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ExternalBarracuda292 Archive

View 0 posts and 145 comments by ExternalBarracuda292 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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3

I totally disagree. The general advice that men should be respectful of women and treat them like humans rather than sex objects has made society a significantly better place in general. It's done a ton to improve the standard of living for women compared to past generations. The problem is simply that we don't try to instill these same values in women. No one would ever tell women that they should also try to be respectful of men and treat them like human beings, to even suggest this would be c…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/26 07:10 AM
1

The friend zone is, essentially, the source of all problems that both men and women experience in dating. It arises from differences in male and female dating preferences. The source of the problem is that men and women are looking for vastly different things from each other. Women believe that men are mostly looking for attractive women, but this is actually totally false. Men require some baseline level of physical attraction but it honestly isn't much, average or even slightly below average p…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/26 05:18 PM
–

I was saying the opposite actually, that it's a little better now than it was. Various societal changes have led to increased independence for both men and women, and with it a greater acceptance of people remaining single by choice and a better quality of life for people choosing that option. There's also sort of a slow begrudging acceptance among the mainstream that maybe some of men's problems are legitimate and they don't always have the upper hand in absolutely everything. It's still probab…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/11/25 05:42 AM
–

I think a lot of the problem is that a lot of people don't actually understand men's dating struggles, even though they're very simple. The gist of the issue is simply that women have a vast advantage in the dating market. A typical man will have very few good opportunities to get into a relationship with a desirable partner over the course of his life. He must work extremely hard to create these opportunities and capitalize on them flawlessly if he is to have any chance of finding a happy relat…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/11/25 04:45 AM
3

This topic right here, and the responses to it, is essentially the entire reason that redpill exists. "Since I no longer have to pair up with a man for financial stability, if I'm going to date, it's going to be for my own happiness and to enrich my own life. I want to be with a man who is fun to be around and whose company I genuinely enjoy. I want us to enjoy the same things and laugh and have happy times together." "So basically, you want a boyfriend who's like a best friend?" "Yeah, exactly!…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/11/25 08:45 AM
4

This is totally not the case though. I love sleeping with her, in both the sexy and non-sexy sense, because she is my sweetheart. Seeing her be happy and waking up next to her are among the best things in life. Plus, when it comes to guys and sex, we can't really "fake it", our anatomy just doesn't work that way. If a guy had to force himself to have sex, there just wouldn't be sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/25 06:39 AM
3

Oh sure, like I alluded to, there's never been any problem from a physical standpoint. This story is deliberately light on detail because the last thing I'd ever want is for her to find out about it (even the thought that your partner settled for you physically is immensely damaging to a person's self-esteem, even if it's not true), but suffice it to say that after we found out that we couldn't get enough of each other's company it became physical almost immediately, and even now many years late…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/25 06:17 AM
16

First of all, I kind of resent this question. I've seen how harmful body image issues can be to people, so I don't like calling anyone "ugly" because of how hurtful it can be. I'm also a believer that pretty much anyone can be sexy with the proper presentation. That said, my current partner is someone who would not widely be considered attractive. She's also a few years older than me. However, she is my bestie and we are pretty much inseparable. She's smart, easygoing, and fun and we can talk fo…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/25 06:20 AM
2

It's for the exact same reason that some men consider women being able to work problematic. It gives them more independence, which in turn raises the bar for the quality of mate they will accept. From the perspective of those prospective mates, this reduces the quality of mates that they are able to attain. However, they're just going to have to get used to it, neither porn nor women having financial independence are going anywhere. You can either focus on raising your desirability as a mate or …
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/25 11:36 PM
2

B in a heartbeat. It should be noted that B's experience is simply the experience of like 75% of men until age 25 or so, so really, B is just an average guy. He clearly has a good attitude (he does not blame others for his struggles and doesn't suffer from angry or hateful beliefs), so he will probably have good friends and he will always have a loving family. I also don't believe that he will never find anyone, there is certainly at least a certain part of attraction that is not tied to appeara…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/25 07:28 AM
1

I think this is true but much moreso for men than women. I've said this before, but I generally think that women care far more about appearances than men. Women constantly say things like "I like him but I'm not attracted to him" / "there's no chemistry" / "he's not my type" / etc, but you never really hear this from men. Sure, you'll see young guys with no experience talking about how they would never date a fat girl or something, but put them in a situation with a big woman who's fun to be aro…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/03/25 05:57 AM
0

One piece of advice I often give (which I think is actionable for pretty much anyone) is not to be embarrassed about your hobbies and interests. Those are the things that make you unique. There's a lot of geeky guys that think "well, I have to hide all my geeky hobbies from girls", but the thing is, if you're talking to a woman for whom geeky stuff is a turnoff, it'll never work out with her anyway. The risk is that if you're dealing with a woman who isn't put off by it, but you're too afraid to…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/03/25 05:19 AM
38

I'm going to offer a slightly different explanation for this phenomenon. I've mentioned before that one of the main things men want from their partner is for them to be a good friend, largely because most men don't have many friends so they need their partner to fulfill that role. Successful, heavily career-oriented people are often workaholics, and dating workaholics is not fun. Besides the fact that they're almost always busy and thus don't have a lot of time to spend together, they often have…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/25 04:44 AM
1

This is going to sound lame, but it's true. What men value is friendship. If you are fun to be around, your man will be extremely loyal to you. Attractiveness fades. Skills are nice but replaceable. Enjoying each other's company is what lasts. Virtually all relationships I know (including my own) that have had long-term success are those where the man and the woman are besties (and usually were before they even started dating). If you're struggling with relationships with men, try to pay attenti…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/25 05:24 AM
2

You're misunderstanding the logic. The gist of it is "your standards are based on what's available to you". It's not directly tied to your own value except insofar as that affects your options. The homeless person has few options and thus isn't picky. The rich person has many options and is thus pickier. Women can be picky because they have an abundance of good options. Guys are not picky because they don't. A very high-value guy can afford to be pickier because he has more good options availabl…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/25 11:49 PM
15

I feel like it's clearly the opposite. Everyone agrees that women have higher standards than men. This naturally implies that high value men are fairly common (hence women can afford to be picky) while high value women are not (hence why men will take pretty much anything). Or, if you want to see this in a more empirical sense, women who men like being around are rare, so a woman who is easygoing and fun to be around can easily get a pretty high value guy even if she isn't attractive. Meanwhile,…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/25 07:59 AM
2

To me, the root of the problem basically seems to be this. Men have zero issues being physical with a woman who is a 4 if they get along well. Women on the other hand seem to require a guy to be 7+ or they have zero desire to have sex (this is probably not universally true but many people here express this kind of sentiment). I think some of this is biological (men have higher testosterone levels and thus a higher sex drive, so getting them in the mood for sex is easier), but some of it is also …
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/25 05:48 PM
2

