EyesOpened50 Archive

Upvotes	Title	Category	Author	Subreddit	Date (UTC)
5	Always make sure you check what your spouse has saved / pensions etc		EyesOpened50	/r/Divorce_Men	08/07/24 05:57 PM

Upvotes	Comment on	Subreddit	Date (UTC)
2	I just need to vent Her reaction to you loosing your job says it all,I'm afraid plus the delaying tactics! Time to rip off the bandaid!	/r/Divorce_Men	16/10/25 03:21 PM
9	She wants me, she wants me not, she wants me and everything else. She's shown you who she really is, now the hard part - you've got to believe her!! Be very careful going forward, like recording your interactions together as false accusations really hurt! Be very aware of what's going on and be careful with your new partner!	/r/Divorce_Men	20/05/25 06:28 PM
3	Hurt, lonely, and scared. Looking for community Been there and got the T shirt and now getting a divorce! The resentment becomes too much and the only healthy thing to do is move on and it's not easy as you're still chasing her but she's showing you by actions that she's not interested! Both have made mistakes, own yours and it's not worth bringing anything up now! Bankruptcy is going to happen by the sounds of things, so make some appropriate plans in the meantime! Sorry man, it hurts but you'll get there in the end!	/r/Divorce_Men	20/05/25 11:12 AM
4	Money and Narc Wife Your money is 'our' money and her money is her own! Unfortunately not unusual and you're about to split everything 50/50 if you're lucky as you have kids (depending on their age etc) plus potential child maintenance and alimony? People wonder why people don't get married anymore, especially men but also the main earner / higher earner as they always get screwed! Been there and got the T shirt plus sounds like you need to take notice of what your wife is saying and doing - she's letting you see h…	/r/Divorce_Men	17/05/25 08:54 PM
7	Mediation is over… You're entitled to more, so she'll have to pay!! Maybe she doesn't realise what a great deal you've offered? It's going to be hassle but it'll be worth it!	/r/Divorce_Men	15/05/25 07:55 PM
2	Am I f'ed with lawyer 'Like my ex got into a tiff with our marriage counselor and accused her of contributing to her poor mental health just for holding her accountable.' She's just showing you who she really is, best to take it for what it is as she will step it up to gain and maintain control! You've seen it already, you're the bad guy, so you may as well be but be careful and shrewd about it!!	/r/Divorce_Men	11/05/25 02:36 PM
2	Advice Is the child both of yours / hers only or hers and her other partners? Before you blow anything up, you need to definitely know - DNA test is mandatory in a situation like this! Easy to do with online kits these days, so nobody would know and you can do whatever you need to do with that knowledge! With regard to the other relationship which she ran in tandem whilst you were both exclusive and you'd spoken about this or stated you were both in a committed relationship with each other? My experien…	/r/Divorce_Men	11/05/25 02:31 PM
1	Wife Wants Divorce, Affair? Just the ones that are left - up to 4 months! Just general comments nothing of issue! Keep your history clean and nothing too specific! DM if you want any direct advice! Cheers	/r/Divorce_Men	02/05/25 09:25 AM
1	Wife Wants Divorce, Affair? There's a lot of truth in that BUT a lot of these women just don't want to do it with their husbands! When they talk about it between themselves they: 1. berate their husbands about it 2. basically boast about controlling the sex 3. Rather read a book 4. Not happy when the husband initiates 5. congratulate each other on their schemes!! You wonder why marriage is f*cked!! You know the states for second and third marriages - so don't even consider it! Your wife is getting attention elsewhere and k…	/r/Divorce_Men	02/05/25 09:05 AM
1	Back at in dark place Remember - she's shown you who she really is and based on your post, not a good mother! She's playing the game and the system but you should have proof to counter her fraudulent claim plus your youngest (and other kids?) should be able to show the lies! Make sure you go fully into this, it's fraud after all plus more importantly it affects you and your kids - I'd be demanding more time, as she's now opened up the dialogue!! You've only a couple of years left, so make the most of it!! These last …	/r/Divorce_Men	01/05/25 08:17 AM
3	Hanging on for what? THIS Above!! 'Hopium' is a powerful drug which can keep you stuck!! As above, make an action list for - Her, You, Both, looking at 'wants and needs'. Make yourself the best version, it's all about you now - health, wealth, best dad! The 'stay plan is the same as the go plan', putting things into action will help to clear your mind! Also read 'No More Mr Nice Guy' - free pdf on the net, read, reread and digest!	/r/Divorce_Men	01/05/25 07:55 AM
2	What do you think of my wife? Am I over reacting Time to make a plan to leave - know the rules of the game before you action anything! This not a way to live but you could soften the blow if you take your time and get out wisely! No More Mr Nice Guy - you can get a free pdf off the net! Read it, reread it and action it!!	/r/Divorce_Men	01/05/25 07:50 AM
8	Resentment Process, Walkaway Wife This very common, unfortunately!! The 'Witch's Coven' stirring the cauldron certainly doesn't help but justify their mindset, no accountability and unaware of the implications! Death by a thousand cuts and inevitable split - best to be aware of these things and plan accordingly for the worst and only hope for the best! Got to be careful though as 'hopium' is a very powerful drug and the whole situation can take you to dark places! Knowledge is power but we need wisdom to know how to use it! The …	/r/Divorce_Men	23/04/25 12:21 PM
1	Marriage is Lonely You can download a free pdf version off the net!!	/r/Divorce_Men	23/04/25 12:06 PM
2	Filed and served Yes!! 24 hours a day in a case like this - she's already told you she knows the score! You can get USB memory stick style ones off Amazon - buy two and keep them charged and on you at all times!! The two party state goes out of the window when you're facing a DV charge!! Alternatively, camera's with sound up in the house for security - even better go both for protection! Probably best to just let her know / tell her they are there for the family security which covers everything!! Be careful and …	/r/Divorce_Men	14/04/25 12:36 PM
