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Faeffi Archive

View 0 posts and 65 comments by Faeffi on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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3

start a conversation that you would like and enjoy. Don't try guessing what does she want. That worked for me when i had to strike a conversation on my job and a person was a bit closed off. Yeah, that's pretty much what I meant. As an average-looking man, the majority of your matches will burn out very fast if the conversation starts casual or neutral. You get one or two messages tops, then silence, unless you bring on something witty, playful, or very distinctive early on. That's just how capt…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/01/26 01:02 PM
4

Pretty much two main reasons for this. They lost interest. Maybe they found out that you're not as compatible as they had thought in the early stages of dating. Maybe they have deeper issues, like an avoidant attachment style, but this isn't exclusive to men. You’re not reciprocating or putting in effort. I'll gladly plan and cover the first couple of dates when I'm getting to know a woman. I want her to feel at ease and comfortable first, especially if we met online. But when the relationship g…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/01/26 10:43 AM
3

Can you elaborate on that? What do you mean with "maintaining frame" and at what point should you expect a woman to be attracted to you? I certainly don't expect anyone to fall for me before we've at least had sex or been seeing each other for a month.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/01/26 10:27 AM
4

A lack of banter can come from many places. On dating apps, a lot of women give very dry responses and have minimal profiles (no bio, no prompts, etc), which doesn’t give us guys much to work with. So as a man, in those cases you often have to either start with polite small talk to get some material to work with, but that can come off as boring, or you start off with a flirty remark or one of those dumb pickup lines, which can come off as creepy. My girlfriend that I met on Bumble was different.…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/01/26 10:23 AM
5

A dog
/r/PurplePillDebate01/01/26 09:48 PM
–

Obviously there were discriminatory laws and social pressure. Nobody is denying that. But that's just oppression, not women as a class being literally removed from work and replaced my men. Most women still had to work because one income wasn't enough, they were just underpaid and constrained. I agree with everything you're saying, my only issue is that you're framing it as if large numbers of women were forced into the home. If that had been true then entire working-class families and below wou…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/01/26 04:28 PM
–

Right, got you, but even in the 1900s most women still worked, including both of my grandmothers and great-grandmothers. The housewife ideal was class-specific sold to a subset of the population that could afford it. I agree with you though that the provider narrative is completely made-up based on that minority of women who got to stay at home. I just don't see it as being "forced". I am sure my grandmother would have rather stayed at home than work 6x16 hour shifts at the factory per week, if …
/r/PurplePillDebate01/01/26 04:16 PM
–

Men forced women out of the workforce When? Lower and middle class women have always worked. From pre-agrarian societies, to subsistence farming, textiles, spinning, knitting, to the industrial age where literally the first workers were women. The coal mines had entire families working in them including women and kids. For 99 % of history 99 % of women had to work. The only ones who provided were the nobles, and they "provided" the land and the factories that they owned in which both men and wom…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/01/26 04:04 PM
4

If anyone is being dramatic here it's you. Invoking rape to shut down an argument is certainly a bit... alarmist. This is a gender debate subreddit, and in the comment you've replied to I have specified on three occasions that my goal is not to pressure anyone into dating someone they're not attracted to, I am simply addressing the social stigma around bisexual men. biological repulsion. It is not though. There is no gene in your body that makes anyone repulsed by men who've had sex with other m…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/01/26 03:15 PM
3

Joining the army or having many casual hookups is a voluntary lifestyle choice, though. If you have a body count of, say, 100+ people, then that would give an indication to a potential partner that you see sex as something casual, something you just do for the fun of it. Somebody who is waiting for marriage might be against that as it's an incompatibility in values. Same with your military example. It becomes with its own concrete downstream effects on daily life. Why risk it? Everyone can make …
/r/PurplePillDebate01/01/26 02:01 PM
2

You're either arguing in bad faith or completely missing what I'm saying. I'm not the love police. Yes: You don't have to date anyone you don't want to. Yes: You can be unattracted to somebody for any arbitrary reason. What is actually being discussed here is that the stigma by women against bisexual men is a learned social judgement against queer men. There is no legitimate reason why one would suddenly be turned off just by learning that a man is bisexual that doesn't fall under homophobia. An…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/01/26 01:43 PM
2

Attraction doesn't just die on its own though. Something kills it. In this case it's the culturally learned belief that bisexual men are less trustworthy, more promiscuous, or inherently unstable partners. That belief didn't come from your personal experience with this specific (hypothetical) man. Of course you can't consciously choose who you're attracted to. I'm not trying to convince you to get married to some bisexual guy. Neither do I want to shame anyone for any -sim. I'm trying to get you…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/01/26 01:33 PM
5

