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FARTHARLOT Archive

View 0 posts and 139 comments by FARTHARLOT on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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7

Lmao it’s hilarious because that’s a myth and insecurity started and projected by men, and then they punish women for it… when they started it themselves. Porn and red pill is made by men for men and they project it on women for some reason. Foreplay, good listening, and creativity will get you way farther than anything else. Dw man.
/r/ExRedPill24/10/23 11:34 PM
3

Lmao most of this rhetoric comes from chronically online men that are dependent on their mommies to wait on them hand and foot to survive. They’re deeply insecure people that need to put down an entire gender (while ignoring history and facts) just to feel better about the fact they can’t do their own laundry lol. Don’t let them affect your self esteem; that’s how they feel better. In this highly globalized and industrial world, almost nobody is self-reliant, and we all need people to survive. I…
/r/ExRedPill21/04/23 10:10 AM
172

Of course! His Leaning Tower of Pizza Boxes art installation is only second to his primary home decor of empty alcohol bottles. Because how else would you know that he is a manly man alpha lone wolf?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/04/22 12:03 PM
30

Cannot wait for this to happen sooner 🙏🏽 sign me up for this commune pls
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/04/22 09:13 PM
26

How do you PM people (like what you say)? I tried Pming someone once, and she got scared off by the terminology and how intense it was. Any tips to preface people?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/03/22 07:38 PM
184

Agreed. Men are so predictable for me. They want to feel like big, strong men that provide while actually doing nothing and being coddled by their mommy bangmaids. They want you to cater to them like a mother, screw them like a porn star, and support them like a therapist— all while making them feel like they’re in charge. The only thing more predictable than a man’s sexual entitlement is his ego; I’d say they’re pretty simple to navigate.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/03/22 05:27 PM
22

If this is true, why can’t men leave us alone? I wish the men that thought this way would actually stay away from women, but instead they are obsessed with them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/03/22 05:06 PM
91

Exactly. The reason she is so prepared is because she knows that she is on her own and she cannot trust him to support her; in fact, she’s actively anticipating that he will screw her over so she’s getting a lawyer. That’s really sad to me, but I’m glad she is protecting herself. Meanwhile he loves that she’s independent except when it comes to independently taking decisions about him. Translation: take care of yourself without bothering me so I don’t have to worry about you, but when it comes t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/03/22 06:29 AM
2

All that factors into unpleasantness, especially the point I made about how low the bar is for men and how they still manage to consistently shimmy below it. Take a look at the posts on the relationship subreddits to see the magnitude and frequency of unpleasantness when it comes to men— it’s not even comparable imo. Women aren’t the ones that majority catcall, make sexually charged comments, make uncomfortable jokes and condescending comments in the workplace, lack basic hygiene, and expect sex…
/r/ExRedPill03/03/22 08:13 AM
5

I really appreciate all the time and thought you’ve put into your comments, but unfortunately I’m not sure how far you’ll get on Reddit. You’re totally right that toxic masculinity is generated and enforced by men, even tho they are the victims of it. However, men here are determined to be victims because they want the privilege and the pity. It’s easier to complain about SoCiETy than to put in the work, go to therapy, and do something about it.
/r/ExRedPill03/03/22 05:18 AM
8

lmao imagine working this hard to be a victim when the system literally exists to benefit you If anything, it’s honestly great for men that standards are so low. If you manage to shower semi-often, put on clothes, and can string together a question or two to keep conversation going, you’re already a top tier dude. Compare that to women who shower, groom themselves, and do most of the domestic/emotional labor in relationships— and that’s baseline for them. Most of my friends still date dudes that…
/r/ExRedPill03/03/22 05:13 AM
2

Do you have an example for the best way to build a profile and how to search on this website? I tried searching a common name first and last name with keywords about location, but it was hard to narrow down.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/02/22 05:46 AM
31

Disclaimer: I’m not 100% sure what goes in the heads of these men, but from what I’ve seen, I think they resent the wife for not being the perfect mommy-maid like their mom was. These moms always self-sacrifice, spoil their kid, and never complain, so when they learn that their wife is an actual human with limitations, feelings, and dislikes, they often resent them since mommy was perfect. Another thing I’ve noticed about South Asian men in the west is that they will be so attracted to women who…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/02/22 09:26 AM
158

And you always notice: men use all these sad things that happened as if to justify it. Well my house burned down, well I was feeling sad, well I had a bad day at work, so that’s why I acted this way. Women go through so much more harassment and face more abuse/exploitation, but you don’t see a majority of them acting half as depraved as the average man when it comes to sexual assault. It’s almost as if the problem isn’t the sad things that happen to them; it’s them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/02/22 05:40 AM
265

I am from this culture, and I strongly agree. These men are endlessly coddled by their mothers who raise them to believe that they can do no wrong, and there is such an element of sexual repression and taboo, that they view women for sexual pleasure or women that are pure and perfect like their moms. At the end of the day, they want a subservient woman that will gracefully put up with their abuse, enable their lack of contribution to the household, and mommy them. But, of course, no one will be …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/22 07:19 PM
2