10	I think I'm finally 'getting over the hump'. Ambivalence / indifference - taking your power back!!	/r/Divorce_Men	05/04/25 08:51 AM
7	An update for the community, two years after my separation. With a big "Thank You" Great update, keep it going! I personally think the biking really helps, got to get out there!!	/r/Divorce_Men	09/02/25 07:37 PM
2	Found out my wife is a garbage human. Remember this, I was told exactly the same and didn't get it initially - She's shown you who she really is, now the hard part - You've got to believe her!! Take your time, you now control the narrative even though your head feels like it's been blown up! Maybe take some time away, read up on these types of boards, get some more information and make informed decisions on what to do! Blowing everything up now may not be the right thing to do, get legal advice so you know the implications - in a di…	/r/Divorce_Men	08/02/25 02:23 PM
17	Got access to her WhatsApp You know whats going on, or have a fair idea - something inappropriate!! Voice activated recorders are the next step for confirmation then plan your way out, do not confront!!	/r/Divorce_Men	18/01/25 11:46 AM
3	Spiraling That's the key, know the same feelings (would of, could of, should of) but remember - they have shown us who they really are, now the hard part - we've got to believe them!!	/r/Divorce_Men	16/01/25 09:42 AM
4	Imagine being bitten by a snake, and instead of focusing on healing from the poison, you chase the snake to understand why it bit you and to prove to it that you didn't deserve to be bitten. Ambivalence - That's the best way to be, sometimes you've got to fake it till you make it!	/r/Divorce_Men	11/01/25 04:37 PM
3	The divorce subreddit is sickening!!!! Pretty much my experience too - got to be very careful out there! Trust but verify comes to mind!!	/r/Divorce_Men	06/01/25 12:49 PM
4	Here is my divorce story Just double check with a solicitor - take all the papers with you so you know 100% what the deal is, sounds like you've got it mostly covered!!	/r/Divorce_Men	18/12/24 07:04 PM
1	Here is my divorce story Good call on that book - great reviews! A better modern version plus the author gets great reviews on his other books! Cheers	/r/Divorce_Men	18/12/24 07:02 PM
6	Here is my divorce story Firstly read - 'No more Mr Nice Guy' by Robert Glover. Free PDF on the net. You will no doubt see a few similarities, most do - Live and learn! Unfortunately, Like most step parents you've worked out your role and place in this marriage (it's not just step parents but certainly more common) - ATM plus no authority over her kids. It was different when you met, funnily enough, as these issues didn't exist but there were big jealousy issues and early signs of excessive control which you've now work…	/r/Divorce_Men	18/12/24 05:11 PM
2	Book Recs? Some great recommendations - thanks	/r/Divorce_Men	13/12/24 12:23 PM
3	How do women keep guys in bad marriages If your not reading it and only looking to see 'the other side', probably best to stay in the shadows and soak up the information without passing judging comments, as it doesn't help anyone! I'm sure you already know this?	/r/Divorce_Men	12/12/24 09:41 AM
1	Saved marriage Read this above - Hits it right on the head! Actions not Words! Remember - You can not negotiate DESIRE!! She hasn't any for YOU OP, maybe she did at the beginning / maybe not but now she definitely hasn't - it's time to move on!!	/r/Divorce_Men	16/10/24 08:04 AM
3	She wants a divorce after 40 years Classic - re-writing history to suit the new narrative! Sometimes know as 'death from a thousand cuts' - unfortunately there is nothing you can do about this, a lot of people do this. Potentially good quality counseling could help but may not change the outcome! Seen this first hand and it's very difficult to deal with it but it is what it is - time to rebuild your life, a new better life - be your best version and see where you go!!	/r/Divorce_Men	01/10/24 10:32 AM
1	What are some tips or quick fixes that actually had a big impact on your life? Great advice, Take what you need and leave the rest but make sure it's quality and relevant to your own situation!	/r/askMRP	18/09/24 09:36 AM
9	Illegal Drugs, Emotional Affairs, and Alimony. Oh-my! Unfortunately, this situation is the 'classic' reason why not to get married! A spouse, male or female can do anything they like (within reason) but still come out with the prizes as the one who does the work, is financially sensible gets screwed plus the children by association! I suspect your children will end up with you as your wife is too interested in herself and her new toy boy, then the next one etc! Remember - she's shown you who she really is, now the hard part = you've got to believe …	/r/Divorce_Men	29/07/24 08:13 AM
9	What do I do? Based on what you've typed, you already know what she's really up to - Match.com is a dating site! There's no way you can trust her, your wife is no longer the woman you thought she was but the hard part is 'You've got realize that'. You've caught her out but she didn't tell you the truth, adults don't just meet up to chat - you know fine well what they do, get a STD test immediately if you've been intimate with your wife in the last year (just get one anyway to be safe and sure!!). Do not confr…	/r/Divorce_Men	23/05/24 09:01 AM
1	Dating a person with little to no net worth at age 40? Can you put up a link - Sounds interesting!!	/r/Divorce_Men	25/04/24 11:53 AM
1	How do I move on? Not sure why you're getting down voted - some key points are in that list!! People need to realise - 'take what you need and leave the rest!!' Making a plan is key, change it as things develop, make it happen - be the driving force for yourself and ignore any advice especially legal from your (ex) spouse!!	/r/Divorce_Men	08/02/24 10:11 AM
5	The worst part of this divorce Re-writing history is the standard narrative these days, it seems!!	/r/Divorce_Men	06/02/24 04:11 PM
2	Advice needed for sudden divorce in the UK You didn’t mention the deposit money, have your parents given it to you yet?? If not, nothing to do but if they have - return it straight away and look to cancel the house purchase to minimise future costs ASAP once you’re ready!! She’s certainly got some neck to be having an affair and you buying a house - devious comes to mind!!	/r/Divorce_Men	08/12/23 09:44 AM
