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EyedSun Archive

View 0 posts and 333 comments by EyedSun on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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4

I don't think most people form this sort of comparison in their head. Like they don't think a stranger on the street they see for a second is a better person than a friend they have known for 5 years. It sounds mentally exhausting to constantly rank and compare and make extensive hypotheticals every time you see a person even in passing.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/26 08:50 PM
8

What information is present for her to discern the difference between feigned and real disinterest?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/26 08:40 PM
7

His restraint, to use your term, can also be a sign of disinterest. Insufficient information present compared to one who makes his interest known.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/26 08:38 PM
16

Are fifteen minutes enough for her also to receive sexual satisfaction, or is her satisfaction not much of a consideration for you?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/26 08:34 PM
6

For what type of relationship and duration? How high or low do you rank having any interactions outside of the bedroom?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/26 08:33 PM
1

Most people were not upper class then nor are they today. I suspect upperclass back then also actively worked to reduce the number of children they had.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/26 08:22 PM
1

So this analogy you are using is different than the one I am using. Mine is more about literal nature of hunting. I suspect yours is entirely metaphorical and is not about hunting at all.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/26 08:20 PM
2

A lot of "value" ideas stems from chasing behavior, the harder the prey - the more valuable it is and correlations between promiscuity and infidelity. I don't think that analogy works in nature. You want the prey animal from the herd that costs the least in energy and harm to get.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/26 08:01 PM
1

Beneficial for whom?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/26 07:57 PM
1

Victorian era also featured child labor. Are you suggesting a return to that?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/26 07:52 PM
1

Well society also changed from previous centuries. We don't rely as heavily on human labor to survive, due to improved technology. There is less need to have 5 to 8 kids because of improved survival rates of children and children's labor no longer being necessary for the family unit to survive.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/26 07:48 PM
1

Are they not approaching because they do not want to discomfort the woman, or do they fear a consequence of discomforting her? Ditto confidence: not approaching because they in general have low confidence, or because of a fear of negative outcome?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/26 07:36 PM
1

They don't view police, for example, as a danger. They view those men who harm others--and in particular here, harm women--as a danger. But they have limited info to assess if an unfamiliar man is one of the dangerous ones.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/26 07:27 PM
7

Why do you feel it is a trick question to define your terms or claims?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/26 09:37 PM
2

Why is it deemed self centered in one gender but not the other then?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/26 09:35 PM
3

Have to or desire to approach because of a perceived benefit?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/26 09:31 PM
8

Similar thoughts here: I would like OP to define self-centeredness, narcissism, and vapid/inane/shallow conversation--without using those terms.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/26 09:24 PM
2

If women did approach more, do you feel the rest of the relationship would look fundamentally the same or different than those in which men approach more? In other words, what are you hoping would change by women approaching more?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/26 07:57 PM
1

Guess I don't think it is that controversial, as long as there is mutual respect in either the casual or relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/26 07:23 PM
1

Ah, that was where I was getting confused. So basically the guy can hold out for a relationship he likes better if he gets sexual needs met in casual in the interim?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/26 07:12 PM
0

That sounds like two separate lanes, though, not "do casual, get better at relationships." It sounds more like your claim is: "if your main fear is lack of sex in a relationship, don't stay in a bad relationship just for the sex. Instead try casual for that need."
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/26 07:07 PM
1

Can you define that without using the terms? Like describe it through actions, etc., to help me better understand what you mean?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/26 03:00 PM
1

I don't see the connection you are drawing here. Though there are different flavors of casual (ONS vs FWB), it is generally considered opposite of a relationship (generally seen as a LTR-oriented). In your claim, what is transferable from casual into relationships?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/26 02:47 PM
3

In the spilling example, unless someone is spilling a bottle of water the majority of the time they have it with them, then they are taking initiative to not spill it. But no amount of initiative and preplanning will keep one from having zero spills in their lifetime. Perfection is unattainable.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/26 11:06 PM
1

My first question would be what are the metrics shown on the free and boosted accounts? Do they actually show how many people were exposed to the profile (impressions)? How many of those viewed it? If not, then how can you tell if boosting is really doing anything in their own system? Edit: in other words, what exactly is the boost buying?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/26 11:05 PM
1

My underlying argument was that who signs the check or makes the transaction does not always tell the full story of who purchased an item or who decided to purchase it. Namely, in my case, it was often a woman doing the actual admin work behind the transaction though it was a joint purchase. Edit: My ultimate point when people talk about who buys more, on surveys is: Which stage of the transaction the survey captures will shape the result.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/26 09:57 PM
2

You're forgetting that most "financial decisions" aren't leisure spending but groceries and other necessities As someone who handles customer checks as part of my job, I notice even when both names are listed on the check address area, the majority of the time it is the woman's signature. These aren't female-oriented goods either. Just simply women tend to be the ones carrying, writing, and mailing in checks.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/26 07:14 PM
1

I’ve heard so many women complain about their husband not doing xyz and when you ask “have you communicated this?” You get the “No, he should just know!” Well if it is, for example, who is doing laundry, and the point of contention is they share in it but she didn't state that goal--isn't he also just assuming she should know that he expects her to do all laundry even though he doesn't state that? Meaning, the burden is even more so on him if he expects to do none of it, to state that to her. Ba…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/26 04:41 PM
–

However, going a lot younger (>10 year's) often comes with it's own problems (different life stages and "topics"). Yes, and if she is significantly younger and has different priorities than the fifty-year-old, is he expecting her to completely change her priorities to be with him. Or on the other hand, if he does have same priorities as her, a 22 year old let's say. If he had the same ones for all those years, will he continue having them for the next 22 years, while she might move on to other p…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/26 02:44 PM
–

ignoring men’s psychological development being 7-11 years behind women - Where do you get this figure from? then having to support a terminally ill parent while working a dead-end office job until my mid-30s. This is related to one of my biggest concerns with large age gaps. The expectation of elderly care or child care unduly falling on the younger party. I have fewer concerns if the elder party showed a plan for reducing the burden of the younger party. I feel the same way about parents in gen…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/26 02:35 PM
2

That begs the question what is the test? Multiple choice? Solve for 4+4? If Sally and Joe both picked A or wrote 8, it seems highly unlikely it would go unnoticed that only Joe's answer was marked falsely as incorrect.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/26 10:07 PM
5

In your title you have “Women Sometimes Do Bad and Anti-Social Things towards Men and Boys,” and your opening discusses midandry. Yet one of your points is polgyny in dating. What is the connection you are drawing there given that this is heterosexual polygyny you are discussing? How are polygynous women being anti-social to men and boys if they are being polygynous with men?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/26 09:18 PM
–

Do you consume products, or do you make them all from scratch on your own? If the former, you need to have a way of showing they meet the needs or wants of the consumer, or how else will the consumer ever buy the thing they want or need?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/26 07:28 PM
2

Meanwhile women compartmentalize friends they will never fuck but want support/resources from, men they want to fuck, and so on. Are you presuming women only seek one-sided friendships?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/26 07:17 PM
3

Or perhaps there is a difference in beliefs that friendship can be an end state vs only a step along the road to sex or romantic relationships.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/26 07:13 PM
0

I mean your comment.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/26 05:04 PM
0

I think you mistook this for a porn sub.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/26 04:19 PM
1

Do you do heirlooms and seed save or just buy plants or seeds every year?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/26 04:10 PM
1

Have you considered hydroponics? I know someone who does that and has a constant supply of lettuce and kale. They do other plants too. Cherry tomatoes once.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/26 04:03 PM
3

In this sub, there are some men who start posts on the unfairness of the girlfriend treating her past boyfriends better than the current. Generally in terms of sex. If the girlfriend was willing to spend an entire year focusing on this inexperienced man's needs and wants over her own, coaching and encouraging, then what would she do if she got involved next with one of the men who want same or better treatment than her prior relationships? When would she ever get to retire being a coach or servi…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/26 12:12 AM
6

I meet still do filter for a ‘provider’ - someone with an income higher than theirs At what point does a disparity in income mean he is "providing"? can provide a cushy life if they decide to build a family What is the preferred alternative to joint income for family building? Only one of them working? For this specific topic, her being the one working and him being stay-at-home?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/26 07:24 PM
1

Can you define logic, as well as the societal conditioning, you refer to here?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/26 02:43 PM
3

Because it eliminates the ones who won't wait that long? Doesn't have to eliminate all pump-and-dumpers to give her some benefit.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/26 01:21 PM
4

If you want the same thing the other guy had with her, then where does the different treatment of her happen from you?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/26 01:14 PM
7

Punished how?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/26 01:12 PM
5

Scenario 2 would most likely be making her current partner wait when she has sex faster with other men in her past. This one is also weird because it seems like what other men got early you suddenly have to wait for. Are you presuming her partner's satisfaction is main reason she has sex early or waits? I felt so empty… a man far more sinister than me had way more access to you and will probably experience the deepest form of kinky sex with her than you, current boyfriend ever will. Kinky at wha…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/26 01:09 PM
2

I guess the issue is why shame these women? Why just not associate with or not date them? Why, in other words, try to affect their behavior?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/26 10:26 PM
1

I legally am not allowed to do what lions do and remove the previous lion's cubs before making my own. Is the law the only thing stopping you, or was this statement just hyperbole? If you stated this idea to a woman, what do you anticipate her reaction being?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/26 10:11 PM
1

