~ archived since 2018 ~
~ archived since 2018 ~
| Upvotes | Title | Category | Author | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 21 | For people who are coupled: how many of these posts seem to be from people who just need better parents, aunties, uncles? | Discussion | Fancy-Statistician82 | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/01/25 10:19 PM |
| 10 | Lysistrata | Discussion | Fancy-Statistician82 | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/02/25 05:12 PM |
| Upvotes | Comment on | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
|---|---|---|---|
| – | What's the point of a penis if doing oral on it is considered coercive and misogynistic?I'd agree they don't sound straight. Or, if they are, they are so deeply traumatized or angry about something in their lives that they convey can't connect healthfully with their own sexuality. I'm a straight woman who routinely includes blow jobs as a loving staple in my marriage. It's like really lovely French kissing, it's tender and delightful. But the route to that confidence was, in fact circuitous. As a younger woman, I never had a bad, coercive experience with blow jobs, and I was clearl… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/04/26 03:27 PM |
| 1 | Why do women expect traditionalism in relationships?For the record, I almost never see this in real life. I think I had one friend from college who was kooky like that, judging guys that didn't pay or walk on the side towards the street. Nearly every woman in my neighborhood, my work experience, cousins, parents of my kids' friends, they all expect to work and contribute. I realized recently that right now I know an equal number of stay at home dads as moms. Now, some of these people are artsy and don't earn as much as an engineer, but some of th… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/10/25 04:58 PM |
| 7 | Do you basically use hookups to get with men who otherwise wouldn’t consider you?Do historical data points count? I was a bit wild back in the day but now twenty three years monogamous and loyal. Even more interested in sex now, but very much focusing it on the one guy I married. I don't recall ever leveraging sex to get romance, but I was a pretty clueless naive college kid, and always a pretty lusty person. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/07/25 05:37 PM |
| 5 | Lack of Romantic/Sexual Experience Stunts Social & Emotional Development in Young MenMy kiddos, now high schoolers, are required to interact across gender. As in, we support them in sport and hobby, and demonstrate how to be nice to older kids and younger kids, and make it clear that hobbies with all kinds of kids are cool. Specifically in part so they can learn to talk to other boys and girls. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/07/25 07:07 PM |
| 2 | It's very rich that women expect guys to make the first move at all times yet they should be under no obligation.As a parent of a high school aged boy, I've been very specific. If you want to have a grilled dinner with s'mores, how do you arrange that? Yes, you pick a date, you make an invite list, you make a grocery list, go shopping, prep the veg skewers. Anytime you want to do this I'm happy to fund and host it, but you need to be the big part of organizing it and doing the prep work, mkay? That's how this works. I try to be as transparent as possible about prepping family and holiday dinners etc. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/07/25 10:03 PM |
| 2 | It's very rich that women expect guys to make the first move at all times yet they should be under no obligation.Totes. All the progressive women I know are huge into having dinner parties and actively setting up singles. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/07/25 09:57 PM |
| 1 | Men being alone can be cured without enslaving womenI don't disagree. There's something very special and irreplaceable about romantic/sexual connection. I'm curious, though, why - if women without a romantic partner exist, and men without a romantic partner exist - why is the Internet all fussy about the men? There's roughly an equal number of men and women out there to be paired up or not paired up. What's the difference? Why has the idea of a single man who is lonely become an epidemic, but a single woman who is lonely is a classic spinster, no… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/07/25 02:04 PM |
| 1 | Men being alone can be cured without enslaving womenMy husband is an Eagle, so think Boy Scouts on steroids. Only about 6% of scouts earn their Eagle. Half of his six groomsmen were Eagles he grew up with. He still travels out of state annually to assist his home troop with their winter Derby to teach youngsters winter camping skills. So we're way in it. The local troop sucks. We tried. We attended for a year but the parents and kids are just meh. Outdoor skills, decent manners, attention span, interest in eating a balanced diet, none of it was p… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/07/25 01:54 PM |
| 3 | Men being alone can be cured without enslaving womenMy parents (and I) are quite feminist, and my dad (70's and retired) is part of a men's only horseshoes club. He has installed a beautiful pitch on his lawn. The guys have been meeting up weekly for a decade, they bring potluck food and drink and rotate between their homes. He's adorable about inviting my husband and our son to this male space. He's quite welcoming that we women can come learn horseshoes at other times of the week, but better be scarce during the shoes club. They make their own … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/07/25 01:40 PM |
| 2 | Men being alone can be cured without enslaving womenChildren are indeed a drag on adult friendships, this isn't a gendered experience. My dearest friend group (one man and three women, three of us married with kids) works hard to find times to get brunch or dinner. It revolves around the kids' needs. So we sometimes do kid centric things to remind us why we also try to schedule adults only dinners to "let our hair down". It can take weeks in advance to schedule a dinner. Sometimes we do something bigger, such as hiking to a cabin for a night, let… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/07/25 01:35 PM |
| 5 | The Overabundance of Male Validation Has Made Us DisposableI do see this as decent advice but I don't think it's actually a gendered issue. In many, if not most female social situations, it's practically a reflex to say "oh you look so good today" or something complimenting the shoes or hair. And some people are inauthentic about it, yet it is very expected. Or when someone cooks a meal for you, you find something nice to say, or if they show you their home for the first time, something nice to say. Now, this stuff is certainly more prevalent in some cu… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 06/04/25 02:58 PM |
| 2 | No one cares about “men checking out” other than anti-feminists.Feminist lefty checking in, I love men. The real life ones. The Internet ones sometimes give me some heebie jeebies, but the real life ones are pretty great. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 06/04/25 05:53 AM |
| 12 | Society should stop treating women as the victims when they're not, and men like victims when they areA few days ago there was a thread about that, one guy being upset about being told to put effort into cultivating friendships, feeling like that was mean somehow. Some men don't understand that since preschool age, it has been culturally normal for girls to be encouraged to put effort into friendships. To call, text, meet for tea and then buy matching bracelets and help comment on eachother's outfits, talk about feelings. My 14 year old son seems to be turning out to be a very traditional boy's … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 06/04/25 03:15 AM |
| 6 | No one cares about “men checking out” other than anti-feminists.I'm the mother of a son, the sister of my brother, cousin and neighbor and colleague and friend to many other men. I care about them and I want them to feel well and happy. Now, I do not see any of them even thinking about "checking out", so it's not real high in my priority list, but out is an issue I do care about. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 06/04/25 02:49 AM |
| 1 | Both sexes experience privileges that the other sex does not.Applied professionalism. Emergency medicine, both academic and community hospitals. The things they instruct, test us on and expect from colleagues require that at the very least in the workspace we acknowledge the unique needs of male and female patients based on the social complications that affect each and how they present and what they're at risk for and how society may make accessing care and follow-up difficult. Based on scientific method showing us that different demographics have differe… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/04/25 09:52 AM |
| 0 | Both sexes experience privileges that the other sex does not.Again, talking about a professional community about the nation of tens of thousands who accept all these articles as canon. The professional space embraces feminism and male specific concerns as both important. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/04/25 05:53 AM |
| 9 | how much internalized shame do you think you experienced from purity, sexual, and ect expectations?This is huuuuge. Guys do not really understand the degree to which women's sexuality is suppressed by externally applied shame. Young women (girls really) get these messed up messages about their bodies feeling normal sexual things but it's either dirty and bad, or it's some kind of promise to always take the bra and panties off. So everything feels conflicted and mixed up. And just the minute you're starting to feel good and strong, you get a frightening experience. I was wearing boy shorts and… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/04/25 05:18 AM |
| 1 | Whats the true minimum?You discount the experience of all the men I know who work in regenerative farming, forestry, botany, ministry, education, who have devoted their lives to "lefty" stuff? I find them hot. Apparently most women do. Please explain how it is not mean or cruel to exclude people (including young people) from safe bathrooms, to end support of their expectation of marriage and parenting rights. It's horrible for a 14 year old to know they are queer (and most do by that age) and know that their adults do… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/04/25 04:05 AM |
| 0 | Both sexes experience privileges that the other sex does not.They may be convincing people in your corner of the Internet, but I assure you it isn't flying in the professional real world space occupied by feminists and progressives. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/04/25 01:56 AM |
| 1 | Whats the true minimum?I don't doubt that you have your own lived experience, but mine is also authentic. My (cis-het, married to my mom fifty years this summer) father volunteers on occasion for a local farming cooperative that has at its core a mission to encourage indigenous and immigrants to recapture and support farming practices and culture. I'm not blood relative to any people who are trans or gay, but absolutely all my family including men use requested pronouns and have for a decade, and they support friends … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/04/25 01:54 AM |
| 2 | Whats the true minimum?I quirk my eyebrow in your general direction. The politics I support are very much pro- man. Every guy I know right now is quite upset about their 401k, the ones in the age bracket are anxious about their social security, and I know many federally employed men who've already lost their jobs. Most of the Foresters, Rangers and botanists that I know happen to be men. Most of them married, hard to believe that any of them are faking their career or retirement strategies. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/04/25 01:13 AM |
| – | "Red pill" men really just want approval from the same women they complain aboutBoth. People are affected by the way they are treated, particularly in the formative adolescent and young adult years. This is true both for men and for women. In a way, we all create our own hellscape. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/04/25 09:25 PM |
| 2 | Both sexes experience privileges that the other sex does not.Thanks, that's a kind compliment. I think it's less common on the Internet. In real life, it's easier to find connections and be nice instead of thinking of people as their caricature. Internet feminists can be just as nutty as Internet incels, like two sides of a coin. In real life, though, I spent my entire childhood, education, friendships, dates with all the guys, professional training, work, ongoing required education being around people who describe themselves as somewhere in the feminist … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/04/25 01:46 PM |
| 1 | Both sexes experience privileges that the other sex does not.Both! For sure. The things I see the male PAs and Drs do in order to try to ameliorate their height and size, to become less threatening. While I have an easier time just cuddling right on in. I'm nearly 6' tall though, so I get the best of both worlds. I can loom, I've always got a lot out of looming when someone is acting the fool, or I can sink my height by standing hipshot and be a nonthreatening old woman. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/04/25 05:44 AM |
| – | What are your sexual fantasies?This is overall pretty hostile. As in, I'm a fan of men, I like mine quite a lot and I want the rest of y'all to have success, so feel the hopeful auntie energy coming through as I request that you reverse the genders in your post, then read it out loud and see what it looks like to call an entire gender sneaky, manipulative, and dishonest. Not a great way to win fans and repeat dates. This isn't a sex subreddit, it's not the appropriate place to ask women what their kinks are. I will invite the… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/04/25 05:29 AM |
| – | What are your sexual fantasies?This post is everything. I'm wheezing with laughter, and it's all true. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/04/25 05:18 AM |
| 3 | Both sexes experience privileges that the other sex does not.Utterly disagree. As a lifelong feminist, surrounded by male and female feminists. I'll agree that there are some fringe people in every movement that howl loudly on the Internet, but they do not represent the real majority. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/04/25 03:41 AM |
| 4 | Both sexes experience privileges that the other sex does not.I think every human on the planet who has something privileged doesn't really see it until it gets taken. I was in late high school the first time I really truly understood this in the wild (yes a very privileged lucky upbringing). I was with my dad at a community fairground, trying to move through a crowd to get back to the rest of our family. As a young woman, it's more acceptable for me to weave through and brush against people, my dad was falling behind because he needed to give more persona… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/04/25 03:34 AM |
| 12 | Both sexes experience privileges that the other sex does not.There's also quite a bit of space between "oppression" and parity. I definitely lean into female privilege sometimes, I am certain it makes it easier for some patients to open up and trust when I'm radiating mom vibes. And I'm not above using that to hush a rowdy drunk by whispering with him, etc, or try to inspire someone to be brave while I set a fracture. On the other hand, not ten years ago I was in a departmental meeting in a small hospital, and the formal meeting minutes were typed up and … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/04/25 03:23 AM |
| 9 | Both sexes experience privileges that the other sex does not.feminists and progressives, and you'll get laughed out the room. Not at all true. Many of these exact studies were reviewed as part of core in my medical training, in a very progressive and feminist community. They are taken as canon. It's taught from the beginning that much of men's excess mortality has to do with society's pressure for them to do more dangerous work in the expectation of being a provider. The reason we are told they present late to care for diagnosis and treatment isn't "men a… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/04/25 02:44 AM |
| 13 | What do you think is going through the mind of a man whose baby passed a paternity test?My post says he told her about it when they were dating. At the end of the pleasant evening I would politely pay my half of the meal, and explain that this isn't going to work out. I'm not going voluntarily sign up for a life of making parenting and financial choices with someone that doesn't plan to start with a foundation of trust. If he plans to need paternity testing, will he also need an accounting of every nickel I earn or spend? A text every hour that I'm out with old friends or visiting … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/04/25 02:06 AM |
| 10 | What do you think is going through the mind of a man whose baby passed a paternity test?Internet friend, how does the way you phrased this and introduced capslock help to prove any point other than your own lack of control? Auntie energy here, I want you and all the other young men to go forth and be successful romantically. Is it possible to calmly consider that being open to another viewpoint might be wise? Just as we teach the young to be kind and honest with their friends, we teach young men and women who are dating to try to be respectful and trustworthy and trusting. Women or… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/04/25 01:58 AM |
| 0 | Men are entitled to paternity tests but not relationships.It's not a tit for tat thing. Paternity testing does not establish fidelity. It does suggest insecurity, unless it's openly clear that there are multiple possible fathers. If he has decent reason to suspect infidelity, they have way bigger conversations to have regardless of the result. I mean, yes, do the test, but also sleep separately and put the relationship on pause until you've fully sorted out what was going on to raise the suspicions. If he is the father, that doesn't fix whatever made h… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/04/25 01:43 AM |
| 10 | What do you think is going through the mind of a man whose baby passed a paternity test?The issue is that the paternity test doesn't at all prove fidelity. It proves paternity. That's it. Many unfaithful people continue to be sexually active with their home partner, and there are ways to organize who is providing semen to the right place at the right time. If he has reason to believe she's unfaithful, that needs to be explored, no matter the result of the paternity test. Nothing has been solved. Unless they are open about having sex with multiple possible fathers already, then it m… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/04/25 12:05 AM |
| 3 | Would a stigma-free, normalised sex work industry reduce how many men participate in dating?Thank you for teaching me! Your perspective is valuable and I had never heard of a vacuous truth. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/04/25 10:17 PM |
| 1 | How often do you encounter a man you're attracted to?Aww, that's kind. Have you not had that formative experience of being transgressed upon? It does change the way you see the world. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/04/25 10:15 PM |
| 1 | Whats the true minimum?Part of why we wanted it was to use as a camper, put a pop-up tent in the back. Twenty years ago we had a Vanagon. It would be cool to have a vehicle that is roomy enough to sleep in the truck bed, and also use as a battery for a little cooktop, etc. We have an older ATV and a smallish tractor that have been filling the needs for now. I imagine the tech will continue to improve and in a handful of years when we replace them we can go electric. We took the kids on road trip this past summer, a to… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/04/25 10:12 PM |
| 1 | You probably should start caring about a woman’s careerI largely agree. DEI is rolled out in haphazard, spotty ways and trails behind the upcoming needs. In many ways that's unavoidable, though. Currently it's still responding to generations of overrepresented white men feeding into the workforce and trickling up until most CEOs, partners, politicians are that way. Yes, the trends have massively shifted towards other kinds of graduates and thirty years in the future we will see the result. Future DEI should indeed adapt. It will never be perfectly c… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/04/25 07:30 PM |
| 6 | You probably should start caring about a woman’s careerPart of the reason we selected the expensive preschool we did was the presence of some male teachers. And into elementary, same. More men are choosing to not matriculate, and then once they do they are failing at higher rates than women. I believe it's important to both look into this and also accept that guys may honestly prefer a different pathway, and design ways for that to be successful. I really do appreciate that my husband has bigger muscles than me, and also that he has more "restlessne… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/04/25 05:22 PM |
| 4 | You probably should start caring about a woman’s careerHow can the world assist these guys? How can we make it more clear that a woman who has her life well sorted, is probably going to be a more reliable and enduring partner? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/04/25 05:03 PM |
| 3 | Whats the true minimum?.... Okay. This no longer feels like a good faith discussion, you have very clearly made your mind up and are using repeatedly blanket perjorative language (example: calling women bleating clowns). That's fine, you have your perspective, and you are creating the life you live in. Seems as though it's less likely to include an honest straight relationship. Edit/ my husband is a dual citizen, born in the USA 50 odd years ago but also has birthright citizenship to Germany through his parents. My un… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/04/25 04:36 PM |
| 2 | Whats the true minimum?Very earnestly, let's talk about this. What do you mean about men enduring women's politics? Do you think this is new or long-standing? Do you think that for a long time men have embraced certain kinds of politics just to placate women or get access to sex? ... At the larger scale, the very large majority of politicians in control are male, do you suppose that somehow women are in control? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/04/25 05:13 AM |
| 1 | Whats the true minimum?They are recognizable. There are certain lines that are brightly shining. When the young men I work with or know by being friends with my teen kids or my relatives, I'm excited to hook them up, set them up, create cute BBQs for "warm" approaches to help get them connected. When they prioritize ... let's just say it, cutting DEI as a buzzword was never something I thought hard about before but now it's a pretty decent filter. If you think that's bullshit to cut away I'm not introducing you to my … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/04/25 05:06 AM |
| 2 | Whats the true minimum?Thx | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/04/25 04:54 AM |
| 3 | Whats the true minimum?And, way to dodge the main question. Why is it "reasonable" for a woman to have a preference about height, finances, hobbies, but not politics? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/04/25 03:24 AM |
| 2 | Whats the true minimum?Ha, we were really early interested in all electric, have a huge groundbased PV system etc, our whole house is electric, there's no gas or oil. And we do some hobby homesteading so a pickup truck would actually be useful ... we put money into one of those reservations for a cybertruck back before it was clear what was really going on, way before pandemic, before it was clear how poorly they were made. Not getting it anymore. It's a shame. We have a performance model 3 from the before times and w… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/04/25 02:02 AM |
| 1 | Whats the true minimum?I've had several interesting conversations with people that disagree with me politically. Heck I've had my family share a beach house for a few nights with an old friend of my husband's, we all got along quite well, very pleasant, mostly circled away from politics. I know he doesn't feel the same as my husband and I. I don't think he doesn't deserve his opinion, but I cannot in good conscience recommend a man to date a friend if I know he values short sighted tax breaks over reproductive freedom… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/04/25 01:51 AM |
| 5 | Whats the true minimum?Neh, I've uncles, aunts and cousins who vote this way, a groomsman from our wedding. I don't see them as caricatures, I don't not talk to them. But neither are they people I would sleep with or recommend to a friend for such. Fine to recommend them for lunch or a hike, not for sex or dates. There are some lines that are just too far. For dating, I can compromise on cilantro, fish, sports (sort of), a decent variety of music, maybe movies, a wide variety of travel, and up to a few hours per week … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/04/25 01:44 AM |
| 6 | Whats the true minimum?That's already being recorded in other polls. It's not actually common to be "4B" or completely celibate - women have needs. But increasingly we read about men hiding or prevaricating about their political leaning to get a date, and once the facts come out they get jilted. Be honest and open hearted about it. Try to understand why these topics are important to women, rather than faking it. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/04/25 11:19 PM |
| 3 | Whats the true minimum?... Hey friend, let's talk about your word choice there and what it reveals. women surprisingly reasonable except for politics. Perhaps consider that, as intelligent rational persons, we tend to care about things that affect us and this we vote accordingly, and feel safer, stronger, sexier with people who share our values. I married a man who feels more private/libertarian than I do about certain politics and norms around making addresses, tax information known. There are plenty of topics I can … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/04/25 11:01 PM |
| 2 | “Decentering” is really just “centering” resentment of the other genderWell I agree that people are defining words however they like, it's a hazard of a living language. I'm just over here trying to keep up with the slang my teenagers use. While it's good to appreciate how others are using the words, I think it's fine to push back a bit, to poke at their motivations and maybe try to increase empathy and decrease the black/white thinking. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/04/25 08:46 PM |
| 1 | How often do you encounter a man you're attracted to?dont want to step out their comfort zone to get the attention of the attractive man. I do want to also say, that often I don't want the attention of the attractive man. I feel the attraction, but I don't want the attention. As in, nearly every time I notice something attractive and lovely about another person, it goes through a process. First I notice, I savor it, I think oh how lovely humans are, and I sure hope that person has someone in their life that really appreciates that. Then I think to… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/04/25 08:40 PM |
| 0 | Whats the true minimum?Assume all men are spergs and spell it out for us please. What's a sperg? Minimum height. I've dated shorter than me, this isn't a filter. Minimum fintness level. This is a filter. Hikes, eats at least 50% vegetables, cares about himself. My husband doesn't visit the gym or really do any specific strength training, but he feels a need to take an hour long walk over broken or hilly ground every day in every weather, and finds excuses to pick up things in the yard and house all the time, so he's f… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/04/25 08:28 PM |
| 3 | How often do you encounter a man you're attracted to?I'm in medicine, so I'm often all up in people's personal space right after learning their name. The "code switching" is crazy. I can closely embrace a college footballer to reduce a dislocated shoulder, no sex radar ping despite all the muscles. Then I go back to the charting space and back to my normal self, and my colleague's dry humor gives me that "gosh you have a lucky wife!" vibe. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/04/25 08:03 PM |
| 0 | “Decentering” is really just “centering” resentment of the other genderNaw. Though it seems trite and trendy and therefore annoying, the word "decenter" is actually great. It doesn't mean "totally stop being interested" or "replace with resentment". It means, pull this one priority off to the side of center, put some of that energy into your other goals a bit, career and friendships for their own sake. Keep the focus of getting a relationship on the simmer setting for a few months instead of the main heating element. No need to be extreme. Chillax. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/04/25 07:53 PM |
| 1 | Why men are usually against decentering relationshipsFemale friendships tend to be deeper, more intimate, more fulfilling. All in all, decentering women requires effort on men's part, hence the resistance and aversion. I don't disagree at all. Buuut, I need to bring up what that means. Female friendships are deeper, more intimate and more fulfilling because since preschool we are told to put effort in. We work very hard on all this. Guys realizing that they need to actually put work in is important, but it's not unfair. I'm glad you are aware of i… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/04/25 06:16 PM |
| 2 | How often do you encounter a man you're attracted to?You don't ever experience a little private turn on? A little moment of wetness that you carefully don't acknowledge because it doesn't pass the brain test? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/04/25 05:36 PM |
| 1 | How often do you encounter a man you're attracted to?I heard the TikTokker as being even more cut off (and out of fascination I watched some of her other vids, she's pretty awful). I do know several people who feel they are demisexual and honestly feel no sexual response until they have that intellectual and emotional connection. But I think most women feel moments of lust, particularly if they feel safe. As though acknowledging that the guy is hot doesn't equate to consent to actually have sex. That's actually where the fun part comes in, making … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/04/25 05:28 PM |
| 5 | How often do you encounter a man you're attracted to?I personally add eloquence to the list. Absolutely. Manner of movement, speech, the timbre of the voice, a degree of passion for something important, those all make the list. When I was single, noticing those things was how I started opening up towards a possible new lover, but it didn't seal the deal. It's just the things that draw my eye and could convince me to seek interaction with them, which open the door for the development of romantic/sexual interest. I think we're in the same place - it… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/04/25 05:13 PM |
| 4 | How often do you encounter a man you're attracted to?My mother's mother was an outrageous flirt. Some of it was the whole southern debutante, wife of a navy officer whose job it was to throw dinner parties, deeply ingrained habit to compliment people. But she was also a lusty woman, my mother is one of six dearly loved children. She was deeply in love with and faithful to my grandfather, but she always had time for a mischievous and slightly risque compliment. Few people, male or female, got past her without some type of admiration for either roma… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/04/25 04:56 PM |
| 52 | How often do you encounter a man you're attracted to?Gosh I'm surprised to read these responses. Maybe I just define it differently but as far back as I can recall, since I became aware of attraction around the time of puberty, every single day of my life I've noticed people I found attractive. I mean, not to the degree to overcome my brain or sabotage my relationship, I'm a monogamist. But I have always walked through life with that inner monologue that says damn those are amazing eyes or wow those are a very very fine set of shoulders and yikes … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/04/25 04:22 AM |
| 8 | Would a stigma-free, normalised sex work industry reduce how many men participate in dating?(take this all as very genuine, earnest interest, no gotcha here - I'm not from the UK and also I've been monogamous for twenty years, I'm here trying to learn about what world my teenagers are getting into, same as I would study parents whose kids were 5 when mine were 3, thank you for your opinions) So interesting! Do you feel comfy speaking openly about it with your guy friends? Gal friends? Family? Does it feel safe in terms of STI? I've long felt that a big problem these days is people stuf… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/04/25 11:14 PM |
| 2 | I think there needs to be reforms in the paternity systemI'm so very much excited for and in support of various male contraceptive. At the same time, I'm surprised at my own emotional reaction. As in I'm intellectually in support, but trying to imagine trusting a guy on it, it just seems difficult. And I hope that's only the product of me spending my reproductive years always being on the hook. I'm perimenopausal now and married for decades, so my whole life it's been me taking pills, rings, IUD, measuring my cervical position and fluid consistency to… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/04/25 04:59 PM |
| 1 | I think there needs to be reforms in the paternity systemThe mother has several months to decide to abort it if she doesn't want to pay for it. Entirely untrue in many states. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/04/25 02:53 PM |
| 2 | I think there needs to be reforms in the paternity systemThis one is interesting - male thermal contraception | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/04/25 02:50 PM |
| 5 | I think there needs to be reforms in the paternity systemEarnestly. I do understand the desire to have things be equal, halvsies. That's fair and just. But in this case it's not physically possible. There is no way for the physical investment of a pregnancy to be equal. I wish that were possible. It's not. Since it's not, someone gets the final deciding vote on what happens, and it's going to be the pregnant woman. As a feminist, I would far prefer for the world to allow uninterested fathers to walk away unincumbered, but until we vote into place a go… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/04/25 02:48 PM |
| 2 | Liberal women often increasingly critical of men who voted democrat in the recent U.S. presidential election?100% of the young women and middle aged women around me who are dating are exclusively dating progressives, most often progressive men. Their libido didn't die, it's just a little shocky. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/03/25 09:08 PM |
| – | The real reason behind the male loneliness epidemic is that there are more happily single women than menMy generation has been more like 0, 1 or 2 kids per family, but my dad was one of 7 that survived to adulthood and my mom one of 6, so we have lots of family examples. On my dad's side we have some cousins that chose to never marry, and for example one leads a merry life with her vacations with her college friends. She's mid fifties and seems quite content and successful living alone. In my mom's side, two of her brothers didn't have long term relationships, now one of those two had probable cer… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/03/25 05:00 AM |
| – | The real reason behind the male loneliness epidemic is that there are more happily single women than menPersonally, I think MGTOW can be grand. If an individual guy feels really good about being on retreat, pursuing his hobbies and interests and career, that's great. Maybe it's a short term thing, maybe it's a longer term thing. I don't feel good about the subset of guys who are saying nasty things about women. And I know it's not all, but it would be nice if men would repudiate the nasty ones. And exactly the same for women. Some women prefer to be coupled and some single. We shouldn't make comme… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/03/25 04:38 AM |
| – | The real reason behind the male loneliness epidemic is that there are more happily single women than menI have an uncle who never married, or even dated as far as his very nosy and close knit rural community with a town population of 969 souls can tell. He farms a thousand acres of feed corn and soy. One of his three sisters was widowed in her early fifties, and moved back to the family home with him and they've made it family. She has been doing most of the cooking for him and his hired hands on the farm, and they collaborate for community holidays and church things. They have community connectio… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/03/25 04:29 AM |
| 1 | Stop saying "just be yourself" to menProduce one woman who wants a man who says "women don't mean well", and finds that attitude attractive. Try to wrap your head around imagining that being true. It's a fundamental sign that someone is dealing with an internal block, if they both deride and desire something. Pick a lane, get yourself sorted out. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/03/25 01:00 AM |
| 0 | Stop saying "just be yourself" to menBreathe. Take a breath. Pause. Read it again while trying to hold back preconceived notions. Make space in your head for people to come from a third direction, not directly opposed to you or from the same place as you. Women and men do things for very idiosyncratic reasons, and most of them are indeed empathetic and caring and trying to do well by other people. People who make blanket statements that one gender doesn't mean well by another, are going to do poorly in the dating market. It's to th… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/03/25 10:40 PM |
| 3 | Why Men Need to Recalibrate Their Sex Drive: Breaking Free from the Skewed Game of ValidationThis is all totally weird, given the historical and ongoing situations around arranged marriages and "asking her father's permission", dowries and whatnot. The concept of women having some input into who they mate with is very recent. Child brides are still a thing and some states are pushing legislation to reinforce it. Therefore, yes women are going to take their time, and should. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/03/25 08:28 PM |
| 0 | Stop saying "just be yourself" to menOooh, find those words actually from me ... because they don't exist. I asked if he likes women, which is a far cry from hating them. Big sigh. Ok, starting over with a genuine fresh chance, open mind. Please help me to understand what specific point he had beyond "women don't wish you well" (I'm going to go back and edit to actually paste in his words). Edit/"their goal isn't usually to help" I will take a fresh start and engage with whatever else you find. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/03/25 08:12 PM |
| 1 | Stop saying "just be yourself" to menI did. In quotes. His statement was that women "aren't there to help". He's voting himself off the island, or however you phrase it these days. People who have already decided it's pointless are difficult to help. This is true for men and women alike (yes I am stating that there are women and men who are difficult). Some women are not open and not into it. Some men are not open and not into it. Those folks aren't good to be in relationships with. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/03/25 08:05 PM |
| 12 | What do men mean when they say they love deeper than women?I can't upvote this hard enough. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/03/25 05:21 PM |
| 3 | "just be confident" is a shallow advice for menI agree that everyone would want it to be that easy. But for the vast majority of things in the world, it's a bit more like being a duck - you look like you're gliding smoothly on the water but really there's a lot of hidden paddling work going on under the surface. That's how fitness works, that's how academics works, that's how dressing and grooming works. And really, that's how relationships work. Lots of hidden effort, to look effortless. That sounds dire, but the truth is that once you get … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/03/25 04:06 PM |
| 1 | Stop saying "just be yourself" to menSo I'll agree that all of politics is pretty fucked up. But one party is worse than the other. One group is trying to murder student loans (conservatives) that might help a young man better himself. One group (conservatives) is mangling SNAP and Medicaid that might help a young man make ends meet while he gets a foothold in a job. One group (MAGA) is doing bizarre things with immigrants and tariffs such that food prices, etc, and all our retirement accounts and stocks are tanking. Not good for y… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/03/25 02:31 AM |
| 2 | Why do red pillers continue to push the sperm is better than uteruses argument?I'm no expert, this place has been my education in redpill and whatnot, but yes I'd agree that the redpill people ... Ok maybe it's people who describe themselves as redpill but not all redpill people want to be associated with them ... are just nuts about this. Seeing people as automatons driven by gender, without individuality. It's been wild to read. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/03/25 02:14 AM |
| 0 | Stop saying "just be yourself" to menThe cultures that encourage men to be able to be artists and stay at home fathers (progressive) are not the same as the ones that demand men only be sole providers and have no other function (conservative). | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/03/25 01:00 AM |
| 2 | Why do red pillers continue to push the sperm is better than uteruses argument?My dad always used to say "we people think we are rational beings with some emotions, but actually we are emotional beings who sometimes can be affected by rational thoughts". He wasn't wrong. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/03/25 12:56 AM |
| 2 | Do dating apps work for womenBoost this message. We understand that it's a tiny fraction of guys that act this way, but the stakes are so high that they fuck it up for all other guys by making gals understandably skittish. We all have had this experience or know someone close who has. Please guys, when you are talking with your guy friends away from woman, viciously aggressively shut this shit down. The few guys that do this stuff poison the well for everyone. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/03/25 11:11 PM |
| 6 | Would you date a trans man that passes well?Difficult to say. I'm super into dick, even more important to me than publicly passing as male. I know that some people who are transmasc choose to have surgery that is designed to allow penetrative sex. But it's complicated and not always successful and that's why many don't choose to have it. I mean, we are talking about some 1% of the population, and of those 1% about one in five choose to have "bottom surgery". ... I happen to live in a very progressive, trans friendly community, where peopl… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/03/25 11:01 PM |
| 0 | Stop saying "just be yourself" to menMove to a progressive city. :). It's worth it. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/03/25 10:48 PM |