3	Advice needed for sudden divorce in the UK So you’ve got six kids in total and by the sounds of things 4 are under 18 - 2 each? Remember the courts / system’s priority are the kids welfare and obviously yours too but don’t be hauled over the coals by her. I see you’ve been given advice on looking up the expected payment, that’s what you only pay until told otherwise! You’ll have to stay in the house on this situation but be very careful as it sounds like things will go soar potentially so protect yourself with VARs (voice activated recor…	/r/Divorce_Men	08/12/23 09:42 AM
2	Advice needed for sudden divorce in the UK Make sure that deposit money is with your parents and you don't have any of those funds - could be classed as a marital asset! Effectively you have four kids and she has two - would make more sense that she moved out! Do not move out until you've spoken to a solicitor!! Who else knows about the affair, could use it as leverage to get her to move out but take legal advice before doing anything! She wants her cake and eat it - it's time to change the dynamics, otherwise you'll be on the hook for a…	/r/Divorce_Men	07/12/23 09:50 AM
2	Wife having second thoughts? Need to get your opinions Having had a quick look at your history - you were a SAHD and she cheated on you, definitely emotionally but more than likely physically! Have you ever spoken to that co worker, chased the details - that is certainly a defining moment!! Remember, this is the only time you actually caught her - there will be others that she hasn't admitted to! Have a look at all the responses - you already knew what was coming and even tried to counter act it in your post with a preface - most won't have even rea…	/r/Divorce_Men	04/12/23 07:25 PM
1	One year field report Great realistic post - you're on your journey, having researched the 'real world'. The stay plan is the same as the go plan plus you've secured your overall position which changes the dynamics, which I feel is key!! Most people have no idea what the consequences are until it hits them in the face - 'Everyone has a plan until they are punched in the face'. Live and learn, use what you need and leave the rest, keep moving forward - it's your life and nobody else's!!	/r/MarriedRedPill	27/10/23 01:39 PM
2	A year in. Hold on to hope, fellas! Just read your history, I'm a similar age and nearly ready to start the process. Like you, I've researched the whole marital issues and seen new light on the matter - where was this material when we all signed up to this madness of marriage? I knew I didn't want to but peer pressure got the better of me - golden handshake / golden handcuff analogy! Read similar / researched similar outlooks for answers and formula's - be your best version, create desire, being careful and look after yourself, ha…	/r/Divorce_Men	11/08/23 04:13 PM
1	What would you do? I've known both men and women in this situation and unfortunately your experience seems to be normal, which is cruel after investing so much!! It is what it is, keep communication open but stand back (easier said than done sometimes) and see how the cards land. This should be a lesson for anyone blending families plus taking on single parents - their are risks which are not assessed at the start!!	/r/Divorce_Men	09/08/23 02:36 PM
2	Anyone feel trapped because they feel they're too broke to divorce? I know what you're saying - there's no doubt she'd want her half!!	/r/Divorce_Men	09/08/23 02:21 PM
2	Anyone feel trapped because they feel they're too broke to divorce? That's assuming she hasn't spent it or squirreled it away to somewhere secure and not so easy to find, plus she has control of that money even if she hasn't been so devious! He needs to make his own plan - the stay plan can be the same as the go plan, see above, almostthere22 comment! There's no doubt, there's a complete in-balance with the spending / commitments style of funding but it looks like it's been agreed as opposed to coerced - this needs to change ASAP. Make a plan and start working i…	/r/Divorce_Men	08/08/23 10:38 AM
1	I am confused with my life, divorce, mariage and hook ups Reality not the societal based indoctrination!! Wake up and see what's actually going on, both men and women!!	/r/Divorce_Men	02/08/23 10:01 AM
2	One year sober anniversary in the same week as beating the wifes objections to 50/50 custody...Keep your eyes on the prize, keep doing the right things, and everything will fall into place. Great update, where there's a will, there's a way! Keep up the work and keep moving forward!!	/r/Divorce_Men	25/07/23 11:00 AM
3	My journey Oh so entitled!! Certainly a lesson learned but it didn't go all her way but be very careful going forward, as she's shown you what she's capable of!!!! Certainly worth reading 'No more mr nice guy' - a free pdf on the web! The Walt Disney version of marriage doesn't actually exist or work! I was stationed at both of those bases, plus lots of others - many many moons ago, your post reminded me of the good old days as a 'singley' and I always knew not to get married whilst serving!! SNCO advised …	/r/Divorce_Men	13/07/23 05:05 PM
3	Has anyone tried antidepressants? Exactly right - I've seen the out fall too!! The magic pills do not deal with the problem, only the symptoms - Western medicine at it's best!! Exercise till exhausted - feel the burn , eat healthy , fresh air , and a whole lot of positive healthy things was way better!!	/r/Divorce_Men	21/06/23 12:24 PM
1	A good website for those who are dealing with high-conflict women. Some great articles - thanks for sharing!!	/r/Divorce_Men	13/06/23 08:37 AM
14	I realize I’m terrified of being alone Get busy dying (inside) or get busy living!! Change your mindset - you have the time to do all the things you wanted / want to do! Appreciate it takes time and planning but the best time to start is today - be your best self and best dad. Get those hobbies going, meet new people, get fit and look after yourself - now is the time! This will help with your mental state, keep away from booze, drugs and poor food! I'd sell that house and get something new, new start!	/r/Divorce_Men	02/06/23 09:18 AM
8	My ex-wife told me she got "raped" by multiple men, multiple times. At first I felt all sympathetic for her, until she told me by who, when and where. Time to block and fully move on, sounds like everyone is will be doing the same!! Best tell her to get into some sort of medical care centre, hopefully her employer benefits will assist as this is way above your station!!	/r/Divorce_Men	12/05/23 02:43 PM