While there may be some men for whom this is true (though IMO, you probably shouldn't be friends with them), I think for the vast majority this is incorrect. One of the key differences between men and women is that men generally don't have any issue being attracted to a potential partner if they wish to be. "I like this girl but there's just no spark there, I don't get excited by the idea of doing physical stuff with her" is something I've virtually never heard from a guy. There's a reason you n…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/25 07:57 AM
1

I've said this so many times I'm starting to sound like a broken record, but it's because men tend to have fewer friends and thus they prioritize "friend traits" in a partner more than women do. Most guys are looking for their partner to also fulfill the "best friend" role, so if they have a girl who's a really good friend that seems like a prime relationship opportunity. Women generally tend to already have a couple really good friends so they don't need their boyfriend to fulfill that role to …
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/25 07:34 AM
1

Incidentally, I'm not saying you should pursue something with someone if you feel that there's no chemistry there. That can happen. I'm just saying you shouldn't assume there won't be any chemistry before you've been in a romantic situation. It's worth noting I was talking more about someone you meet in a non-romantic setting first (ie, school, work, a club, etc), whereas it sounds like you're talking more about online dating, which is definitely a little different, because there people are spec…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/25 10:59 AM
2

Hypergamy doesn't really work. The problem is if your partner has higher desirability than you, they can replace you extremely easily. As such, to keep a highly desirable partner, you yourself must become equally desirable. You can kinda get away with a bit of this by selecting a highly compatible partner, that is, someone who would assess your desirability as being higher than an average person would. This essentially allows you to get a slightly better partner than you might truly "deserve" be…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/25 10:02 AM
1

I feel like logically the answer is yes and it's true for both genders, however it only applies if the person is REALLY hot. There's a very simple explanation for this. Being really hot takes a lot of work. There's only so much time in the day. If they're putting all of that time into their appearance it's not going to other things. A person who has average appearance but is a comparably hard worker will surpass them in most other areas simply because they have more time available. There are als…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/25 09:50 AM
1

It's not, but I also see where you're coming from. The issue here is that because the mind plays so heavily into attraction, your outlook actually influences how you experience it. So if you believe that you could never feel attracted to someone if you weren't attracted to them initially, for you that will actually be true, because that belief will override the elements that create attraction (ie, you will not feel any anticipation towards this hypothetical date because you will already believe …
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/25 09:43 AM
2

Then they think about getting more sex, obviously. To answer your question about what do you do after you finally land a relationship, the answer is that you then have to maintain that relationship, which is at least as much of a challenge if not moreso than getting it in the first place. A lot of people get complacent after they get married or start living together and those relationships will generally fail. It requires effort from both parties to keep things interesting and keep your bond str…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/25 09:33 AM
1

"Lie to them? Just mechanicaly go through the moves without actually feeling it? First I have to feel the desire before I let him touch me." It sounds like your hypothetical partner in this situation is someone you don't really like, which indeed almost certainly won't go anywhere. This requires a situation where you actually want there to be something there. "Let's try to make things a bit physical and see if we enjoy it" isn't really a lie, it's an experiment. I also think that while I wouldn'…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/25 09:28 AM
1

I actually think you can to some extent if the interpersonal attraction is strong enough. There is definitely a mental component to attraction, things like anticipation and fantasy definitely play a role. If you both really want there to be something physical there, you'll probably be able to figure something out. For example, you could say something like "Why don't we go out for dinner this weekend and then we can go back to your place and watch a movie and cuddle. You can get a little frisky w…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/25 08:53 AM
2

It's honestly very simple advice. What it really boils down to is "prioritize compatibility over appearance". This is fairly obviously good advice, as every study ever shows that couples who have a high degree of interpersonal compatibility have vastly higher rates of successful relationships and higher rates of relationship satisfaction. Of course, people are free to date whomever they want, but other people are also free to make fun of them if they make clearly bad choices. For example, if you…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/25 01:36 AM
2

I feel like a lot of this stems from a misunderstand of how men date. It is stated frequently in the comments here that the difference between the bad boy and the nice guy is that the bad boy is more upfront about his desires while the nice guy hides them. This is false. The actual difference is that the bad boy is a man who is seeking a STR while the nice guy is seeking a LTR. When it comes to a short term relationship, the only thing that matters is looks. This is why the bad boy is upfront ab…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/25 06:25 PM
6

I don't think it's the fault of their parents or anything because so much has changed. Not just in terms of how people date, but also when. I'm old, but in my parent's generation, marrying around age 21 was very common. It's now virtually unheardof. Actually, I think part of the problem is many people have the expectation that they should meet someone by that time when actually very few people do these days. People will think "I haven't had a date by 25 I'm the world's biggest loser", but realis…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/25 10:17 AM
4

100%. You know what happens to people who have a great experience on a dating site and meet a great partner? They stop using the dating site. For you to remain a customer you have to remain unhappy. Never support a business whose primary revenue stream is your suffering.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/25 10:14 AM
1

I don't think there's much doubt that many of the beliefs commonly held here are influenced by dating apps. For example, the idea that the vast majority of women would refuse to date or at least be extremely dissatisfied with a man who's not at least 6 feet tall. This is clearly untrue for the majority (speaking as someone who is under 5'9"), but it likely is true for a handful of women who make heavy use of dating apps. This is logical if you think about it, a woman who isn't totally shallow st…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/25 06:04 AM
1

Great sex certainly never hurt a relationship. It's just not enough on its own, because you can only have so much sex. If you don't get along outside the bedroom it's eventually going to fall apart.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/25 08:06 PM
1

One of the most significant ones is being fun to be around. As I've noted previously in other posts, one thing that guys overwhelmingly want in a partner is for her also to be a good friend (largely because most men don't have many friends, so they want their girlfriend to also fulfill the "close friend" role). Of course, "being fun" is kind of vague. It's essentially a collection of many different personality traits, some of which are controllable and some aren't. One of the most directly contr…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/25 10:03 PM
3

It's actually a super easy question to answer. "Name something interesting that you've done". If you can't think of anything, you're boring. That said, hopefully this doesn't apply to too many people. I think some people have a somewhat related problem where there are interesting things about them, but they're embarrassed to talk about them, so they come off as boring. Don't be embarrassed! If someone thinks whatever it is that's interesting about you is lame, that won't work out, but there's a …
/r/PurplePillDebate06/01/25 07:42 AM
11

