just part of being human and having relationships.
/r/Divorce_Men31/03/25 12:21 PM
5

Username checks out. Nobody cares about your 10L. We live where we live.
/r/Divorce_Men31/03/25 11:21 AM
3

What she's "entitled" to and what the mediator gives her are different things. She should have child support while separated, but how much that would be will vary based on your income differential. My guess is that her lawyer will tie a lump sum for back support as part of her agreement in the settlement, and you'll have to decide whether to pay up or push to trial, where you'll spend a fuck of a lot more money. Yes, the system is rigged, but courts are incredibly supportive of the mother and th…
/r/Divorce_Men30/01/25 10:19 PM
3

Any decent lawyer in CA would tear through those options, and the forensic accountants will itemize everything he did to reduce to shelter assets. The judge will award accordingly. Why in the world would she agree to sign a separation agreement with that much money at stake?
/r/Divorce_Men18/12/24 10:49 PM
5

Similar situation here, prepare to spend $500k+ in legal fees, and she will turnover every rock to find “income available for support”. If you built the business while you were together, she’s going to get her half. You will either have to sell the business or work out an asset split where you retain the stock but she gets a note payable, or other compensating assets. It’s awful, but I’ve made peace with it. It’s the price of freedom.
/r/Divorce_Men18/12/24 07:17 PM
2

Yep, totally get it. Back to the religion metaphor, you're the newly baptized Christian and your wife is still dabbling in her sinning ways. Ultimately, you'll have to decide if you can be the best version of yourself WITH her, knowing that your happiness has to be independent of whatever decision she makes. Tough call.
/r/Divorce_Men12/11/24 08:42 AM
1

I kind of see this like my ex and I... we were both religious when we were young, and she stayed religious and I did... not. I finally left because I couldn't face a life of rigid rules, judgmental people, and limited ability to be myself. So this is the same. It's like you because religious, and she's like "yeah, whatever, I'll try" but you'll have to see if it's real or not. When there's a clash of worldviews, and if the couple cannot find enough common ground to stand on, divorce may be the o…
/r/Divorce_Men12/11/24 08:25 AM
7

Well, let's put it this way. You're in for a ride. You already know that you're going to lose 50% of your assets, and that's with a good lawyer. You can expect to pay between $200k-$400k in attorney fees if the judge makes you pay her fees as well, and that comes out of your half of the assets. Spousal support will be brutal, expect 40% of your pre-retirement, after tax income. That being said, I applaud you for doing something about the marriage while you still have many good years ahead. Most …
/r/Divorce_Men12/11/24 08:08 AM
3

So, if you're cruising along and you're career is advancing and your wife with an office job says "Hey babe, we're making a good income, I can stay home and support the kids full time" and to you that's the time to cut losses and divorce? Not realistic. People get into these SAHM situations organically, and typically with best intentions. It goes south after the divorce starts. My STBX told my kids that I wanted her home so I could control her with the money, even though I'd been practically beg…
/r/Divorce_Men12/11/24 08:04 AM
3

It sounds like you want the divorce without the confrontation, and that's simply not going to happen. The reality is that you will need to grind it through with her, make sure she understands why you want the divorce, and then be prepared to stick to your decision through months and months of excruciating back and forth. That's the reality. Your reasons are fine, that's not for us to judge. I would just say that if you feel you've explained yourself, she understands what the issues are, and you'…
/r/Divorce_Men11/11/24 10:17 AM
2

oh my god, I never thought of sending the emails my ex and I exchanged during the divorce with NotebookLM…. Now I’m going down the rabbit hole….
/r/Divorce_Men08/11/24 08:56 AM
3

First of all, calm the fuck down and chill on the self loathing. The fact that you’re even being reflective here on Reddit means you’re not a heartless savage. Give yourself time. We all act based on programming, and we all need to reorient ourselves when life forces us to reboot. Just make sure you have a good therapist, take lots of walks, watch the drinking and remember life is long.
/r/Divorce_Men27/10/24 06:51 AM
4