4	I feel like I now hate women Very insightful - food for thought!!	/r/Divorce_Men	10/05/23 09:42 AM
1	A note to my future self All depends on how long ago it was, can the records be pulled up after say 5 years? Property can usually be seen for a long time, so better to stay away from that but money can be lost quite easily as long as you’re careful!	/r/Divorce_Men	19/04/23 04:01 PM
2	Consent order question (UK) Do it online with Wikidivorce - considerably cheaper!!	/r/Divorce_Men	22/03/23 01:50 PM
1	Important - Does anyone know how to contact an admin or mod on 'Men's Divorce Forum' website? I've been locked out too - don't even know why! Bloody annoying as it's a great resource!!	/r/Divorce_Men	10/03/23 12:06 PM
1	The Rational male Game Changers - Make informed decisions as opposed societal beliefs, that obviously don't work! 50% divorce rate, majority of unhappy marriages and relationships - take what you need from these books, leave the rest but use the information with wisdom!	/r/Divorce_Men	14/02/23 01:29 PM
2	Help - UK Joint Online Divorce With this length of marriage - normal settlement starts at 50/50. All assets and liabilities are taken into account - based on what you've stated, this doesn't seem an equitable split!! Doesn't matter who's name the property was in as such, you contributed towards the household plus any improvements to the home? Get legal advice ASAP	/r/Divorce_Men	06/01/23 01:24 PM
2	I need advice. Being a 'nice guy' or having the 'White Knight syndrome' is a fairy tale story that doesn't work in real life!! You now know that and reaping the benefits - NOT!! Your just an ATM and security blanket and she's even told you it's not enough - better house down the road etc plus no sex - you cannot negotiate DESIRE!! No kids, pity sex, you're doing the heavy lifting on everything - this isn't a partnership, it's nearer to slavery!! Read the books / free pdf's on the internet below and do the rese…	/r/Divorce_Men	23/12/22 09:46 AM
5	long read - There is no coming back now A story as old as time - it's a sad reflection of where we are today!! She's shown you who she really is, now the hard part - you've got to believe her!! You need to buy a couple of VAR's immediately, you can buy USB types and keep them in your pocket 24/7. Best to keep them running at all times, as this will give context of any escalations or threats - based on what's happened so far, it's when it happens and not if it happens! You can get them on Amazon or a local store (ideally buy with cash …	/r/Divorce_Men	24/11/22 08:38 AM
10	For what? Sound familiar to anyone?	/r/Divorce_Men	21/11/22 08:27 AM
1	This is like trying to get out of a cartel... Spot on - this is so common!! Get the husband in the cauldron - the witches will cook him!!	/r/Divorce_Men	04/11/22 09:57 AM
6	This is like trying to get out of a cartel... Your going to be the bad guy now plus in the future too - she's shown you who she really is, now the hard part, you've got to believe her!! Think of all the opportunities you're missing out of, plus the peace and tranquility you will get without all this drama!! I'd plan your way out, speak to the family first, just dropping hints and stay close to them but your main priority has to be you and only you!! They will still be there and if they want contact it will happen organically anyway! No kids…	/r/Divorce_Men	03/11/22 12:30 PM
3	Hey lads. Need a little of advice. It'll of been on her mind for quite a while and she's ahead of the game, at the moment!! You need to make your own plan and quickly, this will also help with clearing your head but it takes a bit more time on the emotional stuff. Remember, go with your gut feeling - you have it for a reason, sounds like something is going on, so be prepared for the worst and only hope for the best!! I'd get some legal advice ASAP - most solicitors do a free confidential half hour. Make sure you already have your…	/r/Divorce_Men	03/11/22 12:11 PM
1	Going to drop the bomb soon... I can relate to the whole scenario - classic bait and switch tactics and no accountability! I've waited till my kids are up, at least you had none, makes things a lot easier going forward! The stay plan is the same as the go plan - having a plan is key and making informed decisions going forward!! Live your life now for you - great news!!	/r/Divorce_Men	19/08/22 08:17 AM
7	The Most Important Thing Divorce Taught Me A great insight to your book - thanks for sharing!! I'll certainly be reading more! I'd say the details and descriptions you have above - both men and women can empathise (that's the key as opposed to sympathise) with your thoughts! The general difference is that women and men are 'programmed' differently due to social conditioning, expectations, family history and biologically. We all need to learn from life, make informed decisions and keep moving forward. The definition of insanity 'Doing the…	/r/Divorce_Men	10/08/22 07:52 AM
1	She's taking half of everything after spending our marriage doing nothing. This is very common - life is a learning experience, you now know the score! There’s a free pdf on line by Robert Glover ‘no more mr nice guy’. Read it, you’ll relate, most of us do. Use it for going forward. At least you had no kids, as your situation would be a whole lot worse - a blessing in disguise.	/r/Divorce_Men	29/07/22 09:42 AM
3	Divorcing wife with escalating black and white demands, INCAPABLE of compromising. Help! You need some VAR's - voice activated recorders on permanently!! She's shown you what she will and can do - the hard part, you've got to believe her and take steps to protect yourself and your daughter!! Be careful and read through all the advice, take what you need and ignore the rest! This isn't going to be easy to exit and resolve but keep moving forward! Sounds like the family also know what's going on, might be worth contacting them on the down low but be very sympathetic to the cause i.e. …	/r/Divorce_Men	18/07/22 07:23 PM
2	18 months out still stings There really is no closure, best to stop looking - sounds a lot easier than it is but you know the reality! Having experienced something similar, think of this - she's shown you who she really is (the mask dropped eventually, they all do!), now the hard part - you've got to believe her!! You've gone through the normal stages of grief, everyone reacts in different ways - pick the best ones and use them to push you forward again!! Stay off the booze and/or drugs - lots of exercise (any but the mor…	/r/Divorce_Men	30/06/22 10:52 AM