You also mention new women every week. Does that mean they do not come back for second meet ups, or he refuses to have second meet ups?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/26 04:51 PM
2

The amount of good men heavily outweigh amount of women who are potentially good. The good in this context is being a good partner. The dating pool of men consist of narcissistic, self centered people and unable to see men as human beings. understand men they are attracted to have abundance of women under their hands to give them freedom to treat women as expendable options So the definition of good man in a relationship is to treat women as expendable options, and the definition of a good woman…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/26 03:55 PM
1

It also shows how much the whole "size doesn't matter" thing is How are the women realizing he has a "huge dick" before they are undressing for sex?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/26 03:35 PM
–

Then, by this definition, wouldn't your list be more accurate if you said "accept abuse in public"?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/26 02:33 PM
–

This one caught my eye: more emotional regulation due to the damage men cause, What do you mean by it? What is the regulation? And also which man caused said damage: A prior relationship or the current man in question?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/26 02:18 PM
1

I mean, she has to have a scenario before her to judge confidence for the most part? The behaviors and interactions are a major part of what she is judging confidence by. I also wonder if confidence is a rather catch all term you are using. Which is why I asked after specifics.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/26 04:53 PM
1

I think women not liking some guy due to his confidence are not thinking of it in general terms, but in context. I focus on specificity because it helps those affected find a more optimal path to reaching their goal.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/26 04:07 PM
7

Again, I really dont think my claim is deniable, that women get much more leeway in this regard than men. For your claim, why did you choose to compare whom the guy looks at sexually to his girlfriend's clothing? Different situations, different reactions. A more direct comparison is a woman looking at or accumulating a bank of attractive people to look at vs men doing it.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/26 03:34 PM
2

Then why add the other aspects? Why not narrow your topic for debate purposes? What does adding the rest gain you in terms of debating?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/26 03:27 PM
2

No, I mean what is the lack of confidence preventing. Since more men than women approach, is it preventing approaching? If the desire is to be approached, is it preventing being in places conducive to that? Is the main concern after the first date is set? How is it showing up there? In an established relationship, how is it showing up there?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/26 03:22 PM
2

What is the role confidence playing here?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/26 03:05 PM
0

In your view romantic companionship is same as companionship felt between friends?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/26 02:51 PM
1

Take balding guys terrified of losing their sex drive if they take anti-hairloss medication. That's kind of absurd. If you're already unattractive, going bald only makes it worse. So why hold onto a libido that just enslaves you, when you're the one who keeps getting rejected and can't generate real attraction in the first place? That situation then highlights the fact that what they are calling libido is about more than frequent orgasms. It is about other needs or wants tied to it. It would hel…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/26 02:48 PM
5

but sex to us doesn’t hold this mad importance like it does for women, we don’t give birth, we don’t get used for sexual access so to us it’s just another activity only if you’re religious does it hold a mad importance. I imagine part of the reason such a man does not attach much importance to it is that he presumes he will derive sexual pleasure from it. If orgasms were reduced to, say, only 30% likelihood, he would have a different perspective.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/26 02:40 PM
3

Your average joe who swipes isn’t doing well on there because he isn’t part of the top picks You have stated elsewhere that dating apps are for hook ups. Does that mean the average joes are only seeking hook ups on there as well?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/26 02:34 PM
4

As the title says, everybody thinks men demand women to have bottom of the barrel standards for men who are ugly, short, balding, etc. No, actual normal men don't require that, we require for women to have realistic standards. Like a 5 woman thinks she is a 10 and thus also wants a 10 guy. But rarely you will see an average woman that a really wants a man at her own value, an average man. They will require for a man to have Tom's height, Jason's money, Ben's dick, John's face and thus they creat…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/26 02:00 PM
1

Because to me, the existence of indecent people succeeding is evidence enough that decency is not a necessary condition to romantic success. For example, if the decency of the man does not matter, does that automatically presume the decency or desire for decency of the woman does not? Or does it simply mean people with similar views on decency (on what is decent) tend to get together?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/26 01:37 PM
0

I imagine many "monsters" you mentioned hold consistent values as well. They just aren't the values others hold.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/26 01:27 PM
0

This begs the question, why stay on the straight and narrow when being a monster will get you better results? Why hold consistent and coherent values and world views when you will simply lose out to others who walk through life thinking with their dick/clit? What incentive is there to select for good people? u/Ok_Use7 made a good point on asking who are the people GP and the like are pulling. Are you suggesting that most men would be happy with that specific population segment? If not, then why …
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/26 01:21 PM
2

It's not feasable to control mens "horny". Why? Best is we can stop women, from capitalising on our physical needs. We are merely a consumer or a customer. So morality is not involved with consuming? Only with selling? And "a customer is always right". Define that further, please. If you meant it literally, I can see many cases where it is wrong. An example is a customer going into a grocery store demanding eggs when all eggs are sold. Or to make it more absurd, demanding to be sold a car from D…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/26 12:48 PM
3

What is the source you are using regarding the income earned by these people?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/26 12:38 PM
5

It's not like women are doing it for free Is the fact there is money earned a major part of your standard for ethical or not?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/26 12:36 PM
2

I'm talking about the privileged people, who choose to use Instagram, onlyfans etc, to get filthy rich. Is your issue 1) that they financially benefit from these venues, 2) that they greatly financially benefit from these venues, 3) that they use these venues, 4) that they perform these acts for money whatever the venue, or 5) some combination of any of these? No matter, what financial difficulty we have, we never climb down from our standards, you wont see much of us doing only fans etc. Are hi…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/26 12:27 PM
6

Do they discuss if the men in the pair bonds themselves want children? I read through a good deal of it, but I didn't seem to notice that. Is that part of why they focus on female single parents? Also, their focus seems to be less on the understanding the causes than on proposing the solution, which makes sense for this style of paper. But I am always a big believer of understanding things upstream before you apply a solution. Match the solution to the cause, or more likely causes. If multiple c…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/26 12:15 PM
–

Can you explain then the point of your counterexample in your original post?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/26 11:11 PM
–

Then why was that your example for: That was my counter example immediately following "Without this domain, people become insecure in their standing." What was the distinction you were trying to make when you said, without domains: Suppose that as a man, I set my domain as the default for the entire relationship. That would mean that my wife or girlfriend isn't just second in command when it comes to masculine things like providing or doing things physically around the house, but she comes secon…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/26 08:48 PM
–

So you are saying if people do not deliberately set their "domains," they default to one deciding everything is their domain and the other person comes second even regarding their own needs and wants?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/26 08:05 PM
–

How does your response answer this part: Suppose that as a man, I set my domain as the default for the entire relationship. That would mean that my wife or girlfriend isn't just second in command when it comes to masculine things like providing or doing things physically around the house, but she comes second when it comes to picking what to eat or discussing everyday things.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/26 08:01 PM
–

I think the healthy relationship which merely contains some transactions (ie you provide assistance to your friend, and they provide assistance to you, but you also genuinely like each other) allows both parties to have their own domain. Without this domain, people become insecure in their standing. Suppose that as a man, I set my domain as the default for the entire relationship. That would mean that my wife or girlfriend isn't just second in command when it comes to masculine things like provi…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/26 07:43 PM
–

I've noticed that some women in my social circle when they hit 30 ish, all of a sudden they had a revelation and wanted to settle down with a husband and kids. Are the 30 year old men preferring to live in a style opposite of family oriented at the age, or do they also want to be family oriented at that age?
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/26 11:49 PM
5

Yes, asking that question would get closer to an answer. Also asking what beliefs about female pleasure are his starting point.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/26 11:07 PM
6

Wow. If same guy, then why isn't that the question under debate? What does it take for a woman to act similar to a scripted performance made for entertainment?
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/26 11:03 PM
1

Which would beg the question, why does he think women are incapable of enjoying sex?
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/26 11:01 PM
2

Is not expectation of pleasure part of the man's genuine desire for a woman? So I imagine expectation for pleasure would also factor in her genuine desire. So for short term pleasure goals, I imagine it is the percentage of men who seem likely to her to be safe, produce no long term complications, are attractive to her, and seem likely to be interested in the goal being mutual pleasure. only a truly attractive man (say, top 5% in the looks + status combination) can sexually excite a woman for an…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/26 10:54 PM
5

How are you picturing the interaction going? Are you choosing to date women from another country with comparable income to those from your home country? Are you removing all hint of your potential income? What are you basically changing or hoping is different to have a different outcome than what you face in your home country? Basically, what do you think is actually producing the different dating outcome?
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/26 10:35 PM
1

And then they’ll have to choose average and below average men to protect them from a crumbling society and violent end. Which is self defeating for him anyway if the goal is a beautiful woman. Average women would not be acceptable to such a guy.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/26 09:34 PM
7

So then what is the purpose of this bit of OP post? It is in very first part: Passport bros is the only real solution for average and below average men. And men and women should agree with it
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/26 08:36 PM
2

For the purpose of debate of your proposed idea, I think your argument would be clearer if you stated your claim consistently from the outset. If your position is that both average and above average (beautiful) women generally do not want average men, then say that directly. Right now it switches between "average women" and "beautiful women." That can make your proposal unclear.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/26 08:33 PM
9