| 1 | Stop saying "just be yourself" to menReality is concerning. Not for you but for me. Again, do you actually like women? This stuff is very concerning. I'm a mom of a teen boy, and a teen girl. I'm a person who is loosely friends with several twenty somethings. I want all of those people to feel good about themselves and have relationships that make them happy. If the male ones really think that women are like that, I'd cut them off, that's horrid. Fortunately, that's not my real experience at all, they see women generally as normal … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/03/25 10:05 PM |
| 3 | Stop saying "just be yourself" to menWomen don’t admit to giving bad advice if it has worked for them. They just do it and then claim they never did or try to excuse the times they did Also their goal usually isn’t to help. It’s basically to get men to think they have an answer so they stop talking about it and being angry to make these women feel more comfortable ... I don't know anything else about you, but these blanket statements about what women do and think and have as their goals is concerning. Do you actually like women? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/03/25 08:46 PM |
| 4 | Why do red pillers continue to push the sperm is better than uteruses argument?I agree very much, about the gendered posts being taken as divisive when they can actually feel like a trauma bond for survivors of both genders. The experience isn't identical, but it's similarly shitty. Notice that my post is being downvoted. I don't care for myself, but it's a measure of a certain subset of men who can't feel empathy for women. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/03/25 08:37 PM |
| 1 | Why do red pillers continue to push the sperm is better than uteruses argument?But the reality of identity, of relationship, of sexual fulfillment - it's way more than just semen. Peacocks and other seasonally mating animals, it makes some sense to reduce males to their competitive mating display. Not so much for humans, when the vast majority of sex isn't procreative, it's recreational/ bonding. With all of my sexual partners until my husband, I was actively trying to prevent pregnancy, I was trying to avoid the semen of a fertile male and preferring a person who is humor… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/03/25 07:11 PM |
| 6 | "just be confident" is a shallow advice for menThe comment I have for this comes out of spending a decade reading up on how to raise confident kids, it's not gender specific. But it is evidence based about how to prevent development of generalized and social anxiety disorders, so it seems relevant. As a parent I encourage my boy and girl to choose small things that feel like a bit of a reach, and try them. It doesn't matter whether or not they are actually risky, it matters whether the kid finds it intimidating. Then I back away and let them… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/03/25 05:44 PM |
| 9 | Are most women standoffish because that is their nature or is it a social construct?In the last few years, I got some crows feet around my eyes and a new pair of glasses that are half Harry Potter and half Granny. And entered perimenopause. And can I tell you it has been fantastic! I feel so much more free to talk to and compliment strange men at the grocery, or the cafe or a dance. I feel like less of a target, or concerned that I'm somehow offering something I don't want to offer. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/03/25 04:39 PM |
| 0 | Why do red pillers continue to push the sperm is better than uteruses argument?Obesity, but phthalates and other plasticizers, and certain pesticides such as atrazine. They're estrogenic. Micro plastics are everywhere now, even in amniotic fluid and newborns. Rates of hypospadias are increasing among Western men. This is a particular congenital penile deformity where the development goes toward being male but gets partially blocked. Cleveland clinic. In the wild we are even seeing frogs being feminized. Scientific American on plastics and sperm motility and testosterone le… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/03/25 04:32 PM |
| 2 | Why do red pillers continue to push the sperm is better than uteruses argument?I think this clarity can actually be a huge way to bring men and women together, to empathize with each other about the human experience. Because while it's not identical, it's symmetrically painful to be raised as a woman. I was told constantly growing up that if you aren't tall, rich, and attractive, you don't get girls and you don't deserve love. If you aren't pretty, and dressed right, and demure, and standing one half step behind a man applauding him, you don't get a man and you don't deser… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/03/25 04:07 PM |
| 2 | Why do red pillers continue to push the sperm is better than uteruses argument?Sperm counts.) have declined by 59% over the past 40 years. Male factor infertility is in a bit of a global crisis, and they need to learn how to talk about it. But ability to conceive a child without medical assistance was about twelfth on the list of interesting things for me when in the sexual marketplace. Not even top ten. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/03/25 03:28 PM |
| 6 | Why do red pillers continue to push the sperm is better than uteruses argument?This is so bleak. Do red pill men really see themselves as starting by having only the value of their semen? I just don't recall any time in my life when I thought about boys or men in such a reductive way. Even back in middle school it was about their humor, their dance style, ability to sing, willingness to go get pizza and talk smack about the teachers. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/03/25 03:06 PM |
| 2 | Would you wait for a man for a man who said he wasn’t ready for sex, or would you simply break up with him?I should provide context that one was in high school and one in college, and this was twenty years ago. I don't know if the usual process for adults is now different, but I would hope that the species of humans is mostly the same. Even with the man I married we had a slow rollout over a few months. I think it really improved the quality of the penetrative sex because by the time we stuck it in there, we already trusted and knew each other's bodies and reactions and how to make it feel great. I'm… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/03/25 06:51 PM |
| 25 | Would you wait for a man for a man who said he wasn’t ready for sex, or would you simply break up with him?In sum, it's complicated. I'd talk to him about it first. To figure out why. It's not that it's wrong to want to roll it out slow. I did have long, loving, meaningful relationships that didn't include penetrative sex, but they surely included very sparkly taking care of each other's pleasure with pants off. Two of those non penetrative sex relationships lasted a year each and were very fulfilling, tender relationships with plenty of all the emotional stuff and also frequent orgasms, but we weren… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/03/25 06:18 PM |
| 1 | There is a selection effect at play which superficially bolsters red-pill theoriesPersonally, I believe that much of attraction is cultural - think how the Victorians freaked over an exposed ankle or the Japanese about painted white lines along the neck, or which cultures value thiccness over being muscular or thin. This means that every study is by definition slightly out of date, or slightly not locally valid. Nevertheless I agree with you that there are biological differences, but the bell curve is wide and the overlaps are important. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/03/25 03:38 PM |
| 1 | gender pay gap, and societal pressure in gender rolesQuery: where did you get the race topic from? Statement: I'm married to a European citizen (dual American). For twenty years, many if not most of my colleagues have been immigrants. I feel guilty about the brain drain but delighted to have the experience to work daily with dear friends who are Japanese, Pakistani, Russian, Italian, Canadian, Indian, Spanish. To hear them drop tidbits of Gujarati or other languages when they are calling home on shift. You also dramatically overstate the impact of… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/03/25 03:32 PM |
| 4 | Has anyone else found that Right Wing Man/Left Wing Woman pairings seem more common than the reverse?I think this is oversimplification. It's a statement that right wing men claim, but is it really true? Or is it their fantasy? Or does it rely on claiming only a certain carve out of qualities as masculine, some of which are at times toxic, while ignoring other very positive masculine qualities? I mean, Lindsay Graham is pretty right wing. Not so masculine. My mother in law recently abruptly entered home hospice and we were trying to assemble a hospital bed. The motor in it makes it quite heavy.… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/03/25 03:13 PM |
| 1 | gender pay gap, and societal pressure in gender rolesThank you. From feminist land I would like to report that my kids are male and female both early teens, and both expected to excel academically and to be polite and socially involved. They certainly know successful and happy adults that don't draw a significant $ wage, but rather are amazing about organizing household and meal planning with partners who choose to subsidize that. They both expect to study hard and earn enough to pay for what they want, be that a car, a cat, a single occupancy apa… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/03/25 04:06 AM |
| 3 | gender pay gap, and societal pressure in gender rolesI think this is highly variable, as a cultural construct. The answer for an African American woman, or a Filipina, or a woman raised inside evangelical Christianity, or a woman raised by a bunch of academically minded feminists, will be wildly different. They're all valid and all real. My parents were both master's degree nerds, serious feminists back in the 70s and I was raised to find my career as well as my love partner. Zero interest in the "Mrs degree". As a white, blue eyed, busty blonde a… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/03/25 02:16 AM |
| 10 | There is a selection effect at play which superficially bolsters red-pill theoriesThis is another way of saying: different people like different things. It's thoughtful and nuanced and I don't think it's wrong, but it boils down to STOP TELLING OTHER PEOPLE WHAT THEY SHOULD BE ATTRACTED TO. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/03/25 05:15 PM |
| 3 | Women who wants/have kids, are you worried about your sons suffering from loneliness epidemic in the future and what steps are you going to take so that he gets a healthy dating life?I'm not sure I can agree with all this, not sure there exist enough lesbian couples raising kids to have shown statistical no inferiority. Anecdotally, I know a few handfuls of households with two mom's and the kids are turning out beautifully. I wish someone would look into simply how many stable adults showing examples of loyal relationships the kids have. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/03/25 04:58 AM |
| 2 | Women who wants/have kids, are you worried about your sons suffering from loneliness epidemic in the future and what steps are you going to take so that he gets a healthy dating life?I think having as much family as possible is great. My own includes my husband's mother living with us, and my parents are next door and very involved. I think that long term relationships with "found family" can be very positive. A dear friend is a divorced dad raising 3 boys a thousand miles away from nearest family, and has cultivated local people adopted as aunties and uncles to demonstrate relationship skills. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/03/25 06:00 PM |
| 7 | Q4W: As a guy, why would it be wrong to hold out for a specific preference that doesn't match the mainstream, such as a woman who acts like a pornstar or a tradwife or anything else?All of the above. And most importantly as already posted, it doesn't change the remedy: don't blame other people for not wanting to fit your wants. It's totally fine for a person to say they are holding out for a certain type. Keep on doing that. But if young women would rather dye their hair blue and get nose rings than date that person, they shouldn't get angry at the women about it. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/03/25 08:11 PM |
| 21 | Women who wants/have kids, are you worried about your sons suffering from loneliness epidemic in the future and what steps are you going to take so that he gets a healthy dating life?I've an early teenage son. We heavily encourage sports activity and socialization in real life, pushed on also having an art for a long time but it just wasn't his thing. We require basic grooming, decent diet, manners. We try to transparently demonstrate the work that goes into being social or in organized sports, as in these are all the forms, and this is how far in advance we need to plan. I want to have a grilled dinner with my friends, so weeks ahead I set the date and invite people, I writ… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/03/25 07:02 PM |
| 1 | What sort of first dates/outings do you prefer ?Auntie energy - just be ready for it to be both awkward and earnest. It's ok to say to someone that you are solvent and interested in setting up 529s for eventual kids and whatnot, but not spending lots of money on silly supercars, flash watches, gambling, whiskey, or fine dining and big bouquets of cut flowers until you are both well established. I think I got a conventional bouquet once in my life and that relationship was already dead, because he didn't get me. Later, my husband joined a loca… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/03/25 06:08 AM |
| 1 | What sort of first dates/outings do you prefer ?Do guys ever talk really openly with specific women before dates about the money stuff? It's a totally awkward topic. I think one of the things that ended up being a strength with my husband (twenty years this summer) was that we awkwardly talked about money pretty seriously really early. When we met I had been hired at a new job but my start date was delayed for administrative reasons so I had two months with plenty of time to hang out and no cash. I felt very uncomfortable accepting anything e… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/03/25 01:12 AM |
| 1 | The fact so many Gen Z men and women have complaints about the dating market proves it is a widespread issue... You could go the route of only dating women that earn more than you, in which case joint assets divided would be in your favor. Or negotiate a prenuptial agreement. And honestly, if you married a person that brought zero to the game, such that all marital assets are "yours", then you have either poor eyesight or poor taste. ... As compared to a single person moving through life, a married person feels several financial benefits including shared rent, food, covering for eachother when sick, e… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/03/25 07:30 PM |
| 4 | What do women value the most?My needs and values have shifted over the years. Which I think is very normal. When I was in college and the first few years out, I valued my safety (physical and financial) and having interesting experiences, such as going to a kooky art show or one week I actually took a class in how to artificially inseminate cows. At that phase I made a point of knowing all the inexpensive diners within a twenty minute drive and which had the best hash browns. During this phase I did indeed value sexual conn… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/03/25 03:59 PM |
| 3 | What sort of first dates/outings do you prefer ?I 100% would suggest some outdoor public space (not off the beaten path) free activity, or meeting up for something that I was going to do anyway, Dutch. Just excuses to have more time together to chat and see if we have a good vibe. And keep some time open after, in case the conversation is so good we spontaneously have to go get a burger at the diner. Nearly every city has either a website or a local blog or paper that lists all the stuff, the "jazz on the library porch with a food truck", or … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/03/25 02:54 PM |
| 12 | What do women even offer?I think you have more drama. That's an insane thing to tell a child. Your mother said she didn't love you, that's horrid. I work to cultivate my son as feeling loved and capable of expressing affection. He's 14. I ask about his classes and his sport, his friends, compliment him on his hairdo, nudge him on chores and thank him for when he (on rare occasions) makes dinner. He's the kind of guy that will come home and lean his cheek on my shoulder as he goes by as a no-arm hug, or after dinner migh… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/03/25 04:21 AM |
| 2 | The root of the orgasm gap seems to be genital mutilation more than anything elseAs in, if everything else was 100% identical, I'm a fan of the natural state, it's a little more to play with and helps a wee bit with lubrication particularly for challenging situations such as showers or lakes where things are washed away, but it's so much less important than anything else I would look for in a man. (Attentiveness, attention span, humility but also confidence, humor) | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/03/25 04:09 AM |
| 12 | The root of the orgasm gap seems to be genital mutilation more than anything elseI had quite a heyday back in my day, including samples of both natural and cut guys, and my anecdote at least is that the circumcision status was the very way far absolutely least important signifier of a good lover. Way. Way. Can I emphasize this more. Shout it for the back row. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/03/25 04:05 AM |
| 1 | Is it fair to say that women can struggle in dating as well?Me neither? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/03/25 10:58 PM |
| 1 | Is it fair to say that women can struggle in dating as well?All humans have crazy thoughts and all humans know how to limit them, like choosing to not fart in the elevator. Just don't. Nobody minds the thoughts or the briefest glance. It's the rest that is under voluntary control. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/03/25 07:54 PM |
| 1 | Is it fair to say that women can struggle in dating as well?Answering not so much for you, because I think you get it, but for silent redditors reading along: Yes. And this is exactly why young adolescents need to get dragged along to annoying social events like weddings or making and delivering meals to sick people, and volunteering at the local food bank. They need to witness and participate in socialization. And this is also exactly why we need to share our embarrassing experiences of having tried, and messed up, and tried, and briefly succeeded, and … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/03/25 07:38 PM |
| 1 | Expecting a partner to at least be in a similar economic position as you is entirely reasonableSo, to be clear, I have no dog in this fight. I own my own home and that's all. No second home, no rental properties. Buuut there were many times in this real life world when I could not do that. I wanted to live 90 minutes away from my parents, I couldn't afford the investment to purchase a place nor did I want the permanency, or responsibility for roof or gutters or electrical wiring. In short, I wanted to pay a fitting sum of money to not have to worry about that stuff. With the easy expectat… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/03/25 07:19 PM |
| 1 | Expecting a partner to at least be in a similar economic position as you is entirely reasonableMmm I don't think it's our consumption habits, I think it's voting and general education. When a third of the population doesn't vote, when gerrymandering is rampant, when Citizens United continues ... those are the things that can fix this. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/03/25 07:09 PM |
| 1 | Is it fair to say that women can struggle in dating as well?Thank you - and keep being open about it. Difficult topics are difficult! | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/03/25 07:07 PM |
| 1 | Is it fair to say that women can struggle in dating as well?95% of males will tell you that the nazis were good, that the "purge of the weak" is good, weak as in "oh you have diabetes? you need to be purged" While I don't doubt that these men exist, I don't think they are common. I think a majority of men are good and kind, and there are some noisy Internet trolls. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/03/25 07:06 PM |
| 1 | Is it fair to say that women can struggle in dating as well?What I tell my teens and their friends (nearly all my heavy conversations with teens are cloaked in a fog of war, pretending we are talking about some third tier imaginary friend) is that intelligence and anxiety do correlate. We can't prove why, but it may have something to do with being able to immediately imagine a thousand undesired outcomes and feeling a need to prepare. Feeling those flutters of anxiousness aren't a sign of weakness, it's your strength. Breathe slow and deep and review you… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/03/25 07:02 PM |
| 0 | Is it fair to say that women can struggle in dating as well?Thank you. It's not holding me back, so much as the lesson I am taking from the experience is that we need to tell our friends and young adults and internet people that it's ok to share more. It's ok to look weak, or vulnerable, or to discuss pragmatic ways to meet your needs. People can look exceptionally successful and still feel very sad and lost. This has helped me to be slightly more blunt and direct when talking to my own friends, not about anything as significant as suicide, but just tryi… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/03/25 06:54 PM |
| 0 | Is it fair to say that women can struggle in dating as well?Ah, truth. Agree. This is indeed the biggest lesson I have so far learned from this sub. I had not realized how incredibly toxic the Internet has been specifically for young men trying to date (for either sex or romance). My son is just fourteen, and young for his age. Both his father and I went through puberty late and he's only just starting to get armpit hair and to grow, he still has the high sweet voice of a boy, not a young man. We have tripled down on encouraging in person socialization, … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/03/25 06:48 PM |
| 2 | Expecting a partner to at least be in a similar economic position as you is entirely reasonableI don't disagree with you, on an idealistic perspective I'm all full on Star Trek, the fictional post-money society where it all just magically happens. Have you any examples of this working out in real life? Someone has to fix the roof, and they need to get paid, and everyone is slashing taxes. I mean, I consistently vote for subsidized housing being built in my neighborhood, I volunteer down at the survival center parceling out basic food and cosmetics, I'm thoroughly down with the ideas you s… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/03/25 06:39 PM |
| 3 | Expecting a partner to at least be in a similar economic position as you is entirely reasonableAll forms of passive income/"rent" are theft/exploitation. If a person writes a book or paints a picture or records a song, should they not get any percentage of the sale of later copies? I will agree that there are very concerning issues in the housing market, imbalances. And horrid landlords certainly exist. But many people simply cannot afford to purchase homes and many landlords do provide fair and honest commerce. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/03/25 06:04 PM |
| 1 | Expecting a partner to at least be in a similar economic position as you is entirely reasonableI find this comment fascinating! We are definitely getting away from the main topic of the sub, but if you're willing. To start with context, I'm pretty socialist. I am supportive of universal healthcare, I'm proud to pay extra tax so my local public schools provide free breakfast and lunch to all without needing any paperwork. I have at various times in my life felt grateful to be able to rent housing, being not in a position to buy. I think the only imaginable alternative would be if the gover… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/03/25 05:51 PM |
| 2 | Is it fair to say that women can struggle in dating as well?drop the hustle and get a girlfriend. Much agree. I know I sound like an old fart, but I think the advent of normalizing hookup culture has not done young people well. As in, yes, I get it, we are horny lusty people. But I really think too many people are trying to stuff all kinds of emotional needs into the sex bucket. Sometimes what you need is a cuddle, or someone that knows you and cares to fix your cup of coffee just right, or tell you that you look great in that shirt. In other words, a re… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/03/25 05:45 PM |
| 1 | Is it fair to say that women can struggle in dating as well?they just expect a prince charming to fall into their lap. I agree. I mean, from her perspective I think it was more that she had somehow been led to expect that it was unfeminine to do anything other than wait, ankles crossed and eyelashes lowered. Which is crazy because she was an industrious and hard-working person. So I mean, it isn't laziness or entitlement, I really think she felt shackled. Anyhow, yet another reason for us all to encourage the young people to ask other people out, whether… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/03/25 05:40 PM |
| 5 | Is it fair to say that women can struggle in dating as well?Thanks. I think it helps to share the story, maybe help another person feel that they aren't the only one to have dark days. Female physicians in the US have 4 times the successful suicide rate as compared to other women, they tend to feel a lot of pressure and they know how to get it done. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/03/25 05:35 PM |
| 1 | Is it fair to say that women can struggle in dating as well?Thank you. The Internet stuff I feel very comfortable to speak on since I've been reading on that for a decade, and attending local seminars etc that measure the effects of too much Internet on kids brains, attention span, socialization skill, sense of self worth, anxiety, depression, safety - I'm totally clear that while the Internet is a valuable tool and resource, it's to be taken in moderation and with care. As in, my teens have phones that we don't monitor, but that's because their schools … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/03/25 05:27 PM |
| 4 | Is it fair to say that women can struggle in dating as well?It's ok. It's been enough months that I'm ready to dissect it more, and it is quite relevant to the sub. I'll never really know because she didn't talk too much about it and made it feel a bit like I was prying if I asked. Again, we didn't live close, it wasn't like I could take her to get set up with my friends. I think she was a bit too romantic (in the sense of the word as believing that your prince will come some day, you should passively wait) to use the apps, heck she didn't really even do… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/03/25 05:19 PM |
| 1 | Is it fair to say that women can struggle in dating as well?She hiked and went to church. She was certainly a housemouse by instinct. Though oddly enough we first became friends when a group of study buddies wanted to do salsa dancing lessons. We would all drive to the city and dance with strangers. There's a certain way of making eye contact that leads to small talk, that leads to flirting, and I think that didn't work for her. Edit/ your actual question. I suspect that being setup by friends, cautiously at first, was the only thing that was going to wo… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/03/25 05:06 PM |
| 1 | Is it fair to say that women can struggle in dating as well?Oh I know they exist, they just seem so alien. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/03/25 05:03 PM |
| 1 | Expecting a partner to at least be in a similar economic position as you is entirely reasonableThe only women I know who didn't drive is 91 years old. Do you know many? I will agree, yes my husband ends up doing more of that hands on work like replacing a broken coat hook but it's not because he's a man, it's because he's an engineer. You are correct, women don't get criticized for the parts they typically don't do. I don't know if it's charm, though. I think being unable/unwilling to do the regular daily needs, or weekly needs, is a bit different than deciding to hire out getting the oil… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/03/25 12:41 PM |
| 3 | Is it fair to say that women can struggle in dating as well?This comment is exactly what is weird to me about this sub. I'm social with many men and none of them act this way or say these things. As in, I accept that they occur, but I don't think they are frequent. Or healthy. In the end, only about a third voted for Trump, since a third stayed home and his margin was less than 2%. Round me, guys are generally good and interested in protecting families and third spaces. Round me, most guye are cool. Of course, round me, the protest signs tend to say fuck… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/03/25 04:50 AM |
| 6 | Is it fair to say that women can struggle in dating as well?Well I'd start by saying Musk has depleted his political inertia. The entire planet on average thinks he's an asshole and his stock has followed. I do have plenty of men in my life that believe in gentle suppleness. Guys who don't physically assault and aren't monsters. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/03/25 03:30 AM |
| 22 | Is it fair to say that women can struggle in dating as well?She was a frikkin amazing med peds trained physician (that's very competitive to get into) who spent years working rural, including serving in Navajo territory and setting up another rural health clinic. She was smart and fierce as hell for many patients for decades and in many settings. It's the quiet ones sometimes. She did not have fierce energy to figure out what she needed for herself to feel ok. Please hug all your friends. And consider having awkward conversations about how messy life is … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/03/25 03:19 AM |
| 11 | Is it fair to say that women can struggle in dating as well?Well, I am a woman. My experience is shifted because I'm a different age, I'm 47 and I'm here trying to understand what the Internet is going to do to my teenage children. I humbly acknowledge that dating is different now than it was when I was dating. I do not think that dating was the only cause of her major refractory depression and eventual suicide, despite several tries at medication, and even TMS and ECT. But it did contribute, at least per her perspective it was a major factor, and by the… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/03/25 03:11 AM |
| 5 | Is it fair to say that women can struggle in dating as well?In hindsight as I've tried to process her death, I've wished I talked to her more about kinky stuff, honestly. We talked about food and travel and dancing and kayaking and art and music and we didn't talk much about romance beyond her feeling shy about it and preferring Hallmark type movies. And how she centrally felt sad about never finding that connection. She described once having a decent vibe with a guy but it was at a table of friends at Christmas and other people tried to force a first ki… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/03/25 02:54 AM |
| 28 | Is it fair to say that women can struggle in dating as well?I mean, I had a friend from school who was slim and high earning and had good hygiene die by suicide six months ago, never been kissed at the age of 46. She had a difficult combination of being very romantic, very submissive, but she tried to be sociable and she wasn't mean to guys at all. When not working she was the type to make cookies and watch a Hallmark movie. But mostly she worked hard and she was good at her job, diligent. She struggled with even the idea of dating, but wanted it deeply.… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/03/25 02:36 AM |
| 3 | Expecting a partner to at least be in a similar economic position as you is entirely reasonableI agree with this comment, just not with the prior comment that chores are some excuse for not being physically attracted. I utterly agree that parents need to teach all kids to be competent people to live in a shared space. When kids are 2 or 3 they are fascinated by the things their parents do, and it's time consuming but if you include them they can get competent very early. My kids have each done their own laundry from the time they could reach the dials (laundry strips in place of anything … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/03/25 12:10 AM |
| 15 | Expecting a partner to at least be in a similar economic position as you is entirely reasonableTwenty years ago I married a man. He is 7 years older and had more accumulated wealth than me at that point. We agreed that our plan was for me to enter medical school, and we married the summer after my first year. Obviously my salary dropped from 40k as a research assistant to massively negative. Then we together agreed that having babies sooner was going to be hard, but less hard than deferring until after residency. So we had two pregnancies in med school. Which means he was a very active fa… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/03/25 11:47 PM |
| 11 | Expecting a partner to at least be in a similar economic position as you is entirely reasonableI went to grad school with a handful of objectively intelligent, attractive tall young men ... who were still bringing their laundry home to their mothers, and couldn't cook beyond heating something up. I can't even fathom. They made great study buddies, they had good hygiene, they were fun to talk to between classes. They were adults, and for my standards, undatable. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/03/25 11:36 PM |
| 2 | Q4W&BP: If You Don’t Like The Manosphere, Can You Come Up With A Better Solution For Men?How are you pitching this. Jeezum crow. So I live in a super feminist city and maybe we just punched through the other side, but seriously. Here, where lesbians are normal and most primary care health clinics list openly that they are trans affirming. Most of the guys I know are involved with some type of single gender activity. Just run it by being frank that you want to be around men. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/03/25 07:17 PM |
| 2 | Paternity tests should a standard part of the birthing process.I had a super weird conversation with my cousin a few weeks back. She's a master's degree community epidemiologist most recently working on a local outbreak of pertussis, and I'm a community emergency physician. We were both like, hey, I guess we get to finally see all the crazy stuff we learned in textbooks, huh. I guess that's sort of cool? (Hashtag not) So yeah. Reading up more about measles and other vaccine preventable illness. Because we all know that vaccines aren't 100% and the only way … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/03/25 07:06 PM |
| 0 | Q4W&BP: If You Don’t Like The Manosphere, Can You Come Up With A Better Solution For Men?Please read my response about the BSA and my family's experience there. It's important to have both coed third space, and protected single gender sort of third spaces, which by definition won't be public and therefore guys have to organize it and probably fund it, and that sort of makes it not actual third spaces which are supposed to be communally owned, like libraries and churches. The "third spaces" currently used exclusively by my male family include some sports related (indoor soccer) (outd… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/03/25 06:47 PM |
| 5 | Q4W&BP: If You Don’t Like The Manosphere, Can You Come Up With A Better Solution For Men?I remain flabbergasted at how hyperbolic this place is. Context: I'm twenty years married and I'm here the same way I tried to read up on kid behavior a few years ahead of what my kids were doing in preschool and whatever, to get ahead of what the modern issues are. I know the Internet, the pandemic has changed things and I want to know what my teenage son and daughter are going to be exposed to. What we do, in real life, as lifelong feminists, is show them as much real life socialization as pos… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/03/25 06:16 PM |
| 7 | Paternity tests should a standard part of the birthing process.This should only be true for relationships where it's also normal to have a private investigator make a dossier on the man. Seriously, what does the paternity test prove? It doesn't prove fidelity, as many people who cheat continue to be sexual with their spouse. Either he has reason to suspect, in which case yes get the test, but also move out because no matter the result of the test the reasons for the suspicion remain. If you really think there's enough chance the kid isn't yours, don't stay … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/03/25 12:53 PM |
| 2 | The “average man” line of thought plays a sizeable role on my men are miserableI feel as though the bell curve has gotten flatter, so how do we assist the young'uns? I mean, I'm in a stable monogamous marriage hitting two decades, I've got teenagers and I'm here the same way I stalked other people with four year olds behaviors when my kids were two, I'm trying to learn how how the world works a wee bit ahead so I can support my kiddos. Thus far I maximize parental support of in person socialization of all kinds, but coed as much as possible. My teens are required to do an … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/03/25 02:35 AM |
| 0 | The “average man” line of thought plays a sizeable role on my men are miserableA statistical majority of men and up partnered or married. pew research link Yes, it's not everyone, and some of those that don't, don't for reasons (addiction, mental health, men and women both). Seems like from the research, the thing to do to more closely correlate with better odds of being partnered up is to go get a college degree. They don't differentiate community college from expensive college. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/03/25 04:41 PM |
| 1 | The “average man” line of thought plays a sizeable role on my men are miserableI'm talking about dear friends who married other of my dear friends. They weren't mad about it, there's no need to be upset on their behalf. Yes the phrase is also used in a more objectifying sense but I would have thought the context before (good friends who eat dinner together regularly) and after (eventually got married) would clear that up. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/03/25 10:05 PM |
| 2 | The “average man” line of thought plays a sizeable role on my men are miserableEh, got distracted by kid things and replied to the OP in place of you. Anyhow, disagree. My regular dinner group of twelve in college included a few guys that were reliable and two of them got cautiously passed around inside the group - verrrrrry slowly to avoid hurting people's feelings - and it resulted in two marriages. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/03/25 02:45 AM |
| 0 | The “average man” line of thought plays a sizeable role on my men are miserableI "settled" at the age of 25, 24 if you count the dating before engagement. All during college we were enthusiastic cheerleaders for the solid and reliable guys. They all ended up married. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/03/25 02:41 AM |
| 4 | The “average man” line of thought plays a sizeable role on my men are miserableI'm not a man, but I do consider myself a normal person and spend time and effort trying to support other normal people routinely. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/03/25 02:25 AM |
| 3 | The “average man” line of thought plays a sizeable role on my men are miserableI must observe that this is a classic form of "man on man" emotional violence. Men making other men feel hopeless for being at the 50th percentile. Look around - by basic mathematical fact, half the women will be more attractive and half, less so. Half the men will be more attractive and half, less so. Half the men and women will be earning in the top half of the bracket for their gender and half in the bottom half. That's how the math works. It's ok to be normal. Usual. Getting by, being mundan… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/03/25 08:05 PM |
| 1 | CMV: Families are happier with the modern wife/mom than the traditional typeAgree, but we have to have a convenient phrase for it that isn't "trad wife dynamic isn't always a good solution they used a record number of barbiturates in order to cope". Equal marriages? Balanced marriages? Most of the time everyone has to work? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/03/25 05:01 PM |
| 18 | If you’re going to hookup with a guy, or you get into a relationship, and you find out he’s got a larger dick, is this generally seen as a “plus”?I've learned which positions are protective, how to use my hands and legs to avoid getting hit too deep. (Legs extended positions help to protect the cervix, man's legs outside woman's even better, and people can buy bumpers such as the Oh-Nut). And how to kindly tell certain of my past lovers that sex simply won't be happening as frequently if it means all of that penis in my vagina, there will be recovery breaks potentially lasting some days unless we maximize some mitigation strategies. My hu… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/03/25 12:18 AM |
| 5 | The Orgasm Gap: A Double-Edged Sword for MenThe literal analog would be expecting men to rub their own dick and call it sex. I suspect we might be actually on the same page - I do believe that if more young women, women of all ages were encouraged to masturbate from a young age like boys and men do, and if men then felt good about asking them to pretty please show off how this lovely body gets off and teach them how (and then participate in doing that) - that would result in more orgasms, more actively enthusiastic sex, better sex overall… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/03/25 11:59 PM |
| 1 | Realistically, what qualities would make you overlook a conventionally attractive man for an unattractive one?My man has a bald head and does not have a square jaw. He is, however, incredibly fit, reliable and active in certain fields that impress me (gardening native plants and energy responsibility with early investing in photovoltaics 25 years ago before that was a common thing) so I married him and we made some kids. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/03/25 08:10 PM |
| 3 | What should men who don't want to change do?Love the Anne MaCaffrey username. Menolly was also an image of a young woman who was driven in her field, intense, strong, and finally fearlessly feminine when she met the man she wanted. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/03/25 03:41 PM |
| 1 | Women , are you ok being cold approached in public at all?it was like a lightbulb went off Isn't that wild? Three times in my life I've had that experience. Each time the man ended up being a deeply powerful dating experience, the first one I dated a year despite long distance in high school. The second dated two years in college. I married the third, twenty years ago and going strong. Each time it was like an electricity within moments of meeting him, like gravity shifted, I just knew he was going to be special to me. The first and the third were I gu… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/03/25 01:04 PM |
| 3 | If feminism is targeted at true equality between men and women, why aren’t more western women targeting regressive societies?On the gripping hand (read the Larry Niven novel Mote in God's eye | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/03/25 02:27 AM |