It’s not just culture for men— check out (or actually don’t) all of the lib fems in the comments that are justifying his actions and saying “yOu dOnT OwE hER aNyThiNG” because she said no. Vet women just as much as you vet men; there are a lot of porn and patriarchy sympathizers out there.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/22 10:20 AM
16

When it comes to children, I disagree. The baby’s father, who will be in her life, is a colorist with rumours of abuse and all around depraved behaviour. And tolerating/loving that kind of behaviour is how that child will be raised. At least that child has the financial advantage, but in terms of learning about healthy, self-respecting relationships, that child will be a severe disadvantage. I really fear for that child if it’s a girl. I’m glad she is happy now, but she is now tied to that man i…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/01/22 09:52 PM
39

Totally agree— and it’s so frustrating to be surrounded by this irl, too. This literally just happened to one of my friends, and she is still reeling over it, not to mention the trust issues she probably has now. Luckily she had the strength to cut the guy off, but when she was in the process of cutting him off, she was the one consoling him and telling him “I hope you find what you’re looking for, you’re a nice guy.” Because of courseeeee he went on this self pity rampage and made himself out t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/01/22 09:59 PM
135

I agree— there’s this pressure where showing emotion is weak and giving people the upper hand, so especially women (aka the “more hysterical sex”) try to not display any sort of emotion. I was actually on the fence about block and delete until this post (my thinking was similar to the younger women), until these replies helped me realize that I have every right to feel disturbed, and my desire to preserve that peace means so much more than any boost to someone’s ego that they “affected” me. At t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/01/22 11:01 PM
13

Can I ask for an example of how those would be different in practice? Your comment makes sense for sure, but I’m trying to think of what the alternative (sharing and healing) would look like if it was mainstream.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/12/21 01:55 AM
13

Absolutely, and I am so horrified that you had to go through that. In my experiences observing my friends, gay men are actually more touchy and ignorant of physical boundaries because they think of themselves as having different permissions or “one of the girls” or something. It’s only fine if you give consent, and I edited my comment to reflect that. I hope you are healing now, and wish you all the support and happiness 💕
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/21 08:05 PM
134

Totally agree with all of this. But also adding on— gay men are often socialized the same as straight men. Even without the sexual pestering, in my experience, they have been just as entitled, self-centered, and inconsiderate as other men; you just don’t always have to worry about constant sexual advances. At the end of the day, they are men. Edit: not saying that sexual harassment/assault by gay men is not possible at all— in some cases they are more touchy. My solidarity to anyone who has gone…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/21 11:17 AM
13

While you were IN LABOUR? I can’t imagine how upsetting and isolating that just have been. Oh my goodness, I am so so glad that he is an ex, and I hope you are getting more sleep now 💕
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/12/21 10:07 PM
21

This actually makes me really sad because I see how women have their potential bogged down or extinguished because they choose men (tho in older times, it wasn’t always a choice due to law). The part that makes me sad is how much things haven’t changed. I feel like so many women I know are truly exhausted, exploited, and under-appreciated because they chose men, and they become side characters in their own lives. I don’t see it changing very quickly due to the mainstream acceptance of liberal fe…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/12/21 10:05 PM
35

If you don’t mind me asking, how do you reconcile concepts like the hijab and the ability for men to marry outside of the religion while women cannot? I don’t mean this in an argumentative manner; I mean more that everyone has their own bond with religion and interprets it differently, so I was wondering how you feel about those. I realize this is personal, so no need to respond if I’m being nosy!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/11/21 11:12 AM
206

Yea, I think there was an article posted here a couple of months back about pregnant women having their seats in buses vandalized with slurs (think something crueler than “cum dumpster” when translated) and men refusing to give up their seats for pregnant women. My Korean friend, even after moving to the US, refuses to date Korean men. In fact, most of my friends refuse to date men from our respective cultures, so this is definitely not unique to Korea. Much love and respect to the feminism move…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/11/21 10:07 PM
24

I was thinking the same exact thing… I feel like they are still bound by people’s opinion and trying to prove themselves by trying to look at expensive as possible. Not trying to undersell how amazing these women are for defying societal norms and working hard to achieve their goals, but like you were saying, I feel like it can lead to a very capitalistic notion that you can either be a married, dependent, family woman or a wealthy, high-powered CEO #girlboss or else you have no value. The ring …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/11/21 04:43 PM
7

Agreed. Though I do think that moments of financial crisis and inequity breed extremism (like red pill), I think the majority is that we, as women, are no longer willing to put up with the garbage, man-baby antics of men. And we no longer have to financially rely on them, so there is even less of a reason to tolerate or engage with them, leading to bitterness and disenfranchisement of men who have been taught that they are entitled to women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/11/21 03:03 AM
28