I think this is one of the biggest disconnects between men and women. Women tend to see friendship and relationships as totally separate, but for men, they are very highly related if not outright dependent on each other. It's not the case that a man isn't really your friend because he's interested in you, he's interested in you because you are a good friend. A lot of this comes down to differences in the ways men and women socialize. As we've seen from many studies, most men have very few or eve…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/01/25 07:22 AM
1

I think most of the advice that was given was good for getting more opportunities, but it's still never really a guarantee. There are things you can do to better your chances, but there's always some luck involved.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/25 08:35 AM
1

Sure, when they get lucky. Long dry spells are also common. It is true that the best way to find a match in 6 months would just be "put yourself out there" because it's basically just luck at that point and the best you can do is maximize the number of chances. A more reliable approach will take longer to pay off.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/01/25 04:56 PM
4

This is a trick question that has no solution. The problem is the stipulation that it has to be within 6 months. An average guy with a limited social circle and no romantic prospects simply does not have any consistent way of finding a partner within that timeframe. There's plenty of reasonable advice that will yield some benefit in 1-2 years, but realistically he will find a partner the way almost all average guys do, via a chance encounter where they happen to hit it off. As such, the optimal …
/r/PurplePillDebate03/01/25 08:41 AM
1

I'm 40ish and in a long term relationship, no kids though. I also get the impression that a lot of people here are pretty young, because they believe a lot of the things I did when I was around that age. I can understand where they're coming through because I went through it as well, but things do get better. A lot of it is just changes in society. People (women especially) are staying in education longer and thus aren't really looking for relationships until later in life, resulting in a pretty…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/12/24 06:59 AM
8

It's sort of inherently obvious that you shouldn't take advice about how to do something from someone who has never done it. It'd be like having someone who has never rode a bike teach you how to ride one. Maybe they've seen someone ride a bike before, but it's far more logical to just ask someone who has actually ridden a bike. That said, the vast majority of dating advice is useless. If you're getting into the level of granularity of specific pick up lines to use or specific ways to approach y…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/24 06:04 AM
0

Shyness isn't generally a big turnoff for women in my experience, in fact some women prefer that. What it does however is act as a limiting factor on the number of women they will meet, and thus the number of opportunities they will have, which may result in a similar lack of romantic success. A very introverted person might also miss or misinterpret the subtle signals that women send to men that they're interested in and miss opportunities that way as well. Also, flipping the genders here, most…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/24 05:51 AM
1

You're completely right and I agree, both men and women have achieved more independence from each other (for men, it's more about the massive amount of free and high quality pornographic content freeing them from the need for a partner for sexual gratification). This logically leads to people being pickier about partners and only accepting very high-quality partners who significantly enhance their quality of life. However, this is also a problem. I'm one of the lucky few who actually has such a …
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/24 07:09 AM
32

Intelligence / Insight. Something I value highly in a partner is that they're interesting to talk to. If we're having a conversation and a woman says something really thought-provoking that never occurred to me before, that really gets my attention. This is something my current partner does really well, because she's extremely smart and creative. Interestingly, she has mentioned that she values this pretty highly as well.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/24 05:17 PM
1

This question is so silly it's difficult for me to respond to it without being mean. I'll just say that once you've had 2-3 partners you'll realize this is completely irrelevant. If you can't enjoy sex with your current partner because you're too stuck on your past partners even though those partners are long gone, that's on you. As you get older, there's a very good chance that the best sex of your life is behind you, but as long as you're still having a good time that's really all that matters…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/10/24 07:53 AM
1

I'm going to go somewhat against the grain here and say that you should support your child unconditionally except in the face of overwhelming evidence. Why? Because children need to know that their family will always love and support them. Imagine you were in trouble and you went to your mom and said "Mom, I need help" and her response was "Don't worry honey, I'll remain impartial". We all face challenges in our lives, and knowing that our family has our back is key to getting through them. If y…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/24 06:20 AM
1

I've been friends with a few (and this is not me being mean, they would freely have self-described this way). They were generally fun, friendly, and pretty, so it wasn't hard to see why guys were into them. I never slept with them since I'm only into LTR, but we did flirt and talk about sex and such. No real complaints, they were nice people. I would also note that I'm not against dating a woman who was formerly promiscuous, assuming they're now looking for something serious and they've been tes…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/10/24 11:15 PM
2

This seems like a weird argument. For starters, how young are we talking here? Teens / early 20s? Everyone is broke at that point, including women, so at this point "not wanting to date someone broke" is the same as "not wanting to date at all". And that was, at least in my experience, often the case, with women who were still in high school / university wanting to focus on their studies over dating, so they would turn down basically everyone. This was not necessarily them having totally unreaso…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/24 06:42 PM
3

This generally matches my own experience except for #2. I always lived with my parents (well, just one surviving parent in the later years) and no woman ever gave me grief for it. If they had, I probably would have told them to go to hell, like sure, I'm willing to move out if we're going to move in together, but expecting me to abandon my family for a first date? Get over yourself. Still, it was never an issue, most women were like "oh, my family is pretty tight-knit too". Maybe it's a regional…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/24 07:20 AM
–

According to the CDC, <1.5% of men are virgins by age 40, which suggests that few if any men are so undesirable as to never have any prospects in their lifetime (keep in mind this value would also include people who abstain from sex by choice). Even those who are legitimately bottom 1% can probably escape that range via self improvement, since they only have to be better than 1 out of every 50 men to be safely outside the danger zone. Of course, finding a successful relationship is harder, but t…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/24 06:58 AM
1

It sounds like you two really understand each other, which is great. Hope everything goes well!
/r/PurplePillDebate29/09/24 08:27 AM
2

In some ways, I almost feel like the best sign of true love is that they don't want to get married. At least where I'm from, marriage is basically a couple minor benefits (all of which you also get with a civil union) and a thousand pages of ways the courts will ruin your life if you ever need to separate. I've heard some people describe the primary purpose of marriage as that it forces you to stay together by making separating so unthinkably awful that even being incredibly unhappy is still bet…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/09/24 03:53 AM
1

This is a very complex subject and it's certainly not easy to distill the entirety of human sexuality into a couple paragraphs. Something we can easily say is that good sex is not exclusively the product of a good relationship, as many people who have been in unhealthy relationships that nevertheless had fantastic sex can attest. Particularly in the early stages of a relationship, "new relationship energy" tends to cause a lot of sexual desire that can mask deeper incompatibilities that don't be…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/09/24 03:36 AM
1

The most important thing is to have other things that make you happy. Rejection is always going to hurt, especially if it's someone you really like or you feel you're compatible with. The key is just not to give up, and that's where things like family, friends, pets, hobbies, whatever really help. Give yourself a little time to get over it. There'll be plenty more opportunities in the future.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/24 06:18 AM
2

