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Extremiditty Archive

View 0 posts and 258 comments by Extremiditty on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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1

Definitely not. Sometimes people are just introverted which makes it hard to meet people, or were late bloomers and not great at dating, or a million other things that can hold someone back romantically. I don’t think a person’s overall value is directly tied to how well they do in a romantic context. Now men who can’t attract women because they’re pushy or misogynistic I think are losers.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/25 12:37 AM
4

Yeah I find this take incredibly odd. There are male friends I have who are objectively attractive and have qualities I love about them in a friendship context. They also have a lot of qualities that I wouldn’t want in a longterm romantic partner. Also being objectively attractive doesn’t automatically mean I’m sexually interested in them. I’m not an unattractive woman and I have close male friends who have never tried anything even remotely romantic or sexual with me. We just aren’t romanticall…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/25 03:59 PM
7

This is one of the best comments I’ve read on this website.
/r/ExRedPill20/06/24 05:39 AM
1

I’m afraid that may be the way things turn out here. It really breaks my heart and makes me feel like an idiot.
/r/ExRedPill24/05/24 02:19 AM
1

Curious about what you ended up doing. A guy I’ve been dating off and on for several years and was starting to feel like I was in a good place with has some very disturbing beliefs that come out every so often. He definitely buys into a fair bit of red pill stuff and we can’t have a calm discussion about it. Honestly it’s made me question my safety with him. That sounds nuts out loud and I know I’ll probably get torn apart for not having left the situation, but I guess I just have hope that that…
/r/ExRedPill23/05/24 06:31 PM
6

Absolutely. It’s no one’s responsibility to fix someone else. I think the whole be yourself thing is a lovely sentiment but it really should be “work to be the best version of you”. Be the sort of person you would be happy to date. Everyone has some negative qualities but you have to balance those out with positives in order for people to want to be in your life.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/24 01:17 AM
8

I think this is true when you are already in a relationship with someone, but you have to have qualities to attract that person in the first place. Gaining some weight, going through depressive episodes, having a difficult time financially, etc are all things a good partner will stick with you through but all of that being the case right out of the gates is not going to bode well for dating.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/24 01:06 AM
5

Unfortunately I knew several people in medical school who had some questionable views surrounding sexuality and gender. Sex is great and can be a very fulfilling part of life. I do think for someone with an average sex drive it is important and if someone never could have sex again a part of them would be down about that overall, but it’s absurd to act like not having sex means that you can’t be happy with life in general.
/r/ExRedPill09/02/24 08:30 PM
5

I have dildos that range from 3 inches up to 9. They make really small toys for penetrating. There are lots of toys for internal stimulation that aren’t dildos too and many of those are not very big. Dildos also usually have some sort of base that isn’t for inserting and that’s counted in the length. So a 6 inch inch dildo is more like 4 or 5 depending on the type of base.
/r/ExRedPill08/02/24 03:43 AM
1

I don’t completely agree with your stance on this, I think men and women are more similar than different in most ways, but I think this is the most accurate take on this thread. There are definitely differences and culture is going to play a role in how pronounced those differences are and in what ways they manifest. “Biological certainties” always grinds my gears a bit because most things are a spectrum and heavily influenced by environment, rarely is there something you can put into a binary l…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/24 05:07 PM
0

Yes! I’m sure there are sexual differences on a very general spectrum but it’s so hard to separate all the confounding factors to actually compare base libido. It also ignores the hormonal fluctuations that men and women go through throughout a month. There are times when the hormone cocktail is just right that it increases or decreases sex drive significantly for some people, for others the hormone fluctuations don’t impact them as much. I’ve never seen any compelling evidence scientifically or…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/24 05:01 PM
1

I agree with you. I was replying to this guy saying we must be lying about the risk since women still have casual sex as if there isn’t still a huge risk with committed dating. Edit: I think he deleted the comment I replied to. I wasn’t trying to argue with you!
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/24 12:33 AM
0

Then I guess I can never be in a relationship with a man, casual or not, because there is always that risk.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/24 08:39 PM
5

Lol it is not one of the hierarchy of needs. Sex can be a part of the love and belonging level but it doesn’t have to be. Human connection and intimacy (of any kind, not just sexual) fulfill that category. This girl for whatever reason seems to like being friends with you and apparently you don’t even like her past wanting to fuck her. That’s a real bummer and I feel bad that she’s been thinking you’re her friend this whole time. You might need to recalibrate your idea of romance and interperson…
/r/ExRedPill29/01/24 12:51 AM
4

What an absolutely gross and crazy take. In what world is having a mutual and respectful agreement that your partner can seek outside sexual satisfaction worse than cheating?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/24 01:06 AM
1

There is a difference between being a genuinely nice person who is putting your best foot forward for someone you are romantically interested in and hoping you’ll have sex vs having no actual concern on even a basic human decency level for the other person so you completely fake interest in a relationship and in them as a person in the hope that you can use the person like a warm fleshlight. Wanting sex is fine. Being your best self to impress someone you are into is fine. Creating a fake nice p…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/24 12:16 AM
7

The guy I’m dating will make a comment just every once in awhile that makes me worried about this. I think he isn’t as aware about what his algorithm is feeding him and he definitely buys into some of the redpill lite ideas. He’s good looking, definitely not an Incel, and certainly not an idiot so it’s extra frustrating.
/r/ExRedPill22/01/24 07:15 AM
2

So I think you are somewhat missing my point here, but at the end of the day it doesn’t really matter because that thought exercise isn’t how actual bonding works. You don’t have to send your kids to daycare if that’s your preference, but doing so is not going to lessen the bond your children would have with you as parents. The people at daycare also are not strangers. They would see your kid every day and be a safe and trusted adult. I saw elsewhere that you were hurt by a daycare employee and …
/r/ExRedPill22/01/24 04:28 AM
2

There is an extremely common joke about someone’s child resembling the milk man implying that the wife has been having sex with the milk man several times a week whenever he drops off milk to their house. Clearly women were cheating on their husbands as stay at home wives in the 50s since this is such a common joke. So even the archetype that the “traditional” woman is based on was not some pious woman who had a ton of respect for her husband just because he was paying the bills while she did ev…
/r/ExRedPill22/01/24 04:14 AM
2

I think the lockdowns amplified it. Isolation from Covid didn’t create the red pill but it amplified the loneliness enough that a larger number of people started being vulnerable to it. We have a lack of third spaces and people are less apt to interact in person just in general now. People working from home started being more prevalent even before Covid because of the accessibility the internet provides. Dating apps have changed the dating scene, in some ways it made it easier to find partners a…
/r/ExRedPill22/01/24 04:11 AM
4

Yeah. Nothing would make me run the other direction faster than finding out a guy is habitually consuming RP content. It would make me afraid and disgusted.
/r/ExRedPill22/01/24 02:06 AM
3

Where are you getting that information from? There is lots of good longitudinal data on effects of daycare/ early childhood education and it’s pretty clear that going to daycare or having a nanny does not have a negative effect on bonding. Time spent with the children being engaged and kind facilitates a bond. Being a safe stable presence (which can be done even when your child has other caregivers for part of the day). Let me ask you, if you really believe that being away from the kids for 8ish…
/r/ExRedPill22/01/24 02:03 AM
4

This guy apparently doesn’t understand why the “your son looks like the milk man” jokes were such a thing in the 40s and 50s.
/r/ExRedPill22/01/24 01:39 AM
2

It has nothing to do with morality and everything to do with being completely dependent on their husband and in some cases at risk of being honor killed for infidelity (including if she gets raped). You want someone who stays with you out of fear or you want someone who stays because they want to be with you?
/r/ExRedPill22/01/24 01:38 AM
7

I hate that they refer to the man goes to work woman vacuums the house in heals and tends to the children all day as “traditional”. It’s referring to a period of time that lasted less than a decade but all of the media we have from that time period is pushing idyllic propaganda because it was propaganda in that time period too!
/r/ExRedPill22/01/24 01:35 AM
1

It’s common that people behave that way you mean? That hasn’t been my experience. I’m sure there are people who fit those stereotypes, but I don’t know that I believe it’s common.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/24 04:57 PM
2

I don’t know if I agree that it’s easier to navigate socializing when you categorize. Definitely agree that it’s a natural human inclination, but getting too attached to the categories and being certain about the motivations and future behavior of everyone is those categories is going to hinder you more socially than help you.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/24 05:51 PM
4

You can have a debate without speaking in impossible absolutes or demonizing the other sides of the argument. Part of debate is being able to self reflect and incorporate new information.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/24 05:50 PM
3

This is the problem. It’s ok to analyze patterns and discuss observed behaviors. But projecting those patterns and expectations onto everyone you meet is not going to have positive results and also isn’t fair to people you actually interact with. There is also the issue of spotting a pattern and then deciding you without a doubt know the reasons for that behavior and assuming you understand other peoples personal motivations and thoughts. Postulating possible reasons and trying to understand eac…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/24 05:48 PM
14