Ashnikko said in an interview that it’s a persona, so it’s not who she is and what she truly embodies. Just a gimmick that sells. To sexualize adolescent/childlike looks and to sing about being good in bed or performing sexual acts for men as a part of your brand shows that she unfortunately does fall into “cool girl” pickme-libfem limbo IMO because she’s trying to look cool and unattached while still basing her image off performative sexuality that only benefits men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/11/21 10:58 PM
5

Was just talking to some gen-Zers about this, and they were talking about how their TikTok feed was filled with pro-poly lifestyle people. Unfortunately they indoctrinate them young. It’s a shame.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/21 08:01 AM
136

There was a post in TwoX where a woman told her husband about being raped and alllll the comments (both men and women) were praising her husband for being amazing (he literally just listened and said I’m so mad that happened to you, sorry it happened), and so many people said “he’s such a keeper” and this one guy was like “this man is a shining beacon amongst us men”. Literally quoting him. If a man not reacting negatively to news of a sexual assault to a loved one is apparently one of the best …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/10/21 12:05 AM
10

Definitely— you gotta be careful if they are very showy about it. I tend to watch these things carefully because the “chivalrous” guys that will open your doors and pour your water at a restaurant still rely on their mom to manage their calendars and they expect their sisters to fetch their beers. And, of course, it’s mom’s fault if he forgets to pay a bill or get a birthday present for a friend.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/10/21 08:50 AM
42

It’s really sad how something as basic as empathy and literal life survival skills like cooking and laundry are somehow gendered. Sometimes it hurts my mind a little bit when I think about how millions of women around the world take all of this upon themselves without receiving any of it in return (often alongside with abuse), and it’s just considered normal. Wack
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/10/21 08:04 PM
76

To add to the subtle points in this post: Behaviour and how they treat others, especially in a group setting. Do they help set up? Do they help clean up? When they want something, do they get it themself or do they ask someone else? Do they notice things around them— a mess, if someone is upset? Do they make it a point to remember things that you say or people ask them to do, or do they rely on someone else to keep if these things for them? These little entitlements and expectations that men hav…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/10/21 07:40 PM
3

Oh gosh, I wish. Tho as someone on one of these campuses, I think most women are far too conditioned by society, media (stupid rom coms), and porn to increase their standards or recognize that sexual attention from men is predatory and dangerous rather than desirable. In fact, I think a college campus reinforces that more than anything. I used to be one of those people. I found FDS over the pandemic (thank the entity of your choice), and it took a lot of research and space from that environment …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/10/21 06:54 AM
6

Totally agree. As someone that is childfree, I still think how someone would be as a father because that just shows you how do they divide labour when there is equal responsibility. Would they be selfish? Would they just expect you to take care of it? Would they complain that they don’t have time to play games even tho you were up all night? How does he react to the fact that women’s bodies change? Additionally, how do they treat vulnerable, impressionable beings they have power over? Kids are v…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/10/21 11:59 PM
140

But things are changing in modern India! Now they want you to be financially independent, full-time worker AND a submissive sex doll that will take care of their parents without complaint!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/09/21 04:22 AM
55

Oh my goodness, same with kdramas! This article I read said the Korean government actually released “family positive” kdramas to help increase the birth rates. I’m now so aware of the terrible mistreatment in relationships that women are conditioned to view as “romantic” in kdramas (tho this is not unique to kdramas, of course).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/09/21 04:19 AM
19

…why are this man’s sexual indiscretions and fantasies considered modern journalism??? ((Also thnx for your comment tho))
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/09/21 09:05 PM
95

Thank you so much! Ohhhhh goodness, Harry literally goes “OOF” after he hears how long they have been together. Same buddy, same.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/09/21 11:01 AM
43

What happened in the video?? I can’t imagine this getting more embarrassing 🥲
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/09/21 10:47 AM
17

Here’s a news article on it to describe it. But basically a trio of men thought they were geniuses by designing a pink glove (essentially a poo baggie) for tampons and saving women from their own menstrual blood. Truly heroes amongst men 😩
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/09/21 04:17 AM
24

Would also like more info on this please
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/09/21 03:37 AM
105

Yea, instead they’ve modified feminism to cater to men’s best interest so it looks like it’s working for everyone. Men didn’t listen, so instead they slapped the label of “eMpOwERinG” on subservience and tolerating abuse so they can feel better about themselves.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/09/21 05:24 PM
10

Just wanted to say much love and healing to you as well, as that’s a horrible for pain for anyone to know. Wishing you and your family the best 💕
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/09/21 04:52 PM
1

You’ll get here eventually! It’s a journey— don’t feel bad. I’m definitely not at that level yet either, but I no longer reply to people that used to be guy friends except for “thank you” or urgent communication (since some of them are brothers of my close friends). But they literally did not care nor notice about my change in communication. When I tried bringing up anything before, my paragraphs would go ignored or dismissed. Once you get through the pain of realizing he doesn’t really care (or…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/09/21 01:40 AM
12

This is the exact show and exact couple I was thinking of when reading this thread! And the sad part is he was the most supportive husband I’ve seen so far in that show. And he didn’t even bother to learn to understand her.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/09/21 09:55 PM
102