The OP seems to feel men and women should both agree with this solution. In other words, society should agree. Why does society have to agree to support this version of "competing"? Why cannot the people who want to "compete" that way do it without involving societal support?
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/26 07:37 PM
2

dating market has changed, leaving the average man essentially invisible. With the rise of dating apps and globalized social networks, the standards for attraction have shifted significantly. The reality we must accept is that average women generally no longer desire the statistically average man. This means short/unattractive men can have a opportunity at a beautiful woman. You list in one paragraph average women. Later, beautiful. What is your claim? Average men are not wanted by beautiful wom…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/26 07:27 PM
3

The experiences of casual sex as a man and as a woman are quite different. In quite a few cases, I imagine the benefits of casual differ between the two as well.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/26 10:01 PM
–

How does the working mom handle having much more than 50% custody in that situation? If it is difficult for the father to juggle caretaking and a job, how is it not equally difficult for the mom?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/26 06:28 PM
–

Is this based on a premise men are monolithic in their desires, or that a woman is to cater to each man's desires even if they contradict each other? In the later case, which of the general men she runs across is she supposed to prioritize, concerning their wants, at any specific time?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/26 02:35 PM
20

Many of your points seem to be about hypothetical survival situations. Logically, how often do you think these will come up in your life? If rarely, then why should it weigh significantly on your own assessment of your expendability? How does it benefit your life to think about yourself in terms of expendability? You mentioned a "gritty and ugly truth" about this topic. But why do you think others give a great deal of thought to your expendability, and why do their opinions trump your belief in …
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/26 03:43 AM
–

If the man prefers 20 year olds, then how does that impact the women older than 20-29? He won't go for them because they are out of his preferred age range.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/26 03:09 AM
–

The age gap argument is just another feminist tool to control and manipulate mens sexuality. Society accepts when an 18yo woman sells her body to her middle aged customers, but if they decide to take it seriously in a committed relationship, then feminists go crazy because the man is given some control of his own sexuality. If this is your belief, that feminism is in some way about controlling male sexuality, how is feminism removing this particular choice from men? Why would you need to persuad…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/26 03:02 AM
–

Just because age gap relationships happen, that does speak to how many people endorse or agree with them. It just means they happen whether or not others feel negatively about them. Different age-gap prone celebrities can draw different responses due to surrounding circumstances, what else is going on in the media at the time, what the media cares to capture and share, etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/26 02:52 AM
–

Is this the Pew study? If so, this is an interesting bit about singles and their reasons: "These reasons vary by age. For non-daters younger than 50, having more important priorities is the dominant reason why they are not looking for a relationship or dates (61% say so).3 Meanwhile, 38% of older non-daters say the same. Younger non-daters are about twice as likely as those ages 50 and older to say being too busy (29% vs. 14%) and feeling no one would be interested in dating them (24% vs. 12%) a…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/26 11:28 PM
–

How does it treat those in non exclusive or casual? Or those currently between relationships? Or those not seeking?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/26 11:01 PM
–

How does the source of those stats define single? As in no relationships, or not married or engaged or in LTR?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/26 08:47 PM
–

Can you expand on this? What is The Worst? And what is the socialization of it?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/26 06:47 PM
–

It is surprisingly difficult to rewire your brain and world view. It is even more difficult to rewire things tied to your sense of survival, for the child develops certain behaviors and beliefs and thought patterns as a response to the abuse, to help that child better survive. Otherwise how you raise children, good or bad, abuse or not, would have no impact on the child's development into an adult. Instead it has a dramatic, deep impact that takes a great deal of work to see, then undo, and then…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/26 06:33 PM
1

As many of these PPB do state they don't want the wife influenced by "western" ideals, it begs the question what ideals is he bringing? Those from her country? Not that likely because they likely have a different view of familial responsibility and gender roles. So what does he view as the ideal relationship here?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/26 06:21 PM
2

One's morals usually have an impact on behavior. Behavior has an impact on attraction.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/26 06:12 PM
–

Get better results with whom? Women who dislike misogyny, for example?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/26 05:34 PM
–

Are those men displaying charm at the time. Or misogyny?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/26 05:14 PM
–

But it is telling that OP finds these deeply broken women to be the most appealing. Given how often some men here word it as just "women" and not women with this disorder, I suspect it isn't even truly about the women. Women are just an outcome. Their focus feels more likely on the male criminal, and it isn't even about his actions as much as they may be connecting to the perceived freedom and self centeredness, the relentless drive to go after what they want without care for what others feel. I…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/26 05:07 PM
–

and many women who were abused had no choice, since they were children at the time To add onto the connection to childhood abuse: becoming an adult doesn't automatically negate 18 years of abuse in childhood. Turning 18 doesn't magically heal them. That is something a surprisingly large amount of people can miss when they suggest women want to be abused or choose abusers knowing they will be hurt. My point being, I suspect a large amount of the women who date abusers met their first abuser (a pa…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/26 04:57 PM
28

I keep noticing that when men bring up “pair bonding,” they usually aren’t talking about how they bond with women. This is an excellent point. Thinking back on its usages on this sub, it does feel like a thing men want from women, but not necessarily what they also want to offer to women. Begs the question if true, what do they feel is their complement to that?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/26 11:42 PM
1

On building compatibility. What if the woman prefers to have higher compatibility from beginning to lessen the occurrence of some incompatibility later. Basically doing more solving to avoid, not more solving when it happens?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/26 11:32 PM
1

It shifts focus from building compatibility to pre-selecting “ideal” partners. Making any little inconvenience or non consequential but not vary desirable trait as a red flag. but not being mindful in what you can do to get the relationship outcomes you want. What if the deal breaker is about avoiding accumulating sunk costs in a situation where one knows (from experience or preference) there is a high unlikelihood of getting the outcome desired? What if the two differ on what is considered inco…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/26 11:17 PM
1

So in response to szclimber comment of: This is it. If men were wanted the same way women are this subreddit wouldn't exist. You would say women do or do not want men in a similar way to men wanting women?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/26 01:37 PM
1

So you believe women should make it easier for men to filter out who to cold approach? In doing so, women need to expend money, time, and attention to benefit the man who wants to approach women?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/26 12:16 AM
1

It means you can wear your damn ring instead of telling 3.5 billion men they have to meet women via anything else. Are you suggesting women need to wear a fake wedding band to make it easier for men to know to approach or not?
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/26 11:47 PM
1

That is because they are not looking for the same thing you are.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/26 11:35 PM
1

The money analogy is almost good but dudes will absolutely pay that last 600 they have if it gets the point across. Sounds like poor financial management, though. I agree with the poster. Rarely would I want to give up my boundaries or rules. They are about me. I don't want to dramatically change me to suit someone else.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/26 09:26 PM
2

Can you expand? Is quantity of people interested, high compatibility in terms of life plan and goals, arousal and sex drive similar to a man's?
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/26 08:29 PM
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Let's you know what you like and alleviates some of the anxiety that comes with dating. What part of dating anxiety is a prostitute alleviating? Knowing what gets him off, yes, highly likely outcome of engaging a prostitute. But a partner generally also wants to get off, so not as much help there unless he interviews the prostitute and asks for tips. It also won't help with anxiety regarding flirtation or holding a conversation or asking someone out.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/26 06:10 PM
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You did not understand what OP is trying to say. He is pointing out that when the average guy wanted to experience a "phase" where he'd just want to get laid he was called a pig who only wants to stick his D into women not to mind all the string free casual sex women had, because casual fucking just feels good to the body and everyone was doing it anyhow. Well, in just discussing one aspect of a man seeking a prostitute, that first quote is generally what is expected to happen: man gets off. Not…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/26 06:00 PM
1

We would have to define positive impact. For instance, I like to help people examine their chain of logic, yes, at times even going all the way back to the original definition or problem posed. I feel this is helpful in general, for anyone, but...is it a positive impact? That depends upon what the man in question wants. Examining his assumptions and beliefs could prove helpful, but if he doesn't want that or wanted something else out of the conversation, then no, the impact is not positive--inte…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/26 05:28 PM
3

Honesty is the best policy or at the very least the right thing to do. But in this scenario, he believes she cannot be honest, so he does the test. Why bring her into at all if he wants the paperwork to be the answerer?
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/26 10:38 PM
2

So? If only a test will convince the husband she did not cheat, why bring it up to her at all? Nothing she can say or do will convince him; only those words on the paperwork.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/26 10:36 PM
0

Most people don't not like to be accused of cheating when they didn't cheat, period.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/26 10:31 PM
8

You recognize them as human; after all, we don't see a person walking down the street as a chair or something. But humans have finite attention. You cannot pay attention to every human any more than every object in the room you are sitting in registers with the same priority. Heck, I believe Borges wrote a story about someone who could, and it wasn't miraculous, but horrific.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/26 06:33 PM
1

Apparently, men who have a women are a prize to be won mindset see punishment and reward, but this is a wrong headed perspective entirely. It does beg the question, if as another redditor posted in this thread sex is seen as a reward, then is rejection seen as a punishment? That feels like a problematic view of relationships to hold.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/26 04:30 PM
2

The issue with valuing sex as a reward is that it makes it harder to view sex as a mutually enjoyable activity for both partners.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/26 04:07 PM
4

