Fancy-Load-2928 Archive

Upvotes	Title	Category	Author	Subreddit	Date (UTC)

Upvotes	Comment on	Subreddit	Date (UTC)
1	Help my separated wife of two years is trying to make me stay with her after she’s been impregnated with another man’s child Just cause they have the child doesn't mean it can't have consequences for us, though!	/r/Divorce_Men	23/08/25 05:33 PM
1	Sex during separation/divorce The possibility of false accusations are the number one reason to not have sex IMHO. My STBXW initiated sex while we were kind of sort of giving our relationship one last chance. I told her no, because she was under the influence. I told her that I was open to it, but I needed to be sure that she was giving meaningful consent. I wasn't thinking about false accusations at the time. I was just being a gentleman. The next day, she did initiate whole not under the influence. A couple of days later, …	/r/Divorce_Men	23/08/25 04:36 AM
2	Is $25k for Retirement Reasonable? No one on Reddit can possibly answer that question. You need to ask a lawyer. A one hour consultation could save you from making some really big mistakes.	/r/Divorce_Men	23/08/25 04:26 AM
1	Help my separated wife of two years is trying to make me stay with her after she’s been impregnated with another man’s child When my STBXW told me she was going to date other men, I contacted a lawyer and asked how I could make sure I didn't end up paying for some other man's child. The lawyer told me to file for legal separation. So I told my wife that's what I wanted to do. She was shocked. She said she couldn't believe I thought that way. She said her mind didn't work like that. I would say that I'm proud of myself for not responding when she said that, but the truth is that I had no idea what to say. She's in her …	/r/Divorce_Men	23/08/25 04:20 AM
2	Help my separated wife of two years is trying to make me stay with her after she’s been impregnated with another man’s child Pretty sure that's not a woman-specific problem.	/r/Divorce_Men	23/08/25 04:14 AM
2	Need a little guidance Start by talking to a lawyer. Socking away funds might or might not be a good idea, depending on your state and situation. My lawyer advised me to not do that, but it's because my wife doesn't work. I have to support her as long as we're married, so moving money out of our shared accounts would just make me look bad. So yes, I'm paying for her to go out and date other men. She puts it on my credit card, and there's nothing I can do to stop her. But nobody said life is fair. (The lawyer did say t…	/r/Divorce_Men	23/08/25 04:10 AM
1	Cohabiting while she resumed an affair—starting mediation and trying to stay sane Be glad you dodged STDs. Assuming you did. I hope you did. If you're not sure, get a panel done. But seriously, you know what they say about sticking your d*ck in crazy. Those men are doing it. You're not. Be thankful for that. If your friends believe the smear campaign, they're not your friends. Find new friends. Better friends. They're out there. Can't help you there, since my kids are very young and don't even know what's going on yet. However, when it comes to triangulation in general, I've …	/r/Divorce_Men	23/08/25 03:55 AM
1	Emotional support I'm in the process of divorce, so I can't claim to have all the answers. I will tell you the thing that's helped me cope and fend off the panic attacks and anger. I tell myself that I can control my breathing. That's it. That's all I can control. I can't control what my wife does or says. I can't control the fact that she just lied for the thousandth time to our therapist. I can't control the fact that she just lied again to the child psychologist about me--literally while she's sitting right be…	/r/Divorce_Men	23/08/25 03:44 AM
2	Going through it There's a book called "Stop Walking on Eggshells." There's a workbook of the same name. In the workbook, there's a thought exercise. Stop for a moment, and before you read any further, close your eyes and think about the time that you were most happy with your spouse. When did you feel excitement? Love? What place or time or situation sticks out in your mind? Done? Good. If the situation you thought of happened before you married the person, then that's not the person you married. You married th…	/r/Divorce_Men	23/08/25 03:27 AM
3	Going through it Something else to keep in mind - since you're not living together you might end up on the hook for retroactive child support. I don't know if that's how it is in every state, but in mine you are responsible for child support from the date of separation--unless you're living together. My STBXW back dated our date of separation when she filed for divorce. Apparently she thought that she could get retroactive child support by doing that. The fact that we were (and still are) living together, and I'…	/r/Divorce_Men	23/08/25 03:20 AM
1	Might be getting divorced, but I want to buy a home… Let me get this right. Your suggestion is that he take his retirement money (which his wife presumably knows about) and them filter it through couple of LLCs, because you think his wife and/or a judge won't bother to look for it? I know that would be illegal in my state. Even if it's not illegal in his, of course his wife would want to know where the money went. My STBXW managed to sync my retirement accounts to some software. I have no idea how. She swears she "doesn't remember" how she did i…	/r/Divorce_Men	23/08/25 03:05 AM
