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Exotic_Cheetah5918 Archive

View 0 posts and 682 comments by Exotic_Cheetah5918 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
2

Height is absolutely something almost all women care about. The rest of his comment is a bit over the top admittedly.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/26 08:39 PM
2

Hold the phone, since when is AOC not a Stacy?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/26 04:49 AM
3

The man should have said, “No you’re right. I’m way more attractive than you. Don’t know what I was thinking.”
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/26 04:47 AM
2

That’s a pretty silly argument. Let me apply that to men, and you can tell me if you think it holds merit. Man doesn’t want to be rejected. Man gets rejected anyway. That goes against the man’s agency.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/26 08:06 PM
4

That’s not what the word agency means.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/26 07:58 PM
-1

Perhaps they are simply following this advice as well then.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/26 07:58 PM
3

Bro, is this like your first job or something? It’s always been like this. When you work a public-facing job (like yours or retail or food service), you always get exposed to the most incompetent people. This just sounds like the stuff my coworkers and I would always vent to each other about, except we didn’t make it out to be some grand indictment of a generation. Honestly your examples aren’t too bad compared to some of the stuff I saw back when I was working fast food. If the customers can fi…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/26 07:50 PM
2

Allow me to follow the advice that gets spouted on here to its logical conclusion. We want the world to be a fairer place. However, we can’t control how negatively women view short men; we can only control our own thoughts and feelings. Therefore, we should body shame women more. That way things are fairer between the sexes without infringing on women’s autonomy.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/26 07:45 PM
1

Damn, there are obese, jobless, recluse guys who get more matches on dating apps than I did when I was single.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/26 02:25 PM
3

In the same way a starving person presented with some food “chooses” if they want to eat it. Sure, a man could turn down a woman, but then he might have to wait another decade for a chance.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/26 02:22 PM
1

If you’re ever unsure, you can always post “shower thoughts” in the daily thread. Won’t get as much traction, but you can just talk about whatever there.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/26 02:40 PM
4

I don’t share anything in common with the exception you know other than being kind of soft-spoken. But I guess it’s good that you acknowledge exceptions to your belief can exist. My kindness and respect are not self-ascribed qualities; virtually every person I’ve met has observed this about me. One even made a quip about wanting to see what I would look like if I actually got angry at someone.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/26 04:00 PM
5

I 100% disagree, but I don’t know what to say other than this is simply not true. My lived experience contradicts this. When I was single, I was kind and respectful to every woman, regardless of appearance. I would give any woman a chance, and without fail, none expressed any interest in me. Not the singe mothers, not the ones who were overweight, none of the ones that are “less desirable” had any interest in me either.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/26 02:34 PM
–

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/19350760/
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/26 07:28 PM
–

Some would; many wouldn’t. I’m curious how many introverted women you’ve spoken to. Because I used to frequent online communities for social anxiety (which is something I used to struggle with a lot), and whenever dating came up, women there would primarily say they wanted a more outgoing man especially since these types of men would be more likely to initiate with them.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/26 05:32 PM
–

Yes, on that we agree. And one of the things that makes dating unfair is that women are more likely to find murderers attractive than a shy guy who keeps to himself.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/26 04:27 PM
–

Yet there don’t seem to be a comparable amount of mentally unwell women who desire shy/weak men. The point isn’t that being a psychopath makes you universally appealing to women; it’s just that it’s more desirable than being shy.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/26 02:56 PM
–

Since when do weak and shy women struggle to find partners? Your comparison only works if criminal women find romantic success while weak/shy women don’t.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/26 02:52 PM
–

That’s okay, I’m not expecting advice from people on here. I just mean that when I post to subs about personal appearance, no one ever has anything they can really pinpoint that I’m doing wrong, or they send mixed signals. It just seems to imply that I’ve more or less maximized my potential, just that I don’t have much potential.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/26 09:44 PM
–

I’ve always been unattractive. My girlfriend is the only woman who has ever expressed interest in me, and that didn’t happen until I was 26. People always say that maybe I missed signals or something, but it was pretty obvious to me when my girlfriend was interested in me. So it just feels bad that I’m this universally undesirable.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/26 09:43 PM
–

You say this like there aren’t countless women in relationships who feel unattractive too.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/26 04:06 PM
–

I did attract my one, and I couldn’t be happier with her. It just eats away at me that I’m so unattractive, and I wish I could change that.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/26 03:51 PM
–

lol I didn’t say I wasn’t going to do that. In fact, I initially said I recently started doing it. I only got snippy because you implied I haven’t been trying anything yet, which is false.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/26 03:24 PM
–

Oh, you’re one of those people who think fitness is the only way to improve your appearance. Got it.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/26 03:15 PM
–

I’m still unconvinced that physical fitness will have much of a noticeable impact on my attractiveness to women. But anyway, I’ve just started, so my numbers are pathetic still. Might also try to find a personal trainer so that I can have a better structure than the last time I gave a serious effort to my fitness.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/26 03:13 PM
–

Based. We need to bring back shaming people with high n counts.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/26 03:09 PM
–

Man, no one can ever give me much meaningful, actionable advice on how to improve my appearance. I really think I have hit the ceiling for soft “looksmaxing”. Which is pretty depressing when apparently even my best is undesirable to 99% of women.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/26 03:04 PM
–

Here’s a different perspective on why it made me feel worse when I was single: It’s a reminder of what I felt like I would never have. I didn’t want to think about romance. It just made me feel like I was missing out on some blissful human experience that I was too ugly and undesirable to achieve. I genuinely preferred porn *because* it was unrealistic. Making sex and women feel like fiction was a lot easier to use as a coping mechanism.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/26 08:37 PM
1

Not irl. The problem, as is often the case, comes down to online discourse. It’s fairly common when a man mentions online that he can’t find a girlfriend for the immediate reaction to be people jumping to conclusions about his misogyny or something.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/26 08:07 PM
1

I don’t personally believe in psychics, but you’re entitled to believe whatever you want. Persona games are really fun, but they’re unfortunately huge commitments. They’re like 100+ hr JRPGS meant for turbo-nerds, but if you can somehow find the time they’re some of the most fun games of their genre imo. Persona 5 is probably the most accessible, but if all else fails, they have had some anime/movie adaptations that you could watch.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/26 03:27 AM
1

Why does she look like Skylar White let herself go a bit, yo?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/26 03:14 AM
1

All that makes me think is that I want to play a Persona game again.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/26 03:10 AM
1

I wouldn’t say it made me more frustrated when I tried it, but I don’t think it really filled the void either. It was kind of a neutral experience overall.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/26 03:07 AM
1

I did maximize my looks (within reason), and realized my potential was only like a 5/10. So I’m still bitter about attractiveness standards because nothing I could do was ever good enough.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/26 03:28 PM
2

lol I feel like it’s the other way for me. I’ve got the body of a femboy but I want to be a man.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/26 03:37 PM
3

The thread about androphilia was eye-opening to me. I’ve finally figured out why I’m unappealing to women. I’m not necessarily ugly; I just don’t possess any masculine features. I’m short, can’t grow a beard, have a higher pitched voice, and my penis definitely isn’t that impressive either. I’m probably more appealing to lesbians than I am to straight women.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/26 03:32 PM
–

Couldn’t be me. I sound like a nasal dork.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/26 03:26 PM
–

Some men: never experience an iota of attraction from women. Same men: start believing that women don’t even find men attractive. Normies for some reason: surprised Pikachu I don’t understand why people are shocked that we’re getting to this point. It’s a pretty nice cope for when you’re in the bottom rung of society; I kind of wish I were delusional enough to buy into it too.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/26 12:53 AM
–

I hate being ugly. Some nights like tonight I can’t even sleep because I can’t stop dwelling on the pain of being undesirable.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/26 06:19 AM
10

Idk, a lot of incels are genuinely hilarious. Some of the only times I’ve laughed on Reddit have been while I was browsing incel hubs. Maybe OP isn’t particularly funny (I wouldn’t know), but a person can be really funny and still be an incel for sure.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/26 06:13 AM
1

Did you two meet before or after you started working out?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/26 05:58 PM
1

Somewhat toned. I’m not too interested in men who just lost weight because I’m already a healthy weight so there’s nothing for me to improve on there.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/26 04:04 PM
1

Are there any short men here who got fit? Did it make you less invisible to women? I get the impression that it really only makes you more attractive to gay dudes, so it feels like way more effort than it’s worth.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/26 03:29 PM
1

It can certainly be frustrating, especially when all you’re searching for is a woman who would give you a chance to love her. Still, we are called to a higher path. Listen to the words of our savior and focus first on your own sins. Pray for these women, and then remember your own immeasurable sins that God forgives, so you may find it in your heart to forgive them as well.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/26 05:38 AM
2

I don’t feel a call to monasticism specifically, but my faith has helped me through this a decent bit.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/26 05:14 PM
1

I think we’re saying the same thing in different ways. I want to make peace with it, but I don’t know how.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/26 02:28 PM
3

I kind of already am. I’m trying to fit into the cute, academic nerd niche. The problem is that I’m not cute.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/26 02:11 PM
0

I don’t know how to accept being universally physically unattractive to women. I think the only solution is letting go, but I just can’t for some reason. It just continues to eat at me day after day.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/26 01:42 PM
2

I think it’s more so that men who are into outdoorsy things are probably more likely to have romantic success. The ones who aren’t are more likely to be single.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/26 06:56 PM
3

Ah, socal is a weird place, so I guess I’m not too surprised. Depending on where you live, average men might not even be able to afford living there, and there’s probably a lot of competition for the rich dudes who are thriving there. But that’s assuming you live in like LA or something lol. Anyway, single men are not going to be gravitating to the outdoorsy kinds of things you’re going to. The stuff you mentioned in the third paragraph is more likely where you’d find single men. Do what makes y…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/26 05:47 PM
12

I don’t dispute your second paragraph at all. Everyone is accountable for their reactions, no matter how awful the situation is. I’m only bringing it up because the proof is right in our faces how much more damaging men’s dating issues are. Women who have dating struggles are not by and large not at the point where the pain is so severe they would rather die, whereas this can be the case for a lot of men. I don’t think men and women are fundamentally different, so the only thing I can think of t…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/26 05:25 PM
–

Proud of you 👏
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/26 05:10 PM
–

https://youtube.com/shorts/4YCCQe21kVs?si=ijLyrTcXZGmxyeiH These types of opinions always make me so annoyed. This woman should join this subreddit; her opinion would be right at home here.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/26 05:02 PM
–

Give a like to a guy whose height is below 5’7 and then I’ll be happy.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/26 05:01 PM
24

While those issues you mentioned are awful, men can experience most of those too (except for pregnancy risk). And the feeling of “I can’t get a human being to speak to me” is such a dehumanizing, mentally damaging experience that I don’t think should be discounted. If you wonder why there are so many deranged men around, when they uniquely have to deal with that issue and women don’t, I think it speaks for itself how much more damaging men’s mental health issues usually are.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/26 05:00 PM
-1

It’s not a compliment, but at least you don’t ever need to contemplate what it would feel like to be completely undesirable.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/26 04:52 PM
9

lol where the hell do you live where this is an issue? Every time I go out, the event is crawling with single men. Maybe you should go to more events that cater to male audiences. I also get annoyed when the implied message between the lines is that single men only struggle because they don’t put themselves out there. Loads of involuntarily single men are going out to social events all the time, only to get ignored constantly. I was definitely not hiding indoors; the issue was just that nobody w…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/26 04:49 PM
1

Exactly, even the unattractive women still get attention, just less of it. Women never have to experience what it’s like being completely undesirable to the opposite sex. That’s something that really fucks with your self esteem. Side note: I wish all men had to do to become attractive was as easy as losing weight. There’s pretty much nothing you can do if you’re too short.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/05/26 10:58 PM
3

That reinforces my point. Women can be considered attractive no matter what they look like. I unironically think beauty standards for men are harsher than they are for women.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/05/26 10:33 PM
1

Where the hell are all these women who claim no men are attracted to them? Even the tall, overweight women I meet tend to have boyfriends. Meanwhile most guys who don’t do a good job of meeting masculinity expectations are hopelessly single.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/05/26 10:15 PM
0

Flair checks out.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/05/26 10:07 PM
1

Hmm, maybe men under 5’6 should move to these countries then. Like they should get a passport, bro.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/05/26 07:52 AM
2

I feel like humanity has forgotten how to just have conversations or something. You’d be surprised how much any two given people can relate on. So no, I don’t think two people have to have that much in common to have a successful relationship. The only things I think are necessary are shared fundamental beliefs. Everything else is extra.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/26 12:06 PM
–

I kind of agree with this. I finally got a girlfriend when I was nearly 27, but it was more of a fluke than anything. I didn’t suddenly gain some mastery that was absent for most of my life. If our relationship were to end, I probably wouldn’t be able to find another woman willing to date me.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/26 12:01 PM
–

But there are plenty of relationships with either dead bedrooms or lackluster sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/26 11:59 AM
–

Yikes, that’s disgusting. I hope he’s not with her anymore. At least my girlfriend isn’t attracted physically to anyone.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/26 03:14 PM
–

Yeah, that’s my life lol. I’m basically the irl Billy Beta or whatever.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/26 02:53 PM
–

In many ways I have. I really do cherish the intimacy we have, even if it’s usually non-sexual. But I still have these days where it hurts. What complicates things is that I was kind of blackpilled before I met her, thinking I’d never be sexually attractive to anyone, so the relationship kind of reinforces that mindset in a way.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/26 02:52 PM
–

Yeah, I’m aware it’s temporary. I just feel like I shouldn’t have developed that crush in the first place.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/26 02:49 PM
–

I think it’s just realistic. I didn’t find even one woman who liked me until I was nearly 27. And she’s definitely an exception.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/26 01:44 PM
–

I don’t think I’d be able to find anyone else anyway.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/26 01:38 PM
–

No, and I wouldn’t want an open relationship either. Besides, I struggled for 27 years to find even one woman who liked me. I wouldn’t be able to find other sexual partners even if I wanted it.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/26 01:35 PM
–

Sometimes I think about the fact that since my girlfriend is asexual, I won’t ever be sexually desired by a woman, and that hits hard. It feels like I’m not a real adult human that experiences adult human interactions.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/26 01:24 PM
–

Yes, I feel bad for being attracted to someone else while having a partner.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/26 12:12 PM
–

I noticed that I wanted to be around her and impress her, which made me realize that there was probably something more than I should be feeling. I kind of overcompensated for this by practically trying to ignore her, so hopefully she didn’t think I was an asshole lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/26 05:00 AM
–

Luckily, I met her at a conference and will probably never see her again, so it will be easy to forget about her and move on. Just wish I knew how other people in relationships avoided catching feelings in the first place.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/26 04:37 AM
1

Well, some idiots in the manosphere might say that lmao. But yes, I agree that it would be bad advice.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/26 04:21 AM
–

Kind of upset with myself for catching feelings for a woman. It’s the first time this has happened to me while in a relationship. I understand a lot of people say it’s fine as long as you can ignore it and not act on it, which is easy enough for me, but it still feels bad. Like, I’d probably be pretty upset to hear if my girlfriend caught feelings for a guy, even if she didn’t act on them.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/26 03:34 AM
3

Fully agree with this. It’s why I think the advice for lonely men to work on their friendships can be a little misguided. Having more friends doesn’t help that much if the root cause of the pain is being romantically undesirable.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/26 03:15 AM
2

You know the relationship is getting serious when you graduate from “baby” to “honey.”
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/26 12:37 AM
1

Sure, and that’s fine if the guy is just looking for more friends. But that’s not really the topic I was discussing.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/26 07:56 PM
1

5’7 is short by male standards, which is relevant. Almost every woman wants a man taller than she is, and a lot of women want the man to be a few inches taller. But as another commenter mentioned, it’s a spectrum. It’s going to get progressively harder the further below 5’7 a man is. He dated before he knew I existed Then he’s probably not that unattractive. He has met other women before who find him attractive. When I’m discussing “unattractive” men, I mean men who have never met anyone of the …
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/26 07:54 PM
1

I agree potentially with social skills. This is the closest I get to “blue pill” in that I think having a wide social net is one of the few things that can give an incel a shot. But learning “rizz” or whatever is just gonna at best give undesirable guys false hope, and at worst is gonna lead to them making fools of themselves.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/26 05:51 PM
4

5’10 is not short. It’s in fact above average in the U.S., and most other countries. I’d say if you’re around 5’7 or below, you’re not going to get much out of flirting, with my statement being more true the shorter you are.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/26 05:37 PM
3

Shortness is going to vary based on country. But generally speaking, I’d say “short” by western standards starts at around 5’7 or below, with difficulty increasing the shorter the man is. Unattractive means unattractive to the majority of women. Are you the only one who has ever found your partner attractive? If not, then he’s probably not unattractive.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/26 05:35 PM
2

I agree with you insofar as I don’t think there’s much other option than learning to be content (I’m not sure if happiness is really possible) with being unwanted. But I just think a person born with one leg learning to cope with that is very different from someone choosing to be happy with, I don’t know, a life of farming or something. The latter is a choice, the first isn’t really a choice. I’m also not very convinced of how possible it is to really learn to accept a life without love, but tha…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/26 05:21 PM
2

So you want to date your little brother?🤨
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/26 05:13 PM
5

This sub seems to be going through another phase of unironically believing in game and flirting being important. So let me remind you all that if you’re short/unattractive then it literally doesn’t matter. The second you try to escalate tension, you’ll be hit with some variant of “you’re like a little brother to me.”
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/26 04:41 PM
3

The day I knew it was over for me was when I used cat pics on dating apps and still didn’t get any matches. If the cat pics don’t work, nothing will lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/26 04:36 PM
3

My gf and I are waiting til marriage, so neither of us is moving on.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/26 04:33 PM
2

Is one really choosing to be happy with being alone if there was no other option? I hate the word “coping” because of how overused it’s become, but it does sound a lot more like that than a choice.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/26 04:04 PM
2

Lurk more. This has been the canned advice for so long that it became a meme. You’ll see this in practically any sub about dating.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/26 03:33 PM
8

Dudes are unhappier being single than women are. I’ve said this multiple times before, but I think there’s a pretty understandable cause for this. I ultimately think it comes down to validation. For the most part, women don’t have to worry about the insecurity of wondering if they’re undesirable. If anything, most women struggle with experiencing too much desire from crappy men or desire that’s superficial. But for a lot of men, it’s hard to find a single person who has any interest in you whats…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/26 04:02 PM
19

I don’t know why it’s so hard for some people to realize that some of us are simply not “that guy” for any woman.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/26 02:08 PM
2

This isn’t just about me. I got lucky, but other men my height might not get so lucky. Again, in practice it’s a lot fewer than half of all women who are options due to the reasons I outlined. And I can and will complain about the consequence that I spent the first 27 years of my life unable to find anyone who liked me, which did a lot of irreversible damage to my self esteem.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/26 07:57 PM
1