Do y’all have any good recommendations/facts/statistics/best ways to reply to that argument? I am absolutely drenched in lib fem “sEx WorK is jUsT liKe AnY oThER wOrK” rhetoric where I live, and I’d love to have a better response!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/08/21 02:04 AM
31

Totally agree. And companies profit off children buying make up/skincare/clothing to look like adults because “embracing sexuality” before even understanding the ramifications or their own bodies (thanks to little to no sex ed) is cool/feminist now. I’m all for exploring sexuality in a healthy way, but media grooms children for older men and society serves the groomers. My heart really goes out to girls and young women right now.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/07/21 12:09 AM
239

It’s not even about creep behaviour, tbh. There have just been too many bad experiences with men feeling entitled to women’s time by trying to chat them up or randomly turning creepy if they find the woman attractive, so I just don’t want to risk that, especially when I’m trying to get things done. If I see you, I’m moving.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/07/21 08:27 PM
2

Ooo can you tell me more about this?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/07/21 07:08 PM
86

Please follow this phenomenal advice even if you are not sharing a computer— I’ve know men that have installed cameras, key logging trackers, or mirroring software. I know I sound paranoid, but it’s happened. If you plan on making a plan for leaving and your libraries are open, consider using those computers for extra security! I know it’s exhausting but keep on treading water, OP. Being a member of this community means that you WILL get out and you will have better 💕
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/21 09:54 PM
141

The only acceptable kink is kink-shaming 😎
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/21 12:09 PM
3

Fatal because sticking with him would have removed a significant number of years from your lifespan. ☠️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/21 10:03 PM
6

I think after such intense historical sexual suppression of women, any change is seen as progress, even when we are going in the wrong direction. It’s so disheartening to see women vehemently support sex trafficking, physical and mental violation, and the romanticization of selling your body due to systemic poverty.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/21 09:26 AM
10

I absolutely hate when the blanket term “sex workers” is used to describe victims of trafficking or people that have no other choice. It’s not work if you don’t choose it. That’s as ridiculous as me calling slaves in the Arab states “indentured servants” or “labourers”. Work implies there was a choice, and for women, choice implies fault. I still fail to understand how “sex addiction” is supposed to provide justification or sympathy. It just makes him more disgusting for dehumanizing those women…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/21 09:21 AM
48

Honestly, the author totally had a point where she said that men should just have vasectomies when they’re sexually active and un-snip when they’re ready for it. But lord forbid we ever hold men accountable for the consequences of their own actions without sacrificing our bodies for their pleasure. :((
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/03/21 09:38 AM
25

The kind of woman who is going to have a very rude awakening when she finally says no to a man or reaches a point where her looks can no longer buy her special treatment from men. She probably thinks attention and abuse from men is a choice. I wish her all courage and strength to overcome internalized misogyny and the limited view she has of her own potential.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/03/21 08:02 AM
16

A South Asian country was my first thought. Most South Asian men would starve to death in a grocery store.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/03/21 07:56 AM
9

Completely agreed. I also really hate when people come on women’s platforms to talk about how women have all these strong support systems, and they have it easier mentally. Dude, we MAKE those systems despite all the ridicule we get. They don’t just magically appear because we have a vagina. We take the time and effort to make them, even when people make fun of us or threaten us or even assault us for daring to make something women-only. Some guy was complaining about how men are ridiculed for I…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/03/21 05:15 AM
60

“It’s not a snake’s fault that it chooses to bites, it’s all society’s fault for drawing pictures of snakes with fangs! All the other animals should be helping snakes with their biting problem. And the real victims here are other snakes... garden snakes are scared of cobras!”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/03/21 01:57 AM
222

The worst part is those men who say “wHat aBouT mEn” don’t even talk about male suicide rates or male mental health problems amongst themselves the way we do; they don’t care. They only flaunt their struggling members as a way to invalidate women rather than actually trying to help. The people who comment that just want to be in power while also being the victims so they don’t ever have to worry about improving themselves or being the bad guy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/21 04:08 PM
12

Right? Sex positivity these days is essentially summed up in the “cool girl” trope, and “female empowerment” just assigns toxic masculinity characteristics to female characters except in a sexier way. It’s so disappointing to see young girls I know, as early as elementary school, sexualize themselves except now it’s online, so it’s immortal. Don’t get me wrong, I love the improved access to women’s reproductive health and all the conversations we’re now having about women, but not all change is …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/03/21 08:07 PM
6

This would be super awesome! I’ve also dreamed of doing the same, but even improvements to my current house are not economically feasible right now. One day! It’s cool that you have experience in this! What’s your background if you don’t mind me asking?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/03/21 06:57 PM
70

Honestly, I don’t even date, and FDS has helped me strengthen my boundaries and be more assertive in professional settings and with friends, too. I used to feel terrible for having personal preferences and for saying no to anyone, and while it’s still a work in progress, the support from FDS has helped me advocate for myself and increase my self-esteem. This is about so much more than heteronormative “I need a man.”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/03/21 08:10 PM
136