| 5 | If feminism is targeted at true equality between men and women, why aren’t more western women targeting regressive societies?Depends on my resources. Cash works better donated internationally, being extra kind and bringing a sack of groceries by works better when I have more time than money. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/03/25 02:16 AM |
| 14 | If feminism is targeted at true equality between men and women, why aren’t more western women targeting regressive societies?Genuine answer, I have always felt as though all fronts were important, including making space for my colleague to wear a hijab when she wanted to do so. Which she finally quit because she was being harassed about it. Largely, we have one bucket to agitate for international needs and a separate bucket for our own community. We do both. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/03/25 02:12 AM |
| 8 | What should men who don't want to change do?If a person doesn't want to change, they are actively choosing to stay on their same path, despite getting undesired results from the world. Like Cinderella in Into the Woods sang, I know what my decision is, Which is not to decide Phillipa Soo singing the song which is a fantastic bit of music, even if I think it's a seriously toxic concept for dating. It's the moment that Cinderella decides to abdicate responsibility for pursuing the Prince honestly and leaves him a clue (a shoe) instead. 3 mi… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/03/25 01:01 AM |
| 9 | What should men who don't want to change do?Gently, friend, I understand why it seems so - when we are tender about something we are always extra aware of the things that aim at our tender spots. But as a woman I would've described the sub as opposite, always telling women to choose better and stop being entitled demanding bitches. I am careful to take an extra breath and take everyone's blanket statement down a notch and be aware that I'm more likely by the algorithm to be shown things that upset me. I would agree that decent general adv… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/03/25 12:40 AM |
| 18 | What should men who don't want to change do?This is a subreddit about dating strategy. It's the literal, explicitly described focus of the debate here. If you are content to live single, that's great - I like to hear about people being content with their situation, that's a good thing. Coming to this particular subreddit to say that you are content being alone because women are awful is like entering an ice cream store and trying to order pizza. It's simply the wrong venue. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/03/25 02:44 PM |
| 2 | Why do you view male sexuality as inherently objectifying and degrading?Although nearly half of USA adults have used online dating apps, only about 13% are active users, and it's a self-selected group that I must say, looks pretty toxic. Extra focused on certain grooming trends etc. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/03/25 12:24 AM |
| 2 | Why do you view male sexuality as inherently objectifying and degrading?Hard disagree with that, lol. If you get a bunch of gals chatting without fear of being overheard, they can pick out some yummy part to comment on of most guys walking by. (I do live in the region of the US with the lowest obesity rate overall, and in an outdoorsy community, so that might affect my experience). It's really truly all the stuff that comes with it. The experiences of guys with a great ass that just put zero effort into finding the clitoris. The experiences of guys with great forear… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/03/25 12:05 AM |
| 16 | Majority of "misandrists" are men.This is the weirdest comment. Real life is full of men mentoring men, raising them up, teaching, complimenting, coaching, encouraging. Positive male relationships. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/03/25 06:33 PM |
| 9 | Why do you view male sexuality as inherently objectifying and degrading?Have you ever been tied up? It's not my regular deal but over thirty years of being sexual, I'll try most things once or twice and that's a thing I've tried. I don't need it, and it's annoyingly time consuming, but I must say that it felt nice. Probably because I did it with the right person. I felt incredibly seen, and precious. Decorated by the rope. As though he was putting all this effort into making certain I stayed put for him to lick and appreciate. It wasn't degrading at all. I've defini… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/03/25 02:28 AM |
| 2 | Why do you view male sexuality as inherently objectifying and degrading?A few stories of guys that knew me for a while first. One slightly shy guy was in a study group with me senior year in undergrad in a wickedly difficult celllular and molecular biology class (we had used to call it "hell and molec". I'm uncertain if he orchestrated adding me to his study buddy group specifically to set this up, but after a few months of meeting weekly to keep up with the class, he one day handed me an envelope. He told me that a friend had asked him to give it to me, and speed w… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/03/25 01:58 AM |
| 10 | Why do you view male sexuality as inherently objectifying and degrading?Yes she enjoyed the degrading sex acts. That is my whole point. But what the redditor you are replying to stated was that the acts themselves are not degrading. I agree. I mean, the book was trash, an absolutely awful representation of the BDSM community, but they did not show either of the main characters as seeing her as sullied or "less than" for submitting. This is actually important. Giving my husband oral sex is actually a staple activity over the past twenty five years, and that works bec… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/03/25 01:43 AM |
| 4 | Why do you view male sexuality as inherently objectifying and degrading?in fact, If you are an attractive women, I bet their are countless men who you've never talked to (and defintely ones you've talked too lol) that have had this fantasy. how does that make you feel? is that "gross" thought behavior? should they stop and not have those thoughts about you? I have zero concern about that. I'm completely clear on the concept that we humans are animals, and evolution has taken steps to select for people to get horny easily. People are going to glance, people are going… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/03/25 01:31 AM |
| 3 | Why do you view male sexuality as inherently objectifying and degrading?Why do you view male sexuality as inherently objectifying and degrading? Long story short, I don't. When I'm in a secure space and I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that there's no pressure, no expectation, then I positively adore male sexuality. It's scrumptious and thrilling and fun and fizzy. I've been monogamous these past 25 years and there are some social settings where everyone is totally clear that we all respect everyone's marriages and there will be zero likelihood of straying, and tha… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/03/25 07:26 PM |
| 7 | Q4W who identify with feminism. Are there any priveleges that mostly benefit women you’re advocating to give up in the name of equality.The most chill divorce I ever witnessed started out with a year of what they call "nesting in place". Essentially the kids got the house and the adults alternated taking long weekends away. They visited friends, traveled, etc. it was a great way for them to each have time alone with the kids, time alone with themselves, and to practice the skills of handing over. They found a new home for the dad nearby and renovated it, then he moved there and established bedrooms for the kids. It was about a y… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/03/25 02:47 PM |
| 1 | Is effort attractive?This feels like a slightly different question. As originally asked, "effort" often means taking some time for basic grooming, having a clean, appropriate outfit, looking ahead to know how long it will take to get to where you're meeting up including parking snafu etc so that he's not late. This is a ground level important thing. If we both share the same hobby or activism, but him less so, that's a different thing. It's not important for him to be the leader in this situation, or even to care as… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/03/25 05:02 AM |
| 7 | Men: What do you bring to the table?This is great! But in the lovely situation of dating equals, people can still definitely "bring things to the table". It's just not lopsided. Maybe one is brilliant with social organizing and the other is great at cooking, and one tastefully decorates with nice photos from past trips and the other is great with financial planning and budgeting, one can climb ladders to clear the gutter and the other brings home more dollars. It shouldn't be a competition between the types that want to end up tog… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/03/25 12:44 AM |
| 0 | Considering men who struggle with dating and lash out at women instead of doing something constructive to help themselves, what emotion is behind that choice? What's the emotional "why" behind the behavior?"In general, the evidence base for CBT is very strong" Edit/ for anxiety, depression, somatoform disorders, stress, substance abuse, insomnia, anger, aggression, general distress about anything, pregnancy complications, even schizophrenia and psychosis - essentially a full spectrum. It's not physical, like a brick launched toward your face, but neither is being turned down for sex. The analogy doesn't fit. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 06/03/25 07:47 PM |
| 1 | Considering men who struggle with dating and lash out at women instead of doing something constructive to help themselves, what emotion is behind that choice? What's the emotional "why" behind the behavior?This is disproved by the fact that no sex strike has ever worked out. Women in the end are also lusty creatures. C'mon, go hang around r/sex a bit, you'll find plenty of lusty women. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/03/25 10:04 PM |
| 4 | Considering men who struggle with dating and lash out at women instead of doing something constructive to help themselves, what emotion is behind that choice? What's the emotional "why" behind the behavior?Whoa dude you are hanging around the wrong women. Back away from the people acting like it's that digital, black and white. I'm the slightly primary initiator of sex in my long term relationship. And I'm not the only one. A sex strike is happening every time a woman wants anything in her relationship I would never recommend a friend to date you, with that mindset. Crackers. Nope. He himself does not have an inherently valuable sexuality/body This is your internalized self hatred because damn do … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/03/25 09:38 PM |
| 3 | Considering men who struggle with dating and lash out at women instead of doing something constructive to help themselves, what emotion is behind that choice? What's the emotional "why" behind the behavior?Exactly what I said, men don't hear the messages that women give towards women. You aren't hearing it. Celibacy literally means no dick on the side. Many people, male and female, have chosen sex when homelessness is on the line. Women simply aren't all that sexually attracted to men that's it, it's simple I disagree. There's a reason no sex strike has ever actually happened. There are individual women who are cold or so injured by the way they were treated that they aren't sexual with men anymor… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/03/25 09:29 PM |
| 3 | Considering men who struggle with dating and lash out at women instead of doing something constructive to help themselves, what emotion is behind that choice? What's the emotional "why" behind the behavior?Nothing about what I said is exclusive, it was merely a response to you, using the pronouns you used. All humans respond this way, all humans should be careful about internal monologue. The things you are experiencing happen to young women as well in a brutal mirror symmetry. Everyone is fucking stressed out beyond belief and therefore sometimes lashing out. Young men feel rejected, and as though they aren't seen as good men unless having sex. Young women feel rejected and as though they aren't … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/03/25 08:59 PM |
| 3 | Considering men who struggle with dating and lash out at women instead of doing something constructive to help themselves, what emotion is behind that choice? What's the emotional "why" behind the behavior?If you keep heading towards a place, you will end up there. It's a choice. It's one thing to say that Becky, Linda, and Helene were all cheating predatory shrews, but it's another to say that this therefore means that Alice, Rosalie and Isabel will be even before you know them. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/03/25 08:32 PM |
| 1 | Men simply don't value women no matter what they bring on the tableThey're not all women. I work with men and women and I get along with and talk to both. You sound pretty upset. They both men and women describe feeling manipulated and left on the hook. I think you're trying to say that women must be having a good time on the dating apps simply because they match more? I would like to let you know that they feel rather constantly semi catfished, physically in danger, or mostly expected to do a hookup despite bio to the contrary. So they drop out again. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/03/25 08:24 PM |
| 4 | Considering men who struggle with dating and lash out at women instead of doing something constructive to help themselves, what emotion is behind that choice? What's the emotional "why" behind the behavior?A basic tenet of most psychology and therapy is that the way you choose to think about something repeatedly will deeper and deeper carve a groove in your mentality. The inner monologue becomes self fulfilling. This is why everyone from self help gurus to cognitive behavioral therapists explore mantras, self statements, positive affirmations. Sounds cheesy, but they're evidence based. The more frequently you think of women as predatory, the more easily you will see it, the more difficult it will … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/03/25 08:15 PM |
| 1 | Men simply don't value women no matter what they bring on the tableWell, I don't live with them, I'm not their closest friend, so there's little else I can do other than hear what they say. Generally, observed success still seems to arise from meeting at a shared interest club or being set up by friends. The ones that whinge about the dating apps could indeed be internally toxic, but what that tells me is that the dating apps are accumulating toxic people. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/03/25 08:06 PM |
| 7 | Considering men who struggle with dating and lash out at women instead of doing something constructive to help themselves, what emotion is behind that choice? What's the emotional "why" behind the behavior?Note that said alcoholic wasn't likely even a 6'6" blue eyed Chad, and still the older women are pressuring younger women to "civilize" him, essentially by giving him sex. I think it's cultural inertia from the times when women had no other options and marital rape was legal. That's a hopeful take, honestly. Because if so, in another generation we might have the Mama's pushing both young men and women into relationships for the same reasons. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/03/25 08:03 PM |
| 1 | Men simply don't value women no matter what they bring on the tableBecause the single ones talk about it endlessly. Signing up, feeling overwhelmed, going silent, wishing they could just meet someone normal and easy. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/03/25 07:55 PM |
| 1 | Men simply don't value women no matter what they bring on the tableAwww. The most recent good new relationships I've seen were all blatantly set up by women. Try finding some coupled up women and letting it be known you're available? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/03/25 07:51 PM |
| 1 | Men simply don't value women no matter what they bring on the tableMy 14 year old boy I think he knows of it but doesn't feel it yet. He's young for age (no armpit hair yet) and still thinks girls are icky. Doesn't really talk about dating stuff. My 17 year old girl I think is aware, she notices what other people are doing, and thinks manipulative tactics are toxic. She's quite aware that the sexes/genders have different drives as we raise animals and she has known about testosterone and estrogen driven mating behavior since preschool. Detour for a funny story,… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/03/25 07:48 PM |
| 9 | Considering men who struggle with dating and lash out at women instead of doing something constructive to help themselves, what emotion is behind that choice? What's the emotional "why" behind the behavior?That's a kind compliment, thanks. Buuut my answer probably won't be what you want to hear. Because it doesn't solve anything. It's a mix of two things: 1) men don't easily hear how hard women are on each other for complaining about this because it's not aimed at them, but I assure you there is a metric fuckton of that messaging going on. Largely from women a little older, the mamas and the aunties bullying young women to settle down with a man who maybe actually is abusive or belittling. This is… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/03/25 07:24 PM |
| 17 | Considering men who struggle with dating and lash out at women instead of doing something constructive to help themselves, what emotion is behind that choice? What's the emotional "why" behind the behavior?I think it's a very common human behavior (all people, not unique to men) to get jealous. Heck it's even observed in other apes and many mammals. It's very easy to be mad at, or want to tear down someone you are jealous of. It's not good. It's not pleasant. It's not constructive. But it is understandable. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/03/25 06:56 PM |
| 4 | Men simply don't value women no matter what they bring on the tableMy job involves herding a flock of late twenties something's, who on occasion whine about their dating. More importantly I've two kids in high school , the elder of whom keeps me up on the local gossip. Regardless (this old lady cackles) the species and its inherent biology hasn't likely shifted in twenty years, it's more likely that the young are painfully learning that online dating and social media are often toxic to healthy interaction between men and women. Step away from the apps. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/03/25 03:27 AM |
| 2 | 'Manosphere' tactics don't work- They destroyed my relationship with the love of my lifeYou are stretching a bit. I have a deep and consistent history in this thread of taking men and women to task for both being occasionally awful, but most of them being good and reasonable. Yes, in a literal sense I literally said that this one example of Tate's dread game is a bad man thing, I was apparently too clumsy in trying to describe the left side of the Venn diagram. I apologize for being imprecise, or not mentioning the context in every post. In the end the point is, it doesn't matter i… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/03/25 12:11 AM |
| 3 | 'Manosphere' tactics don't work- They destroyed my relationship with the love of my lifeNot saying that it is. The Venn diagram bulges out in both directions (three circles, not two) with a huge bunch in common and then some odd things and outliers which are not in common, but end up looking exceedingly symmetrical, but mirror imaged and therefore not instinctively comprehensible/ empathetically received from the opposite group. There are healthy men and women out there in the center of the Venn who are all trying to get to the gym, eat right, advance in their careers and other ski… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/03/25 11:48 PM |
| 5 | 'Manosphere' tactics don't work- They destroyed my relationship with the love of my lifeThat's also stuff that any decent primary care physician would tell every man - and every woman! The controversial part, the part that's relevant to this thread and the entire sub, would be the parts of the venn diagram that are unique to men and dating. Like this dread game nonsense. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/03/25 10:14 PM |
| 7 | Men simply don't value women no matter what they bring on the tableI'm going to do that thing where as a woman, I have zero connection to what the OP is saying here. I do not see it in my own marriage of twenty years, frequent in the long and sturdy relationships around me, nor routinely reflected in places that aren't about dating debate - go to the subreddits in parenting, or sex, or financial advice, in otherwords a more random sample of the population and it's just ... more calm and with both parties supportive. Divorces happen, but not always with this kin… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/03/25 09:48 PM |
| 4 | The Reason Men Don't Buy Dating Is As Bad For Women As It Is For Us Is Women Don't Tend To Date "Desperate"Exactly, and it makes them more depressed and anxious, which is why healthy women are leaving the apps, further concentrating the difficult ones. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/03/25 01:59 PM |
| 15 | The Reason Men Don't Buy Dating Is As Bad For Women As It Is For Us Is Women Don't Tend To Date "Desperate"... which is why women are leaving online dating. It doesn't work well. It might have been ok initially but it got gamified. Also I would not put it past the software programmers to be sabotaging everyone in order to keep them scrolling, as they do on all the social media apps. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/03/25 04:15 AM |
| 8 | Do you not believe that a mentally sound man could want a paternity test in every single scenario where he’s informed he’s a father to a child?I don't know any women in real life that would go through their husband's phone, texts, emails. It would be seen as controlling and paranoid in my progressive social circle. Edit/ not saying it doesn't happen, but I think it's a bit like the online dating echo chambers where there's a noisy minority. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/03/25 12:02 AM |
| 1 | Its not women’s problem that men have low standards out of desperation.I'm not offended. Please don't project that on me. We know reddit is required to flair it as 18+, as I stated we don't ignore the random teen visitors, we carefully steer them to have age appropriate caution and age matched peers using the same messages that pediatricians and researchers in the sociology of adolescent sexuality would. Which is not abstinence only, let's never talk about sex. It's that from the beginning of wanting to hold someone's hand, everyone needs to get the message that re… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/03/25 01:26 AM |
| 7 | Its not women’s problem that men have low standards out of desperation.Push comes to shove, yes but I don't think that's what that person was trying to say. I think they were trying to suggest that introspection can help get everyone closer to what they want. Observing a pattern in one's own behavior can help to streamline future choices. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/03/25 09:10 PM |
| 2 | Its not women’s problem that men have low standards out of desperation.Friend, the r/sex is clearly flaired for adults and when we sniff out a teen we over and over counsel for age matched strictly consensual exploration and empowering gentle slow exploration without rushing into full intercourse. Yes it's a sex positive sub but in a way that is consistent with scarlateen.com or the board that certifies Adolescent Medicine, or the more common views on r/parenting. It's also very pro loyal long term married sex, for people that value that (like me, twenty years marr… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/03/25 08:46 PM |
| 4 | Its not women’s problem that men have low standards out of desperation.What you are doing is removing any responsibilty from women and dumping it all on men. While I'm a booster for not having blanket statements, in general, in any situation where anyone is making a choice, it's reasonable to expect them to choose the best available option. If I go to Staples to purchase an office chair and they have three models for the same price but of varying quality, I should pick the comfy one that supports my back and has an adjustable seat. It's not on me to call the Staple… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/03/25 06:51 PM |
| 8 | Its not women’s problem that men have low standards out of desperation.Yes, if they were flaired as "I know I'm venting and this post doesn't reflect most of reality". There are impressionable youngsters reading along. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/03/25 06:44 PM |
| 0 | Did The 2014-15 Discussion of "Nice Guys" And "Me Too" Cause You To Stop Dating/Talking To Men?I really hope my comment makes sense to you, both as a comment that values nearly all men as good men, but that nearly all women have indeed been feeling ashamed about and hiding a larger or smaller "metoo" moment. It was just so shocking for my mama to reveal to her closest women she had known for thirty years and longer. It was very commonly held quiet. None of them shared it with friends let alone filed reports. Many not with husbands. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/03/25 07:19 AM |
| 7 | It's sad that women have been conditioned to be self serving and overly interested in men's money and resources.If you are simply completely set on the idea that this is "how women are" and you are unwilling to choose better women, there's not much else to say. In every sector there will be humans both men and women that act in toxic ways. Men who are controlling and women who are golddiggers, and the opposite. Everyone of us should encourage our friends to walk away from the people behaving badly. The cure is to throw away trad gender norms. Come join the feminist progressives! | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/03/25 05:59 AM |
| 6 | It's sad that women have been conditioned to be self serving and overly interested in men's money and resources.Of course not. And most women don't. (Don't go by the dating apps that's only 13% of the population and it's self selecting a particularly toxic and cruel bunch). No, most normal real life people decide, hey we are together planning to have a baby perhaps three years in the future so let's together get our earning and housing prepared and set aside money for parental leave and baby things. It's shared. People post weird stuff on reddit about unhealthy marriages where either he's controlling or s… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/03/25 04:56 AM |
| 13 | It's sad that women have been conditioned to be self serving and overly interested in men's money and resources.Just pull back from the blanket statements, okay? If you don't prefer a high maintenance woman, date hikers and farmer girls and school teachers. Date progressives who want to pull their weight as feminists do. I agree that there are women out there that want men to pay for their manicure, and that's crazy to me, just avoid them. I once was sat on an airline next to a pleasant young woman whose extravagantly jeweled very long nails prevented her from opening the distributed pop can. I'm a late f… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/03/25 04:49 AM |
| 16 | Did The 2014-15 Discussion of "Nice Guys" And "Me Too" Cause You To Stop Dating/Talking To Men?When "metoo" went down, my mother was in her early seventies. And married more than forty years, most of her women friends in stable marriages, very supportive of her son (my brother) and my husband, and my son. So she was in a stable place of loving and supporting and trusting men. The community conversations that followed "metoo" were startling to her. She had genuinely thought that she was the only one groped on the bus as a tween, or pressured way too hard by a jerk in college or in a workpl… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/03/25 04:41 AM |
| 7 | It's sad that women have been conditioned to be self serving and overly interested in men's money and resources.Yes, but people plan ahead. For us and many other couples that included hopscotching (taking turns) taking more care of the home while the other invests in more school or intensive working outside the home. It's ok, admirable even, for men and women both to value a partner who has a reasonable sense of how they are going to budget their life to include retirement, pets, a home, vacations, kids. Don't enroll in that art history major unless you know how you are going to pay for the loan, that typ… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/03/25 04:26 AM |
| 18 | It's sad that women have been conditioned to be self serving and overly interested in men's money and resources.Her case is very sad, but Petito worked to save up the money and she bought the van they traveled in. Laundrie was the one confiscating her wallet and ID to control her movements seeing her girlfriends. It illustrates that people can be monsters, but not at all that women are demanding to be provided for. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/03/25 04:21 AM |
| 10 | It's sad that women have been conditioned to be self serving and overly interested in men's money and resources.Love that for us - record screech noise - until the couple decide they want kids. If we had better governmental protection for paid paternity and maternity, and massively subsidized créche (2 months to 3 years) it would go a long way towards giving people options. That said, again - I live in a very progressive place and part of it is normalizing men not only having some employer paid paternity but maxxing out the state FMLA to be home for 6 months. It's lovely. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/03/25 04:13 AM |
| 20 | It's sad that women have been conditioned to be self serving and overly interested in men's money and resources.Gently, you started out with a reasonable comment that many women behave in a certain kind of way, but by the end it was full on blanket statements that relationships are all about stroking women's egos, relationships are devoid of love. It got pretty intense. I don't disbelieve in your personal experiences, and I'm certain there are communities where that type of wretchedness is more normalized. I live in a very progressive community where gender norms aren't required, and I think that's highly… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/03/25 04:08 AM |
| 0 | LysistrataWomen at that time were legally unable to decide about whether to prosecute unwanted sexual acts, it was decided by their male guardian (husband, father etc). The Jews varied but not that much. Marriage to the rapist was seen as a valid remedy. Do those things seem copacetic? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/02/25 07:20 PM |
| 2 | LysistrataSatire, yes. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/02/25 03:50 AM |
| 2 | LysistrataThis is why it never has happened in real life. The wars happen, but women are lusty and aren't good at quitting sex. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/02/25 03:49 AM |
| 1 | LysistrataI just find it interesting that in a play set in a time when women could not hold property, could not vote, could not refuse marital rape and when much of the plays and writing going on included frequent mention of rape by the gods and others ... Aristophanes wrote a piece in which the wives got together and the best they could muster was let's be a bad lay until they end the war because they knew they couldn't refuse outright. Can we evolve? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/02/25 03:48 AM |
| 1 | LysistrataWith another completely insulting and blanket statement that you think all women can't see history and that they all think all men are dumb. For the record, my biology undergrad major was granted twenty five years ago, I'm twenty years married to a man who gets laid frequently. He gets that because he's kind and understands that "not all women" and "not all men" is basic to forming our social group. Edit/ marital rape was fine in ancient Greece, unless her father disagreed. Is that not oppressiv… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/02/25 03:40 AM |
| 2 | Lysistrata(Side comment, your formatting style actually makes it much more difficult to follow what you are trying to communicate, and it's very curious. Why do you do that?) I find this fascinating. So if I understand you correctly, the position is that men more than women value the mental component of being desired? I completely credit that every human being on the planet wants to feel desired, to experience being wanted by someone they want. But nearly all the sex research I've read, like looking at fM… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/02/25 03:29 AM |
| 1 | Why do women feel single childless men are obligated to date single-moms???Mm-mm, I think Darth revan is describing civil discourse, I'm not convinced it always happens here. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/02/25 03:09 AM |
| 5 | Why do women feel single childless men are obligated to date single-moms???He describes her as having a bullying tirade, but he doesn't understand her reason behind it. So his question here is hopefully trying to understand her position. I do think it would be better to ask her, seeing as she's not Everywoman, but this thread as a question isn't without merit. Maybe he is hoping to have a more calm discussion with her next time after she cools off. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/02/25 03:07 AM |
| 0 | LysistrataIt's ok to ease up on the insults, I'm a biology major who understands full well that my education about history is incomplete. Which is why I came here with genuine questions, trying to understand the positions of the other redditors here, which are sometimes simplistic. The play is what said the men were acting like idiots last the point of reason. Yes, I'm aware that Aristophanes wrote several satires about gender and about war. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/02/25 08:01 PM |
| 5 | LysistrataWithin Lysistrata, the war came first. Two decades of war before the fictional sex strike was introduced. The play was produced 7 years before the actual war ended. How does that fit in with your first paragraph? ... Honestly though, I do think that it's normal for a certain amount of tussling and competing to occur. Pacifists that are getting laid enjoy participating in combat sports such as fencing or karate, or very physical ones such as rugby, and while women do participate not at the same r… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/02/25 06:45 PM |
| 6 | LysistrataA) blanket statements aren't helpful discourse (how's that for a blanket statement lol) B) if they were, it would be more accurate to say that, for men, they have always been idiots about belligerently warring past the point of rational action Because C) the prolonged war actually happened and the idea of the sex strike was invented (by a man) as an artistic tool and did not happen. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/02/25 06:36 PM |
| – | It's perfectly valid for inexperienced men to feel insecure about their sexual performance while dating a much more experienced women, as society constantly puts the burden of good sex on men.Not exactly defending starfish, but if sex were defined by being penetrated it would happen a lot less often in my marriage. It can be hard on the body to take a pounding. If my husband gets into my head correctly with the filthy talk, we can have some very nice sex where he gets to come and my underwear never shifts, he can lay back and let me take care of him if he keeps his mouth running right. The is a parallel conversation to the orgasm disparity topic. Yes he makes me cum, but at other tim… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/02/25 06:21 AM |
| 1 | Do you oppose or support men being able to legally cut ties with children not biologically their’s in the case of late stage paternity misattribution?Why not? How would you feel if your spouse hired a secret private investigator? Would you feel trusted by them? Respected? Happy to continue having sex with someone who so strongly believes you are unfaithful that they will spend money behind your back to investigate? What about this is confusing? Note that I've included both scenarios where suspicions have strong reasons, and where they don't - and honestly either way that's a fracture that should lead to at least temporary separation. If there… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/02/25 05:36 AM |
| 0 | Do you oppose or support men being able to legally cut ties with children not biologically their’s in the case of late stage paternity misattribution?Does it make sense to you that secretive or demanded paternity testing should mean the man has to move out and have no sexual contact? Either he's doing it for good reasons, in which case he should move out, or he's doing it for disrespectful paranoia, in which case he should also move out. As in, maybe they can repair the fracture and move back together after a few weeks, but that's an enormous accusation that should also have repercussions. For either motive. Or far more ideally, they talk tog… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/02/25 11:57 PM |
| 1 | Do you oppose or support men being able to legally cut ties with children not biologically their’s in the case of late stage paternity misattribution?I think my answer is going to annoy you. It is currently legally typical and I think also morally correct to take the needs of the child above the needs of the adults. He didn't pay attention to his marriage or build trust or choose correctly or whatever, and at 12 years he's on the hook unless there's another person or program that is going to support the child. He could legally pursue finding the genetic father, which most courts would allow, they just don't want to remove one support without … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/02/25 10:34 PM |
| 1 | Do you oppose or support men being able to legally cut ties with children not biologically their’s in the case of late stage paternity misattribution?So does my answer feel complete? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/02/25 10:07 PM |
| 1 | Do you oppose or support men being able to legally cut ties with children not biologically their’s in the case of late stage paternity misattribution?I suppose part of my response is indeed outside your scope. INFO: does this hypothetical man wish to cut ties with the child out of feeling betrayed by the wife and therefore the child representing a symbol? As in paternity testing as proof of infidelity? Or would this hypothetical man want to keep his wife but either surrender the child or require her to be the only active parent? In other words, is his motivation about wanting his genetics dispersed and not having interest in other people's ki… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/02/25 09:52 PM |
| – | Men, stop whining about women not wanting to passionately f*ck youShare with me the reference who is Naota? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/02/25 10:13 PM |
| – | Men, stop whining about women not wanting to passionately f*ck youI feel this is true in nearly every endeavor. SELL yourself, and boldly pursue And I know all the guys reading along are going to say "duh" but I wish I had been taught this more when I was a young woman instead of being constantly told to be demure. Last night I spent a while giving some critiques to my teen daughter about an essay application to a volunteer thing. She's brilliant, she'll be fine. But despite that, her essay was full of these little self deprecations - I'm vague, I'm uncertain … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/02/25 08:23 PM |
| – | Men, stop whining about women not wanting to passionately f*ck youWell ... how do we speak powerfully about this? Has it been measured? Are there articles? Are there experiences anecdotally from young men trying to be 23 years old in sharia law and understanding that the concept of older men getting 4 wives doesn't make mathematical sense for young men on average getting any? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/02/25 06:28 PM |
| – | Men, stop whining about women not wanting to passionately f*ck youPerhaps this is the only way to persuade them. Outcomes. Buttoning women up and reserving them for old men really results in young men going without and being sacrificed for the cult. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/02/25 05:44 PM |
| – | Men, stop whining about women not wanting to passionately f*ck youI think this is important to emphasize. In heavily redpill, trad style cultures, even fewer men get laid and and not until older. Let the clarion call be amplified. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/02/25 04:56 PM |
| 1 | Women ,how do you prefer to split bills in your relationship and after *if* you have kids ?Hon, in real life I'm the auntie at the jazz festival, at the civic center meeting, at the ridiculous let's roll pumpkins down this road fall festival. I am and most women my age who find a young person that doesn't act hateful, we are vigorously setting them up. Get good with the aunties. They will look out for you. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/02/25 05:23 AM |
| 1 | Q4All: is this "the right" thing to do?I had a sort of similar real life situation - in my undergrad degree program I pushed and signed up for a 500 level class (grad level). Cellular and molecular biology, we used to call it "hell and molec" with equal parts fondness and rage. It was an appropriately challenging class. Anyhow I had to find a whole new study group for that, and lucked into a handful of five sitting near me. Mixed men and women. We met up weekly to try to keep up with the class and quiz eachother. Three months in, one… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/02/25 04:12 AM |
| 3 | Women ,how do you prefer to split bills in your relationship and after *if* you have kids ?I think more people need to share their stories. I've been making an effort to expose myself by sharing my early stories and I try to draw my parents out. Not to be prurient but I think the young people should know. My parents remain discreet, but they met because the house she was renting a room in during her master's degree program had a room posted for rent, when he moved in there for a year internship. They were roomies from near to the day they met and they won't confess it but I think they… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/02/25 07:41 PM |
| 8 | Women ,how do you prefer to split bills in your relationship and after *if* you have kids ?Friend, seriously. Genuinely. How does it help you, or help the general dating community, or positively impress other young men or women to perpetuate that mindset that women hate men, or that women are somehow "perfect". Why boost that signal? Why repeat it in your head? I put forth nothing but positivity into my post, with my personal experience and recommendation for young men and women to both of them find success through de-emphasizing money and prioritizing conversation, making food togeth… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/02/25 03:42 PM |
| 2 | Women ,how do you prefer to split bills in your relationship and after *if* you have kids ?In dating, I had usually liked to either split bills or alternate paying, but really got around all that by almost never agreeing to do fancy things. So we would meet to go walk downtown, or go on a bike ride or whatever. I had exactly one boyfriend who kept trying to take me out to fancy places and it just wasn't my scene. When I met the man I married, I was between jobs - I had been hired but couldn't start until my CORI came through - so I had nothing coming in and pretty much insisted on coo… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/02/25 01:27 PM |