It’s this. It’s comforting to notice patterns and then extrapolate rules for the world from those patterns. Especially if you have trouble with social cues or lack a more innate understanding of people’s behavior. I think it also validates peoples experiences and feelings if they are able to make harsh black and white judgements. Helps them feel less alone and more in control and comfortable because they feel like they can always know what to expect. Have two ex boyfriends who are on the spectru…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/24 05:40 PM
–

If the words were being used correctly and the sentence syntax was comprehensible we might be able to understand.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/01/24 02:20 AM
–

The biological determinism people always sound like that. Using words they think make them sound smart in ways that don’t make sense and trying to hide a nonsense argument by writing way more than necessary.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/01/24 02:19 AM
2

Yeah I guess I’ve just never dated anyone that I’ve had to ask them to do household stuff including that. Always have dated adults who just did things to take care of the space they live in and would do things like curtains because they care about me not getting sick. Some of the people I’ve dated have been shit in other ways but ability to take care of themselves and their living space has never been an issue lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/01/24 03:10 PM
6

And why would you want to have sex with someone who fully doesn’t want to?! Like if this is such a big problem there are deeper issues in the relationship that need to be resolved. I’m a woman with a really high sex drive and have had a free use policy with most partners, but if there was ever a time I was clearly stressed and not at all aroused not a single one of those people would have wanted to continue. I was going to power through sex sick once and partway through my head hurt so bad I was…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/01/24 12:57 AM
3

I do my curtains more often because I have a dust mite allergy, but that’s my problem so I wouldn’t ask my partner to wash them on that frequent schedule. But I do get the sense that you’re right. I think a lot of guys here are thinking that rotating through a schedule of deep cleaning tasks is made up chores rather than just a normal thing to do to keep the place actually clean. If they don’t care about that then they shouldn’t be with someone who has a way different standard of cleanliness or …
/r/PurplePillDebate01/01/24 12:51 AM
–

Medical school is my source for the information.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/12/23 05:18 PM
–

Past experiences on this sub. Glad to see I was wrong.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/12/23 05:17 PM
–

I answered him. It’s just the process of lactation itself. Doubt it will make a difference.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/12/23 03:13 PM
–

The changes breasts go through for lactation stretch them and they somewhat deflate when milk supply dries up. Estrogen keeps the balance of fat to glandular tissue, post menopause the breast becomes atrophied and mostly fatty tissue and loses its firmness. There will be some sag with age pre menopause because of weakening of suspensory ligaments and gradual fatty changes to the breast but it’s usually minimal. If a person is in moderately good shape and occasionally works their pectoral muscles…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/12/23 03:12 PM
3

You said pretty much exactly my thoughts on this in a more eloquent way than I could have. Word for word this is my own feeling about OF.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/12/23 07:03 PM
5

I wouldn’t have one myself because it would ruin my career and also because it’s a ton of work to make actual income on and I’m way too lazy. I don’t personally want to do sex work but that doesn’t mean I think that women who do sex work are disgusting.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/12/23 07:01 PM
1

Oh totally. Female physician fertility is lower than the general public, and id prefer to be with my partner several years before kids. But yes more than likely I’d be able to conceive if we wanted to. Was more just stating it’s not a consideration for me.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/12/23 01:55 AM
1

Parents married older. Second marriage for my dad, first for my mom. I’m their only kid and they were great parents and have a very happy marriage. I’m in my late 20s and in medical school. Not planning on marriage until my 30s. If I can’t have biological kids it doesn’t bother me so it a really not that big of a deal.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/12/23 01:21 AM
4

This is what they’re glossing over. It’s not being a virgin, it’s the reasons behind it. If they had none of those actual red flags OP listed and had just chosen to abstain or had circumstances like a really intense education get in the way then the virginity on its own is not an issue. I may have slight concern about being someone’s “first” depending on how it seems they view sex, but that’s something that’s easily talked about. I don’t personally put a lot of stock into number of partners whet…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/12/23 03:42 PM
1

I don’t know but it’s my cue to tap out of this thread.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/23 10:53 PM
–

I had these same thoughts. This guy is vastly overestimating the legal system for taking domestic and/or sexual violence seriously. Even societally there are people who dismiss verified instances of abuse and sexual assault. False accusations can absolutely be devastating and they aren’t nearly as common as someone being raped and not believed. Both are horrible potential outcomes for interacting with other people, but suggesting it as a reason that it’s dangerous to enter into romantic relation…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/23 10:47 PM
2

I was honest about my feelings. I knew there probably was not a way to discuss it without it hurting him. It sucks to be broken up with when you really like someone. I told him I really valued our friendship and I couldn’t give him a specific reason the feelings weren’t there for me, but they just weren’t. We had a discussion about it. He was sad, but ultimately appreciated that I didn’t just string him along or dump him and start avoiding him completely.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/23 07:11 PM
1

I don’t see anyone justifying her behavior in the post you’re referencing. In times when a woman’s aggressive behavior is brushed off I think it is partially because women are not usually viewed as a physical threat. Not saying it’s right to not view women as physically threatening, but in general as a society we do. When there are kids involved I also think there is a certain unwillingness to believe that a mother could go against her maternal instincts and abuse a child. People don’t want to t…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/23 09:12 PM
30

Completely agree. I hate the insistence that men will fuck anything that moves and women are so caught up in their feelings that they can’t feel purely lustful desire. It’s reductionist and insulting to both sexes.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/23 06:25 AM
2

The last guy I dated it was like this. Very sweet, I have fun with him, he’s objectively attractive, he’s a great friend. But I just wasn’t romantically into him. It felt off. And it sucks because I felt like I SHOULD want to be with him. But I broke up with him because he deserves someone crazy about him and I won’t be happy with someone I’m not super into.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/23 11:31 PM
–

Women definitely get this drilled into them too. “Just give the nice girl/guy a chance”. I get where it comes from, but I think it’s a damaging thing to repeatedly say to young people. Dating someone you aren’t attracted to just because you feel like you have to sucks for everyone involved.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/23 07:48 PM
5

This sounds like it could potentially be a personality disorder but cluster B disorders are born out of trauma. And if it was BPD or NPD they are not “dominant”, but profoundly insecure and lacking in a concrete sense of self. ASPD is a little bit different, but this does not sound like ASPD to me. She sounds extremely unhappy and her inability to form genuine connection is almost certainly exacerbating that. There is a lot of overlap with personality disorder, ADHD, and C-PTSD and it would be b…
/r/ExRedPill12/12/23 02:28 AM
1

This sounds like it could potentially be a personality disorder but cluster B disorders are born out of trauma. And if it was BPD or NPD they are not “dominant”, but profoundly insecure and lacking in a concrete sense of self. ASPD is a little bit different, but this does not sound like ASPD to me. She sounds extremely unhappy and her inability to form genuine connection is almost certainly exacerbating that. There is a lot of overlap with personality disorder, ADHD, and C-PTSD and it would be b…
/r/ExRedPill12/12/23 02:27 AM
2

Not dodging, I just don’t think it’s a simple yes or no question. I do not think being toxic is the only contributing factor to someone being unable to get dates, but I do think it is a contributing factor. For men I think the amount of social skill is very important. A man who is toxic but able to hide it and knows how to be charming is likely to be successful a good amount of the time. Especially because women are often on guard and it is easy to feel a man is “creepy” when he is lacking in so…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/12/23 04:47 AM
6

I think men, if we are generalizing, tend to be a lot more forgiving of toxic traits in someone they are regularly having sex with. There is definitely a line where a woman being an awful, toxic person will make it very hard for her to date, but I think it takes more to cross that line than it does for men displaying toxicity. I’m not assigning a moral value to either scenario, but that’s what I have observed with male vs female straight friends.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/12/23 03:39 AM
2

Oh I think there are definitely ways in which we have way overshot in equalizing women and right now is a period of women having a lot of power in some areas. You see that happen a lot with big social changes and I have no doubt it will equalize or even swing back in the other direction. We’re already seeing a lot of pushback on women’s issues in some social spheres. And yes it is easier for me to accept the life’s not fair thing when I’m not the one directly dealing with this particular consequ…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/12/23 10:34 PM
1

I can agree with that. Knowing how your own feelings work and what you want/need in both the short and long term is really the most important thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/12/23 08:06 PM
2

Yeah that tends to be me lol. If I’m attracted and the vibes are right then I want to have sex. I love sex and it’s a big part of building a relationship for me. But I’m also not against waiting for awhile for someone whose company I really enjoy. Not sure what my limit is as I’ve never had someone want to wait more than a month, and there was still making out and fondling, but I think a few months would be my absolute max. I wouldn’t want someone feeling pressured by me, but I also want someone…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/12/23 08:05 PM
3

It’s bizarre to me to, but people have to do what is right for them. My attitude and approach isn’t for everyone and that’s ok.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/12/23 07:59 PM
3

I agree that it will be less helpful for men who are just baseline lonely. Men could use a greater sense of community and closer friendships in general I think and I realize that is way easier said than done due to the current expectations set for men. But having close friendships takes some of the pressure off of feeling a desperate need for a romantic partner because a romantic partner is not the only one fulfilling your social and emotional needs or need for vulnerability. I do concede that i…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/12/23 07:56 PM
1