Whereas for women, they do clearly want the sexual attention, they're just usually dissatisfied with the source. Could not a similar comparison be made for the man visiting and paying for strippers? He doesn't want to give them all money, just the ones that satisfy him the most.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/26 11:56 PM
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My point is women chastise and complain about men “just wanting sex” while getting fucked every Friday with a new man thruout their entire 20s. Anyway what do you all think. According to your math, it sounds like 520 men are also having fun.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/26 08:32 PM
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Who is doing the giving, and where are the resources coming from that are given?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/26 07:07 PM
2

That does not change the fact that the man did the act that contributed to conception. His choice can be considered bad too if he didn't want a child.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/26 10:45 PM
7

Those two introverts still have to socialize with each other, or how else does the relationship start?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/26 07:59 PM
5

I used to have pretty strong fear of talking to people in general until I internalized the fact most people talk to others all the time without bogging down in valuing the worth of what they have to say first. They just don't fear a great deal of negative outcome for either party when they share a sliver of their life with another. Of course, this works best when coupled with boundary respect. That is where reading the room comes into play.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/26 07:48 PM
2

Why is it only the woman's bad choice, and not the man's too? He contributed half the DNA.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/26 05:33 PM
1

Your title says society "has failed to provide an alternative." Do you think society has an obligation to provide people with a belief system?
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/26 10:26 PM
7

If history and language shape women's judgments, what sex-linked mechanism causes men to be immune to those same influences?
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/26 10:06 PM
5

Specially the more we see the sadistic and narcissistic nature of women (thanks to letting women graze freely) Does this mean you believe the right of women to "graze" belongs to men?
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/26 09:32 PM
2

Are you presuming that nothing in the interactions feeds into her allowing a possibility of negative intention from the man to enter her mind?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/26 06:44 PM
1

I would be more interested in an answer to a slightly different question: is the default baseline desire to be aggressive and it is held in check by constraints that can be cognitively costly to maintain, or is the default state the opposite?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/26 06:16 PM
1

Well the argument from trp, is that women are supposed to be the followers, be friendly, agreeable, light and ready to welcome the men home, meet his hard man attitude with a feminine nature. Friendly. Peaceful. Generally open not rejecting. Feminine nature. So ... the ideal mate is a park.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/26 08:42 PM
1

My great aunt was a dumb but lovable woman. Her husband was superman and did everything, I mean everything he didn't trust her with basic chores. They were together for 50 years and she worshipped him. Worshipping an optional upgrade?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/26 08:37 PM
2

My great aunt was a dumb but lovable woman. Her husband was superman and did everything, I mean everything he didn't trust her with basic chores. They were together for 50 years and she worshipped him. 1) Women need to be carefree in order to be in their feminine energy. So, being untrustworthy to do basic chores is feminine energy. Did the so-called men children get that memo?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/26 08:32 PM
2

She just works one job and then takes care of their kid. On the childcare, what workload is that compared to Roomba upkeep in your opinion?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/26 08:25 PM
1

Wearing perfume and fragrances, is manipulation Is washing manipulation because the default state of the body is to produce odors?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/26 08:11 PM
1

Your viewing it as a fail because like other women the commitment and longevity aspect is the thing you aren’t guaranteed. Or because the consequence of the lies was mostly borne by her.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/26 07:54 PM
1

Is being “good” costly because the default state is defined as "bad" or "neutral"? Is it costly because it requires restraint or effort beyond a neutral/bad baseline?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/26 06:41 PM
3

A bit like the "walkaway wife" thing. A guy will start out saying that he had no idea anything was wrong. But if he talks long enough, it comes out that he did know. He knew for yrs. He just didn't take any of it seriously. It would be interesting to know if it is only with a romantic relationship this happens, or in general he procrastinates until the pain of loss is greater than the pain of change.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/26 11:21 PM
3

a religious artifact written by men This calls to mind a similar dialog from 1818, and it made an interesting further point: "We each begin, probably, with a little bias towards our own sex; and upon that bias build every circumstance in favour of it which has occurred within our own circle." Feels relevant here, to OP's conversation.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/26 09:40 PM
1

The computer part especially would be a stronger match for me. The rest, cool.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/26 07:48 PM
2

but most people also prefer committed relationships, and casual sex is bad for that. If most people want commitment, where are all these people refusing commitment coming from?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/26 07:07 PM
3

Does that mean, the majority of these disappointed women are not asking for commitment but expecting it, asking but ignoring his no, or are asking but being lied to?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/26 06:58 PM
1

Recently there was a post about men that watch porn and attack sex-workers. No proof that these are same men, but that's not important. It is menbad anyways. Men watching it are just bad, if they criticize it they are additionally hypocritical (here I agree). They seek to regulate video games, to ban any "sexy stuff" for men, but not for women - over-sexualized male characters are OK. Do not both categorizations rely upon a premise under criticism: “no proof that these are same.” If you want to …
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/26 05:47 PM
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Yes, some of it seems centered around another idea that if people are born with certain inalienable rights, then why does one gender have some removed instead of being allowed to keep them? Also, those impacts are also not felt in isolation alone.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/26 05:04 PM
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You have to say "but, um, we are on a continuum and someday, bc, um, well, someday the Great Pumpkin...." Dale Spender in Women of Ideas outlines feminist ideas starting with 17th century Aphra Behn. Early 20th century writer Virginia Woolf refers back to her as such, "All women together ought to let flowers fall upon the tomb of Aphra Behn, for it was she who earned them the right to speak their minds." And Woolf's works themselves were referenced by later feminists. Look through history to see…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/26 04:36 PM
3

Women in the other hand are not attracted to almost all men in the way men are attracted to almost all women. What does the quantity of people she is attracted to have to do with the ability to favor both stability and desire? Let alone the fact that unstable men have way more success in the dating world so we can argue that stability is less attractive. Are you making a case that because of instability, the man has sexual success? Or is there a different factor that coexists (not competes) with…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/26 03:06 PM
2

Men want to fuck anyone that is an adult human female that is alive. Why would the existence of this trait in men mean in women desire must compete with stability in what they seek from a relationship?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/26 02:45 PM
3

Are you asking if she desires stability and life easing more than her own sexual gratification with him? Is the either/or quality only for the woman in this scenario?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/26 02:40 PM
4

I dunno quantity, but I seem to recall on reddit the story of a guy who only disposed of his makeshift masturbatory tool (a coconut) when he realized it was full of maggots. I imagine there are those men who see her as just a better coconut.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/26 01:11 PM
3

At the end of her life, she probably won't say, "We bought a cake for Jane." But, "I remember how excited she was to turn six."
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/26 12:57 PM
2

So at the end of her life when she talks about all her past years, she will recount, because it is higher priority, “We ate food and bought things”?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/26 12:28 PM
-1

Does "taken care of" refer to material things, since it is paired with money in the sentence? If so, is that all a person needs to be happy in the relationship?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/26 12:04 PM
9

we settle with the ones that provide stability and generally make our lives easier. So a woman who provides stability and life easing is providing non-genuine desire if she seeks the same in her spouse?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/26 11:54 AM
3

No, but you see here and there some answers of wanting to watch porn but not wanting to date a porn star isn't shaming porn stars. That is where those posters' minds went first: through a dating lens. I am not stating it is wrong or right interpretation of OP, but that it exists and complicates discussion.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/26 02:03 AM
2

Often when people discuss this point in more depth here, it becomes clear there are different definitions of lust. One is at its base related to orgasm and related pleasure. Others tie in love, intimacy, validation, etc. and call it all "lust." Difficult for either side to discuss the issue when the definitions are not the same.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/26 10:31 PM
-1

Because the lens might be dating or relationship first for them. They view the point raised in OP that way.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/26 10:27 PM
1

Weird thought: is the cognitive dissonance in a porn user shaming porn stars similar to intermittent reinforcement, but self inflicted? I understand not always having all positive outcomes to same trigger (intermittent reinforcement) actually creates stronger compulsion to continue than just positive reinforcement alone. Maybe this cognitve dissonance is making addicted porn users more addicted.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/26 08:09 PM
5

Forget dating--are they shaming Starbucks workers for existing?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/26 07:59 PM
1

Who is in charge of monitoring the quantity and quality of friends of a kid in school? Who is in charge of monitoring the social behaviors in general of the individual students? By what standard are they measured? Does it take into consideration preferences for social activities and extroversion/introversion tendencies? Or willingness for said student to engage in said activities?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/26 04:34 AM
1

You do realize you are saying this as a response to someone posting a link to a site that includes this from a 12 year old girl: “I was wearing a black ruffled top from old navy with a square neckline, baggy jeans, and platform Uggs.”
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/26 04:10 AM
14

Do you think gender reveal reels represent a pregnant woman more than her regular check up with her OBGYN? We don't record everything. We don't share everything. Not everyone is recording and sharing in the first place.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/26 03:49 AM
5

If your self worth/and validation come from someone else. You're going to have a bad time. Yes, because the other person is not a wall outlet. They are not available to give that boost all the time.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/26 03:24 AM
5

Because men have had a thousands years old scholarly tradition of writing down their thoughts in an inter-generational dialogue, they have come to a better understanding of themselves, their own feminine side, and better understanding of femininity. What is the connection that you are drawing? That the act of writing allows a man to understand the femininity within him? How does the act of writing one's thoughts expose it? Or is the act of writing thoughts down somehow feminine? If so, and your …
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/26 03:11 AM
1