Yeah, I’m aware exceptions exist. My girlfriend doesn’t care about the fact that we’re the same height either. But it’s indisputable that even total indifference to height is quite rare among women (contrary to what some people say here, most men care significantly less about height). Also, I don’t think a man has to be a dwarf for this to be an issue. I’ll take my situation as an example. I’m 5’5 in the U.S. This is around the average height of women in America, which effectively excluded almos…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/26 07:38 PM
2

It could be worse. While 6’ is the most common preference, it’s not necessarily a dealbreaker to be below that height for a lot of women. The hard part is the fact that almost every woman does have a dealbreaker height threshold. For some it might be 6’, for others it might be 5’9, and maybe some women even are willing to go for 5’7. But there is almost always a cutoff, which sucks if you fall below that.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/26 04:14 PM
2

I’m aware. That’s not really what my comment is about though.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/26 03:52 PM
3

I don’t think height is the only factor women care about physically, but it sure seems to be the most universal one (and one of the biggest dealbreakers for a lot of women). For pretty much every other attribute, there are some women who like it and some who don’t. Some women are into bearded men, some are into clean-shaven. Some women are into lean dudes, some are into bigger guys. Etc. But almost every woman wants a man to be taller than her (not necessarily 6 ft+, but still taller than her). …
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/26 03:41 PM
3

You’re welcome to feel that way, but that sort of mentality bothers me. And my girlfriend isn’t fond of it either. I’m hers and she’s mine, and we wouldn’t want it any other way.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/26 03:37 PM
–

That’s definitely a factor for me.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/26 02:25 PM
1

I do think it’s a lot easier for women to socialize on average. They can kind of just go outside and do their normal routine and people will go out of their way to make conversation with them. Sure, the downside is a lot of creeps, but there are plenty of genuine, nice people that women get to befriend with very little effort.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/26 04:17 AM
1

🤨
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/26 04:13 AM
1

Yeah, I definitely have low self esteem. My girlfriend tries to assure me that I’m masculine, but it’s hard for me to believe her.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/26 04:12 AM
2

I don’t think academic success is really gonna get most guys a second look. I may not have gone to an Ivy League, but I went to a pretty good school and I’m working on a PhD in mathematics. If anything, it’s been a woman repellant.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/26 04:09 AM
2

I think I remember that user. I haven’t been spending as much time on this sub as I used to (thankfully), but the name rings a bell. I don’t think I knew he had a girlfriend though. Anyway, I don’t know why I’d break up with her. It’s not like I’m missing out on anything since I don’t have other options anyway, and more importantly I’m highly attached to my girlfriend. I just wish I weren’t unattractive, I guess.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/26 04:06 AM
2

I hate that I’m so desperate for validation about being attractive. I love my girlfriend and don’t want anyone other than her, but I’m weirdly desperate for someone to think I’m handsome. I think I’ve built up a weird complex about it since I was unwanted for the first 27 years of my life. I don’t know how to get past this and just be content even if my girlfriend is the only woman in the world who thinks I’m remotely cute.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/26 01:59 AM
–

I feel like one of the fundamental differences between men and women is that most men would love to know every horny thought someone of the opposite sex has had about them, while most women would be horrified to have access to that information. Correct me if I’m wrong. Even if a creepy granny or something had sexual thoughts about me, I’d still kind of feel satisfied to know I could make someone feel that way.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/26 02:26 AM
1

Okay, I think I have a better insight into your mindset now. It sounds like you might be feeling kind of jaded, and I’m sorry to hear that. I will just say that some of us don’t work that way. I’m not objectively attractive either, but I’m the best man in the world to my girlfriend. And maybe there are objectively hotter women out there, but to me my girlfriend is the best without question. I wouldn’t want a relationship without this kind of dynamic, and I think it’d totally reasonable to expect…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/26 03:15 PM
1

You can’t seriously believe that. If your partner doesn’t find you to be the most attractive person to them, then why the hell even be together? Would you seriously be happy in a relationship if your partner said something like “yeah you’re objectively a 3/10 at best, but I’m kind of nice to you, so you should put up with some things about our relationship that make you uncomfortable.” I implore you to swap the genders in the situation and tell me if you’d earnestly give that same advice.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/26 06:24 AM
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I feel like more blackpilled dudes should find religion. That’s what worked for me. Don’t hate women for not giving us a chance; hate the system of superficial casual sex that ties our values to things over which we have no control. It’s so much better going to a place where everyone else realizes that kind of lifestyle of casual sex only leads to pain. You can reject the world without turning into some serial killer. Reject the world by turning to something better.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/26 06:12 AM
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That’s sweet.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/26 02:13 AM
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Yeah, that’s fair. I feel like most people struggle to force interest in other people’s lives unless it’s already something that interests them. I think I’ve just developed a superpower for it since most people’s lives bore me.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/26 02:07 AM
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Yeah, I like when she talks about her interests too. I think I just need to be more vocal that it makes me feel appreciated when it’s reciprocated.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/26 12:37 AM
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I agree. But you don’t have experience dating from a man’s perspective. Unless you’re trans, in which case I apologize.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/26 11:52 PM
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Do your guys’ girlfriends ever let you ramble about the video games you play? Mine tried to be interested at first, but she eventually just stopped bothering. I don’t necessarily blame her; I’m into games most people would consider dull. I just wish I had more people to talk to irl about Crusaders Kings or whatever my special interest at the time is lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/26 11:47 PM
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I feel like I haven’t heard either of those names in like five years. They’re still relevant culturally?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/26 11:43 PM
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I agree that we have much less insight into what women want or how dating works for you. But by the same token, wouldn’t you also have no idea what dating is like for men?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/26 11:42 PM
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I quit dating apps long before that became a feature, but I’d never do that. My date would probably just be more interested in the other guy tbh, and I’m not really interested in doing that kind of emotional self-harm.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/26 11:41 PM
1

I assume there’s hardly any women in your area as well? That’s a good sign that you’re basically in math
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/26 11:28 PM
1

I’m in geometric topology. And that’s a good question. I’d argue yes, but I’d also consider theoretical physics to be pure math lol. I mean, Ed Witten has a Fields Medal, which is evidence in my mind that he’s basically a mathematician. Theoretical Comp Sci can get to a similar level of blurring the lines from what I’ve seen.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/26 11:13 PM
2

lol “fun” is definitely a good way to describe the Secret History. Can’t wait to hear about how Justinian and Theodora were secretly demons. If the Illuminati were around back then, I’m sure they’d be running that too.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/26 09:58 PM
3

God selecting all the traits to repel women when crafting me <image>
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/26 09:45 PM
0

Not yet! Math is my day job, and it sadly doesn’t leave me nearly as much time to dedicate to my other interests. But I’m currently going through some of the primary sources. Reading Psellus at the moment and hoping to get to Anna Komnene next.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/26 09:39 PM
3

The type of smut probably matters a lot. Some kinks seem to attract primarily men; others seem to only cater toward women. That said, I’ve definitely also been in smut circles that are sausage fests.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/26 09:11 PM
1

I feel you, dude. I’m fascinated by Byzantine history and pure mathematics. I have consigned myself to the understanding that encountering women will be a rare occasion for me.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/26 09:08 PM
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I mean, it seems to do a pretty good job of concealing the acne in my opinion. There are loads of other videos like this as well.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/12/25 01:08 PM
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Q4W: I heard someone say you can’t cover up acne with makeup, and I feel like I’m being gaslit to hell and back. Are videos like this just fake then: https://youtube.com/shorts/17XcUX76kDE?si=kTuoFR3xNoBeethf Or is this just a skill issue for whoever wrote that? Is it one of those things that’s possible but only if you have light acne? I’m losing my mind here. I’m genuinely trying to just learn because I’m quite confused now.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/12/25 12:59 PM
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Lmfao are you being serious right now?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/12/25 06:42 AM
2

I think the end game is just determining if it’s worth it to get in good shape to become more attractive lol. It’s a lot of effort to put into, so I’m not gonna bother unless it’s actually an attractive trait to be muscular. But there’s a lot of mixed signals about whether it’s attractive or not, which makes it hard to know if it’s the right call to spend all that time in the gym and dieting.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/12/25 06:40 AM
2

A lot of women love skinny guys I never encounter women like this in person or online. I’ve seen women who like lanky guys (skinny + tall), but I don’t really see much interest for skinny guys who are average or, God forbid, short.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/12/25 06:34 AM
1

Sorry you got downvoted for trying to help. I do agree, but that was kind of my point: becoming more confident in other areas didn’t help my self image. The only thing that did help somewhat was becoming desirable to some person.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/12/25 05:01 PM
1

I think some women simply cannot fathom that men are genuinely attracted to most women. So whenever this comes up, they assume things like how the men are just desperate and don’t care about anything other than using her body. No, that’s not how it works, and it’s not a bad thing that more men find average women to be desirable enough to start a relationship with.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/12/25 04:57 PM
1

Clearly you’re schismatics /s Also didn’t know you came from an Orthodox background. That’s pretty cool. Rare to meet other Orthodox “out in the wild” so to speak.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/12/25 04:48 PM
2

My family also celebrated Christmas on the 25th, but we do get to celebrate Easter twice. My Greek grandmother referred to the holidays as Easter and “American” Easter lol (despite the fact that Westerners across the world celebrate Easter on that day).
/r/PurplePillDebate24/12/25 04:46 PM
1

The men in my family tend to not lose their hair. It’s like the one and only good genetic feature I have. We’ll see if it starts paying dividends once I’m 40.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/12/25 04:36 PM
2

My quest to be the first American who isn’t ignorant of geography pays off.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/12/25 04:34 PM
2

That’s weirdly excessive behavior if the guy just wanted her to have fun or whatever. Unless it’s a special occasion or I suddenly get rich, I don’t think I’d pay for two drinks for a dude.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/12/25 04:24 PM
1

Are you Georgian?
/r/PurplePillDebate24/12/25 04:21 PM
7

Goomba fallacy: the post
/r/PurplePillDebate24/12/25 04:18 PM
4

I appreciate that you are trying to help, but I’m a little confused by your message. The first two sentences don’t really connect to your theme of confidence. Or maybe I’m missing something, but I don’t see how dating myself would improve confidence. As for the remainder of the suggestions, they run into the same problem I outlined earlier. Improving my self-image in other areas never really helped me much to feel more desirable. The only thing that really changes that is actually being desirabl…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/12/25 02:29 PM
6

What is there to “empathize” with? Yikes, good luck with that attitude. I’m sure it’ll take you far in life. Enjoy your black-and-white thinking, but I try to at least see where the other side is coming from. That man becomes yet another nameless faceless man in the stack of everyone who thinks like him Here’s my argument: that man is going to be another nameless, faceless man in the stack of everyone who bothers to only swipe on women they’re compatible with as well. It makes no difference to h…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/12/25 06:34 AM
8

Well, you can be empathetic or not, but I at least wanted to explain where this behavior comes from. I can tell you’re either incapable or disinterested in trying to humanize the other side, so I won’t bother further. I disagree with your argument that “suicide swiping” makes things worse at the individual level. The women a man swipes on don’t know he’s swiping on every single profile. Some men definitely do give away that they’re desperate for anyone to give them attention, but it’s definitely…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/12/25 06:14 AM
7

I think the part I disagree with is how much improving self perception in one area can help in a different area of self worth. Let me overshare about myself personally: I’m working on a PhD in mathematics, I regularly volunteer to help persons with disabilities take care of their everyday tasks, I’ve been learning Greek in my free time, I have expanded my social circle through my church and work, and I have attended therapy. Those pretty much cover all the areas of self help you mentioned. Despi…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/12/25 06:09 AM
6

Your second paragraph touches on something I’ve been thinking about a lot lately. Let me explain why men value bad matches over no matches in a way that might (hopefully) make a bit more sense. Ultimately, it’s actually pretty simple. It comes down to validation. Part of the reason that makes men so desperate in dating is because most of us don’t receive any external validation that we are attractive or valuable. So a lot of the time, men might not even really be looking for a relationship or se…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/12/25 06:03 AM
9

That dating advice I agree with—going out and making friends is a lot more helpful and likely to pay off. Even then though, we still can’t really be picky. The criterion you mentioned of “willing to date me” already filters out like 99.99% of women, so any extra filters just makes it so that we might never date anyone.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/12/25 05:57 AM
10

The biggest issue I encountered with the advice of being happy single is dealing with self image. You can get friends and community and all that, but if nobody wants to date you, then it’s hard to not feel like shit. And if you feel like shit because no one wants to date you, it makes you desperate to be wanted.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/12/25 05:53 AM
6

Let’s say you match Already doing better than the type of men this post is referring to. Doesn’t make a difference whether you filter a certain type of woman or not if they’re already filtering you out.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/12/25 05:49 AM
15

This is lame advice for men who are struggling. If you’re already getting rejected by everyone, narrowing your scope isn’t going to make any women less likely to reject you. I know because I tried both approaches when I was single and desperate, and neither made any difference.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/12/25 05:47 AM
10

Sure, but this is a sort of game theory dilemma with group dynamics at play. Let’s suppose the best course of action is for every man to only like a handful of women. That’s great in theory, but if other men have already poisoned the well by making it difficult to stand out, then it doesn’t really benefit an individual man to like fewer profiles. He already has to deal with the consequences, and his individual behavior doesn’t fix the problem.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/12/25 05:39 AM
0

I think part of the issue is that it’s just really hard to self-assess if one is unattractive or not. I mean, I guess we can pretty easily tell that we’re not above average. But the second you do start wondering “maybe I am ugly,” then people come out of the woodwork to tell you that you’re way too self-critical and you actually look totally fine. Based on my experience at least.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/12/25 05:30 AM
2

I’m aware, but thanks anyway!
/r/PurplePillDebate21/12/25 07:50 PM
2

Introverted men who are in those scenes still excel imo Nah, this is borderline just-world nonsense. Like, the idea you’re presenting seems to be that even if you’re not naturally a social butterfly, all you need to do to get laid and relationships is put yourself out there. As someone who put himself out there to fight his social anxiety for years and years, no this is not how it works. How it really works is more like the Smiths lyrics: “There’s a club if you’d like to go. […] So you go and st…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/12/25 02:51 AM
8

“Just dox yourself and let me impersonate you” lmao
/r/PurplePillDebate21/12/25 02:43 AM
1

Interesting. Can’t say I’ve really seen that myself.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/25 08:26 PM
2

I can and do, but I just wish there were more occasions to do so. It’s not really normalized to dress up that much anymore in my line of work, so I’d look pretty silly.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/25 04:57 PM
0

That’s the most offensive thing I’ve ever read on this subreddit. Misandry I can handle, but tie slander is a bridge too far.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/25 04:49 PM
2

I want to go back to the 50s. Now that I’ve ragebaited people into thinking this is about sexism or racism, the real reason is men’s fashion. I miss when you wouldn’t be caught dead leaving the house without a suit or at least a tie. I don’t get nearly enough excuses to dress up, and wearing a nice tie is one of the few things that makes me feel attractive.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/25 04:43 PM
2

Yeah, this subreddit attracts the worst of both sexes. I highly recommend taking a break from this place if/when it ever starts to color how you feel real people behave.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/25 04:37 PM
8

That’s a very uncharitable and unempathetic way to look at things, but okay.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/25 04:33 PM
9

No, I mean any women, and I’m not really in this situation anymore. I did find a girlfriend, but she is the only person who has ever expressed an interest in me. Many guys don’t get so lucky and never find anyone who would give them a chance.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/25 04:31 PM
10

It’s pretty easy to feel like women are not into men when you’re a man that no woman has ever wanted. You make it sound like this belief springs forth from some calculated tactic to dehumanize women, but while that is unfortunately a consequence, it’s not the source of this feeling. As someone who has felt this way, it’s more so a coping mechanism. It feels really shitty to feel so inferior that most men can experience attraction when you can’t. It’s a lot easier to believe that lots of other me…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/25 03:06 PM
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I don’t think it really can be fixed. Men have low standards because they would be alone if they didn’t, and generally it’s better to be with someone who doesn’t quite meet your standards than to be alone.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/25 05:25 PM
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I mean, I would consider it unequal. Women don’t have to work nearly as hard to find a partner; many don’t even consciously do work at all. But I agree that of course women can give advice. I’m not really speaking against that here.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/25 05:06 PM
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sit in the middle of a mall with a sign that says “need girlfriend” Was not expecting a Chris Chan reference here of all places. My day is off to a horrible start already.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/25 04:09 PM
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The running assumption through most of your responses is that dating a shy man is some awful thing that would make the woman’s life far worse. Is that really true, or is it possible that some women might have a pleasantly fine time with introverted men? Obviously not all introverted men are good options, but I think if more women took the time to evaluate their standards, it could make their lives better off too, especially if they’ve been having bad luck with the types of men they usually date.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/25 04:06 PM
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They seldom date shy men though, which is what the OOP was about.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/25 04:01 PM
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Agreed that it’s not hypocritical. But it does point out how much easier it is for women to date and find love.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/25 03:53 PM
2

Proud of you
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/25 08:14 PM
1

If you don’t have the humility to accept that a mathematician might know more about logic than you, then I believe there are greater issues than just logic at hand. Godspeed.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/25 03:39 PM
0

I’m not really interested in what your point is. I just saw this as a teachable moment, so I hope you walk away from this a little better educated about logic. Best wishes, friend.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/25 03:32 PM
1

I don’t have too much of an interest in this conversation overall, but as a mathematician, I needed to jump in to correct some logical issues at play here. First, you’re technically right that you weren’t using circular reasoning. However, you are committing the fallacy of the converse. A simple example to show that this line of reasoning is not often correct is the following: If it is raining, then it is cloudy out. Therefore, if it is cloudy, then it must be raining. This is of course false. S…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/25 03:28 PM
8

<image>
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/25 06:45 AM
1

I’m actually genuinely unsure if looking like Papa Smurf is a compliment or not lmao.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/25 03:07 AM
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Damn, you went full “mask off” lol. Respect for the honesty, I suppose. But it’s hard to respect that opinion.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/25 05:34 AM
1