You'll be fine. Obviously, many women who aren't into casual sex exist. Even among those who have casual sex sometimes, many are open to something more serious if they're interested in the guy and he's only into LTR. I've known several, one of whom is my current partner (and we've been together in a monogamous relationship for many years now).
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/24 06:01 AM
1

I agree that each person should have their own space, I just don't agree that it should be the bedroom. It's true that even within a relationship, partners need to maintain some degree of their own independence and some of that involves having a space that is yours where you can have some time to yourself. Personally I prefer this to be an "office" where each partner can have their own computer, though of course you can use it for whatever you prefer. When I was a child my dad had a "workshop" w…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/09/24 02:41 AM
11

There are many women who are like I was. You just don't see them. So true. I've posted something similar before. Guys always complain that girls only want the top 20% of men but they don't realize that they do it too. To be honest, it probably applied to me as well, I mainly just had my eyes opened because one of them approached me one time and we dated for a while. To be honest, I would not have suspected she was someone who basically never got any interest from guys, but what was even more sur…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/09/24 05:45 PM
2

By far the biggest sympathy I have towards women is regarding the pressure on them to be thin, and the dehumanization of those who are not. Overweight women suffer from almost all of the issues that men do, but no one has any sympathy for them. You see this double standard all the time here: "Women are so shallow! Studies have shown repeatedly that they only care about height! Why do they say they care about personality when they don't! We men would never refuse to date someone for such shallow …
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/24 04:19 PM
3

I think the most sad part of this is the effect it has on male self-esteem. Most men know only rejection in their early lives and many come to the conclusion that they are totally undesirable and have no hope of ever finding a relationship (I would guess probably at least 30% of men think this about themselves, it's a massive number). So much of the hate and anger towards women (and more successful men) is fuelled by this sense of despair. But the most tragic thing is that there's a decent chanc…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/24 04:10 PM
1

Marriage, at least in my view, is essentially a vow of commitment to your partner and your relationship. A key portion of this is a commitment to keeping your relationship strong and making your partner happy and sex is a key component of both, so I do broadly agree with the idea that maintaining a healthy sex life is part of the marital responsibilities for both genders. However, of course this goes both ways. For people who complain about their partner not wanting to have sex often enough, are…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/24 03:19 PM
1

I had pretty much given up on women by age 20 or so, having experienced nothing but rejection all through high school and early university. Like most people, I had the experience of seeing mostly jerks and bullies get girls and hearing all the talk about how you have to play "the game" and never let a girl know you're interested in them and I didn't have much interest in doing that. Right now, you're probably think "lol at the idea of giving up by 20, you don't know anything about life by then".…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/24 05:35 AM
2

This is going to sound old-fashioned / lame, but almost successful relationship I know of met through school or work. I think this is because these settings allow people to interact and form friendships naturally. This is one of the greenest flags you can get - a person whom you get along with well and enjoy talking to has a good foundation for a potential relationship (of course, this is still absolutely not a guarantee of success, it's just a good start). Any other setting which also has this …
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/24 05:48 PM
3

I've sort of had this experience, but nowhere near as drastic as stated in the OP. If we assume the question is a somewhat more reasonable "amazing sex but poor compatibility and a bunch of other problems" or "just ok sex but everything else is phenomenal" it's the latter for sure. Sex is awesome, but you can only have so much sex, how you do the rest of the time is ultimately more important.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/24 05:17 PM
2

I've sort of had this experience, but nowhere near as drastic as stated in the OP. If we assume the question is a somewhat more reasonable "amazing sex but poor compatibility and a bunch of other problems" or "just ok sex but everything else is phenomenal" it's the latter for sure. Sex is awesome, but you can only have so much sex, how you do the rest of the time is ultimately more important.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/24 05:17 PM
1

"The reality is those women aren't worth your time. I know it seems tough, but if you want a happy and lasting relationship you need to find a partner who shares your values and appreciates you as a person. They are out there, until you meet one just focus on becoming the kind of person you would want to date, so that you can be the kind of partner they're looking for, too". Essentially the advice I've lived by for my whole life. And I did eventually find that person. Still, this advice is proba…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/24 12:50 AM
–

If it's any consolation, there seems to be a near-universal reaction of absolute horror to that story, so I think most men still find this quite abhorrent.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/24 12:34 AM
4

Time for a rare post where I show why I have the purple and not the blue flair. I am extremely pro porn. To me, porn primarily exists to give men sexual agency, by allowing them to have a somewhat fulfilling sex life without a partner. This is vital for giving them the means to leave bad relationships, in a similar way that women having economic independence frees them from being tied to partners who are abusive. Being able to live a fulfilling life while being single is essential for healthy re…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/24 04:52 PM
1

I think this is the best response. It is absolutely possible, but it also won't happen for everyone. It's good to have aspirations and goals, but you also have to be prepared for the possibility that they might not come to pass. A good general approach is to do your best to enjoy your life as it comes. If you have a wonderful relationship with a partner for 5 years, then it ends, unquestionably that will hurt. But rather than looking at this as a waste of time, it's worth remembering that you go…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/24 04:23 PM
1

I feel like this is sort of trivially obvious, you will attract people who want what they think you have to offer. If everyone you attract is only interested in sex, it's because they think you don't offer anything else. Of course, there's several reasons why this could be the case, assuming you think you actually do offer more than this. The first is that you simply may not be communicating your good points well enough. This is actually a problem a lot of men struggle with, where they're too sh…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/24 08:01 AM
2

This seems to make sense, and the fact that heavier women are more available is certainly a plus, but it's not generally the main appeal for people who are into that. For starters, the notion that being thin is desirable is a relatively recent phenomenon. For much of human history, food insolvency has been the norm, this is why our bodies have fat reserves in the first place. Historically, having a heavier build was seen a sign of status, because it meant you both had enough resources to eat amp…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/24 03:42 AM
2

I've mentioned this before in another topic, but I think it's worth posting again. A lot of the issue is that men and women socialize very differently. One of the biggest differences is that on average, men have significantly fewer friends than women. This is seemingly something biologically innate where creating and maintaining friendships is harder for men than it is for women. Obviously some exceptions exist of men who either have tons of friends or women who have very few but statistically t…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/24 04:51 PM
1

See, the problem is that you're looking at it solely in terms of "getting your foot in the door", ie, getting a woman to agree to go on a date with you. I have some bad news for you, once you pass that test, you have to pass the vastly harder challenge of turning this into a successful relationship and then maintaining that relationship. Self-improvement is enormously helpful with that aspect of things. I'm sure your argument will be something along the lines of "who cares if most men will never…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/24 05:41 AM
1

