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Extreme-Vermicelli Archive

View 7 posts and 151 comments by Extreme-Vermicelli on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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193

Do not engage the narcissist, even by talking about him here. It feeds the black hole inside them where humanity should exist
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/08/21 06:23 AM
19

And then we wonder why FDS is viewed by other people as an extreme subreddit that paints all men with the same brush. You acknowledge that HVM exist, right? And that such a HVM can be respectful to his wife and his friends? If not then why are you here? Keep downvoting...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/08/21 01:23 AM
22

Honey I appreciate your concern but I am not in danger. I am close to his wife, godmother to his daughter. This is 20 YEARS of absolutely respectful platonic friendship. Honestly. I am not going to argue this with you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/08/21 01:13 AM
40

It does exist. It's rare, but it does exist. (20 year friendship, he has a wife and kids, he is a brother to me and I am a sister to him)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/08/21 01:07 AM
13

Let me play something sad for him on my tiny violen
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/08/21 07:11 AM
35

🤏🏼 🎻
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/08/21 07:11 AM
5

I'm going to be honest...I downvoted at first before I saw the spoiler 🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/08/21 03:30 PM
18

Almost downvoted this as a gut reflex to that shite 🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/08/21 06:44 AM
2

Time. With time, you accept who you were then and recognise who you are now. There are.. there were so many more factors at play than simply staying. You will reach a point where you are able to be compassionate to that person who stayed, rather than frustrated or bewildered by her, and with that compassion will come forgiveness. Be kind to yourself.
/r/askFDS12/08/21 05:06 AM
138

Yeah and it's us FDS gals who are the unreasonable ones for not wanting to put up with this sheiß 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/08/21 02:34 PM
16

Those who cannot meet one's standards will always feel threatened by them. Deflection and devaluation as a classic defence mechanism
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/08/21 09:30 AM
11

I would recommend staying away from the FB comments though; absolutely awful misrepresentation
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/08/21 08:21 AM
9

Another INFJ in da house! 🙌🏼
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/07/21 03:13 AM
7

https://youtu.be/wcIpwrdfI1c
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/07/21 08:46 AM
33

Funny thing is, that because of his reaction, he told on himself and you probably realised that you don't want to marry him 😉
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/07/21 07:15 AM
37

Yo did you actually SEE how phallic Jeff Bezos' rocket was? Talk about over compensating. The world is covered in symbolic dicks
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/07/21 04:27 AM
12

You didn't eff up. Don't even dare let your thoughts go there. This is ALL on him
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/07/21 04:11 AM
15

I wasted 13 years of my life on my NV abusive ex. But what matters is the present. We are here now, with our eyes open!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/07/21 08:33 AM
9

Don't you threaten me with a good time 🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/07/21 06:56 AM
16

It's an excellent douchery filter. Not standalone, of course, but definitely helps
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/07/21 06:53 AM
7

Derek is fucking toxic
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/07/21 03:41 AM
23

I realised it wasn't an actual waterfall, but the name tickled me 😆
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/07/21 10:00 PM
223

Waterfalls!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/07/21 09:49 AM
61

Exactly. The definition of insecure is needing to prove something to a man by sending pics. Secure is knowing I don't want to, or need to. He's not ok with that? Fine. Buh bye now.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/07/21 02:23 PM
3

Have you actually met yet? For me, a stranger texting 3 times a day and chatting all day via messages would be too much; I don't even do that with my friends. But it's what works for you, not strangers on the internet. Does it work for you?
/r/askFDS15/07/21 09:44 PM
11

I am going to state the absolute obvious here. But it's through practice and repetition. Noticing your mind drift, noticing the monkey mind jumping around, and bringing your attention back when you do. For me, I was almost saying a "Hey!" at myself mentally when I realised I was lost in those thought patterns and rabbit holes. At first you can bring it back to something tangible like your breath, or a visual stimulis, or a sound, and try focusing on that...later you will be able to apply it more…
/r/askFDS15/07/21 02:21 PM
6

His response to the red flag question was a red flag. That's inception right there 😆
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/07/21 04:15 AM
3

What does he add to your life other than being shittiest boyfriend of the year? What would you tell a friend or sister who was with someone like this? Would you be proud if your loved ones knew how he treated you? You know the answers. You have the strength to walk away. Be glad it's only 6 months
/r/askFDS12/07/21 02:05 PM
185