Both kinds of men definitely exist, and I suspect there may be more of the latter type of men than you realize. I spent a lot of time in online circles where the men would gladly try to date any woman who finally gave them a chance, but they simply could not attract anyone for even a first date. I’d even say I was one of those types. My current girlfriend is the first and only woman who ever showed any interest in me, so I was determined to try to make things work with her. I might have been alo…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/25 05:33 AM
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I kind of want to know how pervasive it is for women to think of short men like children, but I’m almost too afraid to ask tbh.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/25 12:31 AM
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This does seem to be generally true. I think it’s a little harder in math since it’s still pretty male-dominated and there’s not many chances for interaction with academics in other fields as a mathematician. But even despite this, I’ve noticed a lot of mathematics professors still find a way to marry other professors.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/12/25 03:47 PM
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I think academic jobs require the most amount of effort relative to the pay and social clout you receive. The pay and the public opinion are decent, but I could’ve worked half as hard to become an actuary and made 10 times more money (at the low cost of selling my soul to Satan lol). Anyway, to make this relevant to the sub, I think this impacts dating too. The only women who are into professors are their students 🤢. No adult woman I’ve ever heard of really sees this profession as a bonus point …
/r/PurplePillDebate14/12/25 02:36 PM
3

I think that kink is called vore. It’s one of those things you usually only ever see online. I am not very fond of the fact that I know about this lmao.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/12/25 02:21 PM
19

You’re lumping together different kinds of men who say that though. Sure, some men say they’ll take any woman just because they want to fuck. However, a lot of men who are desperately lonely mean that they would be willing to try to date any woman. This isn’t because “any hole will do,” as you crudely put it. Rather, it’s because these men have been found inadequate due to their looks their whole lives, and they have come to understand that there are more important things for a relationship. I f…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/12/25 02:18 PM
1

If the ratio isn’t as skewed on Hinge, then why do male users still experience just as much rejection. I don’t know the stats for Hinge off the top of my head, but I’m pretty sure women are about as selective on Hinge as they are on Tinder. I could be wrong though.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/25 05:11 AM
1

That’s enlightening, so thank you for sharing. You’re from the south, right? I feel like family pressure to avoid dating apps might be specific to that cultural arena. I’ve gotten the impression that in the northeast it’s much more socially acceptable, and people act like every young person uses the apps (which isn’t true, but it seems to be the perception).
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/25 05:08 AM
2

People here always talk about how men have it harder on dating apps because they outnumber women by so much. But people hardly talk about why that’s the case. The only answer people ever give is that these apps are “hook-up apps” and women are less interested in that. But that doesn’t really explain why even the apps that are more marketed as being for relationships (I think Hinge used to be like this) still have the same disparity in male vs. female users. It seems like men want to date women m…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/25 12:52 AM
3

Think… Think… brain blast!
/r/PurplePillDebate11/12/25 01:55 PM
3

I feel like I’m one of the only guys in a relationship who is still black-pilled.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/12/25 01:49 PM
2

That was basically me 🙃. My mom is super short, while my dad is tall. Guess whose genes I inherited…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/12/25 05:06 AM
5

Okay, I am being persuaded more and more that location matters a significant amount for dating dynamics, even within the U.S. I’m currently visiting family near Phoenix for the holidays, and every couple I see is some 5’0 Latina with a white guy a foot taller than her. That explains why I was so blackpilled when I lived with them. But in Oregon where I live now, it’s not quite this bad, and I even see a decent amount of couples of the same height.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/12/25 03:35 AM
1

Ah, that makes sense lol. Reminds me, when I first turned 21 and went to a bar for the first time, the bouncer straight up could not believe I was 21 to the point that he asked for like 3 different forms of ID before he begrudgingly let me in xD. I somehow looked even younger back then.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/25 06:32 AM
1

Maybe some of those guys are your age but look like they’re under 21. They might be going through the same struggle as me lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/25 06:18 AM
1

I’m pretty optimistic that we can make it work because I don’t really have any sense of what I’m missing out on. I wasn’t having sex before I met her either, so nothing has really changed lol. I’ve never been sexually desirable, so there’s little risk of temptation either. Even if someone did try to get me to cheat, I love my girlfriend enough to realize it would be stupid to throw this all away. But I appreciate your concern, and I wouldn’t call you names for this. I respectfully disagree is al…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/25 06:03 AM
1

Do you happen to be short as well? That along with a baby face, soft voice, and lack of facial hair seem to have doomed me.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/25 04:31 AM
2

It’s definitely hard for me, but I’d be a fool to throw away the only woman who’s shown me love.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/25 04:30 AM
2

I’m 28 years old, yet I still look like I’m 18 to most people, and it’s awful. On first inspection, people always think it’s some blessing. It probably would be if I were a woman, but as a man it’s pretty shit. You don’t get the respect of being older, you look like a powerless kid, you’re not going to be attractive to women your age because they think you’re younger, and you’re not attractive to younger women once they realize you’re actually a decade older than they are. I would give anything …
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/25 03:21 AM
3

She loves me and wants to spend the rest of her life with me. I like my friends and all, but my girlfriend cherishes me and finds other ways to make me feel special to her. Plus, she does still desire me, which helps my self-esteem a lot.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/25 02:59 AM
2

You’re good haha. It’s not a super common situation, and I can see how it would sound funny out of context.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/25 12:02 AM
3

lol no, she can’t have sex due to vaginismus and is also squeamish about oral sex. So we will have a mostly sexless relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/25 11:14 PM
6

I’m pretty blackpilled still despite being in a relationship (although my experience might be a bit unusual because I won’t be able to have sex with my girlfriend). The fact that she’s the only one to have ever taken an interest in me kind of supports my fatalistic beliefs about dating. I recognize that she’s an exception, and it makes me cherish her all the more for desiring me when no other women would.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/25 09:32 PM
1

Thanks for being reasonable unlike some of these other crazy responses 😂. I think the girl knows hitting on me would be problematic too, because she does need the tutoring, and it would throw that into jeopardy.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/25 09:11 PM
1

She was a little bit insecure, but she knows I’d never do anything. I’ve given her no reason to doubt my loyalty, and likewise with her. If this girl were into me, it would actually be a problem, because I’d probably have to end tutoring with her (and I’m appreciating the extra money).
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/25 08:54 PM
1

I get way more women asking for tutoring and office hours than men. Something is amiss.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/25 08:52 PM
1

Bruh
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/25 08:51 PM
1

Lol I would never do anything. I might need to casually mention my girlfriend more though, to make sure I’m not leading her on.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/25 08:51 PM
1

My girlfriend and family are teasing me because this girl I’ve been tutoring has been scheduling several sessions with me. She’s trying to cram for exams, so imo I don’t think there’s much to it, but they seem to think she’s into me or something. I don’t know if I’m just being oblivious, but what do you all think? She also asked if I’ll be available for future terms, but I like to think I’m just a helpful tutor.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/25 08:16 PM
1

One complication that I didn’t mention last time I vented about my relationship is that I have this complex where I still feel really unattractive because the only woman I’ve ever attracted has very low libido. Kind of reinforces my views that I’m ugly. But it’s complicated because she does desire me, just in a way that’s different from how I experience things. I dunno, I think I’m just sexually frustrates and mumbling nonsense.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/25 05:04 AM
5

<image> Sorry for meme having like 3 pixels; I’m lazy.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/25 04:56 AM
5

Well, this is part of a larger debate about how much innate talent matters versus putting in effort, so for the sake of keeping the argument focused, I’ll grant that some people could never get to Broadway despite how hard they tried (which I frankly disagree with). The analogy still falls short because these are professions. I might be pretty upset that I can’t become a singer, maybe very upset if it was my dream in life, but life will move on and I can find some other passion. But romance is a…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/25 04:26 PM
19

Unironically this is part of the reason I’m glad I’m a Christian. At least here everyone’s sexuality is treated as sinful. It’s genuinely more consistent overall in that respect.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/25 03:48 PM
20

Yeah, I think it’s hard to not grow resentful over this. Most of the time, I don’t mind being the “have-not” because things like money, power, etc. ultimately aren’t that important, although they would be nice. But being loved or desired is so fundamental to the human experience that it’s hard to not grow bitter about the disparity between the sexes.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/25 03:42 PM
23

Can’t speak for other men, but I do always appreciate the rare moments that women admit that men have it harder on average in dating.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/25 03:36 PM
4

Because vocal skills are, well, a skill that can be trained. Most of the important factors that determine how hot a man is are predetermined. No amount of self-improvement is going to get a 5’6 guy the same treatment that a 6’2 guy receives.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/25 03:32 PM
–

Thanks. It’s really hard, but she’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me, so I don’t want to squander our relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/12/25 12:39 AM
–

Thanks. I think it’s why we’re meant to be together tbh. Most women weren’t willing to try to make things work with me either. I obviously don’t quite know what it’s like in my girlfriend’s shoes, but I can relate a little.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/12/25 12:22 AM
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We’re reaching levels of projection I never thought possible. I care immensely about her medical issues. We’ve talked extensively about how we want to treat her vaginismus for her own sake, not mine. I helped encourage her to see a gynecologist. For the record, we’ve also talked about her history to see if there’s any trauma. Her case is a little unusual because there isn’t some obvious source of trauma behind her feelings that either of us could identify. It’s possible that something is very de…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/12/25 12:21 AM
–

It is hard, but I believe love involves some sacrifice. We can be intimate in other ways at least.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/12/25 12:15 AM
–

I’m aware. It’s something that I’ve given a lot of thought. I’m venting about the situation, but I think I can live with it. I do love her, so I’m willing to fight for our relationship. I wouldn’t be having sex either way regardless, as she’s the only one who has ever taken an interest in me.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/11/25 11:50 PM
–

There’s more to love than just sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/11/25 11:18 PM
–

My girlfriend is mostly asexual, and I’m starting to worry if I’ll actually be able to live with that long-term. She also has pretty bad vaginismus, so I accepted that it’s likely we may never have penetrative sex. But she was also telling me the other day that she’s unsure if she’d actually be comfortable with oral either (we’re waiting until marriage). So I might not really be able to do much sexual stuff with her other than rubbing each other. Making matters even more complicated, I am strugg…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/11/25 11:00 PM
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<image> So true. Basically this.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/11/25 10:51 PM
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My girlfriend made it pretty obvious. She actually wanted to spend time with me, and even said I had a cute smile. The cute smile was such a freebie that I’d argue she more or less made the first move. I’d never heard a woman say that to me before, and most people in general don’t go out of their way to spend time with me.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/11/25 10:48 PM
2

Yeah, I read your previous comment. If this guy exists, then good for him. But I have not met him or any other short man with an experience anywhere near that, so I personally don’t believe he exists.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/11/25 03:55 PM
2

I’m in a relationship, so I don’t really have any need of dating apps anymore. But back when I was single, dating apps did nothing but harm my self esteem. They’re the place where all the incel rhetoric is true, more or less—the 80/20 rule, looks being the most important factor, women looking for 6’ and up men, etc. It’s a waste of time for a short guy to spend time fine-tuning photos on those apps when he’s going to be filtered out by most women over his height anyway.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/11/25 03:50 PM
3

I’ll believe it when I see it.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/11/25 03:41 PM
2

I’m confused, are you talking about me specifically or men who struggle in general? If it’s about me specifically, then I’ll say that I struggle with smiling for photos and generally look a bit more lively irl.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/11/25 07:32 AM
8

some on a chad level Lmfao I have literally never seen this, but sure. Anyway, I’m not speaking in black and white terms here. Of course some short men can still have sex or find relationships—I’m an example of a short man who has a girlfriend. However, there is a much lower ceiling for how desirable we can become, and most of us will struggle immensely to be attractive to anyone.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/11/25 06:43 AM
7

People often bring up that incels are nowhere near as ugly as they claim. However, incels are also disproportionately shorter than average, so this is actually pretty brutal if you think about it. In a way, it’s indirect confirmation that these men would look fine and do fine if it weren’t for the fact that they are below average height.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/11/25 06:21 AM
2

I completely agree that it’s not over. I am one of those unattractive guys who found a partner. But as you said, it was a lot harder, and it gets frustrating when people act like I wasn’t trying hard enough to become attractive. My main point is that some of us simply won’t be attractive to most women. It kind of hurts the ego, but it is what it is.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/11/25 05:34 PM
6

However, I think there are still some guys where they won’t be attractive to the vast majority of women Thank you! It’s so rare to see people acknowledge this for some reason. I get so frustrated when people act like guys just need to follow the standard advice to guarantee being attractive. No, some of us are just really unlucky. I’ve more or less hit the cap of how much I can improve, and I’m still just “eh” at best to most women. If a guy is short and naturally shy, then he can appeal to some…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/11/25 05:26 PM
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To which part are you referring specifically? Like, how he asked her multiple times before she said yes? Because I do agree Reddit very staunchly argues against doing that.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/11/25 08:49 AM
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No, I’m in a relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/11/25 08:45 AM
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No one other than me lmao. I don’t know why I worry so much about it.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/11/25 10:05 PM
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No, but I’m in the math department, so it’s plausible that anyone in STEM could’ve been in a class of mine. I’m just overthinking it. I just feel like bringing it up in casual conversation sometimes when I’m talking to an undergrad, but I worry they’ll think about it the wrong way.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/11/25 10:04 PM
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Yeah, I was never her TA. I don’t know why I’m so paranoid that someone might think I was her TA at some point though.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/11/25 09:53 PM
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Is it weird to be dating an undergrad as a grad student if we’re close in age? She was never a student or anything, so every sign points to it being totally fine. But I still get paranoid about mentioning my girlfriend to others because I’m worried I’ll come across as a predator or something. Edit: to clarify, I don’t have any issue bringing her up to close friends. I just have this worry that people I don’t know well will misjudge the situation.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/11/25 09:31 PM
2

Why can’t you tell your mom you broke up with this person? She’s gonna piece it together eventually anyway.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/11/25 09:28 PM
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I would want to crawl out of my skin if I heard someone mention Purple Pill Debate irl
/r/PurplePillDebate19/11/25 09:23 PM
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Lmao mid-word? It’s one syllable. That’s next level, I would definitely be fuming about that for the rest of the day if that happened to me. Sorry to hear that. My girlfriend at least recognizes this is a problem she has, so she tries to be better at it. She has intentionally been asking me about my day more often, which I appreciate.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/11/25 04:56 AM
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Thanks, dude.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/11/25 04:44 AM
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It was less of a singular accomplishment and more just an anecdote about how I gave a talk that impressed the faculty quite a bit. I’m a PhD student for reference.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/11/25 04:41 AM
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I feel like it’s different though. A guy could be decently attractive and still have zero interest from other women. If a woman is decently attractive and doesn’t get suitors, something is usually very wrong.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/11/25 04:18 AM
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I love my girlfriend, but she is lowkey a bit of a narcissist. I was telling her about some recognition I’d gotten in my line of work, and she went “wow we’re both so amazing” and started talking about her own accomplishments.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/11/25 04:17 AM
2

lol you’re presumably young, so I suppose the ignorance is forgivable. I assure you, there were absolutely guys in your high school that no one was crushing on. Men like us are usually just invisible, and girls like you focus on the small subset that everyone else finds cute.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/11/25 10:00 PM
1

Women can have crushes, but they should keep that shit to themselves or maybe their female friends.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/11/25 09:58 PM
1

Thanks for the rating. Do you have any tips for debloating? I haven’t looked into that much, so it could be worth exploring. Would you say I’m around a 4/10 overall? Does that take into account my short stature, as I feel like that should knock me down at least a point or two.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/11/25 12:35 AM
1

That’s surprising. Did they at least give good feedback on how to improve?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/11/25 05:16 PM
1

I suppose that’s fair. All my real life experience indicates that I’m below average though. I know beauty is subjective, but it paints a misleading picture when the few people who think I’m above average are the only ones to comment, instead of the silent majority who would find me to be mid at best.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/11/25 05:13 PM
1

I should have brought this up in the original comment, but I had people tell me they hated my hairstyle and still rated that high lmao. It definitely comes across as inflated ratings to me. Edit: I will admit I’m insecure though lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/11/25 04:50 PM
1

Interacting? Not trying to be annoying, just unsure what that typo was supposed to be. Anyway, nah they’re definitely inflating. I literally had people say they hated my hairstyle and then still gave 7/10 lmao.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/11/25 04:46 PM
1

Yeah, that’s pretty common too unless you’re a hot girl.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/11/25 04:44 PM
1

Why do people on the rateme sub feel the need to sugarcoat so bad? I’m an unattractive manlet and I’m still getting some 7/10 ratings. In fact, I think I did this a while ago without mentioning my height and got lower ratings. I think they just feel bad seeing that I’m 5’5 and are like “nooo short king, you’re definitely attractive.”
/r/PurplePillDebate11/11/25 04:33 PM
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This shit makes me so depressed. Can’t believe some guys have it so easy and still mess up. I would have killed for an opportunity like this.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/11/25 08:06 AM
5

I appreciate the genuine thoughtfulness. I get curious how others view settling, as I have gathered a lot of women fear their partner is settling on them. It’s a sensitive topic for me because I suppose it can definitely seem like I’m in that boat. So I’m trying to get a better sense of what settling looks like to other people.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/11/25 07:15 AM
5

That’s great for you attractive people, but when you’re ugly, there’s not really any other options. My girlfriend is the one and only woman who has expressed interest in me, and I’m 28 years old. Guys like me don’t get the choice of being selective. I like my girlfriend as she is; I wouldn’t want her to change a thing. It would be nice if she shared more interests of mine or were a little more patient, but no relationship is perfect. The most important thing is commitment and a desire to make th…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/11/25 06:56 AM
1

I read the third paragraph in Patrick Bateman’s voice. I need help.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/11/25 06:42 AM
3

Does it count as settling for a woman if I love her because she chose me when no one else would?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/11/25 06:28 AM
3

I have no clue what your point was, but that’s such a gigachad response that I snorted anyway.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/11/25 06:20 AM
2

“But to be part of my life you don’t have to be not a threat.” I feel like this outlook is quite prevalent these days, and it’s quite depressing. I just like people, full stop. As long as they don’t pose a significant threat to my well-being, I would like to have someone in my life. Maybe they annoy me somewhat, but ultimately I know that person is another soul just longing for connection. And what I’ve experienced from just interacting with loads of people from the homeless to coworkers to rand…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/11/25 06:17 AM
1

I’m not entirely sure how to answer your question. Do you want me to describe every single woman she’s interacted with? Some “wear Lululemon” and others don’t lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/11/25 05:13 PM
1

I suppose she’s somewhat unique in that she’s so demisexual that she’s almost asexual. She was actually wondering if she was asexual before we started dating. She never experiences any sexual attraction whatsoever outside of relationships. Otherwise she probably wouldn’t be dating me lol. I know a lot of women claim this, but it’s hard to describe without knowing her, but I 100% believe her on this.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/11/25 05:07 PM
8

“Plenty of women don’t care about height. Just talk to real women outside!” My actual girlfriend: “so many girls care way too much about height.” Women irl don’t seem to play this game of gaslighting about height preferences. I don’t why it seems to just be women online who do this silly song and dance.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/11/25 04:41 PM
2