I would say for the have sex quickly/with no hesitation approach: there is the danger of getting attached to someone who is just using you for sex or who you only see for a short time a danger of starting to feel empty and unfulfilled by sex because it’s lacking emotional connection or it becomes routine and robotic the opportunity for people to have sex because they are just trying to please someone or get external validation by feeling sexually desired maybe more opportunities for having sexua…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/12/23 07:40 PM
4

True the aim is often to change things. Although there are times we just complain in order to commiserate. When I’ve been single and gone through periods of feeling lonely there are times it’s enough to hang out with friends and have a conversation about missing having a partnership. That’s usually enough for me to alleviate those feelings and not feel the need to do anything else about it. Sometimes I know I’m not in a good place to start a new relationship or I’m going through a period where I…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/12/23 07:27 PM
1

I get that and it’s good you know that about yourself. I think everyone should know what is healthiest for them and be up front communicating their wants and needs, and sticking to what they know they need to be healthy and happy. Wanting to wait or not wanting to wait doesn’t make anyone wrong, and both approaches can have their pitfalls, it’s just another one of those compatibility things.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/12/23 07:17 PM
1

Oh for sure. Not saying my method is the right way to do things. Sex and intimacy is really different for everyone. Sex is different for me in different situations. Usually I don’t get emotionally attached after having sex once or twice if those feelings were not already there to begin with, but I get that for some people that connected feeling is very strong after sex. Or that for some sex isn’t enjoyable without that deeper connection. That’s totally understandable and in that case I agree it’…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/12/23 06:33 PM
4

I agree with that. It sucks that to participate in spaces like this you often have to start out on the defensive
/r/PurplePillDebate09/12/23 06:13 PM
1

Interestingly I find the opposite approach to be a lot more effective. If I have sex quickly then I often see immediately afterwards if they are actually interested in me or will treat me well still even though they’ve already gotten to have sex. Also though I just don’t like to view sex as something I’m guarding and “giving” to someone. I like sex and I want to have sex. It’s fun, I enjoy it, it builds intimacy, and if they leave immediately after we have sex then I learned quickly that they we…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/12/23 06:10 PM
6

Does complaining to women online about how they won’t have sex with you take care of your sexual desires? At least if you were able to discuss this within a community and with other people who understand the hurdles on a personal level it would help with some of the emotional effects of loneliness.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/12/23 06:06 PM
9

Not necessarily you, but other men here will say women are being disingenuous. It’s happened to me in other spaces when I’ve tried to have a discourse and understand a perspective that a lot of men have. It’s happened when I have genuinely expressed that that part of dating sounds like it sucks and is frustrating and I agree that we all need to be working to get rid of toxic gender norms and expectations. It often gets met with angry messages that I would never sleep with them so I’m part of the…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/12/23 06:03 PM
13

Seriously. This guy is saying the quiet part out loud.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/23 03:42 AM
2

Yeah I have never come across real life women that talk anything like that so it was a real shock to me when I stumbled upon that sub.
/r/ExRedPill21/11/23 11:26 PM
2

Female dating strategy is an absolute cesspool. The people that post there I am convinced are actually dangerous IRL.
/r/ExRedPill21/11/23 11:22 PM
3

It’s unfortunate because I used to really like it. There was some good nuanced discussion and the opportunity to better understand peoples perspectives. It’s basically just turned into redpill 2.0 at this point though. With the occasional over the top all men are horrible post mixed in for variety.
/r/ExRedPill21/11/23 11:11 PM
7

And not all men are upfront with these beliefs. So there is the ever present threat that you will date someone for awhile and slowly uncover how they view women.
/r/ExRedPill21/11/23 11:09 PM
7

People are having less casual sex now than in the past. People are starting to have sex later too. If you are not interested in casual sex then it shouldn’t bother you that some women are because those aren’t the women for you. As for genuine connection, I find the opposite is true. If I sleep with a man early on and he starts treating me poorly or immediately bails, well I just saved myself weeks or months of wasted time with a man that is only putting on a show to get into my pants. There are …
/r/ExRedPill21/11/23 11:05 PM
1

I mean personally a guy getting into fights is an immediate end of interest for me, but I’m sure that’s attractive to some women.
/r/AllPillDebate10/11/23 04:19 AM
1

Would love to see those studies. It’s also possible to have a shit personality without cluster B traits or disorders.
/r/AllPillDebate10/11/23 01:14 AM
-1

Yes. Thank you. If it’s hot outside I’ll wear shorts and a built in sports bra tank to the gym. It’s just what is most comfortable and allows the most movement for me. If I get glanced at, whatever. But if someone stands and looks at me the entire time I’m doing leg presses it’s threatening and creepy (yes no matter if I think he’s attractive or not). But I also understand the complaint because I have seen those TikTok videos of women filming themselves going off at a man in the gym because he h…
/r/MensRights10/11/23 12:10 AM
0

I’ve met a few but they had truly rancid personalities and were openly problematic or threatening. Which totally could be the thing with this dude, but I’m leaning toward bullshit.
/r/AllPillDebate09/11/23 11:49 PM
1

I use partner for exactly the reasons you have said. It’s neutral and feels less juvenile than “boyfriend/girlfriend). I’m close to OPs age and I can remember people being referred to as someone’s “partner” when I was a kid. It’s not that new a term.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/11/23 05:11 AM
2

It’s this. They’re specifically talking about what the red pill represented in the matrix films. Manosphere dudes named the movement redpill because they believe they have “awakened to reality” even if it’s grim just like Neo in the Matrix. It has nothing to do with if things they’re saying are true or not lol.
/r/ExRedPill19/10/23 07:46 PM
1

Oh definitely. And the fact that some of those relationships have not worked out has definitely been used as a counterpoint when I’ve had this discussion in person. I don’t expect my personal experience to sway anyone out of that headspace since their view is based on their own experience and that will always factor in more for them then mine will.
/r/ExRedPill10/10/23 11:16 PM
1

I mean maybe they’re settling for me. I guess there’s no way for me to truly know something like that. I don’t think that’s the case. And I’m aware of the narrative hence me mentioning I haven’t found it to be an issue in finding longer term relationships either.
/r/ExRedPill10/10/23 11:10 PM
5

It always cracks me up when I hear men talk about all men being repulsed by promiscuous women. I’m pretty promiscuous when I’m single and I’ve never had an issue pulling guys for short or long term relationships. They just aren’t usually hideously insecure.
/r/ExRedPill09/10/23 12:32 PM
1

Yeah they have a real knack for doing that.
/r/ExRedPill09/10/23 12:30 PM
2

I definitely have a lot of sex and have sex most days when I’m in the same location as the person (long distance right now). I think as long as no one feels pressured and there’s no aura of obligation then it’s not unhealthy to have sex that often. Of course occasionally there isn’t time or someone is sick or something, but otherwise we have sex. But we both have really high sex drives and are really physical in the way we show affection so it works for us. For other couples they could be perfec…
/r/ExRedPill04/10/23 05:42 PM
2

Oh I 100% don’t mean to say that this is all logic based. There is a lot of emotion involved in wanting to move people away from red pill ideology. We also just don’t know enough about gender and behavior to operate completely on logic (which as you pointed out wouldn’t be possible anyway since the two thinking patterns are intertwined with each other). More just commenting on the fact that focusing on someone’s flawed “logic” isn’t always helpful because that’s not all our decisions and behavio…
/r/ExRedPill04/10/23 04:59 PM
7

This is a very thoughtful and empathetic analysis and I completely agree. I don’t think most people want to have hatred and bitterness toward the other gender, it’s something most fall into because of experiences and emotions overriding logic. Of course there are those out there who monetize the hatred or are just bad people, but I think you’re right that for most it’s like an involuntary rabbit hole they are ashamed of.
/r/ExRedPill04/10/23 12:36 PM
1

I think you’re missing the point. Orgasm is not the only benefit of sex. It’s not the only part that brings pleasure and satisfaction. Even things that won’t make me cum on their own (penetration- usually-, breast play, anal stimulation) is all still physiologically very pleasurable. As for blowjobs, the power isn’t what gets me turned on, it’s seeing and hearing my partner feel good and I just enjoy the act itself. I think it’s fun. I like dicks and playing with them. I like the feeling of clos…
/r/ExRedPill03/10/23 12:38 AM
1

Well I get wet when giving them. I enjoy the action, I enjoy the sound my partner makes, I enjoy the intimacy, I enjoy giving him my undivided attention and treating him to pleasure where he can relax and not worry about reciprocating. I don’t feel degraded while doing it, in fact I feel powerful because I’m fully responsible for my partners pleasure in that movement and they are being vulnerable while fully enjoying it and trusting me to put a pretty sensitive body part in my mouth. It makes me…
/r/ExRedPill03/10/23 12:12 AM
1

It’s definitely not just women. I know men in my life who feel this way too. Many men make comments in this same realm on Reddit all the time. I also think there are women with a very detached view of sex and intimacy. I don’t think it’s gendered, just has to do with your view of sex and relationships and what is tied to attachment and attraction for you.
/r/ExRedPill02/10/23 11:06 PM
1