| 1 | How important is physical fitness to you?(disclaimer, CrossFit is a franchise and therefore highly variable and I don't feel great about some of the national or global decisions) The CrossFit gym closest to me is pretty excellent. They have physicians and PTs on staff and they are reliable about injury prevention behavior, finding excellent ways to scale for age, size, injury. They are also straightforward in the first day pitch - we are here, among other reasons, to help you look better when you are naked. There's something charming a… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/02/25 07:51 PM |
| 1 | What happens to men when they finally get sex and are no longer interested in it?Some were, some were not. And the whole point of this tangential sub thread is that much of the longing and despair could be eased by emotional intimacy. It's not everything, I feel as though I have to qualify every single damn time I say this that it's ok to experience lust and to want sex. But guys need someone to fix their shirt collar and tell them they look handsome, to want to come watch their sport game or art show. (Just as gals do). If they get more of that, there would be less pressure… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/02/25 06:02 PM |
| 3 | What happens to men when they finally get sex and are no longer interested in it?The average age of female or male sexual debut in the USA for adolescents is slightly over 17. I'm not saying they should do that, or that the risk of pregnancy or emotional concerns or STI is worthwhile or fair. I'm simply saying it's clinically normal. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/02/25 04:45 AM |
| 2 | What happens to men when they finally get sex and are no longer interested in it?If I understand you correctly, this where I either think you're wrong or headed in the wrong direction. I'm a lusty person. I'm all about the sex, yup. I need it on the regular from my husband, I compliment people about their hotness and send them home to their own partner. I do not think it's great to assume immediate sex. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/02/25 04:14 AM |
| 2 | What happens to men when they finally get sex and are no longer interested in it?A zillion times agree with everything you describe. I'm a woman, a parent of an objectively attractive teenage girl, and I fiercely want for her to experience discovering sexuality as something that happens in a way that is expected to feel good, to be consensual, pleasant, enjoyable. If she has a boyfriend, I will invite him to hang around and play cards with us, to roast food over the fire, to go on a hike, because anyone she is sexually interested in is someone I'm socially interested in. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/02/25 04:05 AM |
| 1 | What happens to men when they finally get sex and are no longer interested in it?I had serious, beautiful, yearlong relationships with no penetration sex, where we did take care of eachother emotionally and blowing loads, just no penetration. But in the end it doesn't matter what I did, the Pew research poll describes that young teen males actually prefer emotional intimacy. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/02/25 03:58 AM |
| 2 | What happens to men when they finally get sex and are no longer interested in it?So, my skin in the game at this point is that I've got two teenagers who aren't quite dating yet, and it looks like it's all turned into a shit show and I want to know how to talk to them about it, help them survive the experience. One of the authors I'm finding impressive is Dr. Amy Schalet out of UMass. She has published work about adolescent sexuality in relation to parental attitudes, which is where I stumbled across her. Her more recent works focus on young male sexuality - and it's a bit s… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/02/25 01:57 AM |
| 0 | Gender advantages in datingI think that certain subsets of the dating market - specifically the apps - have accumulated women who expect to be paid for. I married before the apps were a thing so my impression is external, but when I watch the people around me who are teens and early twenties, my coworkers and cousins who are in their thirties in the dating market right now - the apps are concentrating a certain behavior which often includes entitlement around money issues and how quickly things progress physically. Just w… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/02/25 04:24 AM |
| 10 | I don’t understand why some men in the manosphere complain that men lose a lot in a divorce but also say they don’t care about a woman’s education, job, earnings etcNah, I know men who receive spousal support. You don't hear about it as much because not as many men damage their career trajectory to support their wife, but it does happen. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/02/25 11:23 PM |
| 8 | A man should never publicly commit to fidelity to his SO, even if he is committed because women will lose respect for a man they don't need to "work for".Dubious men. You said it yourself. Women don't want to date dubious men. The first built point about bluntly stating you won't be faithful means you are dubious, and therefore not date worthy. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/02/25 09:48 PM |
| 3 | A man should never publicly commit to fidelity to his SO, even if he is committed because women will lose respect for a man they don't need to "work for".Death isn't a requirement of successful monogamy. A relationship can be successful, honest, faithful, and have an amicable end. By using words instead of being unfaithful. Campsite rules: leave people better than you found them. ... Want a story about a successful, monogamous relationship that ended? Looking back to long ago, my husband and I were each semi casually seeing other people when we were first introduced. The guy I had been with that entire earlier year we had actually gone so far as … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/02/25 09:45 PM |
| 4 | A man should never publicly commit to fidelity to his SO, even if he is committed because women will lose respect for a man they don't need to "work for".That phrase "you don't need to work for me" is not at all the same thing as dangling weird fidelity games. My husband of twenty years and I work for each other, to provide nice things, to make comfy space, to help each other heal from the daily stress of the outside world, to demonstrate to our kids what working for a long term commitment looks like. I've no shyness about it, I'm a catch. I'm slender, busty, lusty, higher educated, frugal, and carried his babies that he wanted. He is a catch, as… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/02/25 09:20 PM |
| 14 | A man should never publicly commit to fidelity to his SO, even if he is committed because women will lose respect for a man they don't need to "work for".I swear some dudes here are trying to shoot their own dick off I'm wheezing over here, this is so great. It's the perfect image of some young cutie trying so hard to handle a pistol, stuff it in his shorts like he's so macho, but no idea how to set the safety and indeed, self inflicted firearm injury to the gonads. OP, don't do this. Don't create stupid games. Be honest and authentic about your intentions, goals, behavior. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/02/25 08:28 PM |
| – | Q4M: Would you say you are a natural provider?Well, I did not eat breakfast yesterday, I was intermittent fasting, so I would answer your question the same way. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/02/25 08:19 PM |
| 2 | Men are so desperate it's patheticI wonder, to what end? What do guys hope to achieve with this desperation to find a woman? To end up with a nagging wife and ungrateful kids? Whoa that suddenly went to a different place really quickly. Internet memes to the contrary, women are interested in sex and romantic connection and affection and intimacy and reliably caring for men, just as men actually are interested in all of those things, not just the sex. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/02/25 07:46 PM |
| 7 | Q4M: Would you say you are a natural provider?Every part of this video is a turn off. As in, I do indeed expect my husband to be a natural provider, but I have a completely different definition of what that means. He's stacking firewood, he has organized the kids dental appointments and there's extra food on the shelves in the downstairs pantry. He selected a job that would provide health insurance for us and showed up. He has ensured that my vehicle has a wool blanket and a med kit in the trunk. Part of this is my aesthetic disinterest in … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/02/25 07:17 PM |
| 2 | Q4M: Would you say you are a natural provider?Are you describing that some people who are food insecure engage in soft sex work, swapping romantic attention (whether or not full sex) for food? Because yes, absolutely that happens. I don't aspire to it. But I haven't actually been food insecure and I don't know how that situation might change my stance. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/02/25 07:01 PM |
| 3 | Q4M: Would you say you are a natural provider?Completely. I'm a woman, married a long time, and there were phases where he did financially support me and it made me ... I don't want to say uncomfortable because he made it be ok but it was vulnerable and weird for me. In the early part of our relationship he was earning a lot more. I was always cheerfully and quite happy organizing dates like hiking or cooking at home, please do not spend money on me. Then I entered grad school and it made financial sense for me to need to find an apartment … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/02/25 03:25 PM |
| – | Thirsty men arent good and good men arent thirsty.Neh, I don't even hang around here that much and I see this OP as a troll. I'm a huge supporter of what I like to call "fizz" which is probably just lust or horniness. With the idea that it's fine to recognize it in other people, and choose to behave in socially appropriate ways, bring the energy home to your monogamous partner or handle it solo. Or flirt. I'm a fan of flirting. I've been monogamous for over two decades and no intention to change that, and I value the people around me who feel s… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/02/25 07:34 PM |
| 1 | Weaponsied IncompetenceNo the assumption is, women have preferred ways they would like to see the dishes loaded despite it not really being any more efficient, or negligibly more efficient, to such a small degree it is irrelevant. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/02/25 06:54 PM |
| 0 | Weaponsied IncompetenceGenuine question, what leads you to bring it up? Why would you think that, it bring it up? Let alone bring it up as a pejorative? How is that insightful or helpful? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/02/25 06:37 PM |
| 1 | Weaponsied IncompetenceI just don't understand where you invented this being an inefficient irrelevant things that women invented? Why and how would you invent this out of nowhere from my family story of taking turns doing dishes? In reality, when my kids were younger, everyone had set chores in the house. My husband put away leftover food, I washed all the pots and pans and hand wash knives, the kids had specific responsibility about the animals, my daughter loaded the dishwasher and my son unloaded it. Over a few ye… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/02/25 06:34 PM |
| 2 | Weaponsied IncompetenceWow this thread is funny. The "correct way" is indeed only incrementally better, but it allows all the cups and bowls to drain instead of collecting water, and organizes the silverware so that the job of unloading is faster. 5% extra effort up front to save 10% labor later. And the "correct way" in our household was decided and socially enforced by the youngest child, who owned that chore completely for a few years before we all started rotating. He happens to be a boy. So this isn't a "woman th… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/02/25 06:27 PM |
| 9 | Weaponsied IncompetenceHehe. For their earlier years my kids had dishwasher duty, the elder loaded it and the younger unloaded it. Now that they're high schoolers we all rotate those house chores, so everyone gets a chance to load and unload the dishwasher and boy do they complain when the spoons aren't oriented correctly or the smaller bowls are in the wrong spot. It's not specific to the gender, it's a learned thing. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/02/25 03:29 PM |
| 7 | Sexualization isn’t inherently wrong - it’s all about the where, when and who.Other people being shitty is a right we have at least in liberal society. Other people staring is rude, it seems we agree. Rude isn't illegal, but neither does it get people friends, promotions, relationships. So it's valuable to teach the young to not stare, just as we teach them to not fart in elevators. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/02/25 09:51 PM |
| 7 | Sexualization isn’t inherently wrong - it’s all about the where, when and who.It's not ok to stare. Glances are fine, but it's not ok to stare. I don't disbelieve your story of just spacing out in someone's general direction - yes some people overcall it or try to leverage you incidentally being there to create some kind of weird thrill between them for her boyfriend - but this is like porn. Realistically, most people know it when they see it. You know what it's like when someone looks at your crotch, and how it would feel to have people staring at your lack of groin bulg… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/02/25 09:01 PM |
| 13 | What do you think about a man that uses a sex toy to masturbate?In my marriage I'm the assigned sex toy purchaser, for things we use together and separately. As with anything else, it's only a problem if it starts to take time and attention away from other things like work or relationships. Even when the sex together is brilliant, there are times when a person just wants to have solo sex, and that's fine, and sometimes it's better with toys. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/02/25 08:54 PM |
| 8 | Sexualization isn’t inherently wrong - it’s all about the where, when and who.I try really hard to boost this message because I think part of what's messed up about young people dating these days it's when they feel as though they are bad or evil for having sexual thoughts. It's normal, and healthy to recognize other people who are attractive. We are animals. Our bodies will respond to attractive attributes. That's ok. Just keep the glance fleeting and firmly control your mind to not change your decisions or behaviors. Don't stare. Don't presume that a person's body affec… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/02/25 07:09 PM |
| – | Vast Majority of Women are Landing Men Who Were In Romantic Exile, and They Know ItI'm a zillion percent trying to teach my teenagers that it's chill to invite dinner parties, we will provide the hot dogs, bonfire, marshmallows and leave you alone while you're roasting them. Socializing is a learned skill. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/02/25 03:22 AM |
| 2 | Do women change preferences organically or is there something else at play?So I’m curious: Have you noticed this shift in yourself or the women around you? And do you think there’s any harm in admitting that attraction isn’t just about love, it’s about timing? It's not gendered. I have watched myself, my male and female friends, my parents friends who are dating, my younger coworkers, my teenage kids' friends, all of them go through stages. They are young and immature and seeking excitement and variety .. and later they are more interested in stability. It seems you re… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/02/25 02:07 AM |
| 3 | Complaining about accountability and nagging, means you don't understand relationshipsSo if you see it, can you spread it around your group that everyone is important? This is why women run away from groups that insist that women have lesser roles. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/02/25 09:19 PM |
| 2 | Do women change preferences organically or is there something else at play?Maybe it's a formatting mix-up but the only line that came through in bold was the line "fantasy in place of see me desire". Do you have particular interest in this? Or did I miss the emphasis? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/02/25 09:15 PM |
| 7 | Complaining about accountability and nagging, means you don't understand relationshipsAnd woven. Intertwined. No one more important than the other. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/02/25 07:28 PM |
| 26 | Complaining about accountability and nagging, means you don't understand relationshipsI think another poster picked the right word. Adversarial. OP take is excessively adversarial. Since I'm married and mostly around people with strong relationships, I can observe that nearly always there is a strong give and take. Ending in an even leadership. People recognize that one person is really good at budgeting and the other really good at maintaining important family connection, one person is good at keeping the car running and another good at making certain there is good sufficient fo… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/02/25 06:02 PM |
| 2 | Do women change preferences organically or is there something else at play?Also, people are a bit like avocados. They're not ready, they're not ready, they're not ready, then it's the right weekend and you simply have to make loads of guacamole to keep up. Men and women both. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/02/25 11:50 PM |
| 5 | Do women change preferences organically or is there something else at play?Ever look into the psychology of the adolescent and young adult brain? This isn't a man and women thing, this is a normal evolution in impulse control, a need to explore, and to value peer opinions over those of adults, that happens between about age 12 and 25. The phrase they throw around is that "the frontal lobe isn't fully developed" which I disagree with. It makes kids and young adults sound brain damaged, and the truth is way more complex - there are evolutionary factors in play that stron… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/02/25 08:56 PM |
| 2 | Positive MasculinityAbsolute crickets? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/02/25 10:29 PM |
| 2 | Positive MasculinityI guess I don't understand, then. Can you please provide some samples of things that are positive among men but not women? Edit/ to be clear Are women not valued to be protective, strong, lusty, taking care of other people types? Positive attributes are positive, throughout. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/02/25 05:14 PM |
| 2 | Positive MasculinityI will edit the post to attend to the comment, not the person. Thank you | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/02/25 04:27 PM |
| 1 | Positive MasculinityGood grief that comment is goofy. The very top post in that thread is very positive about masculinity, I'll quote it. Positive masculinity is any man doing generally positive things, and they look very different depending on the man. It could be humor, empathy, generosity, kindheartedness, love of nature, love of animals, care for their community, healthy relationship with their spouse, support for friends, artistry, mastery of a craft, dependability, self-expression, cooking, cleanliness, fashi… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/02/25 03:51 PM |
| – | Its very rare for a man to find a woman who genuinely likes him for who he is as a human being, instead of what he provides.Oh hon. I just want to give you a hug and a mug of tea and some lasagna and sit you down and ask you about your work or school. Value you for yourself. None of the people in my life, the men or the women, would be caught dead treating other people that way that you describe, we would shame them endlessly. So likewise as I would treat a friend, I ask WTF is going wrong with you right now that you describe the majority of women as harridans, harpies. Your characterisation is of it being very rare … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/02/25 02:35 PM |
| -1 | Do men really prefer women who dress modestly?This is a zillion times the correct answer. There are loads of men that care desperately and loads of men that are waiting for you to get over your internalized issue. Trouble being distinguishing them. Gotta talk. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/02/25 04:51 AM |
| 5 | Telling women to be traditional is wrong, you can’t control someone else’s actions, only your own.Good gravy. First of all, hypergamy isn't real it's a story that a small subset of guys use to either emotionally abuse other guys, or else absolve themselves of any control over why gals ended relationship with them. Either way, weird. Telling either gender to be a certain kind of way is not good. Allowing people to do what they want is great. The OP said some things I don't agree with, but that one sentence is truth. Can't control other people, just yourself. I know several dear people who hav… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/02/25 03:58 AM |
| 0 | CMV: You should always consider divorce as an option when entering a marriageLet's be clear, I love men, I'm in love with a man and married twenty years, I observe my father in his marriage of fifty years, I adore my sweet teenage son and see him on a path to be an excellent partner to someone. But. Your hypothesis isn't borne out. People who are married get nudged and dragged to health care, get reminded and supported in healthy behavior, marriage is not a result, it's a cause of longevity. Harvard links. unhealthy men actually marry earlier, are less likely to divorce,… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/02/25 09:54 PM |
| 0 | CMV: You should always consider divorce as an option when entering a marriageI also would prefer that there not be tax credits for marriage. Edit/ context I'm a top 10% earner in my state, if I were self interested I would not espouse this belief. I would far rather have a very simplified tax code, just take the money and provide the things that benefit society - provide functional roads, clean water, basic vaccination and childcare, libraries, fire fighting, fundamental health literacy. Stop giving these complicated bullshit credits and evasions, particularly for being … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/02/25 09:43 PM |
| 1 | What motivates you to be monogamous vs ENM?It just looks like so much work. As in, I'm a believer that it's possible, I'm not rejecting it without thought. Edit/context: I'm monogamously married twenty years. In fact I think I may be responsible for one polya relationship that's going to hit three years soon, going strong. My friend was unaware of the concept of ENM and had been raised very traditionally, so getting hit on by a woman who he knew is married was messing with his head. That day, I just wanted him to take a moment to bask in… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/02/25 09:32 PM |
| 2 | CMV: You should always consider divorce as an option when entering a marriageTruth. Let's not shy away from speaking about things simply because they're fucked up. In fact we might be able to decrease fucked up stuff by talking about it more. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/02/25 08:47 PM |
| 3 | CMV: You should always consider divorce as an option when entering a marriageI sense great anger in you, Skywalker. Great fear and hate, and anger. Also, what sort of emotionally unaware person writes an entire paragraph repeatedly referring to "man", "men" and "females"? Do you not see the signature stigmata of where you've been hanging out (incel world). Yes, please do not get married. Women have smaller muscles and less bone density, true. But we are the yin to the yang, being joined increases the life expectancy of a man. As compared to single, separated or widowed m… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/02/25 05:31 PM |
| 6 | CMV: You should always consider divorce as an option when entering a marriageLike, if my wife gets cancer and I say "you're no fun anymore, I'm leaving you to die alone" most people (including me) would think that that's really shitty. And yet so common that upon intake into cancer care, the social workers specifically talk about it. Being a woman with cancer increases the risk of being divorced by your husband by 6 times as compared to a man with cancer. Mostly I'm agreeing with you, but these are truths that people should be aware of. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/02/25 05:17 PM |
| 2 | Is there any evidence that conservative men prefer liberal women?This article has some data about the inverse, about liberal women and their dating preference. Perhaps you can find the info you seek in there; I didn't drill into their sources. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/02/25 04:56 AM |
| 1 | What type of feminist are you? Marxist/Socialist Feminist, Liberal Feminist, Radical Feminist, or something else?Liberal feminist. And chatgpt mostly exacerbates underlying contentiousness. I'm a huge fan of my cousin benefiting from "blind orchestral audition" where the entire hiring process occurs behind a screen, no name, no speaking, no gender. Obvi, that's more difficult in client facing jobs. But we can try. Anyhow, I love men, I married one, I love my dad and my brother and my son and several close male friends and colleagues. Men are great. But I do wish that opportunities were a bit more equal. I'… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/02/25 08:38 PM |
| 2 | Why men shouldn’t take women’s fear of men she doesn’t know personallyI do agree that it's native to most men to be protective, kind and good. I've witnessed it and I feel the data bears it out. The way I process it is like seatbelts. I've been driving for thirty years. I've had two minor accidents, never really injured. I wear my seatbelt every single time I drive, not because I think I'm going to get into an accident today but because the issue is high stakes, even if it's low probability. I think guys are probably the same, there's some little piece of your rep… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/02/25 06:36 PM |
| 1 | Why men shouldn’t take women’s fear of men she doesn’t know personallyI trained hard and I was good at kata, but it took me legit two years to stop flinching and closing my eyes in sparring. Maybe I'm just inherently not good at it, despite doing the muscle conditioning etc. Never did MMA, always various forms of classical karate, judo was my most modern style, and that's essentially a modern form of jujitsu, only 140 years old. ... Though I reside in a first world nation, I've had interaction with women who didn't. The objects that neutralize the physical dispari… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/02/25 06:30 PM |
| – | Ladies, what was the biggest and the smallest erect penis you have seen? Which do you prefer?They're opposite ways to shame a child /young adult, but they mirror in compelling ways. Preadolescent boys do have small, hairless genitals, which change as they grow. The trope is to undersexualize and shame them if they do not change much. Preadolescent girls have flat chests, which change as they grow. The trope is to hypersexualize and shame them if they grow too much. For men, it seems that remaining child-like is a burden, but for women a blessing. Interesting. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/02/25 06:19 PM |
| 1 | Men typically have an external locus of control mindset when it comes to dating and generally underestimate the effectiveness of working on themselvestop 1 to 5% of men on dating apps This is because the dating apps self select for an incredibly shallow, cruel percentage of the population. Used by only about a third ever and 13% currently. link I would posit that many or even most of the reasonable people, the kind people are not on the apps. People who choose to spend time in a grifty space programmed by software engineers that want to keep you scrolling instead of succeeding ... are going to find they get treated poorly or are interacting w… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/02/25 05:10 PM |
| 1 | What's your take on different solutions to a loss of passion in a LTR?I think it's most easily sorted into basic optimists and pessimists. Or "internal locus of control" vs not. The redpill vs bluepill divisions in the OP seem pretty artificial. The "trappings" - flowers, vibrators whatever, are unimportant themselves. Sometimes they can be a marker of someone who is likely going to be paying attention to your breathing and how it changes when you get the inside of your hip kissed. I have the ability to keep myself up, be fit and groomed and have some interesting … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/02/25 02:41 PM |
| 1 | What's your take on different solutions to a loss of passion in a LTR?Living together kills the mystery and vibe But it creates so many lovely opportunities for such a wide variety of lovely sex and affection! The cozy cuddly kind, the lying in wait and pouncing kind. I quite like cohabitation with my lover. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/02/25 02:24 PM |
| 2 | What's your take on different solutions to a loss of passion in a LTR?I don't disagree, but the formatting makes my brain hurt, so that's the feedback. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/02/25 02:21 PM |
| 3 | What's your take on different solutions to a loss of passion in a LTR?I completely didn't read that in there. I looked at those same sentences and I saw "deciding to bravely accept that he likes my body even with my stretch marks" and "being willing to try saying corny horny cheesy things behind closed doors even if it feels silly" and "sure we can try feet one or two times, well that was about as unexciting as I thought it would be". Let's you and me both see this as a reflection of our inner thoughts, projected into this other redditor. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/02/25 02:19 PM |
| – | Ladies, what was the biggest and the smallest erect penis you have seen? Which do you prefer?Oh no need to make anything up this already exists. It's even simpler and more obvious with women. Any woman who has large breasts is assumed to be stupid and sexually easy. This stinks because it's not simply inside the gender, it's a way that both men and women treat women with large breasts, and one can't even hide them with clothes. Wearing a "minimizer" compression bra and a baggy shirt makes one look overweight. There's no way to hide from the judgement. This business of media and culture … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/02/25 12:58 PM |
| 2 | Why men shouldn’t take women’s fear of men she doesn’t know personallyGently, I think that magnifying the signal isn't good. There are a few women that hate loudly, just as there are a few men who incel loudly. The majority of both don't. Focusing on it too much aggravates it, like a dog creating a lick granuloma. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/02/25 12:46 PM |
| 2 | Why men shouldn’t take women’s fear of men she doesn’t know personallyNo hate! Actually, as a lesson to me, would you show me where there is hate in my post? I do see where I express fear that may seem gendered, but also trust. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/02/25 05:14 AM |
| 2 | Why men shouldn’t take women’s fear of men she doesn’t know personallyThis also directly relates that while I'm an empowered modern woman who in job situations feels fine assigning roles to men and women, at a basic level I do feel aware. I've never been physically assaulted but I've cared for too many who have. I hate it but I do have that little moment when I get into the elevator with a man, and the reptile part of my brain starts thinking, could he hurt me, would we be ok, where would I punch him. I love men, I'm married and daughter and mother and sister and … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/02/25 05:07 AM |
| – | Ladies, what was the biggest and the smallest erect penis you have seen? Which do you prefer?culturally accepted as shameful, whether you're straight, gay or a child. By men. In the end, women can't fix man on man emotional violence. We can get swept up in it and we should do our best to not do so, but there comes a point at which guys gotta just stop being horrid to each other when they are the foundation of this shit. Women just don't care as much as men, and if men could deeply feel that, deeply understand that what we really want is attentiveness, that would go a long way toward hea… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/02/25 04:58 AM |
| 2 | Why men shouldn’t take women’s fear of men she doesn’t know personallyI've had ... (counting it up) Ten years of various martial arts training in coed situations. I also happen to be a physically large person for a woman, I was 6' before I started shrinking (I'm in my late forties). In every sparring situation with a man, from high school on up, I've been made completely aware that they have muscle and bone density that is beyond me. It's related to native hormones. As in, I'm a completely secure women who works in a male dominated field, I've no issue holding my … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/02/25 04:15 AM |
| 1 | Why men shouldn’t take women’s fear of men she doesn’t know personallyNo, but it is reasonable to lock your doors and watch your purse more closely in neighborhoods that have more crime. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/02/25 04:07 AM |
| – | Ladies, what was the biggest and the smallest erect penis you have seen? Which do you prefer?And half those links are about boys/ men caring about this more than girls/women. In no way do I support assault, exposure, embarrassment, teasing, bullying of boys or men. About the size or shake of their genitals or for any other reason. But when the rubber meets the road, girls and women care about someone who is attentive. A quote from your link: Men's pre-occupation with size was rarely to do with pleasing sexual partners or even appearing as a better sexual partner," Dr Chan said. "It was … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/02/25 03:46 AM |
| 1 | Ladies, what was the biggest and the smallest erect penis you have seen? Which do you prefer?Mm-mm... I'm long time married and monogamous, I think you're talking to the wrong person. I also screen and counsel people after STI exposure and behind closed doors I think you in particular would be surprised at the women who ask for advice to mitigate the pain of a big dick. Seems as though online and at the sports events it's mostly guys talking about dick size. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/02/25 01:32 AM |
| 1 | Ladies, what was the biggest and the smallest erect penis you have seen? Which do you prefer?Nearly daily there's some thread on r/sex about people who are having less sex because there's a size mismatch and the erection is just too big, either it hurts during or after. There are ways to get around it, positions to seek or avoid, and even products sold to restrict depth. link to OhNut seller I don't disagree with you that this is a trope in erotica and porn, but when you start talking to real life people, sex therapists, gynecologists, this is a huge (haha) issue. Real life women on a r… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/02/25 01:28 AM |
| 1 | Ladies, what was the biggest and the smallest erect penis you have seen? Which do you prefer?That's no more universally true than the awful things that a certain subset of men do. As in, sure there are some assholes out there who get magnified on the Internet, but it's not really a universal thing. And really, I do think this is most often man on man bullying. r/sex has frequent threads about how to use positions or bumpers to mitigate dicks that are unfortunate in size (annoying big) not cute, not leading to frequent sex or orgasm. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/02/25 01:20 AM |
| 2 | Ladies, what was the biggest and the smallest erect penis you have seen? Which do you prefer?I think this is a bit like roses. As in some people actually like roses, but there's now this huge cultural symbology around cut roses. It's to a degree that it supports a pretty ugly market that supports heavy use of pesticide and flying the flowers from one continent to another. Just relax. Let the most of us be chill with normal guys that pay attention to us normally and have normal bodies and expect us to have normal bodies. Chill. There can be some people who are huge into roses, tell them … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/02/25 09:53 PM |
| 3 | Ladies, what was the biggest and the smallest erect penis you have seen? Which do you prefer?And it even makes sense, I mean, in the final moments before a guy orgasms he swells a bit bigger and harder, so they have a lifetime of inextricably associating looking/feeling/being bigger with pleasure. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/02/25 06:57 PM |
| 9 | Ladies, what was the biggest and the smallest erect penis you have seen? Which do you prefer?I'm completely certain that guys care about this way more than gals do. I've seen an enormous range, partly through dating experience but also partly because I work in the emergency department seeing people do stupid stuff, and they come in with metal cock rings or dildos or describing ridiculous stuff they did with partners just before arriving. Guys care more. Way more. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/02/25 06:55 PM |
| 1 | Treat attraction like a non-negotiableI'd at times felt put off when I got the sense a man was trying to hard to impress. I felt much better about being invited into his regular life to see if we fit. All my data is twenty years out of date. The range. As in I once got invited to join a man with his friends at a ski chalet, and it actually felt pretty natural. His friends were easy going, funny, played board games, we all skied. It was way outside my financial situation, but it didn't feel forced or awkward or performative. We didn'… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/02/25 06:45 PM |
| 4 | What do you guys think of never stop datingI think this is wayyyyyy less lopsided than you are making it out to be. Don't make yourself into a victim. It's natural for any person to look at a complicated situation from the outside and to empathize with the person they most resemble. So I'm not surprised that you would look at relationship and assume that it's a certain way. But those lopsided situations aren't actually normal. Or particularly more common than the other stupid stereotype of a man expecting dinner and a clean house, but ze… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/02/25 11:27 AM |
| 2 | What do you guys think of never stop datingthe affection or love itself feels like a condition you have to unlock by showing love. I mean, yeah. Obviously. For both parties. And not just inside romantic relationships, I show my affection and caring for my friends and family by doing little acts of service, giving little gifts, inquiring into their life in ways that show I pay attention. I show the love. I listen to my husband of twenty years vent when he's frustrated about a project, I rub his back, I take care to stock and cook the food… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/02/25 11:05 AM |
| 5 | Treat attraction like a non-negotiableYou are growing on me. At first the comments seemed way too guarded and cynical, but it's coming around. Particularly with saying that it should all be essentially mutual, with an open mind for genuine conversation. My own love story I think illustrates what you're describing. My friend was dating his roommate, she took me out for drinks to catch up and arranged for me to crash in the spare room as it was a long drive. Blatant setup. Anyhow, it turned into a weekend of chatting, cooking together… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/02/25 10:50 AM |
| 0 | Which professions are green flags and red flags in women?Medicine is pretty toxic right now. It's not just stupid insane hours that don't respect your time off, your dinner, your end of shift, your half of the holidays (right because who would even expect to not work half of holidays and overnights), but people don't seem to even respect the idea of lunch or personal space. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/02/25 03:36 AM |
| 1 | Men don't care much about women's socioeconomic status, though if given the option may even make the effort to go for lower socioeconomic womenAaareerrgg I'm hugely about valuing other people and their skills, some of which are with certificates and degrees. I'm having a tough time figuring out exactly why this post so particularly provoked me In grammar it seems to be trying to make space for people to not want higher education and yet somehow it still feels aggressive. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/02/25 10:37 PM |
| 2 | Men don't care much about women's socioeconomic status, though if given the option may even make the effort to go for lower socioeconomic women...as a doctor, please allow me to enthusiastically appreciate many other people with degrees. As in, I'm an emergency physician, I like my degree. I cannot function at my job without people who have Masters degree in nursing, social work, law, physical therapy, occupational therapy, child psychology, business. Our plumbers, IT staff, electronics, programmers, trainers may sometimes or not have specific degrees but they often have specific certificates that are important. The medics that we work… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/02/25 10:14 PM |
| 2 | Men don't care much about women's socioeconomic status, though if given the option may even make the effort to go for lower socioeconomic womenJust because your family prefers uneducated/undriven women doesn't mean that's usual or normal. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/02/25 07:08 PM |
| 1 | Men don't care much about women's socioeconomic status, though if given the option may even make the effort to go for lower socioeconomic womenwe are not shallow that way while women are. Sigh | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/02/25 06:55 PM |
| 2 | How do you operate your finances with your partner?I've had several different phases that reflected different phases of our marriage. (Spoiler it's twenty years in and working fine) During engagement, I never thought I would be a person to marry before living together. I could not afford an apartment without a roommate. I casually mentioned my plans to my them boyfriend and after a few weeks contemplation he returned that he was my silent roommate, pulling half so that we should have great weekends if wanted. It was a nice was to ease into it. A… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/02/25 06:41 PM |
| 3 | Men don't care much about women's socioeconomic status, though if given the option may even make the effort to go for lower socioeconomic womenWell, that's an opinion. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/02/25 05:23 PM |
| 1 | Men don't care much about women's socioeconomic status, though if given the option may even make the effort to go for lower socioeconomic womenConfused sound? As in, I do certainly see that fewer men are matriculating, but often it's because they are finding success in the trades. Which is not less valuable, admirable. I wish that anyone who genuinely wants to go to university can find a path to do so. But also, there's plenty of men and women both who ended up going to university out of inertia rather than drive. Anyhow, Trump fucked the student loan programs, so I think everyone should be really really cautious this next while. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/02/25 05:20 PM |