10	Can't get the courage to leave So your aware of what's going to happen - she's told you!! The hard part is, you've got to believe her - read here long enough and you'll know what's going to happen!! PLAN for the worst and hope for the best!! Make sure you have enough assets, to offset the potential legal issues - they are coming whether you like it or not!! No doubt the kids will be indoctrinated in her narrative, plus friends and family - take no chances and be prepared!!	/r/Divorce_Men	22/06/22 07:33 AM
4	Thanks for the brotherhood on this forum Make informed decisions and be the best version of yourself! Time to move forward, life is for learning and not making the same mistakes again!!	/r/Divorce_Men	25/01/22 12:32 PM
2	10 Myths about Family Law in the UK Does that include things like, pre marital pensions which haven't been co mingled or even stopped being funded prior to the marriage starting? I'm aware that inheritances, if not co mingled in joint accounts are normally excluded but like everything it all depends if there are children involved and the finances of the marital pot! The courts main priority is to protect them, ideally to reduce the state benefit exposure, plus make sure the parent(s) can look after them, depending on what split th…	/r/Divorce_Men	20/01/22 04:45 PM
3	There is hope Live and learn - that's the key! Making informed decisions is key, do the research and do the work - be your best version going forward plus a great dad! Once your kids find out what actually happened, the dynamics of the issues of the divorce will significantly change - keep your file and notes, just in case they are needed!! A wise man always learns from other's experiences and mistakes!! There's no doubt, we are all 'conditioned' by society and the likes of Walt Disney, piers and parents - th…	/r/Divorce_Men	29/12/21 07:28 PM
2	How many out off asking for divorce because they didn’t want to give up their lifestyle? Was it worth it? It's the lies and deceit that get you in the end!! There's a pattern with your situation, had a similar one in my own and like a lot of people it was rug swept and no repercussions - so guess what happens, you already know the answer!! Do you know the definition of insanity - Doing the same thing again and again but expecting a different outcome!! First thing: read No More Mr Nice Guy - a free pdf on the net or get the book, this is for you to recognise some of your issues, we all follow a simil…	/r/Divorce_Men	30/11/21 12:12 PM
1	Depression Keep everything in perspective - you've got this!! Having read your posts and history - you've experienced the same as most people who come out of a long term relationship, it's now your time! Change the dynamics and take the opportunity to become the person you want to be - the new adventure starts now!!	/r/Divorce_Men	01/11/21 09:24 AM
1	The guilt and anger are killing me, so frustrated not sure what to do. Get legal advice straight away - like today!! Find out what your options are - what are the figures / expectations etc. You can rebuild from this situation but be mindful of the positives and negatives - live and learn, marriage doesn't for most but certainly not with your experiences!! Maybe you need to give up your job with all this stress and anxiety, just like she has, maybe get involved with self help groups as well and she can look after her sister or arrange care! Plan your way out but ma…	/r/Divorce_Men	29/10/21 01:57 PM
3	My wife has threatened to leave me every 18-24 months for 12 years. Sounds like she's more prepared for divorce than you are, I hope you've taken steps to counter her - if not, time to act now!! New lower paid job or new business venture, the timing is NOW!! Get legal advice on different outcomes, in theory, she can work at her normal salary once vaccinated - if it goes all the way to court, this should be taken into consideration but not guaranteed!! When some one keeps threatening you with divorce, she means it - especially when having had a few drinks as her …	/r/Divorce_Men	26/10/21 08:23 AM
4	Fear of marriage destroying relationship Having read your difference in assets, not sure about your age and history etc - it's hard to know the right answer but always follow your GUT!! Some great advice below and hindsight is always the perfect science but with having children comes a lot of responsibility both now and in the future. In the end of the day, any courts or solicitors would look to protect them (least costs to the social system) and you'll never know your requirements till you get there - is it worth the risk, only you ca…	/r/Divorce_Men	27/09/21 09:42 AM
2	Did anyone else really throw themselves into work after their divorce? It seems like a band aid but after almost four years and a couple relationships I just feel empty and keeping busy doesn't really cut it. Great advice and valuable reading material!! This could also be used for pre-divorce preparation! Life is a learning experience, keep learning, make informed decisions based on facts and research!!	/r/Divorce_Men	20/09/21 08:10 AM
1	Discomfort with financial changes Good article - thought inspiring!! Thanks for sharing. As for the lifetime alimony - change the dynamics to make them suit your more! For example, reduce your hours, change jobs, get her to earn some or more, lots more options - think outside the box and plan your way out!! Take legal advice, they wont tell you the options but you could run some ideas / examples past them - just think if you had ill health and you were on the hook for the full amount!! Having now read your history on Reddit - I …	/r/Divorce_Men	28/07/21 11:32 AM
2	The things you find.. hmmm All too common unfortunately!! Who'd have thought, your once best friend and confident would change so much? The person you married isn't the person you divorce and it may well start off amicable but normally it changes and you've got to be prepared for it - hope for the best but plan for the worst!!	/r/Divorce_Men	09/06/21 10:48 AM
2	The things you find.. hmmm Advice above is GOLD!! Get a VAR - voice activated recorder or two and wear them all the time around her, keep the recordings off site, just in case you need them!! You need to take the reins and get things moving quickly before things escalate - it's time to move on, keep strong and get your life back!! Be careful, making informed decisions is key - get legal advice immediately! Just be very careful with her phone, if she catches you - it'll blow up in your face!! Look up the 180 or grey rock m…	/r/Divorce_Men	08/06/21 04:15 PM