So like, the way someone smells, the sounds they make, the way they touch you, the feelings of freedom and acceptance they give you, their sense of humor you appreciate, the enjoyment of a body that has done so much for you even if it isn’t as tight and toned as it once was, how kind they are to you and others, the pride you feel in your relationship and in them. None of that factors into sexual attraction for you?
/r/ExRedPill02/10/23 09:44 PM
1

A woman can touch herself or use toys during PIV. A man can touch her while he fucks her. A man can enjoy going down on her or using toys on her because he loves giving her pleasure. A woman can suck her mans dick and get enjoyment from it because she loves giving him pleasure and because she finds the act itself incredibly hot (and before you argue no woman gets pleasure from BJs, I 100% do it’s the fastest way to get me warmed up for sex). People can try new positions together, can be silly an…
/r/ExRedPill02/10/23 09:41 PM
6

That way of viewing sex is a pretty big bummer. Good sex is something you do WITH someone and involves things that get both people off and intimate moments that both enjoy and get all those positive hormones from. If it’s so one sided then why be with another person at all? Just use your hand or a toy. Edit: typo
/r/ExRedPill02/10/23 08:23 PM
11

Yes. They were married for almost 60 years when he died. They loved each other. He used to tell her all the time how beautiful she was. I doubt the sex was wild or super long but it was still happening. My 75 year old dad still grabs my moms ass, they still kiss all the time. Not everyone develops erectile dysfunction and even when someone does, there are ways to have sex that don’t involve needing to be fully hard for penetration. Old people fuck all the time. The highest rate of STDs by age gr…
/r/ExRedPill02/10/23 08:21 PM
11

I’m not but I’m obviously not going to change your mind. This may not be the subreddit for you because you still seem pretty deep in redpill territory with your “women are asexual” nonsense.
/r/ExRedPill02/10/23 07:18 PM
4

Lol is this a joke? I love sex. I usually want it more than men that I date. Every single one of my friends who are women love sex. You know when they don’t love sex? When the guy they’re with can’t make them cum and treats them like a human flesh light. An entire gender is not asexual just because you can’t pleasure your partner.
/r/ExRedPill02/10/23 07:12 PM
10

That 100% makes this make a lot more sense. Although I have known people in arranged marriages who talk about how the love is something that has to grow over the course of the relationship and with a lens of familiarity. So I don’t even think this is a cultural thing necessarily. I think this guy has some emotional issues of his own, and cultural misogyny definitely might be at play too, and so he assumes everyone else is lying about being able to feel deep connection to other people. Little bit…
/r/ExRedPill02/10/23 07:03 PM
8

Wonder if we can say the same about your wife.
/r/ExRedPill02/10/23 06:59 PM
16

Tell that to my 65 year old mom and 75 year old dad. They’re still fucking and they are still talking about fucking which is obviously why I know lol. When my grandmother was still alive and about 85 she’d say “Jim it’s time for bed” at 5pm to get my grandpa to come and have sex with her. The better I get to know my boyfriend the more I want him sexually. Seeing him through an objectively unsexy medical issue, surgery, and recovery increased my primal want of him in a way that probably seems par…
/r/ExRedPill02/10/23 06:55 PM
6

Ingrained misogyny, thinking it means they will be taken care of, confusing wanting a more traditional relationship set up with red pill ideology, low self esteem/feeling that’s what they deserve, confusing supporting and caring about men’s issues with being a complete denier of feminism/ believing women are way more privileged, an attempt to appear “chill” and get men’s acceptance and attention, buying into the concept of biological determinism… I think there are a lot of reasons but those are …
/r/ExRedPill19/09/23 03:58 PM
1

I’m reading your comments and I genuinely feel like I could have written them myself right down to being unhappy but not wanting to leave.
/r/ExRedPill16/09/23 01:42 AM
1

I know how you feel. The guy I’ve been dating on and off for several years has some core views that I find very problematic and they have me really questioning the relationship. It’s like there are no shades of gray and impact doesn’t matter, in his words what matters is “finding objective truth”. It’s gotten to a point where I am worrying about effect on future children, his respect for me, if this is someone I would be proud to introduce as a husband or if I would be embarrassed by him. It suc…
/r/ExRedPill16/09/23 01:39 AM
1

I think sometimes women are afraid to complement men because they worry it will be taken as romantic interest. I also think some women don’t realize or think about how little men get complimented and that it’s just as important for men to hear positive affirmations. But know that even for stereotypically attractive men they don’t get a lot of out of the blue complements. Even men in relationships don’t always get complimented by their partners. I make an effort to compliment men, and especially …
/r/ExRedPill18/08/23 11:43 PM
-3

So I am a member of a few of those groups, never have posted anyone there. But I have seen it legitimately save a few women from danger which is what the groups were originally intended for. Now I see people just comment shitty things about cock size or income and that really grosses me out. If she was afraid and posted just looking for reassurance that you had never hurt anyone I personally would not be upset, although I can see how it feels like an invasion of privacy. As for talking to multip…
/r/MensRights28/05/23 07:48 PM
2

If I said all men sexually assault and harass you would be saying not all men. I’m saying not all women to the remark that every single woman on Earth feels what you are projecting onto them. It’s also not misandry because it is MEN that came up with those rules for other men and some women have internalized them. Really, there are some great studies and books on this subject, including the Frans De Waal book I mentioned. He is an evolutionary biologist and an animal behaviorist. We are not our …
/r/MensRights16/04/23 05:15 PM
2

Patriarchal society was founded by men, with men in mind as the primary position in society. As things have progressed it has harmed men just like it has harmed women due to outdated concepts about what it means to be a “man”. The women going on about something being unmanly or saying with seriousness that something gave them “the ick” are not good people. That’s ingrained misogyny. I’m not going to get into the ways men in power do not do things with women’s interests in mind, this isn’t the su…
/r/MensRights16/04/23 04:49 PM
2

That’s just… not true. Any of it, especially that women are inherently attractive. Patriarchal concepts can hurt men just like they hurt women. It’s a patriarchal concept that men can’t show weakness or have struggles. Patriarchy does not mean all men are in solidarity, it seems like you don’t have a great grasp of the concept. You don’t have to believe I care about equity for both sexes. You can stay bitter. I’ll stay in this sub and continue to do what I can to make things better for all the p…
/r/MensRights16/04/23 04:30 PM
2

No women’s problems don’t have to be solved first, hence why I care about the discussions on this sub. Most of the posts aren’t like this. I came from… already being subscribed to this subreddit. If you want to tell yourself that that’s what’s keeping you from getting fucked, sure whatever makes you comfortable. I’ve seen a lot of ugly losers with hot girlfriends.
/r/MensRights16/04/23 04:20 PM
2

Ok. This is useless because if you can’t see that there are still plenty of issues with women’s rights to be worked on then you are too deep in your self pity to be realistic. There are areas where men are oppressed. I’m on this sub because I think that’s just as important as women’s oppression. You just want to hate the opposite sex so you’re free to do that. Might be a reason you aren’t getting any sex though.
/r/MensRights16/04/23 04:13 PM
3

Lol ok dude. I’m not gaslighting you, I didn’t say your reality or experience isn’t real. I can only speak from my own experience, and what I’ve been told by men around me about their experiences in dating. I also didn’t say all men are trash or abusers. I have plenty of friends that are men, great dad, have dated a couple good guys. Dating websites and men hitting on women in bars also aren’t representative of all men, and those are the “options” I’m talking about. I’m not a victim. I’m respons…
/r/MensRights16/04/23 01:11 AM
2

Depends on the woman and location how many options she has. And in some cases yes I think the insane number of options, where most of them are bad or potentially dangerous can sometimes be worse. It’s two different concerns because again different experiences. One doesn’t have to be worse than the other for something to be a legitimate issue. I would say a woman making a post on twoxchromosomes about how men are privileged in every way and there is not a single good thing about being a woman, an…
/r/MensRights16/04/23 01:04 AM
2

Because these posts are just a way to be bitter and hate women. There is no nuance or discussion, just hate. They almost always quote the misleading top 10% of men statistic. They assume every single woman is drowning in men wanting a relationship and not 70% creepy or mean fuck boys, 10% abusive assholes, 10% men that just want to fuck you and not even have the decency to be upfront about it, and that leaves 10% that are actually good people. But how many of those people do we actually connect …
/r/MensRights16/04/23 12:56 AM
7

This is bizarre. I wonder if it’s adjusted for by number of women in the field, because if it’s literally just over 10% then male journalists are obviously at way more risk…
/r/MensRights13/03/23 10:44 PM
3

Same. I’m on this sub because I care about gender equity and because I think it’s important to see men’s perspectives. But every once in awhile these posts pop up and just totally piss me off.
/r/MensRights17/02/23 08:34 AM
44

Yeah I honestly don’t trust anyone that says their friend group is a single gender. Hang out with good people that you like and most of the time it will be a mix. I honestly can’t say there is much difference between my guy friends and my girl friends other than different perspectives on things from different life experiences.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/11/22 12:23 AM
1