So now we've moved from "it's just preference" to "I don't trust this group of people"? Interesting. "Statistically more promiscuous" is nothing but a stereotype to justify your pre-emptive distrust of an individual you'd otherwise be attracted to. Straight men cheat plenty. Straight women cheat plenty. If your attraction dies because you assume a bi man is inherently less trustworthy just because he's bi then that's biphobia/homophobia. If I were to only fuck women for ONS and never enter a lon…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/01/26 01:04 PM
0

doesn't want to compete with both pussy AND dick. You're telling on yourself. A bisexual person's capacity for commitment doesn't magically double. They are either monogamous or they aren't. If you seriously believe that you constantly have to be worried about or compete with other people for your partner, you're insecure. Even with a straight man there is no possible way you could ever compete with 4 billion other women unless you intend on making your life a personal hell. If you met a woman t…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/01/26 12:48 PM
2

That's... not comparable at all. A dirty bathroom is a hygiene issue. Bisexuality isn't a mess or a fault in a person. If your attraction disappears only when you learn a man has been with other men, that's not just some random preference, but a value judgement about male-on-male sex being degrading or disgusting. And that's homophobia. You can obviously have any preference you want, but you don't get to pretend it's value-neutral when it's clearly built on stigma.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/01/26 12:00 PM
0

But it does. If a woman who is otherwise attracted to a man, suddenly loses all interest when she finds out that he is bisexual, what else does that make her? It’s not comparable to race at all, because his sexuality doesn’t change anything about him. What puts women off is the fact that the man has had dick. And this is homophobia.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/01/26 06:19 AM
1

I'm just saying, if "incel" just meant "currently not having sex" then that would describe kids, monks, widowers, people between relationships, stressed students, and teenagers. At that point it stops meaning anything useful. See disclaimer I'm not arguing semantics. According to the data, most people lose their virginities between 16 and 20. What this means is that being an 18-year-old virgin is common and statistically normal. It's not an outlier, and certainly not a reliable indicator of soci…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/25 06:48 PM
3

You are confusing the two. “Involuntarily celibate” is a descriptive state that every single human and animal falls in for longer or shorter periods of their lives. Being an incel is an identity/ideology built around entitlement to sex, and blaming women for it. Plenty of people who want sex and aren't having it exist without adopting that worldview. Getting laid isn't the top priority for every teenager.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/25 06:35 PM
6

We didn't agree on anything, you edited your comment long after I asked you to elaborate. An 18-year-old virgin who would like to have sex someday is not an incel in any meaningful sense. That's just... a teenage with hormones. Puberty is not a countdown timer for reproduction. Testosterone increases libido, yes, but not romantic skills, emotionaly maturity, social confidence, opportunity, etc. You ASSUME that all boys from age 12 onward are trying hard to get laid and that their failure must me…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/25 06:18 PM
4

The part where you think not having had sex before 17 or 18 makes you a red flag? What makes you think that?
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/25 05:57 PM
1

...Care to elaborate?
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/25 05:49 PM
1

Did you understand the question correctly? You think an 18 or 17 year old virgin is a red flag?!
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/25 05:11 PM
–

Fair enough. My bad.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/12/25 01:06 PM
2

It’s probably also in response to the provocative nature of the post. Statements like “I deserve so much better than the men I’m surrounded by” and “a REAL man wouldn’t be intimidated by my situation”. It just makes my eyes roll out of my skull. Maybe it actually has nothing to do with her being a single mother and more with her being so extremely entitled and belittling despite asking men for so much more to give. She has completely deluded herself.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/12/25 10:48 PM
1

It seems that you only read her first paragraph.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/12/25 10:36 PM
3

Nobody said resentment. While I don’t feel repulsed either, it’s understandable. Single mothers usually come with a lot of baggage, often another dude still in the picture, you’ll know fully you’re raising another man’s DNA, and most importantly, you’ll always be second place (or in OP’s example, 6th place). There are only disadvantages to dating a single mother. That’s why most men are very much against the idea.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/12/25 10:31 PM
2

That’s obviously the men’s fault. A REAL man would just do better and pick up a second job to provide for these single mothers who deserve everything.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/12/25 10:19 PM
2

Really? You’ve never had someone reveal a fact about themselves that made you realize that this person was completely incompatible with you? Knowing your boundaries and who isn’t right for you is very healthy in fact.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/12/25 10:05 PM
1

And you speak for every single woman out there? What if I told that I briefly dated a woman last year who actually complained that most men here don't seem to approach her here, while most men in Spain (where she visited) did?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/12/25 03:38 PM
5