Stupid comments like that from men is what made me realize that compliments and attention from men is worth less than nothing. Y’all are so dumb that you don’t know what make up and photoshop looks like, and then you want me to value your opinion on MY looks? Yea right. Anything other than clown make up is a “natural woman” for them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/21 10:43 PM
173

Woman: a man broke into my home Operator: It’s so hard for men since people always assume they’re creeps. :/
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/21 02:25 AM
90

Warning: Spoilers for Bridgerton after the 4th episode or something. People went absolutely mad after the Bridgerton scene with the Duke, as well. I was in an all-women group on Facebook, and there was an entire post about how the women found it so appalling, and they were even starting a petition for the showrunners to condemn the rape scene and put out a public statement about how that was wrong. Even irl, everyone I talked to said how that scene was “too much”. Don’t get me wrong, that should…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/02/21 07:27 PM
126

Exactly. You know men and pickmes are gonna twist this into “wHaT a gOLd DigGeR”, but the main issue here is that he is comfortable dropping money on himself for entertainment but his fiancée’s lifelong ring is worth less? Gross. I hope she figures it out, too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/21 05:44 PM
46

Right? I don’t know why male sex seems to be this supreme, inviolable human right that supersedes all others. If your “kink” is beating up or eating (!!!) a partner that is “consenting” (aka is groomed to prioritize your pleasure over their own safety and/or is far more vulnerable to exploitation due to previous trauma), I will shame you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/21 05:20 PM
13

I grew up ugly and religious (still am 😘), so guys were never into me. I spent a long time being salty about it, and when I found FDS, I realized what a silver lining it was. I was one desperate slobber monkey when I was younger, and I probably would have done some really damaging things for guys that didn’t give two turds about me. All my friends except one have a sex story that sends shivers down my spine, and all of them except 3 have been sexually assaulted by a “friendly” guy. It makes me s…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/02/21 07:30 AM
9

Yea, I agree! And I used to believe that those women were in the right to express their sexuality however they wanted until someone showed me TikTok and you see how it’s literally priming younger generations of women to view themselves as sex objects first and foremost. It’s so sad. They now view and value themselves the way men would. And if you try to tell younger women that they’re more than a piece of meat for sex, you’re sEx nEgaTiVE. Tragic.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/02/21 07:23 AM
44

And if you go on comment threads about “what’s your worst ex story”, almost every single woman has a story about being threatened, harassed, abandoned in unsafe areas, verbally abused, or physically abused. Meanwhile, I wish I could find a partner whose worst quality is what the men were saying (tho a couple of men did have abusive exes). The best part is the most liked comment is a man who said “is it just me, or do so many of these comments come down to micropenis?” ...I saw literally 6 out of…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/01/21 08:04 AM
5

I know, it’s ridiculous! One of my friends who starting dating has been receiving appalling advice from our other friends. They literally give men every excuse under the sun for their terrible behaviour. “Oh, maybe he won’t text back because he’s eating dinner. Maybe he’s going through something you don’t know about. It’s probably hard for him to express himself emotionally.” Like ??? Men are more than capable of making up excuses for themselves, why you gotta add on? And we go through all of th…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/01/21 08:06 PM
69

Oh, gosh. This TV character thing has been driving me crazy lately because it’s also the opposite— just because people openly show you an uglier side, it doesn’t mean they secretly have a heart of gold that’s just waiting for their ✨true love✨.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/01/21 06:57 AM
20

So glad to see this post, because one of the top posts on TwoX was such a disappointing backslide for me today. It was the one where a woman was praising her SO for being uncomfortable having sex with her without her consent, and all the posts were like “I’m tearing up right now, that’s so sweet” and “wow I hope to find love like that” and it’s like???? That’s where the bar is at??? Not being comfortable raping you is the Prince Charming of our time? Damn. I’d hate to see what a mediocre man is …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/01/21 08:48 PM
4

Those red flags don’t know they are red, you just need to communicate!! Honestly, the fact you think those flags are red sounds like you’re really judgmental and controlling, so YOU’RE a red flag.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/01/21 02:31 AM
13

Thank you for the discussion; I’ll try to find that post you mentioned. Hope you have a great rest of your day!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/01/21 10:25 PM
14

In our experience, they seemed very respectful and polite until they didn’t get what they wanted, so we’ll have to agree to disagree here. I’d be fine letting them pay later on, but never on the first couple of meetings. I’d rather have a friend zone misunderstanding than to compromise safety.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/01/21 09:43 PM
38

Totally agree about cohabitation... especially when, realistically, women will be the ones doing majority of the housework/mental load unless you want to “train” the man to do a half-assed job or can afford a housekeeper. To answer your edit, tho, I am one of those people that prefers a 50/50 split, especially for first meetings. Friends and I have had bad experiences with men paying and then demanding money/expectations in return. This has happened even after multiple dates. It escalated to uns…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/01/21 09:24 PM
17