My girlfriend is so oblivious to how ugly I am, it’s really cute. She keeps joking about how I’ll probably have to worry about college girls hitting on me (I work as a grad student) despite the fact that she’s the only one to see anything in me. I love her so much.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/11/25 05:22 AM
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That’s dishonest though lmao. Have you ever seen a flat-chested woman actually struggle to find a man? Every girl I’ve ever known with that body type had no trouble finding boyfriends and/or hookups. Women live life on easy mode, don’t forget.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/25 03:30 PM
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Yes men can be honest lol. Don’t be terminally online
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/25 03:21 PM
2

I don’t think it’s an exact science. Maybe 27 will be your year!
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/25 03:20 PM
2

Ah, sorry to hear that. I’d certainly still be alone if I were an atheist.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/25 03:19 PM
2

Apparently 26 is the miracle year, because I finally found my first and current girlfriend at 26. Except I am very much not attractive lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/25 02:50 PM
0

Not necessarily. I found my first girlfriend at 26. Becoming more religious helped, since religious women are more likely to not be bothered by the virginity.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/25 02:42 PM
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I get so triggered whenever anyone irl brings up using online dating and actually getting dates from it. Stop reminding me that normal people actually experience desire from the opposite sex!
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/25 02:33 PM
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Why are we getting upset about this? Don’t red pill guys specifically mention how they just want women to be honest? Here we finally have a woman being honest about height. As a 5’5 guy myself, I appreciate that she actually recognizes the reality of the situation. I also could not cheat on my girlfriend even if I wanted to.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/25 02:27 PM
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There are a lot of Americans who are bad with geography though (and I say this as an American). I can totally see most people following up with “haha, but where are you really from?”
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/25 12:48 AM
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I wonder why she’s single.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/25 12:44 AM
2

“Like a guy can’t get a woman if he’s not these things?” We ugly, short, etc. guys have to be basically perfect in order to have a chance at getting a girlfriend. That’s probably where the question is coming from. And I say this from experience. We do all the basic shit like going out and talking to people, but nothing ever results from it. So we’re told to be more assertive, get over your insecurities and fears, be more outgoing, etc. If we still can’t get a girlfriend, then apparently it’s bec…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/25 03:25 PM
3

That’s true. It’s also technically a choice to get upset if I joked about your parents dying. We’re human beings, and our emotions don’t work so logically.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/25 02:24 AM
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I agree women irl are generally a lot more sensible. But I guess it would be a major social faux pas to strongly imply an innocent man is a potential predator, so I think we guys are just worried that this indicates how women silently feel. Sort of like how women fear that the crazy incel takes online are how men really feel but are too ashamed to say irl.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/10/25 03:22 PM
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There are a lot of women who see men as predatory by default. See the man v. bear discussion.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/10/25 03:09 PM
4

Copy/pasting a previous comment because this comes up so often on here. Overall I agree that men should obviously care about other things too, but it’s not like it’s reasonable to expect men to just stop caring about sex. I feel like I try to explain why sex is so important for men like at least once a week here, but here goes again. For men, sex is intimately tied to self worth. If no one wants to sleep with you, it’s a pretty clear sign that you’re unattractive and undesirable. I’m Christian, …
/r/PurplePillDebate29/10/25 02:21 AM
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Native English speaker. Also, I’m just making light of the situation. It’s funny to me that Redditors freak out so much about this word choice.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/25 03:09 PM
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Guys, my girlfriend says “females” instead of “women.” Is she a misogynist?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/25 03:02 PM
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5’5 and Greek, but not the hot kind of Greek. I’ve been told several times I look Indian.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/25 02:22 PM
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I don’t know how to get over my feeling ugly without actually becoming attractive. But I don’t know how to become attractive, so I fear I’ll just permanently feel inferior and bitter.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/25 04:48 AM
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What’s your height?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/25 04:11 AM
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I feel like this is a separate conversation from the one I was replying to. The point was that feeling desired is an integral part of a man’s self esteem, so telling a man to just not care about it does nothing to resolve the issues.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/10/25 08:14 PM
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I feel like I try to explain why sex is so important for men like at least once a week here, but here goes again. For men, sex is intimately tied to self worth. If no one wants to sleep with you, it’s a pretty clear sign that you’re unattractive and undesirable. I’m Christian, so I don’t even value having casual sex. But the very fact that I couldn’t have it even if I wanted still stings. And it only gets worse when you try every piece of advice people give to change it, only for nothing to chan…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/10/25 02:17 PM
16

Eh, I’m pretty sure it’s about the ability to get a lot of women, but choosing to be with just her, as you mentioned initially. An ugly guy can choose to be with his woman, but he can never pretend that he had loads of other options to pick from.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/25 03:24 PM
6

Plenty of men do like those types of women.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/25 02:51 PM
51

So basically, even if an undesirable guy gets lucky and finds a girlfriend eventually, he’ll never be able to fulfill her fantasies because he’s not the type of man any other women want. How lovely.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/25 02:50 PM
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I’d love to be average. I’m not convinced that I am though. Every time I start thinking I am, life finds a new way to humble me lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/10/25 06:20 AM
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I have a fashion sense that is somewhat formal, but I think it suits me. Can’t please everyone. I don’t engage as much with art as I’d like. Every once in a blue moon I draft ideas for poems, but that’s about the extent of it. However, I feel like I get to channel a lot of creative thinking into pure math research, which is my day job. Confidence is a major struggle for me. I’ve gotten better at it over the years, but it’s a slow climb. I’m at least confident in the areas of my life where I have…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/10/25 06:18 AM
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Not that I’m aware of. But I’m pretty sure our mutual friends are decent enough people that they wouldn’t hit on a man in a relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/10/25 06:15 AM
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lol you have a good point. I come back in waves, but generally try to avoid it here. I just like arguing every once in a while, and it’s fun when people are like “dis is y u incel” now that I have a girlfriend.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/10/25 06:09 AM
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I have been. Or rather, I’m always working to be a better person overall. I just think I’ve hit a bit of a soft cap on my attractiveness. I could definitely get more attractive, but it would be a lot of effort for little gains at this point.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/10/25 06:07 AM
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A year and a half ago. I was 26 years old.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/10/25 05:59 AM
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I can’t figure out if I’m ugly or not. On the one hand, I assume I must be since virtually no women other than my girlfriend ever took an interest in me. But on the other, lots of guys are struggling with dating. But on the other, other hand, it’s possible these guys are just unattractive guys coping since most men seem to find someone eventually. I don’t think I’ll ever figure this out.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/10/25 05:52 AM
1

I wouldn’t say that men are less romantic. Just for men, romance and sexuality aren’t as intimately linked as they are for women. Men can feel sexual desire without romance, but that doesn’t mean they don’t care for romance.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/10/25 12:14 AM
1

Requiescat in pace
/r/PurplePillDebate23/10/25 12:09 AM
3

Thanks for providing that data. I thought I’d heard something similar, but I didn’t trust my hazy memory on that.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/25 09:02 PM
10

I dunno, I’m pretty envious and resentful of these types of women too, and I do okay. I just don’t date them and don’t think about them lol. They don’t want me either, so it works out pretty well for everyone involved. I honestly think what’s holding OP back is more so this notion that he does need to get over his hang-ups and be okay with dating someone he is not. I assume he’s the type that fears that every woman these days has a body count of 20+ or something, so he feels he has no other choi…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/25 03:12 PM
3

Are women bots? Why do so many of these responses have the exact same wording of “OP’s brain is fried from years of redpill” lol? Anyway, I’m not a woman, but the solution is obvious. Just don’t date these types of women. Simple as that.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/25 03:00 PM
14

God forbid a man have standards. Women always act like this standard makes you literally Hitler. Tbf I think OP is asking a misguided question. I do agree with your second piece of feedback, although not in the judgmental way you put it. OP should just date a woman with a low body count. That’s all there is to it.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/25 02:50 PM
4

I’m a scrawny 5’5 dude and women still see me as a scary threat at night. The level of fear is a little overblown, which I think supports OP’s point.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/25 02:35 PM
14

“Women statistically have higher rates of body dysmorphia and eating disorders” I don’t doubt the eating disorders stat, but I find it hard to believe that men don’t struggle with body dysmorphia as frequently as women. It makes me wonder how the study defined body dysmorphia (I’m giving the benefit of the doubt that there is a study). Because the amount of men who think they need to have like 3% body fat is climbing high, and just about any guy these days thinks he’s too short to be attractive.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/25 02:26 PM
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I’m impressed by patient people too. I think it’s one of the few positive qualities I see in myself.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/10/25 04:06 PM
–

If you’re not aware, in Christianity, Jesus is viewed as God, so it doesn’t make sense to say “Jesus or God” as if they’re distinct. You might be thinking instead of the Father. Jesus and the Father are two distinct persons in the Godhead, so it does make sense to say “Jesus or the Father.”
/r/PurplePillDebate15/10/25 03:57 PM
–

What does that mean?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/10/25 03:31 PM
1

I would define approaching as just the most direct way of signaling interest possible. A woman literally walking up and going “hey, I think you’re cute. Here’s my number.” Sounds like something out of a fairy tale, but apparently this does happen for some guys, albeit rarely. Flirting takes different forms and depends on the woman. Usually things like prolonged eye contact, wanting to spend time together, physical proximity, laughing at unfunny jokes, etc. There’s a certain “je ne sais quoi” to …
/r/PurplePillDebate15/10/25 03:25 PM
–

She’s so right. Relatedly, one of the greatest tragedies these days is that men can’t all date busty hourglass young supermodels. It’s so heart-breaking seeing men settle every day for women outside 18-21 BMI. We truly live in a society.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/10/25 03:21 PM
–

“God or Jesus” Churches need to do a better job of teaching the trinity these days.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/10/25 03:15 PM
–

Q4W: Is patience an attractive personality trait to you?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/10/25 03:09 PM
2

Very true.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/10/25 03:06 PM
1

Possible, but unlikely. It was pretty obvious to me when my girlfriend took an interest to me, so I like to think I’m pretty perceptive to that.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/10/25 03:06 PM
2

I hate that I still get depressed when I hear from guys about how they’ve had women approach them. Even if it’s rare, it’s still more than the 0 times it happened to me. I don’t need or want it to happen anymore since I’ve got a girlfriend, but it’s hard realizing that I am universally more unattractive than most men.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/10/25 04:41 AM
1

Usually the reason is because we’re undesirable, though sometimes we’ll cope and come up with other reasons. Shyness and introversion are generally undesirable qualities in men, so they would fall under that umbrella as well.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/10/25 04:14 AM
1

The funniest thing about being an older virgin is how we’re these enigmas to normal people. They can’t wrap their heads around being completely undesirable. Meanwhile, I used to not be able to wrap my head around the idea of a woman actually finding me sexually desirable lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/10/25 02:41 AM
2

Yeah, I’m half-Greek, and I don’t know if I’d say insulted, but it would be nice to actually look Greek to people.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/25 12:56 AM
3

I hope this doesn’t come across as racist, but I kinda dislike looking like a race I’m not. I keep getting mistaken for being Indian, despite not having any Indian background (unless my mom has a dirty secret, I guess). It especially sucks because most Westerners seem to find Indian men to be less attractive. Not sure if anything can be done about it. At least my girlfriend likes how I look lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/25 12:49 AM
3

Thank you. I’ll be praying for any men who meet you too. 🙏
/r/PurplePillDebate09/10/25 03:58 PM
2

I actually have a girlfriend lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/10/25 03:50 PM
1

I’m not saying you need to convince me. I’m saying your statement was not convincing. I don’t even need convincing anyway; I don’t actually think women are a monolith in that way. I’m just being annoying.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/10/25 03:45 PM
2

We would need examples of women not being shitty to men for not meeting their preferences before we can accept that statement.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/10/25 03:37 PM
1

Are Russian women made in a factory?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/10/25 03:33 PM
3

Remembering this the next time someone says “women have preferences, but they don’t belittle men who don’t meet those preferences like men do.”
/r/PurplePillDebate09/10/25 03:23 PM
2

For real. I don’t care if it’s cliched, my girlfriend is perfect as she is.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/10/25 03:20 PM
1

Eh, men are more varied in what they find physically attractive. Some prefer smaller breasts, chubby women, and I know for a fact plenty are simply indifferent to eye color (like me). So just about any woman can be some guy’s ideal girl. Conversely, height is desired by an overwhelming majority of women. Like it’s not a dealbreaker for all of them, but if you ask a woman to describe her ideal boyfriend, she will almost always mention height. So if you’re short, you are unlikely to be any girl’s …
/r/PurplePillDebate09/10/25 03:19 PM
2

Russian monolith https://youtu.be/0akycyrjA20?si=RwVhvopy-1vBptz5 “Women find different things attractive!”
/r/PurplePillDebate09/10/25 03:10 PM
2

I’m not quite autistic (according to a random psychiatrist anyway), but I am kind of weird, so I do relate a little bit. I’m also really short, so that plus social anxiety basically killed off 99% of potential partners. People always say “oh you might have been missing signs,” but it was pretty obvious when my current girlfriend showed feelings for me.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/25 04:12 PM
1

I definitely think so. There’s more to relationships than just looks though.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/25 03:51 PM
0

Isn’t Europe also experiencing a far-right resurgence? It’s not at the same stage as it is in the U.S., but that doesn’t mean it will stay that way.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/25 03:49 PM
3

I feel like normal people are cursed by their options to romantic/sexual partners. There’s all this endless debate and indecision about who is the ideal match. As an ugly guy, it was easy. There was exactly one woman who showed an interest in me throughout my life, so I started dating her.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/25 03:42 PM
1

I currently am. Well, she’s definitely very attractive, but I don’t know if I’d go so far as to say she doesn’t like sex. She’s just very low libido and has physical impairments that would make penetration impossible. And we’re Christians, so we’re waiting for marriage anyway. But she does still get turned on Even if we have sex only once a month, that would still be infinitely more sex than I was having before I met her.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/25 03:31 PM
–

Prostitution and hooking up are fundamentally difficult, but even if I grant that we count prostitution as hooking up, it’s still not like any man can do that. He needs to have enough money to afford it (and hookers ain’t exactly cheap), along with either living in a country where it is legal, or otherwise he has to have the ability to circumvent the law. It is not nearly as simple as it is for women where you can just go to a bar (probably for free) and look at a random guy. Edited Addendum: to…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/10/25 09:22 PM
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Why not? That’s basically the whole identity of femcels, and they’re usually quite vocal about it.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/10/25 03:43 PM
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Anyone can microwave a meal (hook up) *Any woman can hook up.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/10/25 03:41 PM
–

I really feel like the reason so many people are unmarried nowadays is that they’ve gotten into their heads they need to find this perfect individual who is their exact clone, except for the fact that they’re the opposite sex. I dunno, I think it’s almost easier as an ugly person since I didn’t really have many choices to work with, but you’d be surprised how it’s not that hard to make it work with someone who is different from you. It’s helpful to have some fundamental shared values, but a lot …
/r/PurplePillDebate05/10/25 03:32 PM
5

You know what, that’s fair. I imagine if average men did these things, they might be alright. I forgot that the post was specifically about average men, not just men in general. I guess my brain is still in denial about being below average lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/25 04:09 PM
18

The improvements are not really big if you’re too unattractive. I’m short and unattractive, so I made sure I’m in decent shape, dress well, and smell nice. That’s basic shit I’ve been doing my whole life, and no one finds me physically attractive.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/25 04:02 PM
20

When you’re too ugly, the changes you make don’t matter. As a funny example, I tried experimenting with my hair and grew it out. I asked the male grooming sub if I looked better with shorter hair or longer hair, and the universal opinion was that shorter hair looked better. So then I cut my hair and asked the same question. Now suddenly I looked way better with longer hair lol. All that really matters is height and face and maintaining basic hygiene. The rest is rest is a wild goose chase for a …
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/25 03:58 PM
5

I love her as a person, enjoy her company, and we’re pretty even about cooking and cleaning. I am confident my girlfriend would agree because we’ve talked about this extensively. I suspect you’re coming from a place where you’ve had really negative experiences with either Christianity as an institution or Christians themselves, and I’m really sorry for that. I hope you can heal from this. I know it can be hard to find good people out there, but I promise they do exist.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/25 04:42 PM
2

No? I just told you I’m not expecting sex in the future, and certainly not birth. I don’t expect anything from her other than loyalty, honesty, and respect.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/25 04:24 PM
2

We’re both Christians waiting to marry. But also she’s got pretty bad vaginismus, so penetrative sex will likely not be on the table after marriage either. But frankly, I went 28 years celibate, so I’m used to that anyway. We can do other sexual acts with each other as well. But this is becoming too focused on my specific relationship. My only point in bringing this up was to demonstrate that a woman never has to do anything to be cherished for who she is. That’s only an expectation for men.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/25 04:21 PM
2

Why? I don’t believe anyone should have to change who they are for love. I love her for who she is, even if it requires some concessions on my side.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/25 03:35 PM
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I don’t either. Even if you’re only looking for casual sex, it’s still a horrible place to find it if you’re not in the top percentile of looks as a man. I don’t get why so many men are on the apps when most of us get absolutely nothing out of it other than crushed self-esteem.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/25 03:32 PM
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Nah, you can still meet women irl. In fact if you’re ugly, you pretty much have to.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/25 03:26 PM
1

Nah, I think this is a fundamental difference between men and women. If there was a woman who loved me and I didn’t love her back, I’d be at worst mildly annoyed if she’s super obsessive. But I’d still be extremely flattered. We don’t receive that kind of notice or interest often.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/25 03:03 PM
2

My girlfriend does none of those things except care.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/25 02:52 PM
1

I agree most of those are unrealistic, but chronically lonely men do tend to get very suicidal. I was one of them for a while.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/09/25 06:15 PM
0

My unhinged view is that the government could start taxing single women. It would be really unpopular, but no one actually effectively protests anymore, so I doubt there’s anything that would be done about it. In the short term it might not change much, but given enough time with a strong economic incentive like that, it could level the playing field.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/09/25 06:10 PM
1

Fair enough, I should have said a traditional church, i.e. Catholic or Orthodox. Young, pious men are flocking to those churches in droves. They usually even outnumber the women in their congregations.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/25 03:20 PM
1

At church.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/25 02:41 PM
7

Why can’t you? Seriously, genuine question. The ceiling for how much a woman can improve her attractiveness is very high. If you want your weight changed, exercise can fix that. If you don’t like your face, make up can fix that. If your hair is unattractive, that can be changed. If you want your boobs to be bigger, that can be changed. For men, if your height is the issue, there is absolutely nothing you can do to fix that. You just have to hope you find that small minority of women who will, at…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/25 02:09 PM
11

…yeah, that’s my point lol. You seem rather annoyed by these complaints, but that’s what you’re gonna encounter in the debate sub.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/25 05:30 AM
1