I think it depends on if the person is working on it or not. I also have a fair bit of insecurity due to abuse in my last relationship and am probably the red flag you are talking about. Do need a fair bit of reassurance. But it is something I know isn’t sustainable and that I’m getting help for. FWB is also getting help and actively working on his issues. If he was resigned to feeling that way forever and expecting me to forever be reassuring him then I would lose attraction.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/11/22 06:17 AM
1

I’m talking more in the general sense. A lot of people commenting here have stories of being consistently socially rejected or bullied. Or yeah even in dating. You see someone in a situation they don’t thrive in and let that be your only impression of them. Just makes me sad in general that people are struggling so much. I don’t think it’s moral judgement. I also make snap judgements of people and have preferences.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/11/22 06:09 AM
2

Because I like to believe that people are better than that. That most people wouldn’t discard a person based on something like being shy.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/11/22 06:00 AM
3

Shallow yes, but the degree to which we are shallow is sometimes a rough thing to accept.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/11/22 11:12 PM
2

I don’t think fake it till you make it is real. I think you will always be faking it to some degree depending on the cause of the social anxiety. I’m advising faking it purely in the sense that if you want a foot in the door for more social interaction, especially romantic, that’s unfortunately probably the reality of what you will have to do. As for my FWB, I think to a degree he is trying to change his personality. He does want to be that outgoing guy. I have nothing to do with forcing that id…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/11/22 11:10 PM
3

I’ve run into them in real life. Never feel threatened here, more just get that initial recoil thinking about men I’ve met irl with that attitude. And thank you I appreciate the support. I’m in therapy too and things are definitely improving.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/11/22 07:25 PM
2

Completely agree. It does no good to invalidate someone’s experience. I have just met a lot of bitter men that have made me feel unsafe. And that bitterness will also kill any potential attraction and it’s something you have to be mindful of. I have my own toxic tendencies from my last relationship that was at times emotionally abusive. I have slips where I behave badly and I also wouldn’t fault my current partner for deciding that it is too much for him. I’m working on healing but it is a long …
/r/PurplePillDebate08/11/22 07:01 PM
5

For anyone feeling the same in this post I have some book recommendations if anyone is interested. “The Body Keeps the Score” is a great book about early life trauma and how it can impact you and your ability to trust and function well into adulthood “Attraction” is a good one about different attachment styles, different ways people go about getting to know each other, etc “How to Win Friends and Influence People” by Dale Carnegie I highly recommend for anyone that wants to try a fake it till yo…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/11/22 06:56 PM
1

Yes and I understand that frustration. I am in no way discounting that that sort of thing is not a choice and it takes a lot of time and effort to work through. I have a problem when I see these posts complaining but then refusing to even acknowledge that there is potential work to be done even if it is slow. It frustrates me. Complaining about it and in some posts villainizing women for not reacting well to your dysfunction is not helpful for anyone. I empathize. I have my own mental health str…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/11/22 06:44 PM
3

Thought I had awhile back, relationship got toxic and I got pretty brutally dumped so he could go try to work it out with his baby mama. Pretty low point for me but I’m with a man now that treats me well and wants to build me up. We both think we’re too incompatible in a lot of little ways that add up to last long term, but it’s nice to have each other right now. Women like me are out there. They’re usually older and have stopped giving a fuck about social norms or rejection. I think you also ge…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/11/22 06:40 PM
2

That makes me so happy to hear. My FWB also came from an extremely abusive home environment that he’s been out of for years and those ramifications LAST. And people fucking suck. You can think someone is weird and not want to be around them and still not be a complete asshole. I really recommend the book The Body Keeps the Score about working through trauma reactions and also anxiety.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/11/22 06:37 PM
2

But see his was like what you are talking about. In high school he’s told me he was very withdrawn, not a ton of friends, very sexually/romantically insecure and not at all approaching women. Spent a lot of time at home. He got therapy and worked on how to power through the discomfort. As weird as it sounds he studied the people who seemed naturally charming and he picked up mannerisms. So in mid college and now beyond that he is so good at it you would have no idea how he feels inside. It break…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/11/22 06:34 PM
5

I’ve had to learn to be so much more overt with my hitting on men. Partially because I apparently have a type that includes some sort of neurodivergent aspect since my last three boyfriends have been on the spectrum. After chatting for a bit and giving subtle signals I basically just say “hey I think you are very cute and would like to get to know you romantically if you feel the same about me”. Can’t get confused about that signal.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/11/22 06:29 PM
1

Are you really being taunted or bullied or is your brain tricking you. My FWB thinks everyone hates him and people are probably making fun of him and thinking he’s stupid. He hates admitting that to me because he’s afraid I’ll think he’s pathetic, but we have to have these talks because he also convinces himself that I’m not actually attracted to him and he’s just convenient right now. None of that is true. I think he is sexy, everyone I talk to talks about what a good man he is, how fun he is, …
/r/PurplePillDebate08/11/22 06:25 PM
14

I hate agreeing with this because I like to believe we aren’t this shallow but it’s true. If you are hot and quiet I might be more interested because there’s mystery. If there is a real high degree of social awkwardness though there is only so much being hot can make up for, especially if you are looking for a relationship and not just a fling.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/11/22 06:20 PM
2

So the guy I’m seeing now I was surprised to find out has crippling social anxiety, believes no one actually likes him, gets uncomfortable in groups. And yet he basically exposure therapy’s himself because he goes out all the time, has a great track record getting women, outgoing, charming, and apparently miserable the entire time he does all of that. It’s hard for me to understand the disconnect but it is possible to just force yourself through it if that is what you want. And finding this out …
/r/PurplePillDebate08/11/22 06:18 PM
7

I guess when I think of a high body count I think of a number that it would be ridiculous to explain by saying you just kept immediately sleeping with people that ditched you right after by accident.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/09/22 03:29 AM
11

Do they? I have never heard a woman describe her sexual history this way.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/09/22 03:19 AM
2

That would be a deal breaker for me. It would show we have very different ideas about sex and intimacy. I wouldn’t be happy in a sexless romantic relationship and I wouldn’t want us potentially rushing into marriage just so we could have sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/09/22 03:17 AM
1

So this is specific to me, but I have been hornier than every single man I have dated. And when I talk to my friends a lot of them are extremely horny too but are either having bad sex and so would rather get off alone, or feel it’s unfeminine to initiate so they only have sex when their partner initiates. I do think women often have just as high a sex drive as men, but because we’ve been told for years that women don’t enjoy sex that we make it seem like there is a way bigger difference in sex …
/r/PurplePillDebate27/09/22 12:23 AM
1

The problem is not having preferences. The problem is having the mindset that what you prefer is the “correct” way to be. And expressing that mindset like an asshole by putting other people down. Yes, I hold women to that standard too. If you want to date a woman with a lower body count because you want someone who has similar views surrounding sex that’s valid and it’s good you know that. If you want to tell all women who have had a lot of sex that they are dirty and used up and NO man will eve…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/09/22 11:33 PM
1

The Latino kids at my school were the ones I know for sure were having sex lol. Or maybe they were just more overt about it, which I honestly respect.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/22 12:25 AM
1

Interesting. Yeah no a lot of the people at my school were just focused on other things I guess.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/22 12:22 AM
1

Haha a high school in the mid west. People had relationships, but I don’t remember it being a huge portion of people to be honest. And not everyone in those relationships were having sex. I dated in high school but never actually got to boyfriend status with anyone. Maybe I just wasn’t paying attention to other people that much lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/22 10:31 PM
1

Lol ok. Well good luck with your Virgin hunting
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/22 02:49 AM
1

You didn’t even put any thought into that response. Why post on a debate sub if you aren’t prepared to actually debate?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/22 02:46 AM
1

Posted this elsewhere too but let me just repost here because it’s relevant. I'm going to write a novel because although I don't see your perspective changing hopefully I can reach some other people that may be on the fence about things like this. Not sure how you got the conclusion from what I said that I'm an example of why not to experiment and have fun. I want a partner to build a life with eventually, and I have no doubt they will sexually satisfy me because when I'm in love and they are tr…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/22 11:17 PM
1

If you’ve only fucked 10 people you aren’t a very good whore. Wouldn’t make much money with only 10 clients.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/22 11:15 PM
2

Yeah that came from BYU. Automatic toss out.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/22 11:15 PM
1

I'm going to write a novel because although I don't see your perspective changing hopefully I can reach some other people that may be on the fence about things like this. Not sure how you got the conclusion from what I said that I'm an example of why not to experiment and have fun. I want a partner to build a life with eventually, and I have no doubt they will sexually satisfy me because when I'm in love and they are treating me well I love the sex and I am focused on them (at least in all past …
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/22 07:40 PM
0

Right because if they don’t know what it feels like for someone to care about their pleasure they won’t leave when they realize the person they’re with doesn’t. That’s all I see when I read these posts.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/22 05:48 PM
0