Totally agree. I don’t get why people conflate being against sex work and being against sex. I am sex positive, but I am NOT positive when it comes to an industry where a majority of the participants are not willing/are forced to choose it, are degraded, and are assaulted. I get that it can be frustrating when people assume that you’re automatically a victim if you are a sex worker that is actually having a positive time, but that one person’s experience does not overrule the fact that their ind…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/01/21 06:58 PM
8

I thought it was good for what I was expecting it to be, which is like a Riverdale version of Pride and Prejudice. Totally agree with the uncomfortable sex scenes— hope they reimbursed those actors well! SPOILER AHEAD Man, I really hated how she didn’t end up with the prince. I regretted it for her the entire time. Like, he was so respectful when she broke it off with him, and sure, there’s no guarantee that he he was perfect (and he wasn’t... not with those sideburns), but he was SO much better…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/01/21 10:19 AM
5

Would love the link as well if possible!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/01/21 10:08 AM
60

Totally agree. Willingly doing something degrading doesn’t automatically erase the implications and make it “empowering” because one “reclaimed” it. If I tried to make a disgusto barfo recipe, it’s not going to magically become delicious because I chose to recreate it. It’s going to stay disgusto barfo, because that’s how the original blueprint was.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/01/21 10:05 AM
303

The type I always encounter say “iT’s beCaUsE yoU cAn’T hAnDLe fActS” like damn ok lemme just MLA cite your fragile male ego since it’s so factually correct
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/12/20 04:27 AM
45

Exactly! Or they’ll groom a woman/ignore her until she has an outburst “out of the blue” and all of a sudden, she’s the crazy one.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/11/20 08:44 PM
84

Add a BS in physics since I was the only one expending energy to do work MS in Applied Mathematics while trying to make all of their answers add up PhD in English since I was the only one communicating At least this way was cheaper than actually trying to get those degrees in the US 🤷🏽‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/11/20 09:08 AM
13

In a way, I’m kinda glad this is how it was for me. Of course it could suck growing up, but when you’re an adult, no one gives a shit about you or holds your hand anyway, so this helped me prepare to be independent and take care of things on my own. If I can take care of a family when I’m younger, it’s so easy to just take care of myself when I’m older. I’ll obviously never treat anyone else this way based on their gender, and I don’t condone this at all since a lot of women can internalize it. …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/11/20 09:56 PM
16

Yea... If someone thinks that rape only happens because women “don’t fight back hard enough”, I really shudder to think what they have done to women while thinking it was “consensual”. So glad you got out of there, OP!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/11/20 06:34 AM
1

Do you have a link to the study? Would love to have this stat in hand!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/11/20 12:27 PM
2

Thank you! I watched the documentary, but it definitely came off as sugarcoated to me. I’ll look up the experience! I’ve heard a lot about it, and I’ve seen some documentaries about plastic surgery in S Korea. In return, here’s a nifty article about the feminism movement in South Korea.feminism movement
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/10/20 01:06 AM
2

Do you have any names? I have been looking for documentaries on this specific topic!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/10/20 04:52 AM
79

More like vilified slaves (in my community, at least). The amount of people that complain about their “nagging” wives or people that look at stay at home moms as “lazy leeches” truly shows that it is the most undervalued and unappreciated jobs out there.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/10/20 12:39 AM
10

Thank you! This was a really well-timed reminder :) You’re right; I would never shame anyone for their past selves (in an FDS context), so I should probably walk the walk and treat myself the same. Thanks for the sweet words xx
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/10/20 01:38 AM
34

Oof, the amount of times that I sent a “goodbye” message to this dude only to cave like some pathetic little squirrel and message him again makes me cringe. Like, I can feel the dignity just seeeeeeeping out my pores as I think about it. FDS has helped so much. You did so awesome! Hoping to have your strength when the time comes again!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/10/20 12:17 AM
59

That sounds so hurtful! How are you doing?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/10/20 06:14 PM
3

You’re welcome! I know FDS is more about value and long-term relationships, which is why I advise against them. My biggest piece of advice is to never, ever fall for their words— always look at their actions. I’ve had multiple friends date these guys only to be ghosted and humiliated once mummy thought it was time to move on or they expected the woman to convert or they had some religious awakening and she was a slut now. They will never choose family or culture over you, because those two thing…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/10/20 09:14 AM
9

Disclaimer: I’m Muslim myself and I choose not to date anymore; I’m on FDS for the lovely women and the inspiration. I know too many Muslim men to ever like them. Muslim men that want to date you are the butt end of male civilization. Almost all of their culture is extremely patriarchal and sex-repressed, so they just view women as walking sex dolls who dream of having their children, and they genuinely believe they deserve this. Women aren’t people, they’re an extension of their sexual and fami…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/10/20 09:03 AM
11

Ah, two of my most steadfast rules in one post. 1. Never, ever date a Muslim guy. Don’t even make eye contact if possible. 2. Don’t date a porn-sick guy. A combination of the two is like the most advanced grand daddy of all LVMs. Hope she escapes and gets out okay.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/10/20 08:32 AM
1