The OP's final point is basically right. Men consider a partner with similar interests to be very desirable, so, if you want to have your pick of men, find a hobby that they like. This does not work as well with women, as they are generally somewhat more indifferent to shared interests. I've speculated in the past that this is likely because women generally tend to have more friends than men, so they probably have more people to share their interests with already and thus it's not as high of a p…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/24 05:29 AM
1

To some women for sure. The OP probably loves cats, so seeing a man who is good with cats has a lot of appeal to her, but to a woman who's allergic to cats it's probably a big turnoff! I think the idea behind this post though is more about the subconscious effect that seeing a man who's good with animals has on women, with the idea being that this suggests to them that they would make a good father and thus are a more desirable partner. This idea has been around forever (this is where the idea o…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/24 04:29 AM
2

The thing is you have to play to your strengths. If you are a socially awkward nerd, you're probably completely atrocious at cold approaching, and the types of partners who you would be compatible with also likely aren't open to it. Your best option is probably to have a female friend set you up with someone. While it's true that your female friends may not be single or interested, they probably know at least a few friends who are looking for someone. Pretty much every woman I've ever known had …
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/24 04:50 AM
17

As someone who has been in this situation several times, I feel it's not really comparable. When this happens, it's clear that it's not about you, that person just isn't attracted to that gender and there's nothing you can do about it, so there's not usually any hurt feelings or lasting awkwardness. It's much more awkward when it is someone of your preferred gender (I've been there too), because then it's clear that you view that person as such a nonviable partner that you're not even willing to…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/24 04:17 PM
1

I'm going to out myself as an old dork here, but Kermit and Miss Piggy from the Muppets are one of my favourites. It's a surprisingly complex and non-idealized take for its time. Kermit does not fall for Miss Piggy right away. They both have their own lives outside of each other and their goals and ambitions don't always align. They face a fair number of relationship struggles and neither of them is consistently the one at fault. And yet, for all of the challenges they face, there are plenty of …
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/24 07:09 PM
1

I feel like it's sort of obvious that porn is not the cause of ED or PE, since these things have been extremely common since long before porn became as widely available as it is now. I would also particularly like to applaud the statement at the end of the OP about how failure to perform in men often has psychological or physiological causes that are rarely understood these days.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/24 07:34 AM
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Here's the way I look at it. Physical appearance requirements are one type of pickiness. For example, if I am unwilling to date any woman who isn't exactly 5'6" tall with brown hair, a 20 inch waist and D cup breasts, this limits my dating options significantly. As such, logically, the pickier I am about looks, the less picky I can afford to be about anything else while still maintaining a realistic chance of finding a partner who meets that criteria. This is why people who are extremely picky a…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/24 07:25 AM
1

The biggest problem is that if you're exactly the same, you have the same flaws. While similar interests are great, it's generally most optimal to have somewhat complimentary skills so you can cover for each other's weaknesses. I imagine you could probably still make it work, but you'd probably have to be willing to work to overcome some of your weaknesses in a way that you might not otherwise have to.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/24 11:12 PM
1

We don't tend to go overboard with the holidays too much. We're old, and we just don't need too many things anymore, so rather than stressing out a lot trying to find something perfect to buy we typically just get some kind of small gift and then spend some quality time together. I'm a pretty good cook, so I'll often make a nice dinner and a cake or something like that. Sometimes one of us stumbles upon a great gift by chance, but a lot of the time it's just candy or chocolate or something and t…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/24 10:49 PM
1

Like the vast majority of things this sub talks about I think this dichotomy is largely nonsense. For starters, there's a significant misconception about what the alpha and beta traits actually represent. It's commonly thought to mean the alpha traits are ones that cause sexual attraction, whereas the beta traits make someone a practical mate but are irrelevant to attraction, but this is incorrect, the alpha and beta labels are simply categories for traits that women generally find desirable and…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/24 05:43 PM
2

I've tried to come up with a response to this for like an hour, because I do sort of agree with the OP in that I feel it's nice but not totally mandatory, yet no matter what I try to write it never feels right. The truth is, I have this with my current partner. While we don't agree on absolutely everything, we definitely share most things and the core of our relationship has always been our rock-solid friendship. This comes with a lot of advantages. One of the big ones is that I can literally sp…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/24 06:17 AM
1

I think by far the biggest one is the idea that physical attractiveness is the only thing that matters. I think it's fairly obvious that this is not the case. Here's a fun exercise. Go to the mall or any other place where people congregate and look at couples. For how many of them would you describe both partners as highly attractive? You'll probably quickly come to the conclusion that most people just look kind of average or unremarkable, yet they still pair up anyway. Certainly, having good lo…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/24 12:40 AM
0

Porn use is so universal among men that it's pointless to even discuss men who don't use it. You'd be limiting yourself to 1% of men tops, and that 1% is probably lying about it.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/24 12:01 AM
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I think a lot of it is that men tend to have fewer friends on average than women, so they want their partner to basically also fulfill the role of a friend, but women don't find that to be as important as they typically have more friends to rely upon.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/05/24 10:57 PM
1

Indeed, that's what I was alluding to at the end, I just think it's a funny observation that a girl who acts like a guy is considered very desirable.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/05/24 07:05 PM
1

Obviously if you take any guy and convert them into a straight girl, they would absolutely slay, because the secret to dating is that guys want to date girls who are basically guys. Let's consider this profile. "I am a girl who likes to drink beer, eat chips, and play video games. I don't care much for 'girl stuff' like fashion, plays, or chick flicks, and I'm not into feminism. I don't have much relationship experience, but I love to watch movies (particularly sci-fi and fantasy) and cuddle and…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/05/24 04:17 PM
1

I think what the OP is describing is correct if both partners are highly rational. Obviously, if you have a good relationship already, it doesn't make much sense to cheat, because it would likely destroy that good relationship and even if you get another relationship it's not likely to be as good. Therefore they will choose not to cheat. Of course, this all goes out the window with partners who have low rationality. People who are highly spontaneous or impulsive usually don't fully consider the …
/r/PurplePillDebate10/05/24 03:42 PM
1

I suppose it depends on the person, since obviously a more desirable person can find another partner more easily. However, even if you can find a new partner, you then have to maintain that relationship instead. The difficult work of actually maintaining a relationship can't be avoided unless you just want an endless string of one-night stands, and few people can pull that off, even putting aside questions of whether or not such a lifestyle is a fulfilling one.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/05/24 03:21 PM
1