It functionally makes no difference if an involuntarily celibate man sets his standards to “breathing woman” or someone who’s “funny, hot, smart, etc.” I know this because I tried both back when I was single. Either way you get rejected, just by different people. What is this supposed to accomplish?
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/25 03:09 AM
10

I found someone, but I still acknowledge that dating disproportionately makes men struggle. If you don’t like hearing men complain about it, I suggest you find a different subreddit lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/25 03:03 AM
1

Those sorts of posts are the male equivalent of “we’re all tens” lol. It’s baseless cope to make us feel better about ourselves. I doubt anyone in their right mind seriously believes that.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/25 04:07 PM
14

Why is it this guy’s fault that dating has become painful and demoralizing for him? You’re making this random comparison to how difficult it was for past generations of men, but that’s not really the topic here. While plenty of men claim it’s harder nowadays, that’s not the claim OP is making. You’re strawmanning the discussion as well. If all men had to do was fill out a profile, engage in conversation, and pick out a date location, do you seriously think men would be here in droves complaining…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/25 04:04 PM
0

I’m not sure I understand your question. I hang around people. Some from work, some from school when I was in school, some from friends of friends, and yes some from church (I’m aware that obviously these types aren’t going to want FWBs lol).
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/25 11:26 PM
2

Lmao if I used your first quote on a friend I’d get slapped in the face. This is weirdly out of touch.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/25 10:43 PM
5

I feel like those are disingenuous comparisons. I am a man, but I missed out on most of those things, and I also don’t feel any bitterness about it. But missing out on young love and passion is much harder to get over, and it’s a key part of building healthy self-esteem.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/25 10:27 PM
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Man, why did we never get another Jurassic movie that actually tries to be scary? The Jurassic World movies lean very hard into the action direction, but even Park 2 and 3 feel more like action movies than thrillers.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/08/25 03:57 PM
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Am I crazy, or is Jurassic Park one of the only movies that’s not explicitly about math to feature a mathematician as a protagonist?
/r/PurplePillDebate24/08/25 03:52 PM
4

“Instead of finding someone who is into them, they are asking to be settled for.” Most of us have realized that there are very few to no women into us. It doesn’t even take much. In my experience, the combination of being short and shy is usually enough to prevent you from being the object of any woman’s desire. Trust me, we’d love to find someone who is into us for who we are, but eventually after years and years of rejection it’s kind of hard to hold onto the illusion that there’s some perfect…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/25 03:08 PM
2

Relapsed and looked at written porn yesterday and I genuinely feel like such shit. Spent hours reading erotica instead of being productive. I hate my addiction so much.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/25 05:50 PM
5

We are (mostly) well aware of how little women want men. We simply get annoyed when women also claim that the “bar is in hell” when it very clearly isn’t. You can be as picky as you want to be, but don’t act like you’re not being picky.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/25 05:14 PM
5

I don’t think I’m that much of an outlier. Being a good person doesn’t really matter positively or negatively unless a woman is already interested in you. A lot of guys don’t clear that bar, so there are a lot who get left in the dust because they’re just not funny or attractive or outgoing enough.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/07/25 04:56 PM
8

Well, I was certainly interested in a long-term relationship before that point. Besides, I couldn’t find a short-term relationship either.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/07/25 03:45 PM
13

I have a stable job, I volunteer to help people with serious health issues take care of their homes, I have a good relationship with my own family, I have always wanted to fall in love and become a father, I have ambitions and a good education, and I like to think I am overall a decent person. Yet I did not find a single woman interested in me irl until I was 26. I bring this up not as a “woe is me” tirade, but because if women could overlook me for years in favor of criminals and guys who don’t…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/07/25 03:03 PM
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Oh yeah, I definitely agree that it’s not nearly as bad irl. Frankly, if real life were as brutal as online dating, I’d probably be completely blackpilled at 5’5. The main thing that got me out of that headspace was realizing that in real life things aren’t as bleak. But that’s also why I severely question people who act like the apps aren’t a hellscape for short men.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/25 06:01 PM
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lol I simply asked for a screenshot showing their matches (with names and faces blurred). Definitely would not have been hard if they weren’t fabricating the entire story.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/25 03:35 PM
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I wouldn’t be surprised if that’s at least a factor in what’s going on. But I generally choose to follow Occam’s razor; a decent amount of women care a decent amount about height. Whether it’s a lot or a loud minority can be debated, but it’s definitely enough women to make dating really tough if you’re short, especially if you struggle in other ways already.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/25 03:34 PM
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Nah, I am seriously a 5% body fat 6’5 alpha male with a harem of five girlfriends on rotation. Trust me, bro.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/25 03:24 PM
–

I did ask for proof recently. The response? Crickets and downvotes lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/25 03:19 PM
–

On some apps, you’re required to list your height, so even getting matches is difficult.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/25 03:13 PM
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Too many larpers on Reddit. We need to go back to the time-tested tactic of “pics or didn’t happen.” Like, there are so many guys on the short subreddit that I’m genuinely convinced are just roleplaying. They talk about how it’s not hard for them to get matches at all. Now, do you ever see their dating app profiles? Of course not. Before I get strawmanned, I’m not saying short men can never get a girlfriend (I’m a counterexample of that myself). But the ones who act like they never had any probl…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/25 03:00 PM
–

<image>
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/25 08:41 PM
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Relapsed yesterday with my porn addiction after only a week. Feels bad man.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/25 08:29 PM
2

I remember annoying my parents because every time I got a stomachache, I was convinced there was an alien creature that was going to burst out of me at any moment.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/25 03:39 PM
3

Same people telling men the reason they don’t get matches is because of their bland profiles btw.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/25 03:13 PM
2

I accidentally saw Alien at too young of an age and it scared me so much I didn’t watch horror movies again for like 15 years lol. I have since gotten over that, but I still don’t care too much for the genre.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/25 03:12 PM
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Day 6 for me. I hope we both make it o7
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/25 07:10 PM
–

It’s so freaking hard quitting a porn addiction, man. I thought I was making progress by substituting it for erotica, but it’s just as hard to quit the erotica. I hate having an addictive personality so much.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/25 07:06 PM
2

I’m really sorry to hear that. I am aware that it can cause both parties a lot of emotional pain. I think it helps that I was a virgin before meeting my partner, so I’m honestly happy with us doing other sexual things anyway since that’s still way more than I could do when I was single. It can be a lot to work through, but I hope the love you and your partner share can guide you through your situation.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/25 09:11 PM
0

Depends what you mean by sex. My girlfriend has pretty bad vaginismus and is struggling with a lot of other things, so it’s very likely we’ll never have penetrative sex. It’s tough to work through, but I love her a lot, so I can still make it work.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/25 05:07 PM
9

That is statistically above average. Some studies put the number higher than this, but I’m pretty sure I’ve never seen a median higher than 10. So if I’m being very generous, it’s average, not below average. <image>
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/25 02:51 AM
15

There’s a weird duality to the N count discussion. When a man is complaining or distraught that no woman wants to sleep with him despite having nothing especially wrong with him, the response is generally along the lines of “very few women want to have casual sex compared to men, so you shouldn’t expect it unless you’re above average.” Fine, but then when the topic of discussion is wanting a woman with a low N count, suddenly this is unreasonable because “most women are going to have a sexual hi…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/25 07:30 PM
2

I want to feel attractive to myself, not to other women necessarily. I’m pretty committed to my girlfriend.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/25 03:18 AM
3

Literally 1984
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/25 09:29 PM
2

Lmao, does this count as “woe is me”? I’m not saying I’m doomed to being single forever (again, I’m literally already with a girl). I’m just saying I wish I could be more attractive. I’m also not even saying that only looks matter or anything—I’m simply talking about my own ability to improve my looks.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/25 09:24 PM
4

Sometimes I hate how there’s a ceiling on how hot I can be as a guy just because of the fact that I’m short. It’s not even about getting a girlfriend (I’ve already found one); it’s just about wanting to actually feel like I’m attractive.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/25 09:15 PM
4

lol that’s not what I’m saying.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/25 08:46 PM
5

When I was an incel, I would see a lot of women’s problems as whining too. Learning to be more empathetic to issues that I don’t experience has been a net positive on my life. I hope you can experience this too one day.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/25 07:44 PM
1

I do admit that I kind of do this. I learned a while back that most women are simply incapable of understanding the sort of emotional pain a man can feel when he is completely sexually undesirable, so I instead focus on the romantic component since it’s more likely to be common ground that women can understand.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/25 07:33 PM
5

“Whining” The casual misandry is unnecessary and unfruitful to the discussion. You can choose to be kind even if no one else is.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/25 07:31 PM
5

OP is saying it’s a vicious cycle, I believe. So what you said is true, but so is the reverse. In other words, stunted social development leads to struggling with romantic/sexual relations and struggling with romantic/sexual relations leads to stunted social development.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/25 07:07 PM
2

I think the person you’re responding to is being a bit hyperbolic, but I agree to some extent that sexual validation is really important to most men. I think asking why it’s so important is kind of useless. Despite what the stoics will tell you, there’s only so much control we ourselves have over the importance we assign to things pertaining to our mental health. It’s mostly societal or psychological. It’s like telling someone to not be upset when they’re insulted. It’s good in theory, but in pr…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/25 06:57 PM
5

One thing this post seems to be missing is that you can still complain while putting in effort. Just because I used to bemoan how much effort I had to put in for no returns doesn’t mean I stopped socializing, going to church, using the apps, etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/25 06:48 PM
3

There are loads of men putting in the bare minimum amounts of effort, but in my experience these aren’t usually the ones complaining about women’s standards. I did not find a single woman interested in me until I was 26 despite working out, working on a PhD in a respected field, hanging out with friends, cultivating hobbies, and all that other crap that supposedly is attractive to women. None of it really mattered though because I’m short and shy, and for most women that combo is an automatic di…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/25 06:45 PM
3

Guys, like any other human, should do what makes them happy. If a guy doesn’t care much about dating and just wants to spend most of his day playing video games, then there’s no reason why he shouldn’t do that. Now, if he’s unhappy with struggling to date women, then I agree that unfortunately he should try to do more things that appeal to the feminine gaze.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/25 06:39 PM
1

Yeah, that’s what I was saying. I want to be able to show my girlfriend I’m not like that, but it’s kind of hard to do when I don’t have those things.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/25 03:08 PM
6

Nah, men get shamed for wanting sex. Just see the reaction whenever a man complains that he feels frustrated that he can’t find anyone who wants to have casual sex with him. The immediate reaction from women is usually that they have no sympathy for him since he just wants “to use a woman for her body.” You quickly learn that you have to frame the discussion about loneliness instead (which is also part of the equation) since women can at least understand and empathize with that.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/25 06:27 AM
1

Kind of tangential, but this is something that bothers me as a man with low options. I wish I had a way to prove my loyalty, as dumb as that sounds. Because it sounds a lot less impressive to say I’d never cheat if there is no option to cheat anyway.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/25 06:15 AM
1

While this is a low-effort response (not that OP’s take merits a high-effort one), it did motivate me to educate on this piece of misinformation that gets spread around a lot. Monogamy was forced onto women by religious shaming You could maybe argue that monogamy is due to shaming of some kind, but framing it as religiously motivated is pretty much wrong on the large. Unless one takes a pretty broad definition of religion, I suppose. The reason I say this is because monogamy was honestly the nor…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/25 06:09 AM
–

Q4A: is it really a thing that men in relationships get pursued more than when they were single? I think I might be simply too ugly for the standard rules to apply.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/25 06:03 AM
1

My answer is boring, but it just depends on how I feel about the woman overall. If I were really smitten, then I could look past it. But if I’m already not crazy about her, this could probably nudge things towards me not pursuing her further.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/25 12:41 AM
1

Oh okay, I think we might be in more agreement than we realized then. I agree with you that 2 seems to be an exceptionally low bar (unless you’re religious). I vaguely remember the average being somewhere in the 7-10 range for women, so that’s where I would personally have my cutoff. I just take issue with the women who act like that’s unreasonable, when it’s demonstrably not.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/25 02:46 PM
1

My point is that you exclusively date men who make you feel tall and weak, despite claiming to hate feeling small and weak. If it were really such an issue, you could try finding a guy who is smaller than you. But you don’t want that, which is fine, but then it doesn’t really make sense to complain about an experience you seem to enjoy, at least within the context of dating. And most women seem to be this way. You can’t claim that it’s only a result of women being smaller on average because 1) t…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/25 02:41 PM
2

Then it shouldn’t be such an issue to expect your date to have a low n count. It she has a high n count, then that’s abnormal behavior by your own admission.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/25 02:37 PM
1

And do you realize how many tall women I’ve heard say they struggle because they still want to feel small and weak next to their man, but it’s harder to find someone who’s taller than they are? Plus, if the issue were simply that women only date men taller and stronger than they are because most guys are, why would they refuse to date the rare men who are not taller and stronger? Not every woman wants a 6’ guy, but almost every single woman is opposed to dating a man below her height.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/25 01:53 PM
4

I feel like more guys should just take “yes and” approach to debates on this sub lol. I own my shortcomings. “You’re just being toxic and insecure.” “Yes and?”
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/25 05:21 AM
3

The majority of people were not born attractive enough for that Women’s sexuality exists when it’s convenient for the argument and doesn’t exist when it’s inconvenient. When a guy is complaining because his date has had several hookups before? That guy is unreasonable because every woman has hookups and casual sex when she’s young. When a guy is complaining because no one wants to have casual sex with him? That guy is unreasonable because hardly any women are having hookups.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/25 05:11 AM
4

Women: complain about feeling small and weak Also women: exclusively date men who make them feel small and weak. Lmfao I wish these were the worst of my problems.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/25 05:01 AM
3

I am almost 28, and there has been exactly one woman in my entire life who expressed interest in me, and she is now my girlfriend. I am pretty confident that if we broke up for any reason, I would probably never be able to get another date in my life. I got the deadly combo of short and shy. I’ve done the most I can with my traits, but I’m just pretty universally unappealing.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/25 04:38 AM
–

I’ve heard so many women talk about how much better their social skills are, but I feel like a lot of the reason why is because they don’t have to try as hard. For a lot of them, just showing up to a social event is all they have to do, and the odds are that someone will come to them and chat with them. You even see this when reading between the lines, where so many women act like all you have to do to improve your social skills is show up to some outing, and lambast men for not even doing that.…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/25 05:42 AM
6

I never know how to respond to these kind of comments. It just feels like they’re written from somebody in a fantasy land because it’s just so alien to my experience and to many other men’s experiences.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/25 05:35 AM
8

Where does this misconception come from? Back when I was single and on the apps, I would swipe left on most attractive women. I’d only go for the unconventional women: the heavier ones or the single moms. I still got no matches. Then I ended up dating a fairly attractive woman I met irl. It’s not about my standards being too high, it’s about dating apps warping everything.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/25 03:07 PM
1

Okay, I think I misunderstood the point of your question then. In that case, no, nobody (or almost nobody) called me ugly after seeing how I look. That’s at best tangential to the main discussion though.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/25 04:29 PM
1

Huh? The answer was yes and no, as I just described. Some did call me ugly, some did not. Some knew what I looked like, some did not.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/25 03:07 PM
3

Depends, because there’s a lot of people that influenced my decisions. Some would just assume I must be ugly if I was a 26 year old virgin. Many would not, but would agree that I’m below average from my self-description. I did once reveal what I looked like, and the consensus was that I look average. Since there’s also my short height to take into account (I’m only 5’5), I think it’s fair to say I’m moderately below average in terms of attractiveness (admittedly, ugly might be too strong of a wo…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/25 03:05 PM
7

Yes actually. I was an incel until I was 26, so I heard a lot of people tell me that I shouldn’t be choosy since I couldn’t afford to choose. People online would often assume that the only reason I could possibly be alone and unwanted was because I was only looking for supermodels. I was often told an ugly guy should stay in his lane and try to find an unattractive woman to date. So because of all this, I did my best to give a chance to any woman who would match with me on online dating. Less re…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/25 05:00 AM
1

I agree with this.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/25 10:50 PM
0

What I think is actually pathetic is the women who desire a literal serial killer over someone who is kind of shy and awkward sometimes.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/25 02:40 PM
–

I feel like that’s a slightly less useful definition. The only distinguishing factor between those two groups seems to be whether you agree with the lonely person’s perception of what is causing their loneliness (well maybe also an internal vs. external locus of control). Per my definitions, both would be counted as “entitlement” in the first sense; I just don’t personally believe that feeling entitled in that way is such a bad thing. Either way, I still hold that this is decidedly different fro…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/25 05:06 AM
–

“All it takes is one bad Reddit post to reduce the sanest man alive to lunacy.” -Jonkler
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/25 02:57 AM
–

I mean, at least you’re matching and even getting dates from Tinder. That’s more than what a lot of guys can say.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/25 02:54 AM
–

I take periodic breaks from this sub, so I’m kind of curious if I’m the only one feeling like people are genuinely becoming even more unhinged on here than usual. The number of radfems and misogynists both seem way higher than what I remember it being like. I genuinely feel like I’m in a fucking asylum wading through some of these posts lmao.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/25 02:50 AM
8

Yes, I don’t think that only exceptional people should be able to find love. That is just unhinged to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/25 02:46 AM
–

I think the issue impeding discussion here is that “entitlement” is too vague of a word. Often it is used to refer to two similar yet separate phenomena. I think of these as “entitlement to a romantic/sexual partner” and “entitlement to a specific romantic/sexual partner.” By the former, I mean probably what the other poster had in mind: a sense of being upset that one is not able to find love or validation because he believes that everyone is entitled to feel that at some point. By the latter, …
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/25 02:42 AM
1

Norwich’s 3 volumes of the history of Byzantium. His prose is quite engaging.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/25 03:43 AM
1

Incredibly based. As a former incel, I appreciate your efforts. Also, I swear he’s been your fiancé for ages now. Do you have a wedding planned for the nearish future? Not to sound like a nagging aunt, but…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/25 06:41 AM
–

How realistic the standards are is not the point I was raising. You said that men’s standards were more rigid, and I counter that women’s height requirement is absolutely just as rigid as any standard men have. Women are imposing a standard that is excluding a significant swath of men (particularly if that woman is tall herself), just like how men are imposing standards that exclude certain types of women.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/25 06:11 AM
–

Sure, do you have the link? I didn’t find the original paper in the link of the OOP.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/25 06:28 PM
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It’s because this data is essentially meaningless. Feeling “very lonely” is a very subjective experience that means completely different things to different people. The way women experience loneliness will, in general, be very different from how men experience loneliness.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/25 06:10 PM
–

The overwhelming majority of women would not date a man shorter than she is under any circumstances. If that’s not rigid, I don’t know what is.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/25 05:02 PM
1