The number in the post was abysmally high, too. She was the 8th woman in ONE night.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/10/20 08:25 AM
3

Yea, I saw an article about Turkey first toward the beginning of the pandemic how domestic violence and female homicide rates were increasing due to quarantine.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/10/20 08:24 AM
9

Hey, I just wanted to say that I am horrified that happened to you, and that it absolutely was NOT your fault that a man forced himself on you. You vetted him as much as you could, and the blame falls on the person who commits a deplorable act, not on you. I sincerely hope that you are healing. There is no way you could have known that, so please do not blame yourself. I wish you much peace.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/10/20 08:22 AM
5

Almost as good as “you’re my own personal brand of heroin”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/10/20 07:17 PM
8

Hi! I would appreciate a DM as well!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/10/20 09:12 PM
45

Hey, at least this list is missing the classic “caught my husband with a minor / child pornography” post!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/10/20 08:07 PM
1

Examine their intentions. Do they want you to be happy, or do they want to fit a societal mould so people won’t talk badly about you? Even if they are family, most of them just want a wedding or a label to slap on you. If they really wanted you to be happily married, they would be asking you about compatibility and teaching you about communication. If they are encouraging you to settle, they’re asking for themselves, not you. Best of luck. It’s a tough situation, but what they want you to compro…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/10/20 10:48 PM
3

Your mother wanted a 50 year age gap?! I’m so glad you were able to get out of that situation. Proud of you!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/10/20 10:45 PM
2

Agreeeeed. I’ve had a really hard time finding stories that I like to watch/read now because it’s such a central facet of all narratives. I strongly feel like our society has overly romanticized romance, and I can’t tell you how freeing it was once I realized that I didn’t need a man to start my own adventure, and my life was so full already.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/09/20 09:54 PM
7

I was just thinking about this but wasn’t sure how to word it into a post! For After, it was originally a fanfic on watt pad, and it’s really scary to see young girls commenting and wishing they they had their own aggressive, abusive lead “bad boy” in their life. This sort of media, and really most stories/movies I read growing up, just didn’t really show much of an adventure or purpose in a woman’s life until a poor, damaged man that just needed a “woman’s touch” showed up, and as a huuuuuge re…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/09/20 07:23 PM
3

Happy birthday!! That sounds so peaceful! I hope you accomplish all the goals you set for yourself, and this going to be such a great year for you with that mindset! ✨🎉🍀🎊
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/09/20 07:47 PM
4

Happy belated birthday!! I hope this year is full of everything you wish for and more!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/09/20 07:45 PM
9

I’ve come to find that if a man calls me a bitch, I’m doing something right. However, when I try to return the compliment, the men don’t seem as happy :(
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/09/20 07:44 PM
88

Ugh, I think this guy was in 90% of my high school group projects. I see you, Mr. You-Did-All-The-Work-But-I’m-Team-Leader-Since-I-Picked-the-Group-Name. The only difference is at least the dudes in my group projects did one thing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/09/20 10:18 AM
7

Yea, I think your assessment is far more accurate. If he hated it that much, he would actually try to seek professional treatment and he wouldn’t be so proud of the fact he only touches those above 18. I hope all women, especially the young ones, avoid this one.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/09/20 08:19 AM
6

Completely agreed. I would just hope that he doesn’t try to twist this into a good thing (like when he says “those women can find freedom in me”), and he realizes that it’s something within himself that needs to be addressed and sought help for since I would imagine it causes a lot of self-loathing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/09/20 11:36 PM
10

Agreed! My personal interpretation of this comment was that if a man turns out to be a clown, holding him accountable or expecting a clown to be anything other than a clown still involves emotional labour and attention that you don’t need to expend if you don’t want to.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/09/20 11:33 PM
48

I agree with you— another reason he could have said it is because he, as a male, is speaking on women’s perspective. Guaranteed there are women in the comments saying “this isn’t true for me!!!11!!! Men r the best!!11!!”, so it is a theory rather than a universal truth for all women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/09/20 04:55 PM
11

Damn. I once wasn’t even getting attention from this guy (I was chasing after him like freaking Elmer Fudd), and I still believed he was the one. Romanticism is a hell of a drug.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/09/20 11:02 PM
3

If you like a dash of action and fantasy in your books as well, I would recommend A Court of Thorns and Roses series by Sarah J Maas. I love the way romance is done in that one.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/09/20 01:47 AM
20

Hey, recognizing that it was a mistake to reply and remembering it for next time is still progress! I did the same recently where I wished a guy that wasn’t worth it happy birthday when he doesn’t even remember mine or barely replies to me. Realized how stupid and crappy it felt, so I stopped replying. Each message is a new opportunity to be stronger than the last. You got this!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/09/20 06:52 PM
15

Oh my lord, I am gonna cross-stitch that last line of yours on a throw pillow for a permanent reminder. Genius 👌🏾
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/09/20 06:47 PM
11