1	Money Question Gonna throw out a hypothetical... Maybe she's worried that you won't like it if she starts offering to pay. Lots of men wouldn't. Or maybe she's oblivious. Maybe she's bad with math. Maybe Mom and Dad were rich or at least comfortable enough that she never had to think about swiping that credit card to pay for dinner. Or maybe she's an evil conniving witch. Who knows. Not me, that's for sure. Try talking to her, and see what happens!	/r/Divorce_Men	23/08/25 02:45 AM
1	Wwyd Talk to a lawyer, but I know in my state the things you described would piss a judge off. It's standard practice here to protect kids from meeting mom or dad's new lover(s). However you choose to handle it, keep the focus on the kids. That's what matters. A judge doesn't care if you're jealous (I'm not saying you are, I'm just saying that if they think that's what's driving your complaint then you probably won't get far). But a judge will care very much about children being exposed to your wife'…	/r/Divorce_Men	23/08/25 02:15 AM
1	How did the conversation start? My wife has been dysregulated since we married. We have two young children, but I felt like I was taking care of 3. I wasn't happy, but I didn't want to break apart our family. My wife and I did love each other, and our relationship was stable. Then, she suddenly spiraled. When I went back through our texts I realized the spiral started earlier than I realized, but then it was like a switch flipped. In a matter of days, it was like she was a different person. That wouldn't have caused me to leav…	/r/Divorce_Men	23/08/25 02:04 AM
1	5 years later and the ex is finally get a taste of real life I won't say which state I'm in, and I can't speak with confidence about how the state as a whole views BPD. I only know what my lawyer said. Remember, I'm not a lawyer, so I might be wrong! My understanding is that it's less about BPD and more about a parent ignoring something that can negatively impact their children. My wife said that she knows she has BPD traits, and that she might have BPD. She did plan to be evaluated. If she does have BPD, the fact that she voluntarily got evaluated and be…	/r/Divorce_Men	23/08/25 01:48 AM
1	Took the bait I've never been violent with my wife or anyone else. Then, a few weeks before filing for divorce, my wife and I were having a fight. I was sitting down, about 10 feet from her. I didn't move, yet suddenly she yelled something like, "Don't you dare lay a hand on me." I was really confused, and just said that I never had and never would. I saw where things were heading, and I contacted an attorney. I told him what happened, and he said she was baiting me. She had made a new "friend" who is a cop, …	/r/Divorce_Men	21/08/25 04:09 AM
3	Post Divorce Shower Thoughts It doesn't matter. Repeat that to yourself until you believe it...because it's true. What she chooses to do or not so has no effect on you. You can both live the life you want, so figure out what you want to be. Your life doesn't revolve around her anymore.	/r/Divorce_Men	21/08/25 03:59 AM
1	5 years later and the ex is finally get a taste of real life My wife (soon to be ex wife) and I were doing couples counseling. The subject of BPD kept coming up. My wife told me that she knew she had a problem, that she wanted help, and that she would be evaluated. We started working on a referral. Then a couples of weeks later, the couples counselor brought it up again. My wife said, "Everyone keeps trying to fix me, but I just want to live my life." She then denied that she had ever said she might have BPD, accused me of trying to control her, and impul…	/r/Divorce_Men	21/08/25 02:42 AM
1	5 years later and the ex is finally get a taste of real life IANAL but I'm pretty sure it depends on the state or perhaps the judge. I know that the state I'm in takes BPD seriously. It won't necessarily cost you custody, but it can if you refuse to be treated for it. A lot of it depends on who does the diagnosing, though. If it wasn't done by a psychologist who specializes in evaluating for personality disorders, then your ex can claim that the diagnosis was wrong. And your ex would have a valid point. In my state, a judge would order an evaluation from …	/r/Divorce_Men	21/08/25 02:33 AM
1	5 years later and the ex is finally get a taste of real life It depends on the diagnosis. An actual diagnosis of BPD is significant. Yes, BPD is one of those things that gets thrown around a lot (every woman has BPD, just like every man is a narcissist). But some people do have BPD, just like some people have NPD. And both disorders are a big deal. Both can have devastating effects on children.	/r/Divorce_Men	21/08/25 02:25 AM
1	5 years later and the ex is finally get a taste of real life I'm going through my first and hopefully only divorce, and my wife also has a lot of "advisors." The difference is that hers aren't broke. It's got my wife believing that I'll have to pay for whatever she wants, including a place for her to live once the divorce is finalized. She says, and I quote, "Alimony in our state is based on need. I need a place to live, so you have to pay for it." She might have a point if she, you know, worked. But she doesn't, and she isn't planning to. She says she wo…	/r/Divorce_Men	21/08/25 02:20 AM