Yeah I mostly agree with you and especially the first part. I don't think that most men are afraid of the rejection itself, but of being laughed at, shamed at -- or worst -- being labeled as a creep for even trying. Surely you've noticed that nowadays the dominant message is "women want to be left alone", so men who approach in public are seen as weird, even when done normal and respectful. So when a guy does take the risk and it doesn't land, it often gets reframed after the fact as "you should…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/12/25 03:25 PM
4

So is reacting with a wojak to everything you disagree with. Better?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/12/25 02:19 PM
8

So is reacting with a wojak to everything you disagree with.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/12/25 02:10 PM
8

That's just a casual idiom that means "calm down", as in implying that they were coming in too strong. Not sure what you're on about.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/12/25 02:00 PM
8

That part is obvious and I don't think anyone disagrees with that. The question I'm pushing on is when it's actually considered acceptable to initiate in the first place before any feedback exists to read the room. A lot of the advice you hear as a man collapses into "you should have known better", but only after the fact, when it's already clear the interest wasn't mutual. If the answer is genuinely that there is no universally good time, only better or worse contexts, that's fine, but then we …
/r/PurplePillDebate18/12/25 12:56 PM
4

I’m not trying to litigate anyone’s private opinions. People can think whatever they want in their own heads. I don't give a fuck. But we're on a debate subreddit, so on the territory of public discourse. There's a difference between "I personally found this interaction off-putting" and "this behavior is inherently deceptive/entitled/creepy, so now watch me go on a public rant about why men are bad." The first is subjective preference. The second turns a normal social risk into a character indic…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/12/25 12:48 PM
8

Easy there, tiger. I'm not saying I'm owed anything. If the message is "it depends on the person, timing, mood, context, etc." then the conclusion is that rejections and unwanted attempts at flirting are an unavoidable part of human interaction. What doesn't follow, but is often framed that way, is that men are deceptive, creepy, or entitled for daring to approach a woman that isn't interested. The wristband comment was very obviously sarcasm.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/12/25 12:37 PM
4

But what's the suggestion from this? Wear wrist bands based on which phase of your cycle you're in, so men know if you're in the mood or not?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/12/25 12:16 PM
1

Well, for me, I only used Bumble twice and it led to a relationship both times, so I can't concur with that advice. But also, I'm a bit traditional, so I waited with sex until we were exclusive and already had an emotional connection.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/25 05:42 PM
2

Survivorship bias. The decent men who are actually interested in a relationship are on there for a couple weeks at most, until they find their partner and delete the apps. The fuckboys and generally trashy men are on there most of the time.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/25 04:04 PM
11

What's womens other primary way of dating? EIP (Existing in public) until a man approaches them?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/25 03:59 PM
4

It's absolutely hilarious how the women here act like they'd be fine with it. Either they're a very tiny minority or they're lying. Any reasonable woman would laugh at your face and walk out if you suggested that.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/25 07:25 PM
4

Does that not apply to women as well?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/25 09:27 PM
1

What I meant is that it’s more accurately described as a tendency rather than an absolute rule.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/11/25 10:12 PM
6

Touché
/r/PurplePillDebate28/11/25 12:23 AM
6

Sure, but what hit me was that she was frustrated that most men she matched with weren’t attractive enough for her, while simultaneously chasing the minority of extremely good-looking guys who had no reason to commit, because they had an abundance of options. She was effectively stuck in a loop of aiming upward, even at the cost of being treated poorly, instead of matching with guys closer to her own league who would’ve probably treated her better. The hypergamy part is that she wanted the top 1…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/11/25 12:18 AM
1

It's not very shocking that people are into attractive people or that women are horny, you're right. But you need to see this from a man's perspective. Most of us grew up with the idealistic belief drilled into our heads (by women as well) that, if we want to find true love, we just need to be ourselves and women will naturally be drawn to us if we're kind, humble, erudite, etc. because women graciously distribute sex based on moral character and only moral character. Most people in society beli…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/25 11:19 PM
3

Although I don't recommend his idea, it's not entirely wrong either. If you're a man and still a virgin in your early to mid 20s you're inexperienced and probably shy when things get heated. This is massive turn-off for most women because they want the man to lead and to dominate them in bed. And I don't mean "dominate" like in some bdsm flick, but they want you to know what the fuck you're doing and to be assertive. Now I'm not saying to go out and sleep with a 300 lbs woman you don't have an o…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/25 09:22 PM
1

You hit the nail on the head.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/25 09:12 PM
26

I used to be a lot more blue-pilled but sometime last year, I was having a drink with a female friend after tennis practice. We were both single so were talking about each other's experience on dating apps. Then suddenly she starts venting about how most men on these apps are just so ugly and balding, etc. Mind you, she is definitely pretty, but maybe a 7 or 8 at most. She then tells me that the only few good-looking men on there get all of the women, and so she has to constantly deal with those…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/25 09:00 PM
–