2	Take a Penny, Leave a Penny - Field Report Great post, the ethos of the manosphere is to improve yourself, be yourself - genuine and authentic to oneself, first!!	/r/MarriedRedPill	26/05/21 12:15 PM
-2	I’m miserable but she doesn’t deserve half of everything. There are ways and means - you need to know the system to be able to play the system. The hard part is getting that information so you can make informed decisions which will not be held against you. Most divorces are settled well before going to court, due to costs and the trauma but financial information is normally only requested over say a year or two but can go up to five (European details), more than likely different in the USA. A lot of truth about not getting married in the first place th…	/r/Divorce_Men	11/05/21 04:29 PM
0	I’m miserable but she doesn’t deserve half of everything. Great advice - plan your way out!! Reduce your exposure to being fleeced but make sure you know how to do it plus what your liable for - take some legal advice about your situation now plus in the future as say a specific date (kids 18 etc). Change your perspective to relate to the actual situation as opposed to living on hope, things will change (they won't!) - the stay plan is the same as the go plan!!	/r/Divorce_Men	11/05/21 02:45 PM
1	Foiled a plot... Hi - Keep hanging in there, as this one hell of rollercoaster!! You don't need me to tell you this but you know there is more, a whole lot more - plus it's been going on for a long time. Probably like my wife, she saw no issues in doing what she was doing (only talking after all!!??) - can you see the messages / the content? I read a few that were archived by accident (check deleted and archived!!) and it wasn't sexual but that made no difference as the general conversations were disrespectful a…	/r/Divorce_Men	30/11/20 12:30 PM
1	Foiled a plot... Sorry you've joined the club nobody wants to be in!! With regard to any advice - take what you need and ignore the rest!! You have a long road ahead either way, if you stay together or divorce - trauma / infidelity is the gift that never stops giving!! The best advice is to make sure you have enough information so you can always make an informed decision, you wife at the moment is full of regret at getting caught - she needs individual counselling to address the issues, was it a one time event a…	/r/Divorce_Men	27/11/20 10:14 AM
1	It Feels Like I Am The Bad Guy Either Way A heart felt story, looking back can make you stronger for looking forward - nothing will change unless you make it happen!! I suggest you try to change things first but also make a exit plan if needed - the stay plan is the same as the go plan!! Have a read of the free online pdf by Robert Glover - 'No more mr nice guy', it's going to open your eyes even more but gives guidance on how to change things! Your situation is quite common for both men and woman and you've obviously looked into it and…	/r/Divorce_Men	27/11/20 09:55 AM
1	How bad can a divorce be financially for a man in the UK? Basically there's no benefits, the dynamics can change once married plus it's easy to get in but not so easy to get out!! See the post below - why exactly does she want to get married, that's the question?	/r/Divorce_Men	08/09/20 07:14 AM
1	Well. Here we go. Not sure where to start. Keep moving forward, that's the key!! You have to rely on yourself for the foreseeable future, be the best version of yourself and look after yourself - that's key!! If at some point your wife gets onboard, that would be great but you cannot control what she is doing - you do you!! Maybe at some point, counselling for you both may help but she has to help herself and stop the destructive behaviour like you have - show her the lead but she has to follow by her own accord!! This is going to be a t…	/r/Divorce_Men	15/08/20 07:46 AM
1	Well. Here we go. Not sure where to start. You needed that vent - what a messy situation!! Counselling may help you but I think you need to make a plan about going forward!! You need to do you, be your best version and if everyone else follows that's great and if they don't that's great as well! You cannot keep everyone happy (read above again), you've learned from the experiences above, good and bad bits and need to move forward!! Sounds like drinking is a key destructive part in the family but they need to decide as you did to stop or …	/r/Divorce_Men	15/08/20 07:21 AM
1	Getting divorced...healthy tips? Great advice - take what you need and leave the rest, is always the key!! There's no doubt that active exercise of any kind helps - it get the bodies natural defence system working plus those natural highs, plus you'll look and feel a lot better very quickly!! Using weights, punch bags etc can really up your bodies strength and clear / cleanse the mind which is always needed but especially now - it's all up to you, all about you, being the best you and being happy within yourself!! You know what…	/r/Divorce_Men	14/08/20 03:13 PM
1	My divorce story Thanks for sharing!! The dream isn't always as real as we thought it is or was!!	/r/Divorce_Men	20/05/20 03:18 PM
1	Really could use a little happiness Great analogy!! This is the difference between empathy and sympathy - you've been through it yourself!! Thanks for sharing.	/r/Divorce_Men	29/04/20 11:02 AM
2	Found incriminating evidence, did I blow it by saying something? \<sup>\</sup><sup>\</sup><sup>\</sup><sup>\</sup><sup>\</sup><sup>This</sup> should be the 'standard man recovery plan' - great advice!! \<sup>\</sup><sup>\</sup><sup>\</sup><sup>\</sup><sup>\</sup><sup>\</sup><sup>\</sup>^ I'm not quite at the divorce stage but the 'stay plan is the same as the go plan'. Reallydidthistime - she's shown you who she really is, now the hard part - you've got to believe her!! Spaceman below and Redveinlover above both sum it up very well - she's playing you, especi…	/r/Divorce_Men	29/04/20 11:00 AM
1	What can I do Protect yourself first - this is key!! Maybe use the couch for a few days before you step up any action - slowly slowly is the key here, you've got kids involved plus an unstable wife!!! Be careful - keep posting and people can advise and hopefully help!	/r/Divorce_Men	01/04/20 03:22 PM