About as intellectually evolved as cavemen...at least cavemen had the physical strength to actually pick a woman up. "Oh, your kissy noises make my fanny flutter, please take me!" /s
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/07/21 12:11 PM
16

Don't feel bad for staying. I think many of us have done the same. It's how they operate; wearing us down, damaging our self esteem, isolating us from our support network, making us feel that we should be grateful to be with them. It's all a massive con. I look back and it's almost laughable that I didn't realise what a catch I was. What a catch WE are. But as I said, it's how they operate...because if we actually knew the truth, they know that we wouldn't be with them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/07/21 09:50 AM
2

Update? How did this play out?
/r/askFDS09/07/21 08:54 AM
39

18th body? Is this dude Dexter? Sorry no, Dexter had a code of ethical behaviour
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/07/21 03:19 AM
54

43 and checking in!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/07/21 08:01 AM
23

It's so easy to get so caught up in the other person or in a relationship that one lose one's own identity. Some of the happiest couples I know have rich lives separate from each other. They don't live in each other's pockets; they continue to be their own person. A couple of them even live in different countries to their husbands so that they can persue their passions and careers, now their children are grown, and the men they are married to support them completely. #goals
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/07/21 02:08 AM
53

Came here to say 🐟 but you beat me to it 🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/07/21 03:24 AM
69

Absolutely. When I was with my ex, he really wanted kids, a house, a wedding. And I just wasn't there. I thought it was because I was too young, I wasn't ready, blah blah. In actual fact it's because he was going to become a cheating and abusive nightmare. That is what my gut was telling me, that this man is not a safe person to be with. I may have stayed with him too long, but at least my instincts saved me from being trapped
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/07/21 03:23 AM
3

Have a look into CBT techniques. They will help you challenge and reframe unhealthy thought patterns as they arise, and retrain them into healthier ones
/r/askFDS01/07/21 08:37 AM
6

Dingdingding we have a winner, apology deflection and gaslighting combined! You really can't make it up. And you know what's worse? That every woman here has had similar said to them, or knows someone who has. Doesn't it feel great being free of his bullshit?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/07/21 05:32 AM
83

And if he does, it will be a non-apology. AKA "I'm sorry you were upset" .. "I'm sorry if you feel that way" 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/06/21 02:27 AM
27

Cognitive dissonance
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/06/21 07:50 AM
2

Aussie rules is a different sport to rugby/football. Kind of a blend of the 2
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/06/21 05:41 AM
17

Hey, leave us Scorpios alone 🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/06/21 07:53 AM
5

Yes, GABA! It's reassuring to learn that one isn't having an existential crisis after all 😉
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/06/21 01:39 PM
6

Don't feel bad about this. It's not a flaw in you. It's literally what alcohol does; taps into our prefrontal cortex and fucks with our ability to make decisions. Alcohol Explained is a good book which discusses this, amongst other things
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/06/21 08:11 AM
8

I quit 'accidentally' 2 years ago (it was supposed to be a one month challenge which got out of control 🤣). Honestly, once you have rewired all that social conditioning that tells us we have to drink to relax, to socialise, to celebrate, to commiserate etc etc, you won't miss it at all. I sometimes miss the refreshment or flavour of beer, but that's what AF beer is for. I don't miss how alcohol made my brain feel at all. It's a massive con, sis.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/06/21 08:09 AM
7

Not sure. But with those apps, you risk getting dick pics 🍤 and don't have the ability to report someone if they start sending abusive messages
/r/askFDS22/06/21 07:00 AM
17

I have to disagree about calling/texting. Someone isn't going to get my number if I haven't met them yet. But that's just me.
/r/askFDS22/06/21 04:25 AM
87

FDS rules on OLD: Don't The end
/r/askFDS22/06/21 04:10 AM
36

Girl also needs to have other things going on in her life. Why so available? Only my friends will get me on a Saturday night, and even then I have probably already made plans by Wednesday.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/06/21 04:52 AM
82

He's messaging you at 2:58 a.m??? And sorry but why are you being so accommodating with him?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/06/21 03:46 AM
20