Where did this belief that you existing as a man means you automatically corrupt come from?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/26 08:23 PM
1

Why can't you feel ashamed about such choices without soliciting your parents' perspective on it?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/26 08:21 PM
1

We don’t pay for the sex - we pay for them to leave after . Not your therapist. Plus like professional service … it’s essentially being able to get this when and how we want from whom we want in an accessible standard format - Given you liken it to a professional service, it sounds less like paying for them to leave and more like paying...for a service. You don't pay for a plumber to leave or a stylist to quit styling. You pay for their time on a specified activity.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/26 07:29 PM
1

Everyday people completely abandon the corporate world for a frugal life. Is this the underlying concept for your hypothetical?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/26 06:20 PM
1

It’s incredibly disingenuous that I describe that housewives and SAHMs have a social circle of family, friends and other moms, and you went “Your kids can provide this for you.” Relying on children for meeting social needs is generally part of parentification, which is damaging to the child.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/26 06:14 PM
2

So your definition of proper socialization and maturity is to think of the society before the individual considers their personal needs/wants?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/26 03:54 PM
1

From your example, it sounds like you're focusing primarily on the linkage between emotion and bias. The "emotion" in my claim is more closely linked to motivation and valuation. We may be talking about different facets under the same label.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/26 02:11 AM
2

Given what Damasio discovered, the question at hand is whether an incision line can be drawn showing where decision-making can be separated from emotional valuation. Currently, the findings suggest the two do not have clear-cut boundary lines of "decision here, emotion there."
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/26 01:54 AM
4

Emotions are a biological process. I don't think training is a tool that can excise them any more than it can excise hunger, pain, or the need to breathe.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/26 01:34 AM
11

Emotions are so easily misunderstood. Antonio Damasio has conducted research that shows emotions are linked to decision making. In his research, those who had damaged areas in the brain related to emotions had difficulty even with simple decisions. You have a desire to hit a ball with a bat. You swing. The emotion helped you decide to swing. It won't take the swing for you. But you won't decide to swing without it. My point is, emotions are a filter through which so much of even our "logic" goes…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/26 11:05 PM
5

Yes, beyond the obvious, some of it might be a feeling like "you see me as object for your pleasure. You are making that very obvious with your very blunt and crude manners and speech. I do not care to think of myself that way." Basically he is wanting her to shift in identity from "me" to '"something for you." Who wouldn't feel strong resistance to that? Of course, it isn't put in so many words when the interaction happens, but it is part of what underlies "I don't want to be objectified."
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/26 10:36 PM
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Cutting the bs to be honest. Instead of saying your “just” doing this or that why not admit the hidden layers behind actions? You have the above stated belief in a subthread. The comment I am currently replying to was not stated as part of your original post, but is underpinning it. If you did not state this in the original, why do you suppose someone else will do any better at stating all their underpinning beliefs and reasons?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/26 05:36 PM
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An example that I’ve personally seen in many different ways is when a classmate of mine said she’d never date anyone from the school we were at and ended up dating a guy at our school. Weak example but it’s very telling that if she really had strong intent not to do that she wouldn’t have fallen in love and ended up in terrible drama with that guy. Did you ever ask her why she held the original belief. Because that was the determiner on if she dated in school or out, not the letters on the side …
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/26 05:17 PM
3

Yes, having the golden ratio in the face says nothing about how prone to cancer she is.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/26 05:06 PM
1

To the specific men who primarily think in terms of immediate and personal, those things you listed are noise, not considerations. Noise is discomfort. Hence the attraction to philosophies that promise to eliminate the noise and still produce close to guaranteed results.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/26 04:54 PM
1

I think in redpill, a major driving force seems to be payoff. The more immediate and the more guaranteed, the better. Or in other words, a more transactional mindset. If you see the world as a tally sheet, failure, delays, unexpected outcomes, enjoying the trip as much as the destination, etc. are costs. They are very sensitive to unbudgeted costs. The irony is, they have a belief that covert contracts are bad? The entire philosophy is a covert contract.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/26 04:30 PM
1

Those who have narrow definitions of rape also likely prefer strong causality. If the simple causality doesn't exist, they will create it. Too many conditions or paradoxes or competing details get filtered out as irrelevant noise. This may likely tie into a general lens through which they see the world. For example, take a person who generally thinks in terms of the immediate in relation to sex. If they don't generally think upstream, downstream, and broadly on such topics, to them, fewer costs …
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/26 03:56 PM
1

The post I quoted from seems to indicate men get the ick when women act masculine. If I didn't misunderstand, then I am asking what defines masculine to you? What traits, activities/behaviors, appearances, mannerisms, etc are these women adopting that seem masculine?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/26 03:08 PM
2

I would imagine several factors go into it. Women who tend to orgasm from casual, will select for men likely to give her that experience. She will use her experience to help her filter possibilities. On the partner side, I believe those who believe the experience is for both of them are more likely to give a woman an orgasm. I suspect this is strongly linked to liking women in general--not just for what they do for him, in the bedroom or out. But just as people whose company he enjoys.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/26 11:07 PM
–

Casual sex for him ≠ more pleasure for her. It might, but also might not.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/26 10:51 PM
1

However, some people like to lean more on the cautious side because why not? Depends upon the consequences and who bears their cost.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/26 10:41 PM
1

So would you say your mode is more situation based?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/26 08:28 PM
1

How much do you plan ahead on things? Do you, for instance, buy trash bags after you pull out the last, or do you see it is getting low and add it to your next grocery store run?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/26 05:32 PM
2

By your own description the primary purpose of asking the question is to see if the other person makes a mistake. Most people don't see things like personality and mindsets as a "mistake." It is part of who you are. And that is the goal of dating: to see if who that person is, is compatible with you.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/26 04:21 PM
1

Everything in the world is about sex except sex. Also, songs by male artists. Those are apparently about fire safety, fruit consumption, equestrian transportation, and proper engine maintenance.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/26 03:22 PM
–

I have always believed that in high level politics, the axiom of "follow the money" usually leads you to where their priorities lie. There are many who get into politics to change the world according to what they feel is best. But their voices are drowned out by the above.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/26 02:24 PM
–

Thank you for the award, kind redditor.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/26 02:19 PM
–

If you want women to think of society when getting in relationships, or want a societal solution to an individual's lack of relationships, you invite society in in ways that are not just to your perceived benefit.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/26 02:16 PM
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Nothing is more dangerous than a large group of men with nothing to live for and a ton of testosterone to burn. If it doesn't drive them now to act to their benefit, I doubt they will find the collective desire to organize and put effort into destruction. Because even if they were so inclined, they simply don't care to. It's like being angry at a guy for being horny. It's just how they are. I suspect it is less being angry at the existence of horniness and more the making that horniness some one…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/26 02:04 PM
–

Since this comment is so downstream of the rest, I can't tell exactly what it is referring to. If it is loneliness in terms of sexual and romantic relationships, there is no miracle fix because there is no one cause of it.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/26 01:37 PM
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Men want something (sex and relationships) women want something (to have their rights protected from those that want to infringe upon them). Trade happens. No side is entitled to what they want. How romantic. Come to the table and negotiate for your basic human rights, by giving up some of your basic human rights. Have you tried it on an individual level? Offered it as an opening line to a potential date: I want to negotiate sex with you. In exchange I won't interfere with your right to hold pro…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/26 01:28 PM
–

Men’s bananas logic seems to be “I want access to females therefore I am entitled to females therefore females who don’t comply are threateninggggggg me and therefore I have the right to take what I want.” Sadly for those who live life with the idea of "boundaries for me, not for thee" do hold that belief. They see others' boundaries as barriers to their "rightful use" of that person. It feels like a threat to their survival because they see the other person as a malfunctioning extension of them…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/26 01:22 PM
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You do realize most people don't give a damn how much sex their neighbor has. That generally also works in their favor as they don't go up to Billy and say, "I think you had enough dates this month. Time to do something else." We don't need societal involvement in the bedroom.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/26 12:03 PM
–

People feel they have a stake when they get involved in their community. That sticks when people who are so inclined do that according to their interests, skills, aptitudes. It has little to do with being attractive. Lonely people who are not involved in their communities may find being involved fills a specific hole in them. Or maybe at that time they just need to pour their energy into themselves until they feel they have something to give, if they are so inclined.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/26 11:40 AM
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Encouraging some contribution to society is a good idea. I just prefer everyone to do it according to their strengths and aptitudes. Such as if I were more artistically inclined, focusing on encouraging more programs of that for children or chipping in to fund a beautification project in my community. This is generally how volunteerism works best. I understand the point of your comment may be more relationship oriented, but I feel that is best handled indirectly by people investing as stated abo…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/26 11:25 AM
1

Women are severely underestimating how huge and how permanent of a turn off being masculine really is. Can you define it in relation to this sentence?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/26 11:16 AM
2

Lol. Good!
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/26 06:15 PM
1

Define masculinity?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/26 05:52 PM
1

It doesn't sound like she wants sex to be provided by her and all about him.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/26 05:37 PM
1

Well her argument makes sense for either gender. If you are going to be my one, why would I want to be your one in sixty?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/26 05:36 PM
–