3	50 yr old getting divorced after 24 yrs. Get some legal advice ASAP - be careful, no need to blow up the situation but you need to do it quickly, guide her and yourself through it!!	/r/Divorce_Men	21/03/20 11:51 AM
1	NEED HELP - Wife cheated Keep calm but the best way to make things more difficult is to get the affair out in the open - does his partner know, plus does their work know what's going on? Before you rush to affect her work, will it affect your payment in child benefit / alimony etc - may be worth waiting on that front till the paperwork has been sorted! Who knows and who could potentially change the outcome to your favour - pick your battles and win the war! In the meantime, you need to get yourself into the best shape y…	/r/Divorce_Men	24/02/20 07:24 PM
14	Tidying up some USB drives and found this - seems appropriate An old one but a classic!!	/r/MGTOW	17/11/19 01:13 PM
1	Sticky Sidebar for Visitors on New Reddit Layout Some great advice on these threads - didn't realise there was a side bar, how do you open it? Many thanks	/r/Divorce_Men	13/11/19 05:23 PM
2	Divorce Success. Don't stay in a bad relationship, take your chances to get out now. Got to love a man with a plan - actions speak louder than words! Going through the same thing myself, house not sold yet but everything else is, reduced earnings for a couple of years so we've had to use my savings to prop it all up - not much is going to be left in the end plus the kids are up - all about timing perhaps! Sometimes when you wake up, you see it for what it is and not for what you want it to be - Walt Disney has a lot to answer for plus current social media and feminism, a toxic m…	/r/MGTOW	05/11/19 03:04 PM
2	Divorce Success. Don't stay in a bad relationship, take your chances to get out now. In the UK you can get a 'financial order' to stop this but if it was deemed things were hidden or false facts given, it could be over turned but for most people it's just too expensive! Keep your powder dry and live frugally for a while, little to no correspondence and stay off the social media bllcks! Who's to say the new partner, if any isn't loaded?	/r/MGTOW	05/11/19 02:54 PM
2	Divorce Success. Don't stay in a bad relationship, take your chances to get out now. Good advice - the 'witches coven' comes to mind!!	/r/MGTOW	05/11/19 02:50 PM
1	Dealing with perception & family who adore your soon to be ex-wife Sounds like you're going to have to tread carefully! Narcissist behaviour by the sounds of things! It's impossible to reason with her, especially whilst trying to sort the divorce out - grey rock / 180, i.e. detach and minimum communication with her except about your kids and the finances! I'd visit your family, especially now having seen what's been going on - you need to keep them close if you want them on your side! Maybe use recording devices yourself, just to cover your back and maybe expos…	/r/Divorce_Men	28/10/19 04:06 PM
3	After 2 years of depression followed by 2 years of hard work I managed to get my first job Great news!! Keep up the hard work!	/r/MGTOW	28/10/19 02:22 PM
13	Hide your strength, bide your time. A classic - still true today though!!	/r/MGTOW	26/10/19 04:47 PM
3	I don't care anymore - about women or busting my ass at work You've entered the system / the game! It's not quite what we all thought it was, you're learning quickly!! Most never learn or see it for what it is - work smart not hard! Being seen as the best man, make the cut and do what is needed but always be on your guard as others will try to steal your thunder! Be yourself and be authentic, be the man you want to be - you may have to fake it till you make it initially but you can go your own way! The key is to save money as opposed to spending it all, w…	/r/MGTOW	23/10/19 08:39 AM
4	[FR] Initiate Often, Confident Always Could of written this to the word!! Shift in thought patterns, realising the difference plus doing the work to get to where you need to be!!	/r/MarriedRedPill	14/10/19 06:37 PM
1	In Limbo Best thing to do is go and see a lawyer, explain your situation fully plus give a few options going forward i.e. if you had a lower income etc - see what the real outcome would look like instead of over thinking! Make a plan, it will help you, then work the plan. May take 12 months or even longer but you will have a goal and that will make a big difference - how do I know, doing it myself. It takes time but the sooner you start the sooner it'll be over - you need to get out to keep your sanity! …	/r/Divorce_Men	29/08/19 08:11 AM
1	I think she's an addiction... Having been on the same journey as yourself, having read your posts - so many follow these steps but eventually something happens to push you over the line! One thing for sure, by researching these things you realise your not alone and there seems to be a hidden track that most people take, from start to end! Unfortunately there are no winners passing the finishing line and the pain doesn't stop either but it eases over time, which we can potentially regain our self own control! There's no doubt…	/r/Divorce_Men	27/08/19 01:29 PM
1	I think she's an addiction... Oh I know these feelings and effectively it's 'dependancy ones'. Just gives you enough to keep you going but eventually you realise the 'game play!' PM if you need any further advice / support!	/r/Divorce_Men	27/08/19 11:17 AM
1	Good husband, can't seem to make wife happy There are lots of books and research to be done - find yourself again! It makes you aware of what's actually happening and why, you can then work out what you need to do for yourself. Make a plan and move forward however it suits you - things will change, you will change and become whoever you want or need to be! Good Luck!!!	/r/Divorce_Men	10/08/19 11:43 AM
3	Good husband, can't seem to make wife happy Great advice!! Been there myself and the unknown is what is keeping you anxious - you must trust your gut!! It maybe nothing but better to check and verify, the phone is always the key - don't think of it as snooping as there are no secrets in a marriage, ever!! Sounds like you're aware that she hasn't got your back - it's a terrible feeling, there's no 'I' in 'team' so you need to look after yourself a lot more! Sounds like you've got your wife on a pedestal, it's time for a change - read 'No M…	/r/Divorce_Men	09/08/19 07:08 AM