If you were even contemplating having sex with a given man, he probably has other options and is unlikely to be the type who is complaining about loneliness. The guys complaining about loneliness are the ones you didn’t even register because they were shy, short, or whatever.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/25 06:14 PM
4

I’m not the guy you’re responding to, but I belief the privilege women experience in dating is agency. Sure, dating is hard for both genders—deserts and swamps—but there’s a key difference in the struggles. Lonely women will experience the crappy options they have, and choose to stay single because it’s better than the options she has available. A lonely man has no say; there are no options. He often wants to date, but there’s really nothing much he can do. Sure, self improvement is always an op…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/25 06:27 AM
2

I’m happy because I found a woman who actually was willing to date me and find me desirable. She is the first and only woman I’ve met who felt this way about me, which is why she is the one for me.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/25 05:18 AM
9

That’s just because this sub has a BS “no woe is me” rule. You literally get banned or suspended for acknowledging that you’re not worthy of women, which is why you don’t see it.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/25 06:33 AM
4

I think everyone is being selective. OP is selectively ignoring all the men who do blame all their dating woes on women (and I readily admit these men exist). You’re selectively ignoring all the men who feel depressed because they feel like they have no value to women (who definitely also exist and are prevalent on here).
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/25 06:28 AM
–

Flair checks out lol. Fine, you don’t have to have sympathy for lonely men, but I was just bringing it up because it is something that would help, and people act like literally the only thing that would help is mandatory girlfriends. But I’m also free to look down upon people like you for having low EQ about this. It’s kind of similar to the guys who have no sympathy for women in abusive relationships because they think it should be easy to vet for that. You’ve constructed a narrative in your he…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/04/25 04:33 PM
5

…What? How does this preclude giving compassion to men who can’t find a partner? What does this have to do with the topic of conversation? Are you assuming that literally every unwanted guy is just there because his standards are too high? I’m gonna just copy/paste something I left elsewhere in the thread since we seem to be talking over each other: People don’t ever actually listen to the issues surrounding lonely men. They just instantly assume that we are saying women should be sex slaves, an…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/25 04:30 PM
5

People don’t ever actually listen to the issues surrounding lonely men. They just instantly assume that we are saying women should be sex slaves, and get horrified at the argument they created in their heads.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/25 03:33 PM
20

It’s that there is no solution which doesn’t infringe on the freedom and autonomy of others How about just a little compassion? Does that infringe on women’s autonomy?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/25 03:26 PM
1

Yeah, back when I was single and trying to put myself out there more. I didn’t really have friends, so that was my only option. Didn’t work since I’m short and shy though.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/25 04:46 AM
3

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/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/25 04:42 AM
2

I’m not crying misandry. I just kind of feel bad for OP. Like I don’t normally feel the need to break out the “who hurt you,” but it feels really relevant here.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/25 04:36 AM
3

Unfortunately, the only real solution seems to be expanding your social circle. I don’t just mean having good friends, because if you haven’t met anyone through them, that’s unlikely to change in the near future. The best way to meet prospective partners seems to be making more friends and meeting/socializing more through them. It’s an uphill battle for shy/introverted men, but I’ve never found anything else to be remotely successful. However, I do still think looks matter quite a bit. Once you …
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/25 04:27 AM
-3

Woah there ma’am, why are you bringing empathy to this subreddit? That’s not allowed here.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/25 04:22 AM
1

Bruh, arguing that literally every able-bodied man fought in any war is such a silly take. You can even make your point without this absurd hyperbole, so I don’t get why you’re hung up on it. Take the L and argue better.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/25 04:14 AM
0

For what it’s worth, as a man I’d rather have a girlfriend and no right to vote than the reverse.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/04/25 03:32 PM
2

I don’t think I even have any traits that could be fetishized lol, so I have no clue.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/04/25 03:24 PM
3

Woah, you’d sleep with a conventionally attractive blonde woman with big tits? Brave.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/03/25 03:52 PM
–

We’re waiting til marriage
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/25 01:47 AM
–

Oh my bad, I was getting you mixed up with a different user.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/25 01:17 AM
–

Sure, but neurodiversity is less of an issue for women with regards to dating (obviously it presents issues in other areas). Even your original comment only targets neurodivergent men specifically. It’s not like you were making some self-effacing remark.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/25 01:06 AM
–

That’s interesting to me. I figured it was usually just men who got addicted to porn since it’s usually catered to us. Glad you got over it!
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/25 01:02 AM
–

I don’t know if I can get much hornier lol. But I’ve heard this advice before, and I’m pretty sure you’re right. I’m just struggling is all.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/25 12:56 AM
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I can too, but I’m trying to quit that stuff as well since the kinda of stuff I read are also warping my brain. Plus, I’m in a relationship now, and that stuff tends to make me fantasize about women other than my girlfriend.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/25 12:53 AM
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I’ve got some pretty uncommon kinks too, but I unfortunately got into erotica, and you can depict anything with that. But avoiding images of women is also hard to avoid too.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/25 12:49 AM
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As a neurodivergent guy who was single til age 26, I don’t feel very inspired by this. Just feels like another attack for struggling to find a partner, and it comes across as “I’m better than you.”
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/25 12:46 AM
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Can you masturbate without porn? If so, I’d say you’re fine. Horniness in of itself isn’t so bad.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/25 12:44 AM
–

What does this comment accomplish beside kicking guys who are already down?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/25 12:38 AM
–

Quitting a porn addiction is so hard. I’ve gotten too used to having visual aid for my imagination
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/25 12:35 AM
–

I mean, I kind of still do. Back when I was single, I was so desperate to feel desired that I contemplated going to a gay bar even though I’m straight. I just wanted to briefly not feel hideous. Women do have the privilege (generally) of having free external validation, which is helpful whether you acknowledge it or not.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/25 03:14 PM
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Can’t relate. Drinking never helped me. I’d get wasted and still quietly hide in the corner at parties. I’m still mad that the supposed silver bullet for social anxiety did nothing for me.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/25 03:02 PM
–

I unironically do lmao
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/25 03:00 PM
–

Tbf there are a lot of guys for whom this would never happen because they don’t even meet the bar of being decent enough. I imagine if I were at the bar in this hypothetical it would go: -Girl: I’m so pissed! I’d sleep with the first guy who looks at me. Sees me -Girl: … I’m gonna sleep with the second guy who looks at me.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/25 02:57 PM
1

I don’t hate you. I feel a little sad when you do self-destructive things though.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/25 08:20 AM
1

When was the last time you prayed?
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/25 08:18 AM
1

I’m really not either, but I don’t see how it could work even for people who are into it.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/25 07:02 PM
1

That’s crazy to me. I’d feel so guilty if I were sleeping around but my partner wasn’t. I’m probably too monogamous for this anyway, but if I were to be non-monogamous, I would want it to be equal. But I don’t think non-monogamy really can be equal anyway. The woman would just hold way too much of an advantage with ease of getting sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/25 07:01 PM
2

The issue isn’t women getting action lmao. The issue is the disparity between the parties. I might not be opposed to it if my girlfriend and I were getting action equally often, but that’s a pipe dream due to sexual dynamics.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/25 06:58 PM
4

It’s crazy to me that there are men who genuinely want an open relationship with their girlfriend. Even if she agrees to that, she’s going to get laid as much as she wants while maybe you’ll get some action every couple months or so, if you’re lucky. It’s just cuckolding with extra steps.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/25 05:37 PM
5

Hop on a dating app for five seconds and that should fix your problem. There’s no real debate around the overwhelming majority of women being able to get sex at the drop of a hat. The debate is whether that is useful at all.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/25 08:28 AM
1

lol mogs me. There are some women out there into that body type. I’m more of a skinny twink looking guy. If I were gay I could find a nice Hadrian, but alas I’m straight.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/25 02:01 AM
1

Does seem to be pretty common. Luckily my non-Greek father’s side seems to keep their hair into old age, so maybe I’ll have the last laugh when I’m 40.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/25 01:58 AM
–

These threads are always such potent suifuel, holy shit.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/25 01:44 AM
1

Since you seemed to miss the point, imagine a situation where there a hundred 30 year old virgins, and only woman in a group who doesn’t care about the inexperience. Then it’s not very encouraging that there exists a woman who doesn’t care, because the odds that you get picked by her are slim. This is a hypothetical of course. Maybe the numbers aren’t so skewed, maybe they are. But it illustrates why it matters whether there are a lot of women who care about this or not. It completely changes th…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/25 01:40 AM
1

It’s almost frustrating knowing that men of my ethnicity (Greek) are traditionally handsome. Like, how did I get the one set of bad-looking Greek genes out there?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/25 01:29 AM
1

Yeah, seems to be middle-tier weird since responses were mixed between finding it gross or not.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/25 06:30 AM
1

Q4A.: is it gross for a man to be turned on by lactation? I don’t get turned on seeing a woman breastfeeding a child, but ngl there is a part of me that finds it hot to drink milk from my girlfriend’s breasts if she were lactating. My girlfriend was grossed out by this though, so I’m curious if I’m just a sicko or something lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/25 05:18 AM
4

Lmao okay
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/25 05:29 AM
2

I really hate this line of reasoning. It seems to suggest that the only way someone can be complete friendless is if they’re a piece of shit, which is exactly what led to me feeling depressed for a long time (and this just makes it even harder to make friends). It took a good amount of therapy to realize that struggling to talk to people is not an indication of my self worth, just how good I am at advertising it. Ultimately, I think I still agree with the main point if you frame it as “no one ca…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/25 01:07 AM
8

I hard disagree with the concept that romantic relationships are friendships “on hard mode.” It takes more commitment and sacrifices, but for people with poor social skills, that’s usually not the hard part. The hard part is opening up to somebody and getting to know them. For introverts especially, it is much easier to deeply get to know one person or a handful than it is to have a wide social circle with many friends. Case in point: myself. I have social anxiety, so talking to most people is v…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/25 01:01 AM
1

I’m 5’5, does that count as a deformity?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/25 05:10 AM
11

I will never get over the insane takes on here advocating that men should just learn to be happy with never getting into a relationship. It’s only on Reddit where you hear deranged, borderline schizoid crap like this. Tell any normal human being irl about how awful it feels to be chronically single (including therapists in my experience) and they’ll understand that it’s an extremely painful condition.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/25 07:50 AM
1

Ngl changing one’s attitude towards women generally doesn’t do much if you’re struggling to get into a relationship. It’s more important for maintaining a relationship, but that’s not really something I see most guys complaining about here.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/25 07:32 AM
2

Good god. Shit like this just makes me lose my faith in humanity. I have no words.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/25 07:11 AM
4

It was a little scary at first, especially since I’ve had bad experiences with being emotional with others before, but yes I am vulnerable with her. I actually talk a decent bit about the insecurities I developed from being unwanted for so long.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/25 06:38 AM
4

I’m insecure and also unattractive, but I don’t find this to be true. I deeply value my girlfriend precisely because she is the only woman who has ever expressed interest in me.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/25 03:08 AM
1

Yes, and that was a huge mistake. I always heard “drinking will lower your inhibitions and help you socialize.” But it never helped me, so I just assumed I wasn’t drinking enough. So I tried to push how much I was drinking further and further until I could’ve killed myself. That finally was when I realized I needed to stop and that it wasn’t helping anyway. So anyway 0/10 would not recommend.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/25 08:13 AM
1

I hate parties. I feel depressed if I don’t go because I’m being an antisocial shut-in and I want to make friends and have fun. But if I do go, I feel depressed because I never talk to anyone and have a panic attack.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/25 07:30 AM
2

I feel like if we struggle with women, that kind of automatically implies we’re low value though. Like, I know I don’t have much to offer, because if I did, I wouldn’t have been single til I was 26.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/25 07:29 AM
1

First of all, I just want to send my kind regards as an Orthodox brother in Christ. It’s cool to find Christians even on this little corner of the Internet. I have a great deal of respect for you folks, and I hope we may one day be in communion again, even if it’s not for another millennium. Anyhow, I’m still kind of confused on what counts as papal infallibility and what doesn’t. It clearly can’t just be any dogmatic statement from a pope, because I think Honorius I was sympathetic to monotheli…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/25 07:25 AM
2

Coming to this sub genuinely makes me so thankful that my gf isn’t bonkers like the women on here lmao.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/25 07:14 AM
2

I know this is mostly just a joke, but I think it’s an interesting insight into just how much more (some) men seem to desire a relationship than (some) women. Men will be like “yeah I’d cut off my right pinky finger if it got me a girlfriend,” and women will be like “dang, I’d have to shave to get a boyfriend—doesn’t really seem worth it.”
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/25 07:07 AM
1

Fr. It can be so satisfying to demonstrate that you’re not under someone’s pretty privilege spell though.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/01/25 04:22 AM
2

Because it’s Reddit. It’s the natural order. The hot people can have their Instagram and their literally everywhere else, and we can have just one corner to be ugly and miserable. (I’m not actually serious. Well, maybe like 30% serious.)
/r/PurplePillDebate09/01/25 04:16 AM
4

Reeeeee, why are there actually attractive people on this subreddit? This is supposed to be a haven for us losers and uggos.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/01/25 03:54 AM
1

What if the child would have killed her? What if it’s a child born of rape?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/01/25 03:45 AM
–

How does the last paragraph indicate that OP is using feminism as a scapegoat for male dating woes? The closest thing I can see is that he states that anyone who doesn’t align with the subtle misandry will often to turn to alternative, more radical ideologies, one of which is redpill. I don’t see anywhere where OP blames feminism for women not liking cold approaches blames feminism for women wanting hot men blames feminism for height preferences -blames feminism for dating apps But as you said, …
/r/PurplePillDebate08/01/25 04:50 PM
–

Did you actually read OP’s post? He mentions multiple subtle examples of misandry that have little to do with any of what you’ve written.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/01/25 04:38 PM
1

I’m sorry, but if a woman is exclusively experiencing men only wanting sex from her, then she is probably below average. While most women definitely experience thirsty dudes who only want them for a quick fuck, average women typically also find plenty of men with genuine interest in them. (Differentiating between the two categories of men can be its own challenge, but that’s beside the point.) If no man wants to genuinely date a woman, then that woman is simply struggling more than the average w…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/01/25 12:50 AM
3

The average women is constantly told she is worthless and can only be made “acceptable” to men by constant work and effort. Could you explain to me why you think this?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/01/25 12:46 AM
5

Cash-grabbing capitalists are low-hanging fruit and you know it. The trend is much more general than that. Sometimes it’s genuine, sometimes it’s not. But any woman, whether she’s fat or tall or has meager breasts, can rest assured she’s attractive to someone. Men are unlikely to compliment their male friends’ looks for fear of coming off as gay. Women are unlikely to compliment their male friends’ looks for fear of signaling attraction. You also didn’t dispute that the average woman will get as…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/01/25 03:42 PM
2

Kind of like the “hot people are hot” comic.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/01/25 03:08 PM
6

Yes they are. The average woman will get asked out by multiple men, the average woman can receive countless matches on dating apps (doesn’t matter if they’re quality or not—they’re evidence that she’s attractive), the average woman’s friends will tell her she’s gorgeous, the average woman has social media campaigns telling her that her body type, whatever it is, is beautiful. None of this applies only to thirst traps on Instagram, but it certainly doesn’t apply to men.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/01/25 02:56 PM
0

It was a joke based on a single line. Don’t read too much into it.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/01/25 02:51 PM
1

I mean, you kind of can. Being single dramatically lowers one’s life expectancy (I think comparable to smoking iirc). Further, the depression from it can also lead to suicide. I nearly killed myself when I was 21 due to depression caused by being single.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/01/25 06:29 AM
1

videos only porn policy It never began for erotica enjoyers.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/01/25 06:12 AM
1

I’ve always found the pipeline from porn to desiring violent/abusive sex strange. I have watched porn since I was a preteen, and it has never made me want to slap or choke or do anal or whatever. I do have some weird fantasies tbf, but I’m pretty confident that porn had nothing to do with them, especially since they don’t come up much in porn. This doesn’t discredit your point though. It’s indisputably a phenomenon that a lot of young men have their desires warped by porn.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/01/25 06:07 AM
3

I’d only be upset if she’s not trying to quit, since I’m trying to quit currently. I generally strive for equality with my partner.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/01/25 05:56 AM
31

My personal theory is that it’s because of validation. Women are constantly bombarded with affirmations from other women, from thirsty men, and society as a whole that they have value as a romantic partner (so much so in fact that it can be its own problem). However, a single man is often invisible and feels completely undesirable and ugly. I can only speak for myself though. I’m in a relationship now that’s overall amazing but will probably be sexless indefinitely (partner has health issues I w…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/01/25 05:50 AM
3

Fair enough. It’s a big dice roll for men as well as for women in life, and yeah if you were both 6’2 and confident then you got pretty lucky with the dice roll as a man.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/01/25 05:55 AM
2

Do you happen to be introverted and/or shy? That is a much more damning trait for men than it is for women. Very few people reach out to a man unless he reaches out to them first. You’d probably have a really rough time socially, and even at 6’2 you’d probably have some trouble with dating.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/01/25 05:16 AM
1

I guess that just doesn’t sound appealing to me. A 20 year old generally doesn’t receive as much respect as a 30 year old, and similar for the other ages. The only way it would be helpful would be if youth made me more attractive, but I’m too unattractive for that to really matter.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/25 06:14 PM
1

Whether women love us or not does not change the fact that we deserve love. Being perceived as lesser does not mean we are lesser.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/25 06:11 PM
1

People have been saying that since I was 18. When is “older” exactly? 30? 40? 50?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/25 04:25 PM
1

I’m not too shaken up about this particular incident; it’s more funny than anything else. But it wouldn’t be the first time someone thought I was significantly younger than I actually am.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/25 04:13 PM
1

I won’t bs you, being short makes dating so much harder. I’m 5’5 and it was miserable, and I can only imagine how much tougher it is at lower heights. It’s tough coping with the fact that we’re simply not attractive to most women. But you are deserving of love. Every decent human being is, and don’t let any shithead here or anywhere else tell you otherwise. You’re not lesser because of your height. It’s hard to feel that way when we’re so unattractive, so my current strategy is to find ways to h…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/25 04:11 PM
6

This is so cathartic to read. Literally all I I’ve asked for on here is some sympathy for how hard we short dudes have it, instead of condescension, gaslighting, and mockery we usually get. Genuinely thank you for this comment; it’s the first refreshing thing I’ve read on this sub in ages.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/25 12:58 PM
3

Only one woman has ever told me she had feelings, and she is currently my girlfriend. I was definitely not upset. Hypothetically if this did happen to me though, I can’t imagine I would feel any of 1-5. I would probably feel flattered, if awkward, and see if she would be able to stay just friends.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/25 12:38 PM
2

It’s so Joever. I had a TSA person ask if I was over or under the age of 18. I am 27 years old.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/25 12:34 PM
1