I’d like to know where you’re getting your stats. I love to fuck. I’ve been with a fair number of people. Never felt dissatisfied when monogamous if a partner is actively trying to please me like the should be. I know what I like now and I’m good in bed. Because I’ve had practice. Some people will never be satisfied with just one person regardless of how many partners they’ve had, others are perfectly happy “settling down”. Just find someone that you are compatible with and love and appreciate t…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/22 05:43 PM
6

I would not be able to be in a relationship where my partner tried to control my masturbation habits. Sure if it was causing issues in our own sex like then a conversation needs to be had, but I’ve never had a problem come up.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/22 03:32 PM
2

Yes! This is what “nice guy” means. If the second it seems like I’m not going to have sex with you you turn into a complete asshole then you suck but half those men describe themselves as nice guys.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/22 04:30 AM
4

I think a lot of people hate that movie because it portrays abuse as BDSM which is dangerous.
/r/AllPillDebate02/09/22 05:49 PM
2

True. Which is why I specified it was anecdotal
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/22 03:26 PM
-1

Depends on the women which men they deem a project I guess, for some that will be someone they think they can change into not being a criminal. Any sort of “project” relationship is not good, but it is common.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/22 07:46 PM
2

Hopefully she got a little more aware of appropriate flirting 🤷‍♀️
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/22 07:45 PM
1

Lol well mine was 5’9 and Latino so not quite
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/22 06:31 AM
3

Yeah that’s over the top. If anything the most I would say is annoying. Because I’m here with friends and don’t want to be fending off dudes all night. But also I get that I’m at a bar and that shit happens there.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/22 09:50 PM
5

No I get where you are coming from. I think it’s more that ok it’s shitty that person is feeling creeped out but that does not mean you yourself are creepy. There will always be those people that make snap judgements and don’t give people a chance due to a variety of factors (racism included). You have every right to be annoyed and hurt. But I don’t like the overarching theme of villainizing women as a whole for feeling uncomfortable when being cold approached in public. Sometimes that’s exhaust…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/22 09:49 PM
4

Striking up a conversation, no. Refusing to end it when someone is uncomfortable or trying to get away, yes harassment.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/22 09:44 PM
6

She is entitled to someone not harassing her. If she asks you to leave her alone or tuns away/moves away you are a shitty person for continuing to make someone feel uncomfortable or unsafe.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/22 09:37 PM
3

Oh I always say out loud I’m uncomfortable. But we’re conditioned to be nice and some women have a hard time doing that. And you’re right you can just shrug off that she thinks you’re creepy and leave her alone. But a lot of these men on here are enraged that anyone could ever have a perception that they are creepy. My point is exactly that it doesn’t mean you are a creepy person. But someone took your action that way and you have to respect that. You can continue approaching women that way if y…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/22 09:35 PM
5

Or maybe that woman has past trauma that makes her extra sensitive. Be more aware of social cues and apologize if someone is clearly uncomfortable and then walk away. You’re right it doesn’t mean you are at your core creepy. You just came off that way to that specific person.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/22 09:32 PM
5

I hope that’s not the case and it’s hard to know either way. I just know I’m my own relationships that’s what I want and I’ll work to make that happen.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/22 08:15 PM
2

I’d say 50:50 on attractiveness
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/22 08:11 PM
8

Yes unfortunately people do tend to be more receptive to people that are around the same level of attractiveness, but not always. There is also the historical aspect of women not having much choice in marriage or really any autonomy in a lot of ways and now the pendulum is far in the other direction. Eventually, hopefully, it will even out and everyone can just be people. I know that doesn’t help men struggling right now but I don’t think this will be the case forever. And women who are consider…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/22 08:10 PM
2

Well this is anecdotal but for sure not in my case. Or several of my friends cases. It has been the sad awkward scientist with a bad childhood or the socially awkward guy who struggles a lot with his mental health, or the extremely neurotic medical student with a fear of abandonment, or the guy that was a virgin because of sexual trauma and feeling uncomfortable around attractive women. None of those guys sound like bad boys to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/22 07:58 PM
10

But the problem is applying Darwin’s Natural selection to the complicated social structure humans have is not possible. We do not allow severely ill children or people to just die. We tend to value love over a number of other more Darwinist things. There are some very good books and articles on Darwinism and it’s inability to fully apply to human society.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/22 07:55 PM
10

https://www.uc.edu/content/dam/refresh/cont-ed-62/olli/s21/darwin-5-psychology-eugenics.pdf Darwinism/ Natural Selection, Social Darwinism, and Eugenics are all different things
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/22 07:51 PM
5

If we want to go the dumbed down everything we do is evolutionary biology route this isn’t true. There are innate things we are preprogrammed for. Our brains are literally built around functioning in social society. So barring a neurocognitive disorder or being non neurotypical you should have a lot of those innate complexities preprogrammed. Then they are built off of by social and experiential learning.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/22 07:36 PM
8

Very few social things are objective.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/22 07:34 PM
10

A lot of socializing is not objective. It’s about reading the other person and respecting their subjective reactions. Saying “I think you’re really pretty” is not objectively wrong. Saying it, seeing it hit wrong with this person and then continuing to push it is objectively wrong.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/22 07:33 PM
11

Or that’s how you’re taking it. Maybe I think you are average looking and just not my type and I’m trying not to be rude. Maybe I’m out with friends and don’t want to be approached by strange men. Maybe I’m in a relationship. Maybe my boyfriend is literally right there. Maybe you did something that made me afraid of you. Maybe the conversation has gone on with you talking about yourself for 10 minutes and I’m over it. Maybe we have nothing in common and I’ve run out of things to say and I’m unco…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/22 07:30 PM
7

This is only true if you have a girlfriend that doesn’t respect you. If some guy no matter how hot was flirting with me in front of my boyfriend and I was politely trying to send signals to disengage at a certain point I would say “I’m not interested in you, you are being disrespectful of my relationship and of me by continuing to harass me”.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/22 07:27 PM
10

No if Gigachad ignores my obvious disinterest and discomfort then he is creepy and pushy and I’m going to guess has the ability to escalate to being dangerous. I will get away from that guy even if it means I have to outright tell him to fuck off and take the verbal berating of “you’re fat and ugly anyway”.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/22 07:25 PM
10

You don’t get to decide how your actions affect someone else. Nothing is objective like that. I’ve made jokes that were harmless and funny (to me), that another person said was hurtful and mean. I didn’t see it that way, but that’s the affect it had. That person is now hurt and my intention at that point doesn’t matter because how it was received is what the effect was. I can apologize and explain that wasn’t my intention (because this does matter as explanation but not excuse), and ask what I c…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/22 07:23 PM
6

THANK YOU! Be friends with woman instead of your only interactions with them being when you want to get in their pants.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/22 07:21 PM
5

Because I don’t want to constantly worry about them at social events. Because even though they may be emotionally available there is a good chance they will have trouble recognizing, understanding, and empathizing with my emotions. Because I am a very extroverted person and I want a partner that isn’t so introverted that our lifestyles don’t match up. Because I don’t want to have to be constantly afraid that I’m going to bruise your ego or that you are going to start trying to control me due to …
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/22 07:19 PM
4

And those traits are largely dictated by culture. In renaissance times it was women with very soft curves because she had enough money and food to be nourished and carry a term pregnancy. Extremely pale skin because it meant you weren’t doing manual labor. No black people because they were “lesser” despite clearly having a whole myriad of desirable traits like insanely fast running (not all black people of course but it is more common in certain African populations). Likewise women picked fat me…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/22 07:09 PM
11

But half the men women pick are not “superior men”. I myself and a lot of women have dated men with clearly undesirable and sometimes abusive traits. Or men who do lack empathy and social understanding. Or men who have dad bod and not six packs (dad bod is always the way to go). But if it was because of biological programming to produce superior offspring we would choose men who were truly socially skilled not just good at faking it, men in the highest tier of physical fitness, men who were Ivy …
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/22 06:58 PM
6

If only we had the Bene Gesserit from Dune to handle all this choice we women need to make for us. Then we could have a true superior breeding program.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/22 06:55 PM
14

Eugenics implies a calculated change to the gene pool. I would have to be actively thinking “this man has an asymmetrical face, probably autism or other mental health issues, he doesn’t appear to be a peak physical specimen as far as fitness, he told me his parents never went to college and he doesn’t strike me as particularly smart. It would not be for the good of the species if I chose to mate with this man and produce subpar offspring with all these “undesirable” traits”.” It would have nothi…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/22 06:53 PM
10

It’s rough and a little off putting for sure. I would still say it was a sweet gesture and she probably needs to work on her boundaries and attachment stuff. I recommend therapy and specific books to everyone that struggles with blurred boundaries or confusion on things like this.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/22 06:48 PM
2

This is such a boiled down fallacy and doesn’t line up at all with the fact that a lot of women struggle with a “savior complex” and pick men that are struggling so they can save them. And I don’t know a man’s past dating/sexual history when we first meet so there is no what for me to judge him on his medals unless he for some reason immediately volunteers all that information to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/22 06:46 PM
18