Seems like a far less costly way to avoid marriage would be to just...avoid marriage. Taking the path of crime doesn't seem to provide much benefit there.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/26 05:12 PM
2

Sorry, in case something was lost in translation. My reply was meant to be taken in fun. It was a play on the paradox of "everything I say is a lie."
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/26 04:30 PM
2

But you say this as a woman. Does that mean I shouldn't listen to your advice as a woman saying not to listen to women?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/26 03:45 PM
1

Yes being yourself while still engaging in the romantic side of the relationship is attractive. You find the person who is your match that way.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/26 03:25 PM
16

I don't like housework either. Find the friction points and find a way to reduce them.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/26 02:38 PM
1

Why would that be so? And how does that relate to my comment?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/26 02:35 PM
2

Again, go visit those subs on surviving infidelity. They are rife with examples, post after post. "Loving to cheat" is not an inherent trait of either gender. Most people do not cheat, nor do most people like being cheated upon.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/26 02:05 PM
89

How easy is it for said man to relax when a baby needs food or changing or attention? Or what about when the thing he wants--food, for example--needs to be cooked or dishes cleaned in order to eat it? Is he only able to relax because someone else is making it possible by removing tasks to be done? In order to relax in one's home, one first has to put in effort to make the house ready for that and time available for that. A baby doesn't feed himself; a meal doesn't cook itself; a house does not c…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/26 01:49 PM
2

You need to take a look at some of those subs that help the cheated on spouse. No one is cheering on a woman who cheats. I also am unsure why you replied that to my post.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/26 01:40 PM
3

Yes, so it seems: no consequences allowed for his actions unless they benefit the cheater. Or in fact, the partner cheated on actively absorbing everything so as to prevent the cheater from feeling anything negative from his actions. Where in life has that ever generally been possible?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/26 01:36 PM
0

Most women don't like to get cheated on. If the couple wants to be polygamous, they can negotiate how the relationship will work under different circumstances, such as regarding children.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/26 01:27 PM
5

Why cheat? Why not simply set terms of non-monogamy in the first place for both spouses?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/26 11:38 AM
1

From what I understand of the trad life days was that it was reliant on the rest of the world not being as big a force in world economy because they were more dramatically affected by the world war. That trad life depends upon specific world conditions.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/26 02:38 AM
2

I can understand how it would be stupid to act to benefit others when the result of it would make you incapable of helping others in the future. The issue is neither women nor men generally think in this way. Viewing the giver this way, as the main reason why the giver needs not to overly tax themselves is because it compromises their giving ability, is seeing the giver not as a human but a resource.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/26 01:38 AM
5

I imagine even the men having trouble with this concept would have second thoughts if the woman chosen to give up her autonomy in this way was his wife.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/26 12:35 AM
9

One can care about others, but setting oneself on fire to keep someone else warm has nothing to do with morals, but a lack of healthy boundaries. Morality does allow one to have healthy boundaries. Boundaries are not immoral.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/26 12:32 AM
1

You forgot to list the fact you are also bringing to the table some form of envy over abusive men. As well as a lack of understanding of what abuse actually is.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/26 10:50 PM
1

I say this as a woman who has experienced abuse in life, have you ever fully processed the impact your assault had on you?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/26 03:01 PM
1

I would still think a therapist can help. I believe in getting at the root of a belief, and realizing it may be a braid of experiences and mindsets creating it, thus a multifactor approach is called for to address it.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/26 02:52 PM
1

Do you believe someone who physically abuses only commits physical abuse? In general, they also emotionally and verbally abuse too. They are all tools to that abuser to get what they want.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/26 02:58 AM
3

I disagree with your entire reply to me, and feel if it was said to a victim of abuse, it would be damaging to their ability to heal and escape.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/26 02:51 AM
2

I suggest you read literature on the topic.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/26 02:40 AM
1

Abusers test boundaries until they find someone who has weak ones. But they don't announce they will abuse. They don't start out at 100% abusive behavior. They do more like the frog in the boiling pot. Abusers don't have to be geniuses to succeed. It's just linked to survival in their minds. So in that case, everything is about it, and that teaches them pretty quickly what works and what doesn't.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/26 02:37 AM
2

Those who see abused people as costing themselves something should avoid abused people. It profits neither to be around each other.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/26 02:34 AM
1

Because many of the victims of abuse in adult relationships were victims of abuse in childhood. If you were taught, among other things, that having boundaries was bad as a child, you won't easily learn to have them as an adult. It's not exciting. It feels like normal to them, and healthy feels scary and wrong and goes against like 20 years of narrative developed during one's most vulnerable years. Healthy doesn't fit into all the survival mechanisms they developed, and person abused from childho…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/26 02:28 AM
1

No. It's actually one of the defining traits of abuse. They generally aren't universally controlling, violent, threatening etc. to everyone, only the ones they are targeting. One main benefit is it makes the victim harder to believe.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/26 02:19 AM
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I think the scarcity runs deeper than sex, and has for a long time. So when they think about relationships, they decide it will be their time finally to get what they want. Since it is often seen in black and white terms, that means the woman in the relationship won't get what she wants because if she does that means he loses out on something.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/26 03:44 PM
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Because the man in his example wants to spend his spare time focusing on himself, and he wants the wife's spare time focusing on him, too. Doesn't seem like many opportunities to avoid a dead bedroom or other marital problems that way.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/26 03:35 PM
2

The question isn’t why women post bikini photos. The question is why some men think seeing one entitles them to comment. Or that the burden falls on the woman to help manage said men's behaviors.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/26 02:20 AM
3

And you would kill them for funsies? OP also wrote that.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/26 02:53 AM
2

And these judgments formed about that rejected party, they probably last all of five minutes in an outsider's mind. Who has time to go around keeping tabs on whether someone they know got rejected or not? That stuff gets shoved in the mental recycling bin to make room for things important to that person and their own life.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/26 07:55 PM
1

Two men can behave almost identically and still experience completely different romantic success because human attraction is not a fair or objective system. Society often assumes women’s romantic choices are inherently wise, fair, moral, and deeply meaningful. It simply means dating outcomes are not a perfect meritocracy, and pretending they are only creates dishonest conversations about men, relationships, and human attraction. Is the issue here you think matters of sexual or romantic selection…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/26 07:48 PM
3

You do not have to want someone romantically to be respectful. You do not have to be sexually interested in someone to be considerate. You do not have to expect a relationship to be a decent person. This is probably more of a mindset coming from those with a predominantly transactional view of the world, people, and relationships. . Because in many cases, they were not raised to admire women as full human beings. They were raised experiencing women, especially mothers, as sources of comfort, for…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/26 05:39 PM
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Based Aristotle. If you can't orgasm through the act of sex we evolved to perform, you're broken as far as I'm concerned. And then on top of that, when the primary sex act is done, they expect him to further put all the work in just for her super specific way to get off? No. And yet she evolved that way–to have pleasure in a non-male way–as part of her having sex. Why is it her evolution you have a problem with?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/26 02:21 PM
1

I am not sure I am understanding your point. What is it that you are proposing should be done?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/26 02:09 PM
–

Can you explain your question?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/26 08:18 PM
1

My point is less about limits, but how culture, for lack of a better more comprehensive word, shapes the outlets. I believe it shapes us at a level in a similar way to how the spread of the clock and watches made people think more in minutes and seconds, seeping even into our everyday speech, as compared to how people accounted for time before they were common place. In other words, culture can exist at the level of shaping our possibilities without us realizing how much it is filtering out.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/26 08:17 PM
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USA apparently has a disproportionate amount of millionaires compared to the rest of the world. Something like 1 in every 5 or 6 American households are millionaire households. I suspect social circles that include them, even as a friend's SO, have standards that are utterly foreign to the rest of us individuals, who fall within the 47% of US pop who make under $50,000 a year.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/26 06:53 PM
1

I don't think men's inherent nature is to cause harm if unpartnered, if that is what you are implying. Instead how their frustration is expressed is shaped by broader culture. In a time when women were more like property, that likely led to more enslavement, "theft," and rape. Because enslavement, killing, etc. was already more acceptable in that time and culture, period. It is far, far less acceptable nowadays.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/26 06:27 PM
1

The issue is her standards are part of her. So if he wants her to lower them, he is not lusting and obsessing over her, but that version of her they want her to be for him. Don't redpillers call that putting her on a pedestal? To me all their talk of avoiding the pedestal seems contradicted in a way by the talk on woman's true nature, and their techniques to control it with frame, dread, etc. Shaping her means she is not herself, and what he cares for is back to a version of her. In other words …
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/26 06:11 PM
7

Listen to how many men here harp on about how women should just lower their standards so men who don't meet them can have a chance too or be considered. Men who don't have such problems and have positive interactions with women. Are not out here trying to master strategize ways to get laid and talking about "frame". And repeat the same tired talking points of "80/20. Women hit the wall. Women will have all their fun and settle for a safe guy." I agree and would like to add when such talks form, …
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/26 06:01 PM
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In USA, at least another main thing for the spouse to avoid is being a SAHP when not married. Because of social security benefits, or rather lack thereof.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/26 02:05 PM
11