And she’s always the one fighting for them and actually making things happen, so you just know it’s going to be a loooong life of babysitting a man child for her.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/09/20 06:42 PM
735

Welcome back to another episode of “Who Said That!” Was this line said by... A) a serial killer B) a kidnapper C) a random guy that asked me out on a date D) all of the above? Find out on next week’s episode of Dateline!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/09/20 12:46 AM
22

I have a fun story, too! Not quite as tragic as yours, but once a guy oh-so chivalrously offered to walk me to my car at night, and I warned him multiple times that it was far away. He said “no, it’s okay I can come”. Y’all. He started complaining five minutes in, wanted to turn back but he didn’t know the way back, he got so cold that I had to give him MY jacket, and to top it off, it took me an extra ten minutes since I had to wait for him to smoke a cigarette that he haaaaaad to smoke. I coul…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/09/20 08:13 AM
38

If you go to breaking mom, filter by “man rants” and read those posts, but somehow don’t want to move to the Himalayas to establish your own female commune hundreds of miles away from the nearest man, you are far more resilient than I am. Edit: The first post I read was about a woman’s husband who called her lazy for catching CORONAVIRUS and not being able to take care of him and the second post was about a woman’s bf who literally locked himself in a room, cried, and called his MOTHER when his …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/20 06:37 PM
3

I completely agree; like I said above, for someone women, it is a lot of cruel treatment just because they can, and it varies per person. It’s hard to make generalized statements based off a huge population, so I’m trying to include all the perspectives I’ve encountered. Not saying any of them are true 100% of the time, and I’m sure I’ve left some out.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/09/20 05:11 PM
18

This is a great question! I can’t speak for every woman, but there are cultural/religious and financial factors at play, and I actually don’t think that the bad treatment is always ill-intentioned. I think a main reason for this starts at birth. Desi (South Asian) women are told that their entire self-worth and purpose is wrapped up in being a self-sacrificing wife, mother, and pillar of the household. Whenever something is wrong in the house or the family, people always ask “why didn’t <woman> …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/09/20 07:45 AM
110

A lot of families in South Asian cultures live in joint families, where an entire family and multiple generations live under one roof. The women are traditionally expected to move in with the husband’s family after marriage where they perform a majority of the household labour along with the other daughter in laws. Since the daughters leave, most families prefer boys over girls since “my son will stay to take care of me” (along with other cultural ideas of gender supremacy, of course). The tyran…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/09/20 01:25 AM
1

What show is this? I need more of this in my life.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/09/20 10:02 PM
1

This is great advice, thank you! Question to all: how do you react when someone tells you about past trauma and you don’t want to/have nothing to reciprocate? Usually more personal conversations with anyone means both of you share about the topic, but how do you handle it when you have nothing of your own to share without making it seem like that’s because you don’t trust the other person?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/09/20 10:26 AM
16

As a Taurus, can confirm... I do love myself ;) (But also super sorry you had to go through dealing with narcs)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/09/20 07:15 PM
5

Someone else said it’s Untamed by Glennan Doyle!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/09/20 02:24 AM
11

Catch me chillin like a villain since they have the right ideas ✌🏾
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/20 06:14 PM
14

This is so accurate it hurts. My heart melted when my friends group went out to eat and one of the guys threw out his friends’ + his own trash when we left. This happened 5 years ago and I still remember it. I have never seen it happen since. It has always been the opposite.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/20 11:12 AM
9

Hey! I know you’re attached and it’s super hard, but he is telling you who he is, and you need to believe him. You have the option to have a husband and a family, so unless you prefer the single mom route, I would advise you to stop talking. Other notes: 1) You would be surprised when it comes to language. I’m South Indian and my family speaks a state language (I think), and I’ve found quite a number of doctors that speak various languages. Telugu, Tamil, Malayalam, Kannada, even Bengali, you na…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/08/20 12:42 AM
24

My thoughts are that it’s not so much about the action than his reaction. A decent person wouldn’t immediately invalidate your feelings, lie to cover things up, and tell you that you’re overreacting. When you bring up to him that he lied and that his actions are affecting you, his go-to response was to keep lying, tell you that YOU’RE wrong, and even now you don’t know the truth. This will only get worse, and you already know that he is willing to lie to you for his own convenience. You shouldn’…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/20 06:15 PM
9

Literally same story here, down to the family. My mom always harps about compromise and that “at least you’re going to have to meet him halfway”, but their idea of halfway is pretty much gift wrapping myself on his doorstep. Honestly, I’ve never met a decent dude in our culture, and ones that are Muslim are even worse. I’m really looking forward to when I can financially sustain myself so I can do all the things I want to without the constant “hOw cAn yOu eXisT wiThOuT a mAn??”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/08/20 12:08 AM
2

Women: men are trash!!! Also wowen: are still polite and civil and treat men with respect when interacting with them in public Men: we love women!! Men: manipulative, aggressive, entitled, violent, constantly over-sexualizing every part of a woman, non-respectful of basic boundaries
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/08/20 06:10 PM
11

What show was this?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/08/20 09:16 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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