Here’s the thing. I’m what many would consider a reasonably attractive women, smart, funny, reasonably successful (if you want more feminine traits I can cook, and sew, and I keep a good house, great with kids, but those are really just bonuses and not my personality) blah blah you know the usual criteria. I didn’t lose my virginity until I was 23. Didn’t even get to any penis touching until 22, had my first true kiss in college. Went on a handful of dates in high school, played spin the bottle …
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/22 06:44 PM
8

I agree there are different types of sex. Personally sex with genuine connection and mutual enjoyment (especially if you are in love) is the best sex. But it would be lying to say that there aren’t other perks to sleeping with someone, sometimes more transactionally depending on the situation. It’s up to everyone to decide if they only want sex in those relationships where it is mutual pleasure and a way of building deeper connection or if you are open to more casual things that are usually a bi…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/08/22 08:35 PM
1

I hope not. I’m a woman who for sure won’t be married by 30. Would suck if I have to choose between settling for someone I’m not crazy about and being alone.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/08/22 07:57 PM
1

Because why would someone who loves me and trusts me not want me to get an ego boost? Also if I was dressing that way when we met and it only became a problem once he thought he had some sort of ownership of me then I would have an issue with how he views me and the relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/08/22 05:14 PM
1

If he said he didn’t want me to go out constantly I would feel that was very controlling and it wouldn’t work for me. If the reason he was ever asking me to stay home was jealousy or fear that I was flirting with other men then our relationship has a problem that I would want to work on, but if it was clear he didn’t trust me for no reason then I would leave. I had a partner that liked to pick my outfits when I went out alone or with him. He thought it was fun and sometimes wanted me to dress se…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/08/22 04:36 PM
1

Don’t have time now but I can come back to it later tonight
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/22 08:17 PM
1

I never said I did believe it. But I do think tastes will change over time. There are historical examples of what was attractive that don’t line up with today.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/22 08:04 PM
2

But environment and social conditioning has measurable effects ON biology
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/22 07:33 PM
2

Maybe now the messages have moved to a more feminist perspective but that was not the case when I was growing up. If you’d like me to link you some recent neurobiology studies I certainly can. And I would argue the findings of the study you linked could very well be tied to women not feeling as comfortable revealing how sexual they are. And yes men have told me they are always horny, and usually I can relate. I also think about sex multiple times a day and would happily have sex twice a day if t…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/22 07:15 PM
1

I don’t think that’s true. I think I’ve always been told that men are constantly horny, they’re always trying to initiate sex, men don’t like overly aggressive women, etc. So it is hard for me to not think something is wrong with me when someone is not constantly initiating sex. I also have a high sex drive and often it’s said that women don’t want sex as much or have reactive arousal styles and that isn’t true of me so it adds another layer to my insecurities about blatantly initiating. There i…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/22 06:53 PM
3

I like to go out with friends for fun and to be with my friends. It is a nice ego boost bonus to get attention from men but I would never pretend to be single. I also don’t mind my partner enjoying attention from women when he is out. I think it really depends on the relationship and where each persons boundaries are.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/22 06:27 PM
5

I agree with this. I like to both care for and be taken care of and sometimes this comes out in a traditional gender roles way, other times it doesn’t. I have it societally ingrained in me that if a man is not actively pursuing sex (despite me also not aggressively initiating) that I must not be desirable. I’m working on that because I don’t want to be a partner that never makes their man feel desired because I expect them to read my mind when I’m horny and always initiate. I also think it’s tru…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/22 05:23 PM
4

I really loved Cracked.com in its hay day
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/22 09:27 PM
0

Oh I can totally see that being frustrating, and yeah to be honest small in both length and girth is definitely a handicap. I wouldn’t say it’s a complete rule out but it definitely makes things harder
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/22 05:59 PM
1

Lol yeah I was slightly drunk when I wrote this. You’re right the cut off really is probably 4. I did refer to girth as a component of size, I was just comparing that aspect to length. And the gigantic guy I’m thinking of I am telling you I made him let me measure it and it was very nearly 10 when fully erect. And as far as saying I max out at 9, I have a nine inch dildo that is the most I can take and this guys dick was for sure bigger than that toy. But he’s like a freak of nature and could no…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/22 03:59 PM
1

4 is fine. Figure out the positions for each specific woman where you can hit the spots they like. Play with the clit. You’re golden.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/08/22 02:25 AM
1

Yeah this really cracked me up for some reason.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/08/22 02:23 AM
-2

Girth is more important than length. I’ve been with a pretty wide spectrum of sizes. I think honestly like 4 and over you’re for sure okay. Even 3 if you are good with it. Anything under that and you start to be limited in positions you can do, there’s less sensation to penetration, and it’s not as visually appealing. I tend to prefer bigger because I love giving head and a bigger dick is just more to play with. For PIV though I probably max out at 9 and just because I can take it doesn’t mean i…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/08/22 02:22 AM
1

I dated someone who doesn’t have a formal autism diagnosis, but almost certainly is. He’s my favorite person in the world when he “lets the mask slip”. Unfortunately he has a hard time doing it because it’s drilled into him not to, and then he acts like a cocky asshole. My point here is I wish he would just be himself because I am so in love with the man that is underneath all the social construct bullshit. There are women out there who will love you. It’s true that some masking will probably be…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/08/22 08:22 PM
1

This explanation made me feel A LOT better about the couple 6 and 7 ratings I got on r/rateme on my old account.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/22 07:29 AM
1

What?! She is insanely beautiful without makeup. Great bone structure and lips and beautiful skin.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/22 07:27 AM
1

Another wife? No. Wanted to have an open relationship, not a dealbreaker.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/22 12:38 AM
1

I agree. Some people build relationships based only on the sexual compatibility without realizing it. When they begin to realize all the important things they don’t like about each other or how their lifestyles completely clash then it ruins the sexual attraction too.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/22 06:33 PM
1

Completely disagree. The closer and more familiar I’ve grow to the guy I’m seeing the more I want him sexually. Now granted we haven’t been married 20 years or anything, but we’ve been through a fair amount of overly familiar/unsexy stuff and I still want to blow him every chance I get.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/22 06:32 PM
2

To be honest I have sort of done this. Unfortunately sometimes it’s easier than saying no and being grilled about why or having them try to guilt you. And you can’t always tell if someone is going to be that guy, so you just have sex to get it over with. I’ve only done that once and then I learned my lesson not to let it get to someone’s house if I wasn’t feeling it.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/22 06:27 PM
1

Genuine compliments, lots of eye contact, wanting more intimate positions/ positions they can really look at you in, agree with really deep/passionate kisses (I rarely will French kiss a guy I’m not super into), more thoughtful initiation, interest in your fantasies and attempting to fulfill them. Wanting to go down on you a lot (assuming they don’t just hate giving oral). There are lots of indicators besides just the dirty or animalistic ones. I dirty talk in whatever sexual situation because I…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/22 06:25 PM
2

Yes thank you for making this point. You can be turned on and ready for sex and your vagina just doesn’t catch up. Lubrication CAN be one indicator but it’s not the best or even a very good one.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/22 06:20 PM
3

It’s true. I’m this girl sometimes and it’s for sure an anxiety and codependency thing. I get my security and validation from feeling needed. People who are the same do need therapy (I’m in therapy) because it is not a way to be a good partner or have a healthy relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/22 06:18 PM
4

Yeah I’ve also done this. A man doesn’t have to be stereotypically attractive for me to sleep with him. Especially if we connect in other ways or I’m just especially horny. I can’t be like completely turned off by them, but that rarely happens.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/22 06:16 PM
-2

But safety, security, and stability doesn’t have to be financial. I want you to make me feel safe when I’m with you, that’s a component of your personality. It means you take an interest in me, are respectful and communicative, and I can be myself with you (and you can be yourself with me). Security means knowing we are committed to each other and that we will both work to grow together and always be improving our relationship. Also that we both want the best for each other and know the other pe…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/22 06:14 PM
1

I would argue that most women find what they don’t want through repeat bad experiences. I had some general things I looked for when I first started dating. It’s much more specific now.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/22 10:40 PM
2

Is this sarcasm? I really do lol. I want a bear.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/22 10:35 PM
1

Dad bod is different than chubby. I can honestly say I’m very attracted to bald bearded dudes and around 5’10” is ideal height for me. Chemistry when meeting is most important if I’m looking for a fling or FWB, but for a relationship it’s mostly your personality/our mutual interests and how easy you are to be around that gets me. Back to original point though, it’s true that if you aren’t physically well maintained or are just super unfortunate looking I won’t be into it. Physical attraction isn…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/22 10:34 PM
2

But there is a certain amount of social intelligence that goes into picking up on that, and how to approach it if you’re also interested. Social intelligence doesn’t mean manipulation, it means being tuned in to other peoples feelings and needs and knowing what behavioral responses from you will be good for them. And of course also you in a lot of cases.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/22 10:28 PM
2

Yeah I’m pretty overt when I’m into somebody. It’s not tiny hints. It’s “I’m having a great time” “Of course I’ll watch Starwars with you”, lots of touching, lots of playing with my hair. Sometimes bluntly saying they turn me on.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/22 10:26 PM
1