It's not our fault that women are biologically flawed. How Aristotelian of you. Women are not flawed because they don't get off in the exact same way as men do. Men's genitalia and sexuality are not the default and ideal for both genders. As for the rest, women don't want to selflessly volunteer their bodies for men to orgasm in. No more than a man wants to not achieve orgasm in sex. so it's only fair that men should finally repay this selfishness at some point. It's only selfish to the one who …
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/26 01:37 PM
14

For women, sex is basically masturbation with extra steps. Isn’t that more the point that OP of this entire post is making--for men? Meanwhile, men are focused entirely on their desire specifically for the woman. In casual encounters, I imagine it is the opposite. The man is concerned about his own orgasm. Not saying that is all he cares about, but it is not a selfless act he is performing in having casual sex. You also mentioned women are focused on their own arousal. Well, yes. In casual, the …
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/26 01:22 PM
37

I agree. The sexual drive in men has at its most basic level little cost and plenty of reward. For many women long before their sexual drive comes online, they are introduced to a monthly reminder of costs. That's only talking of sex drives, not even considering other drives like love, companionship, etc. The genders have very different experiences around their drives, starting from before they were even sexually active. Of course that shapes behavior and mindset in different ways.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/26 01:03 PM
3

Are you talking aesthetical attraction, or attraction involving the desire to be with the person? If the latter, no on all accounts for me.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/26 03:37 AM
5

Could it ever be 50% even if you only take into consideration compatible age range and availability (singleness vs not single)? That's not even considering compatibility preferences in other ways.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/26 03:04 AM
-2

Hers is about personal safety. What is his comfort about? Making it easier for him to ask her out?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/26 05:36 PM
3

One word to whom? Is she after a five minute conversation with a stranger going to the cops after?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/26 05:33 PM
2

Most people do not respond well to "give me what I want or else I am going to do this 'bad' thing and you are responsible for it." It's basically, "Look what you made me do," in another form. No, people who set that up are playing a game of "tails I win, heads you lose." Makes sense to opt out of engaging then.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/26 04:18 AM
4

Men will do what they want. If they want to "go to the redpill," they will.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/26 03:55 AM
2

Men want help getting women. Women are not too keen on doing that. If women did help a man get another woman, what then? Would he then also need help to able to maintain a LTR, or help to get the next woman if a ONS?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/26 03:35 AM
1

Regarding pre-selection.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/26 11:58 AM
1

"Good" in this case wouldn't be he has a lot of ons. It's being a good lover; that is what I imagine most women want out of a ons. Good sex for her. Also, this doesn't necessarily translate to being "good" at relationships for those women who want LTR, because having mostly ons does not automatically translate to being good at relationships (things that last more than one day).
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/26 11:55 AM
1

The thing is, though, being known to have a lot of ons doesn't automatically translate to being highly desirable, especially as women know that doesn't necessarily translate to their pleasure being prioritized. There have been men in this sub and others who have stated that is reserved for a girlfriend. Women aren't ignorant of the orgasm gap.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/26 11:46 AM
1

To me, it reads like it is something deeper than sex, also. You mention attention, but I wonder if it is more linked with power. Not in a nefarious way, just "if I hsve this, I could do anything" way, not unlike how people stuck in a job they hate imagine if they suddenly had money, what they would do, and what they'd dare say to their boss. Maybe a lot of the "obsession" with casual sex can be linked to the pursuer feeling as if they have no power in their lives, often not even just in the area…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/26 11:33 AM
1

I’ve lived both ways (externally defined and internally grounded). One made me a lot happier. That’s enough for me. Take care.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/26 07:31 PM
1

Absolutely agree. Men you matter on your own, as people. You are born with worth. This is my opinion. I'm not trying to start an argument with anyone. I just wanted you to hear it from someone. That is what was posted upthread. It is about inherent worth. If that does not compute for you, ask yourself why your feel you worth is strictly determined by people other than you.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/26 07:05 PM
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Could this not also be extrapolated to another example: he promised exclusivity, but lied to get sex? Yes, she is getting sex in that case, but she wouldn't want to go for it if she knew he was having sex with others. Basically, she agreed under specific conditions.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/26 11:25 PM
1

Yes. Because you can either feel like you don't matter or don't have worth to yourself, or you can believe the opposite. You can feel the difference between the two beliefs and their effects.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/26 10:54 PM
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I just love me some zombies. Makes me wish I kept up that style of video game.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/26 10:29 PM
–

Have you tried an instant pot?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/26 10:25 PM
–

If you are strangers, who met in passing for a couple minutes, how likely is this?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/26 10:05 PM
1

Owning a small business is low ambition???
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/26 09:33 PM
1

Because you gotta live with yourself 24/7. Would you prefer to do that always self criticizing and condemning yourself, or would you rather enjoy being you? I have lived on both sides. The latter gives you a clear mind, energy, and joi de vivre. The other is like a virus on a computer sapping your resources.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/26 08:56 PM
3

Would blunt but polite, "no thanks," work, or are you requesting that she add details onto why she said no?
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/26 11:19 PM
0

I would like to see more programs for this.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/26 10:39 PM
3

Everybody has insecurities, that doesn't mean it automatically becomes a problem with your partner. I agree on this. I wonder if one of the main differences between those who make it their partner's problem or not, is their ability to self-soothe, for lack of a better word. Like feel the emotion, but can pause, reflect, and realize their fear is unlikely to be true.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/26 10:35 PM
2

No, they are not "fine" with it.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/26 05:00 PM
1

Definitely.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/26 04:56 PM
1

Go to any forum, shelter, or organization that helps abuse victims and tell them the one being helped is "thirsting" after their abuser. See how they take it.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/26 02:05 PM
2

For a moment, I was trying to figure out what the new slang or trend was, and what it had to do with chickens, and why fowl were more important than girlfriends. Then I realized you meant "roster" and realized I have been online too much lately. SMH.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/26 01:26 PM
0

The key might also be caring to learn it and do it (whatever the method) in the first place.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/26 10:15 PM
15

To add to your point, ask a parentified child, who is now an adult, what is involved with being a parent. They are uniquely positioned to see what lack of proper parenting does to a child plus the level of work involved. Those adults tend to prefer to be child free because of their experiences. So yeah, I would presume most men who want to do it alone (versus circumstances forcing them) have a deficient view of what is healthy parenting.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/26 10:01 PM
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I would like to delve more into this: "Casual sex is the ultimate proof that she finds you attractive and doesn’t ask much from you. You don’t have to put in much effort compared to a relationship; you are free of responsibilities but can still have sex." I would like to ask if this desire is coupled with her putting in relationship responsibilities and activities, as well as feeling strong affection beyond the sexual...or is also, no responsibilities or such sentiments required from her end eit…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/26 08:13 PM
2

Yeah, such projection is annoying, as is shifting standards to judge one by. Thing is, people like that, if they aren't mad and projecting over this issue, then they will do it over another. The goal is to project on something. Squirrel wants to find that nut. (LOL pun not intended).
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/26 08:02 PM
2

I like to think of underlying processes and drivers. I heard men have lower disgust threshold than women. I wonder if that combined with other factors (like higher risk taking and lower inherent biological costs to their sex drive) causes some of this. In the end, the answer may simply be the consequences are not costly enough to front load more of the vetting. When it does become more costly, behavior changes.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/26 07:49 PM
1

I have enjoyed debating with you. It led me to thinking about things from others point of views. That being said, this is likely my last reply on this topic. On your points, I like the idea of "enough" and people doing work for its own sake, because of a deeper satisfaction it gives them. I think the challenge is it’s not just one driver, like the stock market for example. It’s a multifaceted. Multiple incentives from multiple fields and forces. Like a rope is built of multiple strands. That mea…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/26 06:33 PM
3

That is an excellent example. We see same with AI as we do with automation. It was promised to not go after creative fields, but it seems it strongly is focused (but not solely focused) that way. Then reason is probably complicated and multifaceted, but it does seem to be a recurring pattern. To achieve that tribal style of life (and not all tribes are the same, but I presume you mean hunter-gatherers?), though, there generally has to be more resources available than humans to consume them. Basi…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/26 05:43 PM
3

Well, generally the goal of saving energy in one area is to expend it in another that feels more beneficial. Are we using devices that have long term effects on our dopamine etc? Probably. But without the energy-saving technology and the money system it goes hand in glove with, we would have fewer opportunities to "expend energy on things that make us feel good." I mean think about this very conversation. How much harder to impossible it would be to have, without the internet. My point is, techn…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/26 05:13 PM
1

I would strongly suggest that neither gender is inherently "defective."
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/26 04:59 PM
2

Because fundamentally humans like to have low or few barriers and low expenditure of energy or resources to get things needed for survival or to fill wants. Unless we remove the finiteness limit on our energy, I do not see us turning back the clock to make it harder to get food, shelter, etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/26 04:42 PM
2

I am going to answer in terms of general consumer behavior. There are too many barriers to implementation for this to be likely. Surgery has high cost and long recovery to achieve the intended result. I do not believe in your time frame that these barriers will be reduced on elective surgeries. "Gear" (had to look up the word) seems regulated by other systems to reduce access, in comparison to what is available for , for example, aspirin purchase. This sounds like an interconnected system, so un…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/26 04:15 PM
2