Absolutely. As an empath, I had a tendency to tap into this side of them and feel sorry for them even when I was being abused or manipulated . Stockholm syndrome much? Something I have worked on a lot and will not allow again.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/06/21 12:51 PM
140

It's also an insight into how they can be with their safe circle of male friends. Unfortunately a lot of men don't seem able (or it's not socially "acceptable" for them ) to show this kind of vulnerability with women, and instead create a facade of machismo or douchery as a defence. It's actually really sad.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/06/21 09:44 AM
176

Love the theory, but in practice, I live somewhere where there are barely any datable men, if any at all. Sure, if someone decent shows up, great, but otherwise I am good with growing and filling my life with interesting things
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/06/21 10:54 AM
3

I've seen her perform twice in a tiny venue here in ...(insert foreign country where I live). She's amazing!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/06/21 06:56 AM
15

I'd just walk away
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/06/21 06:53 AM
25

That ending! Inspired!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/06/21 07:09 AM
13

Annnnnnd relaaaaaaaax I think a lot of us, myself included, don't actually want romantic love as badly as we think. Really we are just lonely, and crave a closeness and intimacy that feels out of reach in friendships because of society's emphasis on marriage and the nuclear family. We project that into the never ending search for a perfect love and a soulmate, when really we all just want is to mean something to someone.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/06/21 06:38 AM
31

Punctuation though, please. I ran out of breath reading this in my head.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/06/21 04:01 AM
16

You are welcome 😊
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/06/21 11:04 AM
46

My home country is "elsewhere", not Iran. However the issue is not Iranian men per se; many are nothing but respectful and gentlemanly (I have seen them step off the curb into the gutter to allow women to pass). Egypt or Morocco it is not. The scrotacity exists amongst the government, Islamic police (which includes women) and regulations inflicted by the regime. That is not Iran.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/06/21 10:30 AM
31

Half Iranian (dual nationality)..born and raised elsewhere
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/06/21 10:12 AM
47

I wish I could go back 20 years and show this to my younger self. It all starts so insidiously, but before you know it you feel broken and lost and trapped (7 years free)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/06/21 09:20 AM
79

In Tehran there are women only subway carriages too. Sometimes male peddlers would enter to sell their wares; at the first hint of any disrespect they were bitchslapped off at the next station 🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/06/21 09:14 AM
83

Turn it around though, and it could be seen in a different way. I know too many women who give and give and give like this to their partner. The line between love and people pleasing can be easily blurred in an unhealthy relationship
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/06/21 04:23 AM
19

Who wants friends like that, seriously? I know it's hard, but it took me until my 40s to really find my "people". We are all growing and changing and barely know ourselves; until we know that, how can we recognise who or what is right for us any way? Try to enjoy the journey; people will come in and out of your life but each one will bring lessons or learning experiences. Only the truly worthy will stay, and the loss of the others will mean less and less as time passes. Hugs x
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/21 06:43 AM
47

Haters gonna hate. They are probably insecure that you can be happy by yourself and don't need someone else to define you. I wouldn't even bother responding.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/21 09:48 AM
35

Agreed, as my best friend is the same. We have never been anything but platonic, I am basically an aunt to his daughters and friends with his wife. Of course we have both received comments (more him than me, from male friends) suggesting that women and men cannot be platonic friends. Admittedly it's not always the case, but it can happen
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/21 04:00 AM
21

Genuine question: do some tiktokkers make their own videos quoting other tiktokkers' words? Because I have definitely heard these same words on a tiktok which was also posted here months back
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/06/21 11:12 AM
47

If your friend, your sister, or your daughter asked you the same question, what would you tell them? Don't buy into his gaslighting. It's easier for him to deflect and project than to acknowledge he behaved like a shitty human being. And more importantly, do you want to be with a man who does those things? Would you want your friend, sister, or daughter to put up with that behaviour? Trash took itself out; be glad!
/r/askFDS05/06/21 09:20 AM
41

Not Safe For Life 🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/21 03:21 PM
41

NSFW!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/21 01:31 PM
191

I live in a SE asian country and this is how it works. The women manage the household and hold the purse strings. An older local gentleman started chatting to me one morning, pleased that I spoke the language and could converse. He mentioned that in my country we have "equality" and women would also help with bringing income into the household, whereas what he earned went straight to his wife. His expression changed somewhat when I pointed out that this same "equality" would mean him sharing the…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/21 08:23 AM
30