| 18 | Men don't care much about women's socioeconomic status, though if given the option may even make the effort to go for lower socioeconomic womenObligatory hypergamy isn't real. But anyhow. Guys want smart successful gals, just as gals want smart successful guys. The conversation is better, the security in your partnership is better, if you are choosing to procreate, the genes are better. This isn't complicated. There only motivation to deliberately aim for someone of lower socioeconomic status when all else is similar, would be some sick desire for control. Not cute. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/02/25 02:34 PM |
| 8 | Does being sweet or childish with girls make you less sexually attractive?Sensitive and silly are fantastic, love it when he makes me laugh. The word "childish" doesn't fit with that. A man can be goofy while simultaneously being responsible. He can laugh and fool around while clearing the snow or the dishes. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/02/25 02:04 PM |
| 2 | Do you ever get tired of compliments?It's just great to realize it. Hey if you're employed, this translates really well into the professional space. Think about the idea that in each workday, you want to give one "kudos" or compliment to someone else, but not necessarily to them - better to their boss. Make a point of "managing people up". It feels good, it does good, it creates good. The karma comes back. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/02/25 06:24 PM |
| 2 | Do you ever get tired of compliments?I'm glad you are in a more stable situation. The thing to try to know about giving compliments is that while they don't fill an empty belly, neither do they starve it. It takes almost no energy and very little time to say something nice to someone else. You can give and receive compliments at any position without invalidating your other goals and needs. During pandemic, I was doing the groceries shopping for 8 other people who were frightened to go out. I'd get a list and go out. It felt awkward… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/02/25 01:11 PM |
| 2 | What keeps you happy in a relationship? What all do you need to be content?Short term, and long term. Short term: respect, honesty, attentiveness, fun. I wanted a partner in shenanigans to laugh and smooch with, who I knew would never lie to me or gossip about me. Someone who was eager to get to know and nibble all the ticklish spots and also be part of getting a group together to go sledding. Long term: I'm twenty years married now. Respect and honesty are huge. Fun is important but taking a backseat to reliability and discipline. Little shenanigans are great, and it … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/02/25 01:02 PM |
| 8 | Do you ever get tired of compliments?Compliments are great if they are genuine. Precisely. And best when about something under their control. Moving through life, I find it to be a really good feeling to be thinking about complimenting other people. If it's my kids, my parents, my husband, my coworker, the checkout clerk at the grocery, my friends, the stranger drinking coffee at the next table. I want to be that person who is noticing that someone really pulled their outfit together by choosing that scarf, or if they say something… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/02/25 12:35 PM |
| 3 | Feminism has made men weakThe information you seek will not be available. Beating and raping your wife was legal, acceptable and not measured in 1940. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/02/25 12:12 AM |
| 2 | Feminism has made men weakGood gravy. I was raised dyed in the wool feminist, as in my mom didn't take my dad's last name fifty years ago when that was a big deal. And they're still happily married today. This summer will actually be their fiftieth, we need to get on planning that. I was raised dyed in the wool feminist, as in from high school in the 90s my parents expected me to pay for half my dates and earn my own wage, study hard. I would be offended if anyone rigged a test for me. My cousin was one of the early prof… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/02/25 11:30 PM |
| 8 | Feminism has made men weakHow is that revenge to know your own family story? How is it revenge to want to prevent a previously common painful lack of opportunity? It is simply wanting another living being to not be in pain. Wanting everyone to be able to go to primary education and learn to read doesn't mean I hate men. Wanting everyone to have a chance at college, to open a bank account, to decide that they want to move to another city, get a credit card and live as a single for a bit, that doesn't mean they hate men. T… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/02/25 08:29 PM |
| 5 | Feminism has made men weakRight, blame me for the entire administrative team falling to notice and record that we are both physicians after hiring me as such. I'm plenty assertive, that BS lasted precisely one month and was followed by years of deliciously awkward formal meeting minutes listing everyone by first and last initial. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/02/25 08:23 PM |
| 3 | Feminism has made men weakBackup, friend. What are the examples in your life of how people cultivate masculinity? In my feminist life, the guys closest to me are encouraged to develop clubs and activities and friendships and networks. It's heteronormative but it's the men in the three closest houses that have the group chat to sort out the snow removal for us. It's a lovely healthy friendship among them. My late 70s father not only has regular social clubs that pretend to be sports, but sometimes plans and hosts lunch fo… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/02/25 07:33 PM |
| 8 | Feminism has made men weakI agree with you that law and much of culture lag behind what is true and good on this topic. I work in medicine and me and my team have cared for men who have been victims of assault and coercive sex and we take it exceedingly seriously. As in both anecdotally I can immediately recall several instances, which room they were in, some of their particulars. It's very delicate because it's a double whammy due to the cultural shame around not wanting to be perceived as victim, or feeling as though t… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/02/25 07:08 PM |
| 6 | Feminism has made men weakHow would you have described my vignette? What would you have recommended to do? Nationwide, 75% of the people with my certificate are men. If I let the disrespect slide, I'm a pushover. If I point it out, I'm a bitch. What to do? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/02/25 06:47 PM |
| 14 | Feminism has made men weakI'm nearly fifty, and my parents were in their thirties when they had me, my mom the youngest of six and my dad the middle of seven. So my family history is going to settle in the fifties and sixties. Since 1969, studies have shown no-fault divorce correlates with a reduction in female suicides and a reduction in intimate partner violence. A 2004 paper by economists Betsey Stevenson and Justin Wolvers found an 8 to 16% decrease in female suicides after states enacted no-fault divorce laws. They … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/02/25 06:11 PM |
| 6 | Feminism has made men weakEh, really? Not real to my lived experience. (By which I mean feeling oppressed and feeling imaginary, is this the thread in which I described unbalanced treatment in meeting minutes?) I think this is much about online outrage. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/02/25 06:07 PM |
| 18 | Feminism has made men weakYou're in pain, I'm sure your anecdotes are real. I don't doubt that there are assholes on every side. My dearest friend is a divorced man, his wife left when they had three kids under the age of five. Separation, divorce, abuse are never simple or pretty and no one come out without wounds. If they make it look that way, they are faking it. Gently, be open to the stories of your aunt's and grandmother's time, from before women could legally separate. Over and over you will hear family history of… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/02/25 05:38 PM |
| 3 | You can't justify loneliness by saying that some people are okay being lonely.I doubt many women would hike alone with other men as well. I've developed a few adult male friends like this, that I'd lunch alone with or share a close physical chore. Like I've a neighbor who's a great guy, we've gone on hikes with his family, I like his wife. He and my husband are closer than he and I, but when the time came to castrate his goats, he knew I was the least squeamish so I was over his house and the both of us wrestling with goats. Very close sweaty work. But the point really wa… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/02/25 05:32 PM |
| 5 | Feminism has made men weakMay I share a little story? Would it be more palatable if I confess that I'm a lusty woman, I love me my man, I initiate lots of the sex in my marriage of twenty years and he gets what he asks for. Ok, since that rubbish is sorted. Within the past decade I was attending a departmental meeting, and when the typed up minutes were distributed I noted that some of the other attendees were noted as Dr HislastName while I my comments were credited to MyFirstName even though we have the same degree and… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/02/25 05:21 PM |
| 29 | Feminism has made men weakYou're missing the point. The manisphere creates an evil windmill of feminism to joust against, and it's only representative of the online culture war, not reality. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/02/25 05:13 PM |
| 2 | You can't justify loneliness by saying that some people are okay being lonely.Well it depends on what your issue is as opposed to mine. If your issue is trying to get men sex, then yes. But my post is specifically separate to that, and there are people who are interested in engaging with it. You don't need to. If for you, all your need for social support, emotional intimacy, routine physical contact are sorted out, then perhaps your best engagement might be to describe how that works in your life outside of sexual relationship. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/02/25 03:09 PM |
| 3 | Marriage Is Clearly Illogical for Men Given The StatisticsIt's called an analogy. Any other endeavor that shows dedication over time would be fine, whether that's a tenderly cultivated orchard and perennial garden, or a long standing position in the local Big Brothers or local food bank. I've been married twenty years. This alt has been active and honest for years now, I'm not a bot nor lying about my situation. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/02/25 02:42 PM |
| 3 | You can't justify loneliness by saying that some people are okay being lonely.Oh certainly not completely. Note that the entire crux of my post is not that the sexual need or the romantic partner need is invalid, it's that nobody benefits when we stuff every other need into it. Make it simple and pure. And make it ok to get some of the other needs met elsewhere. I wouldn't want to eat the same food for every meal every day forever; it wouldn't be nutritionally complete nor satisfying. I get certain needs met with my husband, some others are more broadly satisfied by my so… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/02/25 02:33 PM |
| 6 | Marriage Is Clearly Illogical for Men Given The StatisticsIt's all a spectrum, friend. One would hope that marriage would be a big deal that you put some years into. If not, then marriage probably isn't something that would work out well. When I look at a resume, some large minority of the value in listing certificates and degrees isn't the content; it's that the candidate has demonstrated the hiring discipline to be able to slog through all the hoops, to pay attention to the details. They have an attention span. Those qualities do well inside long ter… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/02/25 12:06 PM |
| 8 | Marriage Is Clearly Illogical for Men Given The StatisticsAnd if I don't attend a training program for a class D license I can't expect to get a job driving a truck. It's a choice that I can make about what kind of options I want to have. The rules are the same for everyone, there's no point in being angry about gravity. I waited until my mid twenties, found a man whose parents had stayed together through adversity. I dated him until I knew we could "argue" without being petty and observed that he was genuinely forgiving and hard-working. We discussed … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/02/25 11:54 AM |
| 7 | You can't justify loneliness by saying that some people are okay being lonely.Interestingly, I have subset of friend groups that behave differently with physical space. Some have everyone give both a quick hug and cheek kiss hello and goodbye, and might even stand to talk with a hand resting on the forearm or shoulder, either gender. There's practically no physical space. Some, everyone gets a quick hug hello, even the guys. Some, the gals hug everyone and the guys wave. Some, everyone just says hi, there's no touch. My innermost circle of 3 platonic friends get real sque… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/02/25 11:45 AM |
| 2 | You can't justify loneliness by saying that some people are okay being lonely.I think this is more true than many posters here represent. So let's pull that apart. First, I do think they are also looking for sex, which is healthy and normal, but for the sake of this conversation let's put it to one side. What does the romantic companionship provide to a man? Does he want flowers and chocolate? Emotional support/sounding board when he's frustrated or proud about work or the things his aging parents sometimes do. Social support for remembering birthdays, planning Thanksgivi… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/02/25 11:39 AM |
| 11 | Marriage Is Clearly Illogical for Men Given The StatisticsJust don't choose to marry those weirdos that are high maintenance and selfish. My husband of twenty years spends way more money on his recreational favorite (ultralight hiking gear) than I do on mine (Contra dance). But let's note that I do not do hair, lashes, nails, fast fashion, we are both clean but not exactly stylish people. My paycheck direct deposits into the house account just as his did before he took early retirement at 53. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/02/25 11:20 AM |
| 10 | Marriage Is Clearly Illogical for Men Given The StatisticsWhy do you seem angry about this? Any big venture requires planning and research and has some risk. Whether that's planning a vacation in the Bahamas, deciding to remodel your kitchen or get a hair transplant, open a small business as a side gig - or to enter a serious legal commitment to another person such as marriage or adoption. Equally true for men and women. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/02/25 11:15 AM |
| 1 | For women that treat dating transactionally, do you think you are partially responsible for the commodification of sex and dating?Eh, I reject that either one is as common, I can't bring myself to paint either gender's misfits with such a broad brush. As in I agree that the type exists. However certain kinds of incels are also disproportionately loud online but I don't seem to meet them in real life. I read noisy comments and insta posts from horrible women that are boasting about taking men to the cleaners, but since high school, through my college and grad school, and into professional life every woman I know would be he… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/02/25 04:37 AM |
| – | Would the next generation of women be ok with a 60/40 split marriage?Woman, married twenty years now. The most recent ten years I've out-earned him, at first by probably 15 to 20%, and then he took early retirement. So essentially 100%. He manages our investments wisely so when the market is doing well I would give him credit for that. I didn't seek this, nor do I think it's terribly healthy to be so obsessively precise about this kind of thing. I mean, what do you do if you or your partner get a well earned raise or promotion? Refuse it based on the grounds that… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/02/25 04:26 AM |
| 5 | You can't justify loneliness by saying that some people are okay being lonely.Oh quite the opposite, I seek to clarify it. Lonely is not actually a synonym for horny. It's perfectly fine for people to seek sex. That's not lonely. People sometimes have sex and are left feeling even lonelier. Just encourage people to say what they really want. The strategies to get sex are not the same as the skills to not be lonely. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/02/25 01:41 AM |
| 1 | You can't justify loneliness by saying that some people are okay being lonely.No. I did not say give up on sex. I did not say to do or stop doing anything specifically aimed at getting sex. I said there are a bunch of wants that can be satisfied without being wrapped up in sex, and that shoehorning them into sex is making men sadder and more desperate. Also that it's not helpful to people when they are inaccurate or squeamish about understanding what they want. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/02/25 12:10 AM |
| 13 | You can't justify loneliness by saying that some people are okay being lonely.Just teach all young people to be decent human beings with opportunities to experience joy in multiple ways. This isn't "be ok with these things and give up on sex". This is "here's a set of skills and habits that are associated with longer lifespan, lower blood pressure, less depression, and by the way they also correlate with romantic success". Boys and young men aren't going to get these skills and habits out of thin air, we parents and aunties need to gently teach them. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/02/25 10:48 PM |
| 47 | You can't justify loneliness by saying that some people are okay being lonely.I get annoyed when I read people using the word lonely as some delicate euphemism for sex. It muddies the conversation. Priests and nuns live in communal settings. They have warm friendships, and meaningful deep lifelong social connections. Meals and activities are often taken together. There is always someone right there to bring soup when they are sick or to play cards or plan next week's programs. They may be celibate but they are not lonely. It's really really hard on men that for a variety … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/02/25 06:09 PM |
| 1 | You can't have "true equality" if you hate caring at men's feelings.Here's where my mama voice makes me want to both gently scold you and give you a cuddle, because I don't permit either my son or my daughter to generalize like that. They would never imply that an entire gender would typically auto do anything. I mean, maybe they do around where you live. I do not mean to call your lived experience a lie. But seriously, where I live my kids are both high schoolers now and all the friends of both sexes are seen as humans who have feelings and deserve civility. Th… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 06/02/25 04:11 AM |
| 3 | Are you woried about feminism?In case it provides any reassurance to you at all, the sexual assault and DV training I'm required to undergo to maintain my certifications and to be able to work all consistently consider the assault of men and women equally heinous. The language in the slide deck is always that of "blah blah the victim, he or she may feel blah blah". Here's an example of the type of research article we are exposed to - it calls out in the intro that 43.6% of women and 24.8% of men will experience sexual violen… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 06/02/25 03:59 AM |
| 1 | You can't have "true equality" if you hate caring at men's feelings.I mean, the kids were all sophomores in high school, they're practically babies. They're not thinking "high value" or "low value", they're thinking "that kid that I've known since kindergarten". I'm just glad to see all of them practicing good relationship skills and civility. We tell them it's campsite rules - you gotta leave it better than you found it. Don't be trashy. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/02/25 10:42 PM |
| 12 | Women , would you hook up with/date someone who doesn't share your political beliefs?I'm married now, but the most recent time I was dating, and all the guys that make me quietly tingle (and take the sexual energy home because I'm monogamous) are politically similar to me. I've been earnestly progressive/environmentalist since high school. I always was able to be friends with dissimilar people, heck my family sometimes goes on hiking trips or beach vacations with people that vote differently. But I would never feel sexually excited to want to hookup, let alone give someone acces… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/02/25 05:34 PM |
| 6 | You Can Never Trust a Woman Who Doesn't Have Intense Lust for You Nearly ImmediatelyWow. Particularly the title about not even being able to trust a woman who doesn't have intense lust for you nearly immediately. Several (most, nearly all) of my year long high school and college relationships were friends first. Now that I'm married, I must red-facedly report that the longer I work with a man, the more likely I am to have a wet dream about him. Not that I would ever act upon it to endanger my marriage or his, but being around the men I respect for months and years seems to prov… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/02/25 05:17 PM |
| 1 | You can't have "true equality" if you hate caring at men's feelings.As another vignette, my most recent experience with hearing about a boy in dating was third hand, my teen daughter relaying slight details about another couple in their grade. We've all known each other since the kids were in kindergarten, they're all good kids and the couple in question had been dating a few weeks. From the outside I think it was mostly expositive, showy more than anything, maybe they fooled around, but the tea was that the girl didn't have time for him. And for reasons of extr… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/02/25 05:03 PM |
| 6 | For women that treat dating transactionally, do you think you are partially responsible for the commodification of sex and dating?I think they're both yucky, as described. Seeing men as meal tickets is just as gross as seeing women as sex dispensers to insert a quarter. Difficulty is that sometimes makes sense for the person inviting the date to pay. But the person treated should offer to cover their half, or else feel a social obligation to return the favor in kind by planning and covering the next date, not in trade for sex. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/02/25 11:07 AM |
| 5 | You can't have "true equality" if you hate caring at men's feelings.I think another really important thing he sees that doesn't seem obvious is that we are raising my son to see the men in his life as social organizers, just as women are. Or neighbor who organized the block party is male. Our neighbor who cooks pizza and invites all his friends is male. His dad (my husband) every year organizes families to take fall and winter hikes, reaching out to families and coordinating with moms and dads about food and gear. I've mentioned his grandpa having a few differen… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/02/25 10:53 AM |
| 5 | For women that treat dating transactionally, do you think you are partially responsible for the commodification of sex and dating?I know that I think poorly of the idea of women who behave this way. It's not that I don't think they exist, just that I don't and them. I was raised (I'm late forties now) that the proper feminist thing is to pay your own way, develop your own career, love men for the sex, the affection, the off-spring. I've never actually been first person friends with a woman that expected uneven payment for dates (who was willing to admit it, who knows what's happening behind closed doors). | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/02/25 04:56 AM |
| 1 | Social Media Teaches Women They are Better Than MenHey man, I'm just reading the research. I don't mean that as an off-putting thing. I am twenty years married, and maybe the species is totally different since I was last on the market, but I think that's unlikely. I'm in this sub because I've a teenage son and daughter coming into it and I want to learn as much as I can to support them through their next ten to twenty years of dating and finding a partner. While the anecdotes here are wild, I find the research to be more compelling. Yes, correla… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/02/25 04:48 AM |
| 10 | You can't have "true equality" if you hate caring at men's feelings.Let me edit and paste in my parenting plan for my teenage son; spoiler we have raised him to feel that his feelings matter, male spaces are important, his personal attention to his own health is important. This is what feminism looks like. Edit/ My son is 14. (For context, my husband and I both had puberty a bit late, so think of him as more like 11 or 12, he has no underarm hair, just beginning to start to grow, still has the thin shoulders and high sweet voice of a boy, not a young man). We ha… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/02/25 04:34 AM |
| 1 | Social Media Teaches Women They are Better Than MenThey still feel superiority over most men I still think this is a generalisation, exactly the type of "how much is that puppy in the window" stuff where most people are making assumptions about how most other people feel, which research into social media overwhelmingly shows is fairly equally toxic to both men and women. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/02/25 01:57 AM |
| 2 | Social Media Teaches Women They are Better Than MenWe just went through all the research links yesterday. This has been studied over and over, in large groups, on several continents and age groups. It's messed up, and I can totally understand why the instinct would be that women receive this as a confidence boost, but the research consistently shows that this is a façade, that particularly the "pretty" women getting likes chase it like a dopamine hit while increasingly feeling like a sham. In both genders, recent use of online dating apps strong… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/02/25 10:56 PM |
| 0 | Oral sex is degradingI think for some people it may be, and they certainly have the right to not do it. That's not how it is for me and my husband and it's a staple, as in nearly every time we have sex there's at least some oral contact and it's not uncommon for it to be the mainstay. And while we do it with a range of different moods from sweet to growly, the default mode is sweet and loving, and the finish always is. It's really really difficult to feel degraded when someone is telling you oh my love that feels am… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/02/25 03:50 PM |
| 1 | The parents of boys have an obligation to teach them about attracting womenMy son is 14. (For context, my husband and I both had puberty a bit late, so think of him as more like 11 or 12, he has no underarm hair, just beginning to start to grow, still has the thin shoulders and high sweet voice of a boy, not a young man). We have a multipronged approach. 1) physical - he eats a healthy range of foods every day including vegetables and minimally processed food. He plays very competitive soccer and does serious hiking including winter overnights. He showers when he comes… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/02/25 10:46 AM |
| 2 | Many young men struggle because they internalize internet opinionsI call them out as well. It's not truly feminist, not sustainable, and not good for one's emotional well being to say that all or even most of women's difficulties are caused solely by men. As a particularly ugly example, it's the mothers and aunties that most aggressively pursue FGM. And the depressive side effects on young women from too much instagram often have to do with girl on girl bullying. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/02/25 10:05 AM |
| 2 | Many young men struggle because they internalize internet opinionsYes and no. Yes it seems dude dependent and anyone, but it's not a 9% increase of the total number in the group, it's a 9% increase from what it had been. So if 14.6% of adolescent females formed a suicidal plan, if they spent an additional hour, 9% of 14.6% is 1.3% so that brings you up to 15.9%. I don't think there are enough hours in the day. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/02/25 11:06 PM |
| 3 | Many young men struggle because they internalize internet opinionsI'm learning. But if people don't call it out when non red pill stuff gets labeled as red pill, it will infiltrate. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/02/25 02:57 PM |
| 5 | Many young men struggle because they internalize internet opinionsLook at the links about online dating, where recency and dose seem to also correlate. Absolutely true that causation cannot be proven in those studies, would not get through an IRB, but in the reverse direction it seems possible. Take a bunch of depressed people, normalize for age/gender. Make matched cohorts for the number of screen hours or days a week they visit the dating apps. Randomize and aggressively counsel one group to take a six week break from all that and focus only on real life soc… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/02/25 02:55 PM |
| 3 | Many young men struggle because they internalize internet opinionsI'm willing to accept that there may be people posting who identify themselves as redpill but aren't really true to it. It's important to call that out, though, else the bad apples spoil the barrel. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/02/25 02:50 PM |
| 3 | Many young men struggle because they internalize internet opinionsI'm going by the labels they give themselves, but I'd certainly be willing to accept the idea that there's lots of people out there calling themselves redpills who aren't really. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/02/25 02:36 PM |
| 2 | Many young men struggle because they internalize internet opinionsNo, I said it was balanced. The examples I pulled out restore the equal balance of the blame as compared to the prior lopsided assertions. Up thread I do believe I said the emotional violence is real, but that it comes from both sides. Focusing on women being the only source of men's pain is, I believe the essential difference between toxic TRP and beneficial TRP. External locus of control vs internal. Edit: my quote from up thread The emotional violence is real, and it's important, but I think … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/02/25 02:31 PM |
| 9 | Many young men struggle because they internalize internet opinionsBesides, individuals who used dating apps daily and those who had used them for more than a year were both found to have statistically significantly higher rates of psychological distress and depression, suggesting that the impact of dating apps use on users’ mental health and well-being may be dose- dependent. Although we did not verify this in our study, recent use was linked to higher depression scores. Individuals, not men, because it affected both genders negatively. This is why people do r… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/02/25 05:54 AM |
| 11 | Many young men struggle because they internalize internet opinionsI sense anger in you, young Skywalker. I do not get that same unbalanced impression from skimming through red pill subs or the short sub. There are of course assholes of both the male and female variety, so there will be anecdotes. But I do not largely see women saying that they never make mistakes, and I do see plenty of young men ruminating angrily that they're never going to get laid because they're short. Lots of the helplessness that characterizes the toxic form of the red pill is coming fr… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/02/25 05:45 AM |
| 12 | Many young men struggle because they internalize internet opinionsRead the research. If you count the individual studies within the meta-analysis I linked to several dozen studies and they all say the same thing. You think women are getting confidence boosts, that's how it looks like it should feel from where you stand, and I see why that would be your instinctive thought. But instead, for a large majority of women they instead get a steady message of you're just not as pretty as the next one, your life is not as successful, you are a sham. So they end up actu… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/02/25 05:25 AM |
| 6 | Many young men struggle because they internalize internet opinionsBut these redpill messages of hopelessness because it's all about the bone structure are coming from men. The emotional violence is real, and it's important, but I think an equal share is coming from men as compared to women. And unfortunately, welcome to the club. Look how much stupid money women spend on creams and lashes and Botox and hair dye and lip filler, obsessing over having to look a certain way to be considered attractive. It's so toxic. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/02/25 03:51 AM |
| 14 | Many young men struggle because they internalize internet opinionsthis smaller study did look specifically at online dating apps and found anxiety and depression to correlate with recent use, but not former use, particularly among gay people. this study found similar results. Neither appeared to show that the effect is particular to men or women. It sucks all around. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/02/25 03:44 AM |
| 40 | Many young men struggle because they internalize internet opinionsIt's a bit more basic than that, and affects everyone. Spending time on the apps (Facebook, insta, dating apps) is directly correlated with a slew of mental health issues including anxiety, depression etc. For every additional one hour per day there is a 9% increase in suicidality. pubmed link in case anyone wants to read the study instead of a news article about it. This affects men and women. For each individual person, it will obviously feel unique, and for you it feels like being rejected by… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/02/25 03:38 AM |
| – | The majority of women will never change for a manEver spend a few weeks at a women's camp? Like in early high school for summer camp? No guys anywhere for days on end? It was so restful to have a break from the male gaze. The gaze itself, the needing to dress more properly both to satisfy and to not provoke it, and all the heavy weight of the female gaze watching the male gaze upon me and me feeling judged about whether I'd done it right, or were they jealous. Ugh. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/02/25 12:08 AM |
| – | The majority of women will never change for a manMajority of women aren't going to opt for separatism because we are just as horny as the guys, we simply express it differently. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/02/25 12:01 AM |
| 3 | Vast Majority of Women are Landing Men Who Were In Romantic Exile, and They Know ItSeriously, do wander over into the r/parenting and do your own search on masculinity and you'll see that the enormous sub is all in support of fostering positive masculine traits. They have some wider variability about teens dating but mostly it's sex positive except for the super religious types. It reflects my real world decently accurately. That's a much larger sub than this one. 8 million members as compared to 135k. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 31/01/25 06:33 PM |
| – | Why do women seem to struggle to honestly admit to preferences which might be considered shallow?Sorry women orgasm from random stranger rape as often as they do from a partner. This is a fucking wild thing to say. As in, I totally understand that women's bodies can lubricate and rarely even orgasm in response to rape, but equally as compared to a trusted loving partner? I'm so curious about your source. Is it that you have a fantasy that most women orgasm from being raped, or that women who are partnered with you rarely orgasm? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 31/01/25 05:42 PM |
| 3 | Vast Majority of Women are Landing Men Who Were In Romantic Exile, and They Know ItDon't mess it up, my friend. Keep things equal. I do not notice women breaking these male spaces down, I see women supporting them. I do not see women getting body positivity messages in excess as compared to men. Yes, both genders get pretty toxic messages. Both. And we are aware. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 31/01/25 05:34 PM |
| 1 | Are men actually putting in effort when it comes to dating, or do they just think it should be easy?... please notice that I specifically recognized that men are working hard. I think they are working in the wrong direction. What I brought up is that this kind of social organizing work that the OP described is considered normal for women. So it's invisible. It's assumed that of course we will check the calendar and figure out when the band is playing at the pub, send an email around, invite everyone over to the apartment, find a fun recipe for nibble food, make the grocery list, shop, make the… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 31/01/25 02:44 AM |
| 2 | Are men actually putting in effort when it comes to dating, or do they just think it should be easy?It's not considered a typical masculine behavior, but coupled up women have a fascination with setting single people up. If you make steady friends with lots of coupled up women and non aggressively let it be known that you're open to dating, that will simmer on the back burner and produce results. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 31/01/25 02:15 AM |
| 3 | Are men actually putting in effort when it comes to dating, or do they just think it should be easy?Yeah that sounds expensive. But it's only one lifestyle. My first three dates with my husband were (if I recall correctly, this is twenty years ago): mountain biking (free). Cooking dinner at his home together (price of groceries, not very high). Dragging an old futon mattress up onto his roof to look at the stars (free, very sweet, there was smooching). We were set up by a mutual friend, and I think it was several weeks before we actually went "out" anywhere. Then again I've never been the type… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 31/01/25 02:09 AM |
| -2 | Are men actually putting in effort when it comes to dating, or do they just think it should be easy?Doesn't all the research say that women are doing the majority of the emotional work to keep social networks going? Planning the gatherings, calling to check in, turning up with a casserole when someone is ill? I don't disagree that single men are working hard to improve themselves, look fit and have a good career in order to be perceived as a provider. But the OP really nailed it here. Some of the preening could be shifted over to social organizing and there would likely be great success. Be th… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 31/01/25 02:02 AM |
| -7 | Are men actually putting in effort when it comes to dating, or do they just think it should be easy?Precisely. So you chat them up, be sociable, demonstrate that you are someone who has reasonable emotional intelligence, make plans to meet up with the whole group at the bar same time next week. Pretty soon it's established that you are reliable and not sleezy, then it turns into smaller one on one conversations or else - hey I think you'd really get along with my friend Mira, maybe next time we should all go get nachos and I'll bring her along. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 31/01/25 01:56 AM |
| 0 | Are men actually putting in effort when it comes to dating, or do they just think it should be easy?This exactly. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 31/01/25 01:52 AM |
| 1 | Vast Majority of Women are Landing Men Who Were In Romantic Exile, and They Know ItYet the men were hooked up at twice the rate of the women? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/01/25 02:44 PM |
| 2 | Vast Majority of Women are Landing Men Who Were In Romantic Exile, and They Know ItMy boy perhaps, he's my logic nerd, but he's only 14. How do people get involved in experimental colleges? Please consider DM me the college link? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/01/25 12:45 PM |
| 3 | Vast Majority of Women are Landing Men Who Were In Romantic Exile, and They Know ItA massive part of my local parenting community is promoting positive masculinity. Encouraging our boys and men to have male spaces, to feel good about their bodies, their extra need to run around and kick balls or lift heavy things. To feel a bit protective and competitive. To also have the ability to feel all the other emotions, the fears and hopes and joys and sadness. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/01/25 12:35 PM |
| 3 | Vast Majority of Women are Landing Men Who Were In Romantic Exile, and They Know ItLet's give you a megaphone please. Or write a book or a podcast. Just get into my teenage kids' ears. I might print this out. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/01/25 12:27 PM |
| 1 | Vast Majority of Women are Landing Men Who Were In Romantic Exile, and They Know ItWell I'm ancient, my undergrad degree was in '99. Grad degree in '11. We all hung out. Maybe the species has fundamentally changed. Doubt it, it's probably just a social habit, which means it can be brought back. At every phase there were a few people who were "organizers" who would go beyond saying we should hang out, they would say I'm going for pizza right now who's coming along! Then, I'm gonna get dressed up to go see Rocky Horror Picture Show, anybody want a ride? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/01/25 12:24 PM |
| 1 | Do guys in the top 10-20% act similarly to these women people complain about?Eh, I've dated taller (I am shrinking now but I was 6' tall myself in college) and wealthier. And he'd given me a ring just before I entered grad school but I have had tons of access to men with more earning power. No straying. He's dreamy. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/01/25 12:18 PM |
| 0 | Vast Majority of Women are Landing Men Who Were In Romantic Exile, and They Know ItWe've already talked on this thread about how probably 60% of the "women" on the dating apps are bots who were added just to string men along, keep them scrolling to generate advertising revenue. It's not real, and the data generated is bogus. This interesting research polled a thousand people about casual sex, including questions about frequency and emotional response. Both men and women equally responded that they were seeking affection, physical pleasure, and a self confidence boost. The men … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/01/25 12:16 PM |
| 1 | Vast Majority of Women are Landing Men Who Were In Romantic Exile, and They Know ItYou mean they are sharing men. Most men cannot get a fwb or a situationship and are not having casual sex. Women claim they arent into casual sex though lol. The majority of women are not being tricked. They willingly go into those arrangements I honestly believe this is close to equal between genders. Men and women who claim they want meaningless sex, or pretend to agree to meaningful sex. And yet ... all the sex research shows that the typical female brain lights up to erotic story while the t… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/01/25 05:07 AM |