It's easy to be cynical. I don't blame anyone for it. Heck, I usually am. But it won't make you happy. That said, there's nothing wrong with enjoying videos games or romance novels or cats, if those things make you happy. Being happy is the purpose of life. Don't stress out over whatever goals you have to the point that you lose sight of that.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/05/24 06:28 AM
1

While birth rates have fallen, it's certainly not that uncommon. I guess I'd recommend to be reasonably upfront about wanting to have a family, since it's definitely a key aspect of relationship compatibility, and people's opinions on that aren't likely to change too much. Might as well find out right away if that will work out.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/24 03:56 AM
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An hour. Also, she was the one who made the first move. Admittedly, we had chatted quite a lot previously before meeting up. We spent a while quietly watching some show together and she was like "this is awkward, let's just have sex". Everything was fine after that, and we're still together many years later.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/24 03:53 AM
1

I don't think they're lying but it's a classic case of logic vs emotion. I feel like logically speaking, obviously the human is vastly better. At least 99% of humans would never harm another human. By contrast, bears are among the most dangerous animals on the planet. People who don't understand math will claim that far more women are killed by humans than bears, but this is because there are millions of times more human to human interactions than bear to human interactions. If we normalize the …
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/24 05:50 PM
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I've actually long given out the advice that if women want to play life on EZ mode, all they have to do is learn to play video games. Even if you're like a 2 in looks if you play Dark Souls you can have your pick of any man.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/24 09:02 PM
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My hot take is that many of the things this sub says about women are correct, but only in regards to women who are active users of online dating apps. Online dating appeals most to a specific type of person, generally those who want to play the field and aren't tremendously interested in settling down, those who don't fit this criteria either never use the apps at all, or quickly meet someone or get discouraged and stop using the app. So when this sub complains about things like "all women only …
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/24 09:00 PM
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I think this applies to everyone, both men and women. I can certainly remember a number of sexual encounters which were of extremely high quality, some of which aren't with my current partner. However, the good thing is that quality sex isn't wholly or even predominantly based on physical attributes. Communication, technique, familiarity, and trust are also all major factors to how good the sex is. So I wouldn't worry too much if you're not immediately the best lay your partner has ever had, if …
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/24 06:06 PM
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As many people have noted, this hasn't really changed that much. If you ask your grandparents (assuming they're still alive) you'd probably find out that they also married for love. Perhaps they felt slightly more pressure to marry, but they still had enough choice in their partner not to have to marry someone that they didn't care for. I think what has changed the most is that these days, people are marrying significantly later. Your grandparents probably married at like 18-22. These days, almo…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/24 03:49 PM
2

I'm a believer that you should usually try to accommodate your partner's needs when it comes to sex. Obviously there can be exceptions, like if you're sick / in pain / whatever, but if it's just "eh I kinda don't feel like it" you should probably try to do it anyway. This doesn't mean you shouldn't take no for an answer, but I'd say it should generally be understood that yes is the correct response in most situations. This probably sounds enormously non-PC, but there's just good science behind i…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/24 04:02 PM
2

Here's the biggest problem with dating apps. They do not want you to find a good partner. Not just "they don't really care", they actively do not want you to find what you're looking for and be happy. Why? Because OLD is a business, and people who find successful relationships don't continue to use online dating sites, and thus no longer pay for subscriptions or view ads. Sure, they need the occasional success story for advertising, but they want the vast majority of their audience to be stuck t…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/24 03:36 PM
4

I've been trying to find a way to word this post that doesn't sound insufferably arrogant but I don't think it can be done, so I'm just going to keep it short. No, but I've also never met anyone I'd put in that category. Big gaps in intelligence are very bad for a relationship because it will typically lead to people having almost no common interests and nothing to talk about. It's also really bad if they argue, since obviously the more intelligent person would virtually always be right, but the…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/24 03:08 PM
7

I don't have much to say other than that I agree. I suffered from something very similar myself. It puts far too much pressure on you (and your partner, if you do get into a relationship), which makes finding a successful relationship that much harder. Unfortunately, it's probably the case that no one who needs this advice will really listen to it. I certainly didn't. Some things you can really only learn through experience. Luckily, life doesn't just stop when you turn 30, no matter how worried…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/24 06:35 AM
2

If your girlfriend enjoys this and you don't, who's really the dominant one?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/24 06:23 AM
1

I mean, if you went the university route (which is the option that delays peaking), you probably do have the potential to earn decent money, but it's certainly not the only area where you can improve. Confidence and experience is certainly also a big one. Getting out into the real world, being financially independent, having to learn to take care of yourself, maybe having a relationship or two under your belt, it makes you a significantly more attractive prospect then when you're a broke college…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/24 09:12 PM
1

I'm around 40 myself. I still look pretty much the same as I did at 20 minus a bit of grey hair, but I take fairly good care of myself. For people who don't generally eat healthy or get much exercise, I would say they started to see the effects of it around 35. Still, in your late 20s / early 30s you don't have a lot to worry about.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/24 09:05 PM
31

I don't really see the problem. If she's had boyfriends, then obviously she's not really struggling with dating, she's probably just having trouble meeting the right person, which happens. I would of course support her emotionally if it was something that bothered her a lot, but to me personally I don't see a lot of cause for concern.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/24 06:15 AM
7

If the decline to your looks is slow, it can easily be offset by improvements in other areas. Most guys don't have significant declines in their looks until they're around 40 anyway.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/24 06:10 AM
0

I feel like it's sort of obvious that there are different lifestyle choices that result in peaking at different times. A good example would be university. If you go to university (particularly if it's a difficult university or major), you peak later, as you're not likely going to have time for a lot else during your university days. If you aim to get a job right out of high school and thus don't work super hard in school and instead focus on socializing / sports / working out / etc, you peak ear…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/24 06:09 AM
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I don't quite agree. If you're like 5/10 in everything, people will just find you boring. I think the key is that you need to have one or two areas where you're like a 9/10, be at least average in most other things, then have at most a couple areas where you're like a 3/10. The key is then to date people who value your strong areas highly and don't care about your weak areas too much. I also think that generally, if you are atrocious at some thing, attempting to improve that thing a lot is proba…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/04/24 07:05 AM
2

I'm married for 8 years with what physically most men would call a landwhale (and i say really big). She still had sex, dates and relationships (not good, but still had), and her tinder at the time was full of requests and messages. I would guess (particularly since you've been together for 8 years, so it sounds like the relationship is doing well) that she probably has a number of strong positive personality traits, like being smart, funny, kind, easygoing, passionate, fun to be around, being i…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/24 04:05 PM
2