Operation Lysistrata!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/21 08:19 AM
114

Just the idea of a man calling a woman an incel has me in stitches. Dude, you realise what that means, right? You realise that we could ask any guy on the street for sex (disclaimer:🤢 🤮) and 9 out of 10 would accept? Involuntary my arse. You just don't like the fact that we choose not to waste our time on guys like you. Edit: lol at the deleted mansplainer trying to tell me what incel means 🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/21 02:19 PM
13

Seriously! I mean the only thing we supposedly "need" them for is sex, and that's usually a disappointment. I have an excellent rabbit, thank you very much, guaranteed result and no bullshit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/21 03:05 PM
40

Yes, yes, and so much yes! I am also 40+, also had an abusive long term relationship, also attempted dating and all its joys. Meh. I wish society would stop thinking there is something wrong with us because hold the front page ! we don't want a relationship just for the sake of being in a relationship. What's wrong with us? Nothing! What's wrong with you for thinking that I cannot exist without an "other half"?? If someone is not treating me with respect, enhancing my life, and actively compleme…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/21 12:09 PM
1

Methinks the lady* doth protest too much *he wishes
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/21 08:20 AM
69

You know what's powerful? Knowing that they can't have sex with you. Knowing that you choose to refuse 👑
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/21 08:13 AM
22

Oh believe me, he'll come back with the hoover apology when he needs some fresh supply. Mine did. But the apology will be all about him, not about how shitty he made you feel. He will "apologise" because earning your forgiveness will make him feel better, not you. Well done for walking away, now stay gone ❤
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/21 02:17 AM
2

Literal microbullet 😆
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/21 01:51 PM
4

It comes with practice; slowly you develop a "don't talk to me" aura (if you don't want to be talked to, of course. Just try to focus on the music at events, or in a restaurant or bar, take a kindle or earphones. Most people won't invade your space (though of course there are always some dickheads)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/05/21 08:47 AM
8

This is how (pre covid) I did my Friday nights. Lots of free live music events and can't decide which one to go to? Hop from one to another (or don't!) as the mood takes you. Eat where you want and what you want, go home when you want. It's also why I usually travel alone. Not feeling the vibe of this spot? Go somewhere else. Enjoying this place more than you expected? Stay longer. Change your plans, go with the flow, turn left when you want to turn left, turn right when you want to turn right. …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/05/21 08:44 AM
3

This is so true. I developed disordered eating when I was with my abusive ex. The only way I can explain it is wanting to disappear. Wanting my body to be as small and vulnerable as I felt. Wanting to hide inside myself. But at the same time, the physical manifestation of hunger was something tangible that I could really feel, when I was emotionally so numb and lost. And control, of course. Being able to control something when feeling that everything else was spiralling beyond me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/05/21 08:13 AM
1

Dudes mad because they can't perve on women, stealth photos, and make them feel uncomfortable. Maybe try controlling yourselves and not acting like 14 year old horndogs, and we wouldn't need exclusive spaces?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/05/21 04:36 AM
10

It's been 2 and a half months of NC since I found out the FWB wasn't a F at all and walked away. I'm feeling confident, proud, happy with my growth, at peace, all of those things. Walking my path and holding my head high with dignity. Then today I ran into him in the supermarket. He cut such a sad figure. A shadow of the confidence he used to carry. He gave me a meek hello. And I felt sorry for him. I felt sorry for him?!?! Why do I have to feel this compassion for people who have treated me lik…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/21 01:18 PM
20

What a catch
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/21 07:44 AM
14

I'm sorry that happened to you. Me too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/05/21 01:24 PM
28

I was always the poster child for women being strong. Don't take any shit, I told them, walk away. Until it was me. It was never black eyes or broken ribs, but it was abuse. It started slowly, but evolved into silverback gorilla posturing, smashing of phones, my scooter, the tv, kicking and choking, blowing up over nothing, making scenes in public which I would try to hush out of shame. In the end, after 13 years, he left me. It messed with my head at the time, that after all I put up with, I wa…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/21 08:31 AM
5