| 1 | Vast Majority of Women are Landing Men Who Were In Romantic Exile, and They Know ItWhat I said is that women think they're in relationships while men describe they are in casual sex. It's depressing for both sides, think about the women who were wishing they will get a cute date or affectionate cuddle. I do believe there is overlap in everything, everything this sub discusses. And now I will go copy quote your entire post and respond to it, just to be silly to the degree of which I want to be fair about responding (this means I'm trying to be fair and honest and stick my tongu… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/01/25 04:54 AM |
| 1 | Vast Majority of Women are Landing Men Who Were In Romantic Exile, and They Know ItPlease support the assertion that it's women sharing men, beyond paranoia. Here's the pew research on it. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/01/25 04:46 AM |
| 3 | Do guys in the top 10-20% act similarly to these women people complain about?I don't disagree that there are ridiculous numbers of people sticking with bad, toxic situations. But we can all of us still aim beyond basic, towards better. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/01/25 04:41 AM |
| 0 | Vast Majority of Women are Landing Men Who Were In Romantic Exile, and They Know ItYeah but that study concluded two interesting things: yes women date older than their age group (guys end up paired up but older) and many women describe themselves as paired up with men who describe themselves as single (situationship is what they call this now). I had a very sweet year with a man that he and I agreed would not be a forever partnership but we would stay physically monogamous for the while. It was obvious to all - we spent the year every weekend together, tons of orgasms and bre… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/01/25 04:37 AM |
| 5 | Do guys in the top 10-20% act similarly to these women people complain about?I cannot think of my husband as anything other than top 10%, and he never acted like "that". Here's where I finally admit that he's 6'5", and already owned a nice home, financially secure before I met him. My right hand to the holy text of your choice, I married him because he had stable friendships, the same environmental activism profile as me, a good relationship with his parents, and was attentive in the bedroom while respecting my pace. He never in his life wanted for a girlfriend so far as… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/01/25 04:31 AM |
| 3 | Vast Majority of Women are Landing Men Who Were In Romantic Exile, and They Know ItI feel you. During pandemic I started deliberately talking to strangers in the grocery. All masked up etc. If I saw anyone pick a thing up I might say "hey my friend had a great recipe for that". Or if anyone looked hesitant over a higher shelf I would always offer to reach for them. What do you like to do? I loathe Facebook, but in this winter season the local pond hockey is organized on Facebook I adore contra dance (and while the average age skews older there are college aged people and colle… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/01/25 04:15 AM |
| 2 | Vast Majority of Women are Landing Men Who Were In Romantic Exile, and They Know ItOne of the side effects of pandemic followed by online that I'm seeing is very delayed dating. My husband and I were each definitely up to more shenanigans (separately in different states ten years before meeting each other) by these ages. My teens are awesome and athletic and have good lunch groups and study buddies, and sometimes talk about how some of their friends date, but wayyyy less. And I live far enough out in the woods that there's no sneaking out at night, the nearest age matched neig… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/01/25 04:04 AM |
| 4 | Vast Majority of Women are Landing Men Who Were In Romantic Exile, and They Know ItAnd here I am trying to talk my kids into taking a gap year just to let them get a little older. Yeah, college and the job market have become nuts I'll agree. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/01/25 03:26 AM |
| 3 | Vast Majority of Women are Landing Men Who Were In Romantic Exile, and They Know ItThis is a good sign. Now we just need to teach them how to plan get togethers, hikes, pond hockey, study groups of mixed gender. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/01/25 03:22 AM |
| 3 | Vast Majority of Women are Landing Men Who Were In Romantic Exile, and They Know ItWhat if we don't want to "beat the system" but rather to fix the system. Beating the system sounds like accepting it, leaning into, and encouraging everyone to be the raging unsatisfied person that some here say are the 90% that won't succeed because of the bone structure in their jaw. Fixing the system could look like becoming a community organizer, or building a big email list that you can blast out "let's go sledding over by Abbots and then all get nachos", or any other step to help people es… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/01/25 02:22 AM |
| 2 | Vast Majority of Women are Landing Men Who Were In Romantic Exile, and They Know ItI'm with you. In the end, those of us who are silly optimists need to remember that humans are human, and any process with money involved is going to iterate until it becomes perverse. The app developers want to get paid, they don't care if you get laid. Maybe we can change the financial involvement somehow so they don't get anything from their advertising unless the match works?? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/01/25 02:12 AM |
| 1 | Vast Majority of Women are Landing Men Who Were In Romantic Exile, and They Know ItKids be high schoolers, but the compliment is appreciated. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/01/25 01:36 AM |
| 4 | Vast Majority of Women are Landing Men Who Were In Romantic Exile, and They Know ItAgreed. And this must also invalidate all the data about matches, right? How do you do the math on what percentage of a man's swiped match results in a date, if some majority of the matches are bots? Just accept that it's a form of porn. Look at it to masturbate, but then shower and put clothes on and go join the local AMC hiking club to meet people. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/01/25 01:35 AM |
| 3 | Vast Majority of Women are Landing Men Who Were In Romantic Exile, and They Know Itit's bleak But not unfixable! Grab your young people and take them on a hike, take them to the fair, bring them all home and teach them to bake bread. Since we clearly know the phones are the issue, have times when the phones are not present! | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/01/25 10:41 PM |
| 1 | Vast Majority of Women are Landing Men Who Were In Romantic Exile, and They Know ItMaybe you don't, but they surely do. While I don't teach at University myself, several of my friends do and as we all have high schoolers right now we are observing college aged dating behavior closely. The online stuff doesn't work well. Isolating doesn't work well. The young men and women that reach out and socialize in groups end up finding pairs. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/01/25 09:30 PM |
| 2 | Vast Majority of Women are Landing Men Who Were In Romantic Exile, and They Know It...and yet the people that say these things get more dates than the ones that don't. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/01/25 09:26 PM |
| 3 | Vast Majority of Women are Landing Men Who Were In Romantic Exile, and They Know ItI'm a perimenopausal woman approaching fifty years old whose middle got thicker after having two babies. And yet, I can still talk to other people! So can short people! | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/01/25 09:25 PM |
| 3 | Vast Majority of Women are Landing Men Who Were In Romantic Exile, and They Know ItNah, these are the hurty people that need some auntie love and decent advice. I went to a dance class recently and at the beginning, you know they say the announcements like who arranged the music and who will teach next week. And then they said "I'm kinda hangry and will be going to that pub two doors down after class, I hope several people will come along and join me" It's not sketchy or creepy, it's a great way to develop a group of friends. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/01/25 09:09 PM |
| 2 | Vast Majority of Women are Landing Men Who Were In Romantic Exile, and They Know ItI cannot up vote this any harder | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/01/25 09:06 PM |
| 1 | Vast Majority of Women are Landing Men Who Were In Romantic Exile, and They Know ItNachos then. Just nachos. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/01/25 09:03 PM |
| 8 | Vast Majority of Women are Landing Men Who Were In Romantic Exile, and They Know ItI seriously think the online dating programmers have fine tuned things to maximize doom scrolling. They want you to barely succeed just often enough to keep you coming back, but mostly change the algorithm to put in front of you things that won't work out. Because if it works out and you really pair up, you'll stop needing the app. Why would they want that? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/01/25 09:03 PM |
| 2 | Vast Majority of Women are Landing Men Who Were In Romantic Exile, and They Know ItTwo of the coffee shops near me, in the evenings, are willing to host interest groups (with the expectation that you buy a tea or coffee while holding up a table to do your thing). One plays board games and I haven't gotten close enough to figure out what the other is talking about. Could you try that a few months to see if it kicks off? ... And props. That suggests putting things on oneself to do things. What things are the props for? Our local community theater is full of really cool people, m… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/01/25 08:59 PM |
| 0 | Vast Majority of Women are Landing Men Who Were In Romantic Exile, and They Know ItSay them in real life, to about twelve people. Keep doing it. I took my kiddos to a local standing stones circle (think smaller Stonehenge, maybe 6' high and 40' across) maintained by the local astronomy division of the closest big university, to see their hour lecture about the solstice, and there were several very adorable dork college aged couples, holding hands and whatnot. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/01/25 08:52 PM |
| 3 | Vast Majority of Women are Landing Men Who Were In Romantic Exile, and They Know ItI'm a weirdo adult who deliberately made friends in my early forties. A work acquaintance was going through a divorce and asked three of us to accompany him to dinner in his grumpiness, and we had good conversation. He suggested that he needed friends ( having moved just before the divorce) and that we should meet up once a month and make dinner together, the four of us. Yes, at first it was awkward and weird and we didn't have any shared childhood history, two of us married and two not, very di… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/01/25 08:32 PM |
| 2 | Vast Majority of Women are Landing Men Who Were In Romantic Exile, and They Know ItI'm glad you have insight into your strengths and interests with creativity, and understand what it's like to feel alone in a crowd (I'm pretty introverted). Could I suggest joining a maker space class? Expand your 3d printing skills to ceramics or wood? Or hang a flyer at the local library that you're going to host a 3d printing club interest circle at such and such time to swap code commands? Edit/ then when you've talked a wee bit, it's a group invite to go get nachos. Then after a few weeks … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/01/25 08:23 PM |
| 18 | Vast Majority of Women are Landing Men Who Were In Romantic Exile, and They Know Itgaining major platforms Social media trains them It's the apps. It's so toxic. Insta, tiktok, Fakebook, all the online dating apps. It encourages the young to falsely represent themselves and to believe in a weirdly idealized/ filtered version of everyone else, and it's so bad for everyone. Both in the up and the down direction, how beautiful or easy it should be, and how depressing and auto fail it might be. Real life is neither as good nor as bad as online makes it seem. The young should go ou… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/01/25 08:19 PM |
| 2 | Vast Majority of Women are Landing Men Who Were In Romantic Exile, and They Know ItWatching the guys at work with their incidental conversation, I think they make deliberate recurring plans to do something bland like meet for racquetball at the gym or join the same indoor soccer club, and then after a while I start hearing them talk to each other about home improvement, bike modification, what Sci Fi they want to read. I think they eventually actually formed a DnD club. Grown ass married adult men. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/01/25 08:04 PM |
| 5 | Vast Majority of Women are Landing Men Who Were In Romantic Exile, and They Know ItPersonally I think that the social apps fucked them over. Nowadays you have to explicitly say to a kid: you can plan a social outing. As in going out. It can be going to get a pizza slice, it can be meeting up to snowshoe a trail. I've got some grown up friends and we literally met up the other day to play dorky card games over tea it was great. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/01/25 06:20 PM |
| 21 | Would a world without "Red Pill" or lonely men be better?I've got uncles and cousins like this and I wouldn't want them to not exist. Would I wish that their specific redpill pressure to disappear? Yes. It feels like, (based on the commentary in this sub) it would be a big decrease in pressure to look and act a certain way, it would allow more freedom in dress and sexuality, a greater sense of safety, honestly. Edit,/ hate to get dark about this but my career includes caring for people who are victims of sexual violence, yes men and women both, and wh… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/01/25 06:08 PM |
| 1 | Vast Majority of Women are Landing Men Who Were In Romantic Exile, and They Know ItIt sounds super silly, but just call once a week. Reach out. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/01/25 05:57 PM |
| 1 | Vast Majority of Women are Landing Men Who Were In Romantic Exile, and They Know ItHave you missed having friends that you can open up with? I find that for me it works best in alternation, we have a little intensity and then a little Marvel movie. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/01/25 05:49 PM |
| 4 | Vast Majority of Women are Landing Men Who Were In Romantic Exile, and They Know ItWe can be part of the solution for praising third places and approaching the city hall to increase them. And the dating method there isn't a handshake and let's fuck, it's about getting to know somebody. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/01/25 05:46 PM |
| 8 | Vast Majority of Women are Landing Men Who Were In Romantic Exile, and They Know ItHow can we help the young people understand that this needs to happen? Socializing in general, socializing in gender specific space, socializing in mixed gender space? Edit/ I'm coming at this a mom of two teens. So this is really serious. I think that showing them the "work" of making social scenarios is important. Superbowl Sunday grocery list ain't going to plan itself. No friend group is going to the county fair unless someone starts the text. There will be no trip to the beach unless some p… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/01/25 05:40 PM |
| 8 | Vast Majority of Women are Landing Men Who Were In Romantic Exile, and They Know Itfairly surface level Please take this in a friendly tone. Did you ever try starting a deeper conversation? I'm introverted. One of my dearest friends is who he is to me because he is willing to open up, to be vulnerable and also to ask me difficult things. We aren't sexual (he has a girlfriend who quite likes me because I've encouraged him with her) (and I'm married). The next best friend is a woman, also married, we all hang out and we talk about difficult things. So I don't feel this is a gend… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/01/25 05:38 PM |
| 8 | Vast Majority of Women are Landing Men Who Were In Romantic Exile, and They Know ItI don't disagree, I reminisce about a huge middle area of what would be "safe" socializing in groups. Having everyone meet up at the dining hall does not feel like bears or rapists. And yet they are grand places for people to practice verbal flirtation and building a certain tension over a few weeks. After which time the man can feel safer than a bear. Teach your young ones how to find these places. Most cities put on public music in the summers. Or community gardens are very social, and then yo… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/01/25 05:26 PM |
| 7 | Vast Majority of Women are Landing Men Who Were In Romantic Exile, and They Know ItI think this is less gendered than you think. I mean, it expresses in different ways but is no less toxic for each and important for both to abandon. Women and men both have pressure to use social filters, sometimes they're visual for likes, sometimes they're written for upvotes. Everyone needs healing. And more in person social time. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/01/25 05:20 PM |
| 8 | Vast Majority of Women are Landing Men Who Were In Romantic Exile, and They Know ItYour real history is real, I don't challenge that. But I did refuse study group with guys that stared at my breasts, and had great study group with guys that had self control. And it was early enough in my adulthood that I had difficulty feeling strong enough to say that. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/01/25 05:11 PM |
| 18 | Vast Majority of Women are Landing Men Who Were In Romantic Exile, and They Know ItAgreed. Entirely. And from everything I've read it's borne out by research And the dating apps are the worst. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/01/25 04:48 PM |
| 8 | Vast Majority of Women are Landing Men Who Were In Romantic Exile, and They Know ItI recall in middle and high school being more gender segregated for lunch and studying. But in college it felt very fun and grown-up to study and have dinner with a big group that included men. Partly for annoying reasons of having felt shy and small and weak when I was a younger woman, and partly for wonderful reasons of being able to see and enjoy these men as people - who were bright, vulnerable, funny, idiotic, adorable, inventive humans just like all my other friends. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/01/25 04:46 PM |
| 9 | Vast Majority of Women are Landing Men Who Were In Romantic Exile, and They Know ItOh young people. Try these: "hey some of my friends tend to eat at Northwest dining hall most nights around six, wanna join us? We usually sit in the back left corner, come sit with us any time". Repeat over a year and soon you've got a shared experience. Or "It's dorky but there's a star walk thing happening this Thursday night over by Albert Hall, there's a lecturer and everything. So long as it's not raining I intend to go, wanna meet up there?". | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/01/25 04:40 PM |
| 79 | Vast Majority of Women are Landing Men Who Were In Romantic Exile, and They Know ItWhat is happening in the world today? When I went to college in the late 90's, every night my friend group would meet up at the dining hall, or plan to go sledding on dinner trays or some other shenanigans, and it was a core group of about twelve that included men and women in about equal numbers. My focused study groups from upper level classes were different sets of young people, also both men and women mixed. Both men and women were equally fussed about getting dates, getting paired up. But l… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/01/25 04:19 PM |
| 2 | The male loneliness epidemic is worse than you think.That was the 7th of ten recommendations (though two are local free offerings by counseling groups, they seem typical for cities). It's ok if one of them has some quirks beyond "just show up". I didn't even list the gay centric hiking group or the entire national concept of Big Brother as fostering male family-style relationships, or the men's yoga or running club. Plus in real life, nearly all the guys I know have simply deliberately created these spaces. My dad plays horseshoes with men only, f… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/01/25 12:59 AM |
| 1 | Why is it so rare for "HVM" to be childfree?I highly disagree because none of these things are intrinsically traits of either party. So many people with children don't have any of these traits. I think we're not actually in disagreement, I was listing qualities that either a man or a woman can have, which would be helpful qualities for intentionally having kids. There's no shortage of lousy parents out there for reasons of oooops or not thinking it through. But from two I definitely think that people who want to be childless think way mor… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/01/25 10:23 PM |
| 3 | The male loneliness epidemic is worse than you think.Less hyperbole please. There is indeed an episode of lonely men, but the cure is already out there and available. They just have to go. Join the Freemasons. Lion's club. I just checked quickly and there a free Men's Meetup monthly. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/01/25 10:17 PM |
| 1 | The male loneliness epidemic is worse than you think.I read somewhere that Boy Scouts and Girl Scouts nearly merged about 8 years ago, but the deal fell apart over the cookie money, which is huge. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/01/25 10:09 PM |
| – | This subreddit gives less attractive men the halo effect and underestimate the importance of personality.Well, as I've said repeatedly, I think the dating apps are bad for people and I would never use one. It's like Fakebook Insta, and Reddit, the programmers have spent years fine tuning the algorithm to keep users scrolling. In fact if you get paired up, you'll be at risk of stopping using the app, so there's real suspicion that they are actively trying to frustrate success at least part of the time. Make it work out just barely enough to keep you hoping, but most often dangle things that won't. B… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/01/25 09:57 PM |
| – | This subreddit gives less attractive men the halo effect and underestimate the importance of personality.Several of the long term relationships I had in high school and college were with guys that weren't conventionally attractive, and their physical looks weren't what drew me. They weren't overweight or unhygienic, but no way would I have picked them on a dating app. I wouldn't say it was because they were super duper nice primarily, there was typically something incredibly witty. For example one ran the improv comedy club at college and he was just always a blast to talk to, interesting and funny… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/01/25 06:50 PM |
| 2 | Why is it so rare for "HVM" to be childfree?Do you hate women because they're women? Because those women definitely earned their merits. I'm all about men, like I'm into them sexually and I want them to succeed, but I'm aware that there have been times in the past when women's success was ascribed to men unfairly. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/01/25 09:49 AM |
| 0 | Why is it so rare for "HVM" to be childfree?Ah maybe that's why I don't understand the redpill stuff. What I see happening in my community is not about the things the redpill people obsess on, the height and copious hair and the jawline. What I see in real life is that women are interested in behavior, in the story. So the redpill definition of HVM seems way off. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/01/25 09:23 AM |
| 6 | Why is it so rare for "HVM" to be childfree?Wild. She was well established as a scientist before she met Pierre. But instead, we could talk about Rosalind Franklin, the chemist who did the work that Crick, Watson and Wilkins won a Nobel for? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/01/25 09:19 AM |
| 4 | The male loneliness epidemic is worse than you think.Nah. I live in a ludicrously feminist progressive area and nearly all of the men in my life have men's groups of one type or another. Which do indeed specifically exclude women, they talk about it in a chuckling way but they do it. Typically they have some other excuse, like my 78 year old dad has been part of a "horseshoe" league for a decade. They are indeed serious about maintaining the pitch, but it's really an excuse to have men time. He's quite happy to play shoes with women except for tho… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/01/25 08:05 AM |
| 8 | Why is it so rare for "HVM" to be childfree?This. But squished a little bit towards having kids, because if the definition of a "HVM" is one that women want to date, then several of the qualities of HVM simply overlap with people who like kids. More patient, more optimistic, more interested in the future, completely dedicated to taking care of the people around us who are vulnerable because they may just grow up to be the next Marie Curie. I'm all in support of the childfree by choice people, I love me some DINK friends that want to borro… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/01/25 03:41 AM |
| 2 | For people who are coupled: how many of these posts seem to be from people who just need better parents, aunties, uncles?Nah, the opposite. Put the smartphone down, the world out there isn't nearly as bad as the Internet makes it seem. Go out there, play in the city soccer league, donate three hours once a month to cleanup the river shed, enter a silly crocheted thing to the county fair, be with people. It works. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/01/25 10:44 PM |
| – | How certain do you think someone should be that their relationship will not play out as both partners intend before they’re ethically obligated to end the relationship?Right and I think this isn't often enough recognized. I hope my vignette was a helpful illustration. I know your actual question was about timing, about cutting a relationship off sooner or later and I didn't answer that. But my beau and I did talk about timing by making an agreement at the start, and abiding by that agreement after my friend set me up with the man who became my husband. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/01/25 10:39 PM |
| – | How certain do you think someone should be that their relationship will not play out as both partners intend before they’re ethically obligated to end the relationship?Hm. A sideways perspective. Or maybe backwards looking. Really, why does a relationship need to last forever in order to be "successful"? At one point in my early twenties I entered into a relationship with a man, we both knew it wasn't going to be forever. We were not suited to marry, politics and activism didn't line up. But we were each a bit wounded and needing companionship at that time and so we spent a very fond year together, treating each other well. We made each other meals, hung out, … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/01/25 06:35 PM |
| 3 | For people who are coupled: how many of these posts seem to be from people who just need better parents, aunties, uncles?Neh, disagree. The sweet feminist men around here end up married. He's so sweet. In his general life he's a jock, a soccer nerd, but he's got these darling, oddly appropriate ways of being affectionate and so I know he's going to be a great cuddly lover to someone special someday. He's that teen that will come home, and as he's getting his school things put away and walking past, he'll pause to tilt and lay his head on my shoulder in a little no armed hug. So sweet. Some woman is going to hoover… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/01/25 11:41 AM |
| 1 | For people who are coupled: how many of these posts seem to be from people who just need better parents, aunties, uncles?Sorry, mate, that's rude treatment. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/01/25 10:40 AM |
| 1 | For people who are coupled: how many of these posts seem to be from people who just need better parents, aunties, uncles?Sorry to hear it. Hey, you're flaired as a man and so may I ask what reproductive right was compromised? I don't mean to suggest it can't happen, just it's not typically phrased that way. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/01/25 10:37 AM |
| 1 | For people who are coupled: how many of these posts seem to be from people who just need better parents, aunties, uncles?I think it's all fear based. It's a mix of being afraid of being labeled some way, now that nudes and social media are all shared around like bullying, and a serious lack of in person socialization. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/01/25 10:34 AM |
| 3 | For people who are coupled: how many of these posts seem to be from people who just need better parents, aunties, uncles?Unfortunately the right answer probably varies wildly based upon your audience. Which means the prudent thing to do is to have some things ready to go in your pocket at all times. If the city has a cool free salsa lesson in the park on Wednesdays, know about it. If there's a nice open house at that galleria this Thursday, know about it. Read up on, and rehearse one "impress meal" that you can cook at home and one really sweet picnic you can throw together even if it's simply Brie, crackers and a… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/01/25 10:31 AM |
| 1 | For people who are coupled: how many of these posts seem to be from people who just need better parents, aunties, uncles?In what way do you regret marrying? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/01/25 10:22 AM |
| 1 | For people who are coupled: how many of these posts seem to be from people who just need better parents, aunties, uncles?Laughed, laughed, laughed some more and then read it again to laugh. You've got a fun colorful way of embroidering. Dating people during high school and college doesn't mean being a, how did you you phrase it, a "dick sucking street ho" or "free use" person. And most of those experiences were about building skills for intimacy, knowing how to solve squabbles etc. Still laughing. People that date, are the people who learn how to be in relationships, and can have the chance to end up in long term … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/01/25 10:20 AM |
| 2 | For people who are coupled: how many of these posts seem to be from people who just need better parents, aunties, uncles?Neh. We dated and flirted and had life experiences back in the 90's. Most of whom were people we very much valued. It can be scary for people that want but don't have monogamous love to understand that people have experience before, which strengthens them. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/01/25 04:43 AM |
| 2 | For people who are coupled: how many of these posts seem to be from people who just need better parents, aunties, uncles?This is my long-winded deep sigh that I'm pretty certain most are a normal way and we just need to be ready to care for the hurting ones. I take care of enough drunk college kids that I know the redpill stuff is out there, the misogynist stuff. And I also know there are awesome college kids out there trying to be cool. And the feminist ones hurt the other less than the misogynist ones. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/01/25 04:31 AM |
| 3 | For people who are coupled: how many of these posts seem to be from people who just need better parents, aunties, uncles?It's flavor. Like spicing a dish with some herbes de Provence vs a quarter cup of salt. Dating and planning need to coexist but they need to be in the right quantity and with the right expectation. And I know that's been a horridly complicated thing to tell young guys. One dude that I'd known for several years, asked me out to go look at fireworks. It was the right time, he had established himself as discreet, kind, etc. I fucked him regularly for the next year, we ended it. It's twenty years la… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/01/25 04:25 AM |
| 2 | For people who are coupled: how many of these posts seem to be from people who just need better parents, aunties, uncles?If you're curious. I'm monogamously married to a man and happy. I've not kept careful track of my "n count" or what they call it but I think it's a few dozen. Mostly within loving committed relationships approx a year at a time but a few wild times. Some women. A time being the invited third to a couple for a few weeks that were pretty kinky. One time I hooked up with a guy at a party and ended up actually (this feels insane) out in the street near the party having oral sex and he was telling me… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/01/25 04:16 AM |
| 1 | For people who are coupled: how many of these posts seem to be from people who just need better parents, aunties, uncles?I really think tons of this stuff can be taught. As in, it's my duty as a parent to get my kids the confidence and social skills to go to the shops alone, to find a way to give and accept compliments. Heck we had a super funny experience this past summer we were on a road trip with my two high schoolers, my husband was gassing the car and we walked across the street to a drive thru Cafe. Well the car was clearly back at the gas station, so the kids and I intended to walk through and buy some cha… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/01/25 04:01 AM |
| 2 | The true RP position is that male friendships, not romantic relationships, are the answer to the male loneliness epidemicHe's a great person and it goes both ways. Last fall I had a work colleague suicide and I came home and cried on him until I was empty, then I flipped like a switch and told him that sex sounded like a life affirming distraction and I absolutely needed him to fuck me. Him hearing the order and the pace of different types of soothing that I needed and being willing to switch gears and rise to the occasion when I was sniffling, blotchy, full of snot, that was great. I mean, the pitching in during … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/01/25 01:51 AM |
| 2 | The true RP position is that male friendships, not romantic relationships, are the answer to the male loneliness epidemicI just hate the very thought of him feeling alone with things like that, when I could have his back, not flinch, never tease him or let his secrets out. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/01/25 01:06 AM |
| 1 | For people who are coupled: how many of these posts seem to be from people who just need better parents, aunties, uncles?Sigh. So many young ducklings that we wish were feeling better. It does surely make me genuinely curious to start asking the young people at work more directly about whether they use these bizarre schemes. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/01/25 10:42 PM |
| 1 | For people who are coupled: how many of these posts seem to be from people who just need better parents, aunties, uncles?I should also confess that we're all gigantosaurs, I'm 6' as his mom and his dad is 6'5". This goes both ways, it's undeniably a privilege, but it's also sometimes hard on the kiddos when they're assumed to be older or more mature just because they're tall. I get a lot out of just looming over people at work. However, tall people do have more back pain and shorter life spans. And sometimes my 5'11" daughter just passes out trying to stand up from the couch - orthostatic hypotension is a problem … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/01/25 10:38 PM |
| 1 | For people who are coupled: how many of these posts seem to be from people who just need better parents, aunties, uncles?Nah I actually think he's set up pretty well. At graduation ceremony from eighth grade, he and the other boys and girls all spoke about genuine fond memories of each other. He has practiced skills to talk to people, I can give him some cash and expect him to navigate the grocery alone and come back ok. He plays a sport, knows how to accept what the ref says even if in the heat of the moment he disagrees. I can leave him to take care of frail demented Grandma everyone once in a few months for a f… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/01/25 09:47 PM |
| 1 | For people who are coupled: how many of these posts seem to be from people who just need better parents, aunties, uncles?Does the book seem to work? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/01/25 06:19 PM |
| 2 | For people who are coupled: how many of these posts seem to be from people who just need better parents, aunties, uncles?Do you think that sharing our stories can help? During my 8th grade and 9th grade year I was completely monogamously obsessed with a boy in my karate class. I never even thought of anyone else. My first wet dreams were to him. He was aware and kind, but we never so much as kissed. We went to some of the formal dances as dates, with fancy corsage etc it was def not on the down low. He was in a way hiding behind me, he wasn't gay but didn't want to be with any of the other women that wanted him an… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/01/25 06:16 PM |
| 2 | For people who are coupled: how many of these posts seem to be from people who just need better parents, aunties, uncles?Red pill forums are just blatant hate. Couldn't last. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/01/25 06:07 PM |
| 1 | For people who are coupled: how many of these posts seem to be from people who just need better parents, aunties, uncles?If the algorithm is set up to maximize scrolling instead of happy pairing up and graduating from the app, it's toxic. And the way they do that is by making people feel endlessly competitive without any wins. It's just as toxic as Insta which even Meta has admitted is harmful. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/01/25 06:06 PM |
| 3 | For people who are coupled: how many of these posts seem to be from people who just need better parents, aunties, uncles?all this preemptively planning. It makes dating sound like psychological warfare instead of building a connection with someone. What if... What if....what if.... Truth | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/01/25 05:48 PM |
| 1 | For people who are coupled: how many of these posts seem to be from people who just need better parents, aunties, uncles?I think talking more about the real life experience is important, bringing it back. I enjoy the real life love stories from my family. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/01/25 05:46 PM |
| 4 | For people who are coupled: how many of these posts seem to be from people who just need better parents, aunties, uncles?Oh! I ache for you for this feeling that you don't want to have sons. I have some anxious feelings, but mostly hopeful pride for my son. He's a freshman in high school, no armpit hair yet but starting to lock his door on occasion. He's goofy and oddball and smart and strong and I know that he'll be wanted and valuable and I'm so glad to have had a son. I feel he'll have some rollercoasters and eventually find some romantic mates. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/01/25 05:42 PM |
| 1 | For people who are coupled: how many of these posts seem to be from people who just need better parents, aunties, uncles?This seems a weird comment. I would absolutely tell both my kids (I have both a girl and a boy in high school) to be themselves. They're not quite dating yet, but this is the phase to help them to both understand that they need to have excellent basic hygiene, reasonably regular athletics, a good understanding of their academics and future life goals. They both understand that when they want to date, they should start slow and expect to support the date by financially paying half/ alternating an… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/01/25 05:24 PM |
| 1 | For people who are coupled: how many of these posts seem to be from people who just need better parents, aunties, uncles?Would you prefer to take advice from a book or online above the real people in your life? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/01/25 05:13 PM |
| 1 | For people who are coupled: how many of these posts seem to be from people who just need better parents, aunties, uncles?Try it out. Ask them. The stories can be crazy fun. My parents best friends met when he was in seminary to become a Catholic Jesuit priest. In the end his attraction to her was greater than his commitment to the priesthood and they married. Very sweet story. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/01/25 05:12 PM |
| 1 | There are Double Standards towards Men's Complaints in Relationships vs Women's Complaints in RelationshipsResponsive to passion. "Poor average" men get married all the time, it works when they have a thing that they are passionate about. A garden, an art, a history of teaching the youth about something, maintaining the local hiking trail, being amazing at putting stones together to build rock walls, cooking well, being that one guy in the group that actually plans the social gathering. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/01/25 05:09 PM |
| 1 | There are Double Standards towards Men's Complaints in Relationships vs Women's Complaints in RelationshipsSister in not being religious, I was trying to find an easily Googled sample of a male physique to describe why a still photo really doesn't work, but a video of performance does. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/01/25 04:29 PM |
| 1 | There are Double Standards towards Men's Complaints in Relationships vs Women's Complaints in RelationshipsLet's take for example Lin Manuel Miranda. 5'9", weak jaw, slender build. The desire is from the passion and intensity in his commitment to his art. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/01/25 04:14 PM |
| 1 | For people who are coupled: how many of these posts seem to be from people who just need better parents, aunties, uncles?I'm unfamiliar with the book, can you describe why you would choose it? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/01/25 04:07 PM |
| 1 | For people who are coupled: how many of these posts seem to be from people who just need better parents, aunties, uncles?Did you ever sit with them and ask their story? Gosh I really loved hearing some of the love stories and misadventures from my aunts and uncles. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/01/25 04:06 PM |
| 1 | For people who are coupled: how many of these posts seem to be from people who just need better parents, aunties, uncles?people find it easer to mark the opposite sex as the adversary rather than checking their own shoes on an individual level. Brilliant. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/01/25 04:04 PM |
| 1 | For people who are coupled: how many of these posts seem to be from people who just need better parents, aunties, uncles?This is super. Just practice. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/01/25 04:02 PM |
| 1 | For people who are coupled: how many of these posts seem to be from people who just need better parents, aunties, uncles?and we deserve the absence of it. You do not deserve the absence of it. You deserve to be held in the light. You are worthy. I want for you to find romantic and sexual partners and social partners. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/01/25 04:00 PM |
| 3 | The true RP position is that male friendships, not romantic relationships, are the answer to the male loneliness epidemicIf the word itself is the issue we can avoid it. What I mean is that I want to be able to be the person for him who manages a pimple on his scrotum that he can't see, or hears his frustration when something goes really awfully embarrassing at work, or his buddy turns up alcoholic and he's sad about it. Sharing the low moments is a strength that some people call vulnerability. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/01/25 03:55 PM |