When I was still training hard six days a week, I noticed that the women who gravitated toward me tended to share that same rhythm: people who shaped their days around the gym and generally put a lot of care and effort into their physial appearance. They are likely what most men and women would consider conventially attractive for obvious reasons. Life, however, isn’t a straight line. For health reasons I had to tone the intensity down, and as the weight came on and my definition faded, the atte…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/25 02:15 PM
1

Conservative men, in general, don’t believe that women shouldn’t be cautious around men. They just think that the general attitude that you mostly see online nowadays is painting an exaggerated image. Things like the bear argument, “believe all women”, “always a man” or the idea that non-verbal consent isn’t legitimate anymore. It’s gotten to a point where men have to be on their toes at all times to not potentially be seen as a creep or predator.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/11/25 11:37 AM
–

I’m not justifying or encouraging anyone being angry. I just said that I get it.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/11/25 10:46 PM
3

Agreed with the first sentence, but those stats are just wrong. At least in my age (25 y/o), most men that I know are single. Some struggle with dating, others have given up (temporarily), a few are in a long-term relationship since school or college. I don't know a single man that can date anywhere as easily and jump from relationship to relationship like my female friends do.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/11/25 07:47 PM
5

As far as I recall from my ecology class, intraspecific competition works a bit less lethal than that. Killing each other during same-sex rivalry, of course, does happen (like when male lions take over a pride), but is rather uncommon. It would simply be a terrible mating strategy if it would consistently kill off half of your own species. Instead, most mammals have instinctual rules of engagement. Like, Red deer clash their antlers or seals bluster and roar, while primates chase and grapple. A …
/r/PurplePillDebate20/11/25 07:42 PM
9

What are you even arguing against? Did you reply to the wrong comment or something?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/11/25 07:33 PM
3

I don't disagree with you. In fact, I kind of agree with OP's point. In the end, men who struggle with dating/getting laid are facing nothing but sexual selection. Of course, it's not a right to have people want you, because what are even rights from a naturalistc perspective? But every individual: man or woman wants to have someone that wants them. It's our biological need and necessity to want companionship, intimicy and to reproduce. It's not unreasonable to be angry when you eventually find …
/r/PurplePillDebate20/11/25 07:31 PM
4

Do women have legitimate reasons to be angry at men?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/11/25 07:26 PM
1

Nobody is beating their meat to a plastic doll getting gangbanged and yearning for a life with her.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/11/25 07:21 PM
3

Hahah I couldn't answer that because I have not slept with that many people. All I know is that there is a lot of men who act straight but are at the very least interested in gay sex. You'll usually find them on anonymous hook-up apps like Grindr, but I avoid that place for exactly that reason. I don't think I've ever received admiration or anything like that when I came out. Some of my more progressive college friends were like "oh, that's cool". My more conservative hometown friends and family…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/09/25 09:45 PM
–

So you agree then? To recap, my earlier claim was that, based on my own experience, a lot of women were opposed to dating a bisexual man based on his sexuality alone. If it’s due to biological nature or because of social conditioning, I don’t know, but(t) that was what I found, surprisingly even with some bi women.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/09/25 04:07 PM
–

Hilarious, but you’re proving my point that you dismissed as bullshit just now. When people think of bisexual men they immediately think of anal sex and them taking it up the ass which circles back to the reason as to why they see us as less masculine and as dirty or tainted. I’ve never received or gave anal sex because it’s just not very appealing to me at all. Bisexuality is simply the attraction to a person regardless of whether male or female. People often confuse that with kinks they associ…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/09/25 01:14 PM
–

I only said that this was also my experience as a bisexual man, adding onto the other guy’s story. Women aren’t a monolith and for those that were turned off by it it’s not seen as unethical. They just chalk it up to preference because they think that men who had sex with other men are tainted. A big factor is also social conditioning. Just a decade ago you’d still be called a fag if you did anything slightly feminine.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/09/25 01:00 PM
3

I’m an openly bi man and I’ve had sex with at least a handful of “straight” men who I wasn’t even interested in (because of their sexuality) but who kept pursuing me. There is definitely way more bi men out there than who’d ever like to admit it, even to themselves.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/09/25 08:37 AM
6

I have a gf by now who came to accept me but while dating this was exactly my experience as well.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/09/25 08:30 AM
12

And even then, do u know what the next question would ALWAYS be. "Were u a top or bottom" When that question was answered the follow up would always be... "...haha...yeah, I dunno how I would feel if u were a bottom..." That was exactly my experience as well on multiple occasions.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/09/25 08:28 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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