Yes yes yes! Thank goodness it's not just me. OLD was pointless...left swipes all the way. It's also very rare that I will be attracted to someone outright, without an emotional or intellectual connection.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/05/21 09:12 AM
60

I didn't really start living until I was in my late 30s. In my 40s, life just gets better and better. Would I want to be back in my 20s brain? Hell no.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/04/21 01:43 PM
1

It was a rhetorical question. I know what the message of the song is. I still don't give a fuck what he thinks
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/04/21 10:22 PM
24

Who the fuck is he and why do we care what he thinks?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/04/21 09:26 AM
5

Buggery?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/04/21 09:22 AM
321

Last time I arrived in Japan, my phone camera did an automatic software update which turned on the shutter sound even when my phone was on silent/vibrate
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/03/21 05:00 AM
1

Don't beat yourself up; it's what social media is designed to do. They literally consulted with slot machine experts when designing these apps; to them we are rats in a cage, hitting a lever for dopamine and other neurochemicals. And you cannot "overcome" these feelings of comparison without a solid self esteem. You can also use CBT techniques to start challenging those thoughts and feelings as they arise. However, it's a process which takes time. It means developing awareness of the thought pat…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/03/21 04:51 AM
19

You wouldn't run a marathon with a sprained ankle. So if you're in a place where your self esteem is injured, vulnerable, seeking validation, or comparing yourself to others, you stay off social media. You build yourself up, train yourself, until you are in a place where you don't give a fuck. And you also remember that those posting the most on social media are those with the poorest self esteem and greatest need for validation.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/03/21 07:51 AM
100

nO BAbY pLEasE dON't saY THaT, I reAlLY NeeD YOu iN My LiFE ..is what he was expecting as a response. Honey, your bluff got called!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/03/21 06:44 AM
31

Looking back, I cannot say that I am proud of any of the relationships or situationships I have had with any man in my life. In hindsight, I didn't realise how lucky they were to have me, and there is no way I would even look their way now. Do I wish I hadn't wasted so much time and energy on them? Absolutely. But I can't change that; what I can change is how I grow and what I will allow into my life from here on in. Without those experiences, perhaps I wouldn't be where I am today.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/03/21 06:39 AM
3

I'm practising this, but struggle with it. I know that my words will fall on deaf ears and that he doesn't care. Nothing I say can change what a person thinks. But at the same time, I want to call him out and unleash such a torrent on him. I want him to hear what a shit he is, I want him to experience accountability, instead of thinking he has got away with it. I want him to suffer and hurt. No, that's not healthy either. But it's the bloody truth.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/21 04:25 AM
43

That's far too eloquent to be from a man; I mean, there's no word salad at all! You outed yourself 😆
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/03/21 02:43 PM
5

But yours is 6-7-6 🤔
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/03/21 12:51 PM
18

Damn, I am feeling attacked. Totally know (knew) him
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/03/21 02:52 PM
3

Thank you. That's exactly what I am working on. It's hard to come to terms with the fact that some other people just don't have the same moral compass as we do. We INFJs feel everything so very deeply...I'll get there.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/03/21 04:25 AM
2

You speak the truth, and I am practicing that as much as I can. Time heals, as you say. It's just frustrating when the brain produces those toxic, angry thoughts. I can't heal myself while I am still wishing he would suffer too....
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/03/21 02:40 PM
12

I have a rich and interesting life, social activities, passions and wonderful time by myself for reflection (I'm an INFJ). But I am still struggling with the anger of how he treated me, minimalised my feelings, gaslit me and acted like I was nobody. How do I get over this rage and pain? I don't want to feed it, and I don't want to waste the energy on him. I've tried writing, breathing, exercising, so many things...it keeps coming back. So do I just feel it? How do you get through this feeling?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/21 11:04 AM
25

I'd block him just for his misuse of "your". Ugh /shudders/
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/02/21 01:04 PM
31

I live in Southeast Asia. One of the most common misconceptions by tourists visiting my city is "oh my goodness, look at these poor local women being used by these men! They couldn't be more wrong. These men are totally whipped. They hand over their earnings for their "submissive wife" to manage, and as you said, can expect to be frozen out (or humiliated in public) if they fall short. As for the professional "girlfriends", they literally have 10 men in 10 different countries doting on their eve…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/21 07:48 AM
5