| 1 | For people who are coupled: how many of these posts seem to be from people who just need better parents, aunties, uncles?There's ... a lot to unpack in this comment. Divorce rape, lack of trust in your family's skillset. Yes, if the people around you aren't portraying good examples you should look elsewhere. Find a good "logical" family, a found family of aunts and uncles by choice who are solid folk with reliable relationships. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/01/25 03:49 PM |
| 2 | There are Double Standards towards Men's Complaints in Relationships vs Women's Complaints in Relationshipsarouse that spontaneous desire Isn't that by definition responsive desire, if someone has to arouse it from you? I'm nitpicking, friend, let's be ok. The message from the book isn't that men are "Jesters" and it's not that people are universally one was or the other. It's that sometimes you need to get into your lover's head in order to turn them on. Which can be a very weird revelation for people who aren't built like that. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/01/25 03:44 PM |
| 2 | For people who are coupled: how many of these posts seem to be from people who just need better parents, aunties, uncles?I recall in my twenties having a shift where I was invited in to being more of an adult, more privy to adult concerns and information about how the adults around me were being. As in, not all relationships are perfect. This is what your cousin has decided to tolerate, this is what your other cousin got through with some therapy, this is why those two don't talk anymore. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/01/25 03:38 PM |
| 1 | For people who are coupled: how many of these posts seem to be from people who just need better parents, aunties, uncles?Both the guys and the gals are saying this online dating makes them feel bad. This is an observation. That is what researchers do, they observe. I record that over and over the guys here say they are 90% rejected, having to play games, thinking about sex as a transaction. Redpill guys particularly. While the gals seem to feel constantly being played or tricked. It is quite feminist to simply ask all people to show up in real life, be honest, pay your own way, be genuine about whether you're horn… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/01/25 03:34 PM |
| 2 | For people who are coupled: how many of these posts seem to be from people who just need better parents, aunties, uncles?Nah, I've never been one to spend money on clothes or shoes, I'm not fancy. The user name was randomly generated. Can we get a cup of tea and be friends? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/01/25 03:27 PM |
| 1 | For people who are coupled: how many of these posts seem to be from people who just need better parents, aunties, uncles?Yes, go out and have a social life! Find the community theater group and volunteer to help build or paint sets. There is a church somewhere near you that provides a hot dinner once a week for people who are food insecure and you don't need to be religious to be involved. The library may have a drop in chess club. If you have ten bucks, there's a Lindy Swing class down at the bar on Tuesday nights. Go talk to people. Frequently, and over time. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/01/25 03:24 PM |
| 2 | For people who are coupled: how many of these posts seem to be from people who just need better parents, aunties, uncles?I do sometimes feel awkward about claiming that title, I knew it's more common in Indonesian, other east Asian culture to refer to any other respected older women as auntie. It seems a term that can be taken without disrespect. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/01/25 06:40 AM |
| 4 | For people who are coupled: how many of these posts seem to be from people who just need better parents, aunties, uncles?Do you have a resource for this that isn't "wah, I didn't get picked?" | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/01/25 06:29 AM |
| 1 | For people who are coupled: how many of these posts seem to be from people who just need better parents, aunties, uncles?Fifth generation USA, one side Mayflower mutt and the other bizarrely pure German immigrant from early 1800s. Very white, my dad was the first in his family to ever go to university or leave the state. My parents were both hippies. I was raised in a very liberal community feeling that probably the extra adults around us are forces for good in the world and likely to have good things to say. My parents have always appropriately vetted and invited in extra people for Turkey day, fourth of July, ra… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/01/25 06:26 AM |
| 3 | For people who are coupled: how many of these posts seem to be from people who just need better parents, aunties, uncles?Eh, I'd disagree with the sniff test of the first half. If you switch the gender in the sentence you said, you contradict yourself. Stability, reliability, and commitment to family values should be important to any partner. Male or female, that's the feminist viewpoint. The second bit I agree with. Both my kids should be prepared to pay their own way, ask out dates, be proud of how they impact their community. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/01/25 06:17 AM |
| 1 | For people who are coupled: how many of these posts seem to be from people who just need better parents, aunties, uncles?What specific direction from your boomer parents was important to throw away? In which dating arena have you found success? How can we (I'm not quite a boomer, more a late Gen Xer) old fuddy duds support young whipper snappers wanting to get their wild on. Without hurting each other. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/01/25 06:05 AM |
| 3 | For people who are coupled: how many of these posts seem to be from people who just need better parents, aunties, uncles?My culture has applied this honorific "auntie" to any woman who is halfway to a parent, more than a babysitter or a neighbor. Some aunties and uncles are by blood, and some not, some visit once a year and some more often. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/01/25 05:59 AM |
| 2 | For people who are coupled: how many of these posts seem to be from people who just need better parents, aunties, uncles?This is it. You understand it. This is exactly why I'm here. I'm quite aware that I grew up and dated and married in a different space than my kids are facing. I want to understand it enough to be able to support them. So far, it looks kinda like online dating is horrible for everyone, similar to the research about social media being bad for teenagers self esteem in other fields. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/01/25 04:50 AM |
| 5 | For people who are coupled: how many of these posts seem to be from people who just need better parents, aunties, uncles?I don't disagree. How can we rescue these young'uns that are hurting? They all sound so much in pain. I've also been hanging around the mom for a minute and internet parents subs and it feels really similar, I just want to give all these kids a cup of tea and a hug. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/01/25 04:27 AM |
| 2 | For people who are coupled: how many of these posts seem to be from people who just need better parents, aunties, uncles?I'm at a weird tipping point where the young in my life are early or pre dating, but my younger cousins and all didn't meet their committed relationships online. I do have a cousin who married from an online match but that was twenty years ago before it got toxic. The huge majority of people in my life went out, got sociable, got set up, let it flow. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/01/25 04:24 AM |
| 1 | For people who are coupled: how many of these posts seem to be from people who just need better parents, aunties, uncles?I really truly believe in this and technically didn't do it. It is working out in the end twenty years later, I think because we traveled and spent lots of extra long weekends together. It just makes me giggle that I always felt it was important to live together first and for logistical reasons (graduate school) it couldn't happen for us before we married. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/01/25 04:20 AM |
| 4 | For people who are coupled: how many of these posts seem to be from people who just need better parents, aunties, uncles?Perhaps we have a partial language barrier. I'm fifth generation USA. I feel pretty culturally "Western". I was born in the 1970s. My parents always made a point of including my boyfriends, inviting them to dinner, to take a family hike, to help cut up a fallen tree, wanting to know if they had a sports game or music performance that we can all go support. Bring it in. I think the tradcons/ redpills sometimes don't talk openly with their kids about how it can be valuable and important to have lo… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/01/25 04:13 AM |
| 3 | For people who are coupled: how many of these posts seem to be from people who just need better parents, aunties, uncles?Right? It's the online dating apps on the Internet, man. It has taken some completely sane normal young men and women and fractured them, put them under some weird pressure cooker situation to where previously reasonable people act crazy pants. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/01/25 03:59 AM |
| 3 | For people who are coupled: how many of these posts seem to be from people who just need better parents, aunties, uncles?I think the basic drives of the species haven't changed, so the experiences of us in our forties is still relevant. Or at least can be as we try to assist the young to go actually talk to people. As in, the dynamics may have changed but only in so far as they have been affected by people who primarily date online. The online space is, I think, fantastic for sharing excitement about gaming consoles, backyard chickens, guns, bodyweight fitness, sobriety, recipes, gardening ... and it looks pretty … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/01/25 03:55 AM |
| 3 | For people who are coupled: how many of these posts seem to be from people who just need better parents, aunties, uncles?I think it's been fractured and magnified. As in, actual pieces of the community have been carved out and put into the online scene and their experiences have been made floridly extreme. My kids are 14 and 17 and have a strong curriculum from school and me that they don't interact with people online that they don't know in real life. We don't monitor their phones, at this point they are displaying age appropriate behavior. We encourage them to prioritize dating interest in person, and to be soci… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/01/25 02:54 AM |
| 8 | For people who are coupled: how many of these posts seem to be from people who just need better parents, aunties, uncles?I'm certain I don't fully understand, but from what I can see it looks really really really really really toxic. The companies have a financial interest in keeping you scrolling and swiping, not in successful matches. That's all you really need to know. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/01/25 02:28 AM |
| 1 | There are Double Standards towards Men's Complaints in Relationships vs Women's Complaints in RelationshipsJust try it out, man. Come move to a fun feminist neighborhood and visit a few city sponsored evening events and chat some women up. At least the gals I work with who are younger and on the market, they seem to expect to pay half. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/01/25 02:26 AM |
| 3 | The true RP position is that male friendships, not romantic relationships, are the answer to the male loneliness epidemicNot at first. In my later teens and college years it was just the occasional reminiscence but I recall some very transformative conversations when I was about 25, we were allowing some pretty seismic shifts about how we relate. They started gently treating me more like a peer with regard to relationship decisions. They're my parents, they're now late seventies, and I respect them and their wisdom, but there are now some components that aren't parent like. In fact we are starting to slip to the o… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/01/25 02:22 AM |
| 3 | For people who are coupled: how many of these posts seem to be from people who just need better parents, aunties, uncles?Not even a "go get 'em tiger"? I've always been low key interested in the dating life of my teenagers' friends, like we talk about exams and sports first, but then we check in on whether friend Z heard back from the date request. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/01/25 02:10 AM |
| 3 | For people who are coupled: how many of these posts seem to be from people who just need better parents, aunties, uncles?I did enjoy hearing stories about the early dating times from many of my older family. One uncle, this would have been in the early 60s, met my aunt at some social mixer in Manhattan and he was quite struck with her but due to leave the country for two weeks. He created a rumor at the party she was a lesbian to frost everyone else out until his return. Back in those days it was a pretty scandalous maneuver and would not have been directly challenged. They shared the story with chuckles and love,… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/01/25 01:58 AM |
| 7 | For people who are coupled: how many of these posts seem to be from people who just need better parents, aunties, uncles?Take care of your own shit (mental and physical health). Pull your own weight (dating ideas and money). Don't be embarrassed about being horny, it's normal. Don't give in to pressure to do things you feel misgivings about, it's never too late to say "no" and walk away. Even if the clothes are off, if it feels wrong, don't do it. ... Do not marry or have children with someone that you cannot talk with frankly about finances or whether the kids have diarrhea. Because those things are going to come… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/01/25 01:50 AM |
| 1 | "The bar is in hell" and other such sayings...I agree that this issue of not having real life community is becoming a reality, and it's a real problem, particularly for how it's hurting the young single people. You can pick that up within cities inside hobby groups - often at the close of a special interest class people will eventually start asking to go out for some nachos as a group and you can develop community. I do indeed live in a blue state, and a particularly liberal city inside that state. I have absolutely borrowed food and traded… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/01/25 01:40 AM |
| -1 | "The bar is in hell" and other such sayings...The apps really do exaggerate everything and maximize the importance of whether people are photogenic. Which isn't the same as attractive. I've known many people who photograph poorly but have the rizz in person. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/01/25 10:07 PM |
| 0 | "The bar is in hell" and other such sayings...If the apps don't work for 90% of men, then find another avenue. Take an evening course in local botany, or beekeeping, or Lindy Swing. Or all of those at once, pack your schedule. Talk to people. Your closest city nearly certainly has a series of free to the public community events like "art in the park" or "live music in the grass outside the library on Thursdays". Go to them. Talk to people. Over a few weeks, be one of those people in the crowd that goes out to grab a meal after. Casually let… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/01/25 09:29 PM |
| 17 | The true RP position is that male friendships, not romantic relationships, are the answer to the male loneliness epidemicI partially reject the premise. I agree that male friendships, male spaces are important. Most of the men in my life have cultivated these, such as a sport club or other interest group that's in the end, really an excuse to hang out with men. I think that's grand. I think it's really healthy for them, and important. For example my dad is 78 now and part of a weekly horseshoe league and they are a bit silly and chuckling about how during that one 4 hour segment of the week, no women are allowed o… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/01/25 09:19 PM |
| 5 | There are lots of women who will counterintuitively RAISE their standards in the face of nonsuccess in datingThe men around me who aren't 6' tall and have average jobs who have found marriage can also typically be described as having other important qualities, such as being a passionate cook, or a reliable friend, or an enthusiastic dancer, or an inspiring writer, or a known regular volunteering at the food bank. The apps are just so toxic. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/01/25 09:01 PM |
| 1 | There are Double Standards towards Men's Complaints in Relationships vs Women's Complaints in RelationshipsSpeak the truth! Rah! | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/01/25 07:23 PM |
| 3 | There are Double Standards towards Men's Complaints in Relationships vs Women's Complaints in RelationshipsAnybody read the Nagoski book Come As You Are? She describes a theory about sexual desire having "gas and brakes" that are largely mental. Like, we all know that if you've got a bad cold you feel less sexy than just after achieving a great physical accomplishment like peaking a mountain or winning a sparring match. Sometimes you are both turned on and turned off, and it's a matter of which one is stronger. Women can be really in their heads. I mean, everyone can, but women's bodies more so than … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/01/25 07:21 PM |
| 3 | There are Double Standards towards Men's Complaints in Relationships vs Women's Complaints in RelationshipsI think you're correct, there are double standards. That's the big problem with redpill stuff. It's feminist to expect to pay your own portion or alternate funding dates, generate your share of the cute little romantic surprises, feel good about feeling sexy, feel good about whipping out a toy or rubbing yourself during sex if that's what you need to orgasm, and talk frankly with your partner about what you need sexually and romantically. It's definitely feminist to buy a man a drink if you thin… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/01/25 07:03 PM |
| 2 | There should be a requirement to flair your sexual orientation when debating on this subI understand your interest in context, but I think it's impossible to fully express everything in the flair, and having just one layer may actually give wrong impressions. For example, I can flair myself as a purple pilled married woman, married twenty years, with kids, mostly straight. People will assume I'm here to pick fights and eat popcorn. Really, my kids are in high school and I'm honestly a bit frightened by how the dating scene seems to have changed with all this online stuff, red pill … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/01/25 05:16 PM |
| – | Seriously, where do people meet?Hmmm You enjoying the thought? It's salacious. Because on some nights when there's a stadium show, or it's Halloween or St Patrick's, the college kids get stupid and we plan ahead. The boys try to urinate in the hall, routinely. The girls don't have enough clothes. We check them all for injury and watch them until they can walk, but we don't send them home together. Even if we find them trying to grope eachother. Not cute. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/01/25 04:32 AM |
| 1 | Seriously, where do people meet?Hehe. The ED is a bad place to meet people, and that's why you said it. And I said what I said because, even though you were messing around, people do that stuff. Often enough that the ED has typical routines in place to keep things on the up and up. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/01/25 09:39 PM |
| 5 | The reasons women show while talking against "financial" abortion is eerily similar to the same reasoning that conservatives show for banning abortion."Emmenagogues" are things that bring on a menstrual flow, and they are described in ancient Greece and Egypt and most medieval "homemaker" texts as a standard part of knowing how to run a home. In essence, knowing how to give any young woman in the household an early abortion, before quickening. Even the Bible only mentions abortion in the context of how to perform one Numbers 5:11-31. So basically abortion had been a norm throughout recorded history until puritans settled North America and trie… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/01/25 06:49 AM |
| 2 | Seriously, where do people meet?We cohort the drunk college kids so that at 7 am when we wake them up and put them in clean clothes from the donation bin, we can send them back to each school together. But we do keep the guys apart from the gals. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/01/25 12:39 AM |
| 3 | Being unable to hold a conversation on a date is not a gendered issue. It’s an effort issue.There are great reasons to do crunches, planks and other core stabilizers for general health and to avoid back pain, but 6 packs are made in the kitchen. My cutie is 55 now and has regained a four pack. He went mostly vegan and alcohol free, lost thirty lbs over about a year. I'm completely certain he does not do any crunches at all. He's fairly active with yardwork, but no crunches or other ab workout. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/01/25 12:29 AM |
| 1 | The Patriarchy Is Dead In Most Western CountriesNope. With a heavy popped final p. That was medicine, law, basic undergrad and all advanced degrees taken in summary. Read the links. I don't think that it makes then better humans, nor more valuable or worthy of sex. My sweet husband himself has "only a bachelor's" and he just got himself sucked off before sleep. Buuuuuuuuut for our kiddos, who are teens, we are interested in how often they and their friends feel encouraged to seek advanced education. And it's interesting how the trends are cha… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/01/25 07:30 AM |
| 2 | The Patriarchy Is Dead In Most Western CountriesThis attitude isn't going to survive well. I'm not claiming that anything is inherently feminine, simply that blinded tests and rates of interest end up being feminine in current studies of higher education which is true for better or worse, whatever reason. Guys are exceedingly welcome and it's not even considered that they aren't competent, they have different Interests. Note that my entire post indicated that men and women are equal aside from lifting heavy things. Where they excel. And we en… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/01/25 07:05 AM |
| 1 | The Patriarchy Is Dead In Most Western CountriesThose are the people who get worse healthcare/legal/education outcomes because they presume leadership based on gender. Yes there is a basic biological instinct to defer to the taller person with the lower voice, but it doesn't correlate with better outcomes. Have you been in a trauma bay run by a female physician? It's baller. There's reasons why more women than men are matriculating to undergrad, but even more more so to advanced degree programs such as med school, law school etc. The educatio… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/01/25 06:23 AM |
| 54 | To be an exception, you have to actually be exceptional.Yes. I'm coming at this from a weird perspective because I'm longtime married and have two teen kids, I'm interested in my son and daughter having dating experiences that are not insane. I want them both to feel valuable and respected. I want then both to understand that it's ok to have practice relationships that don't result in marriage, but are still required to behave well. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/01/25 07:57 AM |
| 10 | N COUNTS WEEKLY DISCUSSION THREADHehe. I have a ludicrous story that I've shared with I think only one human in real life. I was a medical student on my ObGyn rotation, and happened to be quite pregnant myself. Med students on rotation spend a ton of time in the hospital, basically doing make work and being terrified and trying to observe the task practice of medicine. I, not interested in ObGyn and 37 weeks pregnant, was not a star student but I wasn't horrible, I tried to pull my weight and not be a drag. One day, a lovely he… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/01/25 05:35 AM |
| 2 | The Patriarchy Is Dead In Most Western CountriesAnd by Emily Post, for formal address in wedding invites, my advanced degree precedes my husband's Mr, even as we share a last name. Not that I care, but the Christmas cards should properly be addressed to "Dr and Mr Doe" instead of "His family". What the meeting ended up doing for the next several years was listing everyone present including nurses, visiting specialists, by their full name and training on first mention and then only initials without honorific thereafter. It was exquisitely awkw… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/01/25 05:04 PM |
| 1 | Young chronically single men thanks to their mothersHaven't psychologists said for a long time that part of female emotional resilience is due to having closer emotional connection to people who are friends and family? Is this the painful route towards men learning they need to put effort into those nonsexual relationships? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/01/25 01:55 PM |
| 3 | Q4W. Rich women's dating preferenceI feel I should pitch in because this is a super small demographic that I fit into, mostly. I am already married and I do see that dating market has changed. But... I'm a physician. So I'm by myself a top 10% earner in my state. And while my particular field is still male dominated I am friends with many other women physicians. It's difficult. Taken as a sum, I do know many women physicians who are married to other physicians, which is largely a proximity thing, we were in hell together (med sch… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/01/25 06:58 AM |
| 8 | The Patriarchy Is Dead In Most Western CountriesDude, it's still going on. I work in medicine and every damn day that I enter a room alongside a tech or a PA who is male, the patients look to him for the decisions. And I do indeed have a badge that says DOCTOR in inch high letters, screaming orange. It's tiresome. 8 years ago I actually received meeting minutes that noted contributions from Dr MansLastName and my first name, though we hold the same degree and credential. You'd best believe that my Southern sweet reply resulted in some changes… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/01/25 05:21 AM |
| 1 | The “male loneliness epidemic” is self inflicted... yet. Lindy is definitely a net positive in your dating resume. Just wait for much of it to be sideways, as in you don't make a pass at another dancer (it's not a pickup scene) but you do casually let folks generally be aware that you're willing to be set up on a date and you'd treat their friend well. And be a part of that big group that goes out for a burger when the band is done. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/01/25 10:50 PM |
| 4 | The “male loneliness epidemic” is self inflictedThis is why we, as real parents and friends, and also as Internet parents, must share as many of these stories as possible. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/01/25 09:29 PM |
| -2 | The “male loneliness epidemic” is self inflictedIt's a huge start though. Now you are more physically fit, appreciate the art of music, and casually know a few dozen people. Let a few of them know that you're looking to date seriously and word will indeed get around. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/01/25 09:10 PM |
| 2 | The “male loneliness epidemic” is self inflictedEm, my husband and I, my parents, most of my friend group was set up by friends. Sometimes subtly by just inviting both people places, but sometimes obviously "you two would be cute together". | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/01/25 09:08 PM |
| 1 | Young chronically single men thanks to their mothersWhat do you suppose the pendulum swing will look like? Crudely, male physiology is more readily inclined to have the immediate urge to unload in a female partner. I don't pretend they are entirely alike, though I do think they are less distinct than some describe. I can't imagine the young men population really ending up content choosing being single. Or the women. I think they're both having a bit of a tantrum and they're going to eventually figure it out. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/01/25 07:33 PM |
| 1 | Young chronically single men thanks to their mothersI really do ache for the young. When I see them in the shops, I try to compliment them and gently practice the art of flirtation. They need it. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/01/25 07:15 PM |
| 1 | Young chronically single men thanks to their mothersI am already ancient, I'm in my forties and raising teenagers, which is the real reason I'm here trying to get my head around the current dating market so I can understand what my kids will enter in their near years. I'm not at all in the market myself. So you coming into PPD and complaining about other people pointing out double standards or what have you is, by definition, weak. I don't understand this. I'm flat out promoting specific ways for other people to feel strong. Or are you calling me… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/01/25 07:12 PM |
| 3 | Young chronically single men thanks to their mothers"I am a great believer in luck, and I find the harder I work, the more I have of it." Sometimes attributed to Thomas Jefferson, but that's not substantiated. I agree, this isn't a gendered thing. We're having yet another issue from helicopter parents twenty years ago that never allowed kids to manage their own snacks, homework, or relationships. The antidote to anxiety is confidence. When applied to raising children that means gradually, increasingly letting them face situations they perceive as… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/01/25 06:45 PM |
| 2 | Young chronically single men thanks to their mothersMy husband, my father, nearly all the men I work with, also are simply nice decent humans who paired up with nice decent human women who aren't ball busters. All feminists. I live in a city that is sorta ridiculously extra liberal, as in queer pride is huge here, we have two primary care clinics that are focused on trans and non binary health, people move here specifically to gain access to the acceptance. Ball busting isn't felt to be cute. Not a good look. We like our men to feel grand if they… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/01/25 05:49 PM |
| 3 | Young chronically single men thanks to their mothersI just don't understand why it can't be that everyone is allowed to be strong. Why do so many posts in this sub seem to need to be at the expense of someone else? Humanity, feeling good about yourself, and dating are not zero sum games. This isn't like portioning out the baking ingredients and fearing there won't be enough left. Dating is definitely a rising tide floats all boats situation. Men and women both want to be respected and happy and to feel good and strong. ... I can't speak to the ab… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/01/25 05:36 PM |
| 1 | If TRPillers were honest with what they´re saying, they would have 0 issue with single women, cat ladies, sluts etc.Well the toxic one was a red piller, for what that's worth. Not a good impression. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/01/25 06:26 AM |
| 1 | If TRPillers were honest with what they´re saying, they would have 0 issue with single women, cat ladies, sluts etc.And this is why, embarrassing as it is, I've taken care to tell my 17 old daughter stories about my high school and college relationships, and how they were caring and valuable even if they didn't end in marriage. I still don't understand this zeitgeist, as honestly (I'm in my forties) the only two single humans I know are both women. I think I live in a weird pocket though. I was talking with a friend earlier this afternoon actually, about how it's statistically abnormal how few people we know … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/01/25 10:55 PM |
| 1 | The Man You You Want vs The Men You Are Attracted ToWhy can't married women play along? Attributes I thought I wanted: kind, light-hearted, generous, passionate about a handful of silly things to talk about and a few things that drift close to saving the world, ambitious but not too much that it would overtake family life, reliable. Attributes of the man I married and the final two boyfriends before him: not in order of importance but in the order that an observer might notice them: fit, groomed, completely comfortable helping some stranger at th… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/01/25 10:44 PM |
| 2 | If TRPillers were honest with what they´re saying, they would have 0 issue with single women, cat ladies, sluts etc.I don't understand the absolutes. I remained on amicable terms with nearly all of the young men I dated in college and early twenties, though over the years and career moves they've drifted away. Average relationship length of about a year, until I got married twenty years ago (and going strong). In nearly all of those relationships we were both able to express interests and boundaries. I could say no, he could say no, I could plan a date, he could plan a date, etc. I had exactly one relationshi… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/01/25 09:40 PM |
| 3 | why won't women engage with men?This comment is everything, I hope the OP takes it seriously. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/01/25 03:40 PM |
| 1 | why won't women engage with men?Because it's fantaaaaaaasssstic. And everyone needs to read it. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/01/25 12:25 PM |
| 2 | For Men, Single Life Is the Solution—Not Something to FearI think the red pill guys have this fantasy of a very wide range of women who are loosely promiscuous with a very narrow fraction of men, and I've just never seen it. All humans, men and women, have a spectrum of shyness and lust. And a range of how their community is telling them whether it's ok to indulge. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/01/25 03:20 AM |
| 1 | For Men, Single Life Is the Solution—Not Something to FearEmpathize a bit more, dude. Being chased by a salivating pack or catcalled all day doesn't feel good, it feels scary. Bring told you got a job not on your intellectual merits but your bust shape, it doesn't feel good, it leads to women who spend all day doubting themselves. Getting the media message that you must be shaved and painted at all times in order to be acceptable, that sucks. I'm raising a young man and a young woman, I'm open to both perspectives, I just see them as equally prone to b… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/01/25 02:27 AM |
| 2 | why won't women engage with men?And, with regards to your flair, you have, of course experienced the joy of Hyperbole and a half | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/01/25 02:19 AM |
| 8 | why won't women engage with men?I'm just wondering if some of us are simply more ... lusty? Maybe the word I'm trying to find is passionate? Lusty can sometimes imply disloyalty, but need not do so. I'm one to enjoy good foods, good music, and to say it out loud. Once I know a man really understands that I'm not trying to pick him up, I'll compliment him in what might seem otherwise flirtatious ways, but the idea is always "you go get it with your wife, tiger, you're both hot as hell". I'm certainly more reserved in any situat… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/01/25 02:16 AM |
| 29 | why won't women engage with men?I engage with plenty of men, I just don't engage them in a romantic capacity. I imagine most women are the same. This. Exactly. I mean, my situation is a bit different because I've been married a long time, but as my kids approach dating age I'm starting to think about this lots more. I think an important part of raising them has been to approach the world expecting it to be interesting and fun, and that applies to meeting new people. And appreciating them. When you meet a new person, actively s… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/01/25 11:03 PM |
| 3 | For Men, Single Life Is the Solution—Not Something to FearAnd the flip side of that is a woman going through life feeling as though her only value is as a sex object. It can get really poisonous. I'm not saying that there's no misery happening, I'm saying that there's plenty of it to go around. ... Pandemic was really awful for social development and dating behavior, for sure. I'm certain it will take a generation to fully understand all the ways it hurt us. In the mist immediate aftermath, it's felt that the effects were measurably worse for women (fi… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/01/25 08:18 PM |
| 2 | For Men, Single Life Is the Solution—Not Something to FearIt was one of the middle chunks of a two year human wellness course, I think that part was early fifth grade. It's usually around seventh grade when adolescents become a bit obsessed with grooming and image. This was a good way to introduce the power, the fun, but also the opportunity for toxicity. Depending on how mature the group is it can get as direct as "sex sells" but also range into basic concepts of power in gender and age dynamics. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/01/25 07:53 PM |
| 1 | For Men, Single Life Is the Solution—Not Something to Fearstop being single in couple of minutes of swiping on Tinder or Hinge Not quite. They know they can get sex. Which is quite different than being in a relationship. The women's subs are full of women that don't actually want to have to give sex in order to get a chance at a relationship. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/01/25 05:43 PM |
| 1 | Unless you do a paternity test you can only ever be about 90% sure that you actually fathered a childThose are also fantastic | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/01/25 05:25 PM |
| 4 | For Men, Single Life Is the Solution—Not Something to FearMy kids' school has a fantastic human sexuality curriculum and one of the early phases has to do with gender and advertising. The kids go through magazines together and talk about how the adverts are using posture, clothes, lighting, facial expressions and makeup to express masculinity or feminity or gender bending in order to sell products. The message from the teachers isn't that it's necessarily "good or bad" but more that it's ubiquitous because it pays off for the advertiser. That we should… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/01/25 05:24 PM |
| 2 | Unless you do a paternity test you can only ever be about 90% sure that you actually fathered a childForgive the use of tiktok, but if you haven't seen this poem about the big bang by Ellie Cordova, you are missing out. It's just a little over a minute and it's fantastic. there was no up, there was no down, there was no side to side | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/01/25 03:59 PM |
| 2 | The empathy gap is real: A photo of an enslaved woman in Libya rocks RedditOh I think it's often contentious, but it can go both ways and the law has become more fair. I'm friends with a higher earning woman who had to negotiate carefully. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/01/25 05:42 AM |
| 1 | What do you think of the super anti woke types of guys?I understand that you're hurt. Whoever this "man" is, he's terrible and shouldn't be like that. His words about "peasants" and whatnot are terrible. Join us. Move to a better place. We have fun things in the city square on a weekday evening, and usually the Tuesday afternoon farmers market has a band it's good and the kids like to boogie. I see young couples getting a coffee and sitting on the wall to watch while they flirt, it's cute. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/01/25 05:09 AM |
| 2 | The empathy gap is real: A photo of an enslaved woman in Libya rocks RedditYes? As in yes, modern divorces are heavily predicated towards equitable distribution, i.e. anything from before the marriage stays that way, inheritance can easily be kept separate, anything earned during the marriage gets split. If the marriage has lasted more than ten years with her earning no wage, alimony is a thing. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/01/25 05:01 AM |
| 2 | The empathy gap is real: A photo of an enslaved woman in Libya rocks RedditEmotional abuse isn't considered to be a "fault". C'mon dude. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/01/25 02:34 AM |
| 0 | The empathy gap is real: A photo of an enslaved woman in Libya rocks RedditThoughtful, smart. I'm second generation feminist and my kids are teens. I'm always seeking good samples of ways to explain to my kids that yes, they are both capable, they are both bright. To bring it back to this sub reddit, they are both responsible to create dates and take care of their romantic interest. BUT at the same time, his muscle fibers are under the influence of different hormones than hers. Their lungs and hearts function differently. He isn't yet, but will almost certainly be tall… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/01/25 02:33 AM |
| 1 | What do you think of the super anti woke types of guys?You can react to me however you like, but you do describe strong emotional responses to the man in your post, hating him etc. Just move to a big city. Start making a practice of getting your breakfast/coffee in the public square, sit on the bench for ten minutes and people watch. Every city has weird-ass fun free stuff, parades and arts events, you will quickly bump into real life liberal women. You simply need to figure out whether it's publicized on a local website, the local paper, a corkboar… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/01/25 02:21 AM |
| 2 | What do you think of the super anti woke types of guys?Move to any bigger city where people must interact with other people - that's a huge propulsion behind liberalism. Stop it with the fascination with that guy. Just drop and block. Fill your mind with fresh, more interesting things. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/01/25 12:54 AM |
| 2 | There are enough single men that women never have to beg for orgasm.You're correct I can't know his inner workings, but he still lives half an hour from me and we have some distant mutual friends. At no earlier point in his life was he ever discreet about crowing to the moon when he was paired up. I have had the experience of working closely with one of his paramours and caring for another one several times. And he's not crowing like that in the last decade, it's just pets and carpentry. Maybe he did indeed finally learn discretion. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/01/25 09:25 PM |
| 2 | The Provider Man Model No Longer Works in Modern Western Relationships. It's a scam.The healing of this doesn't lie in suppressing the idea of any person wanting to provide dollars or safety for the person they love. The healing lies in massively leaning into all of the other valuable things men can do. Support and love on boys and men that snuggle a baby, cook a meal, remember a birthday card, organize a party. Those are attractive qualities and we shouldn't see them as not masculine. We should celebrate them. The women that I know who are breadwinners are unabashed about comp… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/01/25 05:37 PM |
| 2 | The Provider Man Model No Longer Works in Modern Western Relationships. It's a scam.Racial integration and gay marriage were also initially opposed. If we can zoom out a bit, we are moving in the right direction and experiencing hiccups. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/01/25 05:09 PM |