And you’re a high school senior spending your holidays shitposting on Reddit instead of making memories or touching grass…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/25 04:31 AM
2

I think your anecdote supports what I was saying. This ex of yours had incel qualities, yet he was able to find a girlfriend. If he were 5’4 and socially anxious, then I doubt he would have been able to date you in the first place.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/01/25 05:42 PM
4

I feel you, man. I got lucky because I finally found someone at 26, but she has been the first and only woman to express any interest in me.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/01/25 06:54 AM
5

You actually have women you don’t know say hello to you?? I swear there are two types of virgins. The kind who have every single card stacked against them and would even get turned down by an AI, and then there’s the kind where women could fall into their lap and they still wouldn’t know what to do.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/01/25 06:49 AM
1

Yeah, I do sometimes try to mention that she needs a Pap smear still for her health, and she’s going to need to train to get to a point where that isn’t excruciatingly painful for her.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/01/25 06:12 AM
1

I find it kind of funny that I ended up in a gender-flipped version of the script people talk about on here all the time: this time it’s the girlfriend who is getting her sexual needs met and the boyfriend isn’t lol. I’m definitely not cheating or hooking up with prostitutes, and I wanted to cut porn for religious reasons anyway. I’m hopeful that eventually she’ll try dilation, since she needs a Pap smear eventually, and she’s got to work her way up to that even being physically possible. I woul…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/01/25 06:10 AM
1

I think she’s so tight that even a finger is tough, but I might be misremembering. Definitely didn’t know about the other stuff, so thanks for bringing that up! There are tons of challenges related to this unfortunately though. She’s also had bad experiences of men and women making her feel like she’s lesser or defective because of her condition, so I try to be careful to let her know that I love her whether things change or not. It can make it hard to bring up ideas for solutions though.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/01/25 05:55 AM
1

Forgot to mention that she can get off just fine from outercourse, and she’s pretty content with that.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/01/25 05:41 AM
2

Sex isn’t as big of a deal for her. She’s not exactly asexual, but her libido is pretty low, and she would basically be content if all we ever did was cuddle.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/01/25 05:40 AM
1

I’ll stay with her whether she seeks treatment or not since I’m really in love with her. It would suck without sex, but I wasn’t having sex before we got together either lol, so not much has changed anyway. I don’t think you have much to fear though. If you’re with a good woman that you’d want to marry, she would be the kind to disclose this before marriage.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/01/25 05:38 AM
1

Trying to fit even small things in her vagina is painful, and to my knowledge that’s usually how treatment works. You start with small dilators and work your way up, I think.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/01/25 05:36 AM
1

She’s too scared currently to use those unfortunately. Maybe eventually she’ll warm up to it, but it might be a while unfortunately. I’m not holding my breath for it.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/01/25 05:32 AM
1

It’s not no sex necessarily, depending on what your definition is. Oral sex will still be on the table (we’re waiting til marriage though). But honestly the emotional intimacy of just cuddling is already pretty great, so I think I could live without some of the other stuff.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/01/25 05:31 AM
2

Confession time: I’m a little worried I might get sexually frustrated with my girlfriend long-term. For context, I love her deeply as she is the first and only woman to give me a chance (I’m 27), so I am willing to put up with sexual frustration if it comes to that. The issue is that she has vaginismus, so PIV sex is off the table for the foreseeable future (she is also terrified of getting treatment, so I don’t want to push that too hard either). We also both disapprove of porn, so I’m trying t…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/01/25 05:18 AM
6

I mean, as a long-time former incel myself, I think that being an asshole will probably make things slightly harder, but it’s not really the obstacle it should be. There are plenty of awful men with girlfriends, and there are plenty of awful men without girlfriends. It does negatively affect one’s success with women, but I also think it’s disingenuous to claim that’s the reason why these men are alone. Being unattractive and shy/awkward are really the biggest deterrents in my experience.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/01/25 04:37 AM
–

Ok
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/24 07:31 AM
–

:(( You just commented like a day ago that you weren’t going back to bulimia. It sucks to see you going through this.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/24 07:29 AM
–

Given how many times women on here repeat ad nauseam that “women are not a monolith,” you’d think that it would be obvious the same holds for men. Are there some morons who want both low n count and sex on the first date? Sure. But most men are going to fall into wanting either low n count or sex on the first date because obviously those types of behaviors are contradictory. You’re not able to appeal to all types of men, but you don’t have to.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/24 07:09 AM
2

It’s the American experience. It’s so alien to me though because I was underweight for a while and needed to learn how to gain weight, and it’s surprisingly hard to find resources on that since Americans can hardly even conceive of that problem lmao.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/12/24 11:23 PM
1

Do you still hate on fat people?
/r/PurplePillDebate29/12/24 11:14 PM
1

I’m glad you’re not bulimic anymore. I feel so validated though for predicting you had an eating disorder like a year ago because of how much you would hate on fat people lol. (I was using a different account at the time though, now nobody knows who I am.)
/r/PurplePillDebate29/12/24 11:10 PM
2

This is genuinely spot on. Uncannily accurate
/r/PurplePillDebate29/12/24 11:05 PM
17

Women can afford to focus on the other areas of life, because men come to them and they don’t have to put in any work for it. If a man simply waits for a woman to come to him, we will die alone. Now, you also seem to wonder why men aren’t okay with this. To that I want to begin by saying that most people in general are not okay with not experiencing love. It seems to eat at women too; I’ve certainly met a fair few women in anguish over not being able to find anyone who truly loves them. But I ag…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/12/24 10:37 PM
12

We are not allowed to answer this question on this sub, per the rules lmao. This sub isn’t here for genuine discussion.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/12/24 10:31 PM
2

How have people not yet realized that this user’s posts are all just trolling? The title even has “males” and “women” in it lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/12/24 10:20 PM
2

He’s not exaggerating much. I don’t like or dislike Lily; I have no strong feelings about her at all. But she does objectively comment a shitload on this thread.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/12/24 05:35 PM
2

…and be tall.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/12/24 04:24 PM
1

I appreciate when old people talk to me; I love old people actually. Unfortunately, I’ve been to even a smallish church where nobody talked to me. Granted, I’m more used to bigger cathedrals, so maybe that experience was just an outlier.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/12/24 06:30 PM
2

You’ve got the right attitude for sure! God rest ye merry gentleman!
/r/PurplePillDebate23/12/24 05:57 PM
4

I’m short and shy. I genuinely think that’s all it takes to be undateable as a guy. I’m still invisible for the most part; I just got really lucky with my current gf. If we broke up, I imagine it would be another decade until I had another chance, at least. My gf also happens to be demisexual, so she was the first person I’ve met who could look past my appearance to give me a chance.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/12/24 05:56 PM
2

Be warned, you will probably not talk to anyone then unfortunately. I say this as a shy guy myself. Maybe if you’ve got a particularly friendly parish some folks may reach out, but I wouldn’t get my hopes too high. People generally ignore awkward, lonely types like us.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/12/24 05:53 PM
2

In that case, I absolutely recommend going then! Church is (or at least should be) a beautiful haven from the pains and misery of the world.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/12/24 05:49 PM
2

To answer your question, I’m short (5’6) and a small person in general (only weigh about 135 pounds). My girlfriend is pretty much the only woman who has ever taken an interest in me, but that’s because she is genuinely demisexual. But also, I wouldn’t recommend going to church just to meet a girl. I think religion is such an important area of life that you should probably only date someone who feels similar to you—Christians with Christians and atheists with atheists. Otherwise there are going …
/r/PurplePillDebate23/12/24 05:35 PM
4

At church! We had a mutual friend as well.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/12/24 05:12 PM
2

I was a KHHV until my first girlfriend at 26. AMA
/r/PurplePillDebate23/12/24 05:09 PM
1

A decent amount of men don’t really get to choose who they date. I mean, they technically do, but if you get one option every couple of years or so, then the decision is essentially made for you. The desperation to not be alone anymore provides a strong external push to pursue one of those limited options, regardless of whether there’s really any attraction or not. So basically men end up taking what they can get, and if what they can get isn’t particularly appealing, they don’t have much recour…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/12/24 05:04 PM
1

Just saying this based on my personal experience as a short guy.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/12/24 08:25 PM
2

I get it, I was 26 when I found my partner. She’s highly exceptional in that she is a virgin and very low libido. These sorts of women are out there, even if they’re hard to find.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/12/24 03:38 PM
1

It’s easy enough to lose your virginity when you’re a woman. If it were easy for men to lose their virginity, half this sub’s posts would cease to exist. Also something something, grass is always greener. I used to be suicidal because of feeling undesirable. I wouldn’t recommend it.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/12/24 02:57 PM
3

Redditors will sometimes throw a hissy fit about this advice, but you should try to find someone who is also sexually inexperienced. Such a woman will be a lot less inclined to judge you for your lack of sexual history if she’s right there with you.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/12/24 02:53 PM
–

There seem to be a decent amount of femdoms who actually prefer smaller penises (not loads, but enough). Honestly probably easier to find a woman who actually prefers a smaller penis than to find a woman who prefers a shorter man.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/12/24 02:30 PM
–

You’re probably decently attractive. I never get IOI anywhere, whether at the bar or work. So you’re at least not unattractive like me.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/12/24 02:26 PM
1

I never said “most men.” I said “many men.” And I stand by my assertion that there are many men on the bottom who are so desperate that they would take any affection they can get, yet still can’t find anyone. I am focusing on those at the bottom simply because it is the stratum with which I am most familiar. Moreover, I think the differences between men and women’s dating experiences are most pronounced at the bottom. A low-tier woman will generally be far better off than a low-tier man. I think…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/12/24 05:26 PM
1

I am genuinely confused by the second paragraph. I’m reposting my own comment, not someone else’s. And again, this is reposted specifically because I wanted to hear counter arguments. You may noticed I didn’t actually respond to the circle-jerky comments. That said, I’m not conceited enough to pretend this is a profound observation. It’s just one that I don’t personally see come up often in these threads, but I take it you see it more often than I do. Finally, in regard to your first paragraph, …
/r/PurplePillDebate21/12/24 04:50 PM
2

Admittedly I’ve never read any of Rollo’s stuff because I think it’s cringe. I say this based on direct observations of both my experiences as a man who felt powerless to change his situation for years, and as someone who has heard several women express that they would rather be single than date a crappy man. It’s not some red pill indoctrination because I’ve never even read the book from which this originates. Like it or not, men will independently arrive at this conclusion.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/12/24 03:43 PM
6

That’s a cool quote and all, but it pretty much just boils down to “nuh uh, that’s not how it works.” It doesn’t really engage at all.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/12/24 03:30 PM
2

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/r/PurplePillDebate21/12/24 03:20 PM
6

I posted this comment here a little while back, but it was late at night so it didn’t get many responses. I’m pasting it again at prime American hours to see if I get more conversation going. One thing that doesn’t seem to come up often in the discourse about whether men or women have it harder in dating is the sense of agency. Sure, both men and women are going to be single in roughly equal numbers since humans are generally monogamous (though even that is unfortunately fading away). However, t…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/12/24 03:17 PM
1

In my experience, casual sex is usually a lot harder to achieve as a guy, not easier. I think if you can get a random woman to want to sleep with you, then you can find a girlfriend. I say this as someone who has never experienced attraction from a drunk party girl but did manage to miraculously find a girlfriend later in life (at age 26).
/r/PurplePillDebate21/12/24 07:41 AM
3

Oh wow, I genuinely didn’t know the manifesto was fake. Where did you find out about that?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/24 07:35 AM
1

I think there’s a lot of truth to that. Nevertheless, whether it’s hopeless or not, I still toil in vain to garner empathy because I’m a whore for pity. I have actually met a few rare women online who do seem to understand how depressing it is to be undesirable, and those few victories motivate me to keep trying to explain our lives to others.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/24 07:31 AM
2

That sounds like a nightmare. Makes me realize how easy I have it at my cozy job.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/24 07:27 AM
2

I was wondering if you were back to working crazy hours or something since you’re still up lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/24 07:15 AM
1

I see that you’ve broadened the scope of the conversation quite widely from my original intent. Regardless of the disparities in other areas of life (and I am absolutely willing to mention that there are other areas where women do have it worse), I believe that men suffer more specifically in dating because of the lack of agency specifically in dating. Beyond that, I do sympathize with your feelings a lot. The only thing that kept me alive back when I was suicidal was a feeling of obligation to …
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/24 07:10 AM
2

Empathy would be a massive step in the right direction at least. I greatly appreciate that you’re at least willing to extend that olive branch, as many here would not. I am aware that other men blame individual women for their loneliness, but that is not what I was attempting to convey here. I am curious how you would phrase what I said then. I am aware of the optics of language, so I would generally agree that wrapping this idea in more palatable language would probably help others be more empa…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/24 07:01 AM
1

I was also a bit cautious about the word choice, but it’s late and I couldn’t think of a better way to word the message. I think it’s ultimately suitable as long as one makes it clear that it’s not any particular person doing the forcing here, but the circumstances of this man’s life, environment, upbringing, nature, and so forth.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/24 06:50 AM
4

One thing that doesn’t seem to come up often in the discourse about whether men or women have it harder in dating is the sense of agency. Sure, both men and women are going to be single in roughly equal numbers since humans are generally monogamous (though even that is unfortunately fading away). However, the experience is very different for men vs. women precisely because of choice. For a woman, it is almost always a choice to be single. Often, all of her dating options are immature, creepy, da…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/24 06:33 AM
1

Christ was the only thing getting me through my struggles with loneliness and depression. I’m glad you found Him.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/24 06:28 AM
6

It’s kind of frustrating that you can’t even vent in this thread though if you’re an incel. I get banning black pill points, but the “no woe-is-me” rule is really annoying and seems to just suppress male issues.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/24 03:49 AM
3

I mean, women repeatedly mention that they don’t care about muscles too much. It’s more of a thing in the gay community, I’ve heard, and I wonder if that’s coloring the perception here. It’s a lot of effort to go down that path if it’s not even going to help your chances much.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/24 03:46 AM
–

It’s a lot harder to focus on the women who do accept our features when there are exceptionally few of them. I remember when I was still single and miserable, I would try to cheer myself up by looking for examples of women saying they found short men hot. It was exceptionally hard to find.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/24 08:36 PM
–

The comment about men preferring women who are shorter is a bit misplaced. While this is technically true, most study show that men prioritize a height differential much less than women, and by a wide margin. For instance, I have almost always had crushes on women my own height. One could equally well bring up that plenty of women don’t want to date an overweight man, but it’s a much lower priority concern for (most) women in the same way that height is a lower concern for men. I think I mostly …
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/24 08:28 PM
4

No one on either side ever seems to mention the sense of powerlessness that’s pretty much exclusive to men’s dating. If you’re a single woman, that’s (generally) a choice you made. Maybe it’s not an ideal choice, but at least it’s a decision you made based on your options. However, a man who is single (generally) has this condition thrust upon him. He has no choice in the matter, and feels powerless to change his condition. Of course this would lead more readily to feelings of depression.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/12/24 07:20 AM
1

Yes
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/24 06:06 PM
1

I suppose, but it feels hollow to say that when my choices are her or nothing. It’s like getting the right answer on a multiple choice when there’s only one bubble.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/24 05:15 PM
2

Out of curiosity, what helped you get out of the man-hating rabbit hole? I’ve seen quite a few women online and in-person who are quite vocal about their misandry (I know that term gets thrown around a lot, but I mean literally saying they dislike most men). Yet I can’t seem to find any way to break their spell, and it’s quite sad to see.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/24 08:09 AM
2

It is kind of cute that she’s my first, and hopefully only, for most things. She’ll be the only woman I ever kiss, and I think that’s really sweet.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/24 07:54 AM
4

Why? It’s not like I don’t love her a lot. Now that I’m with her, I wouldn’t want to be with anyone else
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/24 07:52 AM
8

I wish I had a cute reason for why I chose my girlfriend. In reality, I didn’t actually “choose” her; she was just the first woman I met who actually seemed to like me in my 26 years of living. But it’s not really romantic to say that.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/24 07:27 AM
1

The guy still mogs me
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/24 07:24 AM
1

You can be needy while having options, but acting like you’re not needy when you have no options is extraordinarily difficult.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/24 07:23 AM
1

Yeah, I’m always surprised that so many porn addicts end up watching deranged shit. I’ve also been viewing porn since I hit puberty, and I never got into gore or scat or whatever. I feel like plenty of the people who watch this stuff would be into weird stuff with or without porn.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/24 07:19 AM
–

I don’t think I’m saying that women’s behavior is unjustified. I apologize if it came across that way. But regardless the reality of what I said holds true: lovely men will give just about anyone a shot whereas lonely women have reason to be more cautious and not give said men a chance. The original point of my comment was to point out that people like to flip this script for some reason and act like incels are just ignoring ugly women because of high standards or some nonsense. That’s largely u…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/24 06:25 AM
1

Oh, I think I misunderstood your original message. I thought you meant that men are better off, rather than them being better people now. I suppose I would agree then. I just think that the sexual revolution has not benefitted men in any way. Not to say that it’s a bad thing; women matter a lot too, and it’s been a great benefit for them.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/24 04:08 AM
1

Oh wow, yep you’re right, I didn’t even realize I was talking to a different user this whole time lol. That’s a sign that I need to get some sleep…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/24 07:19 AM
7

I think some of the frustration may stem from the fact that a lot of times these legitimate grievances will be framed in a way that almost seems to imply that if men were just more willing to do household chores or take care of kids then they would have more success within relationships. This is frustrating because the types of men who read this can’t even get their foot in the door, so it feels totally irrelevant to the actual problems they are facing.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/24 07:12 AM
1

Oh I absolutely agree on that front. I’m not trying to convert you either. I’m just here to remind you that faith is absolutely an option if (and this is the important part) it’s something you voluntarily choose to accept into your life. And even then, I only bring this up because it sounded like you were somewhat unhappy with your current worldview or beliefs. God bless ;)
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/24 06:58 AM
1

If there’s direct evidence contradicting something, then no I probably couldn’t believe in it. But there isn’t really anything that disproves the existence of God; there’s just nothing that proves His existence either. But that’s why it’s faith.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/24 06:44 AM
1

Speak for yourself. I can choose to believe whatever makes me happy.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/24 05:57 AM
2

That’s basically me (minus the hot part lol). I’m so shy that I will just never break out of my shell, no matter how long I’m with a group of people or how many drinks I’ve had.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/24 05:46 AM
1

Women who like me.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/24 05:44 AM
2

In what ways would you say men are better now? I’m not asking this as a “gotcha,” I’m just curious what your perspective is, as I feel that the sexual revolution has offered absolutely nothing positive to my life as a below-average man.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/24 05:41 AM
3