He said his ex wife was crazy, and left him for no reason. Spoiler alert: he was physically abusive, cheated on me for 3 years with another woman and impregnated her, then left me (and her) for someone else. We both became the "crazy" ones too. Edit: the only thing I berate myself for constantly is that I stayed. I lost myself, I was scared, and I stayed. I have always been an advocate of women walking away from their abusers, but I couldn't do it myself. And it's hard to forgive myself for that
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/01/21 12:27 PM
8

God yes. And what's more, my former self being upset over "losing" these no value exes, when I can now see that they were lucky I even allowed them into my life. I sometimes have nightmares in which I am back with them, and even unconscious, there is part of my brain going "What the fuck are you doing? Why are you with them again?" I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and tell her....
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/01/21 11:55 AM
8

Catfishers and scam artists, usually, looking for an easy mark. Sometimes even just chat bots.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/01/21 12:23 PM
9

How do I find out what the childhood trauma was, and heal it, if I have no traumatic memories of my parents and upbringing?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/11/20 05:56 AM
18

Sorry, I don't follow what you are asking
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/11/20 07:09 AM
156

Hi Phil! Thanks for sending me the same, and reminding me to turn off incoming message permissions!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/11/20 05:16 AM
9

Me too. Wasted way too many years with him, but I try to see it as part of my journey into the fabulous person I am now. We can't change our past, but it definitely taught me how I don't want to live now, and encourages me to live life to the fullest to make up for lost time. So try to see it from the other side if you can...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/11/20 09:55 AM
35

If there's one thing I try to live by in all my relationships, and that includes friendships, is to judge them on how they treat me in the present, and not base things on memories and history. It's hard, but it helps
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/10/20 01:03 PM
14

All. The. Time. And love it! I must admit that when I first became single, it felt weird. But now I wouldn't have it any other way. I know some people think it's weird to sit in a bar or go to a music event or whatever. I don't care 😝
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/08/20 04:56 AM
2

Argh. I don't even like him...it's the damn oxytocin and dopamine that turn me into a junkie looking for her fix
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/08/20 10:11 AM
2

You certainly seem like one
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/07/20 04:17 PM
2

Ooooh, do tell?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/07/20 03:11 PM
8

Still, I am surprised how many people are in favour of that comment. If roles were reversed, and a man called us geriatric and past it for being over 40, we'd be up in arms. Be assertive, sure. Flat out insults...nah.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/07/20 09:40 PM
5

I slept on it, and deleted this morning. Ain't nobody got time for dat!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/07/20 10:49 AM
18

Hey, not all of us 40+ year olds are geriatric! 😔
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/07/20 07:58 AM
9

I am genuinely busy Monday to Wednesday so didn't want to get stuck in a back and forth. Gave him too much credit!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/07/20 02:18 PM
21

I hear ya, sis!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/07/20 12:15 PM
19

I live overseas, so I give some leeway with grammar, as English won't be most people's first language
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/07/20 12:05 PM
19

That's my plan exactly, and he's swimming against the current now
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/07/20 11:07 AM
68

Agreed, for friends. Hell, quite often I just go to one of my regular places and bump into them. But for a stranger, nah!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/07/20 10:47 AM
44

I know, and I don't drink 😆 What is so difficult about saying "ok, cool. I am away this weekend but I know a great (x). Does next (x) at (x) work for you?"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/07/20 10:45 AM
65

I am on the verge of deleting. He replied with a block of text about work and why Thursday is a "might". Then called my raincheck a "Godesque" prediction as he is away for the weekend 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/07/20 09:53 AM
1

I'm so sorry you had to go through that. Life shouldn't be so complicated, huh; just don't be a dickhead! Not sure why that's such a hard rule for people to follow! I'm super glad, though, that you've come out the other side as a stronger person. Hugs ❤
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/07/20 02:05 AM
2

So why me? He is even on good terms with his exes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/07/20 01:43 AM
6

I think our only 'fault' is that we are nice people, who try to see the good in people and treat others well. And we mistakenly think that others are the same
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/07/20 04:45 PM
3

This is amazing and I have saved it as a future peptalk, thank you ❤ Must work on my tendency to over-empathise with people who don't give me a second thought! Also I (usually) recognise that I'm not ugly and worthless; I just feel it when I am around the "cool crowd". Regressions to high-school! 😆
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/07/20 04:02 PM
14