Oh my god yes. Mine filed, and has dragged her feet for 2 years. The money spent is staggering, and I am threatening court now because she won’t respond to mediation requests. Her inaction, indecision and hostility are going to cost me everything I’ve earned up to this point in my life. It’s wild man. But I’d still rather be broke than back with her.
/r/Divorce_Men27/10/24 01:18 AM
9

Personal therapy is good. It just takes time. Couples therapy is a mixed bag. My ex stormed out our third session with our second therapist, calling her a "whore who just wants to date you".
/r/Divorce_Men03/10/24 02:16 AM
2

It's interesting. She's done all kinds of insane stuff, but when I tell people about the dog, they're like "fuck that bitch".
/r/Divorce_Men30/09/24 09:09 AM
5

Drink 5 Jack and cokes and go for a walk late at night and put on Dust by Mark Tremonti. The tears will flow. Not that I have any experience.
/r/Divorce_Men29/09/24 02:17 AM
4

My ex had my dog put down without telling me. For some reason, that was it. All the shit she’d put me through, it it was that moment I stopped caring about her feelings.
/r/Divorce_Men28/09/24 12:36 PM
6

Uhhhh..... this is an insane story. You WHAT? Found out your wife was an escort for 18 years?
/r/Divorce_Men25/09/24 11:25 AM
7

God, why would you even want them? The biggest boner killer I can imagine would be a nude of my ex... Just delete them and send her a screen recording of you doing the "Delete All" function in Photos and be done with it.
/r/Divorce_Men25/09/24 11:20 AM
1

This. I can't imagine why the fuck OP would even think of going.
/r/Divorce_Men24/09/24 10:59 AM
1

Not even that.
/r/Divorce_Men24/09/24 10:57 AM
3

I'm in this same situation, in California. We're supposedly headed for mediation, and she's asked for what amounts to 90% of my take home pay as support. AND they have my income and bank statements, so they know what my take home has been for the last 3 years. My lawyer is calm and cool while I'm losing my shit, and she's just very steady - "No, this is not acceptable, No, we will not be doing that, Yes, he's ready to go to trial if we can't settle at mediation". It calms me down when I feel lik…
/r/Divorce_Men24/09/24 09:40 AM
2

Super interesting question, I've thought a lot about this. There's validation on TikTok and IG for anything - your wife is a narcissist, your husband is a narcissist, you can be a swinger, you shouldn't accept a boring marriage, you SHOULD accept a boring marriage. There's never been a period in history when we're battered by so many ideas, just constantly pounded. And the comments, my god. So I think it has a lot to do with it. That being said, it's an open question if we should be staying in m…
/r/Divorce_Men24/09/24 01:50 AM
4

It fucking suck in every conceivable way.
/r/Divorce_Men31/08/24 11:20 PM
1

Yep, will be $200k plus. If we go to trial and can't settle in mediation, $300k+.
/r/Divorce_Men28/08/24 07:04 PM
1

What do you mean it's never worth the price? It's not worth the price to get out of a marriage that you can't live in anymore?
/r/Divorce_Men28/08/24 07:03 PM
3

Glad to hear you came out on the other side. Yes, sex has been upgraded substantially... silver linings I guess.
/r/Divorce_Men27/08/24 12:42 AM
6

Yep, same with me. My regret is that I didn't fight to get back in the house, I just moved into an apartment.
/r/Divorce_Men27/08/24 12:41 AM
0

This is absurd advice. You don't just turn into a cold hearted killer overnight. My god.
/r/Divorce_Men25/08/24 11:22 PM
3

Agree. Fight NOW and fight QUICK. Don't let her set the agenda. Go get your kids, there's a lot of life to live.
/r/Divorce_Men25/08/24 11:03 PM
5

Oh man, this is tough. I'm in a similar situation, where my wife fed my 17 year old so much shit about me that she stopped talking to me completely. It's so painful I can hardly wrap my mind around it. The court wouldn't do anything for me because my daughter was almost 18, but it can do something for you. You can file a petition with the court for a custody review, and force a psychological intervention with a family psychologist. Get to the bottom NOW, because if she turns 16, then 17, then yo…
/r/Divorce_Men25/08/24 11:01 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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