I would never cheat while being in a stable relationship due to the "bird in the hand" logic. Stable relationships are not easy to come to by. If you ditch the one you have for a potential new relationship, there's a very good chance that the new one will fail and you'll be left with nothing. This is, incidentally, what has happened in virtually every situation I've ever personally seen where someone has cheated on their long-term partner. The new flame quickly dies out and that person is left s…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/24 03:22 PM
1

They're really not. I've known quite a few women who were 35+ and had never been on a single date, and had been hit on at best once or twice in their lives, and all of them knew many more women who were in the same boat. Most of them had tried OLD and got basically no interest, maybe one or two matches that never went anywhere. It's always funny to me how guys here will always complain that women only go for the top 20% of men, then say they would never consider anyone who was even slightly over…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/24 03:06 PM
2

I'm a strong believer that the best thing that could change in regards to dating is better education about relationships. Most people get their ideas about relationships from media like movies and TV, which obviously has no grounding in reality in the vast majority of cases and leaves people with unrealistic expectations and significant knowledge gaps about how to actually act in a real relationship. This leads to many relationships failing, resulting in more people being lonely / unhappy and mo…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/24 02:56 PM
2

There's a single, highly relevant situation where what the TC is talking about applies, which is when you know someone of you preferred sex whom you get along with pretty well but you never considered them as a potential partner before. Perhaps one or both of you either wasn't looking or wasn't single when you met, but the situation has changed and you are both available now. This is almost always worth exploring if you think you might be compatible, even if you don't initially think you have mu…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/24 06:49 AM
2

As others have noted, this has been pretty common for a while now. I'm pretty old, but growing up I never thought I'd be the kind of person to have sex on the first date, but that ended up happening in every relationship I've been in, and in each case the woman initiated it. It was fine though, like I wouldn't say it impacted the relationship negatively in any way. I suppose in a certain sense it's a good icebreaker and it helps get around some of the initial awkwardness. Plus, we had known each…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/24 02:22 AM
1

Generally when I talk about being young I mean like 24 or younger. I think generally most people start thinking about settling down around age 25. Of course, not everyone finds something right away, so there's still tons of people looking at 30. It is true that self-esteem issues that form early can be difficult to break, which is why I want to let people know that what they're going through is fairly normal and that things do get better, so they can have the confidence to succeed when those opp…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/24 08:24 PM
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I can only give my own perspective on this, though I think it's somewhat generalizable. I kind of went through something like this in my youth. I had a circle of friends in my youth with a couple girls in it. We all got along pretty well, though we pretty much always hung out as a group. A couple times, I tried asking one of the girls if they wanted to go see a movie or hang out with just the two of us, but they always said no. It was really nothing super serious, just a kind of "hey, we get alo…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/24 08:18 PM
1

It might be a bit less true when they're young, since people don't think much about compatibility at that age, but I don't personally know any married couples that fit that pattern, despite knowing a lot of tomboys.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/04/24 06:02 AM
1

I pretty much agree with the article, I've also mentioned the phenomenon where men and women need each other substantially less compared to the past, which will result in people being much pickier about entering into relationships. This will, of course, leave many if not most people single, and the article is probably correct that they will misattribute this to problems with the other gender when the reality is that it's just statistics. It seems like a clear corollary from this is that if do wa…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/04/24 09:02 PM
10

I feel like it's fairly obvious you just go for a tomboy. Many tomboys tend to end up with more feminine men for the same reason that masculine men end up with feminine women - it provides a good mix of life skills and interpersonal compatibility. Just make sure you know how to cook, that's often a strong attractor.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/04/24 06:32 AM
1

That assumes that intelligence and kindness are totally uncorrelated, which they're almost certainly not. Most of the factors that would cause someone to fall out of the top 25% for kindness are things like a lack of introspection or empathy, or holding bigoted or overly dogmatic beliefs, which are all inversely correlated with intelligence. That's not to say that smart jerks don't exist, they certainly do, but I would guess the number of people meeting the top 5% intelligence / top 25% kindness…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/03/24 09:13 AM
1

This is also the exact advice I give to everyone, and it has also worked decently well for me. I'm pretty much the polar opposite of what TRP says guys should be like (short, unmuscular, feminine, etc) and I've done reasonably well. It's not like I've been spoiled for choice but there's been a few women interested and I currently have a wonderful partner that I'm very happy with. I'm sure some people will claim to have no strengths, but this is probably false, it's just that actually many people…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/03/24 08:35 AM
1

Intelligence > Kindness > Confidence Obviously, you have to have both Intelligence and Kindness to some degree, but I think it's more important to have top percentile intelligence over top percentile kindness. Like I probably want someone who has top 5% intelligence, but I'd accept top 25% kindness. Confidence is underrated, people with extremely low confidence can create a lot of stress for the relationship, but it's still clearly 3rd overall.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/24 03:34 AM
1

I think the big misconception is that you're either attracted to someone instantly or not at all. In reality familiarity plays a big part of attraction, someone you associate with positive things will seem much more attractive to you than a random person you don't know at all. If you're ever in a situation where you want to be attracted to someone (say, a good friend that you like a lot and you want to see if it could be more than that) but you're not sure if they do it for you, just put yoursel…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/24 04:58 PM
1

I think anyone who is actively looking for a relationship will naturally consider their social circle first. Interpersonal compatibility is completely vital for a relationship to succeed, so if you have someone you already know you're compatible with that's a huge plus. To me, the big divide here seems to come from the fact that most men start looking for a relationship significantly earlier than women do. I would say that most men are actively looking to find a partner starting from about 16 ye…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/24 04:51 PM
1

I feel that the friendzone largely exists as a result of people buying into unrealistic ideas about love and relationships pushed by Hollywood. In this case, it's the idea that "when you meet 'the one', you'll know right away". Many people who have had successful relationships can tell you that this is not always the case, but there's still a persistent belief that there must be immediate and overwhelming attraction or there never will be. In reality, studies have shown that familiarity is a sig…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/24 04:34 PM
1

Of all the dating advice I've seen given here, this post probably most closely matches my own experience and beliefs. I've always felt like people here drastically overstate the importance of looks. Sure, if you have incredible looks, you can get away with a lot, but most people don't and still get dates and relationships just fine. As long as you can set yourself apart from the masses in some way that's enough to get people interested. "But", I hear you saying, "I really only like playing games…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/24 03:55 PM
1

To me, I would say that if there is an issue with modern dating, it is not a lack of romantic opportunities, but a lack of success at capitalizing on those opportunities. There's a number of reasons why this is the case. One of the biggest issues lies with education. Most people get their ideas about relationships from either hollywood or porn, and neither of those provides an even remotely realistic picture of how relationships work. An extremely persistent misconception is that you're a total …
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/24 07:17 AM
1