| 3 | There are 2 harsh truths that men and women have accept sooner or later.I am beginning to think that I'm an outlier. Through my life, my default setting has always been to notice the attributes of those around me that are sexy. Like, I wouldn't actually fuck them because I'm married and monogamous, but I low key move through my entire day thinking "she's hot, he's hot, those are amazing lips, gosh those hips, dang that ass, yes please with the shoulder muscles". | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/01/25 04:46 PM |
| 1 | There are 2 harsh truths that men and women have accept sooner or later.If I'm leaving the house there can only be one motivating factor for that. Hyperbole, I hope? Like, I understand the drive to smash, but really? I think of myself as a lusty person, inside the spectrum of humanity. When surrounded by people approximately my age, my default setting is to notice the attributes they have that are attractive/sexy. I'm nearly always the initiator of sexual contact in my marriage. If all else is done and kept up with and there's nothing to do, I'm likely to orgasm sev… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/01/25 04:39 PM |
| 0 | There are enough single men that women never have to beg for orgasm.Is it telling that twenty five years later, when I think back on that relationship, I recall all of his aunts and uncles, his brothers and nephews, where they lived and what they loved to cook, their favorite restaurant ... and not the sex we had? As in, we had sex, over that time period we certainly had plenty of sex. And he certainly talked about it. But it wasn't apparently memorable. Big dicks are stupid. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/01/25 03:08 AM |
| 2 | The Provider Man Model No Longer Works in Modern Western Relationships. It's a scam.That's ok. But it's a you thing. For the current world situation, my lovely wonderful exceedingly privileged father and husband and son, all three of them white and healthy and at least middle class wealthy, they understand that feminism means equality, not male suppression. They're in favor. They enjoy having their masculine focused spaces, we women support that. We appreciate their differences. I gaze longingly upon mine. These are all feminist actions. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/01/25 12:04 AM |
| 1 | There are enough single men that women never have to beg for orgasm.I was young and silly, and I've always been probably too loyal. I didn't stay with him for dick reasons, it was the guitar music (playing local gigs), long hair and excellent food he cooked. The dick thing was actually an early detriment, and ongoing nuisance, particularly how he talked about it. I still maintain that women shouldn't sleep with a man until he's made her come at least once. Fully agree. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/01/25 09:54 PM |
| 6 | The Provider Man Model No Longer Works in Modern Western Relationships. It's a scam.weirdly controversial concept for some women Trad women. Redpill people. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/01/25 09:20 PM |
| 14 | The Provider Man Model No Longer Works in Modern Western Relationships. It's a scam.It is explicitly feminist to expect this of men and women. Feminism includes wanting to make space for guys to have emotions and stay home with the kids IF they want to. We need to use the word for several decades until it just becomes normal to expect everyone to be equal. The red pill guys don't want it. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/01/25 09:19 PM |
| 13 | The Provider Man Model No Longer Works in Modern Western Relationships. It's a scam.Y'all need more feminists. I, two of my closest friends, and several more in my larger circle, have gals who are the primary breadwinners. The guys are still masculine and respected and getting laid. They simply help the family in different ways. We love them. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/01/25 08:31 PM |
| 8 | The Provider Man Model No Longer Works in Modern Western Relationships. It's a scam.Good gravy. Context for my perspective, I'm a woman, I've a good marriage and my male and female children are teens. My son, when he dates (he doesn't have armpit hair yet and doesn't seem to be dating), will be expecting a "helpmeet", a person who carries their own weight, has some kind of fulfilling career, does half the housework. We literally have a "chore wheel" that rotates so that every human in the house can be held responsible for every job. He should expect to find affection and attent… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/01/25 08:24 PM |
| 3 | There are enough single men that women never have to beg for orgasm.(psssst ... he's lying. He has no life beyond his penis and that's why he's talking to you about how he uses it.) Back in college I wasted a year and a half on a 6'3" dude who was obsessed with his big dick. Twenty five years later he's alone posting on Facebook about backyard chickens, not connected to his family, no lover. I do like backyard chickens, but I'm also married with kids and close with extended family. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/01/25 08:06 PM |
| 3 | There are enough single men that women never have to beg for orgasm.Online dating looks so incredibly toxic. For everyone. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/01/25 07:55 PM |
| 3 | Whats a way for a man to understand periods and make it easier for women?Also, a basic understanding that it's not just you're normal you're normal !bang! You're bleeding and cramping. Back to normal. It's truly a cycle, like the seasons of the year. Every woman is highly different but in average there are measurable changes in attention to detail, spacial reasoning, irritability, based on the first part (follicular phase) vs the second part (luteal phase) of the month. link Women have changes in creativity as well. For my body, my breasts seem to change the most, I … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/01/25 07:50 PM |
| 5 | Whats a way for a man to understand periods and make it easier for women?I've been with my husband for twenty plus years, many various types of menstrual control/ contraception over time. Mostly I really like his ability to roll with my body's changes. For example. Some parts of my cycle I like rough breast play, and some I really don't. He has learned to do some gentle exploration and has by now a good understanding of where I am and when to meet that. So in specific response to the OP, basically accepting that the body changes a fair bit during the cycle, that's im… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/01/25 04:16 PM |
| – | Whats your opinion on what men think the female gaze is?Oooh I'm all about the food. Sweet: make ahead dough that can be popped into the oven for cookies. Have ice cream. Semi sweet: get a wheel of cheap brie and some crackers, and some nice jam, apricot or pear I find to be most pretty, but really anything works. Preheat the oven to 375, spoon the jam over the brie and let it all heat up fifteen minutes. Dig into it with the crackers. Savory: jars of olives and feta. Just throw out a rough charcuterie board by setting everything out and taking the l… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/01/25 07:31 PM |
| – | Whats your opinion on what men think the female gaze is?Sigh. I've a few age-matched friends who are single and dating, and my teens are getting close to the age that I expect they will show interest, so it feels like parenting research to try to understand what's going on out there. I really don't think the essential motivations in the human species have changed so suddenly. But this advent of online dating just seems horrid. It magnifies the small parts that always existed and turns them into a majority experience. Like, mean girls were always a th… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/01/25 07:01 PM |
| – | Whats your opinion on what men think the female gaze is?I find nearly all of online dating to be toxic. The research may be a few years behind, but it's demonstrating how toxic Instagram and tiktok have been as far as teen bullying and even suicide. Seriously, if we know that male sexuality is provoked visually, and that women feel bullied into using filters and cruising for likes and dopamine hits rather than feeling safe getting dates with strangers. How did any one think this was going to end up other than cruel? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/01/25 06:25 PM |
| – | Whats your opinion on what men think the female gaze is?Aww, that's sweet. And I could only hope to be. I just want all the young men and women to feel good about themselves and their relationships. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/01/25 06:16 PM |
| – | Whats your opinion on what men think the female gaze is?That's the joy! How ludicrous it is! The pond ice ain't great, the players don't have unform gear or even always a similar understanding of the rules. We're just outside in the weather messing around. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/01/25 04:26 PM |
| – | Whats your opinion on what men think the female gaze is?I'm 47. And married twenty years, I'm not immune to it when a man gives me the heat in his gaze but I'm also not looking for it. We are monogamous. I don't know how this sub ended up in my feed, but I'm fascinated because our kids are teens and I want to know how dating is for them. So my contribution to the sub is twenty years out of date, or else through the eye of what my teen children describe, or my friends who are currently on the market. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/01/25 04:19 PM |
| – | Whats your opinion on what men think the female gaze is?You got this! Practice more, eye every individual person as someone with something to interact about. Then, since the grocery is your safe space, take it to the coffee shop or the dog park. Again, planning that you're going to have twelve interactions that are just for their own sake, not to get a wife. Hey that's a rad hat. Do they call that a newsboy cap? I saw some cool caps at pine tree shop downtown, do you shop there? Righto I'm off to my dinner plans, see you next time! | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/01/25 04:11 PM |
| – | Whats your opinion on what men think the female gaze is?Really? I didn't plan which place to go to for a coffee, which walk to take, how to end up at the city square to look at the lights? I didn't organize let's these six friends go to this one club to dance and have shots, and I've arranged for yummy post dance snacks to be in my fridge for us to come home to? I didn't plan for my (now husband) to fly to Peru to see my cousin, walk Machu Pichu and boat along the Amazon? If the women in your life suck at planning dates, find better women. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/01/25 04:02 PM |
| – | Whats your opinion on what men think the female gaze is?I mean, I did all that. As a gal. In order to get sex. Scratch that, in order to get the sex with the guys that showed discipline and taste. So the planning and instigating was equal in my life. There were definitely times that I was horny and alone and feeling annoyed that none of the guys around me seemed like a reasonably safe situation (clingers, pushy, emotional drama). I do understand that the drive to simply have lots of sex is different - no demographic has more sex than men who have sex… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/01/25 03:31 PM |
| – | Whats your opinion on what men think the female gaze is?This sounds nuts, but in pandemic when no one was talking to anyone (and I think that gap really changed the way that people your age interact, your generation has been wounded) I practiced socialization at the grocery store. It's low stakes, like who cares if that person doesn't respond, and I've got a task to go do (escape to the bulk aisle if it feels awkward). It's a terrific place to practice. You see someone looking at the dried fruits - hey my cousin likes these ones best. You're by the c… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/01/25 03:23 PM |
| 2 | The promotion of gender wage parity should have been followed by a campaign to upend the importance of the primary male breadwinner roleI remember being in my early twenties and for the first time really fully understanding that my parents were more than parents, complete people, who dated and chose eachother and worked on their relationship together, who had frustrations and compromises and made accommodations for eachother. My parents live next door and are a huge part of my kids lives, I hope that as the kids start to spread their wings they continue to talk with us all. Mine don't yet talk dating theory. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/01/25 02:46 PM |
| – | Whats your opinion on what men think the female gaze is?I like to first have some good banter. A few exchanges of conversation that are light-hearted or funny, or interesting, but not romantic. Ideally this is someone who we have some friend in common, that always feels much safer. Though I'm not on the dating market, I do talk with complete strangers pretty often, and sometimes they're being flirty - I do several kinds of social dance (swing, Contra, tango) and so will often have 1 minute between songs to fill with pleasantries. Even if I'm not ther… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/01/25 02:36 PM |
| 5 | Q4M: Would you rather be the Risky choice or the Safe choice in a woman's eyes? Why?Let's all agree that plenty of us humans have fantasies that we want to remain in the fantasy space. Things we can dirty talk about but never really want to do. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/01/25 12:10 AM |
| 2 | The promotion of gender wage parity should have been followed by a campaign to upend the importance of the primary male breadwinner roleEh, let's be curmudgeons together, woot woot. How're you raising kids? I'm still not certain how I ended up in this sub, it's been a zillion years since I was interested in dating, but since my two kids are within a few years of starting that I find myself fascinated in trying to understand what the modern dating world has gotten to. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 06/01/25 08:16 PM |
| 2 | The promotion of gender wage parity should have been followed by a campaign to upend the importance of the primary male breadwinner roleI live in a city of 30k people, and at every place I go here, be that parent spaces like the PTO, shuffling kids to karate and piano and soccer, adult spaces such as dance classes or work, being at the grocery store, it is expected that people be equal. It's a very feminist space, the flair button on my grocery checkout dude affirms his he/him pronouns etc. People do indeed hurt other people, for sure. And often, hurt people --> hurt other people. It goes around in a toxic soup. I don't in any w… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 06/01/25 07:21 PM |
| 1 | The promotion of gender wage parity should have been followed by a campaign to upend the importance of the primary male breadwinner roleMan, the community I live in is so baked in feminist that we don't even talk about it anymore. And we embrace men. Try to be open to it. My son's fifth grade sexual health class had an evening component for parents, and one of the questions was how do they deal with the topic of homophobia. The teacher chuckled and said that in recent years they stopped bringing it up because it seemed to confuse the kids, they didn't understand what some people hate other people for being gay. That particular t… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 06/01/25 06:58 PM |
| – | How can a man not feel worse when he realizes that his girlfriend/wife behaves more restrictedly and less passionately with him than with her past partners?He loves her and does everything for him, but she doesn’t do the same for him. None of this has anything at all, in any way, to do with any part of anyone's behavior before this relationship. It's also a huge whiplash from the initial premise. She could have been a selfish, frigid, ungrateful person her whole life, and "he loves her and does everything for him (sic, I assume you meant her) but she doesn’t do the same for him" applies. In which case he should in fact dump her ungrateful ass, and … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 06/01/25 06:08 PM |
| – | How can a man not feel worse when he realizes that his girlfriend/wife behaves more restrictedly and less passionately with him than with her past partners?Either the relationship currently meets needs, or it doesn't. Date the person you want to be with, not a person you are trying to change into somebody else. It sounds quite like you are trying to create a specific hypothetical where a woman was suspected to be more passionate and is now not so. Really, what you have is a current lack of passion. Whether or not different passion existed previously is fairly irrelevant, as it doesn't change your current (hypothetical) situation. When I was younger… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 06/01/25 06:02 PM |
| – | How can a man not feel worse when he realizes that his girlfriend/wife behaves more restrictedly and less passionately with him than with her past partners?This hypothetical is getting awfully specific. Don't "settle" for someone that doesn't meet your needs, or else if you decide you must "settle", embrace your choice. Many people were a bit wilder or, frankly, feeling a bit off the rails and out of control/ being used, at some point in their life. That doesn't negate their passion and loyalty once they grow up enough to feel control over their life. Either the relationship currently satisfies needs, or it doesn't. The rest is just borrowed angst. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 06/01/25 04:15 PM |
| – | Male Issues ActivismAs a woman observing: Community soccer and biking events seem to be important and inviting gathering spaces for boys and men. Consider coaching a city rec team (my dad did this as an assistant coach with very little background in soccer, there was good support). Elementary aged they were mixed gender, but by middle school and high school it's all boys and fathers. He also tried out the local Lions, Elks clubs, or maybe there's a Rotary near you. In the end they weren't a good fit for him and he … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 06/01/25 05:36 AM |
| 3 | Would you take a lie detector test to prove you love your partner?This. I'm married twenty years. No infidelity concerns, couple of healthy young teenage kids. If he either wanted a futuristic lie detector or a paternity test, I would think about jumping on that so hard in order to shame the shit out of him. Oh, everyone in our family, this man is so insecure he needs this test. Look, I've no concerns and I'm passing when flying colors, what does that say about him? Whew, deep breath, back to real life. This would never happen. We have a marriage together beca… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/01/25 09:48 PM |
| 2 | What do you see as "Men's Issues"As a confirmed feminist, I've been very strongly in support of my father, my husband and my son having male spaces. As in, we can all go to work or keep a house, but people who like knitting should have a knitting club and people interested in talking about their masculinity should have a men's group. My dad regularly hosts his men's group and that's rad. Just as my mom regularly participates in her women's group. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/01/25 06:04 PM |
| 2 | One of the main reasons why single men disdain single womenI think you've been hurt. I'm sorry you've been hurt. I hope you heal. Flirtation is not defined by putting a toe on a boundary line. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/01/25 05:44 PM |
| 1 | One of the main reasons why single men disdain single womenDunno, around me the men and women seem to be able to find real life connection pretty well. My social circle is aggressively feminist, and the guys get laid. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/01/25 05:41 PM |
| 3 | The promotion of gender wage parity should have been followed by a campaign to upend the importance of the primary male breadwinner role... my post was clearly about shedding them for all. It's not hypocrisy. Let me state it again clearly: shed expectations for all. Any individual human (male or female) should feel good about approaching a dating prospect. Any individual human (male or female) should feel good about finding gainful employment and providing material support to the person they love. I don't know any liberal feminists demanding to be trophies. In fact the two liberal feminists I know who do not do paid work are bot… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/01/25 05:07 PM |
| 5 | The promotion of gender wage parity should have been followed by a campaign to upend the importance of the primary male breadwinner roleI live in a very liberal part of a blue state, and it shows. It's wonderful for the kids to grow up to have these examples of different family structure. Girls and young women who know my friend Luma, they know that a smart strong woman can support a loving husband who takes care of their twins full time. They will feel more comfortable taking the first step when dating. Boys and young men who know my neighbor Nate and his wife Renee and see how they have taken turns, a few years at a time, work… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/01/25 05:02 PM |
| 12 | The promotion of gender wage parity should have been followed by a campaign to upend the importance of the primary male breadwinner roleI think the issue here is that women are not monolithic. The messages get blurry. You've got liberal feminists, who are happy to earn more and support their family, and have a house husband. I have three, no four couples in my immediate social circle who have men that do less paid work than their wives, including some that completely stay at home father. It wasn't our initial dynamic, but I out earned my husband this past decade, and he drives the kids around more. Then you've got women who want… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/01/25 03:45 PM |
| 8 | Getting good sex is immensely beneficial for your mental health and sometimes getting into an exciting relationship CAN solve your mental health strugglesSometimes it doesn't even need to be an exciting relationship, just comforting. I had one very sweet year with a man who was never going to be my forever, and he knew it, I knew it. We were both licking wounds from prior relationships and just needed someone easy and safe to hang around with and get off with. I guess these days they would call it a situationship or whatever but that lingo didn't exist, plus we agreed to be monogamous and hung out nearly every weekend. We were explicitly affectio… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/01/25 03:32 PM |
| 2 | This subreddit seems to think women must choose between horny sociopaths and asexual men.When what's possible changes too rapidly, we don't evolve the necessary associated boundaries. Wolves have the physical capability to kill each other, and have therefore evolved complex social behaviors to prevent it (submission). Wild doves can fly away faster than they can hurt each other, but kept caged that's not an option and they will sometimes kill each other from territorial aggression that has no social behavior to prevent it. The rapid expansion of social media has outpaced our species… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/01/25 03:14 PM |
| 5 | One of the main reasons why single men disdain single womenI think you have a weird definition of flirting. A flirt can be as simple as a good compliment, an appreciation that someone is attractive or has done something attractive, and that's the end of it. Some of the best flirtation in fact cherishes and commends another couple's great energy with each other, reinforcing that you don't want to sleep with either of them, but you think they're great together. It can at times be very courtly. "That jacket and hat look great on you, whoever the gal is you… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/01/25 02:52 PM |
| 1 | One of the main reasons why single men disdain single womenIn the online apps, this is true, they are toxic and skewed. In real life, not so much. People are people, some are horny, many flirt, some are men and some are women. Did you not catch that it was a word for word substitution? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/01/25 02:44 PM |
| 8 | One of the main reasons why single men disdain single womenI generally call it "fizz". When I'm feeling excited by life, by a great hike with a glorious sunset, by a friend who made a completely sensually scrumptious dinner, by some fantastic live music, we all get to feeling fizzy. Generally turned on about the world. I can build fizz with other people and choose to bring it home to my husband. I can send fizz to other people with the hope that it perks them up and they take it home to their partner. Or don't but that at least it makes them feel good a… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/01/25 08:13 PM |
| 2 | One of the main reasons why single men disdain single womenTheir school had a really, really serious curriculum about online behavior. As in they as the capstone brought in an FBI agent specializing in CSAM to talk to them about what it looks like to be groomed, and how we shouldn't do online games or Insta with people we don't know in real life. Nudes are forever, reshareable a thousand times, etc. I'm happy to enthusiastically support as much real life interaction as possible for my kids, be that sports or clubs. I want them interacting in the meat sp… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/01/25 07:38 PM |
| 2 | One of the main reasons why single men disdain single womenI've got my strong points and my weak points like anyone. I have always felt that it's incredibly important to draw back the veil, to let kiddos see that adults are working hard to make life work out. We are happy, joyful to provide for them, but this is how the sausage gets made. Back when they were elementary aged, if they squabbled but weren't ready to mend their relationship I would share anecdotes from work about adults holding their tongue and being civilized. This is why you kids need to … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/01/25 06:10 PM |
| 8 | One of the main reasons why single men disdain single womenThis is exactly the take I've been impressing on my teens, a girl and a boy. They know how much courage it takes to approach someone, and we talk about what it feels like to be shot down. I've tried to be transparent that I had meaningful relationships in my younger life that didn't end up in marriage but did teach me important lessons about how to treat people nicely and were inherently valuable. Practicing relationship skills. Mine haven't dated yet, but we have discussed some of the dating be… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/01/25 05:51 PM |
| 13 | One of the main reasons why single men disdain single womenIn real life, all of the most fun people I hang around with exude that they find most of the people around them attractive. Key being it needs to be ok to lightly flirt without it being an obligation. Once that safe space is established, it's game on. I can make it clear that I'm monogamous with my husband, but also that you are looking quite sharp today, tiger. I'm not going to smooch you, let alone fool around, but we can laugh together and make funny dance moves. I find it quite easy to pick … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/01/25 05:45 PM |
| 2 | One of the main reasons why single men disdain single womenLong about 2008ish I was renting a room to a friend of my brothers, a young man who had been in my life so long he was like a real sibling. He actually lived with my parents one year. Anyhow, he was late twenties aged at that point and at one point rather solemnly asked if while we planned to be away for the night, it would be ok if he had someone over that he had matched with online. I don't know what site. I remember just being completely flabbergasted at the idea of feeling safe having an Int… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/01/25 05:36 PM |
| 6 | One of the main reasons why single men disdain single womenThis is the toxicity of online dating. Men are more visually motivated and less wary about strangers, women would really rather be dating someone that's been vouched for in real life by a mutual friend or hobby club. How did we ever think this wasn't going to end up being incredibly cruel? And that's even before the programmers tweaked the algorithms to keep people scrolling as long as possible. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/01/25 05:25 PM |
| 10 | One of the main reasons why single men disdain single womenThis just doesn't make sense. There are approximately equal numbers of humans on the planet, and while there are a very very few splashy people who are out there having all kinds of promiscuous sex (both men and women) most people are pairing up. Rates of being gay are similar between men and women. When I sort through my social Rolodex of the young and middle aged people I work with, single status is not dominated by either men or women, it's approximately equally distributed. I think that guys… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/01/25 05:18 PM |
| 7 | One of the main reasons why single men disdain single womenI don't understand how this is unique to men in real life. In the online dating apps I see it, they are utterly toxic and programmed not to increase matches and happiness, but to keep you coming back and scrolling for more. They absolutely prey on the degree to which male sexual arousal can be stimulated visually. But in real life, why wouldn't a gal in the 5th percentile resent the fact that the average man she flirts with sees her as a grotesque, obese, wine-addicted, gold digging member of th… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/01/25 05:05 PM |
| 2 | A lot of women underestimate the importance of their personality when it comes to attractionI have found that when I work alongside men I respect, over the years as my trust and respect for them accumulates, we have funny inside jokes and shared experience of getting through adversity, sharing funny moments, celebrating little milestones, attraction increases. Now, I'm long married and monogamous, and I respect both my husband and these men and their relationships and nothing will ever happen. But pretty inevitably, my reptile brain tries them on and I have sex dreams about them here a… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/01/25 04:30 PM |
| – | There is a double standard with how society tolerates women talking about men's bodies vs how society tolerates men talking about women's bodiesAlthough the normal use of greek and Latin roots would lead one to think that this is the correct word, "clitoriDECtomy" is the proper term. It's all wrong, FGM and MGM but let's use the correct terms. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/01/25 04:10 PM |
| 2 | This subreddit seems to think women must choose between horny sociopaths and asexual men.It's true this is a pretty depressing sub. I don't know why it came up in my feed, but I'm fascinated. It's been years since I dated, and my marriage is strong and monogamous, so maybe all my opinions are outdated? It's hard to imagine that the human species has changed so very much in one generation. I've a few friends that are dating these days and they don't describe people being monsters like this. I've two young teenagers that aren't dating yet, but will likely be doing so in the next few y… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/01/25 03:27 PM |
| 2 | There is a double standard with how society tolerates women talking about men's bodies vs how society tolerates men talking about women's bodiesFeminists are generally pretty anti circumcision. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/01/25 06:20 AM |
| 6 | This subreddit seems to think women must choose between horny sociopaths and asexual men.Let's make a pact to see other people as complete humans, eh? Doesn't that seem like a good way to move through life? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/01/25 06:12 AM |
| 7 | There is a double standard with how society tolerates women talking about men's bodies vs how society tolerates men talking about women's bodiesDude, it's TMI but my husband is circumcised and has a lovely capacity to have great sex. There are many many men who will tell you the same. If you had a remotely normal procedure, you need to stop blaming your sexual activity on this. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/01/25 05:40 AM |
| 1 | There is a double standard with how society tolerates women talking about men's bodies vs how society tolerates men talking about women's bodiesUSA. Circumcision rates are plummeting, especially after Medicare stopped covering it. Oh we are way past that. He's 14 now, and I've fended off a pediatrician or two from retracting when he was an infant, but we had no issues. Boy diapers are actually easier than girl diapers, clean it like a finger. It's of course been a decade since I've seen his genitals. He's getting high quality fact based body positive sex ed at his school and the full Robie Harris suite of books at home. I guess I should… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/01/25 04:41 AM |
| 1 | I'm starting to think that finding a relationship is dependent only on your luckI am a great believer in luck, and I find that the harder I work, the more I have of it. I think people are a bit like avocados. They aren't ready, they aren't ready, they aren't ready, and then one day they are perfect and you simply must make guacamole. That's a bit of a bummer for people trying to turn it into an algorithm, but I think it's true. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/01/25 02:59 AM |
| 1 | This subreddit seems to think women must choose between horny sociopaths and asexual men.I'm like, terminally earnest. Always the straight man, never the jokester. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/01/25 02:41 AM |
| 5 | This subreddit seems to think women must choose between horny sociopaths and asexual men.Aren't there professional cuddlers now? link I've cultivated the kinds of friends that we can rub eachother's feet or shoulders, because I like being around people who are ok with physical contact. I know it's more rare now, and I find that sad. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/01/25 09:04 PM |
| 1 | There is a double standard with how society tolerates women talking about men's bodies vs how society tolerates men talking about women's bodiesLet's pivot the convo. As a sop for the OP, I feel personally strongly that talking about dick size is beyond rude, just as bad as talking about tits or whatever. My young teen son is uncircumcised, born into a culture that did largely circumcise baby boys. My husband, he's dear to me and has the best dick of all those I've had, but he's circumcised and I'm not certain he knows all of the parenting for an uncircumcised boy. Diapering was certainly a lesson, and I've been given the task of all th… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/01/25 07:22 PM |
| 2 | We should stop gender splitting in competitions where brain power is the only deciding factorI also feel this is important in caring - based choices. As in, when I visited several early childhood education centers to decide where to enroll my kids, I chose one that had some male teachers. When we paid for private elementary school, we chose one that had some male teachers (ok only 15% but better than others). I wanted my son and daughter to both have the experience that men can be valuable child minders/ teachers. I adored my kids' teachers, male and female. I'm glad they had the experi… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/01/25 07:10 PM |
| 36 | This subreddit seems to think women must choose between horny sociopaths and asexual men.This thread is so wild to read. In no way do I think that many, let alone most men are like these extremes. Men are humans, who may like things like ripe bananas, or a touch of vanilla in their waffle mix, who prefer to sleep with socks on or don't. Men sometimes want sex, and some of them relieve that urge to unload alone and some seek contact with women or other men. Some men like their earlobes nibbled and some don't. It's crazy to me to think that any large number of them are sociopaths. I'v… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/01/25 05:31 PM |
| 7 | This subreddit seems to think women must choose between horny sociopaths and asexual men.I actually have a friend who identifies as a high functioning psychopath. She's actually very restful to be around, after the first year or two of getting used to her. Everything she says is true, there's no bullshit. Sometimes she gets horny, and goes and gets laid. She's incredibly blunt about what she wants and what she won't put up with. Since she's smart and a high earner, a few times I've seen people try to cling, but she ain't having it. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/01/25 02:24 PM |
| 13 | Q4W: how common is it that women masturbate without an object of desire?For me it's a scene, a vibe, a set of physical sensations. While I do think about the male form, it is rare that it's a particular man (this is totally different when I'm with my husband, I'm thinking of him). | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/01/25 02:07 PM |
| 3 | How would you help an average man get a girlfriend?Lol, I hadn't seen that before, thanks for the laugh. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/01/25 02:02 PM |
| 9 | How would you help an average man get a girlfriend?Definitely a steady gym routine. Cardiovascular health correlates with sexual health, from erectile function to stamina for the thrusting, to tertiary things like depression and good sleep. Changing body composition very secondary to increasing basic daily movement and cardiovascular health. I'd spend a small amount of time on clothes, like finding him a few "impress" outfits, really more about shaking up his self image than changing how he dresses on the regular. The most important things would… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/01/25 05:36 AM |
| 1 | Do you support "old school" feminism?Why can't we find pockets of communities that are doing better and aspire to spread those elements of culture that are working? You and I both want this same thing - men to not feel like little more than a billfold being taken advantage of. I want my son to grow up and have meaningful romantic connections that value him for all of himself, not just for the earning power he will someday command due to his incredibly precocious ability with numbers and logic. I want my daughter to feel secure and … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/01/25 04:16 AM |
| 0 | Do you support "old school" feminism?You do you man. I am fully aware that there are parts of these great United States that are socially still more trad, and to me that's not an attractive way to live. I live in one of those coastal states, in a community where men can expect Dutch dates and bring wanted for that winning smile, easy banter, incisive wit and cute butt, not the paycheck. All my girlfriends worked and studied hard to be equal partners. Though I didn't at first, I've out earned my husband these past 12 years. And it's… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/01/25 03:42 AM |
| 4 | Do you support "old school" feminism?All the feminists I've known wanted to say at least at some point in their life earn their own wage, fix their own car, some of them wanted to live alone as well. Some of them eventually decided to marry and mingle finances with another person. Yes, I've seen the meme of that Instagram post of a woman saying "your money is our money, my money is my money" but never in real life have I seen anyone act that way. From late high school on, my friend groups included men. We would all go out and all s… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/01/25 01:49 AM |
| 3 | If you cant admit you want a hookup, dont get angry you cant get immediate sex from your date.I know that, and you know that, but there are still some posters here that ran with it and started describing wanting sex within three dates or GTFO. That's exactly what I mean to push back against. It's a fallacious logical jump. We can all express being attracted, flirt, give compliments, without falling straight into bed. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/01/25 12:47 AM |
| 2 | There is no hypocrisy if a guy for LTR wants sex , problem is differentWho are these people that people are dating that don't flirt? Heck I'm not even dating and I still find time to engage in what some people would call light flirtation. If a friend is looking sharp or says something particularly witty, I compliment them. The local grocery that I shop at switches to soul music after 9pm, and I was pushing my cart around, go pay the bulk aisle and I see some stranger reading the rice labels. But he's bopping along to the music, shaking his hips. It was so cute I ma… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/01/25 07:28 PM |
| 8 | Do you support "old school" feminism?I don't agree with giving women any of these things without responsibilities which is what old school feminism was pushing. Huh. I've never seen old school feminists that pushed for men to be required to provide for them. Back in the 70s when it was transgressive, my mom kept her maiden name when she married my father. Just as an example of the degree and era of feminism I was raised in. I never did learn that "a man walks on the side closer to the traffic" type stuff until someone mentioned it … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/01/25 06:58 PM |
| 8 | Women seem to be selecting for “coolness”Eh, I don't think it's any different than it's ever been. I also think your example is completely irrelevant to 99.9% of people trying to date, because the vast majority of people are a little bit of this and a little bit of that. The large majority of people who are musicians or athletes also have to have a day job. I know many men and women who practice every day and consider their occasional gig at the local brewpub to be a huge important part of their life, that doesn't support them financia… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/01/25 06:46 PM |
| 2 | To LTR a guy who just wants sex is like paying for an ugly sugar baby.This rings true for me. When I think back to my dating days, there were guys I had known, sometimes for years, and when it flipped into a sexual/romantic relationship it went very quickly. There were guys that I didn't previously know, and we stuck with making out while we got to know eachother. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/01/25 05:28 PM |
| 1 | Modern feminism has caused damage to the healthy romantic dynamic between men and women.So the girl, who claimed to be feminist, but also expected me to pay for the date is me not understanding the dynamic? Yes. She is not understanding the dynamic. Not everyone that claims a label has actually fully absorbed and adopted the meaning. I can call myself a pastry chef but that doesn't mean I'm very good at it. Labels can be helpful, they assist us as we move through various social interactions, but they aren't as important as actions. FWIW, I always felt that the person who did the as… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/01/25 04:45 PM |
| 4 | If you cant admit you want a hookup, dont get angry you cant get immediate sex from your date.luke warm love and an early hookup is the best indicator of it. Genuinely curious, I find this to be a leap of logic. Twenty years ago I fell madly for my husband. There was and still is great chemistry. We made the physical attraction clear that first night but didn't hookup, we kissed and hugged some but that's it. We both clearly felt strong attraction but didn't need to fall into bed immediately to prove that. Due to me living 2 hours away, our early "dates" were more like weekends together … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/01/25 04:16 PM |
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