Sorry had to edit previous reply. Thank you, will look it up... Does it also explain why he can go a week without responding to a message, but if I am silent for 30minutes when he messages, he double and triple texts? ( I think it's because he's super goodlooking, and everyone tells him as much, and thus he thinks the world worships him. The madonna-W***** complex is strong; he idolises the women he has dated and his mother and aunts are constantly complementing him. Ironically, when we did spen…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/07/20 10:35 AM
17

Yeah...classic avoidant attachment style too. No longer physically in my life, but still fucking with my head. I'll get there....
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/07/20 10:11 AM
8

Love it and don't we just know it! Throw in a bit of dopamine and oxytocin and you have yourself a toxically addictive human! 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/07/20 10:09 AM
18

Thank you ❤ I know that everything you've said is true; self worth/self esteem are 2 things I am really trying to work on. Even though friends say I am attractive/kind/funny/intelligent etc, I have never been the girl who gets hit on or approached. So when dickhead here (who is very handsome and popular) gave me some validation, I lapped it up 🤦🏻‍♀️🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/07/20 09:38 AM
30

It's not even a relationship or dating...he's a former fwb. But seeing how he interacts with others brings out these feelings in myself that I am ugly and worthless
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/07/20 09:03 AM
7

The guys who make bots aren't looking for meaningful conversations though, or even to dip their dicks. They are just online scammers...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/07/20 08:36 AM
13

Probably an automated bot or romance scammer
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/07/20 06:23 AM
0

I know...however I am practicing loving kindness meditations/mantras this month and blocking feels like it is contradicting that. For now I will continue working on myself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/06/20 01:49 PM
11

Ugh. FWB is still breadcrumbing me and it's working. Drops me a message here and there to see if I am still around, then silence. Find myself wondering how he is and almost asked him for a coffee just now. Damn dopamine. (Note that I am not lookng for a relationship at the moment, but I do expect sincere and open friendship and communication)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/06/20 02:48 AM
16

I am going to go against the grain here. My best mate of 15 years is 100% platonic, and we are like brother and sister to each other. Both of us have had our own relationships and demons during this time; never has he been anything but respectful, nor has he ever said or done anything to suggest intent for anything otherwise. I would trust this person with my life; a Y chromosome doesn't come into it. I have another couple of male friends who, whilst not as close as the first guy I mentioned, ar…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/06/20 08:39 AM
4

I actually just received a message from him, asking how I am, though I read it in notifications and haven't actually opened it 🙄🤔. Will decide tomorrow whether to reply or not... Edit: and another one! Funny how impatient they get when they are the one expecting a reply
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/06/20 01:08 PM
4

Thank you for the pep talk! You are absolutely right of course; I just needed to hear it
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/06/20 01:53 AM
2

Ok so this weekend I have been checking in with several (platonic) friends I haven't heard from for a while, seeing how they are/ how life is going, especially through the whole Covid crap. Thing is that I still want to check in with my fwb, on a human level, as I know he was struggling with some things. I haven't heard from him in 3 weeks, and I know communication works both ways, yet other friends have been quiet too so...? On one side I know it's my ego seeking the validation of a response fr…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/06/20 12:07 AM
9

The question is not whether he likes you; it's whether you like him!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/20 11:57 AM
20

Did you see him break eye contact when he "apologised" ?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/20 11:53 AM
10

Sex and intimacy 😔
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/20 08:30 AM
2

Warn- frustratingly not. My idiot fwb is the first person my dog has approved in a long time. He actually really likes him to the point of resting his head in fwb's lap and looking up at him as if to say "I am trusting you not to fuck her about, ok?". Unfortunately his trust seems misplaced. Sorry, hound
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/20 07:52 AM
–

Thank you for this. I am trying to let go of thoughts about my fwb. I last messaged him a few weeks ago after he showed up for me at a hard time... radio silence since. It's hard to reconcile, as he was great comfort to me during social distancing and I really thought we were friends. Whilst I know a real friend would never be so cold, I can't help feeling sad and wanting to reach out with crappy weak "thanks for being there for me" shit, or caring about the stuff he is struggling with. I really…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/20 06:40 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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