3	How do you finally get past the fear and guilt? It's a hard call and you've obviously thought about it a lot, know the feeling! You've got to look at both sides, which isn't easy as you can only really see one at the moment but are you happy, really happy - do you even remember what happy is? Sounds ridiculous but you get my gist, posts below give some insight too about the other side once you're 'free'. Are you waiting until your kids are up, maybe make it less complicated for everyone plus when it's just the two of you, no distractions, wil…	/r/Divorce_Men	25/07/19 09:48 AM
1	Don’t want a divorce but can’t stop it happening. OK - So you've realised you've a couple of issues, with both drinking and gambling and your wife has basically had enough - time for a bit of reflection! What would your reaction be if she had been doing the same thing - put yourself in her shoes, she wants the man she loved and not the man you are now! You now have to do everything for yourself - it's all about actions now, not words!! She may or may not come back, it's not a gamble but you need to be the man you want to be!! So your current ch…	/r/Divorce_Men	22/07/19 08:08 PM
5	What my cake day means to me Very refreshing to hear - I'll have a cold beer, keep it in the fridge for now! Fear is a big factor to keep people stuck and it can go on for years especially when kids are involved! Really pleased you got to the other side and it's working out for you!	/r/Divorce_Men	20/07/19 06:51 PM
1	(UK) Financial gift dilemma - possibly a dumb question Best speak to your solicitor!! Both the lender and the conveyancing solicitor will have copies on file!!	/r/Divorce_Men	15/07/19 11:51 AM
2	Sole provider. Post away!! So what's your full situation? From what you've said so far - just the no kids and with a dead beat, divorce sounds reasonable planning. That's the key - the planning, make it as easy as possible to get out of this situation	/r/Divorce_Men	15/07/19 06:42 AM
2	Maybe getting divorce Good advice - a potential plan??	/r/Divorce_Men	12/07/19 02:34 PM
3	Four Year Update Great update - we need to hear more of this, encourage everyone to follow through and put the work in! Early days for me, need to get back on it!	/r/MarriedRedPill	11/07/19 04:39 PM
2	Maybe getting divorce Wow been there and still in the mix but changed quite a few things to protect myself, it takes time to recover but with a plan you can regain control on all fronts! You cannot do a short term blast, it will not work - slowly slowly catch a monkey!!! You'll have to PM me if more advice needed on finances. With regard to the current situation you need to change you - big time!! Have you read up on marriedredpill ? Get out of the Beta way of thinking and go Red - as far as you need or feel happy! T…	/r/Divorce_Men	11/07/19 04:00 PM
1	Changing jobs year before divorce - advice requested In the UK, if your employed they only look at the current year - last 12 months or if self employed - last two years income. Sounds like your plan is good and you'll also have the time off to be with your kids, the primary goal! Likewise, why should your wife still be at home - how old are the kids?? Great minds eh! Have you got everything else set up for the split? Having taken legal advice over here - seems a sensible proposition! Planning is key here, so well worth a visit to a lawyer but…	/r/Divorce_Men	10/07/19 09:10 AM
1	Adamant about the divorce What would happen if your income suddenly dropped or stopped now - would the alimony change? Are you employed or self employed - back to college / university to better yourself long term but not whilst getting divorce, check out the rules - lawyer advice! Food for thought perhaps? Sex equality / empowerment / independence - all batted around but not quite how it works in real life perhaps??!!	/r/Divorce_Men	09/07/19 09:38 AM
2	Best friends to enemies Re-writing marital history is very common if not 'normal' in these circumstances and you'll always be the bad guy, it'll get worse - it justifies their actions! Let's be honest, what a terrible thing to do - she's really showing you who she really is, you've got to believe her!! Best thing to do is the '180' - look it up and action it. It's there to help you through this situation, to both give you strength to regain your footing plus stop any new hurts! Here's a link: https://www.survivinginf…	/r/Divorce_Men	08/07/19 08:40 AM
6	Ex buys my son a car and wants me to pay This is manipulation at it's best, you've been cornered! Depending on the relationship with your son, you could talk to him about it. I'd certainly make sure your ex knows you cannot afford it, maybe take the payment off your alimony - see what she says to that!? Your son is now old enough to understand what's going on?	/r/Divorce_Men	17/06/19 09:32 PM
3	Anyway to minimize the financial impact Sorry to hear about your situation - this is toxic at best!! I know you're staying for you kids but life is short and you could do with a quality relationship for both yourself and your kids!! This is a classic reason not to stay - she has poisoned everyone, even your kids and you're actually thinking of 'staying into your 50s' - You need to rethink your plan!! First thing, get some strong legal advice - discreetly of course, pay in cash or from someone else's account - your wife is a serious ma…	/r/Divorce_Men	14/06/19 10:35 AM
3	Feeling like all is not shit...what a difference! Keep going forward, you've made it through - now time for you!!	/r/Divorce_Men	07/06/19 03:01 PM
2	35 yr old with 4 kids - stuck in no win situation At least you're prepared for the fireworks, just be very careful when interacting with her as it may well turn on you! Might be worth get some recording devices to cover your ass, just in case she threatens or makes out you've abused her etc - it happens, especially in situations like these ones! Definitely don't leave the house, under any circumstances as you'll be accused of 'abandonment' and will be used against you going forward! Better to be in two separate bedrooms ideally, do your own coo…	/r/Divorce_Men	05/06/19 11:21 AM
1	False Rape Accusations A nightmare situation!! Best to be covered and record everything from texts, emails and voice conversations (VAR) plus I'd have a video cam on at all times when interacting with her. Never be alone with her if possible and stay away from her drama - it's only going to get worse so take the safety steps and look after yourself, get lawyered up ASAP!!	/r/Divorce_Men	01/06/19 10:36 AM