Yeah acknowledgement at least at the end of the conversation is necessary. I agree with you that is frustrating. I run into it in my work situation a lot, and when it is something that does require an answer, I have to phrase it in ways to ensure I get one. It gets tiring after a while. Some other situations where I don't need a response but it would be nice, I have to mentally recatelogue as "null" (meaning neither yes nor no) in order to get my brain to stop monitoring for an answer. In other …
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/26 03:03 PM
0

To add to your point, how many men for that matter have "deep philosophical conversations"? Those conversations aren't run of the mill with men either.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/26 02:42 PM
1

On your claim, what evidence shows women stop psychologically maturing at 20? Also define "psychologically mature," and how is that measured?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/26 02:17 PM
1

I imagine the "spark" is similar to body language. "That person looked intimidating" (for example) can be derived from several micro factors that, like how we touch a hot stove and jerk back without thinking, so to do we process "intimidation" so quickly it, for most people, leaves little info stored in a way that facilitates dissection. "Spark" can be and likely is stored in that way, in the fast-thinking parts of our brain versus slow.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/26 11:54 AM
0

So your go-to response to someone reacting nonpositively to being complained at or blamed for things not their fault is to... remove their legislated rights, such as the right to abortion?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/26 11:43 AM
1

Well, if the original question is general, so too will be the answers. Set up a more specific scenario tailored to the person, and the answers will generally be bounded by the scenario and more specific. That's just how things work with most questions and answers.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/26 11:37 AM
2

I agree. I find it similar to how women tend to make a noticable noise (like "uh huh") or nod to indicate listening while men are more apt to be silent and still. Neither style is wrong.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/26 11:30 AM
6

That just because we don't want sex with these men, we deserve harm and or oppression. I try to understand the thought process underlying such beliefs, and only thing I can come up with here is they believe rejection is a punitive action and thus want to punish in return. It most likely comes from a deep underlying inability to see others as not existing just to fill their wants and needs.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/26 11:16 PM
5

The cheater is responsible for their own actions. I doubt most cheaters state on date one or ten they will be cheating so "take it or leave it."
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/26 08:44 PM
4

I was in toxic jobs. The toxicity hurt, though I didn't care strongly about the job itself. It was more at the time I feared losing this job and unemployment was scarier. I think this dynamic can happen in relationships too.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/26 08:39 PM
2

Or they only stay because the weight of justifications they create for his behavior. Basically, if the relationship isn't mostly transactional, they feel it is the most they deserve.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/26 08:36 PM
1

And personally I find cold approaches to quick and pressuring. Like I have to give an answer quickly in a situation I wasn't prepared for. Organically or on the apps there's more time and it happens on my terms so to speak. I think this is a big part of it, too. It's just an inherent part of a cold approach.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/26 08:27 PM
2

you have the privilege decide what counts as "appropriate" vs "inappropriate" approach because it already happens everywhere. What is wrong with the person being approached being able to decide for themselves if they like or dislike it? After all, the approach affects them.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/26 08:24 PM
1

Similar to my cold call mention up thread. In general, I don't like them. But see a non-annoying ad for something I like? I am far more willing to look into it further. Men and women both like some measure of control in the dating process.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/26 08:19 PM
5

I think with cold approaches, too, it is fairly clear there is mostly only the physical factor determining the approach. Maybe environment can be a minor factor, but mostly physical. It's a bit like a cold call...a random number from a phone book or some list another business sold. People tend to not respond well to those calls either, so it is a numbers game. Most people don't like feeling like just a random number.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/26 11:40 PM
2

I didn't say that, but a lot of men are going to start feeling dissatisfied after a month or two and several dates in. It's a good way to torpedo an otherwise good relationship, so compatibility on pacing also matters. Torpedo? As in she ruined their chances for a good thing since didn’t have sex in the first month or two? I rather suspect it's not a secondary compatibility metric unrelated to all the rest, but part of the first bundle.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/26 11:22 PM
2

There are also men who prefer to move more slowly. A lot of my friends are like that. But they're introverted. That's an interesting thought. Do you think it maps strongly on both sides of the gender line, where faster/sooner is more correlated with extroversion?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/26 11:14 PM
3

I agree on the stay at home/provider dynamic not being my cuppa for myself. It sorta of turns the sahp into a satellite, especially if it is a religious family. A satellite is not as important as the body it is orbiting. I don’t want to reduce my importance as way of default being. Suspect it takes a lot of unacknowledged psychological toll to go from being a planet in your own life to being someone's moon. And that's only addressing the sahp side. The other side isn't all rainbows and butterfli…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/04/26 09:12 PM
3

I rarely wear rings as is, and would hate to have something so expensive on my hand. And I don’t think your proposed-to idea is goofy. Sounds romantic, to me. I think making the wedding fit your own tastes vs traditional sounds awesome, too.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/04/26 08:53 PM
2

Sounds cool. And understandable why it's not easy to recreate. Stylists have a lot of training and more conducive viewpoint of the head. It reminds me in a way how girls would get their hair done for the prom or graduation; little hope of them replicating that themselves at home.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/04/26 08:48 PM
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Question: is it a higher drive for getting off with another person, or to be desired by another partner while getting off, or for mutual desire and getting off? Which is the higher or more persistent drive?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/04/26 06:49 PM
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Yes. I would argue what needs to be taught to boys and girls is healthy boundaries. Too often the very people responsible for teaching that (parents) are the ones violating their children's, carrying on generational abuse. Help children find a way out, and hopefully as adults they have fewer problems with believing in their own worth.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/04/26 06:41 PM
3

Now I am curious. What did the French salon do exactly?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/04/26 05:52 PM
2

Certain aspects of PUA (example, negging) are designed to put people off balance. Make and clothing aren't really designed to do that.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/04/26 05:42 PM
4

Or makeup wearing isn't an either/or situation. Some is for men, some is for self expression, some is for both simultaneously. Some is even for cultural expectations at work.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/04/26 05:34 PM
3

People tend to work within the cultural parameters of the time. There were periods of time where powdered wigs and the like made people look older, and that was considered attractive. Many things, not just one, affect what expression or fashion is considered attractive.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/04/26 05:28 PM
5

Women are also strongly visual, otherwise using makeup and clothes to emphasize or de-emphasize features wouldn't be a thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/04/26 05:10 PM
1

Most people cheat because they want to cheat. They have a mindset of looking out for opportunities to fulfill that drive. In other words, the drive exists before the temptation or opportunity presents itself.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/04/26 03:28 AM
1

Speaking on the eggshells, I think that is key to this, and those eggshells are how rejection is interpreted. Rejection is normal, not a sign someone broke a rule. Dating has never been "do X, get Y" even when etiquette was more defined. The whole horizon will be full of eggshells if rejection is interpreted fundamentally as "you did something wrong, now be punished."
/r/PurplePillDebate17/04/26 03:23 AM
2

Are you presuming men who play or offer situationships only do so those below their league? Never those in their league?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/04/26 02:54 AM
2

Optimizing instead of satisficing?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/26 10:09 PM
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Nor is it the guy who has turned "Chad" into a boogieman.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/26 09:54 PM
1

Your question seems to be why don't people treat adult strangers the same as they treat their non-adult children. You have settled on an answer of neoteny, and assigned it a negative value ("lookism"), while dismissing a lot of other factors such as adults in general are treated differently than children because in no small part they have different needs, and also that people treat family differently than strangers. Is the true heart of your debate about these factors and the morality of their e…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/26 06:19 AM
0

I imagine it happens less as toward a group, than as toward a specific incident. Like in response to someone catcalling her, or a stranger walking close to her but not passing her at night, or a request to go back to his place when she thought they were going out early on in the getting to know you phase, or someone not accepting a rejection by escalating the request, etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/26 12:12 AM
2

How does that negate her point? Men being victims of violence by women doesn't negate women being victims of violence by men.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/26 11:52 PM
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To add to this, "44% of Reddit users fall into the 18-29 age group." According to a quick Google search, only about 18-23% of the world population is that age range. 14 to 15% for USA. "49.59% of the platform’s daily active users are in the US—India, the UK, Canada, Brazil and Germany also have large user bases." USA makes up less than 5% of the world population. "As of the third quarter of 2024, 59.8% of users identified as male and 39.1% as female." World population of men is about 50%. About …
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/26 12:17 AM
2

They can beget children. Doesn't mean they can be the same quality of a parent at 80 as they are at 30.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/26 11:35 PM
2

Also there is this theory that women are somewhat primed to be concubines through evolutionary pressures. Which would explain why a larger % of them are open to same sex relationships. But that hasn't been proven. Just specuation. That's an odd connection to draw. Historically, concubines were women who didn't marry the man, but her children could still be considered legitimate heirs and she also received support and certain rights. What does that have to do with same sex relationships?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/26 09:15 PM
9

. I remember going outside at 7 years old and doing who knows what and the parents didn't even have a way to contact me. The only rule was to go back when the streetlamps turn on. My parents related similar stories. I didn't have as much freedom as them, but I was definitely allowed to play alone outside for long blocks of time.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/04/26 02:34 PM
5

I imagine men being single parents as outlined in the OP would also reduce the amount of men applying for such jobs, given the fact that father is solely responsible for his children.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/04/26 05:30 AM
44

Children also worked on the farm or in factories. How children are treated now is very different. Not to mention how much fewer birth control knowledge and products were available in 1800s. 7+ children were a product of the times for multiple reasons.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/04/26 04:30 AM
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