I agree to some degree. Current (off and on) partner is almost certainly autistic. He can read the room but has to work a fair amount at it. He can be frustrating one on one. But I love him and the ups that kind of brain has to offer. And he definitely picks up on or maybe even overestimates being flirted with lol. But I agree with the overall point. Work on your social skills and empathy. It will take you a long way.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/22 10:24 PM
2

Thank you. Maybe you just aren’t my preference or I don’t feel personally connected. Doesn’t mean I think I’m better than you. And yes as someone who has been on many first dates and come away not interested, it gets boring fast.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/22 10:21 PM
2

Hard agree. Be hurt or insulted or whatever, but be an adult and just move on. No need for a scene. And if you’re asking out someone “with nothing to offer” then why even care if they reject you.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/22 10:20 PM
1

Definitely true but there is a difference in white lies like “yes I loved that movie” and bigger lies like “of course I get tested after every partner”.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/22 10:17 PM
1

I agree. Why lie? If they don’t respect me after knowing my sexual history then our values differ and we aren’t compatible. Not to mention you aren’t letting someone give informed consent. More partners is more chance to catch things and should be part of the conversation about STD testing and birth control.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/22 10:15 PM
1

Wow that’s… spot on. Apparently I’m right on the line. Not planning on anymore partners for at least the foreseeable future though so I guess I’m just below slut.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/22 10:12 PM
1

This is true. We’ve moved so far to black and white thinking it seems you have to just lean into it to get things done. And yes in the past radical action has been the best motivator for change.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/22 09:44 PM
1

BRB will Google
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/22 09:40 PM
1

I think we’re just grasping at straws. What can we do? How can we have a nuanced discussion, it seems we can’t. So what radical things can we do for change? At some point your own morals start to overtake your desire to be politically successful.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/22 09:29 PM
1

This is what people aren’t getting. Pregnancy and birth is scary shit. In the US we still have some of the worst maternal and fetal outcomes for a developed country, especially minority women. Once that baby is out of me all of that is over. So I drop it off at a safe haven. Is the baby a person of color? Is the baby disabled? Is the baby drug addicted? Good luck placing that kid in anything but the foster system. The already overburdened, underfunded, foster system. And that’s if the mother is …
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/22 09:27 PM
1

Well it goes against your human definition. Most cellular processes handled by machines and medications and unable to respond to stimuli. Scientifically and philosophically we really don’t have a good metric for humanity. My god we can’t even figure out how to classify viruses. As for brain dead or severely disabled people with no awareness I said sacrificing FOR them. Should I be forced to give them a kidney if one of theirs starts failing and I’m a match? Lower my quality of life for someone e…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/22 09:21 PM
1

Ah I see. I mean I guess that’s less worrying to me. Would probably work on some of the older men, but I don’t really think it will fix the roe v wade thing. As others have pointed out anti choice women are also responsible for this.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/22 08:48 PM
1

Same. My mom is constantly annoyed by my dad. They’re great, they love each other, normally communicate in a healthy way, etc. But I hope I’m never driven crazy by my spouse wanting to hang out with me. To be fair my dad is annoying, but still lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/22 08:47 PM
1

Unfortunately we basically already have United church and state again it seems. A lot of people would unironically say we are a Christian nation.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/22 08:45 PM
1

Those people are both just hot and I want to see them bone.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/22 08:42 PM
1

I agree to a certain extent, you also need to have the self awareness to see what parts of your “authentic” self aren’t good.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/22 08:40 PM
1

Yeeeeep
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/22 08:38 PM
1

Women shouldn’t be going on sex strikes anyway. What an immature and toxic way to interact with your partner.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/22 08:38 PM
2

That’s insane. 5’10” is my favorite height. Just tall enough to look up at but not so tall that I need a step stool to kiss them.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/22 08:21 PM
1

Agree with this. I would say personally 5’5” (my height) is when it would be less than ideal to me. I’d get over it for sure if I liked the guy, but it would probably hinder initial attraction because I’m not used to the man being the same height or shorter than me.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/22 08:19 PM
1

No states allow third trimester abortion without medical necessity. And if they start restricting traveling to get abortions what happens to all those women in states where abortion IS illegal.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/22 08:17 PM
1

No argument there. It’s just easier to focus on the men making the decisions than the people voting them in. I’m not saying it’s right, it’s just where that reaction comes from.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/22 08:16 PM
1

An infant needs care but not literal parts of another persons body to live. A brain dead person doesn’t respond to stimuli which was part of your definition for living.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/22 08:15 PM
1

Are they still human? Should other people be sacrificing for them if they are still human?
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/22 08:13 PM
2

Yeah and that sucks that even after rights termination there are still ways to come after those men. I mean now where abortion isn’t really a choice anymore I get the financial responsibility aspect more. Other people being shitty and hypocritical doesn’t have to make you that way too.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/22 07:19 PM
1

Also are people with chromosomal abnormalities not human? What about people who are born without the cerebrum and are just vegetables? Where do we draw the line, and does it even matter in the case of people making decisions about their own health.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/22 06:59 PM
1

But the fetus needs her body to live. That would all be well and good if you could take it out of her and grow it somewhere else. People who are brain dead (not human by your standard) can’t even have organs harvested to save someone who is still functional. Why should someone have to go through the ordeal and sometimes danger of pregnancy just to save someone else?
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/22 06:58 PM
-1

I personally have always thought there should be easier ways for men to sign away paternal rights if a woman decides to have a child the man doesn’t want. Her right to make final decisions about her body, but both have the right to decide on parenthood and financial burden. Plenty of women just want progress for everyone, men included. Equality in respect and social standing while recognizing each genders unique issues and struggles. That’s what actual feminism without all its radical offshoots …
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/22 06:50 PM
8

That would be a gigantic portion of the population. We have a major poverty problem and telling people who will probably always be poor that they can never have sex is unrealistic and unreasonable.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/22 06:47 PM
1

Debatable. Depends on how you define human, which is hard to do without bringing religion into it. And even if they are human who is to say they deserve more rights than the fully formed person acting as an incubator?
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/22 06:46 PM
5

You don’t care about women’s rights but I should care about mens? That’s a pretty shitty way to view human progress. To only care about the rights of people who are the same as you.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/22 06:45 PM
1

Because most of the politicians historically trying to ban abortions have been men. Men who seem to not even have an understanding of pregnancy or women’s reproductive systems. Unfortunately recently there have been some very loud female conservatives also participating. My knee jerk reaction is to say fuck men who think they can tell me what my choice should be. But truthfully I know it is a more complicated issue than that. The man who got me pregnant should have input (in most cases). My male…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/22 06:44 PM
1

Also if your metric for valuing someone as a person is just that you haven’t kicked them out… that’s a bit disturbing.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/22 04:41 AM
1

Seriously? If I’m super sick and someone wants to have sex, yes I’d be suffering through it. If I’m in the middle of a mental health crisis that day, can’t get in the mood or out of my head, now penetration hurts, yes I’d be suffering through it. I feel disrespected, pressured, or afraid to say no, yes I’d be suffering through it. I love sex. I can only think of one or two occasions I’ve ever turned it down. But there are certainly times it would be very unpleasant and dehumanizing like those I …
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/22 04:40 AM
1

Plenty of people have sex with bare minimum attraction and people stay in bad relationships out of convenience and fear of being alone all the time.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/22 01:54 AM
4

I’m a big acts of service person so even just like changing my sheets while I’m in the shower or something would have me jumping someone. I am a sucker for the sweet talk too though. Or undivided attention to my body randomly. Or a from behind hug…. I think I’m just horny 😂
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/22 09:47 PM
2

Probably not. I mean if I didn’t get gifts even on my birthday I would feel sad and uncared about and that would effect my desire to have sex, but just not being showered in gifts wouldn’t. It also depends on why I’m having sex. In the context of a relationship I want the deeper connection so if that is totally gone then the sex starts to not be good and I get less interested. But honestly I’d probably still be having sex because I just love sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/22 07:55 PM
7

I love gifts. I love validation. But I don’t need an excess of those things to “allow” sex. Also hope my partner doesn’t think of sex as something I’m allowing. It’s something we do together because we both want to.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/22 02:48 PM
2

So are you talking like a nice hand job or full blown intercourse? Because one of those is painful if you can’t get in the mood.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/22 02:44 PM
7

I have sex when I’m not totally into it. Because yes I want to make my partner happy. He has done the same for me. BUT I would hope that if I was really not up for sex he wouldn’t still want me to just suffer through it. Mismatched libidos can kill a relationship and so can not communicating which are both things it seems like you are taking as a given for all relationships. Talking and compromising almost always solve things like this.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/22 02:43 PM
11

I’m a younger woman. I don’t expect gifts and as for validation I just need enough to make it clear you value me as a person and think I’m hot. Her tips for doing that are what I would also suggest.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/22 02:37 PM
42

Yeah I would happily have sex every day with someone I am attracted to, but being treated poorly or someone not putting in any effort with me will dry me up immediately.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/22 02:35 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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