You can still choose to believe in God. Reject nihilism, return to Christ.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/24 05:39 AM
0

I would absolutely. The sexual revolution has not benefitted me in any way whatsoever. I did not have any premarital sex, online dating has yielded no fruits whatsoever, seeing promiscuity just breeds envy and bitterness. I’d rather everyone hide their sexuality. Then I wouldn’t have to confront the reality that I’m unappealing to 99% of women. Ignorance is bliss.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/24 05:36 AM
8

Curious how these women with low self-esteem who would supposedly take anyone still wouldn’t touch most incels with a ten foot pole.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/24 05:30 AM
0

Well if they’re ignoring the only attention from men they receive, then of course they’re going to stay alone. Meanwhile, most of the lonely men I know are willing to try to date anyone who is remotely interested. That’s why I get so frustrated when people act like men are the ones who are ignoring all these eligible women who would give them a chance. It’s just the total opposite of everything I experience. And it was really insulting as someone who could not find anyone to give him a chance th…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/24 05:24 AM
1

I guess there’s no reasoning with bigots. I hope you do some reflection at some point.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/12/24 04:25 AM
0

Do you think you’re the first bigot to try to justify their bigotry? Racists will spew statistics at you too to justify their hatred; it doesn’t make it right.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/12/24 04:02 AM
0

Get off your moral high horse. No amount of mental gymnastics will make it okay to hate men. Full stop.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/12/24 02:34 AM
1

Why can’t I be horrified by the statistic and simultaneously find your choice of words disgusting? If saying “I dislike men” is not misandry, then what the fuck is? My girlfriend and I are both horrified by the injustices women face without resorting to bigoted statements vilifying men. Maybe you should take notes.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/12/24 02:10 AM
3

Tfw being short is such an undesirable trait that pretending to like a short man is considered “humor” these days…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/12/24 12:05 AM
1

Oedipus Rex. Make of that what you will.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/12/24 12:02 AM
1

I thought women didn’t watch porn.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/12/24 11:59 PM
4

That is a disgusting statistic, but also as if I didn’t have enough reason to dislike men Why is misandry so normalized? God, I feel sorry for your husband.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/12/24 11:54 PM
-2

This is blatantly untrue. I mean, just think about it. If this were the case, why are there so few overweight, unattractive, or older women who post about feeling invisible to men. It’s almost always men who express this feeling. And the rare women who claim to never receive any attention are often just ignoring the attention they do get. Here’s an example to illustrate my point. When I was single and desperate, I DMed a bunch of women who would post on foreveralonewomen. I reached out genuinely…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/12/24 11:45 PM
1

I can’t tolerate caffeine anymore. It gives me horrible cramps.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/12/24 08:45 PM
2

I miss being able to have coffee. Getting up early in the morning is so much less satisfying now. Sometimes I go to a coffee shop to do work anyway to try to recreate the magic, but it’s just not the same.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/12/24 05:48 PM
–

That part was admittedly just rhetoric to grab attention and rustle more jimmies. However, various studies also put the average lower than 7. For more conservative demographics, the average will obviously be even lower. So in a way, above 7 might be well above average depending on the context.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/12/24 11:20 PM
1

I only figured it out since someone else mentioned it in a recent daily thread. I don’t snitch though lol, so you’re good.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/12/24 03:38 AM
1

Oh shit, I do remember him. RIP. Also I like how you went from hating incels to being the one to announce their deaths when they’re banned from this sub. This peak character development is what I come to this sub for.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/12/24 02:27 AM
1

Literally 1984. I’ve been away for a while until recently. Was he an incel? The name sounds familiar.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/12/24 02:19 AM
3

I agree with the second paragraph, but as an extension of that, there are absolutely some people whose problems could be fixed by money. Like if someone is otherwise alright but is struggling to make rent every month, you wouldn’t tell them “sure money is nice, but it won’t fix all your problems.” That’s my issue—this is essentially what people say to virgins who are miserable about their condition. Do some of them have other, deeper issues that a girlfriend wouldn’t solve? Sure, but I honestly …
/r/PurplePillDebate09/12/24 02:12 AM
3

I dunno, I was pretty depressed before I met her, so my life might have counted as negative at that point. We both seem pretty happy now.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/12/24 02:07 AM
4

I wouldn’t have this trauma at all if I had not missed out on a fundamental part of the human experience for over a decade. I was depressed because no gf. Now I have gf and am way less depressed. It didn’t fix all of my problems, but it fixed one of the biggest.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/12/24 12:41 AM
5

Depends on the type of mental health issues. I’ll accept that some people don’t have a girlfriend because they’re depressed, but I think it’s far more common for a man to be depressed because he doesn’t have a girlfriend. I have been depressed because no one wanted me, and now I’m finally able to slowly heal because I found someone. I don’t understand why some people are so hesitant to accept that being unwanted romantically is a legitimate cause of depression.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/12/24 12:36 AM
3

I suspect it’s the latter.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/12/24 12:29 AM
19

Why do people gaslight virgins all the time about how getting a girlfriend won’t solve all their problems? I finally got my first girlfriend when I was almost 27, and it practically cured my depression. I’ve still got some emotional scars from being unwanted for so long, but I’m in a much better position now that I have someone who loves me. For some people, love is all they want, which is only absurd to people terminally online. Everyone in the real world seems to understand this.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/12/24 12:26 AM
1

It does look cool; I’m just physically attracted to that look at all.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/12/24 12:23 AM
1

Exactly, and that’s why it’s so baffling to me that this sub talks all the time about how women are generally much less interested in casual sex than men… and yet somehow still get surprised when they learn women generally have low N counts. I hope it’s different groups of women saying these two things, but it is also funny to imagine it’s just some weird kind of double-think going on.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/12/24 12:21 AM
1

Might also be due to some hoes on Reddit who can’t fathom going a year without sucking a new dude’s dick. It’s so interesting seeing the disbelief every time this stat comes up on this site.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/12/24 12:16 AM
1

Good question. I believe it was the mean, but I could be misremembering. There were also some studies that put the number as low as 4, but that might have been for younger women in their twenties.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/24 11:00 PM
3

I feel like I’m talking to a child. I give up lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/24 10:39 PM
2

If you only know how to empathize with people who have the exact same life experiences as you, then I think that’s a separate issue.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/24 09:58 PM
2

That’s why I’m just using the statistical average. I should have made that clearer apparently since a lot of people seemed to miss that.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/24 09:57 PM
3

Lmao “religious studies” Listen, I can actually empathize with you a little, believe it or not. I used to be an adult virgin, and when you’re in that position, it feels like everybody else must also be struggling, and secretly no men can ever find sexual attraction, etc. But it’s a distortion of reality, based on the personal experiences that we project onto the whole of humanity. It was difficult to accept the facts and data that clearly present the fact that, no, most men do actually get marri…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/24 05:04 PM
4

I don’t make the rules. Look up the numbers if you don’t believe me. Most women manage to go to college without being hoes, believe it or not.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/24 04:50 PM
3

Sure, it depends on location of course. But this particular stat is, iirc, for American women. If it’s this low in a western, mostly sex-positive country, I can’t imagine it’s much higher anywhere other than maybe Western Europe. You think India or Romania is gonna have a higher average?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/24 04:48 PM
1

The reason you don’t see more rants from men is that they get banned for either being misogyny or “woe is me”.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/24 03:34 PM
4

Then they’re mega whores in the parlance of one particular user lol. Statistically at least lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/24 03:09 PM
3

You may not like this, but this is just factual. The average number of sexual partners for American women is estimated to be at most 7, and I recall it being similar around the world. If she’s slept with more men than that, then she’s definitely sleeping with more men than the average woman.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/24 03:07 PM
1

I don’t know if this will make you feel any better, but I also worried I’d never be able to love someone around your age. However, when I got into my first relationship at 26, it really did erase a lot of the trauma I’d been through. I genuinely was able to feel love again. Not sure if this is a good or a bad thing when one feels hopeless though, and I know there’s sadly no guarantee this will happen to everyone who is a virgin.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/24 07:24 AM
1

Definitely worse, especially if he’s average height. I’m pretty sure all but the ugliest-looking 5’9+ guys mog me.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/24 07:21 AM
1

An all-time classic YouTube vid
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/24 07:10 AM
4

Just a reminder, since people here seem to forget this: if she’s slept with over 7 dudes, then statistically she’s a hoe.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/24 07:06 AM
7

Lmao based
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/24 06:56 AM
2

All zero of them
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/24 08:17 PM
7

Me personally? Not really. I don’t have any of those things, but plenty of men don’t have them and do just fine. I think really the main deciding factors are looks and social skills. You can do alright if you have one of those two things (and probably exceptionally well if you have both), but if you have neither then it’s going to be a massive uphill battle to find a woman interested.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/24 08:17 PM
63

I don’t understand why homeless people don’t just raise the standards for the type of jobs they’ll accept. Instead of taking the advice of only taking jobs with a living wage and benefits, they say crap like they’ll take whatever they can get as long as it puts food on the table. They’re just taking jobs out of desperation. And fine, I get it, but then you shouldn’t complain when your workplace treats you like crap. If you prioritize putting food on the table over having a job that can pay for n…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/24 08:11 PM
1

I always appreciate that you’re one of the few female posters who gets it.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/24 08:09 AM
2

It’s all good lol. Sometimes meaning gets lost in text.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/24 06:13 AM
1

Sometimes I think that my shyness is the reason I had no success with women for so long, but then threads like this remind me that it’s also because I’m unattractive. I think a shy, hot man can do okay, and an unattractive, outgoing guy can do fine, but if you’re both shy and unattractive then your dating life will be virtually non-existent.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/24 01:27 PM
1

Yeah, that’s my point. It’s a better analogue because it’s a condition that makes penetrative sex essentially impossible, like having a micropenis. Glad to hear you’re tight again, I guess lol
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/24 01:50 AM
1

Yeah, I think looseness isn’t really the proper analogue in this situation. A better analogue would be vaginismus imo. It’s also a medical condition that one is generally born with and would cause most men to find sex disappointing.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/24 01:33 AM
1

Would you not feel hurt if there was a guy you really liked, but once things got intimate between you two, he realized he didn’t feel any pleasure from sleeping with you? Most women can give him pleasure, but you specifically can’t.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/24 01:32 AM
17

There is no such thing as a femcel, and I will die on this hill. If women were as desperate for attention as their male counterparts, then all the lonely people would just pair off. The r/foreveralonewomen subreddit needed to go private because too many men were trying to date the women there. Back when I was single and desperate, I tried reaching out to loads of women on Reddit who claimed to be lonely, and never received a single message back. There is no female equivalent to the levels of des…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/12/24 01:12 AM
1

Yeah, at least there’s a chance that a guy will want more than just sex, whereas you have to be pretty delusional to think the prostitute wants any more. But that still skirts around my first question. Let’s say for the sake of argument that sexual validation doesn’t help women at all. Why then do they not experience as much loneliness and desperation as men? What else could be causing the difference?
/r/PurplePillDebate02/12/24 12:59 AM
5

Are you depressed/suicidal about being alone and unwanted as a woman?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/12/24 08:51 PM
6

Well, I’m curious then why you think women by and large are more comfortable with being alone than men are. I do think women probably have better social support systems on average, but I’m not convinced that this is the determining factor. I had friends too back when I was single and unwanted, and it didn’t really help me feel any less miserable. A prostitute doesn’t really want to be with her patron at all, which is what I think is the fundamental difference here. If a woman gets hit on, then s…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/12/24 08:45 PM
4

This reply strikes me as a bit too bitter to take at face value.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/12/24 05:04 PM
2

I absolutely agree that social skills are the determining factor that causes a lot of young men to be single for extended periods (anecdotally this was definitely my issue for a while). However, I feel like that’s just as bleak as if the reason were looks. Our personalities are very difficult to change. I’ve spent the better part of the last decade trying to be less shy and reclusive, and while I’ve had some small successes on that front, I’m far from a social butterfly.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/12/24 04:56 PM
8

I think the primary dividing factor on that front is validation. The reason that I think so many men become inconsolable if they can’t get a relationship (at least this used to be true for me) was because it makes us feel undesirable and useless. However, most women have the luxury of guys hitting on them, so even if none of these guys are relationship material, they at least know that they have inherent value. It’s probably the largest female privilege in my eyes.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/12/24 04:51 PM
1

I am currently doing this in my relationship already, but it’s for religious reasons. However, I’m curious where you draw the line on these sorts of issues. Is written erotica okay? What about NSFW images?
/r/PurplePillDebate30/11/24 07:03 AM
1

I think the better analogy that no one has brought up honestly is vaginismus, which is a real thing that some women experience unlike the stuff OOP brought up. I mean, the whole point is that having a micropenis is an unchangeable physical condition some men have that make it harder to satisfy their partners without doing things that make them feel like their bodies aren’t enough. Similarly for women with vaginismus, they have a medical condition that makes it difficult to please their partners …
/r/PurplePillDebate29/11/24 08:12 PM
1

Yeah, Reddit is full of crazy nutcases giving unhinged advice detached from reality. Yet here we are.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/11/24 05:13 AM
-1

If you think the comparison is a poor analogy, then I’m inclined to agree for the reasons you listed. However, I disagree that it’s a “small minority” of women who make these suggestions. Again, there might be a misunderstanding here about the context. The context is not a generic relationship; it’s one where the man specifically has a micropenis. I don’t have any personal experience with this (believe it or not lol), but I have seen a lot of threads where people suggest the advice of the guy we…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/24 08:04 PM
1

The point of this post that seems to be escaping some people is that this is a gender-reversed version of the suggestions people make to men with small penises to solve their bedroom dilemmas. Either wearing something artificial for their partner’s pleasure (for men it’s a cocksleeve), foregoing penetrative sex altogether (same for men), or opening up the relationship. If you think these are awful solutions, I agree, but I can actually attest that this is what people do suggest to men with micro…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/24 04:41 PM
7

I’m not quite autistic, but I do struggle to relate with people most of the time and definitely have similar mental health issues. So I can weigh in a bit and say that it’s absolutely a huge detriment to your ability to date as a guy. I was single until nearly 27, and even then I doubt I would have ever found a girlfriend if my current partner hadn’t given me a chance. It’s also a condition that is highly prevalent among incels, so it’s not hard to see that on average autism is going to be at be…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/24 07:35 AM
10

or find another autistic woman Unfortunately, I recall a statistic that autistic women generally don’t want to date their male counterparts. Autistic guys are pretty much screwed when it comes to dating.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/24 07:32 AM
5

As a former older virgin who spent a lot of time interacting with other older male virgins, I’m sorry but that’s simply not true. Loads of people (generally women but sometimes men) would absolutely throw shade at men for wanting this in a partner. They’d call such men entitled or unrealistic or misogynistic or obsessed with purity or some other crap just because these men want a woman who’s on a similar level to them. I’m glad you don’t have a problem with it though. If you see people dogging o…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/11/24 06:10 PM
1

you’re complaining that other people aren’t an anomaly like you? Yes lol. It sucks that it’s easy for most people and not for us. I’m not gonna advocate slut-shaming or any other vitriol towards people who aren’t anomalies, but I was and continue to be bitter/resentful about it. The fact that it makes other people uncomfortable or annoyed makes complaining more satisfying, not less.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/11/24 07:45 AM
9

I never even cared too much if my partner was a virgin when I was a virgin myself, but I know a lot of other guys who were late bloomers, and they absolutely get flak for wanting a virgin to experience things with together. I’m glad you agree that it’s fine at least.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/11/24 10:57 PM
24

“As a virgin woman myself who only wants a virgin man” Lmao thank God you’re a woman. If the genders were reversed, this would be unforgivable misogyny or something.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/11/24 04:06 PM
1

There was one from about an hour or so that got locked because it was asking why, in general, women don’t extend empathy to men who have no sexual/romantic success with women. Maybe we’ll disagree on this, but I didn’t consider that a rant. I definitely see a lack of empathy online all the time about this topic, so I think it’s a genuine topic of discussion.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/11/24 04:03 PM
2

The most annoying thing on this subreddit (and that’s quite an accomplishment) is when there’s finally an interesting thread that’s not about one of the two/three subjects this sub endlessly recycles, and then the mods shut it down because “no woe-is-me/incel content” 🤡
/r/PurplePillDebate24/11/24 03:55 PM
–

Is snarky passive aggressiveness really the empathy you claim it is? You’re a human; you know what empathy looks like, and it’s not this lol. As someone who struggled with exactly the things OP talked about, I can also vouch that even if women just responded by saying “damn, that sucks” it would be an improvement over the condescending, minimizing replies like these.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/11/24 03:16 PM
4

Really? Never? That’s just as delusional imo as the incels who claim that no one under 5’5 can ever get a date. Absolutist statements are generally just nonsense. Anecdotally, most of the short men I know (myself included) have struggled to find a woman who is attracted to us. It’s not impossible, but I think it’s disingenuous to act like the only way a short, ugly guy could struggle is if he’s got something hugely wrong with him. Besides, even if true, all it manages to do is lower such men’s s…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/24 01:14 AM
–

When is this supposed to kick in exactly? Because I’m a below average guy whose girlfriend finally gave him a chance, and I wouldn’t give her up for the world. Your friend dated an asshole, that’s all. He didn’t cheat because he was a low-value man or whatever; he cheated because he’s an asshole.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/24 01:06 AM
2

Thank you for the clarification. I’m not especially convinced, but it’s pretty much impossible to compare the levels of nervousness experience, so I’m not sure if it’s possible to meaningfully argue one way or the other. I’ll just finish by mentioning that, anecdotally, I had a coworker who loudly proclaimed her interest in Taylor Swift to an office of mostly men, and there was at least one guy who politely inquired about it.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/24 11:45 PM
2

Yes, and so would most men. There are studies already that show that women care more about height than men. Saying things like “men care about height too” is a disingenuous false equivalence.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/24 06:20 AM
1

I’d rather be beautiful for 10 years and lose it than spend my entire life unattractive.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/24 06:18 AM
2

I may be just misunderstanding your one example, but I don’t know if men’s interests are necessarily more socially accepted than women’s. I admittedly don’t have any data to back this up, but I feel like men seem more likely to get hyper fixated on weird, niche interests that would absolutely still be cringe to the majority of other people. There’s memes about guys going on autistic rants about Roman history to a disinterested partner for a reason lol. I just think video games in particular have…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/24 05:58 AM
4

Will it be this when you as a person don’t even like you or know who you are? This seems like a rephrased variant of “no one will love you til you love yourself,” which I really think needs to die out. It’s just confusing cause and effect, thinking lonely men are single because they’re depressed rather than the other way around. It’s gaslighting men who have understandable mental health struggles due to their loneliness into thinking they should somehow be able to become at peace with not meetin…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/10/24 05:21 PM
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