I wouldn't assume so. For starters, a person who has a lot of money probably also has a lot of power (particularly if they also have status), and power is absolutely a strong turn on for many people. So I wouldn't assume that there's no physical component to the attraction in this case. Secondly, the way this question is worded implies that women have little to no need for sex. While individual needs vary this is generally false and most women will want more sex than "none". Also, just in genera…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/24 10:55 PM
1

I live in an area that's extremely diverse, and pretty much everyone I've ever been involved with was from a different ethnicity than me. I never saw it as that unusual, though there's no question that a relationship between people from vastly different backgrounds does pose some challenges when it comes to things like family, religion, and culture. These things are by no means insurmountable, but it would probably result in a slightly higher rate of relationships not working out. That said, see…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/24 10:45 PM
1

According to the survey I saw, it's actually slightly more common for women to be living paycheck to paycheck than men, but it's only a few percentage points difference. Either way it still applies to well over 50% of women in the US.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/24 10:36 PM
1

I would generally define broke as having little to no disposable income, which does tend to describe most people who live paycheck to paycheck. Perhaps not all (some may simply spend extravagantly), but I think this is a reasonably small percentage of people falling under that 65% threshold.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/24 10:34 PM
1

I've always found that the classic "three types of love" theory describes how it works for me fairly well. First, there's passion. This is pretty self-explanatory. It's the desire to do physical things with your partner and give them pleasure. Then there's friendship, which is about wanting to have fun and share great experiences together. Finally, there's kinship, which is like the kind of love you have for your family, where you always want what's best for them no matter what and even if you'r…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/24 10:31 PM
22

Worth noting that in the US, 65% of people live paycheck to paycheck, so if you answered "no", you've cut your dating opportunities by 2/3rds. Anyway, I have indeed dated someone in this situation (while not being in that situation myself). It never really mattered that much. I guess the one thing was she didn't like me to pay for everything, so if her financial situation was tight at the moment, we would do less expensive stuff like stay in and watch a movie, but I enjoy things like that so it …
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/24 03:47 PM
1

The great irony is there are a ton of nice girls who are don't have any guys asking them out either. You probably know quite a few of them, they're just not people you'd ever really be interested in, because niceness isn't a strong attractor for either gender.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/24 06:00 AM
1

I think a lot of the problem is that the traditional mainstream understanding about relationships is like 50 years out of date. The biggest thing that has changed is that people are spending much longer in school and are thus pairing up later. I see a lot of people who are struggling to date in their teens and they think "something must be wrong with me", but really, the issue is simply that not many people are looking for a relationship at that age and thus will turn down pretty much anyone unl…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/24 05:46 AM
2

To be honest, I have issues with the way the media portrays love, it's usually far too idealized. I think the media gives people the idea that if you're with the right person, you should instantly know and everything will be totally effortless, since this leads people to believe the corollary, which is "if you have any trouble at all or don't instantly fall head over heels for someone, they're not right for you", which I think is a major factor in why we have so much divorce. All relationships t…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/24 02:17 AM
3

My family was always very close. We've had our ups and downs over the years, but we always stuck together. I remember when I was young my dad lost his job and it was a pretty hard time for us, but my dad told me "jobs come and go, but no matter what happens, we'll always have each other". That always kinda stuck with me. Of course, nothing lasts forever. When my mom got very sick, I promised her that I'd take care of my dad, and we've continued to look out for each other now that she's gone. The…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/24 02:12 AM
1

I don't think my mind can really be changed because I feel it's clear that both TRP and TBP offer a version of reality that is too simplistic to properly explain the extremely complex nature of interpersonal relationships. When it comes to TRP, I actually think a fair amount of what they say is actually right... for an extremely small subset of women who use dating apps like tinder to find hookups. These types of apps attract a specific clientele who have certain preferences, however, the vast m…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/24 09:05 AM
2

This is more personal detail than I generally prefer to give, but I'm going to be real here and say that I'm well below average in terms of size. It always bothered me quite a lot, it's definitely pretty lame to hear people say things like "don't worry guys, 5 inches is still totally fine" when you're nowhere near 5 inches, lol. That said, none of the women I've ever been with have said or done anything to suggest it was a problem. You could think "well, maybe they were just being polite", but t…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/02/24 04:31 AM
1

One of the nicest things about being in a relationship is that it can broaden your horizons. It's completely normal to want to share the things you like with your partner, which can allow both of you to experience new things that you might have never done on your own. Of course, you probably won't end up liking everything, and that's okay too. With my partner, I appreciate the effort to share things with me even if I'm not as crazy about things as she is. There's just something sweet about someo…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/24 08:08 AM
0

I think this is probably about right. A few days ago I posted something about how greater independence for men and women has led to both being choosier about potential partners. One result of this is that most people would probably choose to remain single rather than pair up with a very low-quality partner. That said, I think the good news is that it's unlikely that anyone is too far gone to be able to do anything about it. Even if you have significantly below average looks (which we'll assume t…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/24 07:33 PM
1

I do think the concept the OP is referring to is clearly real. I would accredit it to two main things, increases in women's financial independence and the abundance of freely available pornography. In the distant past, men and women mutually needed each other. Women needed men for financial support, and men needed women for sex. As such, people tended to pair up early and it was relatively easy for almost everyone to find a partner. Note that I am not stating that this situation was superior - D…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/24 05:29 PM
9

What you're describing is a "double standard", it has nothing to do with "demisexuality". Demisexuality is a phenomenon where a person experiences little to no sexual desire except for people they already have a close emotional bond with. This is essentially the opposite of the classic "friend zone" concept, where this type of person will always want to establish a close friendship with someone first before considering anything sexual. You could maybe argue that this is the mainstream belief of …
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/24 04:27 PM
1

The way I look at it, happy people don't cheat. I've been in the situation of being in a relationship and having an opposite sex friend who was available, but why would I want to destroy my relationship for that? The "bird in the hand vs two in the bush" adage is very relevant here. I'm not going to gamble on the possibility to have something with someone else when I already have something great, it's just nonsensical from a risk/reward standpoint. The only situation where taking the chance on t…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/24 05:04 PM
11

Don't let this sub fool you, there are tons of guys who are into curvier women. Maybe not quite as many as there are curvy women who would like to find a guy, but pretty much anyone who has a decent number of guy friends knows at least a couple who are into it. And the thing about relationships is the initial impression matters little in the long run. I think when people talk about settling what they typically mean is being willing to date people who may not appear to match their preconceived no…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/24 07:36 AM
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